FabSwingers.com forum: Unread messages

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Hi, why almost half of the messages I’ve sent not even read?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They might have read it then marked as unread.

They don't look at their inbox, just here for the forum.

They went to check your profile first - They didn't like it and decided not to open the message

They are busy.

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

Lots of reasons they get to many u to far away not age range dont like the look of first few words eg come sit on my face x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Are you doing the same? Lol x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Lots of reasons they get to many u to far away not age range dont like the look of first few words eg come sit on my face x"

At least should make an effort and really I think?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you really want to know why women don't reply (couples have their own reasons although some overlap) read this thread:

https://m.fabswingers.com/forum/lounge/1221076

No reply = no, thank you on Fab

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By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

wokingham

What’s the etiquette on unread messages? Message again at another date assuming your message got lost in the sea of FAF messages?

Or just assume uninterested?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have no excuse, half the time I just can't be bothered.

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

"Lots of reasons they get to many u to far away not age range dont like the look of first few words eg come sit on my face x

At least should make an effort and really I think? "

Just to many to reply to x

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

You’ll go mad trying to work out the motivations of other people.

The simplest and most direct answer is to delete your sent messages. Then you won’t be tormented by what’s been read or not.

The only thing that you need to worry about is if/when they reply. Everything else is just pointless noise

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By *xydadbodMan
over a year ago

Milton keynes

I think that's my weakness. I reply to any messages I get.. doesn't matter who sends them.. I will try to reply when I can. Unless the message is inappropriate then I will just simply delete even though it goes against my OCD lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It might be a good thing, quick responses might get a faster turn around for me. I wait until I have time to put effort in to answer people I actually want to talk too, these one's are left unread.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You may not have messaged any couples, but if you have, it might be because one person has read the message then marked it as unread for the other half to pick up at some later time.

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By *hancer666Man
over a year ago

Redbourn

I could give you 20 reasons off top of my head right now. ...main ones being single guy profile on fab.swingers and whatever your messaging. Advice....keep same strategy and your next post will be 'Why do I get blocked when things were going so well'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think that's my weakness. I reply to any messages I get.. doesn't matter who sends them.. I will try to reply when I can. Unless the message is inappropriate then I will just simply delete even though it goes against my OCD lol"

But if, say, you received a dozen messages a day all saying "how's you or something similar" would you still reply? Even 15 messages a day (which is not remotely what some women receive) means over 100 messages a week.

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By *xydadbodMan
over a year ago

Milton keynes

That depends really. Normally I don't open messages unless I have intention to actually look closer what's been said or to reply, depending if I'm just quickly logging in to have a quick glance but normally if I can reply to a few at the time, I would

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I want to spend my time chatting to friends or someone I might meet or enjoy the forum. I don't want to spend my time replying to unsolicited messages from guys who make no effort and haven't read my profile. I can tell they haven't read my profile because they don't meet my criteria. That's 9/10 messages of the messages I receive. And I don't receive more than about 30 a day.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What’s the etiquette on unread messages? Message again at another date assuming your message got lost in the sea of FAF messages?

Or just assume uninterested? "

You assume someone is uninterested. No reply = no, thank you. It's in the Fab rules.

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By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

wokingham

"What’s the etiquette on unread messages? Message again at another date assuming your message got lost in the sea of FAF messages?

Or just assume uninterested?

You assume someone is uninterested. No reply = no, thank you. It's in the Fab rules. "

I thought the fab rules were deleted = no Thankyou

If it’s unopened, that means it’s not even been read?

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By *xydadbodMan
over a year ago

Milton keynes

I think that's where the difference between men and women profiles on here.. I don't get that many messages on here anyway apart from those I talk regularly anyway so the new ones don't often reach that many anyway but I've gathered from speaking to a few people and from these forums that's not the case for women on here. When it reaches beyond more than 10 a day, I can see how being selective will be the best way forward otherwise it would be a nightmare

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I think women should make an effort just to delete the message even if she doesn’t read it

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By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

wokingham

"I think women should make an effort just to delete the message even if she doesn’t read it "

It would definitely make it clearer

I personally just block whoever deletes my message as that’s a clear “not interested”, so there’s no point having them on my search results

But unopened? Did you read it and mark as unread? Did you just miss it in a sea of other messages? Could we be be the perfect match you just didn’t see, or should I assume unread = uninterested and block? It’s tough

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 07/11/21 11:46:46]

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I think women should make an effort just to delete the message even if she doesn’t read it

It would definitely make it clearer

I personally just block whoever deletes my message as that’s a clear “not interested”, so there’s no point having them on my search results

Exactly

Confused. Com

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By *tarflyLouWoman
over a year ago

Preston

Don’t overthink it, just assume that if she wanted to read and reply that she would have done, because I think that’s most often the case

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By *partharmonyCouple
over a year ago

Ruislip

If they are short, like "Hi" or "How are you?" then they can be read in their entirity with the preview so there's no need to open them. How long are your messages?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"If they are short, like "Hi" or "How are you?" then they can be read in their entirity with the preview so there's no need to open them. How long are your messages? "

This is a fair point but some messages are long

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What’s the etiquette on unread messages? Message again at another date assuming your message got lost in the sea of FAF messages?

Or just assume uninterested?

You assume someone is uninterested. No reply = no, thank you. It's in the Fab rules.

