FabSwingers.com forum: I did the right thing

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

We were messaged, both last night and this morning by a single guy.

I have read many comments on the forums from single men, that they would appreciate a reply rather than a straightforward block.

So I replied, very politely with a No thank you.

They responded back with a thank you.

Half an hour later, he messaged again.

So I used the block button at this point.

Just now, he has messaged via a couples account! I responded, explaining that I'd been polite on his singles account. It's a no thank you from us.

In response, he sent a comment about us being messers and unfriendly!!

So.....to all the single men who get frustrated with an instant block and delete, I'm afraid it's this kind of person that leads us to it.

Humph

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By *uv2kissMan
over a year ago

fenland

It happens a lot.

If I message someone and they reply with a no thank you or read and delete I block them.

They obviously are not interested.

But some guys just don't get it.

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By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

I had a conversation last night with a friend about this topic..

I used to respond politely with a "sorry but no" type of message, then I'd get a barrage of messages back ranging from "why not" to being a "cocktease' etc etc...

Now it's sad to say but it is an instant block as I have no tolerance for grown men acting like spoilt brats x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Op. You’re right, there will always be people in the world that give you the right to have an opinion about someone before you know them. Life’s experiences I suppose.

I feel it’s a persons job on line to change peoples views of them after you start talking, and not before. First impressions are everything as well.

Actually, I’ve had a couple pf messages off blokes. And usually it’s good hearted banter, even if they do chat me up, and it’s apparent that it’s a waste of theirs and my time. But, guys, your not all bad dudes.

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By *arksjamesMan
over a year ago

Warwick

Nothing odder than folk, but we're not all the same - please keep replying, even if 'no thanks'. Brightens up the day xxxx

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By *imi_RougeWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

Or they set up a new account to msg you again...

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By *ewrocksWoman
over a year ago

button moon

I don't give a flying fudge who thinks it's rude not to reply, or to block, site FAQs state no reply=no thanks, and the block button is a site tool to be used.

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By *onnie 90Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

"Or they set up a new account to msg you again..."

That's kinda creepy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't give a flying fudge who thinks it's rude not to reply, or to block, site FAQs state no reply=no thanks, and the block button is a site tool to be used. "

This site has lots of tools….

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By *eyond PurityCouple
over a year ago

Laceby

We had one recently…

The ‘guy’ of a couple was free

…we politely declined.

He sent another asking where we were…we ignored as we’d said no.

He sent another saying he was free now…again we ignored and then he sent one saying ‘my missus has had a look at you and as you’ve met an old guy (we have a veri from a social) we aren’t interested’ then blocked us…

Some people clearly don’t like rejection

Same day I turned down a guy and signed off with my initial as I deal with most of our mail and single guys usually take rejection better from the guy…he came back with ‘oh, it would have been a different story if Mrs replied’ ….no, you weren’t for us full stop

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I read a few of these stories and just don't see why anyone thinks it's acceptable to fire abuse at folk. That's just me though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We were messaged, both last night and this morning by a single guy.

I have read many comments on the forums from single men, that they would appreciate a reply rather than a straightforward block.

So I replied, very politely with a No thank you.

They responded back with a thank you.

Half an hour later, he messaged again.

So I used the block button at this point.

Just now, he has messaged via a couples account! I responded, explaining that I'd been polite on his singles account. It's a no thank you from us.

In response, he sent a comment about us being messers and unfriendly!!

So.....to all the single men who get frustrated with an instant block and delete, I'm afraid it's this kind of person that leads us to it.

Humph

You did the right thing - sad that a small proportion of people have to ruin it for the rest. They’re too self obsessed. Don’t worry about it - you’ve blocked them and hopefully you won’t get anymore from them x

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By *hil most chillMan
over a year ago

Ask

You did the right thing. You didn't even owe him your original reply. I prefer an instant block and delete, rather than a "thanks but no thanks".

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bloody men

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Nothing odder than folk, but we're not all the same - please keep replying, even if 'no thanks'. Brightens up the day xxxx"

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

" Same day I turned down a guy and signed off with my initial as I deal with most of our mail and single guys usually take rejection better from the guy…he came back with ‘oh, it would have been a different story if Mrs replied’ ….no, you weren’t for us full stop

Wow, arrogant and naive! If you're like us, as a couple both of you have to agree to take anything further with someone. I guess the guy didn't realise that?! Or couldn't handle the rejection.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"You did the right thing - sad that a small proportion of people have to ruin it for the rest. They’re too self obsessed. Don’t worry about it - you’ve blocked them and hopefully you won’t get anymore from them x"

Thank you indeep x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"You did the right thing. You didn't even owe him your original reply. I prefer an instant block and delete, rather than a "thanks but no thanks"."

Thanks Phil. I think its interesting that you prefer the instant block. I dont think i have seen anyone say that before. Although it is reassuring to know. x

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By *uitednbooted2Man
over a year ago

Berkshire

OP yesterday I got a message from a couple from Scotland suggesting I fuck the lady while he videos. I said Thankyou but you are too far away. However I said if you’re ever in London get in touch. The reply I got was disgraceful calling me a fag and sad loser.

So OP bad behaviour is not the exclusive prevail of single guys it’s just we don’t come on the forums whining about couples and women

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"OP yesterday I got a message from a couple from Scotland suggesting I fuck the lady while he videos. I said Thankyou but you are too far away. However I said if you’re ever in London get in touch. The reply I got was disgraceful calling me a fag and sad loser.

So OP bad behaviour is not the exclusive prevail of single guys it’s just we don’t come on the forums whining about couples and women "

I am sorry that happened to you, it shouldn't have.

