FabSwingers.com mobile

Join us FREE, we're FREE to use

Web's largest swingers site since 2006.

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to The Lounge

Soul searching - Challenge

Jump to newest
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Speaking to a couple of wise friends here made my mind wander off to a subject of challenge vs comfort.

Do you run towards the challenges? Or do you take pathway of "easy" wins? Do you feel most yourself when things get hard and your power comes from overcoming them or happy and settled in your comfort zone without the need to push things further each day?

Off to you.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *neakypeaky30Man
over a year ago

Midlands

I realised years ago i was in the easy lane. So i started challenging myself every now and then. At work, with physical training, mental challenges......anything from applyng for jobs i liked, running a tough mudder or learning magic

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Easy lane. Unfulfilled. Swapped to the harder lane, feel more alive

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I realised years ago i was in the easy lane. So i started challenging myself every now and then. At work, with physical training, mental challenges......anything from applyng for jobs i liked, running a tough mudder or learning magic "

Easy lane didn't suit you then. Did that work out for you? The switch to a more difficult trail ?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

Delightful Bliss

I need and look for the challenges, having it easy bores me

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Easy lane. Unfulfilled. Swapped to the harder lane, feel more alive "

On that note. How was the concert?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I need and look for the challenges, having it easy bores me "

Predictability of an easy lane does not sustain my interest either. I need twists and turns. Clearly.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *tue555Man
over a year ago

Passed Beyond Reach

I have never taken the easy route always faced challenges, even amidst opposition and abuse. Consitant and for most part unwavering. Have made a success of many things and been the target of much envy. I'm sure many people here are now eye-rolling.

All this I'd still take the tough road, not getinto saying what i think people want to hear or do because it's the easy way.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *neakypeaky30Man
over a year ago

Midlands


"I realised years ago i was in the easy lane. So i started challenging myself every now and then. At work, with physical training, mental challenges......anything from applyng for jobs i liked, running a tough mudder or learning magic

Easy lane didn't suit you then. Did that work out for you? The switch to a more difficult trail ? "

Can be hit or miss but when you succeed at anything challenging it feels good so i keep doing it

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I have never taken the easy route always faced challenges, even amidst opposition and abuse. Consitant and for most part unwavering. Have made a success of many things and been the target of much envy. I'm sure many people here are now eye-rolling.

All this I'd still take the tough road, not getinto saying what i think people want to hear or do because it's the easy way.

"

You could also say its a peaceful way. And peace sometimes is harder to maintain than state of constant war.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Easy lane. Unfulfilled. Swapped to the harder lane, feel more alive

On that note. How was the concert? "

Ooo I forgot about that. Yeah had loads of fun thanks. Folk really enjoyed it so all great

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I need and look for the challenges, having it easy bores me "

Have you tried meeting a fab hidden profile with no pictures

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I realised years ago i was in the easy lane. So i started challenging myself every now and then. At work, with physical training, mental challenges......anything from applyng for jobs i liked, running a tough mudder or learning magic

Easy lane didn't suit you then. Did that work out for you? The switch to a more difficult trail ?

Can be hit or miss but when you succeed at anything challenging it feels good so i keep doing it "

When it hits.. it hits good I assume makes up for all the tripping before when you climb the top.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Easy lane. Unfulfilled. Swapped to the harder lane, feel more alive

On that note. How was the concert?

Ooo I forgot about that. Yeah had loads of fun thanks. Folk really enjoyed it so all great "

Brilliant hope there are others to come.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am personally of the opinion that everything in life is possible to achieve if you want it bad enough and are prepared to make sacrifices to achieve it.

I will always run towards a challenge

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I need and look for the challenges, having it easy bores me

Have you tried meeting a fab hidden profile with no pictures "

Still better than open profile which does not say they aren't meeting just fooling around and full of outdated pics.. aka ohbollocks

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You make an important point above ^. Some people are drawn to conflict and complication and confuse this with overcoming obstacles when they are often the ones who have created them in the first place !

I love an adventure or a challenge but there needs to be a joy and a flow as well as the work involved.

Easy or hard road, it's always best to head for the light.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

Delightful Bliss


"I need and look for the challenges, having it easy bores me

Have you tried meeting a fab hidden profile with no pictures "

Yes

We had a wonderful relationship for 2 years

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"You make an important point above ^. Some people are drawn to conflict and complication and confuse this with overcoming obstacles when they are often the ones who have created them in the first place !

I love an adventure or a challenge but there needs to be a joy and a flow as well as the work involved.