I thought the fab rules were deleted = no Thankyou

If it’s unopened, that means it’s not even been read? "

This is from the Fab FAQs

"here are too many rude people on here who don't reply to my messages!

It's not rude not to reply.

Some ladies and couples get hundreds of messages a day so it simply isn't possible for them to reply to everyone. If you don't get a response, you should assume they aren't interested. If you're getting a lot of "no-replies" then you should consider your profile and the messages you send. Are they giving the right message? Are you standing out from the thousands of other guys on here?"

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By *esthetic21Man
over a year ago

Birmingham/Bristol

"Hi, why almost half of the messages I’ve sent not even read? "
cause women are cunts

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think women should make an effort just to delete the message even if she doesn’t read it "

I think women will do what they want with lots of unsolicited messages. And you don't get to tell them how to manage their messages. That's entitled.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I think women should make an effort just to delete the message even if she doesn’t read it

I think women will do what they want with lots of unsolicited messages. And you don't get to tell them how to manage their messages. That's entitled. "

As long as they have a profile here I think they are solicited messages

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think women should make an effort just to delete the message even if she doesn’t read it

I think women will do what they want with lots of unsolicited messages. And you don't get to tell them how to manage their messages. That's entitled. "

I was about to type pretty much this

We can choose how we deal with our messages, and don’t need men telling us what to do.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hi, why almost half of the messages I’ve sent not even read? cause women are cunts

Really?

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By *orkie_80Man
over a year ago

naughty town

If they don’t reply take it on the chin and move on buddie we are not all everybody cuppa tea like I am sure I am not all part of life

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I think women should make an effort just to delete the message even if she doesn’t read it

I think women will do what they want with lots of unsolicited messages. And you don't get to tell them how to manage their messages. That's entitled.

I was about to type pretty much this

We can choose how we deal with our messages, and don’t need men telling us what to do. "

We all are here for pretty much the same thing x

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By *jorkishMan
over a year ago

Seaforth

Unread message to me reads can't be assed reading

Read and not replied reads not interested

Not according to the rules though lol

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By *esthetic21Man
over a year ago

Birmingham/Bristol

"Hi, why almost half of the messages I’ve sent not even read? cause women are cunts

Really?"
it's called sarcasm

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hi, why almost half of the messages I’ve sent not even read? "
because we get tared with the same brush they don't delete just in case they get hassle someone will come along some telling you about the site rule's just block and move on you'll get used to been a lower mortal enjoy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hi, why almost half of the messages I’ve sent not even read? cause women are cunts

Think with that response you deserve not to have your messages read.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think women should make an effort just to delete the message even if she doesn’t read it

I think women will do what they want with lots of unsolicited messages. And you don't get to tell them how to manage their messages. That's entitled.

I was about to type pretty much this

We can choose how we deal with our messages, and don’t need men telling us what to do.

We all are here for pretty much the same thing x"

Are we? I don’t think we are actually. We all have different reasons for joining, and those reasons can evolve over time.

It still doesn’t mean we ‘should’ do anything.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hi, why almost half of the messages I’ve sent not even read? cause women are cunts

Really?it's called sarcasm

Sure

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hi, why almost half of the messages I’ve sent not even read? cause women are cunts

Really?it's called sarcasm

I wouldn't be lighting matches near dry tinder ...

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By *esthetic21Man
over a year ago

Birmingham/Bristol

"Hi, why almost half of the messages I’ve sent not even read? cause women are cunts

Think with that response you deserve not to have your messages read. "
lol who said people don't read my messages?

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By *esthetic21Man
over a year ago

Birmingham/Bristol

"Hi, why almost half of the messages I’ve sent not even read? cause women are cunts

Really?it's called sarcasm

Sure

"
sure sure

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By *ittyandtheboyCouple
over a year ago

Back of the bins.

We open most ours, we don’t reply unless they’re interesting though. Last time we were with a single female friend we saw her inbox had well over 100 unread messages. No one can keep up with that volume!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you really want to know why women don't reply (couples have their own reasons although some overlap) read this thread:

https://m.fabswingers.com/forum/lounge/1221076

No reply = no, thank you on Fab"

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By *esthetic21Man
over a year ago

Birmingham/Bristol

"Hi, why almost half of the messages I’ve sent not even read? cause women are cunts

Really?it's called sarcasm

I wouldn't be lighting matches near dry tinder ...

"
well I'm not gonna pretend to be someone in not to appease the fab forums. Obviously I'm don't think women are cunts I adore women. People in general are cunts though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think women should make an effort just to delete the message even if she doesn’t read it

I think women will do what they want with lots of unsolicited messages. And you don't get to tell them how to manage their messages. That's entitled.

I was about to type pretty much this

We can choose how we deal with our messages, and don’t need men telling us what to do.

We all are here for pretty much the same thing x"

Everyone is here for their own reasons as for your comment further up about them being solicited messages because the women are on here in the first place just wow!

Every thought you aren't what they are looking for? Do you read profiles?

I don't open a lot of my messages for the simple fact, I can't be bothered. If people message me and get butt hurt about being ignored it's kinda tough.

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By *ydrewMan
over a year ago

forest

I only discovered my out box wasn't yellow after all

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Because, whoever you messaged isn't interested in any interaction with you

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By *urplechesterCouple
over a year ago

chester

I’d say 50% of ours go unread, i tend to delete them after two weeks if they’ve been online and haven’t read it! Just another way of letting us know they’re not interested, so delete and move on

Miss pc

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By *orksRockerMan
over a year ago

Bradford

"Hi, why almost half of the messages I’ve sent not even read? "

Because you are not the be all and end all..... And the ladies here get 100's It's not rocket science

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some messages I don't read as don't have time, can't be bothered answering them the same question or just forget. Someone I want to talk with will get answered.

