FabSwingers.com forum: What would you do

By *rincessPuddleDuck22 OP Woman
over a year ago

.•°°

How do you guys deal with lies I usually just let it go over my head and ignore it but this time I really trusted that person.

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

I ask them for the truth, ask them why they lied and then systematically take them apart, body, life and soul.

Because I'm an absolute delight.

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By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester

I do not accept lies. I’m very very clear on basic expectations of being friends with someone. I’ll challenge the lie. Explain how shit it made me feel then remove them from a position of trust and move on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People who lie will always lie. Even when it’s unnecessary.

If in a relationship with a liar. Move on, don’t give second chances . Because leopards don’t change their spots. Ever.

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

Lies don’t work in my world. You get caught lying you get removed

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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

If someone I trust has lied to me especially over some thing that completely betrays my trust then we are finished there would be no point in continuing the friendship as it won't recover I have found because I would never trust them again.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lying is part of our psychological defence mechanisms. It’s essential. Before condemning the person for the lies, first seek to find out why and what it is they are fearful of.

For sure it’s still likely to be all negative, but every once in a while you may find yourself with the opportunity to help someone because you took the time to care and ask

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How do you guys deal with lies I usually just let it go over my head and ignore it but this time I really trusted that person. "

I suppose it depends on the context OP, some little white lies you can over look as everybody is guilty of them in their everyday lives. There are other kinds of lies that may be towards the unforgivable end of the scale.

NBVN x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Lying is part of our psychological defence mechanisms. It’s essential. Before condemning the person for the lies, first seek to find out why and what it is they are fearful of.

For sure it’s still likely to be all negative, but every once in a while you may find yourself with the opportunity to help someone because you took the time to care and ask"

Can you provide an example where you’ve lied and thought it was acceptable . Because i don’t think there is a defence to lying. Please make it a good lie, not a white lie.

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By *rincessPuddleDuck22 OP Woman
over a year ago

.•°°

"Lying is part of our psychological defence mechanisms. It’s essential. Before condemning the person for the lies, first seek to find out why and what it is they are fearful of.

For sure it’s still likely to be all negative, but every once in a while you may find yourself with the opportunity to help someone because you took the time to care and ask"

I don't think I need to help he was off on a "perfect first date"

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By *hroatQueen_CATV/TS
over a year ago

Carlisle

Compulsive liars are narcissistic! You have had a lucky escape and you don't want someone fake in your life. x

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By *atricia ParnelWoman
over a year ago

In a town full of colours

I start removing them from my life, I don't need to hear more excuses from them

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By *nliveneTV/TS
over a year ago

Selby

I don't deal well with lies at all and if comes from a person who i trust then it’s very diferent, it hurts it breaks my heart!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Depends on what they mean to me

If it’s just a Fb or fwb or a random one nighter

Cut them out my life

If they mean more to me try and find out why they lied and see the relationship is salvageable

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"I ask them for the truth, ask them why they lied and then systematically take them apart, body, life and soul.

Because I'm an absolute delight."

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

It depends how much I've invested in them. If it's a casual acquaintance or work colleague I don't really pay any heed.

If it's from someone I've placed my trust in and their lie directly or indirectly impacts that then I would cut all ties.

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

Cut them off end of. Not even interested in reasons or excuses. Even it’s a lie so as not to upset me. That’s not how I work.

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

Depends who, and the entire context of the lie and its situation.

My reaction may vary greatly.

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

"Cut them off end of. Not even interested in reasons or excuses. Even it’s a lie so as not to upset me. That’s not how I work. "

I assume we’re talking fab yeah?

Real life it would depend on too much.

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By *rincessPuddleDuck22 OP Woman
over a year ago

.•°°

"Cut them off end of. Not even interested in reasons or excuses. Even it’s a lie so as not to upset me. That’s not how I work.

I assume we’re talking fab yeah?

