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"No. You aren't attracted to trans women. Fair enough. It doesn't make you anything phobic. " Thank you for your answer. But if I believe that trans women are women, and if I am sexually attracted to women, there are two possibilities for me I guess; I am not believing trans women are women in the deep or I am transphobic because I dont find those people sexually attractive because of their choices. If trans women are women, why do I not feel the attraction? | |||
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"No. You aren't attracted to trans women. Fair enough. It doesn't make you anything phobic. Thank you for your answer. But if I believe that trans women are women, and if I am sexually attracted to women, there are two possibilities for me I guess; I am not believing trans women are women in the deep or I am transphobic because I dont find those people sexually attractive because of their choices. If trans women are women, why do I not feel the attraction?" Do you fancy every woman in the world? Maybe it's just that you don't fancy that person.  | |||
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"No. You aren't attracted to trans women. Fair enough. It doesn't make you anything phobic. If trans women are women, why do I not feel the attraction? Do you fancy every woman in the world? Maybe it's just that you don't fancy that person. "That would be a possibility of course. But what would be your thought if I dont find any transgender woman attractive? For example, I enjoyed a lot when I went out with a mtf, I would definitely fuck her, if she wasnt a transgender. | |||
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"You can differentiate between acknowledging someone's social gender and what uou find biologically attractive. It's not transphobic. " That is a good answer. I was accused being a transphobic because I did not want to fuck with her. Made me feel bad. Thanks a lot for your answers | |||
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"You can differentiate between acknowledging someone's social gender and what uou find biologically attractive. It's not transphobic. That is a good answer. I was accused being a transphobic because I did not want to fuck with her. Made me feel bad. Thanks a lot for your answers "Some people get arsey when they get turned down. Just ignore them. | |||
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"You can differentiate between acknowledging someone's social gender and what uou find biologically attractive. It's not transphobic. That is a good answer. I was accused being a transphobic because I did not want to fuck with her. Made me feel bad. Thanks a lot for your answers
Some people get arsey when they get turned down. Just ignore them. "I generally do
But this one made me question myself. What if they are right? | |||
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"I don’t think it’s being transphobic, just not your flavour of woman. Like I’m sure some might not find fat women their flavour woman, or oriental women their flavour … it’s kinda similar. There’s some pre notion on why we might not like certain things in people, for example. I am not attracted to men who are chubby or have a very obvious dad bod. Never been attracted to any sort of fat, not on me or others. But it could be due to the environment where I grew up where it was VERY stigmatised. So I wonder if I drag it with me since childhood.. Could be the same for trans women(like me) and the concept of how I was born might put you off.. which is fine! "Not attracted to fat people is a bit different from my case tho, I think. The same, if you dont find shorter people attractive for example. For my case, I find them not attractive not because of their appearance but because of their nature. That is the thing confuses me. Another example, if I tell that I dont black people attractive, I would be a racist. Because, I am judging black people according the their colour. I cannot differentiate between not liking a black person and not liking a transgender. | |||
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"One of the most beautiful women I ever kissed was trans. But after a few lovely kisses she told me she had a boyfriend. She seemed genuinely gutted to be telling me too which was the most disappointing thing "Sorry to hear this. What do you think about my question? | |||
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"I don’t think it’s being transphobic, just not your flavour of woman. Like I’m sure some might not find fat women their flavour woman, or oriental women their flavour … it’s kinda similar. There’s some pre notion on why we might not like certain things in people, for example. I am not attracted to men who are chubby or have a very obvious dad bod. Never been attracted to any sort of fat, not on me or others. But it could be due to the environment where I grew up where it was VERY stigmatised. So I wonder if I drag it with me since childhood.. Could be the same for trans women(like me) and the concept of how I was born might put you off.. which is fine!
Not attracted to fat people is a bit different from my case tho, I think. The same, if you dont find shorter people attractive for example.
For my case, I find them not attractive not because of their appearance but because of their nature. That is the thing confuses me.
Another example, if I tell that I dont black people attractive, I would be a racist. Because, I am judging black people according the their colour. I cannot differentiate between not liking a black person and not liking a transgender. "Im just saying that there’s pre convinced notion that sometimes we carry from whatever reason that might shape what we find or not attractive. Again, I give example that there’s no way that I’m turned on by fat/chubby guys . Is there a thing as a fat phobia? God knows!! I’d say it’s my preference but in that case I might be on the same page as you when it comes to transgender women. | |||
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"I don’t think it’s being transphobic, just not your flavour of woman. Like I’m sure some might not find fat women their flavour woman, or oriental women their flavour … it’s kinda similar. There’s some pre notion on why we might not like certain things in people, for example. I am not attracted to men who are chubby or have a very obvious dad bod. Never been attracted to any sort of fat, not on me or others. But it could be due to the environment where I grew up where it was VERY stigmatised. So I wonder if I drag it with me since childhood.. Could be the same for trans women(like me) and the concept of how I was born might put you off.. which is fine!
Not attracted to fat people is a bit different from my case tho, I think. The same, if you dont find shorter people attractive for example.
For my case, I find them not attractive not because of their appearance but because of their nature. That is the thing confuses me.
Another example, if I tell that I dont black people attractive, I would be a racist. Because, I am judging black people according the their colour. I cannot differentiate between not liking a black person and not liking a transgender.
Im just saying that there’s pre convinced notion that sometimes we carry from whatever reason that might shape what we find or not attractive.
