FabSwingers.com forum: A woman to write next Three James Bond books,What will change ?

By *ryan... OP Man
over a year ago

1950's Original

Kim Sherwood is to write the next Three James Bond books

What will the storylines be .

To start with, James Bond won't be in them.

I think Scaramange will be the head of an evil conglomerate of Tupperware ladies..

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By *ryan... OP Man
over a year ago

1950's Original

Diamonds are for Heather

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

Live and let live

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

The Spy who Ghosted me

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

From Marks & Spencer, With Love

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By *ightkitty4uWoman
over a year ago

Epsom

Bond and Q staring at the washing machine all confused on how to work it… yet in background they are working on some high tech gizmo which makes the perfect martini ??

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By *heDesiCandiTV/TS
over a year ago

Leicester

Golddick

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By *olden RatioWoman
over a year ago

Buckinghamshire

"Live and let live

Live and laugh and love...

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

As far as I can tell they've all followed the same pattern until now ie James gets into a sticky situation, with the aid of various gadgets and beautiful women he saves the world, the end. I guess they will either follow that pattern or they won't.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The Aston Martin will be traded in for a Toyota Prius.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"From Marks & Spencer, With Love"

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

On Royal Mail’s Special Delivery Service

Because all the ladies like a reliable delivery. Don’t we ladies

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By *ostafunMan
over a year ago

near ipswich

cocktopussy.

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

"Live and let live

Live and laugh and love...

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

PenisGalore

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"On Royal Mail’s Special Delivery Service

Because all the ladies like a reliable delivery. Don’t we ladies

You're on fire this morning La Luna!

And indeed we do

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

"On Royal Mail’s Special Delivery Service

Because all the ladies like a reliable delivery. Don’t we ladies

You're on fire this morning La Luna!

And indeed we do

I’m enjoying this thread far too much

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By *aiseiMan
over a year ago

Birmingham

Bond and the standard beautiful woman meet in a plush hotel bar. Their early exchanges are barbed, but Bond’s charm begins to win her over and it’s clear what going to happen.

They retire to Bond’s suite, the most expensive in the hotel, at which point he pops off her heels and gives her a nice foot rub. Bond makes her a nice cup of tea, which she drinks whilst he runs the bath for her.

Once she’s out of the bath, they sit on the bed. Bond fires up the Sky box, turns to TCM and as luck would have it, ‘Dirty Dancing’ has just started, which they watch until falling asleep.

In the morning, Bond orders breakfast to the room after which they both have nice separate showers, get ready and then quickly nip to Matalan as Bond Girl needs ‘a couple of cheap vest tops for around the house’.

They stop off at nice Costa on the way back, as it’s on the edge of a really pretty park. Thankfully no one has been shot, no speed limits were exceeded and nothing exploded. Somewhere a villain does something, but no-one cares.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bond gets found tied face down with a ball gag in his mouth with whip marks and bruises all over his body and his tiny cock locked up in a cage . Never will we take him seriously as a tough guy again . Next scene bond in a maids outfit making M his tea while the new tough female bond eyes him up

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By *elvet RopeMan
over a year ago

by the big field

Bond must stop SPECTRE from stealing the new Christian Louboutin range ahead of fashion week, while still taking care of his Pomeranian that he keeps in his man bag

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By *yron69Man
over a year ago

Fareham

Bond offers counselling to his evil enemies.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

No Time to Diet

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By *yron69Man
over a year ago

Fareham

Dr I said NO!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Chicken Royale

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By *heDesiCandiTV/TS
over a year ago

Leicester

"Chicken Royale"

I am hungry now

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bond just goes around opening the jars of yumms that beautiful women can't open (I.e me) then he gets in all sorts of pickles trying to get to me, can he reach me in time before I starve

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There will be a scene called 'does my bum look big in this' can Bond cheat death.

And the bad guy has left the bomb on the side, can Bond work out where 'on the side is'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Chicken Royale"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When Blofled asks Jane Bond what is the matter, she sips her martini and says absolute nothing?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In a scene from live and let die M is explaining how to use a micro computer attached to a processor that has two cameras attached.

