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"I think a lot of people secretly sign up to Fab "You can only try to fix it for so many years before something has to give. | |||
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"I think a lot of people secretly sign up to Fab
You can only try to fix it for so many years before something has to give."I agree, Fab is not the solution | |||
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 that would lead to me breaking up with them eventually | |||
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"I have a very low drive now (all hormone related) but T’s is quite high. He is very understanding, has the patience of a saint & some early nights to relieve the tension. J x" Is your drive low even with a high T level? x | |||
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"I have a very low drive now (all hormone related) but T’s is quite high. He is very understanding, has the patience of a saint & some early nights to relieve the tension. J x Is your drive low even with a high T level? x " It’s virtually disappeared. I am going to speak to GP about it. I was on Prostap injections for 3 years to stop my cycle before a total hysterectomy (3 months after we got married). It’s frustrating as he’s younger, fit & a damn good fucker!!! | |||
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"I think a lot of people secretly sign up to Fab "This /\ After trying to work around it for a long time, I eventually took matters into my own hands as it were. | |||
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"Have an ENM relationship and communicate openly and honestly about things. Do things that are intimate that aren't based around sex, hand holding, snuggles, having a shower together. Respect that sometimes people have a dip in their sex drive and that's normal and natural. (This is all my opinion, literally what I would do, not what anyone should do) " I agree, Meli. I don't know why cheating seems a default response rather than at least exploring non-monogamy. | |||
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"I believe there are two problems, a mismatch in sex drives and a mismatch in intimacy needs. If you still have intimacy between you both then it's a lot easier to deal with missing sex. The partner with the lower drive will still want to pleasure the other without the need to recieve, or at least enjoy helping them help themselves. The bigger problem is so many people deal with a lack of sex drive boycotting off intimacy, probably because they don't want to lead their partner on. Then the partner with the higher drive had the double whammy of not getting the sex they would like (which isn't the end of the world) but far worse, feeling rejected, insecure, unwanted, unattractive and lonely. I believe that these feelings are often the biggest drivers, even if subconsciously in people who cheat. To answer your question OP, I think the first step is to look at what is missing besides the sex because if that is all it is then you should be able to help each other. Mr" Yeah I agree, I ended up cheating because I felt totally rejected and unwanted and I needed the validation feeling else where… and also it was a way for me to detach from the person to then being able to take the hit of breaking up afterwards. I know I know, awful person x | |||
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"I believe there are two problems, a mismatch in sex drives and a mismatch in intimacy needs. If you still have intimacy between you both then it's a lot easier to deal with missing sex. The partner with the lower drive will still want to pleasure the other without the need to recieve, or at least enjoy helping them help themselves. The bigger problem is so many people deal with a lack of sex drive boycotting off intimacy, probably because they don't want to lead their partner on. Then the partner with the higher drive had the double whammy of not getting the sex they would like (which isn't the end of the world) but far worse, feeling rejected, insecure, unwanted, unattractive and lonely. I believe that these feelings are often the biggest drivers, even if subconsciously in people who cheat. To answer your question OP, I think the first step is to look at what is missing besides the sex because if that is all it is then you should be able to help each other. Mr Yeah I agree, I ended up cheating because I felt totally rejected and unwanted and I needed the validation feeling else where… and also it was a way for me to detach from the person to then being able to take the hit of breaking up afterwards. I know I know, awful person x "who would not give u attention? Guy didn't deserve u should b all over u | |||
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"I believe there are two problems, a mismatch in sex drives and a mismatch in intimacy needs. If you still have intimacy between you both then it's a lot easier to deal with missing sex. The partner with the lower drive will still want to pleasure the other without the need to recieve, or at least enjoy helping them help themselves. The bigger problem is so many people deal with a lack of sex drive boycotting off intimacy, probably because they don't want to lead their partner on. Then the partner with the higher drive had the double whammy of not getting the sex they would like (which isn't the end of the world) but far worse, feeling rejected, insecure, unwanted, unattractive and lonely. I believe that these feelings are often the biggest drivers, even if subconsciously in people who cheat. To answer your question OP, I think the first step is to look at what is missing besides the sex because if that is all it is then you should be able to help each other. Mr Yeah I agree, I ended up cheating because I felt totally rejected and unwanted and I needed the validation feeling else where… and also it was a way for me to detach from the person to then being able to take the hit of breaking up afterwards. I know I know, awful person x who would not give u attention? Guy didn't deserve u should b all over u"EXACTLY! Thank you!! Next 