Again, I give example that there’s no way that I’m turned on by fat/chubby guys . Is there a thing as a fat phobia? God knows!! I’d say it’s my preference but in that case I might be on the same page as you when it comes to transgender women. "Fuck. Probably. I just dont get it. I mean phobia is harsh word for our case. You or I do not hate anyone, just dont prefer to do certain thing. I should definitely read about this topic a lot. But, I am sure there is something like fatphobia or another name for it :D
Thanks for your answers anyway.
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"I don’t think it’s being transphobic, just not your flavour of woman. Like I’m sure some might not find fat women their flavour woman, or oriental women their flavour … it’s kinda similar. There’s some pre notion on why we might not like certain things in people, for example. I am not attracted to men who are chubby or have a very obvious dad bod. Never been attracted to any sort of fat, not on me or others. But it could be due to the environment where I grew up where it was VERY stigmatised. So I wonder if I drag it with me since childhood.. Could be the same for trans women(like me) and the concept of how I was born might put you off.. which is fine!
Not attracted to fat people is a bit different from my case tho, I think. The same, if you dont find shorter people attractive for example.
For my case, I find them not attractive not because of their appearance but because of their nature. That is the thing confuses me.
Another example, if I tell that I dont black people attractive, I would be a racist. Because, I am judging black people according the their colour. I cannot differentiate between not liking a black person and not liking a transgender. "It’s not racist or any kinda ist/phobic to not be attracted to someone. Just be secure in who you are attracted to - simple really. You can’t be expected to play “hide the sausage” with someone you aren’t attracted to, just so you don’t get labelled as transphobic/racist/etc! | |||
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"One of the most beautiful women I ever kissed was trans. But after a few lovely kisses she told me she had a boyfriend. She seemed genuinely gutted to be telling me too which was the most disappointing thing
Sorry to hear this.
What do you think about my question?"I don't think it's transphobic. But there seems, in my opinion (from the very little I know), to be something that's in your mind about the person being born differently than what they grew to become. It it could be the age old tale of pheromones defining sexual attraction. I wouldn't worry about it or overthink it. It might just be that one person. I've met hundreds of very attractive and available women that I've not wanted to have sex with, but that's usually because of their personality. | |||
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"Also you would be racist if you were being offensive to people of colour. Telling a person I’m sorry but I’m not attracted to you isn’t being racist . So this applies to any other thing. " I cannot agree with you in this point. Racism is not only about being offensive. You can be a racist by acting passive too. For example, if I reject to communicate with a black person just because of his/her/their skin colour, I am being a passive racist. In the same way, if you dont find someone attractive just because of his/her/their skin colour, then there is a problem. It is like not finding someone attractive because their eyes are green. | |||
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"No. You aren't attracted to trans women. Fair enough. It doesn't make you anything phobic. Thank you for your answer. But if I believe that trans women are women, and if I am sexually attracted to women, there are two possibilities for me I guess; I am not believing trans women are women in the deep or I am transphobic because I dont find those people sexually attractive because of their choices. If trans women are women, why do I not feel the attraction?" A straight man does not need to feel sexually attracted to every woman, a gay man does not need to feel sexually attracted to every man. Ditto and vice versa a woman. And a bi person does not need to be attracted to every man and every woman. You're transphobic if you insult a trans person just because they are trans. But not if you insult a trans person because of any of the reasons why you might insult some other man or woman. You would be considered transphobic if you said that as a general principle you found the concept of trans people to be distasteful, that regardless of anything else about any specific individual, you would treat them as being lesser just for being trans. That's how racism, homophobia, misogyny, xenophobia and all the rest work. But there is no requirement that you should have to feel attraction towards any particular individual of whatever gender; and as corollary there is no requirement that any specific individual should feel attraction towards you. Life is complicated, gender is complicated, attraction is complicated, sexual relationships are complicated. Best we can do is be respectful and try not to be dicks. Or as Bill and Ted put it: "Be excellent to each other" | |||
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"Disclaimer: Please try not to offend from this post. Just trying have an intellectual conversation that I can learn from you. Believe it or not, I love and respect you all. Stay happy. I have dated transgenders a couple times and I have never felt the sexual attraction even tho I enjoyed a lot on those dates. I know, I am not a bisex, I am clearly a straight or cis, whatever you call it. On the other hand, I strongly believe that anyone who defines themselves as a woman is woman. So, actually, I am attracted to women whose sex is woman, not the gender’s. Now the question is that does “not sexually attracted to transgender women” make me homophobic? Thanks. " You're in a world of shit! | |||
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"No. You aren't attracted to trans women. Fair enough. It doesn't make you anything phobic. " If anything, you went beyond your comfort zone and tried something/someone new. That's brave, not because of what other people think, but what you think. We have all been on dates that didn't pan out, so it happens. Spark or no spark: you'll never know until you try. | |||
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"Genuine question. You say you dont find find trans women attractive. Unless all trans women walked around with a sign on their heads declaring it, how do you even know. I mean, chances are you may have even spotted a hot lady somewhere or even spoken to a trans lady and not known?" Thats really good question. As I havent experience something like this, lets assume the things; Lets say I find a woman really attractive, I really want to have a moment with her. But then I learn she is a transgender, and I lose all of my interest on her. Am I being a transphobic in this example? | |||
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"No. You aren't attracted to trans women. Fair enough. It doesn't make you anything phobic. If trans women are women, why do I not feel the attraction? Do you fancy every woman in the world? Maybe it's just that you don't fancy that person.
That would be a possibility of course. But what would be your thought if I dont find any transgender woman attractive?
