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What's actually a Swinger?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

What’s actually a swinger?

Seems 90% of the user base here just hook up. See someone you like, exchange some messages, if things go to plan have a social and maybe some fun

What’s the difference between that and tinder?

What makes someone a swinger?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Big balls?

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By *agpie and RavenMan
over a year ago

Leicester


"What’s actually a swinger?

Seems 90% of the user base here just hook up. See someone you like, exchange some messages, if things go to plan have a social and maybe some fun

What’s the difference between that and tinder?

What makes someone a swinger? "

I'd like to see evidence to back up the 90% assertion from the person whose words you've copied and pasted but I think the only difference between Tinder and swinging is Tinder serves a much younger demographic and many swingers like to socialise in groups, i.e., clubs and parties.

Frank

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Good question.

I haven't used Tinder or any of those types of apps but from what I know of them and what swinging is to me, I can't see how a single person can be a swinger unless they are in some sort of poly dynamic or are engaging with swinging couples.

Is that too simplistic or naive?

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By *agpie and RavenMan
over a year ago

Leicester

[Removed by poster at 22/10/21 09:23:50]

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By *agpie and RavenMan
over a year ago

Leicester


"Good question.

I haven't used Tinder or any of those types of apps but from what I know of them and what swinging is to me, I can't see how a single person can be a swinger unless they are in some sort of poly dynamic or are engaging with swinging couples.

Is that too simplistic or naive?"

They're called swingles but good point, another difference between Tinder and swingers is that swinging involves couples.

I've not really thought this through, have I?

Frank

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Big balls?

Little balls?"

Cardboard box?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do sometimes wonder why single males / females are on here looking for other single male / females …. But then I just give my head a wobble and mind my own business …..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Good question.

I haven't used Tinder or any of those types of apps but from what I know of them and what swinging is to me, I can't see how a single person can be a swinger unless they are in some sort of poly dynamic or are engaging with swinging couples.

Is that too simplistic or naive?

They're called swingles but good point, another difference between Tinder and swingers is that swinging involves couples.

I've not really thought this through, have I?

Frank "

Swingles, I like that, totally stealing it btw ;-p

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I do sometimes wonder why single males / females are on here looking for other single male / females …. But then I just give my head a wobble and mind my own business …..

"

Maybe, just maybe to meet someone to form a couple and officially be accepted into a supposedly open minded community that seem to judge everyone who's pampas grass isn't long enough, their pineapple arn't spikey enough and the anklet doesn't have the correct amount of charms.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I do sometimes wonder why single males / females are on here looking for other single male / females …. But then I just give my head a wobble and mind my own business …..

Maybe, just maybe to meet someone to form a couple and officially be accepted into a supposedly open minded community that seem to judge everyone who's pampas grass isn't long enough, their pineapple arn't spikey enough and the anklet doesn't have the correct amount of charms. "

Was told recently I'm not a swinger because in single. Its like no one has heard of 3 some lol.

Maybe this is why unicorns are so rare.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think swinging by definition involves playing with someone other than your partner. As this someone doesn't need to be in a relationship for the activity to be classed as swinging it makes sense that a swingers site includes singles. Also, there is no law against people having sex and really swinging is just a label. If this site gets used by singles to meet other singles for casual sex, while it may not meet a strict definition of swinging, it doesn't really matter. You need to be incredibly small minded to care if other people use 'your' label in a different way to how you think it should be used.

Crack on I say, so long as there are some singles for her ladyship and I to play with I'm happy

Mr

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I do sometimes wonder why single males / females are on here looking for other single male / females …. But then I just give my head a wobble and mind my own business …..

Maybe, just maybe to meet someone to form a couple and officially be accepted into a supposedly open minded community that seem to judge everyone who's pampas grass isn't long enough, their pineapple arn't spikey enough and the anklet doesn't have the correct amount of charms. "

Well said!

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By *ustamanMan
over a year ago

weymouth

If you ain't got that swing you ain't got that thing (or something like that).

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tarzan

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By *uriousscouserWoman
over a year ago

Wirral


"What’s actually a swinger?

