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Red flags

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Do you look for red flags?

Are you aware of the signs, and which ones trigger you more?

Do you have red flags yourself, and do you do any work around them?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

apparently i like getting far too close trying to discover if it's really a red flag, or if it is in fact just a shade of pink Px

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

I think there are common to all red flags. But also person specific ones.

But I also think there is so much focus on red flags we sometimes forget to see the green ones. Or what we see as red flags are really amber flags, which need addressing and discussing before we decide on if they are really red.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If this was meant for females reaction then apologies. Personally I look at things positively if something happens that’s not for me then it gets nipped in the bud. Looking for red flags will subconsciously see them

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"apparently i like getting far too close trying to discover if it's really a red flag, or if it is in fact just a shade of pink Px "

Are you aware of them, as you do that?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd say I'm attuned to things that simply don't sit well with me

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I think there are common to all red flags. But also person specific ones.

But I also think there is so much focus on red flags we sometimes forget to see the green ones. Or what we see as red flags are really amber flags, which need addressing and discussing before we decide on if they are really red. "

I think you’re right, and I know I’m guilty of being overly conscious of the possibility of a red flag.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"If this was meant for females reaction then apologies. Personally I look at things positively if something happens that’s not for me then it gets nipped in the bud. Looking for red flags will subconsciously see them "

All welcome

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By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester

God I’m awful with this. Yes I look out for them, I don’t always want to acknowledge them. I need to learn to trust my gut sooner.

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By *hilloutMan
over a year ago

All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest

Perception of red flags and the ability to spot them I think is usually determined by bad experiences we've had in the past that we wish to avoid repeating in the future.

Some people are better at this than others.

I've been slow to recognise red flags in the past but have gotten better at it with experience.

It's important to stress that red flags differ from person person. What one might consider a red flag might be a non issue to another.

I think this makes it possible for everyone to present a red flag to someone, somewhere.

I consider myself a fairly balanced and rational person who has fortunately not had any prior emotional trauma. Some might consider that a red flag in itself

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If things are too much work and drama too early. Of course a longer relationship will have its challenges but if it starts out that way it will only get worse.

Also too much secrecy. I respect privacy, especially on here, but too many secrets is rarely a good sign.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And good to see the return of your thoughtful threads, OP.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Pictures of only the female when ment to be a couple?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Perception of red flags and the ability to spot them I think is usually determined by bad experiences we've had in the past that we wish to avoid repeating in the future.

Some people are better at this than others.

I've been slow to recognise red flags in the past but have gotten better at it with experience.

It's important to stress that red flags differ from person person. What one might consider a red flag might be a non issue to another.

I think this makes it possible for everyone to present a red flag to someone, somewhere.

I consider myself a fairly balanced and rational person who has fortunately not had any prior emotional trauma. Some might consider that a red flag in itself "

This is a well thought out post, and I agree with all of it to be honest.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"And good to see the return of your thoughtful threads, OP. "

Thanks , I was waiting for the inspiration, it took its bloody time

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Liverpool


"Perception of red flags and the ability to spot them I think is usually determined by bad experiences we've had in the past that we wish to avoid repeating in the future.

Some people are better at this than others.

I've been slow to recognise red flags in the past but have gotten better at it with experience.

It's important to stress that red flags differ from person person. What one might consider a red flag might be a non issue to another.

I think this makes it possible for everyone to present a red flag to someone, somewhere.

I consider myself a fairly balanced and rational person who has fortunately not had any prior emotional trauma. Some might consider that a red flag in itself "

As soon as I read the OP I was going to say generally what you just said. Not word for word but certainly the same vibe.

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By *anilla switchWoman
over a year ago

Hampshire

Love this post op.

Definitely yes, feel to my detriment sometimes. I prefer to stay single that way I’m not looking for any red flags. A FB I have meet through a club, has looked me up on Facebook… surnames haven’t been exchanged. Why would he do that? Isn’t it a bit strange?

My flag is flapping all over the flapping place!

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land


"I think there are common to all red flags. But also person specific ones.

But I also think there is so much focus on red flags we sometimes forget to see the green ones. Or what we see as red flags are really amber flags, which need addressing and discussing before we decide on if they are really red.