For example, I enjoyed a lot when I went out with a mtf, I would definitely fuck her, if she wasnt a transgender. "How do you know that ? | |||
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"You can differentiate between acknowledging someone's social gender and what uou find biologically attractive. It's not transphobic. " Similarly real boobs vs implants or even false teeth and wigs: each to their own. We all have the right to decide what turns us on, not the right to discriminate and belittle others. | |||
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"No. You aren't attracted to trans women. Fair enough. It doesn't make you anything phobic. Thank you for your answer. But if I believe that trans women are women, and if I am sexually attracted to women, there are two possibilities for me I guess; I am not believing trans women are women in the deep or I am transphobic because I dont find those people sexually attractive because of their choices. If trans women are women, why do I not feel the attraction? A straight man does not need to feel sexually attracted to every woman, a gay man does not need to feel sexually attracted to every man. Ditto and vice versa a woman. And a bi person does not need to be attracted to every man and every woman. You're transphobic if you insult a trans person just because they are trans. But not if you insult a trans person because of any of the reasons why you might insult some other man or woman. You would be considered transphobic if you said that as a general principle you found the concept of trans people to be distasteful, that regardless of anything else about any specific individual, you would treat them as being lesser just for being trans. That's how racism, homophobia, misogyny, xenophobia and all the rest work. But there is no requirement that you should have to feel attraction towards any particular individual of whatever gender; and as corollary there is no requirement that any specific individual should feel attraction towards you. Life is complicated, gender is complicated, attraction is complicated, sexual relationships are complicated. Best we can do is be respectful and try not to be dicks. Or as Bill and Ted put it: "Be excellent to each other"" Great explanation. As you said gender, sex, and attraction is fucking complicated. And I am too stupid to understand any of them. Thanks a lot for your answer | |||
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"No. You aren't attracted to trans women. Fair enough. It doesn't make you anything phobic. If trans women are women, why do I not feel the attraction? Do you fancy every woman in the world? Maybe it's just that you don't fancy that person.
That would be a possibility of course. But what would be your thought if I dont find any transgender woman attractive?
For example, I enjoyed a lot when I went out with a mtf, I would definitely fuck her, if she wasnt a transgender.
How do you know that ?"Know what? That I would fuck her? Because she was smart, fun, and nice. I would fuck any women who is smart, fun, and nice. | |||
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"Genuine question. You say you dont find find trans women attractive. Unless all trans women walked around with a sign on their heads declaring it, how do you even know. I mean, chances are you may have even spotted a hot lady somewhere or even spoken to a trans lady and not known? Thats really good question. As I havent experience something like this, lets assume the things; Lets say I find a woman really attractive, I really want to have a moment with her. But then I learn she is a transgender, and I lose all of my interest on her. Am I being a transphobic in this example?" Well it’s internalised dislike because you probably think “but she’s actually a man and not a real woman” Is that being transphobic? I mean I don’t know, there’s certainly a little trigger that doesn’t let your brain go past that point I had guys who said that once I told them I was trans and they said “I find you really attractive but I don’t think I can go there with you” It’s to do with them, not me. I bow out gracefully as I have plenty of other options anyway x
I’d rather have someone say before than have sex and have them hurt me becuase they just have internalised hate that they can’t digest so they take it out on me. No sir, not happening!! | |||
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"You can differentiate between acknowledging someone's social gender and what uou find biologically attractive. It's not transphobic. That is a good answer. I was accused being a transphobic because I did not want to fuck with her. Made me feel bad. Thanks a lot for your answers
Some people get arsey when they get turned down. Just ignore them. "True. Rejection/bitterness/blame/guilt. Horrible, horrible, horrible | |||
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"It’s fine to be attracted (or not) to anybody you like! Who cares? If the feeling’s mutual then great. If not, move on Labels, stigma, etc don’t matter a jot. I don’t fancy cows, does that make me bovinist? (Ok that was a joke, but you get my point)" The problem here is that they are not anybody bu a group of people. If you dont facy cows, and dont fuck them, you are cool. But if you find some cows attractive and dont find other cows unattractive because of some certain prerequisitions like their skins or sexual orientation, then there would be some issues there I guess. | |||
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"Genuine question. You say you dont find find trans women attractive. Unless all trans women walked around with a sign on their heads declaring it, how do you even know. I mean, chances are you may have even spotted a hot lady somewhere or even spoken to a trans lady and not known? Thats really good question. As I havent experience something like this, lets assume the things; Lets say I find a woman really attractive, I really want to have a moment with her. But then I learn she is a transgender, and I lose all of my interest on her. Am I being a transphobic in this example? Well it’s internalised dislike because you probably think “but she’s actually a man and not a real woman” Is that being transphobic? I mean I don’t know, there’s certainly a little trigger that doesn’t let your brain go past that point I had guys who said that once I told them I was trans and they said “I find you really attractive but I don’t think I can go there with you” It’s to do with them, not me. I bow out gracefully as I have plenty of other options anyway x
I’d rather have someone say before than have sex and have them hurt me becuase they just have internalised hate that they can’t digest so they take it out on me. No sir, not happening!!"That is totally my point. Oh. Fuck. I am a fucking moron transphobic. Damn. How can I get over this? | |||
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"Has anybody consider the years of turmoil the transgenger people have to deal with in their heads. All that self doubt pride circle thinking has had a major effect on their mental health. They have then overcome their own emotional/financial/social and physical hurdles to become and continue to be their new self. They had had years and decadesto come to terms with this "This is me v2.0", the OP has had a lot less time to process the very same thoughts, even if this are happening subconsciously. Maybe, just maybe, you deserve more time to come to terms with all of this, don't forget that transgender people have been and had some sort of counselling. So go easy on your self."  xx | |||
