FabSwingers.com forum: House Rules....

By *emmefatale OP Woman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

What are yours?

I have several....one is....

If you have to fart stick your ass out the window.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Put the toilet seat down.

If you make a mess, clear it up.

Don't let the cats out, whatever they tell you.

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By *emmefatale OP Woman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"Put the toilet seat down.

If you make a mess, clear it up.

Don't let the cats out, whatever they tell you."
Now the toilet seat thing has never bothered me.....but not replacing the loo roll when its run out does!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you are sitting in MY chair, take the pillow from behind you first and DO NOT flatten it with your hefty back and ass.

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By *unky monkeyMan
over a year ago

in the night garden

It puts the lotion in the basket.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's one of my OCD things. I have a few. If magazines or papers are piled anywhere, the pile has to be neat and straight at the edges.

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By *emmefatale OP Woman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"It's one of my OCD things. I have a few. If magazines or papers are piled anywhere, the pile has to be neat and straight at the edges."
Towels have to be folded and in line.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I also hate loose coins left laying around on surfaces or just dropped on the floor. I can't be in a room where they are. No idea why but I feel revulsion.

If you pour tea or coffee down the sink, rinse it down so it doesn't stain.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Definitely toilet seat down and replace loo roll!

Don't leave towels on the floor or bed

Or underwear/clothes, there really isn't a fairy that exists merely to pick them up to put in the washing basket

Another house rule, don't drink my wine

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When cooking there is no need to use every implement in the kitchen

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Curtains must be straight and lined up properly when open in said hold backs

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By *emmefatale OP Woman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"When cooking there is no need to use every implement in the kitchen

"
Thats a fave of mine used in conjunction with an addition of....if you do you wash the buggers up!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do not through condoms on the floor and clean up after yourself

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Shoes do not live by the back door

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By *xscotMan
over a year ago

Kingston

"When cooking there is no need to use every implement in the kitchen

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When cooking there is no need to use every implement in the kitchen

Thats a fave of mine used in conjunction with an addition of....if you do you wash the buggers up!

Yes! Or else the kitchen cleaning fairies exist!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When cooking there is no need to use every implement in the kitchen

Or if you really must, then at least wash the bloody things up after yourself.

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By *xscotMan
over a year ago

Kingston

"When cooking there is no need to use every implement in the kitchen

This time I will try writing too

How can a man do creative cooking without using lots of pots and pans - there are always so many components required for fancy food - lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Cushions live neatly on the sofas not just chucked

Don't sit in my seat

Books must be stacked neatly on the bookcases in a specific order, subject, genre and height order

Cupboards must be stacked appropriately and tins aligned

Maybe I should shut up now

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When cooking there is no need to use every implement in the kitchen

This time I will try writing too

How can a man do creative cooking without using lots of pots and pans - there are always so many components required for fancy food - lol "

The same way a woman does but just need to use half the amount, or clean up after yourself!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Put the toilet seat down.

If you make a mess, clear it up.

Don't let the cats out, whatever they tell you.Now the toilet seat thing has never bothered me.....but not replacing the loo roll when its run out does!

And putting the empty roll in the bin!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Cocks are not to be wiped on the curtains.

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By *xscotMan
over a year ago

Kingston

"Cocks are not to be wiped on the curtains."

However Hens are permitted

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Cocks are not to be wiped on the curtains."

Or nearest towel/ piece of clothing!

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By *xodussxMan
over a year ago

sheffield

"Curtains must be straight and lined up properly when open in said hold backs

"
seems like I am reading my mum

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Turn the light off when you leave the room, the house isn't supposed to be Blackpool Illuminations!

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By *he Ring WraithMan
over a year ago

Bradford

No one drinks my last can of beer, its for me later.

(Rarely is there only one can left in the fridge though).

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Absolutely no farting in bed!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do not switch the television on and then wander off to do something else, leaving it on.

Do not mess up the alphabetical order of my CDs and DVDs and do not change how my books are arranged.

If you get something out, put it away when you have finished with it.

Do not leave crumbs over the worktops.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If your coming to visit, make sure you do at least a little bit of my ironing befor you leave

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By *ourbonKissMan
over a year ago

a land up north..... of leicester

I don't have much money, but boy if I did... I'd buy a big house where we both could live!

My house rule is always bring a big bag full of fun! X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wipe your feet on the door mat!

After cutting the grass try not to get cuttings all through the house

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By *edangel_2013Woman
over a year ago

southend

Borrow a book or a dvd without asking by all means. But put it back exactly where you got it from, and the same way up that it was.

