FabSwingers.com forum: Should people reply??

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I can appreciate woman/couple are inundated with messages on a regular basis. However if someone puts the time and effort into sending a message (not copied and pasted bollocks) should it be courteous to reply??

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By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

wokingham

I hope everyone floods you with 1000 of messages and your forced to reply to every single one of them so you can learn what a ridiculous opinion that is to have

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I hope everyone floods you with 1000 of messages and your forced to reply to every single one of them so you can learn what a ridiculous opinion that is to have "

Lol...let's see...

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

No. If you read the site FAQS it says that it's not a requirement.

I understand your frustration but there are many reasons that people don't respond to messages

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No.

Sometimes the nicest person who replies to everyone is having a shitty time and just deletes the messages or blocks without replying.

I'm in this phase where I really can't be bothered spelling it out to people if they haven't read my profile so I've been on a block fest.

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By *partharmonyCouple
over a year ago

Ruislip

Oh dear. The age-old question again.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"No. If you read the site FAQS it says that it's not a requirement.

I understand your frustration but there are many reasons that people don't respond to messages "

100% it's not a requirement...

Just common courtesy. Like saying hello, people say hello back.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

There are too many rude people on here who don't reply to my messages!

It's not rude not to reply.

Some ladies and couples get hundreds of messages a day so it simply isn't possible for them to reply to everyone. If you don't get a response, you should assume they aren't interested. If you're getting a lot of "no-replies" then you should consider your profile and the messages you send. Are they giving the right message? Are you standing out from the thousands of other guys on here?

This is the quote from the FAQS

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Would receiving 100 ‘no’ messages improve your fab experience as opposed to having them deleted?

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By *tephTV67TV/TS
over a year ago

Cheshire

Ensure you reply to every comment on this thread or you’re guilty of the same offence.

Or would it be a waste of your time ?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"No.

Sometimes the nicest person who replies to everyone is having a shitty time and just deletes the messages or blocks without replying.

I'm in this phase where I really can't be bothered spelling it out to people if they haven't read my profile so I've been on a block fest. "

Oh no!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No. Nope. Not once.

Sending a message is hardly an intensive task why should even a well crafted one entitle someone to a reply.

And that's exactly what it is a sense of entitlement

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Ensure you reply to every comment on this thread or you’re guilty of the same offence.

Or would it be a waste of your time ? "

Haha!! very true

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Most of the messages we get are the same...

Hey?

How are you?

What you up to?

Wanne meet?

These get deleted no answer. There is no point in responding to people who put zero effort in.

You can also spot the cut and paste. Most of these guys send the same message to us time and time again. They get ignored.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Looks like I ruffled a few feathers....I was only asking.lol

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

No they shouldn't

Most people don't bother reading my profile, so I don't feel bad deleting.

I do reply to a well written message though and they are rare.

Just delete the message after you send it, then any reply is a bonus.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Most of the messages we get are the same...

Hey?

How are you?

What you up to?

Wanne meet?

These get deleted no answer. There is no point in responding to people who put zero effort in.

You can also spot the cut and paste. Most of these guys send the same message to us time and time again. They get ignored."

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Most of the messages we get are the same...

Hey?

How are you?

What you up to?

Wanne meet?

These get deleted no answer. There is no point in responding to people who put zero effort in.

You can also spot the cut and paste. Most of these guys send the same message to us time and time again. They get ignored."

My point exactly!! The one liners are a waste of time, but those using sum imagination and effort surely deserve a reply??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ve had to set my age filters so that nobody under the age of 99 can message me. How long do you reckon it would take to answer 1,643 messages?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"No they shouldn't

Most people don't bother reading my profile, so I don't feel bad deleting.

I do reply to a well written message though and they are rare.

Just delete the message after you send it, then any reply is a bonus. "

Fair play.x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I’ve had to set my age filters so that nobody under the age of 99 can message me. How long do you reckon it would take to answer 1,643 messages? "

1643 minutes...

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By *nliveneTV/TS
over a year ago

Selby

In the end is peoples choice if they reply or not.

Usually a no replay is a no

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I went down in a gal for a whole five minutes. Isnt it polite she returns the favour?

I had a shower before my date. Isn't it polite she fucks me ?

My local pizza company has emailed me about a deal. Is it polite to reply even though im not ordering. It was a personalised email....

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By *ooBulMan
over a year ago

Missin’ Yo’ Kissin’

On the whole, I've had replies. It's how you say & imply things.

Delete & don't expect a reply... That way you can't get upset or disapointed.

Perhaps she has shit & stuff going on in her life that you are not privvy to or aware of?

Expect nothing and your lkife on here will be so much better.

Oh, and get a hobby - the amount of people who don't is eye opening....

