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Pretentious food

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

What food do you think sounds incredibly pretentious (like it’s so basic but people somehow managed to fancy it up) or IS incredible pretentious for what you get for?

Let’s talk charcuterie boards ….and as much as I love them, as I LOOOVE to pick at crackers and cured meats and cheese and figs with all the little pickles and different chutneys , like a Victorian era type bitch….but let’s be honest… it’s just a freaking mixed platter!!

Why call it that way, I can barely pronounce it

Over to you guys! Name food that even the name alone, drive you up the walls

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The only food i find pointless is caviar.

The board you descride is pretty much my lazy go too on a sat night after the pub, crackers, pickles, cheeses, olives, cured meats on a nice slate platter.. ill pick at it all night love it

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

wokingham

Pears

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By *heVonMatterhornsCouple
over a year ago

Lincoln

Anything and everything you use the French name for. The ones that comes to my mind is Dauphinoise potatoes or Foie Gras

K

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *uriousscouserWoman
over a year ago

Wirral

Anything that has "deconstructed" in the description. It's invariably pretentious tosh.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"The only food i find pointless is caviar.

The board you descride is pretty much my lazy go too on a sat night after the pub, crackers, pickles, cheeses, olives, cured meats on a nice slate platter.. ill pick at it all night love it "

I mean I love it too …it’s just the name that grinds me

Also I find it quite sexy to eat with hands only but that’s another story

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *yron69Man
over a year ago

Fareham

Jus jus fucking jus

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Anything they serve you in weird shit like chips in a bucket or food on a chopping board or banana leaves, I demand a plate ffs

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What food do you think sounds incredibly pretentious (like it’s so basic but people somehow managed to fancy it up) or IS incredible pretentious for what you get for?

Let’s talk charcuterie boards ….and as much as I love them, as I LOOOVE to pick at crackers and cured meats and cheese and figs with all the little pickles and different chutneys , like a Victorian era type bitch….but let’s be honest… it’s just a freaking mixed platter!!

Why call it that way, I can barely pronounce it

Over to you guys! Name food that even the name alone, drive you up the walls "

Mange tout.

Love it, but it's an artsy fartsy name.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Anything that has "deconstructed" in the description. It's invariably pretentious tosh."

Deconstructed apple crumble

What about the foam peas

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

Know what u mean! It's like when u get taken out for posh nosh! Tiny little bits in the middle of plate look fancy and sound fancy and cost the earth! Take me to the harvester any day! I enjoy it so much more! X

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Jus jus fucking jus

"

I’m gagging!!!!

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By *ensuallover1000Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…


"Anything and everything you use the French name for. The ones that comes to my mind is Dauphinoise potatoes or Foie Gras

K"

Amen! I watch Masterchef and they’re always at it with the likes on there.

Crème anglaise - it’s just custard!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Prunes

Artichokes

Butter beans

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Foams and airs - basically anything involving liquid nitrogen

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By *ecretlivesCouple
over a year ago

FABWatch HQ

Foam and its teeth clenching counterpart an air

Give me good gravy or give me death

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Anything and everything you use the French name for. The ones that comes to my mind is Dauphinoise potatoes or Foie Gras

K"

Cock au vin?… Non?! Pourqoui, Monsiuer?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Anything and everything you use the French name for. The ones that comes to my mind is Dauphinoise potatoes or Foie Gras

K

Amen! I watch Masterchef and they’re always at it with the likes on there.

Crème anglaise - it’s just custard! "

This is it! Creme anglaise… its just fucking Ambrosia!!!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ny1localMan
over a year ago

READING

French fries...no!they're chips!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT


"Anything and everything you use the French name for. The ones that comes to my mind is Dauphinoise potatoes or Foie Gras

K

Cock in my gob… Non?! Pourqoui, Monsiuer? "

Girl

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *uriousscouserWoman
over a year ago

Wirral


"Anything that has "deconstructed" in the description. It's invariably pretentious tosh.

Deconstructed apple crumble

What about the foam peas "

The last time I was away with work I ended up in a restaurant that was so far up its own arse it was tickling its own tonsils.

I ordered a deconstructed Caesar salad figuring it would have dressing on the side, which I quite like.

Turned out to be one romaine leaf on a piece of toast, with a paper tub of dressing and a paper cup of parmesan shavings.

$27 for lettuce on toast. The fucking audacity!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT


"French fries...no!they're chips! "

No they are French fries

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *estcountryDadBodMan
over a year ago

Exeter

Coulis…. It’s fruity sauce pal

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Anything and everything you use the French name for. The ones that comes to my mind is Dauphinoise potatoes or Foie Gras

K

Cock in my gob… Non?! Pourqoui, Monsiuer?

Girl"

Wenchhhhh

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT


"Anything and everything you use the French name for. The ones that comes to my mind is Dauphinoise potatoes or Foie Gras

K

Cock in my gob… Non?! Pourqoui, Monsiuer?

Girl

Wenchhhhh "

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Anything that has "deconstructed" in the description. It's invariably pretentious tosh.

Deconstructed apple crumble

What about the foam peas

The last time I was away with work I ended up in a restaurant that was so far up its own arse it was tickling its own tonsils.