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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

"Hi, why almost half of the messages I’ve sent not even read? "

Could be they might have glanced at your profile and couldn't find anything that would interest them but also your message could be lost among the pile that most women receive. Just be patient might be something that you're doing wrong

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ah I too am often surprised how often women cant seem to figure out that I am literally sent to earth by the Lord as a gift to them and that they ought to give praise unto him for my very existence. Their loss I suppose

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By *eroLondonMan
over a year ago

Covent Garden

"Hi, why almost half of the messages I’ve sent not even read? cause women are cunts

•

I don't think a smiley emoticon after that acerbic remark is going is absolve you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hi, why almost half of the messages I’ve sent not even read? cause women are cunts

•

I don't think a smiley emoticon after that acerbic remark is going is absolve you.

But it’s saaaarcasm innit? That removes any original meaning obv

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hi, why almost half of the messages I’ve sent not even read? cause women are cunts

Only if you deserve to be treated bad heh.

On that note..that probably got you blocked by good chunk of the forum female population.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think women should make an effort just to delete the message even if she doesn’t read it

I think women will do what they want with lots of unsolicited messages. And you don't get to tell them how to manage their messages. That's entitled.

As long as they have a profile here I think they are solicited messages

And I'm entitled to think you're a ...I think it's pretty obvious what. I suspect many reading this thread will think the same.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think women should make an effort just to delete the message even if she doesn’t read it

I think women will do what they want with lots of unsolicited messages. And you don't get to tell them how to manage their messages. That's entitled.

As long as they have a profile here I think they are solicited messages

And I'm entitled to think you're a ...I think it's pretty obvious what. I suspect many reading this thread will think the same. "

I have a letterbox, doesn’t mean the pizza place is entitled to post their flyer through it, when I don’t like pizza.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think women should make an effort just to delete the message even if she doesn’t read it

I think women will do what they want with lots of unsolicited messages. And you don't get to tell them how to manage their messages. That's entitled.

As long as they have a profile here I think they are solicited messages

And I'm entitled to think you're a ...I think it's pretty obvious what. I suspect many reading this thread will think the same.

I have a letterbox, doesn’t mean the pizza place is entitled to post their flyer through it, when I don’t like pizza."

He probably thinks your box is public property

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think women should make an effort just to delete the message even if she doesn’t read it

I think women will do what they want with lots of unsolicited messages. And you don't get to tell them how to manage their messages. That's entitled.

As long as they have a profile here I think they are solicited messages

And I'm entitled to think you're a ...I think it's pretty obvious what. I suspect many reading this thread will think the same.

I have a letterbox, doesn’t mean the pizza place is entitled to post their flyer through it, when I don’t like pizza.

He probably thinks your box is public property

My actual box

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think women should make an effort just to delete the message even if she doesn’t read it

I think women will do what they want with lots of unsolicited messages. And you don't get to tell them how to manage their messages. That's entitled.

As long as they have a profile here I think they are solicited messages

And I'm entitled to think you're a ...I think it's pretty obvious what. I suspect many reading this thread will think the same.

I have a letterbox, doesn’t mean the pizza place is entitled to post their flyer through it, when I don’t like pizza.

He probably thinks your box is public property

My actual box

Some men seem to think women are public property and owe them responses. And sex.

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By *hunderace...Man
over a year ago

Dudley

I've friends that recieve 100's of messages a day, they'd have to hire a PA if they had to reply to them all...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think women should make an effort just to delete the message even if she doesn’t read it

I think women will do what they want with lots of unsolicited messages. And you don't get to tell them how to manage their messages. That's entitled.

As long as they have a profile here I think they are solicited messages

And I'm entitled to think you're a ...I think it's pretty obvious what. I suspect many reading this thread will think the same.

I have a letterbox, doesn’t mean the pizza place is entitled to post their flyer through it, when I don’t like pizza.

He probably thinks your box is public property

My actual box

Some men seem to think women are public property and owe them responses. And sex.

Anyone would think we had our own minds and desires. The fucking AUDACITY of these women

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By *esthetic21Man
over a year ago

Birmingham/Bristol

"Hi, why almost half of the messages I’ve sent not even read? cause women are cunts

•

I don't think a smiley emoticon after that acerbic remark is going is absolve you.

But it’s saaaarcasm innit? That removes any original meaning obv "
take from it what you will like i said it was sarcasm you chose to be offended. And you can always just block me if you think I thinknwomen are cunts. But you can't block me from the forum

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think women should make an effort just to delete the message even if she doesn’t read it

I think women will do what they want with lots of unsolicited messages. And you don't get to tell them how to manage their messages. That's entitled.

As long as they have a profile here I think they are solicited messages

And I'm entitled to think you're a ...I think it's pretty obvious what. I suspect many reading this thread will think the same.

I have a letterbox, doesn’t mean the pizza place is entitled to post their flyer through it, when I don’t like pizza.

He probably thinks your box is public property

My actual box

Some men seem to think women are public property and owe them responses. And sex.

Anyone would think we had our own minds and desires. The fucking AUDACITY of these women

Annoying sluts, that's us.