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By *nliveneTV/TS
over a year ago

Selby

"I’ve had to set my age filters so that nobody under the age of 99 can message me. How long do you reckon it would take to answer 1,643 messages? "

1,643 minutes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’ve had to set my age filters so that nobody under the age of 99 can message me. How long do you reckon it would take to answer 1,643 messages?

1643 minutes...

So you think I should use 27 (unpaid) hours of my time to respond to each message also by the time I’ve responded to one another two messages would’ve come in plus I’ll get a response off all the ones I respond to so doubles the workload.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks roo

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By *tephTV67TV/TS
over a year ago

Cheshire

If a woman gets 50 messages the decent one can be lost under the weight of the other 49. Every time she gets a ‘meeting now’ etc…the well thought out messages are further down the list, so maybe not seen.

Then she logs on again and her inbox is flooded again. Bye bye good message.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’ve had to set my age filters so that nobody under the age of 99 can message me. How long do you reckon it would take to answer 1,643 messages?

1643 minutes...

"
so 27 hours. Assuming no breaks. Crazy expectations.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I’ve had to set my age filters so that nobody under the age of 99 can message me. How long do you reckon it would take to answer 1,643 messages?

1643 minutes...

I was only messing, I get your point entirely.x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No thanks or no reply, the outcome is the same. Does it really matter??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If someone has taken the time to read our profile and sends a message that has clearly taken effort. We probably will respond to that.... very few messages from singles guys are like that though.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

"I can appreciate woman/couple are inundated with messages on a regular basis. However if someone puts the time and effort into sending a message (not copied and pasted bollocks) should it be courteous to reply??"

No. We don't reply to the unsolicited mail that comes through our postbox. Ditto with spam emails etc. We only reply to communications that are of interest to us, wherever that may be. We've had abuse back for politely saying "no thanks" and it means people can get past filters in the future.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thank you all for your input and responses...I get the message now!

(U see what I did there)

Lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thank you all for your input and responses...I get the message now!

(U see what I did there)

Lol"

There are threads like this so often and the last time, the OP dug their heels in after getting answers. It’s nice that you can see there are good reasons why people don’t reply sometimes.

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By *ollycouple71Couple
over a year ago

manchester

"No thanks or no reply, the outcome is the same. Does it really matter??"
this xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Thank you all for your input and responses...I get the message now!

(U see what I did there)

Lol

There are threads like this so often and the last time, the OP dug their heels in after getting answers. It’s nice that you can see there are good reasons why people don’t reply sometimes. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nah if they don't reply or care then their loss. Gotta do you pal.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not at all, for them to even know you spent time and effort, they would need to read it, and every other one while they are at it to spot the ones that put time and effort in. That time and effort is your own sunk cost, and there is no need for anyone to give you value for money by replying.

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By *elinefineWoman
over a year ago

kempston

If someone sends me a message with a bit of humour and makes me laugh but I’m not interested I will reply and let them know they made me laugh but no thanks. Those that are one liners or completely horrific I will just delete and then block if they get persistent.

I have had abuse though for saying thanks but no thanks... I don’t know why people think it is acceptable - I doubt any of the people that do give me the abuse would be brave enough to give it out face to face though....

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By *nliveneTV/TS
over a year ago

Selby

"I’ve had to set my age filters so that nobody under the age of 99 can message me. How long do you reckon it would take to answer 1,643 messages?

1643 minutes...

Imagine if answering msg was a paid , would be a full time job

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By *opsy RogersWoman
over a year ago

London

"No. If you read the site FAQS it says that it's not a requirement.

I understand your frustration but there are many reasons that people don't respond to messages

100% it's not a requirement...

Just common courtesy. Like saying hello, people say hello back.

Here we go again...if some random bloke said a random hello to me, this is what would happen.

First, my mind will, in a nanosecond assess where I am, do I have an immediate place of safety to run to, is my phone handy, how long would it take me to do 999 if I needed to, is there a sinister motive behind that greeting or is it entirely harmless? Do I acknowledge it for fear of being attacked if I don't or will replying encourage creepy and sinister behaviour?

An average day in the life of a woman.

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By *ooBulMan
over a year ago

Missin’ Yo’ Kissin’

"I’ve had to set my age filters so that nobody under the age of 99 can message me. How long do you reckon it would take to answer 1,643 messages?

1643 minutes...

Imagine if answering msg was a paid , would be a full time job

Yeah, with 2 paid PA's & a business manager?

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By *tephTV67TV/TS
over a year ago

Cheshire

"Thank you all for your input and responses...I get the message now!