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"Has anybody consider the years of turmoil the transgenger people have to deal with in their heads. All that self doubt pride circle thinking has had a major effect on their mental health. They have then overcome their own emotional/financial/social and physical hurdles to become and continue to be their new self. They had had years and decadesto come to terms with this "This is me v2.0", the OP has had a lot less time to process the very same thoughts, even if this are happening subconsciously. Maybe, just maybe, you deserve more time to come to terms with all of this, don't forget that transgender people have been and had some sort of counselling. So go easy on your self." Wow. You are absolutely great. Thanks a lot. | |||
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"Genuine question. You say you dont find find trans women attractive. Unless all trans women walked around with a sign on their heads declaring it, how do you even know. I mean, chances are you may have even spotted a hot lady somewhere or even spoken to a trans lady and not known? Thats really good question. As I havent experience something like this, lets assume the things; Lets say I find a woman really attractive, I really want to have a moment with her. But then I learn she is a transgender, and I lose all of my interest on her. Am I being a transphobic in this example?" Thanks for the honest answer. I think with your explanation, yeah it might be. | |||
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"Genuine question. You say you dont find find trans women attractive. Unless all trans women walked around with a sign on their heads declaring it, how do you even know. I mean, chances are you may have even spotted a hot lady somewhere or even spoken to a trans lady and not known? Thats really good question. As I havent experience something like this, lets assume the things; Lets say I find a woman really attractive, I really want to have a moment with her. But then I learn she is a transgender, and I lose all of my interest on her. Am I being a transphobic in this example? Thanks for the honest answer. I think with your explanation, yeah it might be." I was raised by a conservative family. I am against many of the things they taught me bur I guess it is not easy to overcome something. I am going to get consultation about this for sure. hope it would help. | |||
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"Genuine question. You say you dont find find trans women attractive. Unless all trans women walked around with a sign on their heads declaring it, how do you even know. I mean, chances are you may have even spotted a hot lady somewhere or even spoken to a trans lady and not known? Thats really good question. As I havent experience something like this, lets assume the things; Lets say I find a woman really attractive, I really want to have a moment with her. But then I learn she is a transgender, and I lose all of my interest on her. Am I being a transphobic in this example? Thanks for the honest answer. I think with your explanation, yeah it might be. I was raised by a conservative family. I am against many of the things they taught me bur I guess it is not easy to overcome something. I am going to get consultation about this for sure. hope it would help. " 
Same here. Very religious and Conservative family. What i learnt is it can be more sccared if the unknkown. Wr were taught no sex before marrige, being anything other than statight is wrong, creared equal, blah blah blha. I wasnt allowed to question much. My folkes would never have been happy if id had a mixed or non white partener. My dad had a gay cousin who he was clearly not 100% comfortable with it. I learnt from them is its more just scared of the unknkown. My mum still will not accept my daughter is bi. She says dosnt look like on lol its a phase and so on. Thats why i alwsys do my best to ask question's and look stuff up. Educate myself.
What do you think a coseltataion will do? You really beed to pay someone to tell you what? | |||
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"Genuine question. You say you dont find find trans women attractive. Unless all trans women walked around with a sign on their heads declaring it, how do you even know. I mean, chances are you may have even spotted a hot lady somewhere or even spoken to a trans lady and not known? Thats really good question. As I havent experience something like this, lets assume the things; Lets say I find a woman really attractive, I really want to have a moment with her. But then I learn she is a transgender, and I lose all of my interest on her. Am I being a transphobic in this example? Thanks for the honest answer. I think with your explanation, yeah it might be. I was raised by a conservative family. I am against many of the things they taught me bur I guess it is not easy to overcome something. I am going to get consultation about this for sure. hope it would help.
Same here. Very religious and Conservative family. What i learnt is it can be more sccared if the unknkown. Wr were taught no sex before marrige, being anything other than statight is wrong, creared equal, blah blah blha. I wasnt allowed to question much. My folkes would never have been happy if id had a mixed or non white partener. My dad had a gay cousin who he was clearly not 100% comfortable with it. I learnt from them is its more just scared of the unknkown. My mum still will not accept my daughter is bi. She says dosnt look like on lol its a phase and so on. Thats why i alwsys do my best to ask question's and look stuff up. Educate myself.
What do you think a coseltataion will do? You really beed to pay someone to tell you what? "I mean not to pay someone to tell me but pay to someone who can help me to get over it. Sex consular or a psychologist I dont know. But before that I should educate myself more about gender, sex, and sexual orientation. | |||
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"Look at it from a simple perspective as opposed to trying to analyse the jargon society and media throw at us. What i’m trying to say is - it’s ok to be different and have your own likes/dislikes, it’s what makes us all special, we simply need to show compassion and look at individuals as human beings and forget the hype. We are but a vessel, the light that shines in all of us is what’s really special. "I wanna to be together with the people I like. If I have an inherent value that stops me or triggers me to do certain things, I dont like it at all. Its totally ok to have dislikes, I mean I was rejected here a lot (even I get “ewww absolutely no” response when I sent a message with my photo ) and I respect all of them. The problem for me I have a dislike that I dislike it more which I believe I need to solve somehow. | |||
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"Look at it from a simple perspective as opposed to trying to analyse the jargon society and media throw at us. What i’m trying to say is - it’s ok to be different and have your own likes/dislikes, it’s what makes us all special, we simply need to show compassion and look at individuals as human beings and forget the hype. We are but a vessel, the light that shines in all of us is what’s really special.
I wanna to be together with the people I like. If I have an inherent value that stops me or triggers me to do certain things, I dont like it at all.