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By *esthetic21Man
over a year ago

Birmingham/Bristol

"Hi, why almost half of the messages I’ve sent not even read? cause women are cunts

•

I don't think a smiley emoticon after that acerbic remark is going is absolve you.

"
lol as stated I have no need to appease anyone on the forums I said it so be offended or take it as joke your choice

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hi, why almost half of the messages I’ve sent not even read? cause women are cunts

•

I don't think a smiley emoticon after that acerbic remark is going is absolve you.

But it’s saaaarcasm innit? That removes any original meaning obv take from it what you will like i said it was sarcasm you chose to be offended. And you can always just block me if you think I thinknwomen are cunts. But you can't block me from the forum

Given the topic, your comment was pretty tone deaf. And your responses kinda say more than your original comment. Up to you if you want to go this way.'

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By *esthetic21Man
over a year ago

Birmingham/Bristol

Go what way exactly? By not retracting my sarcasm? OK

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Word of advice. I used to do this. I sent messages to some profiles and checked regularly to see if they read them are not. But after a point, I realised that it doesn't make sense. All that matters is whether they reply or not.

The only time I open my Sent Messages folder these days is for an occasional clean-up.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Go what way exactly? By not retracting my sarcasm? OK

I didn't say that? But you're being pretty bullish about it when you made a daft comment on an even dafter thread. It's a topic that surely you know tends to get women riled up?

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By *G CoupleCouple
over a year ago

kent

"I think women should make an effort just to delete the message even if she doesn’t read it "

You could make the effort and delete it from your Sent list.

Makes more sense

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By *hubby CoupleCouple
over a year ago

Essex

We have noticed some ladies read and then click unread on some of ours, some bulk delete without reading, but it’s their profile and their rules.

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By *esthetic21Man
over a year ago

Birmingham/Bristol

"Go what way exactly? By not retracting my sarcasm? OK

I didn't say that? But you're being pretty bullish about it when you made a daft comment on an even dafter thread. It's a topic that surely you know tends to get women riled up?"
yea I agree but i was actually joking and all I've done is defended myself from getting attacked by multiple people in the post. Also may I add not once have I been rude or insulted anyone. If a women said all men are cunts it would be laughed off but not me I get 8t from all angles but It's ok because I'm actually laughing about it. The usual suspects

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hi, why almost half of the messages I’ve sent not even read? cause women are cunts

•

I don't think a smiley emoticon after that acerbic remark is going is absolve you.

Honestly, I wouldn’t even put that much energy into it.

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By *esthetic21Man
over a year ago

Birmingham/Bristol

"Hi, why almost half of the messages I’ve sent not even read? cause women are cunts

•

I don't think a smiley emoticon after that acerbic remark is going is absolve you.

Honestly, I wouldn’t even put that much energy into it. "
you started it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Go what way exactly? By not retracting my sarcasm? OK

I didn't say that? But you're being pretty bullish about it when you made a daft comment on an even dafter thread. It's a topic that surely you know tends to get women riled up?yea I agree but i was actually joking and all I've done is defended myself from getting attacked by multiple people in the post. Also may I add not once have I been rude or insulted anyone. If a women said all men are cunts it would be laughed off but not me I get 8t from all angles but It's ok because I'm actually laughing about it. The usual suspects"

I wasn’t offended, and I didn’t attack you.

I was surprised at your response, but that’s all the emotion I could muster.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Lots of reasons they get to many u to far away not age range dont like the look of first few words eg come sit on my face x

At least should make an effort and really I think? "

Most want manners when staying their long list of do’s and dont’s, but somehow never return the manners.

That or they think they’re above replying to you.

A lot of people on here have an alter ego that they would never practice im a real life situation.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have no excuse, half the time I just can't be bothered."

This made me smile

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By *uriousscouserWoman
over a year ago

Wirral

"Ah I too am often surprised how often women cant seem to figure out that I am literally sent to earth by the Lord as a gift to them and that they ought to give praise unto him for my very existence. Their loss I suppose"

I think I might

you.

Thanks for the laugh, it made me cough quite a bit as I was drinking when I read it, and now the woman on the next table to me keeps giving me suspicious looks.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Go what way exactly? By not retracting my sarcasm? OK

I've no idea what the usual suspects means. But you assume people will have known you were being sarky. No-one attacked you but you got some push back. As I say, it's up to you if you want to keep on digging in but it's not making you look good.

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By *isfits behaving badlyCouple
over a year ago

Coventry

To be fair a lot of our messages can go unread for ages (freinds and strangers alike). We generally like to do the messages together but our free time together is limited so we don't always have the time or inclination to sort the inbox.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Lots of reasons they get to many u to far away not age range dont like the look of first few words eg come sit on my face x

At least should make an effort and really I think?

Most want manners when staying their long list of do’s and dont’s, but somehow never return the manners.

That or they think they’re above replying to you.

A lot of people on here have an alter ego that they would never practice im a real life situation. "

Have you even read the comments on the thread from women? I don't think so, you've rushed in to have a go at us. Men like you think you're the only man sending messages.

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By *esthetic21Man
over a year ago

Birmingham/Bristol

But why do I need to make myself look good exactly? To gain what? Popularity on the forum? Yea great

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"But why do I need to make myself look good exactly? To gain what? Popularity on the forum? Yea great

Well for myself - I don't want people to think I'm a cunt. Because I'm not. Popularity isn't important.

