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Being good

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By *ea monkey OP   Man
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

‘Good people don’t need credit when they do good things’ is this true?

Does the act of recognition undermine the positive done?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No I don’t think so

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By *riar BelisseWoman
over a year ago

Delightful Bliss

No. People like to praise other people who help them, its when people do these 'helpful' things only for recognition that it turns sour for me

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

I believe in giving credit where credit is due, regardless of normal behaviour.

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By *asilyled1Man
over a year ago

ogmore valley

I do what I do and don’t need any credit for it,it just makes me feel like I’ve helped someone and that’s good enough for me. Food banks etc

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

“Need”

Praise is not needed however is itself nice to receive. The act of kindness ought to be done through desire to help or be kind, reward a byproduct.however as we know we are more inclined to repeat behaviours for which we are rewarded….

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By *elle xWoman
over a year ago

Doire Theas

No it’s not needed but it’s nice to receive

I think if you appreciate someone it’s good to tell them and I always have done this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When I do good things I like to keep quiet about all the good I do. I'm embarrassed when people keep telling me what a good person I am for doing so many good things so best not to even mention the many, many good things I do.

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By *onb21Woman
over a year ago

Cardiff

I don't think it undermines it.

For myself I think recognition/praise could be an uncomfortable spot light, if in public, but I do like to know that my doing has helped or made something better.

The other side is that recognising someone publicly for doing good also sends a message to others that it's a positive thing to do and it can make it normal, so more people may do it.

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch


"No. People like to praise other people who help them, its when people do these 'helpful' things only for recognition that it turns sour for me"

This ^ when individuals post all over social media what they did, it makes me question their motives for doing the good deed. Did they really want to do it or just want to be seen to be doing a good thing. Most will do good deeds without looking for recognition

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It drives me mad when on FB, I see videos of people ‘helping’ others. It’s all for the likes and validation.

Integrity is doing the right thing when no one else is looking.

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By *UGGYBEAR2015Man
over a year ago

BRIDPORT

When I help someone out in some way I don’t really see it as ‘doing good’ as such.

I do it more because I’d like to think if I was in similar circumstances there would be someone, somewhere, who would be there to help me out.

Having said that, when someone thanks you, it’s a good feeling to know that your actions have had a positive impact on someone else’s situation.

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By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester

Getting recognition doesn’t. Telling people in order to receive recognition does. People should make good choices regardless of who is watching.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"‘Good people don’t need credit when they do good things’ is this true?

Does the act of recognition undermine the positive done? "

The act of recognition cheapens things a little for me. Credit isn't needed. More good things are.

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

Yes I think they do. And here’s an example of this.

When I worked in a school office years ago in a secondary school they brought in a praise post card system. Every afternoon I’d be sending out praise postcards to parents of the worst kids in the school because they’d perhaps not kicked off that day. Never once did I send a postcard to the parents of the good kids. I thought it was so wrong.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Costs nothing to be nice to someone & a smile or hello can help make a small difference to anyone

As someone else said you should be nice as it's the right thing to do not for a pat on the back. If someone recognises the effort then that's a nice bonus

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Away for Christmas

We are conditioned in to doing nice things. Not that it's unnatural but from an early age we are "trained" that if you do this then you will be rewarded - the reward could be as simple as small praise and attention.

It is a form of positive reinforcement (potentially bribary), and eventually it becomes more habit than an actual natural motivation. A reward is not always needed by a certain point, eventually just the association between doing something nice and getting a reward triggers the good feeling.

Obviously empathy plays a huge part in it, and some will have some motivation from experience of being in a bad situation themselves. But how often is it said that somebody feels "good" after doing a nice thing, we do nice things because it makes us feel a positive emotion for doing something. Very few will do something for somebody else if it makes the former feel bad doing it.

And there is nothing wrong with doing nice things for a reward, as a good deed was done regardless. Some people just need more than a good feeling for a good deed, they need something more practical, and for some still their only motivation is the reward and recognition as others have said.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Yes I think they do. And here’s an example of this.

