FabSwingers.com forum: Cancelled meet last minute

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Hey, so I needed your opinion on something as I don’t know if I’m looking too deep into it. I arranged a meet with someone and all was well. Booked hotel and time etc it was all sorted. Then 2 days prior to meeting she blanks me multiple times. Then the morning of (today) I message again to see what’s going on and she now says she just found out last night she’s busy… that followed with removing me as a friend. So she has a chance to message me beforehand and be honest but she chose not to and when I asked her she blocked me.

Am I looking into it too much or was she just an ass of a person?

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By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

wokingham

Who cares what the truth is, the way they handled it would mean they are dead to me. Welcome to the block list

Manners cost nothing, to get everything booked then blank you multiple times? Sounds to me they had no intention of meeting, but as I said, who cares what’s happening behind the scenes when they’ve displayed an entire shit show for you

Block and move on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 09/11/21 08:14:39]

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Who cares what the truth is, the way they handled it would mean they are dead to me. Welcome to the block list

Block and move on "

Thanks bro. I realised the vibe changed so I cancelled the hotel beforehand. People that that ruin the site. I don’t even care about not meeting, I got to sleep in lol. I just would have appreciated honesty… honesty which she said I’m not entitled to?!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you've still got that hotel room. Try and find another to meet.

It's worth a try.

Next time, make sure that person is sat infront of you, before you book.

You've been treated badly!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"If you've still got that hotel room. Try and find another to meet.

It's worth a try.

Next time, make sure that person is sat infront of you, before you book.

You've been treated badly!"

Thanks ma’am. And I just cancelled. I’m not fussed with the meet tbh. But atleast I know I’m not being dramatic haha.

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By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

wokingham

"Who cares what the truth is, the way they handled it would mean they are dead to me. Welcome to the block list

Block and move on

Honestly, as a man you aren’t entitled to anything in the world you can’t get yourself. She doesn’t have to be honest, or reply, but you don’t have to put up with that low effort, rude energy either

Like my man said. All you’ve got in this world is your word and your balls. And you don’t break them for no one

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Who cares what the truth is, the way they handled it would mean they are dead to me. Welcome to the block list

Block and move on

Like my man said. All you’ve got in this world is your word and your balls. And you don’t break them for no one "

That’s true man. We gotta be respectful and show standard decency to them yet don’t get treated the same in return. But o’ well.

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By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

wokingham

"Who cares what the truth is, the way they handled it would mean they are dead to me. Welcome to the block list

Block and move on

Like my man said. All you’ve got in this world is your word and your balls. And you don’t break them for no one

That’s true man. We gotta be respectful and show standard decency to them yet don’t get treated the same in return. But o’ well."

We don’t gotta do anything. We do it because we are good people. And rude dishonest people come in every gender, colour, size and shape. Don’t let it get you down and don’t lower yourself to anyone else’s standards

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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

Did you speak with this woman at all or meet her for a social first?

Were your messages overtly sexual and/or did you send explicit photos?

Was she meet verified by more than 1 person?

There is every possibility you were never going to meet this person as they may not exist.

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By *heGateKeeperMan
over a year ago

Stratford

Rude and unfortunate but also life. This is generally why I prefer socials with people and a fair bit of prior communication prior to anything.

Hope you are able to cancel on the day and get something back

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By *uriousscouserWoman
over a year ago

Wirral

I know people do have stuff that comes up at the last minute but the fact she's removed you from her friends does suggest she was messing you around.

I'm glad you didn't lose out financially - always bloody irritating when that happens and it's happened to me a couple of times lately where I've been sat in a bar or restaurant like a plum waiting for someone who is never going to show.

Onwards and upwards, and I hope the next experience is a more positive one for you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s fucking rude, that’s what it is. I can’t excuse behaviour like that. It’s fine for her to change her mind, of course, but she should have communicated that to you!

It’s all very well to say ‘forget her’, but what she has done must feel like shit to you. Hope you’re ok.

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

This is really rude op,sorry you had this.

If they changed their mind, all they had to do was say or message when they found out they were supposedly busy.

It's just messing you about

I'd block and forget them.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Did you speak with this woman at all or meet her for a social first?

Were your messages overtly sexual and/or did you send explicit photos?

Was she meet verified by more than 1 person?

