FabSwingers.com forum: A Question on Attraction

By *unandgamegeek OP Man
over a year ago

Bolton

Whether it's physical, mental or sexual attraction, is it a case of either you have it or you don't?

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

Yes, I think it is.

I can't always put my finger on the attraction to someone when it's there.

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By *unandgamegeek OP Man
over a year ago

Bolton

"Yes, I think it is.

I can't always put my finger on the attraction to someone when it's there. "

Sometimes I can't even tell what attraction I have.

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By *uxom redCouple
over a year ago

Shrewsbury

Yes, sometimes there's just something that draws you to a person.

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By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

No. I think it a learned behaviour for most and comes naturally to some

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

physical Is yes if you tick the box for the person or not

mental and personal can be built on the more you get to know someone

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not necessarily. As you get to know someone they can become a lot more attractive

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Whether it's physical, mental or sexual attraction, is it a case of either you have it or you don't?"

Attractions a funny one isnt it. In ways its black and white, the attractions there or its not.. but on the other hand attraction can blossom unexpectedly.

Mental attraction blossoms,

Immediate Physical attraction is instant,

Ive found time after time if im attracted to a woman in a group on a night out or wherever it may be, i always end up mentally attracted to her mate thats not my 'immediate' attraction. For me mental stimulation far outways physical and its a slow burner that grows

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Doesn't depend if your male or female as I thought if it has a pulse a guy is attracted to it and if your female attraction is based on a 100 point check list like the car adverts have which has to have been gone through at least 3 times and then read a profile through to the actual end ??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Finding someone attractive and being attracted to someone are two different things. I need more than looks to be attracted to someone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Whether it's physical, mental or sexual attraction, is it a case of either you have it or you don't?"

The instant physical one would fit with your theory. But I built up in the past the other ones by making mutual discoveries and taking time to explore someone's wants/desires. It was done with effort which did not feel like .. putting much effort in.

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

For sure have met some very handsome young men for coffee from here but just dont have that certain something! X

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By *ancer36Woman
over a year ago

Stirling

Finding someone attractive in a mental capacity is different to finding someone attractive in a physical capacity

You can be attracted to someones mind, there way of thinking, morals, randomness, humour and you can be attracted to someone’s physical assets

Sometimes one person doesn’t possess both.

If I’m solely attracted to someone mentality I’d say I find them interesting, if it’s physical I find them sexy or thoughts lead to sex. If I find someone ticks both boxes then jackpot!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Physical attraction is there or it's not for me. However, I can develop a sexual attraction for someone over time as I get to know their personality, especially if they make me laugh.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s either there or it’s not. I’ve had situations where I’ve been messaging with a guy and the chat is dynamite. Really good, funny, engaging, etc.

But then I meet them and just don’t feel the chemistry. It’s so dispiriting! And I should add that it’s not all about looks. But there just has to be something there.

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By *unandgamegeek OP Man
over a year ago

Bolton

Very interesting.

It's just I'm trying to decipher what kind of attractions people I've met in the past find in me.

When it comes to mental attraction, people have found me to be funny, chatty, friendly and respectful which I'm sure are good traits.

As for physical and sexual attraction, this is what I'm trying to figure out. My body may be on the hairy side and I was born with an indentation on my chest but not once have they put people off which I think is a good thing. I have been told on many occasions that I look cute which I've always taken as a compliment.

I would talk about other parts of my body that have people found physically and sexually attractive but that would be telling lol.

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By *odgerMooreMan
over a year ago

Carlisle

I know my attraction is more in person and I have no idea other than maybe because im confident? Not sure if it comes across in the right way here sometimes but Thats the Glory Of the internet…. No inflection or body language input - I have way more success in the real world but here has the advantage of a group of likeminded filthy perverts who im rather fond of. My attraction in

Person is definitely not because im a handsome hunk - also know that!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think a person has to have a good foundation to start with, that foundation is a handsome face. After that it’s how they treat you and make you feel that increases or decreases how attracted to them you are. You can also make someone more attractive by the amount of energy you put into them. I’m guilty of putting guys I fancy on a pedestal and in the past it’s made me blind to red flags and having boundaries for myself. When you kick the pedestal from under them and step onto it yourself you have a better view and can see them for what they really are.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think for physical attraction it’s instantly recognisable to you, the way they stir your imagination. I think mentally you can sometimes just instantly connect and be mesmerised by the way they chat with you, their interests and passions in life. It’s a magical feeling to find both together, especially when they feel the same.

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By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester

I think like friendship you have ‘your people’ and not.., for me it’s the same with attraction on all levels. They’re a yes or no on many factors.

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By * la carteCouple
over a year ago

Dublin

"Whether it's physical, mental or sexual attraction, is it a case of either you have it or you don't?"

Yes

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

There’s been a couple of women I’ve barely noticed and then when got to know them can’t believe how I didn’t notice how sexy they were. The opposite is true as well, so will e might look sexy at first impression but when they speak it drains away fast

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By *rivateparts!Man
over a year ago

Walking down the only road I've ever known!

I don't have it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I dont think it's always the case.

Probably most of the time it is, but I have certainly had people where attraction grew as I got to know them better

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

I think it depends on the person. Attraction works differently for different people. I've personally never had instant sexual attraction to someone and my overall physical attraction to other people varies at different times. Sometimes I'm easily attracted to other people, sometimes I just feel nothing for a while.

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By *2000ManMan
over a year ago

Worthing

Women have a 'type', men don't...in most cases. Online, women probably swipe right on about 5% of men. Men swipe right on about 95% of women to use Tinder as an example.

Always better to meet someone in person.

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

"Women have a 'type', men don't...in most cases. Online, women probably swipe right on about 5% of men. Men swipe right on about 95% of women to use Tinder as an example.

Always better to meet someone in person."

I don't have a type

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Women have a 'type', men don't...in most cases. Online, women probably swipe right on about 5% of men. Men swipe right on about 95% of women to use Tinder as an example.

Always better to meet someone in person.

I don't have a type"

niether do i

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By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

I need someone who stimulates my mind and well as my body x

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"Women have a 'type', men don't...in most cases. Online, women probably swipe right on about 5% of men. Men swipe right on about 95% of women to use Tinder as an example.

Always better to meet someone in person."

I don't have a physical type, but I do tend to be drawn towards a personality type.

Attraction for me is so multi faceted, there may be a physical attraction to start with but that can die so quickly. I tend to trust mental attraction more.

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By *andybeachWoman
over a year ago

In the middle

"Whether it's physical, mental or sexual attraction, is it a case of either you have it or you don't?"

It might be a case of you have it for some but not for everyone, it’s quite hard to quantify what makes someone attractive to us, you could put 100 men/women in a room with similar physical attributes but there might only be one that is actually attractive to you in every way, it’s not just looks or personality it might be that twinkle in their eye, the openness of their smile, who knows but it works

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By *uriousscouserWoman
over a year ago

Wirral

"I think like friendship you have ‘your people’ and not.., for me it’s the same with attraction on all levels. They’re a yes or no on many factors."

I'm the same. It's not always obvious to me why I fancy someone because it's a huge combination of things.

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