I actually cannot sleep if a dvd or book is the wrong way on the shelves!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you dribble when you tiddle, wipe the seat!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you dribble when you tiddle, wipe the seat!"

If you sprinkle when you tinkle, be a sweetie, wipe the seatie.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Put the toilet seat down.

If you make a mess, clear it up.

Don't let the cats out, whatever they tell you."

My ex used to complain if I left the toilet seat up and she'd complain if I pissed all over it.

No pleasing some people...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wash your hands before preparing food!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Put the toilet seat down.

If you make a mess, clear it up.

Don't let the cats out, whatever they tell you.

My ex used to complain if I left the toilet seat up and she'd complain if I pissed all over it.

No pleasing some people..."

Er, lift it to pee and put it down again afterwards. Or sit down to pee. Or wipe up your mess afterwards.

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By *empting Devil.Woman
over a year ago

Sheffield

"Put the toilet seat down.

If you make a mess, clear it up.

Don't let the cats out, whatever they tell you.

My ex used to complain if I left the toilet seat up and she'd complain if I pissed all over it.

No pleasing some people..."

Not just the seat at my house. The toilet has a lid for a reason (to keep noxious smells contained and to stop the cats from falling in) both seat and lid should be lowered after use

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you dribble when you tiddle, wipe the seat!"

Do you goose step around the house?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Put the toilet seat down.

If you make a mess, clear it up.

Don't let the cats out, whatever they tell you.

My ex used to complain if I left the toilet seat up and she'd complain if I pissed all over it.

No pleasing some people...

Not just the seat at my house. The toilet has a lid for a reason (to keep noxious smells contained and to stop the cats from falling in) both seat and lid should be lowered after use

Same here, for the same reasons.

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By *ourbonKissMan
over a year ago

a land up north..... of leicester

"Wash your hands before preparing food!

Lol, are all guests at chez Julie required to cook then?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Put the toilet seat down.

If you make a mess, clear it up.

Don't let the cats out, whatever they tell you.

My ex used to complain if I left the toilet seat up and she'd complain if I pissed all over it.

No pleasing some people...

Not just the seat at my house. The toilet has a lid for a reason (to keep noxious smells contained and to stop the cats from falling in) both seat and lid should be lowered after use

I am house trained really, especially after reading that flushing without closing the lid can lead to particles landing on toothbrushes - shudder.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Cocks are not to be wiped on the curtains.

Or nearest towel/ piece of clothing!"

Licked clean, Julie. Much more hygienic!

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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago

In Your Bush

You girls have got serious issues

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It puts the lotion in the basket."
lol silence of lambs love it xxxx

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By *issBehavingxxWoman
over a year ago

Glasgow

If you change the loo roll...... Put it on the right way round!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Wash your hands before preparing food!

Lol, are all guests at chez Julie required to cook then?"

Yes it is a requirement that all guests serve up something mighty tasty for me to eat

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

if my wine glass is empty time to find a new BF

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

shut cupboard doors and drawers after use

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's my TV, no you can't X-Factor on it.

No, I don't need help in the kitchen.

don't order my dogs around. They live here, you don't.

Don't touch my guitars if you can't play one.

I've got tons...lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"if my wine glass is empty time to find a new BF"

100% agree there!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"shut cupboard doors and drawers after use"

Oh Christ, that really grinds my gears!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You girls have got serious issues

You only just noticed?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No, you can't have the passcode for the router.

The bin is where rubbish goes, not the floor or left in my car.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you dribble when you tiddle, wipe the seat!

Do you goose step around the house?

Nope I do the duck dance

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By *ourbonKissMan
over a year ago

a land up north..... of leicester

"Wash your hands before preparing food!

Lol, are all guests at chez Julie required to cook then?

Yes it is a requirement that all guests serve up something mighty tasty for me to eat

Is this before, during or after playtime?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Wash your hands before preparing food!

Lol, are all guests at chez Julie required to cook then?

Yes it is a requirement that all guests serve up something mighty tasty for me to eat

Is this before, during or after playtime?

This is as soon as I open the front door to you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Wash your hands before preparing food!

Lol, are all guests at chez Julie required to cook then?

Yes it is a requirement that all guests serve up something mighty tasty for me to eat

Is this before, during or after playtime?

This is as soon as I open the front door to you

Makes mental note "if ever invited to Julie's, take a pinny and possibly a pair of Marrigolds!"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Wash your hands before preparing food!

Lol, are all guests at chez Julie required to cook then?

Yes it is a requirement that all guests serve up something mighty tasty for me to eat

Is this before, during or after playtime?