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"I believe there are two problems, a mismatch in sex drives and a mismatch in intimacy needs. If you still have intimacy between you both then it's a lot easier to deal with missing sex. The partner with the lower drive will still want to pleasure the other without the need to recieve, or at least enjoy helping them help themselves. The bigger problem is so many people deal with a lack of sex drive boycotting off intimacy, probably because they don't want to lead their partner on. Then the partner with the higher drive had the double whammy of not getting the sex they would like (which isn't the end of the world) but far worse, feeling rejected, insecure, unwanted, unattractive and lonely. I believe that these feelings are often the biggest drivers, even if subconsciously in people who cheat. To answer your question OP, I think the first step is to look at what is missing besides the sex because if that is all it is then you should be able to help each other. Mr Yeah I agree, I ended up cheating because I felt totally rejected and unwanted and I needed the validation feeling else where… and also it was a way for me to detach from the person to then being able to take the hit of breaking up afterwards. I know I know, awful person x "I asked for an open relationship which he couldn't handle despite trying. I ended it after that but for multiple reasons not just the sex. But before I asked for the open relationship I did say to him that I could see why people strayed. As much as I don't agree with cheating I can see why people go that way. I felt rejected and u attractive etc and it totally stripped me of my confidence. If it wasn't for a high sex drive I'd have not bothered at all. | |||
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"I believe there are two problems, a mismatch in sex drives and a mismatch in intimacy needs. If you still have intimacy between you both then it's a lot easier to deal with missing sex. The partner with the lower drive will still want to pleasure the other without the need to recieve, or at least enjoy helping them help themselves. The bigger problem is so many people deal with a lack of sex drive boycotting off intimacy, probably because they don't want to lead their partner on. Then the partner with the higher drive had the double whammy of not getting the sex they would like (which isn't the end of the world) but far worse, feeling rejected, insecure, unwanted, unattractive and lonely. I believe that these feelings are often the biggest drivers, even if subconsciously in people who cheat. To answer your question OP, I think the first step is to look at what is missing besides the sex because if that is all it is then you should be able to help each other. Mr Yeah I agree, I ended up cheating because I felt totally rejected and unwanted and I needed the validation feeling else where… and also it was a way for me to detach from the person to then being able to take the hit of breaking up afterwards. I know I know, awful person x
I asked for an open relationship which he couldn't handle despite trying. I ended it after that but for multiple reasons not just the sex. But before I asked for the open relationship I did say to him that I could see why people strayed. As much as I don't agree with cheating I can see why people go that way. I felt rejected and u attractive etc and it totally stripped me of my confidence. If it wasn't for a high sex drive I'd have not bothered at all. "Yeah I totally get it! I think after all you just weren’t compatible people as you would need someone who can match your drive or be close to it. And I think it was fair that you asked for an open relationship x Nothing worse than feeling unattractive to somebody and feel like you are begging for it… like ewww | |||
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"I believe there are two problems, a mismatch in sex drives and a mismatch in intimacy needs. If you still have intimacy between you both then it's a lot easier to deal with missing sex. The partner with the lower drive will still want to pleasure the other without the need to recieve, or at least enjoy helping them help themselves. The bigger problem is so many people deal with a lack of sex drive boycotting off intimacy, probably because they don't want to lead their partner on. Then the partner with the higher drive had the double whammy of not getting the sex they would like (which isn't the end of the world) but far worse, feeling rejected, insecure, unwanted, unattractive and lonely. I believe that these feelings are often the biggest drivers, even if subconsciously in people who cheat. To answer your question OP, I think the first step is to look at what is missing besides the sex because if that is all it is then you should be able to help each other. Mr" That is so so true. My current relationship has shown me even more how much was missing from the last one. One big difference is the intimacy, I've realised exactly how much my ex didn't didn't do even the really simple things. | |||
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"I believe there are two problems, a mismatch in sex drives and a mismatch in intimacy needs. If you still have intimacy between you both then it's a lot easier to deal with missing sex. The partner with the lower drive will still want to pleasure the other without the need to recieve, or at least enjoy helping them help themselves. The bigger problem is so many people deal with a lack of sex drive boycotting off intimacy, probably because they don't want to lead their partner on. Then the partner with the higher drive had the double whammy of not getting the sex they would like (which isn't the end of the world) but far worse, feeling rejected, insecure, unwanted, unattractive and lonely. I believe that these feelings are often the biggest drivers, even if subconsciously in people who cheat. To answer your question OP, I think the first step is to look at what is missing besides the sex because if that is all it is then you should be able to help each other. Mr Yeah I agree, I ended up cheating because I felt totally rejected and unwanted and I needed the validation feeling else where… and also it was a way for me to detach from the person to then being able to take the hit of breaking up afterwards. I know I know, awful person x who would not give u attention? Guy didn't deserve u should b all over u
EXACTLY! Thank you!!