Its totally ok to have dislikes, I mean I was rejected here a lot (even I get “ewww absolutely no” response when I sent a message with my photo ) and I respect all of them. The problem for me I have a dislike that I dislike it more which I believe I need to solve somehow. "I’m sorry, I don’t entirely understand what you mean. We know, attachment can lead to many problems if not careful. We’re all adults here and need to act and take responsibility for our actions. If in doubt, don’t get involved. No need to over analyse and just accept the fact that someone has said no to you (& move on). Life can be pretty simple if you want it to be. | |||
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"No. You aren't attracted to trans women. Fair enough. It doesn't make you anything phobic. If trans women are women, why do I not feel the attraction? Do you fancy every woman in the world? Maybe it's just that you don't fancy that person.
That would be a possibility of course. But what would be your thought if I dont find any transgender woman attractive?
For example, I enjoyed a lot when I went out with a mtf, I would definitely fuck her, if she wasnt a transgender. "What does that 'For example' bit mean - was it an idea, or did you say it? (not sure if anyone above my post has mentioned it) | |||
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"Look at it from a simple perspective as opposed to trying to analyse the jargon society and media throw at us. What i’m trying to say is - it’s ok to be different and have your own likes/dislikes, it’s what makes us all special, we simply need to show compassion and look at individuals as human beings and forget the hype. We are but a vessel, the light that shines in all of us is what’s really special.
I wanna to be together with the people I like. If I have an inherent value that stops me or triggers me to do certain things, I dont like it at all.
Its totally ok to have dislikes, I mean I was rejected here a lot (even I get “ewww absolutely no” response when I sent a message with my photo ) and I respect all of them. The problem for me I have a dislike that I dislike it more which I believe I need to solve somehow.
I’m sorry, I don’t entirely understand what you mean. We know, attachment can lead to many problems if not careful. We’re all adults here and need to act and take responsibility for our actions. If in doubt, don’t get involved. No need to over analyse and just accept the fact that someone has said no to you (& move on). Life can be pretty simple if you want it to be."What I meant to say there that not finding a transperson sexually attractive just because of their sexual orientation is something I dislike. It is ok to have dislikes and reject someone who obtains those dislikes. But, rejecting someone because of their sex history or their skin colour should not be my case. Having this kind of dislikes disturbs me. That doesnt mean I will be fucking transpeople immediately. First thing I need to do is to understand why I dont find transpeople sexually attractive. Sprry about my previous message and terrible english skills | |||
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"No. You aren't attracted to trans women. Fair enough. It doesn't make you anything phobic. If trans women are women, why do I not feel the attraction? Do you fancy every woman in the world? Maybe it's just that you don't fancy that person.
That would be a possibility of course. But what would be your thought if I dont find any transgender woman attractive?
For example, I enjoyed a lot when I went out with a mtf, I would definitely fuck her, if she wasnt a transgender.
What does that 'For example' bit mean - was it an idea, or did you say it?
(not sure if anyone above my post has mentioned it)"Of course I did not say it. It was just my thought. It is like, I have really nice guy friends, I would also fuck them if they were woman (amd assuming that they were into me ) | |||
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"No. You aren't attracted to trans women. Fair enough. It doesn't make you anything phobic. If trans women are women, why do I not feel the attraction? Do you fancy every woman in the world? Maybe it's just that you don't fancy that person.
That would be a possibility of course. But what would be your thought if I dont find any transgender woman attractive?
For example, I enjoyed a lot when I went out with a mtf, I would definitely fuck her, if she wasnt a transgender.
What does that 'For example' bit mean - was it an idea, or did you say it?
(not sure if anyone above my post has mentioned it)"After reading all the above and your other examples and insights - I agree there's something more deeper to be analysed .... Wishing you well and you don't need to answer my post! | |||
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"No. You aren't attracted to trans women. Fair enough. It doesn't make you anything phobic. If trans women are women, why do I not feel the attraction? Do you fancy every woman in the world? Maybe it's just that you don't fancy that person.
That would be a possibility of course. But what would be your thought if I dont find any transgender woman attractive?
For example, I enjoyed a lot when I went out with a mtf, I would definitely fuck her, if she wasnt a transgender.
What does that 'For example' bit mean - was it an idea, or did you say it?
(not sure if anyone above my post has mentioned it)
After reading all the above and your other examples and insights - I agree there's something more deeper to be analysed ....
Wishing you well
and you don't need to answer my post!"Ah. Already did. Thank you. Wish you best too | |||
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""This is me V2.0"™ I'm copyrighting this one, before Coca-Cola pinches it and gets leona Lewis to sing it, as their new radio jingle." I was gonna say. That’s a fucking brilliant line !!! And I wish I could say that but I don’t want you to come after me legally
Sluteeesss™
I wish I could trade mark fuckboy cos it’s in my vocabulary constantly
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"Genuine question. You say you dont find find trans women attractive. Unless all trans women walked around with a sign on their heads declaring it, how do you even know. I mean, chances are you may have even spotted a hot lady somewhere or even spoken to a trans lady and not known? Thats really good question. As I havent experience something like this, lets assume the things; Lets say I find a woman really attractive, I really want to have a moment with her. But then I learn she is a transgender, and I lose all of my interest on her. Am I being a transphobic in this example? Thanks for the honest answer. I think with your explanation, yeah it might be. I was raised by a conservative family. I am against many of the things they taught me bur I guess it is not easy to overcome something. I am going to get consultation about this for sure. hope it would help.
Same here. Very religious and Conservative family. What i learnt is it can be more sccared if the unknkown. Wr were taught no sex before marrige, being anything other than statight is wrong, creared equal, blah blah blha. I wasnt allowed to question much. My folkes would never have been happy if id had a mixed or non white partener. My dad had a gay cousin who he was clearly not 100% comfortable with it. I learnt from them is its more just scared of the unknkown. My mum still will not accept my daughter is bi. She says dosnt look like on lol its a phase and so on. Thats why i alwsys do my best to ask question's and look stuff up. Educate myself.