I ordered a deconstructed Caesar salad figuring it would have dressing on the side, which I quite like.

Turned out to be one romaine leaf on a piece of toast, with a paper tub of dressing and a paper cup of parmesan shavings.

$27 for lettuce on toast. The fucking audacity!"

What the actual fuck…. Literally taking the piss!!!

Bet they laugh in the back when they send that off and wait for your credit card to come through

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ensuallover1000Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…


"Anything that has "deconstructed" in the description. It's invariably pretentious tosh.

Deconstructed apple crumble

What about the foam peas

The last time I was away with work I ended up in a restaurant that was so far up its own arse it was tickling its own tonsils.

I ordered a deconstructed Caesar salad figuring it would have dressing on the side, which I quite like.

Turned out to be one romaine leaf on a piece of toast, with a paper tub of dressing and a paper cup of parmesan shavings.

$27 for lettuce on toast. The fucking audacity!"

Even restaurant critic (and all around saucy looking lady!) Grace Dent expressed her disdain for anything ‘deconstructed’. She said that whenever she hears the much overused term, she is filled with sadness.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *uriousscouserWoman
over a year ago

Wirral


"Anything that has "deconstructed" in the description. It's invariably pretentious tosh.

Deconstructed apple crumble

What about the foam peas

The last time I was away with work I ended up in a restaurant that was so far up its own arse it was tickling its own tonsils.

I ordered a deconstructed Caesar salad figuring it would have dressing on the side, which I quite like.

Turned out to be one romaine leaf on a piece of toast, with a paper tub of dressing and a paper cup of parmesan shavings.

$27 for lettuce on toast. The fucking audacity!

Even restaurant critic (and all around saucy looking lady!) Grace Dent expressed her disdain for anything ‘deconstructed’. She said that whenever she hears the much overused term, she is filled with sadness. "

She's a woman of taste, clearly!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Pears "

What’s wrong with pears?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Anything they serve you in weird shit like chips in a bucket or food on a chopping board or banana leaves, I demand a plate ffs"

Yeah that winds us up. We go to a local place and they serve meat on a skewer which is fine but it’s atop a board with salad and the chips are in a bucket on the board. I just wanna pour it all out and eat it but it ends up on the table/floor and just seems a massive effort.

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By *ltra72Man
over a year ago

edinburgh

Anything that’s wrapped in gold leaf, I want to eat it not wear it ffs

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By *elle xWoman
over a year ago

Doire Theas

I really hate the words tall, grande and venti it’s small, medium and large ffs rant over

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By *uriousscouserWoman
over a year ago

Wirral


"Anything that’s wrapped in gold leaf, I want to eat it not wear it ffs"

I always worry it's going to give that jolt that biting on aluminium foil gives. It never has, but I find the thought really off-putting.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *odgerMooreMan
over a year ago

Carlisle


"Anything that has "deconstructed" in the description. It's invariably pretentious tosh.

Deconstructed apple crumble

What about the foam peas

The last time I was away with work I ended up in a restaurant that was so far up its own arse it was tickling its own tonsils.

I ordered a deconstructed Caesar salad figuring it would have dressing on the side, which I quite like.

Turned out to be one romaine leaf on a piece of toast, with a paper tub of dressing and a paper cup of parmesan shavings.

$27 for lettuce on toast. The fucking audacity!

Even restaurant critic (and all around saucy looking lady!) Grace Dent expressed her disdain for anything ‘deconstructed’. She said that whenever she hears the much overused term, she is filled with sadness.

She's a woman of taste, clearly!"

I can deconstruct an apple pie with a spoon!!!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ensuallover1000Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

Edible flowers as a decorative garnishment.

Again, I’ve seen this a great deal on Masterchef wherein a contestant will make a lovely looking dish and then ruin it by unceremoniously plonking a daisy or something on the top.

#Leave daisies be!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity


"Anything that has "deconstructed" in the description. It's invariably pretentious tosh.

Deconstructed apple crumble

What about the foam peas

The last time I was away with work I ended up in a restaurant that was so far up its own arse it was tickling its own tonsils.

I ordered a deconstructed Caesar salad figuring it would have dressing on the side, which I quite like.

Turned out to be one romaine leaf on a piece of toast, with a paper tub of dressing and a paper cup of parmesan shavings.

$27 for lettuce on toast. The fucking audacity!"

Made me chuckle though haha

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *partharmonyCouple
over a year ago

Ruislip

Pulled pork has always struck me as odd. Why pull it? What good does that do? Hasn't the person who pulls all this pork got anything better to do?

Of course, you could always look at the other meaning of pull, but let's not go there.

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By *ltra72Man
over a year ago

edinburgh


"Anything that’s wrapped in gold leaf, I want to eat it not wear it ffs

I always worry it's going to give that jolt that biting on aluminium foil gives. It never has, but I find the thought really off-putting."

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ack688Man
over a year ago

abruzzo Italy (and UK)


"Anything that has "deconstructed" in the description. It's invariably pretentious tosh."

The IKEA flat pack of restaurant food

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By *ack688Man
over a year ago

abruzzo Italy (and UK)


"Anything and everything you use the French name for. The ones that comes to my mind is Dauphinoise potatoes or Foie Gras

K"

So things like croissants? Brioche? A soufflé? A Niçoise salad?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What food do you think sounds incredibly pretentious (like it’s so basic but people somehow managed to fancy it up) or IS incredible pretentious for what you get for?