Next
"can I b nxt lol pretty please  | |||
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"My vibrator definitely helps but ultimately it’s one of the driving forces for being on here. It goes beyond just finding other ways for a partner to get you off when they aren’t feeling horny. Constant communication I think is key. " see I find playing with myself just doesn't help at all. If anything it makes my needs more. X | |||
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"I believe there are two problems, a mismatch in sex drives and a mismatch in intimacy needs. If you still have intimacy between you both then it's a lot easier to deal with missing sex. The partner with the lower drive will still want to pleasure the other without the need to recieve, or at least enjoy helping them help themselves. The bigger problem is so many people deal with a lack of sex drive boycotting off intimacy, probably because they don't want to lead their partner on. Then the partner with the higher drive had the double whammy of not getting the sex they would like (which isn't the end of the world) but far worse, feeling rejected, insecure, unwanted, unattractive and lonely. I believe that these feelings are often the biggest drivers, even if subconsciously in people who cheat. To answer your question OP, I think the first step is to look at what is missing besides the sex because if that is all it is then you should be able to help each other. Mr That is so so true. My current relationship has shown me even more how much was missing from the last one. One big difference is the intimacy, I've realised exactly how much my ex didn't didn't do even the really simple things. " Yep. So often it is the tiny things. At the end of my marriage I would pretend to be asleep when I knew she wanted sex. After days of every touch being rejected I'd lay there with tears rolling down my face when I was suddenly expected to be horny because she happened to be. Mr | |||
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"How do you work round it? One has a high sex drive the other doesn't. In this situation would it be acceptable as the higher drive to ask the other for a compromise of sorts. For example asking for them to give oral or a hand in between times of sex to keep you from climbing the walls? Or should you respect their lower drive and not ask at all? Some would cheat to get extra, others would just wank. What else would or could you do? " An open discussion, truthful, honest and no punches pulled. You can be as patient as you want, but it won't be easy. I do believe some sort of compromise can be reached, but if the other person with the low sex drive isn't into performing the sex act, then it won't feel right or passionate at all. Its a tricky situation all round. | |||
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"I believe there are two problems, a mismatch in sex drives and a mismatch in intimacy needs. If you still have intimacy between you both then it's a lot easier to deal with missing sex. The partner with the lower drive will still want to pleasure the other without the need to recieve, or at least enjoy helping them help themselves. The bigger problem is so many people deal with a lack of sex drive boycotting off intimacy, probably because they don't want to lead their partner on. Then the partner with the higher drive had the double whammy of not getting the sex they would like (which isn't the end of the world) but far worse, feeling rejected, insecure, unwanted, unattractive and lonely. I believe that these feelings are often the biggest drivers, even if subconsciously in people who cheat. To answer your question OP, I think the first step is to look at what is missing besides the sex because if that is all it is then you should be able to help each other. Mr That is so so true. My current relationship has shown me even more how much was missing from the last one. One big difference is the intimacy, I've realised exactly how much my ex didn't didn't do even the really simple things. Yep. So often it is the tiny things. At the end of my marriage I would pretend to be asleep when I knew she wanted sex. After days of every touch being rejected I'd lay there with tears rolling down my face when I was suddenly expected to be horny because she happened to be. Mr" That's so sad to read | |||
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"Sit down talk fully open realship If not then a wank in the bathroom will just have to do as a realship is more than just sex" love a wank in the bathroom lol | |||
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"I have a high sex drive but fortunately I have a very sexy lady to help drain me of every last drop at every opportunity....but when she's not working her magic I have a willing hand "Drain you are you a blocked sink??? | |||