I think you’re right, and I know I’m guilty of being overly conscious of the possibility of a red flag. "

Same, but we all will show some kind of red flag occasionally. That doesn't make me a bad person just someone having a bad day. And I think not all red flags are equal either. In essence there is so many variables it's hard to define them.

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

I look at their previous Oscar nominations.

If they can share a pic or message that someone sent them 2 years ago.

If they are badmouthing another member in private but are forum besties with said person.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Perception of red flags and the ability to spot them I think is usually determined by bad experiences we've had in the past that we wish to avoid repeating in the future.

Some people are better at this than others.

I've been slow to recognise red flags in the past but have gotten better at it with experience.

It's important to stress that red flags differ from person person. What one might consider a red flag might be a non issue to another.

I think this makes it possible for everyone to present a red flag to someone, somewhere.

I consider myself a fairly balanced and rational person who has fortunately not had any prior emotional trauma. Some might consider that a red flag in itself

As soon as I read the OP I was going to say generally what you just said. Not word for word but certainly the same vibe. "

I tried to say this but was rubbish at it lol

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By *hilloutMan
over a year ago

All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest


"Perception of red flags and the ability to spot them I think is usually determined by bad experiences we've had in the past that we wish to avoid repeating in the future.

Some people are better at this than others.

I've been slow to recognise red flags in the past but have gotten better at it with experience.

It's important to stress that red flags differ from person person. What one might consider a red flag might be a non issue to another.

I think this makes it possible for everyone to present a red flag to someone, somewhere.

I consider myself a fairly balanced and rational person who has fortunately not had any prior emotional trauma. Some might consider that a red flag in itself

This is a well thought out post, and I agree with all of it to be honest. "

I have occasional moments of lucidity

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By *hroatQueen_CATV/TS
over a year ago

Carlisle

Don't look for red flags! But good to be weary until you know someone fully. But some people just make you feel comfortable and click and you don't connect with everyone! However that doesnt mean they are a bad person.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I think there are common to all red flags. But also person specific ones.

But I also think there is so much focus on red flags we sometimes forget to see the green ones. Or what we see as red flags are really amber flags, which need addressing and discussing before we decide on if they are really red.

I think you’re right, and I know I’m guilty of being overly conscious of the possibility of a red flag.

Same, but we all will show some kind of red flag occasionally. That doesn't make me a bad person just someone having a bad day. And I think not all red flags are equal either. In essence there is so many variables it's hard to define them. "

Yes, we all have them in varying degrees, and I suppose they show up differently depending on the dynamic too?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Don't look for red flags! But good to be weary until you know someone fully. But some people just make you feel comfortable and click and you don't connect with everyone! However that doesnt mean they are a bad person. "

I’m curious as to why you don’t look?

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land


"I think there are common to all red flags. But also person specific ones.

But I also think there is so much focus on red flags we sometimes forget to see the green ones. Or what we see as red flags are really amber flags, which need addressing and discussing before we decide on if they are really red.

I think you’re right, and I know I’m guilty of being overly conscious of the possibility of a red flag.

Same, but we all will show some kind of red flag occasionally. That doesn't make me a bad person just someone having a bad day. And I think not all red flags are equal either. In essence there is so many variables it's hard to define them.

Yes, we all have them in varying degrees, and I suppose they show up differently depending on the dynamic too? "

Definitely there are things M does for example some of the language he uses towards me. Totally would be a red flag from a stranger but acceptable from M.

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By *hroatQueen_CATV/TS
over a year ago

Carlisle


"Don't look for red flags! But good to be weary until you know someone fully. But some people just make you feel comfortable and click and you don't connect with everyone! However that doesnt mean they are a bad person.

I’m curious as to why you don’t look? "
I said be weary until you fully know someone? I'm not gonna actively look for red flags and this is from someone who has experienced abuse growing up with family and an ex. You can't tar everyone with the same brush! Can't lie i say i don't have a guard though to an extent.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All the time

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes I do look for red flags, I find the ones I find triggering pretty easy to spot at this point in my life, in my younger days I don't think I'd have recognised them for what they where... Or possibly I did but found them an exciting challange (that mindset didn't work out very well for me to be honest and I've learned to be a lot more cautious with time) anyone who's never done the freedom program and thinks they need some extra help understanding and recognising red flags should totally enrol to do it

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Don't look for red flags! But good to be weary until you know someone fully. But some people just make you feel comfortable and click and you don't connect with everyone! However that doesnt mean they are a bad person.