Let’s talk charcuterie boards ….and as much as I love them, as I LOOOVE to pick at crackers and cured meats and cheese and figs with all the little pickles and different chutneys , like a Victorian era type bitch….but let’s be honest… it’s just a freaking mixed platter!!

Why call it that way, I can barely pronounce it

Over to you guys! Name food that even the name alone, drive you up the walls

Mange tout.

Love it, but it's an artsy fartsy name."

Monge toot Rodney!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *eacupsbearCouple
over a year ago

York

When I go for breakfast and they put the baked beans in a separate pot!!

No!! Juuuuust no..

B

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ickeyblueeyes7Man
over a year ago

newport

When they say things are pan fried how else are you going to fry things unless you use a frying pan ffs

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By *ily Con CarneTV/TS
over a year ago

Cornwall


"When they say things are pan fried how else are you going to fry things unless you use a frying pan ffs"

Pmsl .. IKR x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"When they say things are pan fried how else are you going to fry things unless you use a frying pan ffs"

Because you can deep fat fry food

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By *estcountryDadBodMan
over a year ago

Exeter


"When they say things are pan fried how else are you going to fry things unless you use a frying pan ffs

Because you can deep fat fry food "

Smart arse

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"When they say things are pan fried how else are you going to fry things unless you use a frying pan ffs

Because you can deep fat fry food

Smart arse "

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I really hate the words tall, grande and venti it’s small, medium and large ffs rant over "

Hahaha can I have VENTI PUMPKIN SPICE LATTE WITH OAT MILK, EXTRA HOT , WITH NO FOAM, AND A DOUBLE ESPRESSO SHOT, USE THE SUMATRA BEANS … to go like NOW!

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds


"When they say things are pan fried how else are you going to fry things unless you use a frying pan ffs"

In a deep fat fryer ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Anything and everything you use the French name for. The ones that comes to my mind is Dauphinoise potatoes or Foie Gras

K

So things like croissants? Brioche? A soufflé? A Niçoise salad? "

OMG pretentious wanker

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"When they say things are pan fried how else are you going to fry things unless you use a frying pan ffs

Because you can deep fat fry food "

You can air fry too

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ily Con CarneTV/TS
over a year ago

Cornwall


"When they say things are pan fried how else are you going to fry things unless you use a frying pan ffs

Because you can deep fat fry food "

Surely, pan-fried is different than that of deep fried ?

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By *ack688Man
over a year ago

abruzzo Italy (and UK)


"Anything and everything you use the French name for. The ones that comes to my mind is Dauphinoise potatoes or Foie Gras

K

So things like croissants? Brioche? A soufflé? A Niçoise salad?

OMG pretentious wanker "

You’re in so much trouble!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *elle xWoman
over a year ago

Doire Theas


"I really hate the words tall, grande and venti it’s small, medium and large ffs rant over

Hahaha can I have VENTI PUMPKIN SPICE LATTE WITH OAT MILK, EXTRA HOT , WITH NO FOAM, AND A DOUBLE ESPRESSO SHOT, USE THE SUMATRA BEANS … to go like NOW!

"

feck ya

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Anything and everything you use the French name for. The ones that comes to my mind is Dauphinoise potatoes or Foie Gras

K

So things like croissants? Brioche? A soufflé? A Niçoise salad?

OMG pretentious wanker

You’re in so much trouble! "

It was meant in a friendly way?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"When they say things are pan fried how else are you going to fry things unless you use a frying pan ffs

Because you can deep fat fry food

You can air fry too "

Also sautéing, stir and shallow

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A bit like pulled pork, I have also seen ‘torn’ chicken. Like on top of pizza or in a salad.

Oh, do fuck off!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Anything and everything you use the French name for. The ones that comes to my mind is Dauphinoise potatoes or Foie Gras

K

So things like croissants? Brioche? A soufflé? A Niçoise salad?

OMG pretentious wanker

You’re in so much trouble!

It was meant in a friendly way? "

And also, you're in Italy so....

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds


"

Also sautéing, stir and shallow "

These all use a frying pan !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Also sautéing, stir and shallow

These all use a frying pan ! "

True I was getting carried away with the different types

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By *isAdventure69Woman
over a year ago

Hampshire


"Anything and everything you use the French name for. The ones that comes to my mind is Dauphinoise potatoes or Foie Gras

K

Amen! I watch Masterchef and they’re always at it with the likes on there.

Crème anglaise - it’s just custard!

This is it! Creme anglaise… its just fucking Ambrosia!!! "

Sacrilege! Not the same at all

There’s never any cornflour in a creme anglaise .., hence it is rather runny compared to custard .

Whereas custard needs a thickening agent .

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The only food i find pointless is caviar.