(U see what I did there)

Lol

There are threads like this so often and the last time, the OP dug their heels in after getting answers. It’s nice that you can see there are good reasons why people don’t reply sometimes. "

Agree, he’s taken it on the chin, understood with good humour.

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By *sBlueWoman
over a year ago

Up North

I tried that, some say no worries, sometimes I get abuse, some try and change my mind. It’s easier not to reply. Plus we get lots of messages most of people who don’t read my profile so why should I reply to them

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By *ustin666666Man
over a year ago

Nottingham

I say. If you've took the time to read it then reply in some way if interested or block if not for you. Simples

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I tried that, some say no worries, sometimes I get abuse, some try and change my mind. It’s easier not to reply. Plus we get lots of messages most of people who don’t read my profile so why should I reply to them"

Completely understandable.

I'm relatively new to the site. Still finding my feet.

So thank you so much for your input.x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People absolutely should reply imo

......as and when they feel like it!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I saw a post the other day from a lady who had joined and on her first day had over 300 messages so know I don't think you need to reply . 3 days later she left the site stating she couldn't cope with all the abuse for not replying to all the messages

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I saw a post the other day from a lady who had joined and on her first day had over 300 messages so know I don't think you need to reply . 3 days later she left the site stating she couldn't cope with all the abuse for not replying to all the messages "

Thats terrible. Abusing people is not on at all. Sorry to hear that

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By *ebjonnsonMan
over a year ago

Maldon

It’s a natural feeling as it’s how we were brought up in the pre digital age.

Things have changed and a no reply is fine.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I reply to all my messages with as much politeness as I can… until someone pisses me off.

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By *ustfortheforumsWoman
over a year ago

No!!! Simple answer long answer no they shouldn’t have to reply if they are not interested. Just putting it out there

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Most well thought out messages are copy and paste. Take a few sentances from their profile, add it in and it looks like a personal one. A no response is a no thank you in my book.

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By *ex HolesMan
over a year ago

Up North

Attach a pic of your bumhole OP and they WILL reply

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By *ablo minibar123Woman
over a year ago

"No. If you read the site FAQS it says that it's not a requirement.

I understand your frustration but there are many reasons that people don't respond to messages

100% it's not a requirement...

Just common courtesy. Like saying hello, people say hello back.

It would be common courtesy for the people who messages me who quite obviously Dont fit what my profile is looking for to just not message me in the first place

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No. I don't understand why people think not responding to a message is the same as not replying when someone speaks to you face to face. I feel really sorry that they don't understand the differences between the different methods of communication. Life must be such a struggle.

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By *asilyled1Man
over a year ago

ogmore valley

"Looks like I ruffled a few feathers....I was only asking.lol"

I don’t think you’ve upset anyone OP,it’s just that there’s a thread about this every other day. And the answer is always the same

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By *asilyled1Man
over a year ago

ogmore valley

"Looks like I ruffled a few feathers....I was only asking.lol

I don’t think you’ve upset anyone OP,it’s just that there’s a thread about this every other day. And the answer is always the same

And as I sent that I can see another one has started

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In an ideal World yes, it would be deemed appropriate for peeps to act courteously by responding. However, we know it’s not always possible due to time, volume of messages received, etc. Simply assume it’s time to move on and not waste your precious time in trying to chase anyone who doesn’t reciprocate. Makes no sense to expect, knowing that should someone have an interest they will for sure respond to your message to learn more in the hope of arranging a meetup...

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By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's impossible to read each message, then read each profile, look at pics, reply yes/no, get into a conversation...there just isn't enough time in the day. After reading the 100th message, it can take the fun out of it...sometimes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I say. If you've took the time to read it then reply in some way if interested or block if not for you. Simples"

It isn’t simple, if you get messages in the quantities some women do.

Why should we use our own time answering unsolicited messages?

It’s our time to use as we please.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thank you all again for your responses. It's made my expectations and experience alot clearer now.

Well appreciated

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By *agneto.Man
over a year ago

Bham

If that was the case they'd be just answering messages 24/7. No forum time or anything.

It's unfortunate when it happens but happens to us all. Just have to deal with it.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"No. I don't understand why people think not responding to a message is the same as not replying when someone speaks to you face to face. I feel really sorry that they don't understand the differences between the different methods of communication. Life must be such a struggle. "

Cos Scarlet .... they cba reading rules and etiquette

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thank you all again for your responses. It's made my expectations and experience alot clearer now.

Well appreciated

At least you worked it out early. Just get involved in the forums instead and ignore your message box

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Thank you all again for your responses. It's made my expectations and experience alot clearer now.

Well appreciated

At least you worked it out early. Just get involved in the forums instead and ignore your message box

Thank you alda

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Thank you all again for your responses. It's made my expectations and experience alot clearer now.