Seems 90% of the user base here just hook up. See someone you like, exchange some messages, if things go to plan have a social and maybe some fun

What’s the difference between that and tinder?

What makes someone a swinger? "

Biggest difference for me is that my FB/FWBs tend to be married and are playing with partner's consent. I know their partners, I've socialised with them, one of them I suspect at some point we'll play as a threesome.

On any of the hookup sites I've been on that just wouldn't happen. If someone on there is married they are looking for a clandestine fuck, nothing more. Partners certainly aren't brought into the loop.

I do meet other singles and in many cases it's easier to arrange, but even then there is the social side of things that doesn't tend to happen on hookup sites I've been on.

I've been told I can't be a swinger because I'm single. Don't give a shiny shite whether someone else considers me a "real" swinger or not, I'll carry on doing my own thing!

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By *ecadent_DevonMan
over a year ago

Okehampton

Isn’t it more of a mindset than the actions you participate in? For some swinging is described as a “lifestyle” which is actually more relevant to an individual than it is to a couple (to quote a phrase “1 and 1 make 2, many people forget how important the “and” is”)

So I would say a swinger (whether as part of a couple or as an individual) has embraced a number of aspects of the lifestyle (e.g. uninhibited, not hung up on societal norms with relationships, able to self-define and articulate sexual desires, wanting to be part of a larger community of free-thinking libertarians, enjoying frank and open discussion around sex etc.)

As such anyone can have the swinging mentality, regardless of their relationship status.

If you just come on here for a fuck, does that make you a swinger? Depends I guess, like all activities there are parts of that activity that you may not take part in (e.g. parties, clubs, socials etc.) but that doesn’t mean you don’t feel part of that community.

I like riding horses, and there is a “scene” around that, but I don’t like to take part in drag hunting and whilst I admire dressage, it isn’t something I do. But I would still consider myself part of the horsey set

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm curious about this also, my impression of swinging was that its couples only who swap partners...

But the few months I've been here, it seems its more about whoever feels like it...I mean, there's all kinds of people in all kinds of relationships...I like that. No labels kinda idea

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By *r SensualMan
over a year ago

London


"What’s actually a swinger?

Seems 90% of the user base here just hook up. See someone you like, exchange some messages, if things go to plan have a social and maybe some fun

What’s the difference between that and tinder?

What makes someone a swinger?

I'd like to see evidence to back up the 90% assertion from the person whose words you've copied and pasted but I think the only difference between Tinder and swinging is Tinder serves a much younger demographic and many swingers like to socialise in groups, i.e., clubs and parties.

Frank"

I totally get the point regarding Tinder being targeted towards a much younger demographic which is true however, what is there to say that younger people (like myself) don’t like to socialise in groups and attend clubs or parties? Or is the label of “swinger” one that is exclusively for those at the older end of the age spectrum?

Like it’s been said, some singles here (again myself included), would in the long term like to meet another single, become a couple and bask in this lifestyle together. It can be quite difficult to meet someone in the vanilla world who is open minded enough or even willing to be part of this lifestyle I’ve found. Some just don’t even want to understand what swinging is about due to their ingrained preconceptions of people who engage in this lifestyle I’ve found

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By *ugarbearCouple
over a year ago

Tredegar

For me swinging is you fuck me and my hubby fucks your wife simplw

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By *ily WhiteWoman
over a year ago

?


"Isn’t it more of a mindset than the actions you participate in? For some swinging is described as a “lifestyle” which is actually more relevant to an individual than it is to a couple (to quote a phrase “1 and 1 make 2, many people forget how important the “and” is”)

So I would say a swinger (whether as part of a couple or as an individual) has embraced a number of aspects of the lifestyle (e.g. uninhibited, not hung up on societal norms with relationships, able to self-define and articulate sexual desires, wanting to be part of a larger community of free-thinking libertarians, enjoying frank and open discussion around sex etc.)

As such anyone can have the swinging mentality, regardless of their relationship status.

If you just come on here for a fuck, does that make you a swinger? Depends I guess, like all activities there are parts of that activity that you may not take part in (e.g. parties, clubs, socials etc.) but that doesn’t mean you don’t feel part of that community.