This is as soon as I open the front door to you

Makes mental note "if ever invited to Julie's, take a pinny and possibly a pair of Marrigolds!""

Don't worry I can provide all the equipment necessary

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Wash your hands before preparing food!

Lol, are all guests at chez Julie required to cook then?

Yes it is a requirement that all guests serve up something mighty tasty for me to eat

Is this before, during or after playtime?

This is as soon as I open the front door to you

Makes mental note "if ever invited to Julie's, take a pinny and possibly a pair of Marrigolds!"

Don't worry I can provide all the equipment necessary

I hope your knives are sharp then. I cannot abide blunt knives!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Wash your hands before preparing food!

Lol, are all guests at chez Julie required to cook then?

Yes it is a requirement that all guests serve up something mighty tasty for me to eat

Is this before, during or after playtime?

This is as soon as I open the front door to you

Makes mental note "if ever invited to Julie's, take a pinny and possibly a pair of Marrigolds!"

Don't worry I can provide all the equipment necessary

I hope your knives are sharp then. I cannot abide blunt knives!

Oh hell yes as feel exactly the same!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Wash your hands before preparing food!

Lol, are all guests at chez Julie required to cook then?

Yes it is a requirement that all guests serve up something mighty tasty for me to eat

Is this before, during or after playtime?

This is as soon as I open the front door to you

Makes mental note "if ever invited to Julie's, take a pinny and possibly a pair of Marrigolds!"

Don't worry I can provide all the equipment necessary

I hope your knives are sharp then. I cannot abide blunt knives!

Oh hell yes as feel exactly the same!"

I'll leave the sharpening steel at home then.

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By *ourbonKissMan
over a year ago

a land up north..... of leicester

"Wash your hands before preparing food!

Lol, are all guests at chez Julie required to cook then?

Yes it is a requirement that all guests serve up something mighty tasty for me to eat

Is this before, during or after playtime?

This is as soon as I open the front door to you

In that case I'll pre-cook my famous shepherd pie then.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What are yours?

I have several....one is....

If you have to fart stick your ass out the window.

hopefully that is before .........

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By *empting Devil.Woman
over a year ago

Sheffield

"You girls have got serious issues

But you know if you got an invite you'd abide by every rule!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

only rule i have is that people don't smoke in our home

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

they don't touch my art books......

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By *aceytopWoman
over a year ago

from a town near you

jeeees i must be a right slob

how do you ladies ever sleep at night

i just like a tidy house

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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago

In Your Bush

"You girls have got serious issues

But you know if you got an invite you'd abide by every rule!

reading those posts you wouldn't want me lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You girls have got serious issues

But you know if you got an invite you'd abide by every rule!

reading those posts you wouldn't want me lol"

But we know you'd be on your best behaviour

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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago

In Your Bush

"You girls have got serious issues

But you know if you got an invite you'd abide by every rule!

reading those posts you wouldn't want me lol

But we know you'd be on your best behaviour

sat on the driveway with a and a packet of crisps

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Wash your hands before preparing food!

Lol, are all guests at chez Julie required to cook then?

Yes it is a requirement that all guests serve up something mighty tasty for me to eat

Is this before, during or after playtime?

This is as soon as I open the front door to you

In that case I'll pre-cook my famous shepherd pie then.

Bet it isn't as good as mine

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You girls have got serious issues

But you know if you got an invite you'd abide by every rule!

reading those posts you wouldn't want me lol

But we know you'd be on your best behaviour

sat on the driveway with a and a packet of crisps

Ok bro! You've got your key?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Wash your hands before preparing food!

Lol, are all guests at chez Julie required to cook then?

Yes it is a requirement that all guests serve up something mighty tasty for me to eat

Is this before, during or after playtime?

This is as soon as I open the front door to you

In that case I'll pre-cook my famous shepherd pie then.

Bet it isn't as good as mine

I make a mean Melanzane Parmagiana.

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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago

In Your Bush

"You girls have got serious issues

But you know if you got an invite you'd abide by every rule!

reading those posts you wouldn't want me lol

But we know you'd be on your best behaviour

sat on the driveway with a and a packet of crisps

Ok bro! You've got your key?"

nope lost it again

dont worry, postie said I can use his

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You girls have got serious issues

But you know if you got an invite you'd abide by every rule!

reading those posts you wouldn't want me lol

But we know you'd be on your best behaviour

sat on the driveway with a and a packet of crisps

Ok bro! You've got your key?

nope lost it again

dont worry, postie said I can use his"

Hurry up, I am just cooking something for you, and I am so going to tell Mum that you were late for dinner again

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By *kyblue2681Woman
over a year ago

manchester

Put toilet seat and lid down

Turn lights off when not in room

Do not delete anything of mine of the tivo box

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Food to be eaten at the table. No food or drinks in the front room. Cushions belong in one position, curtains have to be drawn back and tied in exact position, under know circumstances are you allowed in my bedroom with anything on your feet except socks.