Easy or hard road, it's always best to head for the light. "

It's not good to be a servant of any pattern. Chains and blinds you.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I am personally of the opinion that everything in life is possible to achieve if you want it bad enough and are prepared to make sacrifices to achieve it.

I will always run towards a challenge"

I don't subscribe to anything can be achieved. We have some limitations. But it's always worth a try

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well I am a red head apparently we don’t have Souls

I strive and thrive on pushing my self and the limits off what can be done

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

depends on my mood / frame of mind.

generally i like comfort, because i can't deal with change.

but history dictates that overcoming challenges and taking the hard route, proving people wrong, is my go to Px

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester

Historically yes I have always been very driven. However, right now I need balance and peace. Just some quiet status quo and calm.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I am personally of the opinion that everything in life is possible to achieve if you want it bad enough and are prepared to make sacrifices to achieve it.

I will always run towards a challenge

I don't subscribe to anything can be achieved. We have some limitations. But it's always worth a try "

You just have to work hard on developing a limitless mind. Listen to Jim Kwik for some great tips on this and combine it with the law of attraction

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *2000ManMan
over a year ago

Worthing

I like to challenge myself by saving money and doing things myself or getting items which do. Tech building, making use of cheaper/older parts for example which do the job.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *tue555Man
over a year ago

Passed Beyond Reach


"I have never taken the easy route always faced challenges, even amidst opposition and abuse. Consitant and for most part unwavering. Have made a success of many things and been the target of much envy. I'm sure many people here are now eye-rolling.

All this I'd still take the tough road, not getinto saying what i think people want to hear or do because it's the easy way.

You could also say its a peaceful way. And peace sometimes is harder to maintain than state of constant war. "

Isn't that why peace is harder to maintain, because it requires compliance, subservience, compromise.

Peace is often at someone else's behest and often one sided. So is peace, to take the easy way of less confrontation and acceptance maybe lose some of yourself in the process. Thus why harder to maintain uess you give yourself over to the will of others.

Isn't this the essence of the thread , whether you strive or challenge or submit because it is easier.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *evil-AngelWoman
over a year ago

...

Generally, I enjoy a challenge and the sense of achievement that comes with that.

There are times where a bit of peace and quiet in my comfort zone is a welcome break from everyday life though.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

I'm after the peace Lane. Here's the thing tho, the peace Lane is right at the very end of the hard route, which looks like the easy route.

Confused? Well, I'm stuck on the "easy" route because I'm too scared of failing to take the difficult route. But the easy route is actually the hard one because the self discovery of the "why" I'm afraid turns up so much internal work that needs to be done. It's an ongoing path of trudgery, triggers, fear, and isn't as safe as it may look. Analysing decisions and whys, facing what has been and what may be as a result, knowing without the work you're limited but the work being so painful and frightening. Stuck in a place where you think you're getting somewhere and fall back into the same cycles without knowing where.

It ain't easy.

It ain't easy by a long shot.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ancer36Woman
over a year ago

Stirling

I’m extremely driven, I have short and long term goals for personal growth and I give myself timescales in which to achieve them, it keeps me focused and gives me a sense of accomplishment when I reach them.

Self improvement is always at the forefront of my mind xx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

Very much stay in my comfort zone. I have enough anxiety.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *acDreamyMan
over a year ago

Wirral

I get bored quickly if things are too easy.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

Í had 49 years of running towards the challenges that were facing others and always saw that as my strength and superpower.

My batteries were completely drained as a result and are now on a trickle charge. I still tackle challenges but only ones I set myself.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I much prefer when life just ticks along nicely

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ildmanYorksMan
over a year ago

Doncaster & Bembridge

It depends on the situation. If there's an easy route to the solution I'll take it. Sometimes I need to challenge myself to achieve the aim (I did a parachute jump and have flown a light aircraft). I eventually learned to swim in my 40s, something I thought I'd never do!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ve never really had the easy lane, always been faced with challenges from joining the army at 18. To finally hanging up my body armour at 46 from being a PMC

I’ve climbed mountains metaphorically and personally,

It’s nice to enjoy being at home now, and the challenge is always being there for my daughter and trying to build a life with someone I enjoying being with. Life’s been a rollercoaster of excitement, sometimes the good kind and the bad. There’s been joy and sad loss.

