FabSwingers.com forum: Jokes

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Crawled back into bed feeling ill and sorry for myself. Any funny or dirty jokes to give me a giggle?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A koala bear walks into a brothel picks out the best looking girl and heads upstairs with her.

While up there he eats her out like a madman doing things she's never even heard of.

After about an hour he gets up heads out the door.

The girl stops him and demands payment.

The bear doesn't understand. She has him look up prostitute in the dictionary, a person who trades sex for money. Still a little confused he asks what does it say about me.

Koala bear, an Australian native animal that eats bushes and leaves.

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By *heVonMatterhornsCouple
over a year ago

Lincoln

What's the difference between jelly and jam?

You can't jelly a dick down your throat

LvM

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can't believe that you've been visiting prostitutes for sex, my wife screamed at me. I'm really disappointed.

You can hardly blame me, I answered. It's not like I was getting any from you.

Well, that's your own fault, she replied. You never told me you were willing to pay for it.

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By *est Mims LookingCouple
over a year ago

Crofton

How does a woman scare a gynecologist?

By becoming a ventriloquist.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't know why this got removed the first time. I'll try again. When is it OK to have sex with your cousin?

[Twice removed]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just after my wife had given birth, I asked the doctor, "How soon do you think we'll be able to have sex?"

He winked at me and said, "I'm off duty in ten minutes - meet me in the car park."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You can't spell woman without man because man cums in woman.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What is E.T short for?

Because he has little legs.

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By *ilverjagMan
over a year ago

swansea

What's the difference between a cockerel and a prostitute.

A cockerel goes around shouting cock a doodle do!

A prostitute goes around shouting, any cock'll do!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What’s the difference between a pickpocket and a peeping Tom?

One snatches your watch the other watches your snatch …

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Crawled back into bed feeling ill and sorry for myself. Any funny or dirty jokes to give me a giggle?

What do you call a man with a car on his head?

Jack

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks everyone, I am reading them!

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By *2000ManMan
over a year ago

Worthing

What did Captain Kirk say when he found all the Enterprise toilets were broken?

Beam me up potty!

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By *aughty Couple ABCCouple
over a year ago

West Bromwich

Why was the dwarf laughing while he was walking?

The grass was tickling his balls.

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By *mily36CWoman
over a year ago

Bedford (or anywhere beginning with B..!?)

Why do ducks have feathers??

...to cover their butt quacks

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By *good-being-badMan
over a year ago

mis-types and auto corrects leads cock leeds

[Removed by poster at 21/10/21 20:04:15]

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By *good-being-badMan
over a year ago

mis-types and auto corrects leads cock leeds

My girlfriend says shes splitting up with me because of my obsession with the monkees..

At first I didn't believe her..and then I saw her face.

My wife says to pack my things and to get out she says I'm obsessed with only fools and horses..

I'll get the suitcase from the van.

I went to the Drs.. "what seems to be the problem?" Asks the Dr..

"I can't stop singing delilah or the green green grass of home" i replied..

"Hmmmm" said the Dr.."you've got Tom Jones syndrome!!".….."never heard of it "is it rare?"..I asked..

"Its not unusual"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Speaking of doctors, I went to see mine earlier because of a lump on my bum hole.

I was gutted when he said I had piles, I thought it was just the one

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By *mily36CWoman
over a year ago

Bedford (or anywhere beginning with B..!?)

A man walks into a doctor’s office.

He has a cucumber up his nose, a carrot in his left ear, and a banana in his right ear.

“What’s the matter with me?” he asks the doctor.

The doctor takes one look at him and replies, “You’re not eating properly.”

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why was 4 afraid to ask 5 out on a date? Because 4 was 2²

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Went to the docs to talk about premature ejaculation.

Showed her my cock and said, “I’m a bit premature”

She said, “you certainly are, I’m the receptionist”

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By *mily36CWoman
over a year ago

Bedford (or anywhere beginning with B..!?)

A man goes to his doctor with a shocking cold, continually coughing and spluttering.

His doctor accidentally prescribes him a laxative instead of the cough medicine he needs.

Three days later the man returns for a check-up and the doctor asks, “Well? Are you still coughing?”

The man replies, “No, I’m afraid to.”

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Went to the docs to talk about premature ejaculation.

Showed her my cock and said, “I’m a bit premature”

She said, “you certainly are, I’m the receptionist”"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I role played doctor and patient once for 3 hours. I was the patient so to keep it realistic I sat in the waiting room for 2 hours 59 mins

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By *ilfCrumpet9Man
over a year ago

Wirral

What's the difference between a working girl and a coffin?

You cum in one and go in the other

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If your wife/gf has a large vagina it’s important not to mention it, believe me I know I once put my foot in it.

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By *mily36CWoman
over a year ago

Bedford (or anywhere beginning with B..!?)

An old lady goes to the doctor. She mentions that no matter what when she farts, they are always silent and don’t smell. To illustrate her point, she lets one go.

Old lady: “See, Doctor, it was silent, and I don’t smell anything.”

Doctor: “I see, I am going to give you a prescription, then I want you to come back in a week and see how you are progressing.”

One week later, the old lady comes back.

Old lady: “I don’t know what you gave me, doc, but now my farts smell horrible!”

Doctor: “Great! Now that we fixed your sinuses, we can work on your hearing.”

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What's the difference between an old bus stop and a large breasted crab?

One's a crusty bus station and the other's a busty crustacean

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When you’re wanking off two bus drivers and it’s taking ages, then all of a sudden…

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