FabSwingers.com forum: Stood Up!

By *entleman Jay OP Man
over a year ago

Wakefield

I’ve a Fab friend who was stood up yesterday by a member on here. Sat in Costa Coffee after spending time getting ready and the drive over.

Why do people do this?

I can’t think of anything ruder.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That’s really rubbish

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By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester

Eurghhhh that’s just cruel. No need at all. Hope she’s ok x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I try to mitigate disappointment by having text messages an hour or so before meeting.

I’d even text to say, I’m leaving my flat see you shortly.

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

That's just horrible x

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By *lenderfoxMan
over a year ago

Leeds

"I’ve a Fab friend who was stood up yesterday by a member on here. Sat in Costa Coffee after spending time getting ready and the drive over.

Why do people do this?

I can’t think of anything ruder.

Are you referring to a fellow forumite or just someone on fab?

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

That's a really rotten thing to do! And no excuse whatsoever! X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That’s rather disappointing OP. It happens far more than it should

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That is low. Total time waster

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By *r Discreet 75Man
over a year ago

LIVERPOOL

I can understand being nervous and stuff but a text or preferably a call to say so would have been nice

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By *odgerMooreMan
over a year ago

Nowhere

Its happened to me too - a couple of times - once completely ghosted and never seen again - the other - when i was at the meeting place - 10 mins standing round - sorry I lost my nerve. By text. There should be a way of ing these people out - no one has enough spare time to waste being messed about. I just don’t understand people that do it - hope it doesn’t put your friend off trying again.

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By *inky Biscuit DunkerMan
over a year ago

Gloucestershire

That's the worst.

Sometimes I wish you could name & shame people.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s getting quite a regular occurrence, it must be some way of getting there kicks by arranging to meet and then just wasting your time

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There is no excuse for this kind of behaviour. It’s totally unacceptable and rude.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not nice at all, seems some peeps simply have no sense of integrity or common courtesy.

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By *jorkishMan
over a year ago

Seaforth

Happens a lot irrespective of what site you are on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It sucks, waist of time, effort and leaves you feeling like utter rubbish... I've been stood up a few times and I always end up wishing there was like a negative review option where you could out people who where time waisters and no shows.... I know it wouldent work because of all the people who would be doing it out of spite or pettynes or leaving one everytime they didn't get a message back from somone but it would make people think twice about setting up meets just to lest the person down

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I once travelled to a house knocked on door, rang bell but no answer. Definitely someone in but no answer. Just gotta shrug it off and move on. Damn I smelled good as well

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By *ed VoluptaWoman
over a year ago

Wirral.

That's just shit, OP.

Hope she's ok & realises he was just a dick. X

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By *luebell888Woman
over a year ago

Glasgowish

I have been stood up twice and one was by my very first fab meet. Must have had at least 15 social meets cancelled at short notice too. Puts me off arranging meets with new people so I tend nowadays just to stick to people I know and trust.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I once travelled to a house knocked on door, rang bell but no answer. Definitely someone in but no answer. Just gotta shrug it off and move on. Damn I smelled good as well

Was it a first meet? See, that would have alarm bells ringing for me, as it just shows bad judgement on her part.

Sorry it happened to you though x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"That's just shit, OP.

Hope she's ok & realises he was just a dick. X"

I see no indication that it was a woman stood up by a man in this thread.

But you’re right in any case: it’s shit.

Sadly happened to too many of us.

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By *ed VoluptaWoman
over a year ago

Wirral.

"That's just shit, OP.

Hope she's ok & realises he was just a dick. X

I see no indication that it was a woman stood up by a man in this thread.

But you’re right in any case: it’s shit.

Sadly happened to too many of us."

I just assumed it was a she/he scenario. Apologies for my assumption x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’ve a Fab friend who was stood up yesterday by a member on here. Sat in Costa Coffee after spending time getting ready and the drive over.

Why do people do this?

I can’t think of anything ruder.

Its a rotten thing to do to someone

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By *ed VoluptaWoman
over a year ago

Wirral.

"I once travelled to a house knocked on door, rang bell but no answer. Definitely someone in but no answer. Just gotta shrug it off and move on. Damn I smelled good as well

Was it a first meet? See, that would have alarm bells ringing for me, as it just shows bad judgement on her part.

Sorry it happened to you though x"

I think this is a bit harsh.