The board you descride is pretty much my lazy go too on a sat night after the pub, crackers, pickles, cheeses, olives, cured meats on a nice slate platter.. ill pick at it all night love it

I mean I love it too …it’s just the name that grinds me

Also I find it quite sexy to eat with hands only but that’s another story "

We used to have this as kids, slight variation on ingredients. We’d call

It a Saturday tea and have it like a picnic while watching stuff like Allo Allo

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I really hate the words tall, grande and venti it’s small, medium and large ffs rant over

Hahaha can I have VENTI PUMPKIN SPICE LATTE WITH OAT MILK, EXTRA HOT , WITH NO FOAM, AND A DOUBLE ESPRESSO SHOT, USE THE SUMATRA BEANS … to go like NOW!

feck ya "

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think once something becomes fashionable it can then go pretentious.

I don’t quite get Pho. Isn’t it just noodles in Water?

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By *ack688Man
over a year ago

abruzzo Italy (and UK)


"Anything and everything you use the French name for. The ones that comes to my mind is Dauphinoise potatoes or Foie Gras

K

So things like croissants? Brioche? A soufflé? A Niçoise salad?

OMG pretentious wanker

You’re in so much trouble!

It was meant in a friendly way?

And also, you're in Italy so.... "

Haha, hmm, that does make things trickier

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *agerMorganMan
over a year ago

Canvey Island

Cheese boards. I find them so utterly pretentious, bordering on twatish.

Just eat some cheese, no need to arse around with everything else.

Oh, and steak that’s served on a piece of slate or wooden board. Just put the damn thing on a plate!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Cheese boards. I find them so utterly pretentious, bordering on twatish.

Just eat some cheese, no need to arse around with everything else.

Oh, and steak that’s served on a piece of slate or wooden board. Just put the damn thing on a plate! "

How do you feel about sweet potato fries served in a metal prison cup?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Brioche!!!! It would be nice if they gave you a choice of what you want your burger to sit in

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By *aughtycouple1008Couple
over a year ago

west london

Pomme de puree....

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By *ensuallover1000Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…


"Cheese boards. I find them so utterly pretentious, bordering on twatish.

Just eat some cheese, no need to arse around with everything else.

Oh, and steak that’s served on a piece of slate or wooden board. Just put the damn thing on a plate! "

Oh yes and those special ‘cheese knives’.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Brioche!!!! It would be nice if they gave you a choice of what you want your burger to sit in "

I think some places let you pick the bun

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Brioche!!!! It would be nice if they gave you a choice of what you want your burger to sit in

I think some places let you pick the bun "

Wonderful! Ive been in a fair few places and asked but none had the option. Always thought that was a bit daft

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There’s no pretentious food, only pretentious chefs.

It all ends up in the same place

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By *ormorantMan
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

Crushed potatoes, no,lumpy mash..

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By *ools and the brainCouple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

Le Beans on toast.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Crushed potatoes, no,lumpy mash.."

I’m guilty of lumpy mash x

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By *agerMorganMan
over a year ago

Canvey Island


"Cheese boards. I find them so utterly pretentious, bordering on twatish.

Just eat some cheese, no need to arse around with everything else.

Oh, and steak that’s served on a piece of slate or wooden board. Just put the damn thing on a plate!

How do you feel about sweet potato fries served in a metal prison cup? "

Just as equally as steak on slate or a wooden board. Just put them damn things on the plate next to the chips!

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By *urplechesterCouple
over a year ago

chester

Pea purée! So sloppy mushy peas then, which I’m sure is delicious haha! I don’t get the whole foam thing either, but then I’m a pint and a bowl of chips type, so fancy food is wasted on me haha Miss pc

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Vol oo vent sounds posh, but it is literally a pastry case with mushy stuff inside

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Vol oo vent sounds posh, but it is literally a pastry case with mushy stuff inside"

x I forgot about them

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By *ensuallover1000Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…


"Vol oo vent sounds posh, but it is literally a pastry case with mushy stuff inside"

And they’re harder to procure than Bigfoot poop now

Aside from a few places doing the pastry casings, I only can think of M&S doing them at Christmas now.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Anything from that douchebag salt bae...

If you think that's fine dining or a gastronomic experience, you are sadly mistaken..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Gazpacho It’s tomato soup ffs.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I really hate the words tall, grande and venti it’s small, medium and large ffs rant over

Hahaha can I have VENTI PUMPKIN SPICE LATTE WITH OAT MILK, EXTRA HOT , WITH NO FOAM, AND A DOUBLE ESPRESSO SHOT, USE THE SUMATRA BEANS … to go like NOW!

"

I have a mocha with a chocolate flake thrown in

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I really hate the words tall, grande and venti it’s small, medium and large ffs rant over "

Funnily, the small you are referring to is actually the old medium. They still have the small but they don’t have it on the menu ( you can still ask for it) . So, they have small, medium, large and grande. But as consumers are more likely to buy the middle one (old grande) instead of the new small (the old middle choice) as it costs more for the larger size

Have I bored you yet? I’ll be honest, I bored myself typing this.

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By *ashful_at_firstMan
over a year ago

Canterbury


"Jus jus fucking jus

"
Absolutely, it`s gravy!!

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By *ig_eric_tionMan
over a year ago

IPSWICH

Anything with a ridiculous amount of ingredients.. most of which you don't notice anyway.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I convinced my chef friend that has all sorts of pretentious food on his menu to rename the meatballs "spherical carne" to keep in line with the rest of the crap on it. He thought it was so silly he had to do it.