Do not "fish" through anything of mine, if you want something ask.

Do not put the empty coffee container back in the fridge without telling me we have run out

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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago

In Your Bush

"You girls have got serious issues

But you know if you got an invite you'd abide by every rule!

reading those posts you wouldn't want me lol

But we know you'd be on your best behaviour

sat on the driveway with a and a packet of crisps

Ok bro! You've got your key?

nope lost it again

dont worry, postie said I can use his

Hurry up, I am just cooking something for you, and I am so going to tell Mum that you were late for dinner again

Unless its fish fingers I'm not coming home

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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago

In Your Bush

"Put toilet seat and lid down

Turn lights off when not in room

Do not delete anything of mine of the tivo box

See I have never understood this. Is it not easier for the woman to put the seat back up after they have used it? They moan if it's not put down or moan if it's down covered in erm....wet stuff

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You girls have got serious issues

But you know if you got an invite you'd abide by every rule!

reading those posts you wouldn't want me lol

But we know you'd be on your best behaviour

sat on the driveway with a and a packet of crisps

Ok bro! You've got your key?

nope lost it again

dont worry, postie said I can use his

Hurry up, I am just cooking something for you, and I am so going to tell Mum that you were late for dinner again

Unless its fish fingers I'm not coming home

It is fish, but not fingers

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Put toilet seat and lid down

Turn lights off when not in room

Do not delete anything of mine of the tivo box

See I have never understood this. Is it not easier for the woman to put the seat back up after they have used it? They moan if it's not put down or moan if it's down covered in erm....wet stuff"

I just cleaned the downstairs loos after you visit earlier, not a pretty site, and no it is easier and less energy to put it down, not up

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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago

In Your Bush

"Put toilet seat and lid down

Turn lights off when not in room

Do not delete anything of mine of the tivo box

See I have never understood this. Is it not easier for the woman to put the seat back up after they have used it? They moan if it's not put down or moan if it's down covered in erm....wet stuff

I just cleaned the downstairs loos after you visit earlier, not a pretty site, and no it is easier and less energy to put it down, not up

Pmsl I'm guessing you cleaned the ceiling as well then ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Put toilet seat and lid down

Turn lights off when not in room

Do not delete anything of mine of the tivo box

See I have never understood this. Is it not easier for the woman to put the seat back up after they have used it? They moan if it's not put down or moan if it's down covered in erm....wet stuff

I just cleaned the downstairs loos after you visit earlier, not a pretty site, and no it is easier and less energy to put it down, not up

Pmsl I'm guessing you cleaned the ceiling as well then ?"

Anyway where men could point and shoot, of course!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

DO NOT speak when I am watching Doctor Who

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh my so many things that drives people mad thanks goodness I'm so chilled that nothing bothers me lol

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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago

In Your Bush

"Oh my so many things that drives people mad thanks goodness I'm so chilled that nothing bothers me lol"

Watch this space I'm good at bothering

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By *issBehavingxxWoman
over a year ago

Glasgow

"See I have never understood this. Is it not easier for the woman to put the seat back up after they have used it? They moan if it's not put down or moan if it's down covered in erm....wet stuff"

No, no and no.... Try being bursting for the loo.... with a soft close toilet seat that takes about 10 seconds to go down

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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago

In Your Bush

"See I have never understood this. Is it not easier for the woman to put the seat back up after they have used it? They moan if it's not put down or moan if it's down covered in erm....wet stuff

No, no and no.... Try being bursting for the loo.... with a soft close toilet seat that takes about 10 seconds to go down

Long nosed funnel?

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By *ourbonKissMan
over a year ago

a land up north..... of leicester

"Wash your hands before preparing food!

Lol, are all guests at chez Julie required to cook then?

Yes it is a requirement that all guests serve up something mighty tasty for me to eat

Is this before, during or after playtime?

This is as soon as I open the front door to you

In that case I'll pre-cook my famous shepherd pie then.

Bet it isn't as good as mine

Well that sounds like a challenge

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When cooking there is no need to use every implement in the kitchen

hubby does this, drives me bonkers

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can't think of any as I don't invite people round to mine.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Rules are simple in my house.

1) It is MY house, whatever I say goes.

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