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Losing it all....am I alone?

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By *heekychap76 OP   Man
over a year ago

Ipswich

I know it's not a positive topic but I posted here a few years back and had great support. Have you ever felt like you've lost it all? For me the biggie happened 3 years ago when I lost my little one....everyone has said I've done so well but since then it's been are arse kicking and another relationship gone down the pan....I'm not on the edge but I just cannot make sense of things sometimes....just feel alone...anyone else?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Talk to someone.

I had times like that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Talk to a friend or a stranger if it's easier, never just keep it to yourself.

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By *heekychap76 OP   Man
over a year ago

Ipswich

Absolutely have done chaps, I can talk to much...just find it mind-blowing sometimes if that makes any sense....I'm such a positive person ordinarily.

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By *urvyBi-84Man
over a year ago

Lancs


"I know it's not a positive topic but I posted here a few years back and had great support. Have you ever felt like you've lost it all? For me the biggie happened 3 years ago when I lost my little one....everyone has said I've done so well but since then it's been are arse kicking and another relationship gone down the pan....I'm not on the edge but I just cannot make sense of things sometimes....just feel alone...anyone else? "

Agree with Violet, talk to someone. Counselling isn’t something to be ashamed of and can help massively in situations like this.

I went through a similar situation a couple of years ago when a long relationship suddenly ended. Counselling helped, also reaching out to friends and communities like this. Focus on you and on doing things that you want to do to make you happy. It’s all small steps but it all helps.

In the meantime, I’m sending a manly hug and some positive thoughts your way. Hope you can work through this.

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By *hroatQueen_CATV/TS
over a year ago

Carlisle

Bless you! Never bottle up emotions or feelings you are human. Sometimes it is easier talking to strangers at times! You will always have yourself, So don't forget your own worth.

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By *heekychap76 OP   Man
over a year ago

Ipswich


"Bless you! Never bottle up emotions or feelings you are human. Sometimes it is easier talking to strangers at times! You will always have yourself, So don't forget your own worth. "

Thank you, I think it's just how brutal it's been....I definitely talk and have done, remarkable that strangers have been the best to talk to, a plumber is an example I can give. Disappointed in the people closest to me and who I thought cared....that is a kick I could've done without. Thanks for reaching out.

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By *heekychap76 OP   Man
over a year ago

Ipswich


"I know it's not a positive topic but I posted here a few years back and had great support. Have you ever felt like you've lost it all? For me the biggie happened 3 years ago when I lost my little one....everyone has said I've done so well but since then it's been are arse kicking and another relationship gone down the pan....I'm not on the edge but I just cannot make sense of things sometimes....just feel alone...anyone else?

Agree with Violet, talk to someone. Counselling isn’t something to be ashamed of and can help massively in situations like this.

I went through a similar situation a couple of years ago when a long relationship suddenly ended. Counselling helped, also reaching out to friends and communities like this. Focus on you and on doing things that you want to do to make you happy. It’s all small steps but it all helps.

In the meantime, I’m sending a manly hug and some positive thoughts your way. Hope you can work through this. "

Thank you buddy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your not alone in feeling alone. I've lost everything recently (although never had the heartbreak you had a few years back) and mostly I'm ok but sometimes I know there's no one there for me.

Maybe one day there will be again. Hope your situation improves.

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By *hroatQueen_CATV/TS
over a year ago

Carlisle


"Bless you! Never bottle up emotions or feelings you are human. Sometimes it is easier talking to strangers at times! You will always have yourself, So don't forget your own worth.

Thank you, I think it's just how brutal it's been....I definitely talk and have done, remarkable that strangers have been the best to talk to, a plumber is an example I can give. Disappointed in the people closest to me and who I thought cared....that is a kick I could've done without. Thanks for reaching out."
Aww you are welcome! I know all about it too but let's not go there. Well if they cared they would show you! I just cut toxic people out my life now no time for it. Bless you just remember people do care

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By *heekychap76 OP   Man
over a year ago

Ipswich


"Your not alone in feeling alone. I've lost everything recently (although never had the heartbreak you had a few years back) and mostly I'm ok but sometimes I know there's no one there for me.

Maybe one day there will be again. Hope your situation improves. "

Thank you, yeah that was just unbelievable, SCBU and having a premmie was just ....I don't know, that in itself was horrific. That was the worse time. Since then I've rebuilt and trusted again, not the wisest choice so it would seem.