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By *imi_RougeWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

This. I'm never inundated, I will usually read and delete. Unless I can see it's graphic/sweary. Then it's a straight delete.

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By *esthetic21Man
over a year ago

Birmingham/Bristol

"Go what way exactly? By not retracting my sarcasm? OK

I wasn’t offended, and I didn’t attack you.

I was surprised at your response, but that’s all the emotion I could muster. "
ok you didn't attack me as such but you made out like I wasn't joking and I actually think women are cunts. Why? To make me look bad when i was having a banter but then all the white knights came out like usual

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By *esthetic21Man
over a year ago

Birmingham/Bristol

It's nothing new anyway everytime I use the forum I never fit in with the clique and that's fine by me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Go what way exactly? By not retracting my sarcasm? OK

I wasn’t offended, and I didn’t attack you.

I was surprised at your response, but that’s all the emotion I could muster. ok you didn't attack me as such but you made out like I wasn't joking and I actually think women are cunts. Why? To make me look bad when i was having a banter but then all the white knights came out like usual"

Course I did. That was my intention, to make you look bad

I questioned your response, I was curious……

And banter is code for, I can be rude, but it’s just ‘banter’

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By *revaunanceCouple
over a year ago

Exeter

"Hi, why almost half of the messages I’ve sent not even read? "

There are a multitude of reasons.

- They've looked at your profile and decided it's a no straight away.

- They are a couple and are waiting until both are able to read the message.

- They have read the first line in their inbox and have made their mind up already.

- They just haven't got around to doing the admin yet, sometimes it can take hours!

- Their inbox is full and so the older messages are pushed off the screen by newer ones, and won't be seen until the inbox becomes a lot less full.

- They have already made a judgement that you do not meet their profile and therefore they aren't interested.

- They have asked for pics to be attached and can see you haven't.

- They have asked on their profile for a codeword to be used as the subject line and you haven't.

- Etc, etc, etc....

You will drive yourself mad trying to work out the motivations of others, so once you send your message delete it from your sent items and only concern yourself with the people that contact/reply to you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's nothing new anyway everytime I use the forum I never fit in with the clique and that's fine by me

You're quite gently being told that it was a crap comment. But digging a hole for yourself. Just leave it. Walk away. There's no clique.

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By *esthetic21Man
over a year ago

Birmingham/Bristol

"Go what way exactly? By not retracting my sarcasm? OK

I wasn’t offended, and I didn’t attack you.

Course I did. That was my intention, to make you look bad

I questioned your response, I was curious……

And banter is code for, I can be rude, but it’s just ‘banter’"
i wasnt even rude I said the statement to which you said really then I said it was sarcasm then you said sure then I said sure. What you could have said was no all men are cunts we could have had a laugh about but we obviously don't have the same sense of humour. Look at my posts on here and see where I'm rude to people? No doubt there's hundred of posts on here where woman states all men are cunts jokingly and no one bats an eyelid

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wait, I'm a cunt and I read my messages. Am I cunting wrong? I'm gonna go back to being a twat. I knew where is stood there.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Wait, I'm a cunt and I read my messages. Am I cunting wrong? I'm gonna go back to being a twat. I knew where is stood there.

Apparently there's a course you can take where they give certificates when you're a fully qualified cunt. I've remained at twat level for some time now.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Wait, I'm a cunt and I read my messages. Am I cunting wrong? I'm gonna go back to being a twat. I knew where is stood there.

Apparently there's a course you can take where they give certificates when you're a fully qualified cunt. I've remained at twat level for some time now. "

Jeez it's not difficult to make it to cunt!! Try harder

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Wait, I'm a cunt and I read my messages. Am I cunting wrong? I'm gonna go back to being a twat. I knew where is stood there.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Wait, I'm a cunt and I read my messages. Am I cunting wrong? I'm gonna go back to being a twat. I knew where is stood there.

Apparently there's a course you can take where they give certificates when you're a fully qualified cunt. I've remained at twat level for some time now.

Jeez it's not difficult to make it to cunt!! Try harder

It’s just continual disappointment on here

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By *hubby CoupleCouple
over a year ago

Essex

This threads getting spicy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Wait, I'm a cunt and I read my messages. Am I cunting wrong? I'm gonna go back to being a twat. I knew where is stood there.

Apparently there's a course you can take where they give certificates when you're a fully qualified cunt. I've remained at twat level for some time now.

Jeez it's not difficult to make it to cunt!! Try harder

It’s just continual disappointment on here

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By *ynda1978Woman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Liverpool

"Lots of reasons they get to many u to far away not age range dont like the look of first few words eg come sit on my face x"

I got a message today starting Hi but then come sit on my face! Instant block.

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By *aunchy RaccoonsCouple
over a year ago

Exeter

Ladies and couples get a lot of messages and we'd say your profile just doesn't have anything on it to compete with the billion other single guys on here.

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By *m3232Man
over a year ago

maidenhead

"Hi, why almost half of the messages I’ve sent not even read? "

Message hunters that’s all they are. Don’t like delete why save the which is the same as unread.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hi, why almost half of the messages I’ve sent not even read?

Message hunters that’s all they are. Don’t like delete why save the which is the same as unread. "

I don’t understand this?