I like riding horses, and there is a “scene” around that, but I don’t like to take part in drag hunting and whilst I admire dressage, it isn’t something I do. But I would still consider myself part of the horsey set"

Pretty much this.

Yes, there will always be puritans who insist that only couples that play with other couples are "proper" swingers, but I personally think it evolved from that a long time ago. There are many different dynamics in the lifestyle, but the mindset is the important part for me.

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By *olly_chromaticTV/TS
over a year ago

Stockport

Proper swingers have pampas grass and white stones in their garden, and hold parties that they advertise in contact magazines. Everybody mingles while sipping Blue Nun wine and nibbling on cheese & pineapple cubes on cocktail sticks. Then all the men throw their car keys into a bowl and the ladies pick one out (obviously only the men do the driving), and the couples go off to separate bedrooms.

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By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich

I can only go by my own experience which is probably 20 years out of date but when I first started on the swinging scene my son, then aged about 6, used to stay with me evry other weekend from Saturday morning to Sunday night. This meant that the free weekends were when I attended swinging functions where the main attraction was playing with couples. On the other alternate weekends I would go to my local O'Neals on a Friday night and usually hook up.

All I know is that both, albeit good fun, were very different and I definitely had some better sex on swinging weekends.

I've seen people, male and female, put on here that if they were in a relationship they would never swing. Those to me aren't swingers at all.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Proper swingers have pampas grass and white stones in their garden, and hold parties that they advertise in contact magazines. Everybody mingles while sipping Blue Nun wine and nibbling on cheese & pineapple cubes on cocktail sticks. Then all the men throw their car keys into a bowl and the ladies pick one out (obviously only the men do the driving), and the couples go off to separate bedrooms. "

Bang on, all the swingle females get to drink Lambrini

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By *r SensualMan
over a year ago

London


"Isn’t it more of a mindset than the actions you participate in? For some swinging is described as a “lifestyle” which is actually more relevant to an individual than it is to a couple (to quote a phrase “1 and 1 make 2, many people forget how important the “and” is”)

So I would say a swinger (whether as part of a couple or as an individual) has embraced a number of aspects of the lifestyle (e.g. uninhibited, not hung up on societal norms with relationships, able to self-define and articulate sexual desires, wanting to be part of a larger community of free-thinking libertarians, enjoying frank and open discussion around sex etc.)

As such anyone can have the swinging mentality, regardless of their relationship status.

If you just come on here for a fuck, does that make you a swinger? Depends I guess, like all activities there are parts of that activity that you may not take part in (e.g. parties, clubs, socials etc.) but that doesn’t mean you don’t feel part of that community.

I like riding horses, and there is a “scene” around that, but I don’t like to take part in drag hunting and whilst I admire dressage, it isn’t something I do. But I would still consider myself part of the horsey set

Pretty much this.

Yes, there will always be puritans who insist that only couples that play with other couples are "proper" swingers, but I personally think it evolved from that a long time ago. There are many different dynamics in the lifestyle, but the mindset is the important part for me."

Absolutely, a friend of mine came to the conclusion that those of us who are single in this lifestyle are “New Age Swingers” I think that has quite a ring to it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm curious about this also, my impression of swinging was that its couples only who swap partners...

But the few months I've been here, it seems its more about whoever feels like it...I mean, there's all kinds of people in all kinds of relationships...I like that. No labels kinda idea"

I kept trying to swap my husband but they constantly returned him.

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By *ecadent_DevonMan
over a year ago

Okehampton


"Proper swingers have pampas grass and white stones in their garden, and hold parties that they advertise in contact magazines. Everybody mingles while sipping Blue Nun wine and nibbling on cheese & pineapple cubes on cocktail sticks. Then all the men throw their car keys into a bowl and the ladies pick one out (obviously only the men do the driving), and the couples go off to separate bedrooms. "

Me and my former partner used to ride to these parties on our tandem, so I would throw the key for my D lock in the bowl

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Proper swingers have pampas grass and white stones in their garden, and hold parties that they advertise in contact magazines. Everybody mingles while sipping Blue Nun wine and nibbling on cheese & pineapple cubes on cocktail sticks. Then all the men throw their car keys into a bowl and the ladies pick one out (obviously only the men do the driving), and the couples go off to separate bedrooms. "

I'll be in it for the cheese and pineapple sticks please

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By *ecadent_DevonMan
over a year ago

Okehampton


"Proper swingers have pampas grass and white stones in their garden, and hold parties that they advertise in contact magazines. Everybody mingles while sipping Blue Nun wine and nibbling on cheese & pineapple cubes on cocktail sticks. Then all the men throw their car keys into a bowl and the ladies pick one out (obviously only the men do the driving), and the couples go off to separate bedrooms.