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By *otMe66Man
over a year ago

Terra Firma

Anything cooked by Salt Bae

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By *iren4uWoman
over a year ago

jersey channel islands


"When I go for breakfast and they put the baked beans in a separate pot!!

No!! Juuuuust no..

B"

See I like that because I dont like the beans to touch other foods and make it soggy maybe I'm just weird

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I convinced my chef friend that has all sorts of pretentious food on his menu to rename the meatballs "spherical carne" to keep in line with the rest of the crap on it. He thought it was so silly he had to do it. "

Brilliant

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By *uriousscouserWoman
over a year ago

Wirral


"Vol oo vent sounds posh, but it is literally a pastry case with mushy stuff inside

And they’re harder to procure than Bigfoot poop now

Aside from a few places doing the pastry casings, I only can think of M&S doing them at Christmas now."

I'll be making a million of the buggers for a buffet next month. They aren't hard to make, you can even use ready made puff pastry for them.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I really hate the words tall, grande and venti it’s small, medium and large ffs rant over

Hahaha can I have VENTI PUMPKIN SPICE LATTE WITH OAT MILK, EXTRA HOT , WITH NO FOAM, AND A DOUBLE ESPRESSO SHOT, USE THE SUMATRA BEANS … to go like NOW!

I have a mocha with a chocolate flake thrown in "

Can’t go wrong with a choc flake

N O M

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By *olly_chromaticTV/TS
over a year ago

Stockport


"Anything they serve you in weird shit like chips in a bucket or food on a chopping board or banana leaves, I demand a plate ffs"

Pie and mash served on a piece of welsh slate... And they give you gravy to pour over it

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By *isfits behaving badlyCouple
over a year ago

Coventry

I remember a phase no so long a where nearly every trendy place was doing some sort of fish finger sandwich

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I remember a phase no so long a where nearly every trendy place was doing some sort of fish finger sandwich "

I remember this! I mean I love a fish finger sandwich every so often but it ain’t fancy

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By *oeBiggs321Man
over a year ago

Reading


"I remember a phase no so long a where nearly every trendy place was doing some sort of fish finger sandwich "

I loved this trend nothing wrong with a fish finger sandwich… just was t so sure of the prices some of them tagged on! I’m sure I once paid around £15 for one

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

Instead of fish fingers they call them fish goujons

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Smashed avocado is another one.

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By *heVonMatterhornsCouple
over a year ago

Lincoln

Caviar. Do I need to say more?

LvM

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By *ensuallover1000Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

What’s that frothy, spit like apparition that contestants utterly ruin the aesthetic value of their food with on Masterchef quite regularly?

Whenever John Torode sees the stuff, he more or less jumps up and down with pretentious joy and jizzes in his pants.

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By *agneto.Man
over a year ago

Bham


"I really hate the words tall, grande and venti it’s small, medium and large ffs rant over "

Totally with you on this one. I refuse to use their terms. You're bloody American.

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds


"What’s that frothy, spit like apparition that contestants utterly ruin the aesthetic value of their food with on Masterchef quite regularly?

Whenever John Torode sees the stuff, he more or less jumps up and down with pretentious joy and jizzes in his pants. "

Espuma ?

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By *ensuallover1000Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…


"What’s that frothy, spit like apparition that contestants utterly ruin the aesthetic value of their food with on Masterchef quite regularly?

Whenever John Torode sees the stuff, he more or less jumps up and down with pretentious joy and jizzes in his pants.

Espuma ? "

That’s the stuff - My dog brings up something remarkably similar looking whenever she eats grass

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By *heVonMatterhornsCouple
over a year ago

Lincoln


"What’s that frothy, spit like apparition that contestants utterly ruin the aesthetic value of their food with on Masterchef quite regularly?

Whenever John Torode sees the stuff, he more or less jumps up and down with pretentious joy and jizzes in his pants.

Espuma ? "

Gesundheit.

LvM

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough


"Anything and everything you use the French name for. The ones that comes to my mind is Dauphinoise potatoes or Foie Gras

K

Amen! I watch Masterchef and they’re always at it with the likes on there.

Crème anglaise - it’s just custard! "

Thick custard and thin custard have two names in French!

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough


"Anything that has "deconstructed" in the description. It's invariably pretentious tosh.

The IKEA flat pack of restaurant food"

A bowl full of sugar, a pot full of tea, a teaspoon and a jug of milk is the original deconstructed beverage.

Or would you prefer it all done for you in a polystyrene cup?

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By *iamondCougarWoman
over a year ago

Norfuck! / Lincolnshire


"What food do you think sounds incredibly pretentious (like it’s so basic but people somehow managed to fancy it up) or IS incredible pretentious for what you get for?

Let’s talk charcuterie boards ….and as much as I love them, as I LOOOVE to pick at crackers and cured meats and cheese and figs with all the little pickles and different chutneys , like a Victorian era type bitch….but let’s be honest… it’s just a freaking mixed platter!!

Why call it that way, I can barely pronounce it

Over to you guys! Name food that even the name alone, drive you up the walls "

Probably because it’s a Continental grazing board, that’s what they do abroad

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough


"I really hate the words tall, grande and venti it’s small, medium and large ffs rant over "

You need to chill out with a a Skinny, tall, decaf, mocha, frapacinno, with organic soya milk topped of with vegan oatmeal whipped cream and organic sprinkles on top. Do you want any sugar free syrup with it, to go.

