FabSwingers.com forum: True Friends

By *ensuallover1000 OP Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

A simple question but please think about it for a moment before answering:

How many people in your life do you consider to be genuine friends?

By what criteria do you judge said people as true friends as opposed to acquaintances?

Do you surround yourself with a large body of friends or do you prefer to cherish a smaller, more concentrated number?

Finally, do you consider yourself to be a good friend and what qualities quantify this?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I differentiate between friends, acquaintances and colleagues.

For true friends I am fortunate to have a small select group. I have been to their house or they have been to mine, I don't have to put on a face when with them and vice versa. I know I could ring them at 2am and vice versa

I think I am a good friend and would be there for them as they are for me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Three genuine friends, known each of them for at least 20 years. That's enough for me and I'm blessed to have them.

More that I consider as good friends, including on here, but they're not on the same level of understanding and trust.

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By *lofeldMan
over a year ago

Redhill

I'm lucky to have had the same group of friends for over 30 years, some since infant school.

Then mixed in with that, countless old work colleagues who I also consider friends. I may not see them much anymore but I can get in touch and we'll pick up where we left off.

I certainly don't let anyone into my circle who I'm not sure about, but I have a good nose for a wrong un'

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By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester

I have one that’s more like a sister that’s been my best mate since we were 3.. a couple of people who i class as old, close friends and a handful collected over recent years. I’m very private and keep my circle small.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have 2 friends who I’ve known since infrants… we are honest bitches to each others face and drink lots of wine together every couple of months…. I know we are all honest and loyal to one another I’d consider them true friends..

I think the qualities of a good friend is to listen when needed and give an opinion when asked… we all make mistakes but we don’t need kicked when we are down….

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

I don't have any childhood friends that I'm still in touch with. I let those I used to be friendly with drift away because I realised the friendship was a one way street. I was always there for them in times of need but it wasn't reciprocated.

Work colleagues have basically been just that over the years. I know very few of their families and have never been in their homes.

The people I trust most are those I've met in the last 3 or 4 years and that trust is based on the fact they take the time to check in with me and our friendship works both ways. It's all about give and take.

If I see a friendship slipping away because I'm the one calling and visiting and the one making all the effort I honestly don't have the energy or inclination to fight to keep their friendship.

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By *uriousscouserWoman
over a year ago

Wirral

I have two very close friends where I know I can count on them for support and I've supported them through their crappy times too. I know I could phone them and they'd suspend judgement to help. They will be honest if they think I'm making mistakes but they support me in my right to ignore advice and make those mistakes anyway.

They know my family and one of them gets invited to family events as though she's my girlfriend. I'd be heartbroken to lose those friendships.

I then have half a dozen close mates. Yes, we can talk about most things, yes we know each other very well and they're always welcome at my home, but if calamity struck tomorrow they wouldn't be the first people I would turn to.

I have a huge circle of acquaintances - people whose company and conversation I enjoy but where it's at a very superficial level. They actually know very little about my life beyond the surface of it.

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

4 good friends

Am I a good friend

Absolutely x

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By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet

I am fortunate I have 9 actual good friends.

A real friend is there for the hard times as well as the good.

Am I a good friend?

Yus I think so

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A simple question but please think about it for a moment before answering:

How many people in your life do you consider to be genuine friends?

By what criteria do you judge said people as true friends as opposed to acquaintances?

Do you surround yourself with a large body of friends or do you prefer to cherish a smaller, more concentrated number?

Finally, do you consider yourself to be a good friend and what qualities quantify this?

I have 4 true friends. They live between 40 to 340 miles away so I don't get to see them as often as I'd like. I consider them true friends because I love them like family and it would hurt to lose them or their friendship.

I would love more friends, 1 or 2 that live near to me to be able to visit each other and spend time together, I was having a little cry about this just today, feeling pretty lonely, sitting by the river on my own with a coffee.

I feel I am a good friend, Im a great listener, I always make myself available outside of work hours for them, always help out when needed. I'm a giver, and I've had to cut "friends" out of my life in recent years that just bled me dry, the friendship was all one way and I got to the stage after pointing it out, that I had to step away because they still made no effort for me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

one.

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By *heVonMatterhornsCouple
over a year ago

Lincoln

Two or three probably. Only the one that I would really call a close friend but even him I'm not *super* close with... I guess I'm just kind of a shut in

LvM

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have lots of friends but I would say only 1 friend that I could rely on for anything and I met her through fab. She’s my total rock and will be the god mother to my son

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

Probably one, maybe two.

Most likely just the one though.

I go through periods of trying to build new relationships and friendships but end up getting let down.

It’s very rare to find someone who genuinely cares and is there as much as you are for them

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By *eatrice BadinageWoman
over a year ago

In a Sparkly Dress

We are a inner circle of 6 and have ultimate trust and love in each other, I know if the shit hit the fan they would be there in an instant.

I am also a social butterfly and have a lot of friendly acquaintances both in real life and on here

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By *not123Couple
over a year ago

sp1

I have very few genuine friends lots of friends. But my true ones don't judge me take me for who I am but also not afraid to have words with me n give their opinions if I'm being a numpty . Someone who sees me loosing the plot at times are checks on me n if we have a fall out we sorted it

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

The longer I live, the shorter the list gets. It's in single digits anyway.

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By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

I have 2 really close friends who I couldn't imagine not having in my life. I trust them with everything x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Probably one, maybe two.

Most likely just the one though.

I go through periods of trying to build new relationships and friendships but end up getting let down.

It’s very rare to find someone who genuinely cares and is there as much as you are for them "

Do you think you perhaps have unrealistic expectations of what friendship is/entails?