Real life it would depend on too much. "

Yeah just here but I thought it was a just here so far..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had an ex who I spent two years with who was a compulsive pathological liar to the point he told me his dad had died and read me his eulogy when in fact he was alive and kicking. I’m now wary of who I trust and with what I trust them with. As others have said little white lies that won’t harm anyone are acceptable but things that could emotionally harm someone hell no. Cut them off. Hold your head high and move the hell on.

. Xx

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By *lofeldMan
over a year ago

Redhill

"I had an ex who I spent two years with who was a compulsive pathological liar to the point he told me his dad had died and read me his eulogy when in fact he was alive and kicking. I’m now wary of who I trust and with what I trust them with. As others have said little white lies that won’t harm anyone are acceptable but things that could emotionally harm someone hell no. Cut them off. Hold your head high and move the hell on.

. Xx

OMG. Yeah I can see why you're wary. What a nob! To put it politely.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lies in fab world = block, delete and be gone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Depends who, and the entire context of the lie and its situation.

My reaction may vary greatly. "

I’d love an example and what context would look like .

You see I think some people confuse the difference between being tactful and lying.

I think when lying is mentioned in this thread, we aren’t talking about little white lies.

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By *luebell888Woman
over a year ago

Glasgowish

I never ignore lies. I would want to know the reasons why I was lied to.

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By * Sophie xTV/TS
over a year ago

Derby

Simply drop them and move on, they're not good enough to tell you the truth so they're not good enough to be given your time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

. Xx

OMG. Yeah I can see why you're wary. What a nob! To put it politely. "

Just the tip of the iceberg of lies he told me. It was actually quite sickening. He was so convincing. He told me he had lost a child which I sadly know the pain of when in fact his son was thriving. To the point we went to a church and I lit candles and wrote in the memorial book for two people who weren’t dead. He totally prayed on my niceness and emotional side. Sickening.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Simply drop them and move on, they're not good enough to tell you the truth so they're not good enough to be given your time."

Amen!

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By *hroatQueen_CATV/TS
over a year ago

Carlisle

"Simply drop them and move on, they're not good enough to tell you the truth so they're not good enough to be given your time."
Amen

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By *lofeldMan
over a year ago

Redhill

. Xx

OMG. Yeah I can see why you're wary. What a nob! To put it politely.

How bloody heartless. That's as bad as I have ever heard about, in this type of scenario anyway. He's obviously deficient psychologically and you are better off a million miles away from that. X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would want to know why so that I could deal with it and then move on. Ignorance is not always bliss, it's better to know in order to learn from the bad experience. Had this happen to me and after an 11 month relationship up to May last year, finding out that your partner is a self-serving narcissist who'll lie and do anything to get what he wants, doesn't deserve me. He took advantage of me financially as was greedy. I didn't ask why and didn't ask about his lies because he showed his reasons through his behaviour. Walk away from people like that and move forward x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The moment a guy asks for a loan or some money. Run. Run fast. You’re with a loser.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I would want to know why so that I could deal with it and then move on. Ignorance is not always bliss, it's better to know in order to learn from the bad experience. Had this happen to me and after an 11 month relationship up to May last year, finding out that your partner is a self-serving narcissist who'll lie and do anything to get what he wants, doesn't deserve me. He took advantage of me financially as was greedy. I didn't ask why and didn't ask about his lies because he showed his reasons through his behaviour. Walk away from people like that and move forward x"

Gosh sounds like we both had a narrow escape. Sorry to hear this. Definitely move on xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The moment a guy asks for a loan or some money. Run. Run fast. You’re with a loser. "

Unfortunately that's what happened with me, he took out a loan and pressured me into being his Guarantor x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Gosh sounds like we both had a narrow escape. Sorry to hear this. Definitely move on xx"

Glad to hear you're moving on too xx

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By *partharmonyCouple
over a year ago

Ruislip

It depends on the lie, the person, the intent, the impact, and probably various other factors.

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