A bemused Jane Bond puts the device into her Armani handbag and says whatever!

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By *ryan... OP Man
over a year ago

1950's Original

The spy who shoved me

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By *2000ManMan
over a year ago

Worthing

Bond gets turned down or ghosted by all the women.

His shoes and shirt did not go together.

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By *ryan... OP Man
over a year ago

1950's Original

OMG Daniel Craig have just come into my cocktail bar and ordered a dry martini.....

I'm literally shaking now

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By *ayjay218Man
over a year ago

Aberdeen

The living highlights

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By *ayjay218Man
over a year ago

Aberdeen

License to spend

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

On Milk Trays Secret service... because the lady loves milk tray

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By *agneto.Man
over a year ago

Bham

I just hope Bond doesn't have to reverse out of a tight spot during a car chase.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

'Do you expect me to talk?'

'No Mr Bond, I expect you to do the dishes'

'I don't care if you have got to save the World from thermonuclear oblivion, you said you would definitely come with me to mothers this weekend.'

'Q'-Ah, Bond, your Walther PPK has been withdrawn. Now you will deal with a lethal threat with 'Can't we just talk about this?'

If I see you anywhere near that bitch Moneypenny, O O and 7 are coming off!

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

Keep them coming

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By *ryan... OP Man
over a year ago

1950's Original

A whale playing oo7-

License to crill

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

Never Say Yes again

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Miss Money Penny files a sexual harrassment complaint with HR

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By *uck-RogersMan
over a year ago

Tarka trail

oooh oooh 7 is that all you got.

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By *mily36CWoman
over a year ago

. (or anywhere beginning with B..!?)

"Kim Sherwood is to write the next Three James Bond books

What will the storylines be .

To start with, James Bond won't be in them.

I think Scaramange will be the head of an evil conglomerate of Tupperware ladies..

Hoping for lots of naked butlers in the buff... and/or other suitable eye candy for us girls

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By *ryan... OP Man
over a year ago

1950's Original

"cocktopussy."

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By *partharmonyCouple
over a year ago

Ruislip

Bond breaks into a volcano hideout and enforces a strict mask mandate.

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By *ryan... OP Man
over a year ago

1950's Original

"Keep them coming

That's the new film title

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By *arkSuitedBootedMan
over a year ago

Nottingham City Centre

"The Spy who Ghosted me"

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By *ensuallover1000Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

Fifty Shades Of Bond(age)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Might actually watch the next film then.. Bond is so shit.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bond gets married in book one. The rest get cancelled

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By *ack688Man
over a year ago

abruzzo Italy (and UK)

Definitely the name of the author, and they might actually pass the Bechdel test!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Diet another day

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For our thighs only

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The Penis Is Not Enough

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By *nimaginativeUsernameMan
over a year ago

Rochester, Kent

Tumble Dry Another Day

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Live And Let Bake

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By *oroRick1027Man
over a year ago

Middlesbrough

They might be 007 books but they can't be James Bond books.

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By *enny PR9TV/TS
over a year ago

Southport

Dr No/Yes. Oh I don't know what I mean- I'M ON MY PERIOD, OK.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

It'd be 'Scaraminge' .......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oddjob gives a blowjob

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By *nimaginativeUsernameMan
over a year ago

Rochester, Kent

The Bad Mood is Not Enough

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By *nimaginativeUsernameMan
over a year ago

Rochester, Kent

Or…..The Apology is Not Enough

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By *ools and the brainCouple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

Probably involve James spending his weekends trudging around IKEA or BQ then spending every spare moment doing DIY which will probably be wrong or by the time it's finished she's changed her mind and it's now the wrong colour or her sister now has it the same so it has to be changed....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dunno… but I feel sorry for the alloys on the Aston Martin

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By *htcMan
over a year ago

James bond is on strike, he wants a wage rise, less hours, has a wife and has to do the cleaning.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Goldeneyeliner

Awful..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nothing except the female characters might have a better voice and not be see as an appendage to James Bond.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The spy who made a FAF thread

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By *elvet RopeMan
over a year ago

by the big field

M: Is everything alright Bond?

Bond: Yes- FINE

(slams door)

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