What do you think a coseltataion will do? You really beed to pay someone to tell you what?
I mean not to pay someone to tell me but pay to someone who can help me to get over it. Sex consular or a psychologist I dont know.
But before that I should educate myself more about gender, sex, and sexual orientation. "That you do, educating yourself more is only beneficial. And hey, I mean trans women come in all different shapes, sizes, forms , stages whatever. So once you done ur research by understanding yourself and understanding trans women. You can maybe unlock the answer Because trust me, some look so good, are ultrafem, their voice isn’t a give away (not that all these things matter) that if the only reason why u are put off once you find out, it’s harboured negative pre convinced notion. Which is fine none gets offended. But it is what It is also! Id say the fact that you come from a very conservative family (Christian?) has something to do with it. 100%!! | |||
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"I was gonna say also some of us have a full vagina as well so at that point the exterior matches with the interior completely. Like, I never deemed you as transphobic because a transphobe is that asshole who would say “but at the end of the day, after all that your are just a boy” or the guy who would try stab me for being trans. But again, I do think there’s something In your brain that has created this negative thing that once you find out someone who is a woman and looks like one, but was born a boy, That turns u off completely. And I’d deffo say it’s something u should look into if you care (you are already doing more than most who would not even think twice!!) Where are you from btw as you said you aren’t English? (Some Mediterranean countries are terrible when it comes to stigmatising certain groups of people. Because there’s no education around it and just that is wrong to be different - and that we are freak shows)" I’m from Turkey. I was raised by a very patriarchal Muslim family. I mean I love my family but we are completely different. Now I am trying to change them | |||
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"Look at it from a simple perspective as opposed to trying to analyse the jargon society and media throw at us. What i’m trying to say is - it’s ok to be different and have your own likes/dislikes, it’s what makes us all special, we simply need to show compassion and look at individuals as human beings and forget the hype. We are but a vessel, the light that shines in all of us is what’s really special.
I wanna to be together with the people I like. If I have an inherent value that stops me or triggers me to do certain things, I dont like it at all.
Its totally ok to have dislikes, I mean I was rejected here a lot (even I get “ewww absolutely no” response when I sent a message with my photo ) and I respect all of them. The problem for me I have a dislike that I dislike it more which I believe I need to solve somehow.
I’m sorry, I don’t entirely understand what you mean. We know, attachment can lead to many problems if not careful. We’re all adults here and need to act and take responsibility for our actions. If in doubt, don’t get involved. No need to over analyse and just accept the fact that someone has said no to you (& move on). Life can be pretty simple if you want it to be.
What I meant to say there that not finding a transperson sexually attractive just because of their sexual orientation is something I dislike. It is ok to have dislikes and reject someone who obtains those dislikes. But, rejecting someone because of their sex history or their skin colour should not be my case. Having this kind of dislikes disturbs me.
That doesnt mean I will be fucking transpeople immediately. First thing I need to do is to understand why I dont find transpeople sexually attractive.
Sprry about my previous message and terrible english skills "Do we ever know where our sexual attraction comes from? Can't you just accept it? Feels similar to gay conversion therapy. You can't make yourself be attracted to people. You're not a bad person for not being attracted to person A or person B. | |||
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"Look at it from a simple perspective as opposed to trying to analyse the jargon society and media throw at us. What i’m trying to say is - it’s ok to be different and have your own likes/dislikes, it’s what makes us all special, we simply need to show compassion and look at individuals as human beings and forget the hype. We are but a vessel, the light that shines in all of us is what’s really special.
I wanna to be together with the people I like. If I have an inherent value that stops me or triggers me to do certain things, I dont like it at all.
Its totally ok to have dislikes, I mean I was rejected here a lot (even I get “ewww absolutely no” response when I sent a message with my photo ) and I respect all of them. The problem for me I have a dislike that I dislike it more which I believe I need to solve somehow.
I’m sorry, I don’t entirely understand what you mean. We know, attachment can lead to many problems if not careful. We’re all adults here and need to act and take responsibility for our actions. If in doubt, don’t get involved. No need to over analyse and just accept the fact that someone has said no to you (& move on). Life can be pretty simple if you want it to be.
What I meant to say there that not finding a transperson sexually attractive just because of their sexual orientation is something I dislike. It is ok to have dislikes and reject someone who obtains those dislikes. But, rejecting someone because of their sex history or their skin colour should not be my case. Having this kind of dislikes disturbs me.
That doesnt mean I will be fucking transpeople immediately. First thing I need to do is to understand why I dont find transpeople sexually attractive.
Sprry about my previous message and terrible english skills
Do we ever know where our sexual attraction comes from? Can't you just accept it?
Feels similar to gay conversion therapy. You can't make yourself be attracted to people.