I’m curious as to why you don’t look? I said be weary until you fully know someone? I'm not gonna actively look for red flags and this is from someone who has experienced abuse growing up with family and an ex. You can't tar everyone with the same brush! Can't lie i say i don't have a guard though to an extent. "

It’s not a criticism , just a curious question. I hear what you’re saying.

I don’t think I tar people with the same brush, but equally, I’m very aware.

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By *eyond PurityCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

I take everyone as I find them and trust my gut. I'd say I'm pretty astute when it comes to reading people.

C

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By *odgerMooreMan
over a year ago

Carlisle

If i get to a hotel room and the walls floors & ceiling are covered in polythene - the lady is wearing a butchers apron an carrying a chainsaw and wearing a huge strap on - its a definite red flag - no anal ever!!!

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By *rixieMeWoman
over a year ago

Farfarfar away

I’m colour blind!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I take everyone as I find them and trust my gut. I'd say I'm pretty astute when it comes to reading people.

C"

I always say I’m not talented at anything apart from grasping people. Most of the time is gusto but that’s not the person that’s insecurity.

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By *hroatQueen_CATV/TS
over a year ago

Carlisle


"Don't look for red flags! But good to be weary until you know someone fully. But some people just make you feel comfortable and click and you don't connect with everyone! However that doesnt mean they are a bad person.

I’m curious as to why you don’t look? I said be weary until you fully know someone? I'm not gonna actively look for red flags and this is from someone who has experienced abuse growing up with family and an ex. You can't tar everyone with the same brush! Can't lie i say i don't have a guard though to an extent.

It’s not a criticism , just a curious question. I hear what you’re saying.

I don’t think I tar people with the same brush, but equally, I’m very aware. "
I meant in general! We can't tar everyone i meant.

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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

I don't necessarily look for red flags but I find sometimes when I chat to people how they act in public and in private are completely different that to me is a red flag. If someone just can't be themselves all the ye time they it's hard to know which persona if either is real. Plus if they contradict them selves all the time then it's time to stop chatting I find .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Red flags on a profile or in conversation?

Mine, in general, are pretty ambiguous, but I don't like people calling themselves 'trouble' or a 'brat' because I can't be arsed with that. I have three kids, I don't need to mind an adult who should know better.

Vagueness in answers and commenting on my verifications/who has verified me, too.

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South


"I'd say I'm attuned to things that simply don't sit well with me"

This for me too generally. Although always the one that slips through the net!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Red flags on a profile or in conversation?

Mine, in general, are pretty ambiguous, but I don't like people calling themselves 'trouble' or a 'brat' because I can't be arsed with that. I have three kids, I don't need to mind an adult who should know better.

Vagueness in answers and commenting on my verifications/who has verified me, too. "

General red flags, can be anywhere you like.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don't necessarily look for red flags but I find sometimes when I chat to people how they act in public and in private are completely different that to me is a red flag. If someone just can't be themselves all the ye time they it's hard to know which persona if either is real. Plus if they contradict them selves all the time then it's time to stop chatting I find ."

The contradiction on is good, and from a male perspective it isn't always a red flag per se, but their initial interaction was more in agreement with you than they would normally be, simply to get your attention/a reply. If you interact, it's difficult to hold true to values you don't believe in

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

.


"I think there are common to all red flags. But also person specific ones.

But I also think there is so much focus on red flags we sometimes forget to see the green ones. Or what we see as red flags are really amber flags, which need addressing and discussing before we decide on if they are really red.

I think you’re right, and I know I’m guilty of being overly conscious of the possibility of a red flag.

Same, but we all will show some kind of red flag occasionally. That doesn't make me a bad person just someone having a bad day. And I think not all red flags are equal either. In essence there is so many variables it's hard to define them. "

I'd agree with this - saves me typing it out! Every single person on the forum (minus Ash who is like a teddy bear) has displayed, at some point or other, "red" flags - we're all human and imperfectly perfect as cliched as that reads. We have off days, we read with our own confirmation bias, it's just a snapshot of a person at times (and this applies to outside Fab as well!).