I still look for a challenge though and I’ll relish them, but instead of me trying to out lift, out run and out perform the young generation of guys in my field. now they are for pure pleasure and enjoyment. A few weeks back I got to experience one of my earliest achievements of conquering a mountain. But this time I got to see it in someone else’s eyes and see the face of enjoyment I must have had when I climbed my first one.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm after the peace Lane. Here's the thing tho, the peace Lane is right at the very end of the hard route, which looks like the easy route.

Confused? Well, I'm stuck on the "easy" route because I'm too scared of failing to take the difficult route. But the easy route is actually the hard one because the self discovery of the "why" I'm afraid turns up so much internal work that needs to be done. It's an ongoing path of trudgery, triggers, fear, and isn't as safe as it may look. Analysing decisions and whys, facing what has been and what may be as a result, knowing without the work you're limited but the work being so painful and frightening. Stuck in a place where you think you're getting somewhere and fall back into the same cycles without knowing where.

It ain't easy.

It ain't easy by a long shot."

Slightly less pithy and sweary than your usual posts PP but as so often an excellent point. I think you have got it smack on, avoiding challenge is avoiding putting ourselves in pain. That can be obvious like avoiding the physical pain and effort of training hard or the less obvious mental pain of exposing your heart or challenging your own behaviours and beliefs.

Also, if we don't continually push against the walls of our comfort zones those walls have a habit of shrinking ever closer until the slightest challenge becomes a source of fear.

Big hug for you and I hope you find all the strength you need.

Mr

X

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Okay op. If things were easy for me, they don’t seem worth it. Some of my hardest struggles are for what my heart desires most, and it’s a hard pill to swallow when I lose. (An Aries trait apparently )

Choosing an easy win? Not for me. Example - I’d rather beat someone at their A-game than win because of them being disqualified, football-gaming etc.

Somethings feel worth a lot more when I had to fight for what I wanted.

But, I also see people take the easy road and I know that would feel so much more comfortable sometimes, and I admire their choice, happier at a quicker speed maybe.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *uriousscouserWoman
over a year ago

Wirral

I used to be a striver. I would push myself to my limits in work and outside. I was constantly doing courses, getting qualifications, looking for the next big challenge and the next big leap of faith. I didn't do anything just for the pleasure of it - even swimming was training for the marathon swims I used to do.

Then one day I met a real slacker of a guy with a completely opposing world view. He was very happy to drift along, and as long as he had enough money to pay his dealer each month he wasn't arsed about anything more.

He was quietly amused by my lifestyle but couldn't see what enjoyment it was giving me or what the purpose of it all was.

I was with him for a few years and watching his calm enjoyment of each day really did make me reconsider my priorities.

I enjoy a challenge still, I like to feel that I've stepped up and achieved, but I don't live on a treadmill any more. I take a lot more time for just enjoying where I am, and I let myself drift a little bit more than I used to. I don't feel a need to prove myself any more, I'd rather enjoy the brief time I get on this earth instead.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *nliveneTV/TS
over a year ago

Selby

Every day of my life is a challenge

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I am personally of the opinion that everything in life is possible to achieve if you want it bad enough and are prepared to make sacrifices to achieve it.

I will always run towards a challenge

I don't subscribe to anything can be achieved. We have some limitations. But it's always worth a try "

Totally agree with this and I believe that the constant preaching of this idea in media and adverts is very harmful. If you can be anything you want if you just try hard enough it means that those who don't get what they want are simply not trying enough. This makes it easy to believe we deserve the good things in our lives and those who don't have them only have them selves to blame. It is quite possible to work incredibly hard all your life and not achieve your goals or get anywhere near as far as others. Tiny statistical advantages accumulate to make significant changes to outcomes

https://youtu.be/3LopI4YeC4I

Mr

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm constantly challenging myself and taking on too much. Sometimes I really wish I'd set myself slightly easier goals!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh golly i guess a splendid mix of both

I do love a challenge , im not afraid of the occasional slip. Its how we learn and grow

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Like to challenge myself every now and again to make sure I'm still alive...2 day enduro mtd race (not raced in 20 years) was the last big one and a bungee jump last weekend...both amazing

Mr

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A bit of both, always trying to tease myself out of the easy route and challenge myself. I think I can also be guilty of pushing myself too much sometimes, especially with some of the health and wellbeing avenues I've explored over the years... all kinds of fasts and abstinence. Got a way more balanced outlook nowadays thankfully.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Well I am a red head apparently we don’t have Souls

I strive and thrive on pushing my self and the limits off what can be done "

You seem to me quite soulful personality;-)

I am glad that challenges became your life's fuel.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lately I’m pushing way past my comfort zones with regard work and life challenges.