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By *ablo minibar123Woman
over a year ago

"I think women should make an effort just to delete the message even if she doesn’t read it "

If she deletes you'd only get some forum thread complaining about women who delete messages without reading. Whatever we do with messages someone's going to complain about it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think women should make an effort just to delete the message even if she doesn’t read it

If she deletes you'd only get some forum thread complaining about women who delete messages without reading. Whatever we do with messages someone's going to complain about it

Men are going to complain about it.

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By *hil most chillMan
over a year ago

South East & Europe

Women have hundreds of messages; they probably haven't even seen yours

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Only half? Wow, I'd consider half of my messages being read a win!..

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By *m3232Man
over a year ago

maidenhead

"Hi, why almost half of the messages I’ve sent not even read?

Message hunters that’s all they are. Don’t like delete why save the which is the same as unread.

I don’t understand this?"

No intention of meeting getting a buzz from the amount that message them.

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By *eroLondonMan
over a year ago

Covent Garden

"Hi, why almost half of the messages I’ve sent not even read?

Message hunters that’s all they are. Don’t like delete why save the which is the same as unread. "

•

You sound like Yoda.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hi, why almost half of the messages I’ve sent not even read?

Message hunters that’s all they are. Don’t like delete why save the which is the same as unread.

I don’t understand this?

No intention of meeting getting a buzz from the amount that message them. "

Oh god yes!! I almost came earlier when a guy said I had nice tits when was I free. It's hugely exciting getting dozens of emails a week from faceless men saying How are u. I mean who needs a wand when you've got wankers in your inbox!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hi, why almost half of the messages I’ve sent not even read?

Message hunters that’s all they are. Don’t like delete why save the which is the same as unread.

I don’t understand this?

No intention of meeting getting a buzz from the amount that message them.

It’s sooo addictive!

Better than sex

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By *m3232Man
over a year ago

maidenhead

"Hi, why almost half of the messages I’ve sent not even read?

Message hunters that’s all they are. Don’t like delete why save the which is the same as unread.

I don’t understand this?

No intention of meeting getting a buzz from the amount that message them.

Did you delete them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wonder if a) everyone replies to spam mail they get everyday in their gmail and b) if they delete every one ?

I can't keep on top so just read the ones I want to

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By *inkyInkedBiWoman
over a year ago

"Hi, why almost half of the messages I’ve sent not even read?

Message hunters that’s all they are. Don’t like delete why save the which is the same as unread.

I don’t understand this?

No intention of meeting getting a buzz from the amount that message them. "

Women can still have the intention of meeting and not reply to people

I often read and unread as if I leave on unread I get abuse!

Reply no, get why not? Too good for me are you?

Don’t reply - abuse or 15 of the same message follow

We can’t win

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By *inkyInkedBiWoman
over a year ago

"Hi, why almost half of the messages I’ve sent not even read?

Message hunters that’s all they are. Don’t like delete why save the which is the same as unread.

I don’t understand this?

No intention of meeting getting a buzz from the amount that message them.

Women can still have the intention of meeting and not reply to people

I often read and unread as if I leave on unread I get abuse!

Reply no, get why not? Too good for me are you?

Don’t reply - abuse or 15 of the same message follow

We can’t win "

*if I leave on read

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hi, why almost half of the messages I’ve sent not even read?

Message hunters that’s all they are. Don’t like delete why save the which is the same as unread.

I don’t understand this?

No intention of meeting getting a buzz from the amount that message them.

Women can still have the intention of meeting and not reply to people

I often read and unread as if I leave on unread I get abuse!

Reply no, get why not? Too good for me are you?

Don’t reply - abuse or 15 of the same message follow

We can’t win "

Of course not. The men know best!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It states very clearly on my profile then I'm not meeting. Yet I get a ridiculous amounts of 'meet now' type of messages. That shows me that the person has not bothered to read even the top 3 lines of my profile. If they can't be bothered to do that then I can't be bothered to answer their message

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By *m3232Man
over a year ago

maidenhead

"Hi, why almost half of the messages I’ve sent not even read?

Message hunters that’s all they are. Don’t like delete why save the which is the same as unread.

I don’t understand this?

No intention of meeting getting a buzz from the amount that message them.

Women can still have the intention of meeting and not reply to people

I often read and unread as if I leave on unread I get abuse!

Reply no, get why not? Too good for me are you?

Don’t reply - abuse or 15 of the same message follow

We can’t win "

If you don’t like it’s simple delete and block then no abuse back from the type of clown that would abuse.

Myself that’s the way to do it and it stops any reply.

My block list is large as it also stops me forgetting and seeing them again and sending a message saying hello.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd love to swap places for a day with a woman on here just to see the shite they get sent.

In truth I think I could do about one day, max.

Now imagine that scenario day in, day out. Sounds exhausting

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By *m3232Man
over a year ago

maidenhead

"I'd love to swap places for a day with a woman on here just to see the shite they get sent.

In truth I think I could do about one day, max.

Now imagine that scenario day in, day out. Sounds exhausting"

It’s bad enough being a guy on here lol. Dick picks and arse picks are bad enough. Block and move on is easy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yeh I get this!

This also really pisses me off after I go to the time effort of writing a message!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yeh I get this!

This also really pisses me off after I go to the time effort of writing a message!

It really pisses women off, being expected to reply to unsolicited messages.

No one will ever win this battle.

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By *m3232Man
over a year ago

maidenhead

"Yeh I get this!

This also really pisses me off after I go to the time effort of writing a message!