When I worked in a school office years ago in a secondary school they brought in a praise post card system. Every afternoon I’d be sending out praise postcards to parents of the worst kids in the school because they’d perhaps not kicked off that day. Never once did I send a postcard to the parents of the good kids. I thought it was so wrong. "

Hmm. Kinda think kids should get the credit for behaving well? They need it more than parents. Two of my kids' schools send home postcards for the kids. Really sweet actually.

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts


"Yes I think they do. And here’s an example of this.

When I worked in a school office years ago in a secondary school they brought in a praise post card system. Every afternoon I’d be sending out praise postcards to parents of the worst kids in the school because they’d perhaps not kicked off that day. Never once did I send a postcard to the parents of the good kids. I thought it was so wrong.

Hmm. Kinda think kids should get the credit for behaving well? They need it more than parents. Two of my kids' schools send home postcards for the kids. Really sweet actually. "

Yeah they should and it is a good idea. My issue was the kids that behave well most of the time didn’t get the postcards.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think personal recognition is always appreciated, not always sought. Usually a thank you from your boss at work will have a positive impact on a persons efforts +morale

For a charity, i think it is vital that they describe the impact of provided support in the hopes of attracting more funding, or helping other charities to see how individuals and businesses can help them achieve their goals - but individuals don't usually want or need validation.

I don't think it cheapens the act if they do need acknowledgement - we are all different - some people need that external validation, whereas others get the buzz without it..and sometimes it helps the charity - look at the public figures they get spearhead campaigns

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Yes I think they do. And here’s an example of this.

When I worked in a school office years ago in a secondary school they brought in a praise post card system. Every afternoon I’d be sending out praise postcards to parents of the worst kids in the school because they’d perhaps not kicked off that day. Never once did I send a postcard to the parents of the good kids. I thought it was so wrong.

Hmm. Kinda think kids should get the credit for behaving well? They need it more than parents. Two of my kids' schools send home postcards for the kids. Really sweet actually.

Yeah they should and it is a good idea. My issue was the kids that behave well most of the time didn’t get the postcards. "

This has been acknowledged in the school i work with, so they are asking the pupils across all streams "how would you like to be recognised" and "what sort of recognition would motivate/engage you"

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts


"Yes I think they do. And here’s an example of this.

When I worked in a school office years ago in a secondary school they brought in a praise post card system. Every afternoon I’d be sending out praise postcards to parents of the worst kids in the school because they’d perhaps not kicked off that day. Never once did I send a postcard to the parents of the good kids. I thought it was so wrong.

Hmm. Kinda think kids should get the credit for behaving well? They need it more than parents. Two of my kids' schools send home postcards for the kids. Really sweet actually.

Yeah they should and it is a good idea. My issue was the kids that behave well most of the time didn’t get the postcards.

This has been acknowledged in the school i work with, so they are asking the pupils across all streams "how would you like to be recognised" and "what sort of recognition would motivate/engage you" "

I think it’s great if it’s done properly. I like seeing my youngest’s little proud face when she gets praised for something from someone other than us . Kids do love it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think personal recognition is always appreciated, not always sought. Usually a thank you from your boss at work will have a positive impact on a persons efforts +morale

For a charity, i think it is vital that they describe the impact of provided support in the hopes of attracting more funding, or helping other charities to see how individuals and businesses can help them achieve their goals - but individuals don't usually want or need validation.

I don't think it cheapens the act if they do need acknowledgement - we are all different - some people need that external validation, whereas others get the buzz without it..and sometimes it helps the charity - look at the public figures they get spearhead campaigns "

Some very good points. Perhaps it's the way it's done and the way recognition is accepted - there is a line. There is a gentleman in my local area who has just popped up on a local FB group posing with a new council bin. He reported the damage to the previous bin. He never fails to have a photo of him to document every good thing he does on behalf of his party (not a counsillor).

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