There is every possibility you were never going to meet this person as they may not exist."

She was wet verified by a few people, 7-9 I think. And bee sent face pics etc. We were friends so could see all the pics we have. But I guess ppl are shit lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Rude and unfortunate but also life. This is generally why I prefer socials with people and a fair bit of prior communication prior to anything.

Hope you are able to cancel on the day and get something back "

Thanks lad. I cancelled the day before as I knew I kinda got the vibe so lost out on nothing l… except I woke up early lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I know people do have stuff that comes up at the last minute but the fact she's removed you from her friends does suggest she was messing you around.

Onwards and upwards, and I hope the next experience is a more positive one for you."

Oh damn, I’m not the only one lol.. jk. Sorry to hear but yes. Onto bigger and better things

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"It’s fucking rude, that’s what it is. I can’t excuse behaviour like that. It’s fine for her to change her mind, of course, but she should have communicated that to you!

It’s all very well to say ‘forget her’, but what she has done must feel like shit to you. Hope you’re ok."

Oh I’m totally fine lol, it’s just meet to me. I wouldn’t let it get to me. I think im more annoyed that I woke up early lolll but I appreciate the response

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"This is really rude op,sorry you had this.

If they changed their mind, all they had to do was say or message when they found out they were supposedly busy.

It's just messing you about

I'd block and forget them. "

Exactly, a simple few worded message would’ve helped but I guess let as others say, she probably was just pulling me along.

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By *pectressWoman
over a year ago

Midlothian

I agree with this. If lots of us don’t accept this shitty behaviour then the culture here will improve.

Changing your mind is more than ok, not communicating your change of mind isn’t kind or fair.

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By *rMrsBrightsideCouple
over a year ago

Newcastle

Things change, that’s life but there’s no need to mess people about. It’s a shame people behave like that but it happened to us all at some point. Hopefully your next meet will go well

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By *astlincscoupleCouple
over a year ago

Tinsel Town

It's shit OP, but I would have asked to speak to her over the phone.

I know some people don't like doing it but if your going to fuck someone, a quick phone call to confirm should be easy enough to do.

If we get excuses on why they don't want to give thier number out, it's a no thanks and block.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If sounds like she was never planning to actually meet you.

I'm glad you didn't loose out financially with the hotel, and I'm sorry you had this experience.

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By *issYeuxBleusWoman
over a year ago

My boudoir - S Wales

Aww that’s really shitty! I don’t think there’s any excuse to let it get that far, then ignore and block. Have some respect and tell the truth.

A big step to take for a first meet!. I’ve found recently that if I can’t get to someone for a social meet before wanting to rip their clothes off, have a couple of video calls before hand helps. I know this doesn’t stop people having to cancel, but may save you a lot of time and effort in future.

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By *odgerMooreMan
over a year ago

Fulwood

Happens more that we like to admit on here - there are lots of people here for lots of different reasons - sadly some of those reasons are to mess people about or ‘ the thrill of the chase!’ The makeup of the site has changed over the years from mostly genuine swingers as in people who want friendships as well as playmates to people either just wanting their ego massaged and timewasters. Thats not to say that there aren’t lots of genuine people left - especially on the forums. But the likelihood of this happening is greater than ever because of the amount of timewasters. Lots of genuine people get so annoyed by their behaviour they end up leaving the site. Which makes it worse. The behaviour you described is sadly all too common - as some of the others have posted - have video calls and or a social meet first that way you can also tell if the pic

They sent is this century or last

Astonishing as it may seem - some send old pics of themselves too.

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

A time waster x

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

At least it confirms that people do need to inform others if they change their minds at the earliest moment. I always speak on the phone before confirming a meet, as well as the specific details. You get a better feeling for someone if you're speaking live, rather than text based chat.

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By *yclindaveMan
over a year ago

Leicester

It's just rude frankly! It takes nothing to make a call or drop a message as to why you can't meet or even don't want to meet.

Least if you are open I can understand that, I'm laid up in bed with flu at the moment, but I made sure I sent a message to the ladies I was due to see to say raincheck, I have flu sorry to let you down. It's just polite.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think "she" was really a "he" and just strung you along for reasons unknown.