You're not a bad person for not being attracted to person A or person B. "I dont have any where is my sexual attraction is coming from. But as I said raised by a conservative Muslim family filled me lots of shits. Trying to get rid of all of those shits. As you said you are not definitely bad person if you dont like person a or person b, but the thing is if you dont like a particular group of people because of your prerequirements or prejudices, this is not something I like to be. | |||
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"I was gonna say also some of us have a full vagina as well so at that point the exterior matches with the interior completely. Like, I never deemed you as transphobic because a transphobe is that asshole who would say “but at the end of the day, after all that your are just a boy” or the guy who would try stab me for being trans. But again, I do think there’s something In your brain that has created this negative thing that once you find out someone who is a woman and looks like one, but was born a boy, That turns u off completely. And I’d deffo say it’s something u should look into if you care (you are already doing more than most who would not even think twice!!) Where are you from btw as you said you aren’t English? (Some Mediterranean countries are terrible when it comes to stigmatising certain groups of people. Because there’s no education around it and just that is wrong to be different - and that we are freak shows) I’m from Turkey. I was raised by a very patriarchal Muslim family. I mean I love my family but we are completely different. Now I am trying to change them "This could be kinda it really . If you are telling say.. your favourite actress or crush u feel attracted to, say for instance told you she was trans. And you lose complete interest (not because they weren’t honest in the first place) but because you don’t like anymore because you think of them how they were born then you might carry with you some stuff from your conservative family x | |||
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"I was gonna say also some of us have a full vagina as well so at that point the exterior matches with the interior completely. Like, I never deemed you as transphobic because a transphobe is that asshole who would say “but at the end of the day, after all that your are just a boy” or the guy who would try stab me for being trans. But again, I do think there’s something In your brain that has created this negative thing that once you find out someone who is a woman and looks like one, but was born a boy, That turns u off completely. And I’d deffo say it’s something u should look into if you care (you are already doing more than most who would not even think twice!!) Where are you from btw as you said you aren’t English? (Some Mediterranean countries are terrible when it comes to stigmatising certain groups of people. Because there’s no education around it and just that is wrong to be different - and that we are freak shows) I’m from Turkey. I was raised by a very patriarchal Muslim family. I mean I love my family but we are completely different. Now I am trying to change them
This could be kinda it really .
If you are telling say.. your favourite actress or crush u feel attracted to, say for instance told you she was trans. And you lose complete interest (not because they weren’t honest in the first place) but because you don’t like anymore because you think of them how they were born then you might carry with you some stuff from your conservative family x "Definitely. Do you think I can get over it? Btw, I really do not care if the woman did not tell me she was born as a male. This is not something related to honesty for my case. A personal information that the owner decides whether I should know it or not. It is like I would be ok if I ever had a sex with a transgender without knowing that person is a transgender. But if you give me a choice I prefer not to I guess. It is just like a turn off for me. | |||
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"I was gonna say also some of us have a full vagina as well so at that point the exterior matches with the interior completely. Like, I never deemed you as transphobic because a transphobe is that asshole who would say “but at the end of the day, after all that your are just a boy” or the guy who would try stab me for being trans. But again, I do think there’s something In your brain that has created this negative thing that once you find out someone who is a woman and looks like one, but was born a boy, That turns u off completely. And I’d deffo say it’s something u should look into if you care (you are already doing more than most who would not even think twice!!) Where are you from btw as you said you aren’t English? (Some Mediterranean countries are terrible when it comes to stigmatising certain groups of people. Because there’s no education around it and just that is wrong to be different - and that we are freak shows) I’m from Turkey. I was raised by a very patriarchal Muslim family. I mean I love my family but we are completely different. Now I am trying to change them
This could be kinda it really .
If you are telling say.. your favourite actress or crush u feel attracted to, say for instance told you she was trans. And you lose complete interest (not because they weren’t honest in the first place) but because you don’t like anymore because you think of them how they were born then you might carry with you some stuff from your conservative family x
Definitely. Do you think I can get over it?
Btw, I really do not care if the woman did not
tell me she was born as a male. This is not something related to honesty for my case. A personal information that the owner decides whether I should know it or not.
It is like I would be ok if I ever had a sex with a transgender without knowing that person is a transgender. But if you give me a choice I prefer not to I guess. It is just like a turn off for me. "I think you can get over it, maybe try to speak to a therapist but also try to do research about transgender people and what actually goes on. It’s very fascinating to hear the stories and that for most, we just got unlucky that the brain of our brain (woman’s) hasn’t aligned with the body . Im sorry that you’d rather not know (that’s kinda like when people don’t want to know/rather not know that their partners are cheating and play pretend) | |||
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"Look at it from a simple perspective as opposed to trying to analyse the jargon society and media throw at us. What i’m trying to say is - it’s ok to be different and have your own likes/dislikes, it’s what makes us all special, we simply need to show compassion and look at individuals as human beings and forget the hype. We are but a vessel, the light that shines in all of us is what’s really special.
I wanna to be together with the people I like. If I have an inherent value that stops me or triggers me to do certain things, I dont like it at all.
Its totally ok to have dislikes, I mean I was rejected here a lot (even I get “ewww absolutely no” response when I sent a message with my photo ) and I respect all of them. The problem for me I have a dislike that I dislike it more which I believe I need to solve somehow.
I’m sorry, I don’t entirely understand what you mean. We know, attachment can lead to many problems if not careful. We’re all adults here and need to act and take responsibility for our actions. If in doubt, don’t get involved. No need to over analyse and just accept the fact that someone has said no to you (& move on). Life can be pretty simple if you want it to be.
What I meant to say there that not finding a transperson sexually attractive just because of their sexual orientation is something I dislike. It is ok to have dislikes and reject someone who obtains those dislikes. But, rejecting someone because of their sex history or their skin colour should not be my case. Having this kind of dislikes disturbs me.
That doesnt mean I will be fucking transpeople immediately. First thing I need to do is to understand why I dont find transpeople sexually attractive.
Sprry about my previous message and terrible english skills
Do we ever know where our sexual attraction comes from? Can't you just accept it?
Feels similar to gay conversion therapy. You can't make yourself be attracted to people.
You're not a bad person for not being attracted to person A or person B.
I dont have any where is my sexual attraction is coming from. But as I said raised by a conservative Muslim family filled me lots of shits. Trying to get rid of all of those shits.