I'll be in it for the cheese and pineapple sticks please "

This was back in the day when pubes existed. Trust me pineapple on a stick used to end up looking like borrowers microphones

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Proper swingers have pampas grass and white stones in their garden, and hold parties that they advertise in contact magazines. Everybody mingles while sipping Blue Nun wine and nibbling on cheese & pineapple cubes on cocktail sticks. Then all the men throw their car keys into a bowl and the ladies pick one out (obviously only the men do the driving), and the couples go off to separate bedrooms.

I'll be in it for the cheese and pineapple sticks please

This was back in the day when pubes existed. Trust me pineapple on a stick used to end up looking like borrowers microphones "

This has me less keen. Skip the snacks and take me straight to the double penetration then

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My personal opinion when comparing the two is that swingers partake in the social aspect friendship groups, socials, events & parties.

I regard tinder as just a platform to meet others, (I’ve never used it) but I presume it’s mostly singles.

To which you may find other like minded people in this “lifestyle” so to speak…

There are a lot of dynamics to swinging and in my opinion singles can definitely call themselves swingers.

At the end of the day there is nothing engraved to say this is what you must be to qualify as a swinger, I’ve always took it as an open place to make it what you want with all the different aspects and dynamics…

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By *ecadent_DevonMan
over a year ago

Okehampton


"Proper swingers have pampas grass and white stones in their garden, and hold parties that they advertise in contact magazines. Everybody mingles while sipping Blue Nun wine and nibbling on cheese & pineapple cubes on cocktail sticks. Then all the men throw their car keys into a bowl and the ladies pick one out (obviously only the men do the driving), and the couples go off to separate bedrooms.

I'll be in it for the cheese and pineapple sticks please

This was back in the day when pubes existed. Trust me pineapple on a stick used to end up looking like borrowers microphones

This has me less keen. Skip the snacks and take me straight to the double penetration then "

That’s what I like about you Alder, you always see the alternative option

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Swinger's shag loads

Swinger on its own that shags loads is a slag according to the internet

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By *lamorousBeautyLondonWoman
over a year ago

London


"Good question.

I haven't used Tinder or any of those types of apps but from what I know of them and what swinging is to me, I can't see how a single person can be a swinger unless they are in some sort of poly dynamic or are engaging with swinging couples.

Is that too simplistic or naive?"

I guess I better delete my profile then

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By *lamorousBeautyLondonWoman
over a year ago

London


"I do sometimes wonder why single males / females are on here looking for other single male / females …. But then I just give my head a wobble and mind my own business …..

Maybe, just maybe to meet someone to form a couple and officially be accepted into a supposedly open minded community that seem to judge everyone who's pampas grass isn't long enough, their pineapple arn't spikey enough and the anklet doesn't have the correct amount of charms. "

Ironic about the open-minded part, isn't it?

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By *iBBWLondonWoman
over a year ago

London


"Big balls?

Little balls?

Cardboard box? "

Oh, I feel old…

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By *lamorousBeautyLondonWoman
over a year ago

London


"What’s actually a swinger?

Seems 90% of the user base here just hook up. See someone you like, exchange some messages, if things go to plan have a social and maybe some fun

What’s the difference between that and tinder?

What makes someone a swinger? "

Self-awareness, conscious choice and ability to articulate that choice with transparency and without shame, conscious liberation from conventional norms?

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By *ust PeachyWoman
over a year ago

Prestonish

Tbh i think it’s one of those labels that can cause contention but shouldn’t.

I’m on fab rather than tinder etc because on fab I’ve found a whole host on things you’d never find on tinder.