To misquote Dervla Kirwan "This isn't fancy pants coffee, this is an M&S trifle gone wrong with an esspresso somewhere underneath it" and that'll be £7.50 please, the crappy Italian coat button of a biscuit, will be an extra 50p.

Chin, chin!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sweet potato fries. Who on Earth looked at the chip and thought "we need to improve on that"?

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By *uriousscouserWoman
over a year ago

Wirral


"Anything that has "deconstructed" in the description. It's invariably pretentious tosh.

The IKEA flat pack of restaurant food

A bowl full of sugar, a pot full of tea, a teaspoon and a jug of milk is the original deconstructed beverage.

Or would you prefer it all done for you in a polystyrene cup?"

If I'm paying someone to make me a latte and they hand me milk and a handful of coffee beans I'm going to be pretty non-plussed.

If I want ingredients I'll go to the supermarket. If I'm paying for a meal I want someone else to make it for me.

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough


"When they say things are pan fried how else are you going to fry things unless you use a frying pan ffs

Because you can deep fat fry food

You can air fry too "

Nope. Fry means to be in a layer of fat/oil, shallow or deep.

Grilled or baked is the correct term for air frying. Bloody marketeers! Try doing an air-fried Mars Bar in batter...

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough


"Anything and everything you use the French name for. The ones that comes to my mind is Dauphinoise potatoes or Foie Gras

K

So things like croissants? Brioche? A soufflé? A Niçoise salad? "

Baguette. Champagne, French Fries (Belgian, I know)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Houmous, I'll just leave this here.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Houmous, I'll just leave this here."

I’m OBSESSED with hummus my gaaadddd

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough


"Houmous, I'll just leave this here."

Isn't that just soggy cardboard, mashed up...sorry pureed?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Sweet potato fries. Who on Earth looked at the chip and thought "we need to improve on that"? "

Don’t hate on sweet potato fries tho!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Amuse bouche.

Not the food but the term when used in an English language menu. Tireseome.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Houmous, I'll just leave this here.

Isn't that just soggy cardboard, mashed up...sorry pureed? "

You are dead to me!

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough


"Houmous, I'll just leave this here.

Isn't that just soggy cardboard, mashed up...sorry pureed?

You are dead to me! "

Unless you can twitch your nose like Samantha can and change it's texture, then nothing can persuade me.

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough


"Anything that has "deconstructed" in the description. It's invariably pretentious tosh.

The IKEA flat pack of restaurant food

A bowl full of sugar, a pot full of tea, a teaspoon and a jug of milk is the original deconstructed beverage.

Or would you prefer it all done for you in a polystyrene cup?

If I'm paying someone to make me a latte and they hand me milk and a handful of coffee beans I'm going to be pretty non-plussed.

If I want ingredients I'll go to the supermarket. If I'm paying for a meal I want someone else to make it for me."

Do you drink tea?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Anything on Bake off or Master Chef.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Sweet potato fries. Who on Earth looked at the chip and thought "we need to improve on that"?

Don’t hate on sweet potato fries tho!! "

I like sweet potato, they just need to stop being something they're not

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By *uriousscouserWoman
over a year ago

Wirral


"Anything that has "deconstructed" in the description. It's invariably pretentious tosh.

The IKEA flat pack of restaurant food

A bowl full of sugar, a pot full of tea, a teaspoon and a jug of milk is the original deconstructed beverage.

Or would you prefer it all done for you in a polystyrene cup?

If I'm paying someone to make me a latte and they hand me milk and a handful of coffee beans I'm going to be pretty non-plussed.

If I want ingredients I'll go to the supermarket. If I'm paying for a meal I want someone else to make it for me.

Do you drink tea?"

At home, not in restaurants.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sushi. Just give me the fucking Salmon and keep the cold rice and sea.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Sushi. Just give me the fucking Salmon and keep the cold rice and sea. "

That would be salmon sashimi.

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

Quinoa, but it's better than cous cous.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Sushi. Just give me the fucking Salmon and keep the cold rice and sea.

That would be salmon sashimi."

I like smoked salmon. I also like raw pickled herring, on buttered bread - it's delicious.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

“A trio of…” STOP RIGHT THERE

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough


"Quinoa, but it's better than cous cous."
even the way it's said is pretentious Keen-wa not quin-no-a

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Plant-based meat products!

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By *hechairman18Man
over a year ago

Salford Quays , Manchester

Dad, what's a Latte?

It's Italian, for £2.50, son.

Dad, what's a PIZZA ?

Cheese on Toast, son.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"“A trio of…” STOP RIGHT THERE"

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By *ickeyblueeyes7Man
over a year ago

newport


"When they say things are pan fried how else are you going to fry things unless you use a frying pan ffs

Because you can deep fat fry food

You can air fry too

Also sautéing, stir and shallow "

Also done in a pan

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By *izzy.miss.lizzyCouple
over a year ago

Pembrokeshire

I won't go in those sorts of places now to get riped off so I couldn't single any dishes out but I've heard about the beef that is fetching hundreds of pounds a piece and it makes my eyes roll in the back of my head...

back in the past used to go to a place where Posh and Becks went from time to time with the bosses Mrs... and everything on the menu was too posh to pronounce, way way way over priced, tiny portions of stuff like squiggles or smudges of this puree and that puree, quinelles of this mash and that mash, dots of this foam and that foam, a bit of sweet pea tendril or a stick of cinamon... salad with flower petals or whatever, and we'd come out still starving hungry and get a kebab on the way home.