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"I believe there are two problems, a mismatch in sex drives and a mismatch in intimacy needs. If you still have intimacy between you both then it's a lot easier to deal with missing sex. The partner with the lower drive will still want to pleasure the other without the need to recieve, or at least enjoy helping them help themselves. The bigger problem is so many people deal with a lack of sex drive boycotting off intimacy, probably because they don't want to lead their partner on. Then the partner with the higher drive had the double whammy of not getting the sex they would like (which isn't the end of the world) but far worse, feeling rejected, insecure, unwanted, unattractive and lonely. I believe that these feelings are often the biggest drivers, even if subconsciously in people who cheat. To answer your question OP, I think the first step is to look at what is missing besides the sex because if that is all it is then you should be able to help each other. Mr That is so so true. My current relationship has shown me even more how much was missing from the last one. One big difference is the intimacy, I've realised exactly how much my ex didn't didn't do even the really simple things. Yep. So often it is the tiny things. At the end of my marriage I would pretend to be asleep when I knew she wanted sex. After days of every touch being rejected I'd lay there with tears rolling down my face when I was suddenly expected to be horny because she happened to be. Mr" I totally get that, I felt the same. Sometimes I'd cry, other times I'd be angry at everything being on his terms. So many things in the relationship were, I grew to resent him to a level I wouldn't have said was possible. It was all about him all the time. I totally get what you're saying. It stripped my confidence. I was right to end it though. I'm sorry you went through that it's sad to read. | |||
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"I believe there are two problems, a mismatch in sex drives and a mismatch in intimacy needs. If you still have intimacy between you both then it's a lot easier to deal with missing sex. The partner with the lower drive will still want to pleasure the other without the need to recieve, or at least enjoy helping them help themselves. The bigger problem is so many people deal with a lack of sex drive boycotting off intimacy, probably because they don't want to lead their partner on. Then the partner with the higher drive had the double whammy of not getting the sex they would like (which isn't the end of the world) but far worse, feeling rejected, insecure, unwanted, unattractive and lonely. I believe that these feelings are often the biggest drivers, even if subconsciously in people who cheat. To answer your question OP, I think the first step is to look at what is missing besides the sex because if that is all it is then you should be able to help each other. Mr Yeah I agree, I ended up cheating because I felt totally rejected and unwanted and I needed the validation feeling else where… and also it was a way for me to detach from the person to then being able to take the hit of breaking up afterwards. I know I know, awful person x
who would not give u attention? Guy didn't deserve u should b all over u"Please help me to understand this; he should be all over her simply because she has a great body and he is a man......that's all it takes. To me, she should worry if he's all over her for that reason only. | |||
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"Have an ENM relationship and communicate openly and honestly about things. Do things that are intimate that aren't based around sex, hand holding, snuggles, having a shower together. Respect that sometimes people have a dip in their sex drive and that's normal and natural. (This is all my opinion, literally what I would do, not what anyone should do) " Meli's opinion and others who have echoed it along the same lines is the ideal solution but it takes both parties to participate. Most importantly, both parties have to accept that it isn't always going to be smooth running and that's where the true test of honesty, openness, communication and intimacy are tested. It's important to know when to give and take, when to apply the brakes for a while until the intimacy has been re-established. Having a low sex drive, I value emotional intimacy far more than sexual gratification. It's only cheating when she no longer gives me the emotional intimacy whilst she seeks sexual fulfilment elsewhere. | |||
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