Thanks again for reaching out, nice to hear other peoples stories or input.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I honestly can't begin to imagine what you've gone through, i'm sending to the biggest ever virtual hug in the world i've been where you are (for very different reasons) and I felt painfully empty and sad, wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. It does get easier I promise, and the slightest inconvenience can knock you back 10 steps, but everyday you wake up and get out of bed you're abit stronger, everytime you pish yourself to have a shower and brush your teeth you're abit stronger. Set yourself little manageable goals and treat yourself when you reach them. Have you got any hobbies? Something that you can get lost it? Have you been to the docs? Have you signed up for minds matter online? All these things will help over time.

And talk to the lovely people on here, it doesn't have to be naughty chat, just general chit chat, once you get chatting to me I don't stop haha. It really does help to talk and people care, chat to me whenever you want to get something off your chest, don't bottle anything up. Lots of things coming up to be thankful for.

Here have another Mrs P hug *huuuuugs*

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By *hunkymonkey81Man
over a year ago

Sheffield

Dont suffer alone i almost ended it about 1t yrs ago but found talking to ppl really helped

Lots of hugs from me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Talk to your GP now

Look at like this, there are many people much worse off than you, think about it.

See a GP, trust me they can help steer you to a better health

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By *heekychap76 OP   Man
over a year ago

Ipswich


"I honestly can't begin to imagine what you've gone through, i'm sending to the biggest ever virtual hug in the world i've been where you are (for very different reasons) and I felt painfully empty and sad, wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. It does get easier I promise, and the slightest inconvenience can knock you back 10 steps, but everyday you wake up and get out of bed you're abit stronger, everytime you pish yourself to have a shower and brush your teeth you're abit stronger. Set yourself little manageable goals and treat yourself when you reach them. Have you got any hobbies? Something that you can get lost it? Have you been to the docs? Have you signed up for minds matter online? All these things will help over time.

And talk to the lovely people on here, it doesn't have to be naughty chat, just general chit chat, once you get chatting to me I don't stop haha. It really does help to talk and people care, chat to me whenever you want to get something off your chest, don't bottle anything up. Lots of things coming up to be thankful for.

Here have another Mrs P hug *huuuuugs*"

Thanks so much, my doc is just an amazing lady, I don't do meds, not good when you have a high metabolism. I do have a hobby, it's ok....we did a memorial race the other weekend and our team won (over 960 laps) It was in the memory of a guy who took his life so a great cause.

I guess for me like you stated it's the knockbacks, rude uncaring people. I love being around people and I am a bit reserved in certain ways but have no problem opening up.

Just like you said yet another knockback (more lies) and you find yourself looking at yourself (I know it's them and their lookout) but why be uncaring and unkind when a person has faced the biggest and hardest loss (I think it must be).

Hey once again many kind thanks...

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By *nsatiableWoman
over a year ago

Newmarket

Nope not just you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Really can't imagine the hole that this has left in your life but please keep talking to people..

Been in my profession I take regular counselling due to what we see and deal with on a daily basis.Please feel free to message if you want to chat at anytime xxxx

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By *heekychap76 OP   Man
over a year ago

Ipswich


"Dont suffer alone i almost ended it about 1t yrs ago but found talking to ppl really helped

Lots of hugs from me"

Cheers my man. Thanks I appreciate it.

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By *izzy.miss.lizzyCouple
over a year ago

Pembrokeshire

so sorry to hear what happened, and that you feel the way you do, totally understandible under the circumstances.

Talk to the GP or maybe the charity called "Mind" or "Cruse"? they were fab when I was in a dark place.

Hope you feel brighter soon x

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By *heekychap76 OP   Man
over a year ago

Ipswich


"Really can't imagine the hole that this has left in your life but please keep talking to people..

Been in my profession I take regular counselling due to what we see and deal with on a daily basis.Please feel free to message if you want to chat at anytime xxxx

Thank you, have taken you up on that offer. X

"

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By *heekychap76 OP   Man
over a year ago

Ipswich


"so sorry to hear what happened, and that you feel the way you do, totally understandible under the circumstances.

Talk to the GP or maybe the charity called "Mind" or "Cruse"? they were fab when I was in a dark place.

Hope you feel brighter soon x"

Thank you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hey, I haven't read everyone's replies so sorry if I repeat anything.

I have been in somewhat of a similar position from the mothers POV, but they are still unique to us.

It's been 8 years and I haven't had any therapy/counselling. I don't believe it would help me. I can't get my head around people being empathic when they truly don't know the situation you're drowning in or the intense emotions you're feeling. Noone can grasp how heavy it is.

I'd maybe find a support group more useful but I've never been to one.

I found mindfulness, self care and herbal methods helped me. And I admit, pain medication just to numb days away sometimes.