You can chat, swap numbers & face time & every other vetting strategy you want, but if someone stands you up it's on THEM.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've never been stud up, well I need a meet first lol but I was talking to someone on here for a couple of weeks, felt like we were getting on well. We decided to arrange a social to see if we got on, started to arrange tines, dates but again nothing set in stone no pressure then the person just ghosted me, said person stopped talking to me so after asking if everything was OK and with no reply for a couple of days said person blocked me. I was a bit gutted but never mind so I can't imagine what it felt like to be stood up on the actual meet, sorry this happened to them op.

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By *xiled BikerMan
over a year ago

Beverley

I have been stood up 3 times in the few years been on fab, I sometimes wondered if they turned up and did not like what they saw and left, never ever had apology, usually get blocked on here or on phone.

Very disheartening especially when you have all the nerves and excitement of a new meet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm not interested in playing the blame game, it happened and I moved on. No indication given beforehand that it would happen. It wasn't my first rodeo xx

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By *odgerMooreMan
over a year ago

Nowhere

"It sucks, waist of time, effort and leaves you feeling like utter rubbish... I've been stood up a few times and I always end up wishing there was like a negative review option where you could out people who where time waisters and no shows.... I know it wouldent work because of all the people who would be doing it out of spite or pettynes or leaving one everytime they didn't get a message back from somone but it would make people think twice about setting up meets just to lest the person down "

Who in their right mind would stand you up?? Gobsmacked!!! Xx

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By *riar BelisseWoman
over a year ago

Delightful Bliss

Always plan something else as a back up activity, so if you do get stood up you can enjoy that cuppa and then go shopping

No second chances though

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By *entleman Jay OP Man
over a year ago

Wakefield

"I’ve a Fab friend who was stood up yesterday by a member on here. Sat in Costa Coffee after spending time getting ready and the drive over.

Why do people do this?

I can’t think of anything ruder.

Are you referring to a fellow forumite or just someone on fab?"

She does frequent the forums.

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By *livia_KWoman
over a year ago

South London

It sucks massively when that happens. Only happened to me once. The social meet was confirmed a couple of hours before. I get dolled up and head to the pub to meet. He just didn't turn up! And messages went unanswered. I could see he had been online so knew nothing had happened to him. Just so rude. So I just had a drink and went home.

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By *entleman Jay OP Man
over a year ago

Wakefield

It’s piss poor. It happened to me once in the very early days of fab. Sorted the arrangements on the Thursday. Meet was for Saturday afternoon. When I messaged after the no show, the excuse I got was “I forgot what day it was”.

With my Fab hindsight, I now suspect it was a bloke masquerading as a woman.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Honestly I hate this. I was ghosted today. It’s just cruel. X

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By *ockosaurusMan
over a year ago

Warwick

It's crap that people do that.

There is an option to report people as no shows, but I doubt anything will happen from it.

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

"I try to mitigate disappointment by having text messages an hour or so before meeting.

I’d even text to say, I’m leaving my flat see you shortly. "

Yes I won't meet if I haven't heard from the person that day as I consider nothing is set until I do.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have had it happen a few times

Slightly better in that was waiting at home but still annoying esp if put off other things

Usual rule now is if no contact within 30 mins of expected meet time assume not happening

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By *entleman Jay OP Man
over a year ago

Wakefield

My Fab motto is “I will start getting exited when the person is stood in front of me”

Sadly that has taken the anticipation and fun out of meeting, but I find it necessary to temper disappointment.

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

I totally give up trying to understand the reasons people do things like that here.

I got stood up for the first time ever about 2 weeks ago , she was coming here for the night and just never showed up. I had met her twice previously and she was super keen. Never showed up , didn't text or respond to messages that night and then next day no apology but asked if I was still speaking to her amd if so could we meet . WTF.

The way I look at it, if they are flaky or problematic , it’s better they exit my life before getting sex than afterwards

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

I would console myself with a hot chocolate and bun of some kind-or whatever they sell.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Happens all the time sadly

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By *inger_SnapWoman
over a year ago

Hampshire/Dorset

That's the worst, to actually have got somewhere and they've not turned up, I hope she's deleted and blocked. No second chances!!

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By *entleman Jay OP Man
over a year ago

Wakefield

"I totally give up trying to understand the reasons people do things like that here.

The way I look at it, if they are flaky or problematic , it’s better they exit my life before getting sex than afterwards

That’s a horror story. I hope you blocked her.

I once got my own back by completely ignoring someone that messed me about. I didn’t even open her messages afterwards. I left them unread. It wound her up massively.

Revenge is a dish best served cold.

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By *entleman Jay OP Man
over a year ago

Wakefield

"I would console myself with a hot chocolate and bun of some kind-or whatever they sell."

My friend went to the local Indian restaurant. Lol.

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