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What would you do?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I have just had to report my ex for harassment; changed my mobile number as the threats were so bad.

My question is: this guy is a member of a club in the North of England, would you ring them and tell them about what had gone on?

Ruby xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't know Ruby it could be like pouring fuel on a fire and make him ten times worse !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Don't know Ruby it could be like pouring fuel on a fire and make him ten times worse !"

And by telling there's a chance you'll not be believed.

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By *issBehavingxxWoman
over a year ago

Glasgow

I think that's a difficult one.

Assuming the harrassment has been towards you directly (you mention changing mobile), I'm not sure what a club could do about incidents that happened outwith the club?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

That's what I thought. Its been reported to the police (and yes I admitted to being on here and going to clubs, because I've got nothing to hide)

If I ring the club are they going to think I'm a vindictive ex or will they believe me!? Its something I can't stop thinking about because I don't want it to happen to anyone else.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd ring and name and shame the twat but I'm a bitch haha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Keep a diary of all the harassment...time and dates.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I'd ring and name and shame the twat but I'm a bitch haha "

Its not that I want to name & shame him. I've made a statement to the police about him so that's how I'm dealing with that; its just concerning me that it could happen to other women. Does that make any sense?

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By *mma peelWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

You've done the best thing by reporting him to the police.

Other women are adults and can make their minds up about him.

If an ex of his came to you when you'd first met him and said he was bad, would you have believed them?

Just keep out of his way and keep you and yours safe and put it all down to experience....look after yourself xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'd ring and name and shame the twat but I'm a bitch haha

Its not that I want to name & shame him. I've made a statement to the police about him so that's how I'm dealing with that; its just concerning me that it could happen to other women. Does that make any sense?

"

Personally - id advise them - not expecting him to be banned or have membership cancelled - but any self-respecting club runner should be grateful to recieve info that could protect other members.

Whether they take any action is their choice - but if they dont know - they can't make an I formed decision.

As its gone far enough to get the police involved they shouldn't react in any negative way towards you - and should you happen to visit at the same time it should ease your worries having them aware!

Good luck!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I'd ring and name and shame the twat but I'm a bitch haha

Its not that I want to name & shame him. I've made a statement to the police about him so that's how I'm dealing with that; its just concerning me that it could happen to other women. Does that make any sense?

Personally - id advise them - not expecting him to be banned or have membership cancelled - but any self-respecting club runner should be grateful to recieve info that could protect other members.

Whether they take any action is their choice - but if they dont know - they can't make an I formed decision.

As its gone far enough to get the police involved they shouldn't react in any negative way towards you - and should you happen to visit at the same time it should ease your worries having them aware!

Good luck! "

Thank you - Luckily I don't go to the club he goes to; I have been once but its out of the area for me and I like the club I go to! I'll be brave and give them a ring and let them know about his behaviour.

Ta xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'd ring and name and shame the twat but I'm a bitch haha

Its not that I want to name & shame him. I've made a statement to the police about him so that's how I'm dealing with that; its just concerning me that it could happen to other women. Does that make any sense?

Personally - id advise them - not expecting him to be banned or have membership cancelled - but any self-respecting club runner should be grateful to recieve info that could protect other members.

Whether they take any action is their choice - but if they dont know - they can't make an I formed decision.

As its gone far enough to get the police involved they shouldn't react in any negative way towards you - and should you happen to visit at the same time it should ease your worries having them aware!

Good luck!

Thank you - Luckily I don't go to the club he goes to; I have been once but its out of the area for me and I like the club I go to! I'll be brave and give them a ring and let them know about his behaviour.

Ta xxx"

Since most clubs don't CRB check members - don't feel guilty!

If something happened that they could have avoided I'm sure they'd much rather have known in advance!

A

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By *atisfy janeWoman
over a year ago

Torquay

Why would you do that?.....is there a direct connection between his problems with you and the running of the club?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd ring and name and shame the twat but I'm a bitch haha

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By *mma peelWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

And I think you're opening a big can of worms if u speak to the club. Even if they banned him or spoke to him quietly, what's to stop him going elsewhere??

We're adults, most of us can read the warning signs...

Let the police deal with it, as a previous post said, record any further contact.

Forget it and move on....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I dont see what being vindictive is going to achieve, after all thats what its amounts too by 'notifying' the club of whats happend in a domestic situation.

How many people (male and female) who go to clubs/meet people off here have some sort of criminal record?

Obviously you are dealing with the situation correctly by going to the police, but anything else you do will seem vindictive. Just my thoughts.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As previously mentioned, if by chance he is banned, or becomes aware of the situation and so himself stops visiting that club, what's to stop him going to another, maybe even the club you visit.

On top of that, what's to stop him retaliating by passing on information about you (fact or fiction) to the club you visit? or to anyone you would rather keep this part of your life from.

I don't see what good it would serve to tell tale on him to a club he visits, keep the police involved, maybe discuss with them his visits and if they see it worthy of mentioning they may well do.

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Will you be getting in touch with every human being that he has any contact with for the rest of his life and telling them that has has been harrassing you?

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

3 sides to most story so hopefully the club willl here all 3 and make the appropriate and FAIR decision

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