If we had been paying the bill we would have gone to the chippy instead hahahaha

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By *uriousscouserWoman
over a year ago

Wirral


"“A trio of…” STOP RIGHT THERE"

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By *agneto.Man
over a year ago

Bham

Cooked three ways.

Guarantee one of the 3 ways is going to be weird.

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By *agneto.Man
over a year ago

Bham

Sous vide.

Can I have a bit of colour on that please.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"French fries...no!they're chips! "

This.

And while we’re on thesubject, Cod and Chips I mean it’s not some sort of Nouvelle cuisine ffs, it’s Large Cod and Large Chips

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

Capreese salad it’s just a piece of mozzarella with a basil leaf and a slice of tomato.

The latest craze of queuing for houses to get into Instagram restaurants selling street food bothers me , it’s spread from London to nottingham

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West


"Quinoa, but it's better than cous cous. even the way it's said is pretentious Keen-wa not quin-no-a"

Cos it's Spanish, ¿no?

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

.

Triple cooked chips.

Greasy, overly crispy all the way through and rarely done properly. Pretentious, jumping on a tired bandwagon.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Triple cooked chips.

Greasy, overly crispy all the way through and rarely done properly. Pretentious, jumping on a tired bandwagon. "

Oh I have to disagree Meli.

I do love a triple cooked chip.

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

.


"Triple cooked chips.

Greasy, overly crispy all the way through and rarely done properly. Pretentious, jumping on a tired bandwagon.

Oh I have to disagree Meli.

I do love a triple cooked chip. "

Noooo Lorna! Noooo. Your poor palate.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Triple cooked chips.

Greasy, overly crispy all the way through and rarely done properly. Pretentious, jumping on a tired bandwagon. "

aka twice warmed up chips

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By *piderBunnyCouple
over a year ago

Back of Nowhere and Beyond

Blinis... what is the point?

B.x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Triple cooked chips.

Greasy, overly crispy all the way through and rarely done properly. Pretentious, jumping on a tired bandwagon.

Oh I have to disagree Meli.

I do love a triple cooked chip.

Noooo Lorna! Noooo. Your poor palate. "

What would recommend as an alternative oh foodie one.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Triple cooked chips.

Greasy, overly crispy all the way through and rarely done properly. Pretentious, jumping on a tired bandwagon. "

Who guarantees they been triple cooked? What does it even mean??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Chia seeds

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Triple cooked chips.

Greasy, overly crispy all the way through and rarely done properly. Pretentious, jumping on a tired bandwagon.

Who guarantees they been triple cooked? What does it even mean?? "

The oyster bar in West Mersea, Essex... had my first triple cooked chips! Best chips EVER! However... anyone ordering chips in a posh restaurant should really question what or perhaps 'who' is being pretentious haha

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

MENU

Samphire nestled on a bed of frightened rice.

Invigorated , steamed miso with julienne au fingered os shallot.

Cascade of plum balls served in battered balsamic vine of gar with trembling monkfish spittle.

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough


"Dad, what's a Latte?

It's Italian, for £2.50, son.

Dad, what's a PIZZA ?

Cheese on Toast, son. "

What's a ragu?

Stewed mince wi' sum tomatoes.

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By *iger4uWoman
over a year ago

In my happy place

Anything with a jus on it.

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough


"Triple cooked chips.

Greasy, overly crispy all the way through and rarely done properly. Pretentious, jumping on a tired bandwagon.

Who guarantees they been triple cooked? What does it even mean?? "

Cooking chips in an oven: bung them in an oven until half the chips are burnt, but still hard in the middle.

Cooking chips in deep fat: blanch (whiten) in a low heat 140ºc, then take out when soft. CFinnish off in hot fat to purely add colour and redden the edges, yum yum.

Triple cooking is like above, but boil the chips first, then cool, dry then blanche as above and finish off in the hot oil.

Yes, I've been to catering college and also worked in plenty of restaurants as well as a chippy.

Twice cooked is all you need.

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough


"Triple cooked chips.

Greasy, overly crispy all the way through and rarely done properly. Pretentious, jumping on a tired bandwagon.

Who guarantees they been triple cooked? What does it even mean??

The oyster bar in West Mersea, Essex... had my first triple cooked chips! Best chips EVER! However... anyone ordering chips in a posh restaurant should really question what or perhaps 'who' is being pretentious haha"

I think I was there this October.

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By *inkySeeKinkyDoWoman
over a year ago

'tween PontyCarlo & CasVegas in West Yorks


"MENU

Samphire nestled on a bed of frightened rice.

Invigorated , steamed miso with julienne au fingered os shallot.

Cascade of plum balls served in battered balsamic vine of gar with trembling monkfish spittle.

"

I'll have one of each please granny but slathered in gravy!