I think I'm getting better at recognising red flags to me (they're really rather subjective) and walking away from a situation. That being said, I also know when someone isn't compatible with me, it doesn't mean that they're adorned with red flags. Just that they're not my sort of person. Not a bad one.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I'd say I'm attuned to things that simply don't sit well with me

This for me too generally. Although always the one that slips through the net! "

Same for me too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Perception of red flags and the ability to spot them I think is usually determined by bad experiences we've had in the past that we wish to avoid repeating in the future.

Some people are better at this than others.

I've been slow to recognise red flags in the past but have gotten better at it with experience.

It's important to stress that red flags differ from person person. What one might consider a red flag might be a non issue to another.

I think this makes it possible for everyone to present a red flag to someone, somewhere.

I consider myself a fairly balanced and rational person who has fortunately not had any prior emotional trauma. Some might consider that a red flag in itself "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Red flags to me are generally things like first messages with r*pe referenced.. Yup

Otherwise I've had no bad issues really (my ex was a disaster, but of course i knew that going in and worked on a plan to get out)

I *think* I'm a fairly good judge of character, but I'm also very pragmatic

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Red flags for me are petty underhand remarks about people here, As I know they wouldn't say it to their face. I could never trust them not to do the same to me.

People always under the impression that how they do things here and elsewhere is the correct way.

Judging others as they may not agree with your choices.

People who always come across as bitter that's another no no for me

My list of green flags is a lot longer as the above are in the minority.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have a good awareness of red flags. It’s only prudent.

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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

I find the use of red flags as a term gets diluted down as time goes on.

For me, the idea of a red flag is to signify “danger ahead”, and in relationship terms that means that proceeding is likely to be harmful to your physical and/or emotional well being.

What I often see is people trotting out “red flags” when people say or act in ways that they don’t like. Instead of just accepting that its an incompatibility between them, a difference of opinions or even just a behaviour that they don’t agree with they rush out to claim the person is triggering all manner of red flags. However its more likely the person isn’t dangerous, just someone you don’t want in your life.

You should try and be aware of what you consider to be red flags, however not to the detriment of being able to live your life.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I see all the red flags and wave plenty of my own. They are just so damn irresistable though arent they

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am aware of the red flags that I see. I will always take the step of talking about it to make sure that it isn’t just a misunderstanding.

One of my rules is that of something doesn’t feel right for either person then we just walk away. I’m not going to ignore red flags and I wouldn’t want someone to do that either

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I find the use of red flags as a term gets diluted down as time goes on.

For me, the idea of a red flag is to signify “danger ahead”, and in relationship terms that means that proceeding is likely to be harmful to your physical and/or emotional well being.

What I often see is people trotting out “red flags” when people say or act in ways that they don’t like. Instead of just accepting that its an incompatibility between them, a difference of opinions or even just a behaviour that they don’t agree with they rush out to claim the person is triggering all manner of red flags. However its more likely the person isn’t dangerous, just someone you don’t want in your life.

You should try and be aware of what you consider to be red flags, however not to the detriment of being able to live your life."

Yes, I agree with that. The ‘red flag’ term is often misused in my views.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Actually you're right as Red Flags signifies danger. In my previous post I spoke of things that now make me avoid people.

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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down


"I don't necessarily look for red flags but I find sometimes when I chat to people how they act in public and in private are completely different that to me is a red flag. If someone just can't be themselves all the ye time they it's hard to know which persona if either is real. Plus if they contradict them selves all the time then it's time to stop chatting I find .

The contradiction on is good, and from a male perspective it isn't always a red flag per se, but their initial interaction was more in agreement with you than they would normally be, simply to get your attention/a reply. If you interact, it's difficult to hold true to values you don't believe in"

I'd prefer if someone doesn't agree tho they just say it I'd respect someone more for standing up for what they believe rather than agreeing just to see if they can get the person to carry on chatting.

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

.


"I find the use of red flags as a term gets diluted down as time goes on.

For me, the idea of a red flag is to signify “danger ahead”, and in relationship terms that means that proceeding is likely to be harmful to your physical and/or emotional well being.

What I often see is people trotting out “red flags” when people say or act in ways that they don’t like. Instead of just accepting that its an incompatibility between them, a difference of opinions or even just a behaviour that they don’t agree with they rush out to claim the person is triggering all manner of red flags. However its more likely the person isn’t dangerous, just someone you don’t want in your life.