Not sure i deserved the little dig about whining on forums though! I wasn't actually whining. I was sharing my experience with others as i know its often a source of frustration for ALL Fab users. But you're entitled to interpret my comments as you choose.

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By *xydadbodMan
over a year ago

Milton keynes

So OP bad behaviour is not the exclusive prevail of single guys it’s just we don’t come on the forums whining about couples and women "

Wow, that's not on really.

Could it be that people are hiding behind screens to enable them to be so rude. I get rejected all the time but doesn't make me wanna be abusive because I was rejected. You just move on really

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By *tephTV67TV/TS
over a year ago

Cheshire

So OP bad behaviour is not the exclusive prevail of single guys it’s just we don’t come on the forums whining about couples and women "

Yet you shared your experience, so in effect doing the thing you’re complaining about

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By *heonix_flamesWoman
over a year ago

Midlands

Constantly being asked to explain why I’m saying no to people at the moment- I don’t find you attractive? Or you don’t fit my preferences? If I do reply I just get told I should give people a chance. I might just delete and block now like some people say.

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By *inkunicorn2021Woman
over a year ago

Downham Market

"I had a conversation last night with a friend about this topic..

I used to respond politely with a "sorry but no" type of message, then I'd get a barrage of messages back ranging from "why not" to being a "cocktease' etc etc...

This - just absolutely this. If I have been polite and said no don't keep messaging to chnage my mind or question why.

Now it's sad to say but it is an instant block as I have no tolerance for grown men acting like spoilt brats x"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think for some psychological reason, a no thank you cuts deeper than a straight forward block, for some men.

Some people just can't take rejection. Works both ways too.

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By *ilfCrumpet9Man
over a year ago

Wirral

"It happens a lot.

If I message someone and they reply with a no thank you or read and delete I block them.

They obviously are not interested.

But some guys just don't get it.

Yeah defo me too so this way I don't make a mistake of messaging them again

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That kind of response just reeks of entitlement, which is common in men who frequent sex/adult sites and, to be frank, the world at large.

Hate to bash blokes, but I do think it's symptomatic of a wider societal issue concerning men, sex and entitlement.

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By *layfulserfMan
over a year ago

Northolt

So sorry to hear that some women and couples are recieving grief for politely saying no.

I actually welcome rejection replies. It actually nice to know that you are not somebody's cup of tea, as a message left open can raise the hopes that you are still under consideration.

When ever I receive a 'thanks but no thanks' message I usually do two things, one thank them for the courteous reply and secondly to make a note on thier profile so that I don't contact them again.

NO means NO and those that have received these unpleasant messages have probably had a very lucky escape.

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By *uitednbooted2Man
over a year ago

Berkshire

So OP bad behaviour is not the exclusive prevail of single guys it’s just we don’t come on the forums whining about couples and women

Yet you shared your experience, so in effect doing the thing you’re complaining about

Not really no! I am making the point that shit behaviour is not exclusive to Single guys but here we are again with a thread titled Single Guys !!!

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

This is why most of us don't reply to messages we have no interest in op.

You did right blocking, some can't handle rejection and it's not exclusive to single men on here, some couples are as bad-I don't meet women so can't comment on those.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Yet you shared your experience, so in effect doing the thing you’re complaining about

Not really no! I am making the point that shit behaviour is not exclusive to Single guys but here we are again with a thread titled Single Guys !!! "

The thread is actually titled I did the right thing, not Single guys.

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By *tephTV67TV/TS
over a year ago

Cheshire

So OP bad behaviour is not the exclusive prevail of single guys it’s just we don’t come on the forums whining about couples and women

Yet you shared your experience, so in effect doing the thing you’re complaining about

Not really no! I am making the point that shit behaviour is not exclusive to Single guys but here we are again with a thread titled Single Guys !!! "

The thread title isn’t ‘Single Guys’ and it’s about the Ops experience with, get this ! one single guy. So yet again your point is mute.

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By *tephTV67TV/TS
over a year ago

Cheshire

Yet you shared your experience, so in effect doing the thing you’re complaining about

Not really no! I am making the point that shit behaviour is not exclusive to Single guys but here we are again with a thread titled Single Guys !!!

The thread is actually titled I did the right thing, not Single guys. "

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By *entleman JayMan
over a year ago

Wakefield

If someone replies with a “no thank you” or a “not for me” then I block them. That’s stops me messaging again.

It isn’t me taking my bat and ball home. I honestly don’t want to pester anyone.

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By *eyond PurityCouple
over a year ago

Laceby

Wow, arrogant and naive! If you're like us, as a couple both of you have to agree to take anything further with someone. I guess the guy didn't realise that?! Or couldn't handle the rejection. "

We state in our profile that both of us have to agree. We also know the type of person each other finds attractive so sometimes we don’t need to consult. Especially if they’ve just send a cock pic or have nothing on their profile.

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By *iger4uWoman
over a year ago

In my happy place

If you dont get a reply you get a warning message. Guys ignore it.

Block is the only option sometimes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you dont get a reply you get a warning message. Guys ignore it.

Block is the only option sometimes. "

'' Warning '' sounds a bit threatening and entitled...

No reply means for me lack of interest and after a few days I discard my message from the mail box. I'm not really scared of '' warnings''. Knowing that, I will try to push from now on, as I don't really get scared.

It sounds like a police warning, then' 'blocked' ', like I'm punished, or something.

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By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

"If you dont get a reply you get a warning message. Guys ignore it.

Block is the only option sometimes.

'' Warning '' sounds a bit threatening and entitled...

It sounds like a police warning, then' 'blocked' ', like I'm punished, or something. "

Oh you naughty boy

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By *agneto.Man
over a year ago

Bham

There are some weird folk around.

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