Will it pay off…

So far, at least, I’m much happier.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I am personally of the opinion that everything in life is possible to achieve if you want it bad enough and are prepared to make sacrifices to achieve it.

I will always run towards a challenge

I don't subscribe to anything can be achieved. We have some limitations. But it's always worth a try

Totally agree with this and I believe that the constant preaching of this idea in media and adverts is very harmful. If you can be anything you want if you just try hard enough it means that those who don't get what they want are simply not trying enough. This makes it easy to believe we deserve the good things in our lives and those who don't have them only have them selves to blame. It is quite possible to work incredibly hard all your life and not achieve your goals or get anywhere near as far as others. Tiny statistical advantages accumulate to make significant changes to outcomes

https://youtu.be/3LopI4YeC4I

Mr"

Outliers by Gladwell mentions similar theory. I'll check out the link, thanks.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"depends on my mood / frame of mind.

generally i like comfort, because i can't deal with change.

but history dictates that overcoming challenges and taking the hard route, proving people wrong, is my go to Px "

You deal with change every day no? Micro changes.. nothing stays really the same. Maybe you just refuse to acknowledge that you're capable of it.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I am personally of the opinion that everything in life is possible to achieve if you want it bad enough and are prepared to make sacrifices to achieve it.

I will always run towards a challenge

I don't subscribe to anything can be achieved. We have some limitations. But it's always worth a try

Totally agree with this and I believe that the constant preaching of this idea in media and adverts is very harmful. If you can be anything you want if you just try hard enough it means that those who don't get what they want are simply not trying enough. This makes it easy to believe we deserve the good things in our lives and those who don't have them only have them selves to blame. It is quite possible to work incredibly hard all your life and not achieve your goals or get anywhere near as far as others. Tiny statistical advantages accumulate to make significant changes to outcomes

https://youtu.be/3LopI4YeC4I

Mr

Outliers by Gladwell mentions similar theory. I'll check out the link, thanks. "

The compound effect it’s just one tool that should be used

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Historically yes I have always been very driven. However, right now I need balance and peace. Just some quiet status quo and calm. "

It's a bit sinusoidal isn't it. But you are very much in tune with your needs and that self awareness is maybe goal in itself. Capability of adjustment.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I am personally of the opinion that everything in life is possible to achieve if you want it bad enough and are prepared to make sacrifices to achieve it.

I will always run towards a challenge

I don't subscribe to anything can be achieved. We have some limitations. But it's always worth a try

You just have to work hard on developing a limitless mind. Listen to Jim Kwik for some great tips on this and combine it with the law of attraction"

I'll have a look but intuitively it does not sit well with me. Same as concept of being always happy.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *oubleswing2019Man
over a year ago

Colchester

Easy all the way. I like routine and comfort, bordering on the decadent. Zero stress is my happy place.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

Saw this this morning and it's taken this long to reply. I don't think we soul search on purpose I think it kind occurs when the situation arises.

As for running or not towards challenges. Again I kind of think it depends on so many circumstances. Some things we're confident about and will and charge towards it and other we are not and require more of a measured approach. And sometimes you get thrown in the deep end and you have to sort it else you'll drown. I don't think it's a one size fits all kind of thing.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ntrigued32Couple
over a year ago

Nottingham

I like a challenge. Always have.

However I tend to not run towards anything purely because my body won't allow me to.

So the challenges I now face are more important. I suppose some would say they are not challenges but they don't know what it takes to do the things that others take for granted.

Do you know what I mean?!

Jo.Xx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Saw this this morning and it's taken this long to reply. I don't think we soul search on purpose I think it kind occurs when the situation arises.

As for running or not towards challenges. Again I kind of think it depends on so many circumstances. Some things we're confident about and will and charge towards it and other we are not and require more of a measured approach. And sometimes you get thrown in the deep end and you have to sort it else you'll drown. I don't think it's a one size fits all kind of thing. "

It's just my standard title theme for questioning/reflective posts of mine.. "Soul searching".

I found that running towards things that scare me has been very.. for the lack of better word - detoxing experience! Cleansing assumptions I made about my own abilities?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I like to challenge myself by saving money and doing things myself or getting items which do. Tech building, making use of cheaper/older parts for example which do the job. "

That's great ! I often wish I was more manually talented in more practical areas. My grandparents were amazing like that. Sign of a generation perhaps and difficult regime they lived in.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land


"Saw this this morning and it's taken this long to reply. I don't think we soul search on purpose I think it kind occurs when the situation arises.