Well appreciated

At least you worked it out early. Just get involved in the forums instead and ignore your message box

Thank you alder

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In my job I get 100s of unsolicited emails every day, I currently have over 40,000 unread mails from the last few years. If I was "courteous" (READ: Stupd) enough to respond to every single one, even just to say "No thanks", I'd never get anything done.

No one owes you a reply. You're not entitled to their time, nor are you entitled to make passive aggressive demands on them.

Imagine walking down the street and every few minutes someone is trying to speak to you about something... There aren't enough hours in the day for most people who get bombareded to even read/open all their messages, let alone reply.

Don't stress about it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No one owes you a reply. You're not entitled to their time, nor are you entitled to make passive aggressive demands on them.

Don't stress about it. "

If you stop looking up porn kn your work computer that number will go waaayyyy down

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No freaking way. I get vertigos just looking at the number of messages.

4239 … like it’s not gonna happen .

I’ll reply to some people from the forum, the guys I’ve met before and sometimes a person who can catch my really short attention span

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By *ustdaveHantsMan
over a year ago

chippenham

Op patience is a virtue on here just keep trying..... Obviously don't be a pushy pest.

If it helps I'm out on a meet tonight lol

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By *ustdaveHantsMan
over a year ago

chippenham

"No freaking way. I get vertigos just looking at the number of messages.

4239 … like it’s not gonna happen .

I’ll reply to some people from the forum, the guys I’ve met before and sometimes a person who can catch my really short attention span

x "

Or jack if he ever pops up on here lol x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No freaking way. I get vertigos just looking at the number of messages.

4239 … like it’s not gonna happen .

I’ll reply to some people from the forum, the guys I’ve met before and sometimes a person who can catch my really short attention span

Or jack if he ever pops up on here lol x"

Hahah yes I mean he’d get my number , my address and my knickers straight away

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I rarely reply to anyone... Delete unread most, as it is pretty clear they haven't read my profile. People that are messaging about socials or my friends, I will get to, eventually, usually

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s not rude to not reply when you get so

Many single fake men bombarding you every day! You don’t have the time to look to see who’s real and who isn’t

So I just delete haft without reading

If they don’t look right

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"No freaking way. I get vertigos just looking at the number of messages.

4239 … like it’s not gonna happen .

I’ll reply to some people from the forum, the guys I’ve met before and sometimes a person who can catch my really short attention span

Or jack if he ever pops up on here lol x

Hahah yes I mean he’d get my number , my address and my knickers straight away

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"No freaking way. I get vertigos just looking at the number of messages.

4239 … like it’s not gonna happen .

I’ll reply to some people from the forum, the guys I’ve met before and sometimes a person who can catch my really short attention span

Or jack if he ever pops up on here lol x

Hahah yes I mean he’d get my number , my address and my knickers straight away

Hahaha!lmfao

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By *ikAshCouple
over a year ago

London

I think if someone sent us a well thought out message, we would definitely reply, however the majority of the time, they are zero effort messages… a simple copy and paste!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This topic comes along often, very often.

People get a little peed off how often they topic pops up, some of these people still reply to such threads.

Nice one OP for your response.

My view, in a perfect world, yes it would be courteous to reply to reach well thought out message.

I do try, however, this often offers faint hope to some which then brings on a conversation.

Some of the responses to a polite No are not as tasteful as their first message and I can understand why people choose to ignore rather than be drawn into conversation.

Not receiving a polite no is frustrating, though so is the response to a polite no in too many occasions

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you stop looking up porn kn your work computer that number will go waaayyyy down

HAHAHA... It's the public-facing job I work in, and my email address has been passed around without permission via mailing lists.

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By *ustdaveHantsMan
over a year ago

chippenham

"No freaking way. I get vertigos just looking at the number of messages.

4239 … like it’s not gonna happen .

I’ll reply to some people from the forum, the guys I’ve met before and sometimes a person who can catch my really short attention span

Or jack if he ever pops up on here lol x

Hahah yes I mean he’d get my number , my address and my knickers straight away

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By *ydialovelaceTV/TS
over a year ago

Devon

I don’t reply to people that have t read my profile. The content of their message usually tells me if they have done this.

I will use the pizza leaflet analogy once again. I have a letter box, people can put things through my letter box. A flyer comes through my letter box that the poster thinks I should find interesting or desirable (say pizza take away), I am not interested. Should I write them a letter stating this or delete (put in bin) their message (flyer)?

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

Do you reply to every piece of unsolicited junk mail that drops through your letterbox OP?

I didn’t think so.

This is exactly the same thing.

It’s a remarkably entitled attitude to demand replies from someone just because you chose to message them. No one owes you anything, that includes a smile

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