If you didn't see them in person or spoke to them on the phone then it most likely was a man x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hey, so I needed your opinion on something as I don’t know if I’m looking too deep into it. I arranged a meet with someone and all was well. Booked hotel and time etc it was all sorted. Then 2 days prior to meeting she blanks me multiple times. Then the morning of (today) I message again to see what’s going on and she now says she just found out last night she’s busy… that followed with removing me as a friend. So she has a chance to message me beforehand and be honest but she chose not to and when I asked her she blocked me.

Am I looking into it too much or was she just an ass of a person? "

Both ..but she has the majority of ass % ... people like that are just downright disrespectful..if a person doesn't want to meet ..fine .no truck with that ... absolutely none...not every shoe fits ...but those that fuck around with a person like that has absolutely no class whatsoever ..none ..

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By *urulovesnylonMan
over a year ago

Harrow

Have had it done to me a few times too although not from Fab.

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By *iscean_dreamMan
over a year ago

Llanelli

Glad you didn't lose money but they could have let you know sooner. This site is unfortunately full of people that don't really plan on meeting anyone.

I had to cancel a meet for this coming weekend but I told her yesterday and neither of us have lost money but I had to cancel due to my car needing to be fixed and it's the first time I've cancelled.

Had people cancel on me plenty of times and I don't get excited until I see them standing in front of me because I know they might cancel.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In future just have social meets first. Don’t think about doing the hotel and the deed on the first meet. Even if they insist they’re up for it, say you like to establish there’s an attraction first and everyone is happy before arranging for anything else. Nobody is really that busy to have a quick coffee with someone.

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By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

wokingham

"I think "she" was really a "he" and just strung you along for reasons unknown.

If you didn't see them in person or spoke to them on the phone then it most likely was a man x"

Little bit sexist to just assume if someone messes someone about it was a man don’t you think? Like women aren’t able to be rude/nasty

Genders is irrelevant anyways here. I know it’s a possibility but it doesn’t change how OP should act

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You’ve every reason to feel upset, since she was being anything but a lady; with no signs of any good manners or proper etiquette.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think "she" was really a "he" and just strung you along for reasons unknown.

If you didn't see them in person or spoke to them on the phone then it most likely was a man x

Little bit sexist to just assume if someone messes someone about it was a man don’t you think? Like women aren’t able to be rude/nasty

Genders is irrelevant anyways here. I know it’s a possibility but it doesn’t change how OP should act "

Not sexist at all. Women are also rude and nasty.

However the OP is a man looking for women. You only have to read the forums or be in the chat room to know that it's not unknown for men to pretend to be women in the hope of winding up a guy or getting info/pics from them

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By *idsCouple1Couple
over a year ago

Tamworth

Sounds like a trash human to me!

I’m sorry she did that to you..

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By *nnCeeWoman
over a year ago

East of Eden, West of Hell

I echo what many people have already said...

There's no reason for anyone to treat another person in such a way.

Yes, you have the right to change your mind, and stuff happens all the time, which might mean at the last minute, you have to change your plans. But it very much sounds as if they were leading you on.

Sorry for that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 09/11/21 12:49:03]

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By *aunchy RaccoonsCouple
over a year ago

Exeter

Probably a single guy holding behind a fake female profile.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

dont forget the forums are not the rulebook just because its said in here dont mean nothing..

95% of fab dont use the forums most dont use phones (except them in the forums) most dont give out emails (except them in the forums) and most dont use apps (except them in the forums)

if you keep getting let down id suggest you stop and take a look at what you are doing wrong your self in attracting these let downs ... we meet often and cant remember the last time we got let down ...any sign of messing blocked any drama blocked blocked blocked it works..

also i belive some (meaning not all) use this letdown posting as a look at me oh poor me type post ... but also there are going to be let downs for real reasons too..

also notice of late its nearly all men posting this so whos sucking them in and blowing them out ...mostly other men at a guess

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This has happened to me multie times. We have chatted, got to know each other. Agree to talk away from this site. All goes great, they prove they're real etc but as soon as I bring up actually meeting, I get ghosted. Then blocked.

No reply, no reason, just gone

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This has happened to me multie times. We have chatted, got to know each other. Agree to talk away from this site. All goes great, they prove they're real etc but as soon as I bring up actually meeting, I get ghosted. Then blocked.