On dating sites - one person chats to one other person until they meet (and potentially fuck) or become disinterested. There is no social scene and there is no emphasis on friendships - just relationships and hook-ups. It looks like a lonely place to me.

Fab - for all we’re supposed to be dirty bastards obsessed with sex (according to the vanillas) - is a place where you can find loads of like minded friends (whether you sleep with them or not) - an amazing social life at clubs, socials and parties and - when you do have sex (whether one on one or in a threesome/larger group) you can discuss likes and dislikes without embarrassment - hopefully resulting in far better sex than you’d have in a vanilla ‘hook up’.

All the above is why I’m on here. Whilst I accept that the ‘core’ of swinging is based on couples - it’s evolved a long way since the internet- and many couples have always wanted singles to enhance their sex lives too - not just other couples.

In my eyes I’m a swinger because I embrace the social side, indulge in group play and am very interested in having a swinging relationship myself if the ‘someone special’ comes along.

However - it doesn’t bother me at all if others disagree with that opinion.

I also think dating sites would benefit hugely by adopting many of the aspects of fab (chat forums, frequent socialising etc) - as I think that many people on them are simply lonely and crave friends and a social life rather than just sex - I know I did when I used them prior to fab.

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By *ockosaurusMan
over a year ago

Warwick

Tinder seems to be full of people wanting a one of shag, or people wanting long term relationships.

I'm not after either at the moment, I'm looking for people to socialise with, become friends with and if an attraction and connection is there have sex with. That's why Tinder is crap for me, and Fab is great.

I 'think' that is more of the swinger attitude. But then everyone is different and does things their own ways.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I do sometimes wonder why single males / females are on here looking for other single male / females …. But then I just give my head a wobble and mind my own business …..

Maybe, just maybe to meet someone to form a couple and officially be accepted into a supposedly open minded community that seem to judge everyone who's pampas grass isn't long enough, their pineapple arn't spikey enough and the anklet doesn't have the correct amount of charms. "

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"What’s actually a swinger?

Seems 90% of the user base here just hook up. See someone you like, exchange some messages, if things go to plan have a social and maybe some fun

What’s the difference between that and tinder?

What makes someone a swinger?

Biggest difference for me is that my FB/FWBs tend to be married and are playing with partner's consent. I know their partners, I've socialised with them, one of them I suspect at some point we'll play as a threesome.

On any of the hookup sites I've been on that just wouldn't happen. If someone on there is married they are looking for a clandestine fuck, nothing more. Partners certainly aren't brought into the loop.

I do meet other singles and in many cases it's easier to arrange, but even then there is the social side of things that doesn't tend to happen on hookup sites I've been on.

I've been told I can't be a swinger because I'm single. Don't give a shiny shite whether someone else considers me a "real" swinger or not, I'll carry on doing my own thing! "

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Isn’t it more of a mindset than the actions you participate in? For some swinging is described as a “lifestyle” which is actually more relevant to an individual than it is to a couple (to quote a phrase “1 and 1 make 2, many people forget how important the “and” is”)

So I would say a swinger (whether as part of a couple or as an individual) has embraced a number of aspects of the lifestyle (e.g. uninhibited, not hung up on societal norms with relationships, able to self-define and articulate sexual desires, wanting to be part of a larger community of free-thinking libertarians, enjoying frank and open discussion around sex etc.)

As such anyone can have the swinging mentality, regardless of their relationship status.

If you just come on here for a fuck, does that make you a swinger? Depends I guess, like all activities there are parts of that activity that you may not take part in (e.g. parties, clubs, socials etc.) but that doesn’t mean you don’t feel part of that community.

I like riding horses, and there is a “scene” around that, but I don’t like to take part in drag hunting and whilst I admire dressage, it isn’t something I do. But I would still consider myself part of the horsey set"

I think this sums it up really well.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What’s actually a swinger?

Seems 90% of the user base here just hook up. See someone you like, exchange some messages, if things go to plan have a social and maybe some fun

What’s the difference between that and tinder?

What makes someone a swinger? "

A little more honesty, maybe? I have only heard about tinder so don't really know

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