A second vote for Quinoa here...surely its the name of Tarquin's younger brother and not a shit tasting pretender to rice

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West


"MENU

Samphire nestled on a bed of frightened rice.

Invigorated , steamed miso with julienne au fingered os shallot.

Cascade of plum balls served in battered balsamic vine of gar with trembling monkfish spittle.

I'll have one of each please granny but slathered in gravy!

A second vote for Quinoa here...surely its the name of Tarquin's younger brother and not a shit tasting pretender to rice "

The great irony being that quinoa is the traditional food of Andean subsistence farmers! It's like someone declaring boiled spuds pretentious or something

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am starting to get pissed off about not being able to get a fecking burger that's not in a bloody brioche bun!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Things with sweet chilli sauce. I want to taste the food, not have it smothered in chilli. Why ruin the delicate taste of halloumi with it in a panini?

And definitely beans in little pots, chips in separate poncy containers, custard (sorry creme anglais) in a teeny jug so we don't see how little we're getting and wooden boards as plates. Just put all my meal on one proper plate or bowl, hand it over and let me eat it in peace.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I am starting to get pissed off about not being able to get a fecking burger that's not in a bloody brioche bun! "

I like brioche buns. They don't fall apart as easily as traditional burger buns.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I won't go in those sorts of places now to get riped off so I couldn't single any dishes out but I've heard about the beef that is fetching hundreds of pounds a piece and it makes my eyes roll in the back of my head...

back in the past used to go to a place where Posh and Becks went from time to time with the bosses Mrs... and everything on the menu was too posh to pronounce, way way way over priced, tiny portions of stuff like squiggles or smudges of this puree and that puree, quinelles of this mash and that mash, dots of this foam and that foam, a bit of sweet pea tendril or a stick of cinamon... salad with flower petals or whatever, and we'd come out still starving hungry and get a kebab on the way home.

If we had been paying the bill we would have gone to the chippy instead hahahaha"

And by the time it gets to you, it's probably cold because it takes that long to plate up.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Mange tout.

Love it, but it's an artsy fartsy name."

Whata wrong with Man get outs?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Dad, what's a Latte?

It's Italian, for £2.50, son.

Dad, what's a PIZZA ?

Cheese on Toast, son.

What's a ragu?

Stewed mince wi' sum tomatoes."

Oiiiii, don’t be offensive!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Chateau Briand

A big steak

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Houmous, I'll just leave this here."

Sure….And leave the salty olive bread and the nachos… I can destroy a good pot of houmous

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By *instonandLadyAstorCouple
over a year ago

Not where we seem to be...

May I add steak "cooked" in the dishwasher.....

Yes, I thought that too. Apparently, it's a thing.

Lady Astor

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"May I add steak "cooked" in the dishwasher.....

Yes, I thought that too. Apparently, it's a thing.

Lady Astor"

WHAT IN THE HELL!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I am starting to get pissed off about not being able to get a fecking burger that's not in a bloody brioche bun!

I like brioche buns. They don't fall apart as easily as traditional burger buns. "

I do too... Or did... Just the option of a normal one now n then would be nice

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By *ools and the brainCouple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

Anything with the word"artisan" in front of it.

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham


"Triple cooked chips.

Greasy, overly crispy all the way through and rarely done properly. Pretentious, jumping on a tired bandwagon.

Who guarantees they been triple cooked? What does it even mean??

The oyster bar in West Mersea, Essex... had my first triple cooked chips! Best chips EVER! However... anyone ordering chips in a posh restaurant should really question what or perhaps 'who' is being pretentious haha

I think I was there this October."

Is there still a place there called the shed or the hut ? Great sea food

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By *instonandLadyAstorCouple
over a year ago

Not where we seem to be...


"May I add steak "cooked" in the dishwasher.....

Yes, I thought that too. Apparently, it's a thing.

Lady Astor

WHAT IN THE HELL!! "

Pop in a sealed bag in the dishwasher, run the cycle for 96 minutes.

Just a "bit" pretentious.

Lady Astor

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds


"

Pop in a sealed bag in the dishwasher, run the cycle for 96 minutes.

Just a "bit" pretentious.

Lady Astor "

Does the length of the cycle vary according to the weight of the steak ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"May I add steak "cooked" in the dishwasher.....

Yes, I thought that too. Apparently, it's a thing.

Lady Astor

WHAT IN THE HELL!!

Pop in a sealed bag in the dishwasher, run the cycle for 96 minutes.

Just a "bit" pretentious.

Lady Astor "

96 minutes? That's a long wait in the restaurant

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I am starting to get pissed off about not being able to get a fecking burger that's not in a bloody brioche bun!

I like brioche buns. They don't fall apart as easily as traditional burger buns.

I do too... Or did... Just the option of a normal one now n then would be nice "

Good point. Meet you at McD's

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By *hristopherd999Man
over a year ago

Brentwood

Waiter - How did you find your steak sir?

Me - I lifted up a chip and there it was!

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

I win with this !

A few years ago ..... My friend and I went for a country walk.

Went into the cafe for lunch and she said ........ Oh they have Croque Monsieur.... I'd never had it but when her crock monsieur came it was a Fucking - Ham n Cheese toastie!

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