It really pisses women off, being expected to reply to unsolicited messages.

No one will ever win this battle. "

I don’t get this one unsolicited works both ways lol. How are you expecting to meet people lol.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Most people just aren't compatible with most other people, so the majority of messages will come from those who aren't matched with the recipients.

Many loom at the profile of the sender, when they get a message, so if it's really good and helps them to feel you could be a match, they'll read the message. Some mark some messages as unread, to give them attention later on.

Doing message admin is a long, laborious job, so it's worth having realistic expectations and not thinking all will be quickly read and replied to.

Cast your net widely, once you have sent to someone, move on to the next. If your profile gives others a clear view of you, your physical attributes and what you offer, then a profile will sell the person, with the message giving the nudge for others to check you out.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yeh I get this!

This also really pisses me off after I go to the time effort of writing a message!

It really pisses women off, being expected to reply to unsolicited messages.

No one will ever win this battle. "

Yes I get that.

But simply read it and mark as deleted if not interested.

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By *G CoupleCouple
over a year ago

kent

Just delete your sent items

Nothing to get pissed off about then as you don't know

If you get a reply, that's all that matters isn't it?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yeh I get this!

This also really pisses me off after I go to the time effort of writing a message!

It really pisses women off, being expected to reply to unsolicited messages.

No one will ever win this battle.

Yes I get that.

But simply read it and mark as deleted if not interested.

No you're not getting it. If someone has 50 new messages and spends a minute deciding whether to reply and then deleting if not that's 50 minutes a day. You don't get to tell women how to manage their time or their messages.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'd love to swap places for a day with a woman on here just to see the shite they get sent.

In truth I think I could do about one day, max.

Now imagine that scenario day in, day out. Sounds exhausting"

Thank you to trying to see it from the other side. I try really hard to be polite but often it just means more crap and takes up time I'd rather spend doing something else.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yeh I get this!

This also really pisses me off after I go to the time effort of writing a message!

It really pisses women off, being expected to reply to unsolicited messages.

No one will ever win this battle.

Yes I get that.

But simply read it and mark as deleted if not interested.

I can tell you are not the type of person that I’m going to win against!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yeh I get this!

This also really pisses me off after I go to the time effort of writing a message!

It really pisses women off, being expected to reply to unsolicited messages.

No one will ever win this battle.

Yes I get that.

But simply read it and mark as deleted if not interested.

I can tell you are not the type of person that I’m going to win against!

I'm stubborn that way!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yeh I get this!

This also really pisses me off after I go to the time effort of writing a message!

It really pisses women off, being expected to reply to unsolicited messages.

No one will ever win this battle.

Yes I get that.

But simply read it and mark as deleted if not interested.

I can tell you are not the type of person that I’m going to win against!

I'm stubborn that way! "

Do you fancy chatting privately I like it!

I will message you

(Jokes)

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

One line messages can be read without opening so it may have been read.

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By *otMe66Man
over a year ago

Terra Firma

Someone asks a genuine question and it turns ugly very quickly. It must put a lot of people off asking a question in the forums

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Someone asks a genuine question and it turns ugly very quickly. It must put a lot of people off asking a question in the forums

It was answered politely by a number of people explaining why women don't largely reply to messages. That wasn't enough for the OP or others. I've just received a message from a man calling me ignorant and castigating me for the way I manage my own inbox. Yes, I'd agree it's got ugly.

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By *otMe66Man
over a year ago

Terra Firma

"Someone asks a genuine question and it turns ugly very quickly. It must put a lot of people off asking a question in the forums

My point was how something so simple turns so sour so quickly, that it must put a lot of people off asking a question.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Someone asks a genuine question and it turns ugly very quickly. It must put a lot of people off asking a question in the forums

"
I'd see it as someone called all women cunts (even if it was meant as a joke) and it set a tone.

The biggest challenge is listening to answers. The thread answered the question, no? It's just some said, I've heard your answer, and you are wrong to take the approach you take.

That response (which some may call ugly) then kicks off a whole new tone.

(I do note you aren't putting the blame at anyone's door, just making an observation. I'm seeking to draw out the reasons)

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By *otMe66Man
over a year ago

Terra Firma

"Someone asks a genuine question and it turns ugly very quickly. It must put a lot of people off asking a question in the forums

I'd see it as someone called all women cunts (even if it was meant as a joke) and it set a tone.

The biggest challenge is listening to answers. The thread answered the question, no? It's just some said, I've heard your answer, and you are wrong to take the approach you take.

That response (which some may call ugly) then kicks off a whole new tone.

(I do note you aren't putting the blame at anyone's door, just making an observation. I'm seeking to draw out the reasons)"

The reason for my comment is it must put people off asking a genuine question on the forums because of the way posts like these fall apart so quickly when it really doesn't need to.

This type of question gets asked so regularly that it surprises me it even gets a reply, but a lot of the time the thread descends into a mess and that confuses me even more.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Someone asks a genuine question and it turns ugly very quickly. It must put a lot of people off asking a question in the forums

I'd see it as someone called all women cunts (even if it was meant as a joke) and it set a tone.

The biggest challenge is listening to answers. The thread answered the question, no? It's just some said, I've heard your answer, and you are wrong to take the approach you take.

That response (which some may call ugly) then kicks off a whole new tone.

(I do note you aren't putting the blame at anyone's door, just making an observation. I'm seeking to draw out the reasons)

The reason for my comment is it must put people off asking a genuine question on the forums because of the way posts like these fall apart so quickly when it really doesn't need to.