As for running or not towards challenges. Again I kind of think it depends on so many circumstances. Some things we're confident about and will and charge towards it and other we are not and require more of a measured approach. And sometimes you get thrown in the deep end and you have to sort it else you'll drown. I don't think it's a one size fits all kind of thing.

It's just my standard title theme for questioning/reflective posts of mine.. "Soul searching".

I found that running towards things that scare me has been very.. for the lack of better word - detoxing experience! Cleansing assumptions I made about my own abilities? "

Now you mention it, yes you do don't you

I hear you, I sometimes have a fuck it what's the worst that is happen occasionally. Sometimes it pays off sometimes it doesn't. I always think it's good to push our own perception of ourselves. Sometimes it's baby steps and others a pole vault across the abyss

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I have never taken the easy route always faced challenges, even amidst opposition and abuse. Consitant and for most part unwavering. Have made a success of many things and been the target of much envy. I'm sure many people here are now eye-rolling.

All this I'd still take the tough road, not getinto saying what i think people want to hear or do because it's the easy way.

You could also say its a peaceful way. And peace sometimes is harder to maintain than state of constant war.

Isn't that why peace is harder to maintain, because it requires compliance, subservience, compromise.

Peace is often at someone else's behest and often one sided. So is peace, to take the easy way of less confrontation and acceptance maybe lose some of yourself in the process. Thus why harder to maintain uess you give yourself over to the will of others.

Isn't this the essence of the thread , whether you strive or challenge or submit because it is easier."

I would not call easy lane a submissive choice. Its just picking your battles. Or choosing to stay away from them, leaving others to fight for the "feeling of righteousness" or using someone's else metaphor- being on treadmill. Their own or made up by others.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Well I am a red head apparently we don’t have Souls

I strive and thrive on pushing my self and the limits off what can be done

You seem to me quite soulful personality;-)

I am glad that challenges became your life's fuel. "

Awww thank you so much

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Generally, I enjoy a challenge and the sense of achievement that comes with that.

There are times where a bit of peace and quiet in my comfort zone is a welcome break from everyday life though."

Can't feel like in a hamster wheel every day. Unless you are adrenaline addict

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester


"Historically yes I have always been very driven. However, right now I need balance and peace. Just some quiet status quo and calm.

It's a bit sinusoidal isn't it. But you are very much in tune with your needs and that self awareness is maybe goal in itself. Capability of adjustment. "

Too many years of battle. Peace is important sometimes I’ll fight again when I’m ready.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I'm after the peace Lane. Here's the thing tho, the peace Lane is right at the very end of the hard route, which looks like the easy route.

Confused? Well, I'm stuck on the "easy" route because I'm too scared of failing to take the difficult route. But the easy route is actually the hard one because the self discovery of the "why" I'm afraid turns up so much internal work that needs to be done. It's an ongoing path of trudgery, triggers, fear, and isn't as safe as it may look. Analysing decisions and whys, facing what has been and what may be as a result, knowing without the work you're limited but the work being so painful and frightening. Stuck in a place where you think you're getting somewhere and fall back into the same cycles without knowing where.

It ain't easy.

It ain't easy by a long shot."

I admit I am slightly confused !

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I’m extremely driven, I have short and long term goals for personal growth and I give myself timescales in which to achieve them, it keeps me focused and gives me a sense of accomplishment when I reach them.

Self improvement is always at the forefront of my mind xx"

What happens if you don't stick to timeliness? Are you hard on yourself ?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My work is massively challenging, so outside of work a lot of the time I like to take things easy. I still like a challenge every now and again though.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My motivation has changed throughout my life. There was a time when I didn't give a damn about anything. I had a job I was able to breeze through. I never took any risk. I was borderline nihilistic at that time.

After a few years, I found out that living like that was just boring. I consciously decided to take a tougher route and challenge myself and that's where I am at. I am enjoying it so far. Again, I might decide that it's all enough and go back to hibernation soon.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"My work is massively challenging, so outside of work a lot of the time I like to take things easy. I still like a challenge every now and again though. "

It's a good balance. Doesn't have to be all or nothing.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"My motivation has changed throughout my life. There was a time when I didn't give a damn about anything. I had a job I was able to breeze through. I never took any risk. I was borderline nihilistic at that time.