You should try and be aware of what you consider to be red flags, however not to the detriment of being able to live your life."

I agree with this, very well put.

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land


"I find the use of red flags as a term gets diluted down as time goes on.

For me, the idea of a red flag is to signify “danger ahead”, and in relationship terms that means that proceeding is likely to be harmful to your physical and/or emotional well being.

What I often see is people trotting out “red flags” when people say or act in ways that they don’t like. Instead of just accepting that its an incompatibility between them, a difference of opinions or even just a behaviour that they don’t agree with they rush out to claim the person is triggering all manner of red flags. However its more likely the person isn’t dangerous, just someone you don’t want in your life.

You should try and be aware of what you consider to be red flags, however not to the detriment of being able to live your life."

I agree and disagree, some of my red flags are really specific to me and I acknowledge that. And even though the person may not mean to cause me harm, my reaction to a certain behaviours is dangerous to my own mental health and wellbeing.

I think of red flags as something very personal to the individual and not something you ascribe to someone else in general.

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By *hroatQueen_CATV/TS
over a year ago

Carlisle


"I find the use of red flags as a term gets diluted down as time goes on.

For me, the idea of a red flag is to signify “danger ahead”, and in relationship terms that means that proceeding is likely to be harmful to your physical and/or emotional well being.

What I often see is people trotting out “red flags” when people say or act in ways that they don’t like. Instead of just accepting that its an incompatibility between them, a difference of opinions or even just a behaviour that they don’t agree with they rush out to claim the person is triggering all manner of red flags. However its more likely the person isn’t dangerous, just someone you don’t want in your life.

You should try and be aware of what you consider to be red flags, however not to the detriment of being able to live your life.

I agree and disagree, some of my red flags are really specific to me and I acknowledge that. And even though the person may not mean to cause me harm, my reaction to a certain behaviours is dangerous to my own mental health and wellbeing.

I think of red flags as something very personal to the individual and not something you ascribe to someone else in general. "

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

.


"I find the use of red flags as a term gets diluted down as time goes on.

For me, the idea of a red flag is to signify “danger ahead”, and in relationship terms that means that proceeding is likely to be harmful to your physical and/or emotional well being.

What I often see is people trotting out “red flags” when people say or act in ways that they don’t like. Instead of just accepting that its an incompatibility between them, a difference of opinions or even just a behaviour that they don’t agree with they rush out to claim the person is triggering all manner of red flags. However its more likely the person isn’t dangerous, just someone you don’t want in your life.

You should try and be aware of what you consider to be red flags, however not to the detriment of being able to live your life.

I agree and disagree, some of my red flags are really specific to me and I acknowledge that. And even though the person may not mean to cause me harm, my reaction to a certain behaviours is dangerous to my own mental health and wellbeing.

I think of red flags as something very personal to the individual and not something you ascribe to someone else in general. "

Frida, it's acknowledged in the second paragraph that red flags are dangerous to mental health and wellbeing.

I read it to mean that people sometimes use the term red flag or attribute red flags to a person rather than acknowledging that they're just not compatible. I think terms do lose their meanings and are widely used to express unhappiness rather than the original definition - narcissistic and psychopath are good examples of that.

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

This is an interesting subject OP.

As others have stated, red flags are often personal things and relate to trauma or situations that we don’t want to repeat, others are more broad according to what we want from those that we meet and how we manage our own experiences.

Sometimes I think that people become too focused on them though and ignore mitigating factors, other times they are too busy looking for the little ones that they fail to see the big huge ones flapping in the breeze.

Is there a resolution or conclusion? Not really, perhaps we could all do well to remember that we’re all human, that not every misstep is a character flaw but that some things don’t balance out others.

As for me? I’m sure that to some I’m littered with red flags, to others I’m an ideal meet, that’s the beauty of choice and preference

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land


"I find the use of red flags as a term gets diluted down as time goes on.

For me, the idea of a red flag is to signify “danger ahead”, and in relationship terms that means that proceeding is likely to be harmful to your physical and/or emotional well being.