This type of question gets asked so regularly that it surprises me it even gets a reply, but a lot of the time the thread descends into a mess and that confuses me even more. "

My summary is :.

Everyone can handle their inbox in whatever way works for them. There's no right or wrong, rude or polite.

Don't write a long message and think you deserve a reply. That's shitty nice guy behaviour. Do it because your smart enough to realise 99pc if message are shit one liners and a longer message may help stand out.

Asking questions is good. Learning from the answers is better. Telling someone they are wrong about their choices will get you blocked.

And finally

All women are cu.... te.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Someone asks a genuine question and it turns ugly very quickly. It must put a lot of people off asking a question in the forums

I'd see it as someone called all women cunts (even if it was meant as a joke) and it set a tone.

The biggest challenge is listening to answers. The thread answered the question, no? It's just some said, I've heard your answer, and you are wrong to take the approach you take.

That response (which some may call ugly) then kicks off a whole new tone.

(I do note you aren't putting the blame at anyone's door, just making an observation. I'm seeking to draw out the reasons)

The reason for my comment is it must put people off asking a genuine question on the forums because of the way posts like these fall apart so quickly when it really doesn't need to.

This type of question gets asked so regularly that it surprises me it even gets a reply, but a lot of the time the thread descends into a mess and that confuses me even more. "

I think women feel attacked by this constant criticism of the way we handle messages. It's quite a sore point. I think the same happens when men feel attacked because all single men are lumped together as one and criticised. They're flash points. I won't deny it pushes my buttons sometimes. As a recent newbie to the Forum myself, I just watched and learned for a while before I started a thread. Didn't put me off.

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By *inkyInkedBiWoman
over a year ago

"Hi, why almost half of the messages I’ve sent not even read?

Message hunters that’s all they are. Don’t like delete why save the which is the same as unread.

I don’t understand this?

No intention of meeting getting a buzz from the amount that message them.

Women can still have the intention of meeting and not reply to people

I often read and unread as if I leave on unread I get abuse!

Reply no, get why not? Too good for me are you?

Don’t reply - abuse or 15 of the same message follow

We can’t win

If you don’t like it’s simple delete and block then no abuse back from the type of clown that would abuse.

Myself that’s the way to do it and it stops any reply.

My block list is large as it also stops me forgetting and seeing them again and sending a message saying hello. "

….and I’m supposed to be able to differentiate between who’s a clown and who’s not?

Say I put a new picture up I get a lot of messages. Why should I spend my time going through them to delete block, delete block, delete block.

I spend my time on here how I choose, not how others want me to.

Best option as others have suggested is to just delete your sent messages, that way you’re not checking to see if it’s been read.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hi, why almost half of the messages I’ve sent not even read?

Message hunters that’s all they are. Don’t like delete why save the which is the same as unread.

I don’t understand this?

No intention of meeting getting a buzz from the amount that message them.

Women can still have the intention of meeting and not reply to people

I often read and unread as if I leave on unread I get abuse!

Reply no, get why not? Too good for me are you?

Don’t reply - abuse or 15 of the same message follow

We can’t win

If you don’t like it’s simple delete and block then no abuse back from the type of clown that would abuse.

Myself that’s the way to do it and it stops any reply.

My block list is large as it also stops me forgetting and seeing them again and sending a message saying hello.

….and I’m supposed to be able to differentiate between who’s a clown and who’s not?

Say I put a new picture up I get a lot of messages. Why should I spend my time going through them to delete block, delete block, delete block.

I spend my time on here how I choose, not how others want me to.

Best option as others have suggested is to just delete your sent messages, that way you’re not checking to see if it’s been read. "

Yes! We spend our time how we choose, NOT being a ‘good girl’ and doing what the men think we should do!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

She's not a good girl. ^

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"She's not a good girl. ^"

Sometimes I am

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By *den-Valley-coupleCouple
over a year ago

Cumbria

"I think women should make an effort just to delete the message even if she doesn’t read it

It would definitely make it clearer

I personally just block whoever deletes my message as that’s a clear “not interested”, so there’s no point having them on my search results

But unopened? Did you read it and mark it as unread? Did you just miss it in a sea of other messages? Could we be the perfect match you just didn’t see, or should I assume unread = uninterested and block? It’s tough

Exactly

Confused. Com"

Ok, why not try YOU delete a message after sending then problem solved you're sending the message so the way we see they owe you nothing.

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By *ason8733Man
over a year ago

Medway

Hi, why almost half of the messages I’ve sent not even read?

Have the same thing it is what it is mate

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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago

It’s all quite simple really. You choose to message who you want but the recipient didn’t request your message.

Therefore, no response is a response. If they wanted to, they would

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It’s all quite simple really. You choose to message who you want but the recipient didn’t request your message.

Therefore, no response is a response. If they wanted to, they would

Perfectly put!

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By *yclindaveMan
over a year ago

Leicester

"It’s all quite simple really. You choose to message who you want but the recipient didn’t request your message.

Therefore, no response is a response. If they wanted to, they would

This a million times this!

Bulk delete all of your sent messages, and don't obsess over them being opened, unopened, deleted or otherwise if it bothers you that much.

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By *uy4swingingMan
over a year ago

Gloucestershire

Does it really matter if they read it or not. It probably means they are not interested or have moved on.

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