As you said you are not definitely bad person if you dont like person a or person b, but the thing is if you dont like a particular group of people because of your prerequirements or prejudices, this is not something I like to be. " | |||
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"No. You aren't attracted to trans women. Fair enough. It doesn't make you anything phobic. Thank you for your answer. But if I believe that trans women are women, and if I am sexually attracted to women, there are two possibilities for me I guess; I am not believing trans women are women in the deep or I am transphobic because I dont find those people sexually attractive because of their choices. If trans women are women, why do I not feel the attraction?" Are you sexually attracted to all women? | |||
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" Btw, I really do not care if the woman did not tell me she was born as a male. This is not something related to honesty for my case. A personal information that the owner decides whether I should know it or not. It is like I would be ok if I ever had a sex with a transgender without knowing that person is a transgender. But if you give me a choice I prefer not to I guess. It is just like a turn off for me. I think you can get over it, maybe try to speak to a therapist but also try to do research about transgender people and what actually goes on. It’s very fascinating to hear the stories and that for most, we just got unlucky that the brain of our brain (woman’s) hasn’t aligned with the body . Im sorry that you’d rather not know (that’s kinda like when people don’t want to know/rather not know that their partners are cheating and play pretend) " Just a small correction, I did not say I’d rather not know, I said if the transgender does not reveal about his/her sex history, I would respect that. Thats a personal information, if she/he doesnt want me to know it, I should not know it. If the person I had sex reveals she/he transgender later, I would not feel like cheated or anything. It was all my decision to slept with her/him in the first place. If you ask me on the other hand, I would like to know everything about her/him :D I would rather know everything but if she/he hides something that revealing it makes her/him uncomfortable, I would rather not to know in this case. | |||
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"I don’t know, I normally am how I feel. I think I am straight, but I am not attracted to all women…does that make me…something? "Human. My point being no one is attracted to all people and just because you are not attracted to someone you know is trans does not make you phobic of them. Transohobia is so much more complicated than whether or not people want to fuck them. It's hard for some on here to comprehend but no one has to want to fuck everyone on this site. | |||
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" Btw, I really do not care if the woman did not tell me she was born as a male. This is not something related to honesty for my case. A personal information that the owner decides whether I should know it or not. It is like I would be ok if I ever had a sex with a transgender without knowing that person is a transgender. But if you give me a choice I prefer not to I guess. It is just like a turn off for me. I think you can get over it, maybe try to speak to a therapist but also try to do research about transgender people and what actually goes on. It’s very fascinating to hear the stories and that for most, we just got unlucky that the brain of our brain (woman’s) hasn’t aligned with the body . Im sorry that you’d rather not know (that’s kinda like when people don’t want to know/rather not know that their partners are cheating and play pretend) Just a small correction, I did not say I’d rather not know, I said if the transgender does not reveal about his/her sex history, I would respect that. Thats a personal information, if she/he doesnt want me to know it, I should not know it. If the person I had sex reveals she/he transgender later, I would not feel like cheated or anything. It was all my decision to slept with her/him in the first place. If you ask me on the other hand, I would like to know everything about her/him :D I would rather know everything but if she/he hides something that revealing it makes her/him uncomfortable, I would rather not to know in this case. " They is a much easier pronoun to use here | |||
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" Btw, I really do not care if the woman did not tell me she was born as a male. This is not something related to honesty for my case. A personal information that the owner decides whether I should know it or not. It is like I would be ok if I ever had a sex with a transgender without knowing that person is a transgender. But if you give me a choice I prefer not to I guess. It is just like a turn off for me. I think you can get over it, maybe try to speak to a therapist but also try to do research about transgender people and what actually goes on. It’s very fascinating to hear the stories and that for most, we just got unlucky that the brain of our brain (woman’s) hasn’t aligned with the body . Im sorry that you’d rather not know (that’s kinda like when people don’t want to know/rather not know that their partners are cheating and play pretend) Just a small correction, I did not say I’d rather not know, I said if the transgender does not reveal about his/her sex history, I would respect that. Thats a personal information, if she/he doesnt want me to know it, I should not know it. If the person I had sex reveals she/he transgender later, I would not feel like cheated or anything. It was all my decision to slept with her/him in the first place. If you ask me on the other hand, I would like to know everything about her/him :D I would rather know everything but if she/he hides something that revealing it makes her/him uncomfortable, I would rather not to know in this case. They is a much easier pronoun to use here "I am not excellent to use those
English is a sexist language | |||
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"I don’t know, I normally am how I feel. I think I am straight, but I am not attracted to all women…does that make me…something?
Human.
My point being no one is attracted to all people and just because you are not attracted to someone you know is trans does not make you phobic of them. Transohobia is so much more complicated than whether or not people want to fuck them. It's hard for some on here to comprehend but no one has to want to fuck everyone on this site. "Point taken | |||
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"I don’t know, I normally am how I feel. I think I am straight, but I am not attracted to all women…does that make me…something? "Makes you You xxx | |||
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""This is me V2.0"™ I'm copyrighting this one, before Coca-Cola pinches it and gets leona Lewis to sing it, as their new radio jingle. I was gonna say. That’s a fucking brilliant line !!! And I wish I could say that but I don’t want you to come after me legally
Sluteeesss™
I wish I could trade mark fuckboy cos it’s in my vocabulary constantly
"Would you like to use it on your profile picture, bet it would look good on a purple sash or something like that, in your pictures. You don't want me to come after you legally, OK I won't...but, it sounds more likely that you want me to come after you illegally! "Chase me, chase me!" LOL | |||
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