It's still early for you, even I still have bad days, really really bad days but I keep moving, and I'm still here. When things get too much I make sure someone knows to check up on me but not to baby me.

Hopefully you find ways to deal with it in your own time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hey, I haven't read everyone's replies so sorry if I repeat anything.

I have been in somewhat of a similar position from the mothers POV, but they are still unique to us.

It's been 8 years and I haven't had any therapy/counselling. I don't believe it would help me. I can't get my head around people being empathic when they truly don't know the situation you're drowning in or the intense emotions you're feeling. Noone can grasp how heavy it is.

I'd maybe find a support group more useful but I've never been to one.

I found mindfulness, self care and herbal methods helped me. And I admit, pain medication just to numb days away sometimes.

It's still early for you, even I still have bad days, really really bad days but I keep moving, and I'm still here. When things get too much I make sure someone knows to check up on me but not to baby me.

Hopefully you find ways to deal with it in your own time."

I’m so sorry for all those who are going through this, I cannot imagine how horrific it must be.

I think the benefit might be allowing someone else to hear those things, and sharing that heavy burden, just to let it out, instead of holding it all? I could be wrong, but that’s how I see it.

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By *akie32Man
over a year ago

winchester

have been there, and its shit, have now got my head around it and started a new life, made new friends, different circle, found an amazing woman who ilove to death, but wont live with her as found i enjoy my own company, and this suits her fine. Things can get better, its hard but i found a possitive attitude helped, i lost my house, girlfriend of over a decade, step daughter who i raised, even my dog, cam home from working away for a few days to an empty house, and i mean empty, she took it all. As a guy you have very little rights in any of this,but after all that i feel better of now in myself, still miss the dog tho lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hiya OP, recognising when you're getting close to the edge it's a massive plus, I didn't and its a bit late to try and find safe ground when you're already in free fall.

You mentioned struggling to make sense. I think there are two answers to this, for those who have faith, meaning can be found there. For myself, the best way is not to look for meaning because there is none. This sounds harsh but unhappiness is said to come from there being too big a gap between our expectations and our reality. For me, if I expect there to be a reason for the things that have happened in my life I am setting myself up for disappointment. Life can look very bleak without purpose or reason - especially when for a long time you had purpose and that's been taken away. It can also be freeing to accept that there is no purpose other than that you chose to give yourself.

I hope you find your answers, always there if you want a chat.

Mr

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By *heekychap76 OP   Man
over a year ago

Ipswich


"have been there, and its shit, have now got my head around it and started a new life, made new friends, different circle, found an amazing woman who ilove to death, but wont live with her as found i enjoy my own company, and this suits her fine. Things can get better, its hard but i found a possitive attitude helped, i lost my house, girlfriend of over a decade, step daughter who i raised, even my dog, cam home from working away for a few days to an empty house, and i mean empty, she took it all. As a guy you have very little rights in any of this,but after all that i feel better of now in myself, still miss the dog tho lol"

I miss a dog as well, sadly that died as well...such a cool dog, bloody handful though lol

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By *akie32Man
over a year ago

winchester


"have been there, and its shit, have now got my head around it and started a new life, made new friends, different circle, found an amazing woman who ilove to death, but wont live with her as found i enjoy my own company, and this suits her fine. Things can get better, its hard but i found a possitive attitude helped, i lost my house, girlfriend of over a decade, step daughter who i raised, even my dog, cam home from working away for a few days to an empty house, and i mean empty, she took it all. As a guy you have very little rights in any of this,but after all that i feel better of now in myself, still miss the dog tho lol

I miss a dog as well, sadly that died as well...such a cool dog, bloody handful though lol"

they are the best ones, sadly the flat im in doesnt alow pets, but girlfriend has one and hes kind of addopted me , best thing is i dont have to put up with him 24/7 lol

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By *gentlegiant66Man
over a year ago

Kettering

I lost everything 10 years ago when I found my son dead at the age of 11. I don't remember the following months, erased from memory, in hindsight I was suffering from PTSD. I lost my marriage shortly afterwards due to the stress. My life was saved by my life hero, my remaining son. If it wasn't for him I would have gone off the bridge, I can say that without a doubt. 10 years on everyday is a battle but I'm still here, he is by my side and the bad shit has stopped. There is light at the end of the tunnel, might be far off but it's there

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By *ikAshCouple
over a year ago

London

I’m so sorry… sometimes the worst things happen, and we wonder how we’re ever going to get through, but life continues. Then it hits us, and we’re back there again. I think there are some things in life that you never get over, but definitely seek professional help, because that will give you coping mechanisms.

Sending hugs… I hope you find the support you need.

Ash x

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