After a few years, I found out that living like that was just boring. I consciously decided to take a tougher route and challenge myself and that's where I am at. I am enjoying it so far. Again, I might decide that it's all enough and go back to hibernation soon."

People who don't care about anything significant and chose to be passive- I don't understand. But it's different from seeking peace and serenity.

And I believe we can always change our mind.. be flexible.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *iamondCougarWoman
over a year ago

Norfuck! / Lincolnshire

Hey Rose!

Both! I need a daily challenge in my working role which I have. I prefer the easier ( not the same as easy) approach in home life. Best of both worlds id say!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Hey Rose!

Both! I need a daily challenge in my working role which I have. I prefer the easier ( not the same as easy) approach in home life. Best of both worlds id say! "

Something has to give right otherwise we would drain ourselves empty.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *eeBee67Man
over a year ago

Masked and Distant

Challenges all the way.

Love the sense of achievement in beating a challenge.

If was easy anyone could have done it.

At school my music teacher said "you'll never make a musucian". I took that as a challenge.

Performed all over UK and Europe for crowds of upto 65,000, and still going strong.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ildbillkidMan
over a year ago

where the road goes on forever

Since i've retired i'm enjoying the easy, take it as it comes

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What a fascinating thread, .

I've had everything in my life turned upside down in the last four years - my relationships, work, kids, sexuality. So many challenges. I don't back down from them, but I don't find that I need to actively seek them. But I do follow my own curiosity about myself and my world. I have little interest in 'achievements', but I do care about self-knowledge.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Challenges all the way.

Love the sense of achievement in beating a challenge.

If was easy anyone could have done it.

At school my music teacher said "you'll never make a musucian". I took that as a challenge.

Performed all over UK and Europe for crowds of upto 65,000, and still going strong. "

Ah.. you are head strong one! I just shrug my arms and do my thing. I don't have to prove anything to anyone but myself.

It's amazing how a comment can stick with us for years and alter our course of actions. I recall some of my teachers and family too. Not always constructive. Not sure if all were helpful. But glad you made the most of it. Hope that teacher was made aware of how far you have come?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Very much stay in my comfort zone. I have enough anxiety. "

I get it. But I also think that avoiding any anxiety (which is part of life) holds us back a little ?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What a fascinating thread, .

I've had everything in my life turned upside down in the last four years - my relationships, work, kids, sexuality. So many challenges. I don't back down from them, but I don't find that I need to actively seek them. But I do follow my own curiosity about myself and my world. I have little interest in 'achievements', but I do care about self-knowledge.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I get bored quickly if things are too easy. "

What about when things get too hard ? If they ever do that is

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Balence in all things never comes from chasing the ends of any spectrum. There's a time to sow and a time to reap. Perhaps the real wisdom is having that inner peace and knowledge of which is which and applying ourselves to both challenges and just letting the world go by in that manner that brings us each the contentment we may seek...

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *partharmonyCouple
over a year ago

Ruislip

I don't feel any need to challenge myself for the sake of it. If there is something I want to do and it's hard, that won't put me off, but it won't be the reason for doing it. Life is full of challenges I can't avoid. I don't need to go looking for new ones. Luke

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West


"I am personally of the opinion that everything in life is possible to achieve if you want it bad enough and are prepared to make sacrifices to achieve it.

I will always run towards a challenge

I don't subscribe to anything can be achieved. We have some limitations. But it's always worth a try

You just have to work hard on developing a limitless mind. Listen to Jim Kwik for some great tips on this and combine it with the law of attraction"

Nope, there are definitely some things that some people can't do, no matter how much they develop a limitless mind or think positively or whatever.

And to answer the OP, I've never had it easy in life, so actually have no idea what it's like. So, my answer is the one about a challenge

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I'll have a read today through through the replies. I am truly touched by the depth of the answers and your sharing. Thank you so much ! Will post my reflections sometime later x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"What a fascinating thread, .

I've had everything in my life turned upside down in the last four years - my relationships, work, kids, sexuality. So many challenges. I don't back down from them, but I don't find that I need to actively seek them. But I do follow my own curiosity about myself and my world. I have little interest in 'achievements', but I do care about self-knowledge. "

This has really made me smile !

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What a fascinating thread, .

I've had everything in my life turned upside down in the last four years - my relationships, work, kids, sexuality. So many challenges. I don't back down from them, but I don't find that I need to actively seek them. But I do follow my own curiosity about myself and my world. I have little interest in 'achievements', but I do care about self-knowledge.

This has really made me smile ! "

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
Post new Message to Thread
back to top