What I often see is people trotting out “red flags” when people say or act in ways that they don’t like. Instead of just accepting that its an incompatibility between them, a difference of opinions or even just a behaviour that they don’t agree with they rush out to claim the person is triggering all manner of red flags. However its more likely the person isn’t dangerous, just someone you don’t want in your life.

You should try and be aware of what you consider to be red flags, however not to the detriment of being able to live your life.

I agree and disagree, some of my red flags are really specific to me and I acknowledge that. And even though the person may not mean to cause me harm, my reaction to a certain behaviours is dangerous to my own mental health and wellbeing.

I think of red flags as something very personal to the individual and not something you ascribe to someone else in general.

Frida, it's acknowledged in the second paragraph that red flags are dangerous to mental health and wellbeing.

I read it to mean that people sometimes use the term red flag or attribute red flags to a person rather than acknowledging that they're just not compatible. I think terms do lose their meanings and are widely used to express unhappiness rather than the original definition - narcissistic and psychopath are good examples of that."

One day I'll learn to read Meli lol. Find it hard when I have to scroll down and then is miss bits, sorry fetcouple

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land


"I find the use of red flags as a term gets diluted down as time goes on.

For me, the idea of a red flag is to signify “danger ahead”, and in relationship terms that means that proceeding is likely to be harmful to your physical and/or emotional well being.

What I often see is people trotting out “red flags” when people say or act in ways that they don’t like. Instead of just accepting that its an incompatibility between them, a difference of opinions or even just a behaviour that they don’t agree with they rush out to claim the person is triggering all manner of red flags. However its more likely the person isn’t dangerous, just someone you don’t want in your life.

You should try and be aware of what you consider to be red flags, however not to the detriment of being able to live your life.

I agree and disagree, some of my red flags are really specific to me and I acknowledge that. And even though the person may not mean to cause me harm, my reaction to a certain behaviours is dangerous to my own mental health and wellbeing.

I think of red flags as something very personal to the individual and not something you ascribe to someone else in general.

Frida, it's acknowledged in the second paragraph that red flags are dangerous to mental health and wellbeing.

I read it to mean that people sometimes use the term red flag or attribute red flags to a person rather than acknowledging that they're just not compatible. I think terms do lose their meanings and are widely used to express unhappiness rather than the original definition - narcissistic and psychopath are good examples of that.

One day I'll learn to read Meli lol. Find it hard when I have to scroll down and then is miss bits, sorry fetcouple "

Arghh I meant _etcpl, right I'm taking my dyslexic brain off for a cup of tea, before I make any more errors

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

.


"

One day I'll learn to read Meli lol. Find it hard when I have to scroll down and then is miss bits, sorry fetcouple

Arghh I meant _etcpl, right I'm taking my dyslexic brain off for a cup of tea, before I make any more errors "

Cup of tea is always a shout whatever time of day it is but I do get the scrolling down text and missing bits.

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By *ack688Man
over a year ago

abruzzo Italy (and UK)

It’s sometimes too easy to get carried away with liking someone and maybe not paying enough attention to things that would normally make you think twice. As the saying goes, when you’re wearing rose coloured glasses, red flags just look like flags

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

I don’t actively look for red flags, everyone starts off on a level playing field. However, something they say or do will be enough for my gut instinct to say no thanks, not my kind of person, once that kicks in there is no changing my mind.

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By *atricia ParnelWoman
over a year ago

In a town full of colours

Some people show me red flags instantly, some take a while to let them creep out, mine are tailored to myself and are a result of my past, the rest are through recognising behaviour training that I have done through work, my reaction is the same for both and that's to walk away very quickly x

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"This is an interesting subject OP.

As others have stated, red flags are often personal things and relate to trauma or situations that we don’t want to repeat, others are more broad according to what we want from those that we meet and how we manage our own experiences.

Sometimes I think that people become too focused on them though and ignore mitigating factors, other times they are too busy looking for the little ones that they fail to see the big huge ones flapping in the breeze.

Is there a resolution or conclusion? Not really, perhaps we could all do well to remember that we’re all human, that not every misstep is a character flaw but that some things don’t balance out others.

As for me? I’m sure that to some I’m littered with red flags, to others I’m an ideal meet, that’s the beauty of choice and preference"

I think you’re right, there can be mitigating factors, and we should be aware of that.

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