No reply, no reason, just gone"

thats not being let down that them losing interest big difference

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By *arlly83Couple
over a year ago

wilmslow

Time wasters are a pain in the ass, unfortunately they are out there!! At least you didn't do what i did, i arranged a meet with someone at their apartment and i turned up on time, told them i was waiting outside only to be told they were 5 mins away and will be there soon, 20 minutes later they said they were 7 minutes away, after waiting 45 minutes in total i left , told them i had left, and then magically received a message stating they were now home and i should come back, needless to say i didn’t go back!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I gave up meeting through here before covid, it's not worth the hassle. I only meet in clubs now. Sorry this happened but it's not the first time and won't be last someone is let down like this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you've still got that hotel room. Try and find another to meet.

It's worth a try.

Next time, make sure that person is sat infront of you, before you book.

You've been treated badly!

Thanks ma’am. And I just cancelled. I’m not fussed with the meet tbh. But atleast I know I’m not being dramatic haha. "

Not sure what you mean by not being dramatic....

Having a moan about it on a thread might be considered just that....

Take care and enjoy the site!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"If you've still got that hotel room. Try and find another to meet.

It's worth a try.

Next time, make sure that person is sat infront of you, before you book.

You've been treated badly!

Thanks ma’am. And I just cancelled. I’m not fussed with the meet tbh. But atleast I know I’m not being dramatic haha.

Not sure what you mean by not being dramatic....

Having a moan about it on a thread might be considered just that....

Take care and enjoy the site!"

It wasn’t really a moan, i wnated some insight on if I was right to think what I thought and with everyone’s response I guess I was right.

Thanks you too

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks to everyone who made me feel better. I appreciate you all.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sadly too many jokers p takers about think nothing about you wasting your time, effort and money.

Learn from this and IMO, some of the persons that claim to be women are just guys or couples taking the p. Even some couples IMO there is no woman or the woman does not know

So learn from it pal.

Great that people had made you feel better as you have done nothing wrong.

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By *good-being-badMan
over a year ago

mis-types and auto corrects leads cock leeds

Am I looking into it too much or was she just an ass of a person? "

If this was your first experience learn from the warning signs trust your gut.

if its happened before learn from them.

If its happening a lot you're the common denominator

My immeadiate thought red flag when they blanked you a couple of days prior.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had someone cancel on me once because she apparently turned up, saw me and left because I was nothing like what my pictures suggested and I should be ashamed of trying to meet under false pretences and I was just like all the other cunts on here

I read the message while I was still walking to the meeting point.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Probably a single guy holding behind a fake female profile."

That's what i think

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

I think it’s also helps to almost have a checklist you can tick off before even getting the stage of meeting as too many people rush headlong thinking with their genitalia…

For example .. simple common sense stuff

Did you speak to them over the phone?

It’s like a red flag list… and if people don’t check them all off, then don’t meet them, or don’t meet them until they do

Not blaming the op at all.. but you do get the feeling now that so many people want everything asap that they are prepared to compromise of things the people who have been doing this for a while would never have done, even from just a safety point of view

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sadly too many jokers p takers about think nothing about you wasting your time, effort and money.

Learn from this and IMO, some of the persons that claim to be women are just guys or couples taking the p. Even some couples IMO there is no woman or the woman does not know

So learn from it pal.

Great that people had made you feel better as you have done nothing wrong."

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By *uriousscouserWoman
over a year ago

Wirral

"I think it’s also helps to almost have a checklist you can tick off before even getting the stage of meeting as too many people rush headlong thinking with their genitalia…

For example .. simple common sense stuff

Did you speak to them over the phone?

It’s like a red flag list… and if people don’t check them all off, then don’t meet them, or don’t meet them until they do

I know when I stopped and thought about how come I had a few couples and women letting me down lately it's because I had relaxed a lot of the screening stuff I do when I'm chatting to men on here.

Lesson learned, I'm back to doing all that "red flag list" stuff across the board (great term by the way) and it's making things run much more smoothly

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Am I looking into it too much or was she just an ass of a person? "

That is what happens on here unfortunately. That really is bad manners and disrespectful and it gives alot of us good women a bad name.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Probably a single guy holding behind a fake female profile.

That's what i think

They were verified by meet and a photo. So not sure

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Its simple the profile

Male or female

Were timewasters

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