FabSwingers.com forum: Pragmatism

By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

How pragmatic are you before meeting people?

Do you get excited and hopeful before meets or do you wait to see what happens, preparing to possibly not meet?

Is it a kind of cynicism or is it just a reaction to how things can go at times?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I tend to meet out and about now so if I get stood up I can go do other things.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Most of my meets don't go past the social stage sadly, as I just don't feel attracted to most people in that way. So I go, expecting to chat to a like minded person and hopefully have fun. Anything more is a bonus and a huge surprise frankly!

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

I enjoy being excited and hopeful so would prefer to suffer the occasional disappointment. But saying that I'm also pragmatic so it's no big deal if there is disappointment.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Excited and hopeful, than step on the brake and get realistic and observant. Being too excited can bring disappointment.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always expect the least. I can't even trust family or friends to meet for a cuppa when they say - let alone strangers.

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By *uenevereWoman
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

I'm very pragmatic and have no preconceptions of possible outcomes, whether it's a social or club visit.

That doesn't mean I don't look forward to them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I only meet if I've made a decent connection in advance so I'm hopeful of a good social and haven't been disappointed. Don't think much beyond that as it depends how the social goes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m not sure about being pragmatic but I believe your intent determines whether you’ll meet or not.

If you want to meet someone and a meet is arranged if you just let the thought and idea go or think positively about it and certain that it will happen it will.

If you think negatively and your thoughts really really believe that nothing will come of it then nothing will.

Law of attraction is the law I follow. I can’t practice it very well because it’s hard to control your natural thoughts, but I understand it.

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By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester

If I get to the point of meeting someone then I like them as a human. It would only be for a brew and to put a face to the name anyway so any attraction would be a bonus but not essential. It’s very rare I feel full on attraction so I don’t expect anything

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By *entleman JayMan
over a year ago

Wakefield

Sadly Fab experience has taught me to not get exited till someone’s stood in front of me. That has taken a big part of the enjoyment out of meeting new people.

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By *ellhungvweMan
over a year ago

Cheltenham

I look forward to it but I also understand that life happens and so I try to not get upset if something happens that means it doesn’t happen or doesn’t go as planned.

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

I expect nothing and treat it as meeting a friend for a drink, if more comes of it great, if not I’ve still had a good time and a laugh

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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

In the past I’ve tended to view each social or meet as ‘Schrodingers meet’; existing in a state of both happening and not happening in an equal state until opening the box.

Perhaps it’s cynical but I’ve been let down before and it helps me to manage my expectations

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

I'm always hopeful that something will come out of it - whether that's friendship or the potential of more, it's the way I am. I tigger about excitedly. The pragmatic part of me does kick in and I remember that I don't really want to do sex stuff unless I'm friendly with someone but the excited part of me likes the chance to meet someone/two/three new.

I'm not sure if it's a cynicism but more a reality that things might not always end in all the sexing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I tend to meet out and about now so if I get stood up I can go do other things."

Who the devil would stand you up?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Always exciting meeting someone new, though I try not to have high expectations. Prefer to be pleasantly surprised than disappointed.

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By *hilloutMan
over a year ago

All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest

In the past when meeting someone I had gauged enough about them to be convinced we'd have a great time when meeting.

This certainty only increased my excitement the days preceding the meet. Fortunately my instincts were always correct. I think my genuine excitement and happiness at seeing the other person put them at ease when finally face to face and made for a much better encounter

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Get excited for a meet it’s why when I get let down I get so bummed out

In the past I pulled profiles because off it

Thrown everything away glad I stoped doing that one

Also probably let a good amount have a bang at me that I wouldn’t normally have meet

Because off being let down

You know get let down and just so I don’t feel bad just let any random have a bang

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Pragmatic. I've never been stood up by a Fab person for a social or a meet, both as a single and as a couple. Met loads of people. Really no idea why it's gone so well.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Always exciting meeting someone new, though I try not to have high expectations. Prefer to be pleasantly surprised than disappointed."

I think that’s a fair mindset

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By *litreMan
over a year ago

everywhere

Only thing I hope for is meeting a nice, good person. Everything there after is a bonus.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I go expecting nothing. Saves grief when you don't get on or, they are not what they portray!

Is an absolute bonus when they are great though! Males the whole experience extra!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If it's someone I've met before - then I get excited about meeting them again. If it's someone new - I only half expect them to turn up having had a few no shows.

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By *ily WhiteWoman
over a year ago

I'm pragmatic in general, so I guess that's just carried over into Fab life. I was always excited for meets...I've never been let down though, so maybe I would have felt differently if I ever had.

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By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

I'm only meeting my longterm playmates atm so I get hopelessly over excited to see them

A cuppa social is more of a sedate affair

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I need to clarify what pragmatic means first. Dictionary time

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

I don't give it much thought beforehand. That's due to suffering from Anhedonia so I don't get excited or nervous about anything I do fab related or otherwise.

Luckily I don't have the most extreme symptoms so I am always present and in the moment when I'm with someone.

I don't have any expectations on my fab journey anyway so if I meet someone socially and nothing else happens I'm perfectly ok with that.

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By *imi_RougeWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

"Sadly Fab experience has taught me to not get exited till someone’s stood in front of me. That has taken a big part of the enjoyment out of meeting new people. "

I agree with this. Been let down far too often!

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By *imi_RougeWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

"In the past I’ve tended to view each social or meet as ‘Schrodingers meet’; existing in a state of both happening and not happening in an equal state until opening the box.

Perhaps it’s cynical but I’ve been let down before and it helps me to manage my expectations "

Ha ha yes!! Definitely this.

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

I have ridiculous anxiety about people anyway, so regardless of any excitement I may feel that tends to pale into the background.

I've been excited about the few people I've met this year though, and the anxiety has just gone when I actually met them.

Although I've had to be talked down from cancelling last minute due to being terrified each time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I need to clarify what pragmatic means first. Dictionary time

Never Google anything you read on here!

(bluewaffle)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If/when I do I would be as nervous as heck!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can be pragmatic or I can also be a bundle of nerves or also really excited. It depends on the dynamic and the person or people I was meeting and how I felt about myself at the time.

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