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By *iamondCougarWoman
over a year ago

Norfuck! / Lincolnshire

I’m fortunate enough to have around 6 GOOD friends who would be there in an instant if I needed help and vice versa but they are really valuable to me.

We all have mutual respect for one another, it’s a close knit social group, we all enjoy one another’s company.

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By *ack688Man
over a year ago

abruzzo Italy (and UK)

It’s potentially one, but maybe none.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have a very small circle of actually close friends, most of my friends that I have are swingers. I have work friends but if I ever was to leave there, we wouldn't see each other again.

I find it hard to make friends and it's taken me along time to find this circle I have now.

Danish x

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

"Probably one, maybe two.

Most likely just the one though.

I go through periods of trying to build new relationships and friendships but end up getting let down.

It’s very rare to find someone who genuinely cares and is there as much as you are for them

Do you think you perhaps have unrealistic expectations of what friendship is/entails?"

What do you think that friendship entails?

I’m interested as to why you’ve asked me this question and not other people who have responded in a similar vein

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No old friends grown away from them as the years have gone by. Nowadays mates are so hard to find as you get older.

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By *untime5Man
over a year ago

Cornwall

Around 6, but spread out around the world. Finally being able to travel and hug them again has been soo good

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By *oddess NailaWoman
over a year ago

London & Edinburgh

11 really close friends, these are the people that have seen the worst of me and still love regardless. They’ll always be there for me as I will for them.

20 very good friends that know me fairly well, their families know me etc but they wouldn’t be the ones I call first if things get bad

I have a small number of colleagues that I socialise with and I really enjoy their company but it’s all still at a surface level.

I think I’m a good friend but it’s never easy to see your own flaws so who knows. There’s times I’ve been unintentionally selfish or hurtful but I’ve always apologised and made amends when I’ve had a moment to reflect.

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By *ockosaurusMan
over a year ago

Warwick

True friends? None

I thought I had at numerous points in the past, but I've either fucked things up or when they were most needed they have let me down.

I now have a small set of good friends that I love hanging out with, but I don't think I can call them true friends as most don't 'really' know me as I don't let my guard down and open myself up to them.

It takes someone very special to do that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Several. I made my tribe few years back and I can still count on them and come to them with anything even if we don't meet as often as we used to. They are forgiving, supportive and caring and I am very lucky. I never needed a sort of friend I have to check on every day. But I always needed a connection which can survive any storm and any time or distance.

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By *evil-AngelWoman
over a year ago

Nearby

I have some good friends that I chat to often but no one I would go to regularly if I had major problems.

I sometimes try to open up to people but I usually feel like I'm bothering them so I pull back and keep it light from then on instead.

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By *urls and DressesWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere near here

I have several groups of friends that I’ve picked up over the years. One group is my primary school friends, they’ve been there through everything. Another is an ex work colleague and his partner; we’ve just had quite an amazing time recently and certainly concreted our friendship.

I’d say they’re my absolute truest of friends. I find I loose trust easier these days after experiences of people I considered friends once upon a time

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By *oudLoutishLoverWoman
over a year ago

Colchester

I have no friends. My school friends have drifted away and I have no desire for any more.

I’m sure this marks me as a weirdo or sociopath, but I do genuinely like people. I just don’t want any of them in my life.

Yours,

Ted Bundy

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By *entleman JayMan
over a year ago

Wakefield

I’m currently away with three friends I’ve known about 35 years. Great memories made together.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

“Friends are like BOOBS. Some are big. Some are small. Some are real. Some are fake.”

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

"“Friends are like BOOBS. Some are big. Some are small. Some are real. Some are fake.”

Some dangle round your knees?!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"“Friends are like BOOBS. Some are big. Some are small. Some are real. Some are fake.”

I thought they meant to be like bras. Supportive;-) comfortable. Always lift you up

and good ones are hard to find !

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By *odgerMooreMan
over a year ago

Carlisle

Because I was a musician I have a wide circle if acquaintances but one ir two close friends who ive known most of My life. Friends are people who spend time with you with mo agenda - they dont want anything from you but your time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"“Friends are like BOOBS. Some are big. Some are small. Some are real. Some are fake.”

I thought they meant to be like bras. Supportive;-) comfortable. Always lift you up

and good ones are hard to find !"

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

I've got a lot of people I'd probably say are friends. They're people I've known over the years, who when we ever pick up the phone and talk, or (so very rarely) see each other, it flows. It's like we were never apart. But if I needed support or help I'd not go to them. I have a very small tribe of closer, more involved friends, people who I can talk to about anything and everything, and all but one of those people I met here.

And there is one person who I know that if I need him, in soul or in person, he will be there. As soon as he can, if not sooner.

It's hard making friends as an adult, but it is worth it, and they can remain for a lifetime.

As for the last part of the OP, I don't know if I'm a good friend. I've been called it, I like to think it, but I can be selfish and self involved as the next person. I can be damn hard work. If someone I care about needs me though, I'm there. And I tend to stick. My people are awesome human beans, and my life is better with each of them in it, whether they believe it or not. I want to keep them please.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

5# people in my life I consider to be genuine friends.

As for the criteria i’d say the footprint they leave in my heart would be deemed as a good indicator to say these people are my true friends as opposed to acquaintances.

Answer given to your question 1 addresses this question with regards to qty. I cherish the 5# real friends in my life.

Yes, I consider myself to be a good friend because my love for them is real; and my answer to your final question in terms of what qualities quantify this - well that would my love for them is unconditional.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

None. I don’t inspire much loyalty, and as a result I tend to drift away from people I know before a friendship has a chance to develop.

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