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"Everyone suffers at one point or another. It’s not anyone else’s responsibility " Not saying its anyone's responsibility but if you have the opportunity to help out, then why not? Doesn't even have to be full n help.. even a simple "how are you doing?" May just get them to realised they are not alone and someone does care. Most of the time, people may say they are fine even though they are not but just maybe that could be the turning point they needed. You just never know really | |||
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"Not enough people do things to try help those who are secretly crying out for help "If there secretly crying out for help how are you supposed to know. | |||
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"Not enough people do things to try help those who are secretly crying out for help
If there secretly crying out for help how are you supposed to know. ". I think we usually just know | |||
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"Not enough people do things to try help those who are secretly crying out for help
If there secretly crying out for help how are you supposed to know. .
I think we usually just know "I beg to differ because some people can hold that mask very well | |||
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"Not enough people do things to try help those who are secretly crying out for help
If there secretly crying out for help how are you supposed to know. .
I think we usually just know
I beg to differ because some people can hold that mask very well ". That’s usually why I can tell, it’s a generic mask we see someone wearing it if we used too | |||
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"Not enough people do things to try help those who are secretly crying out for help "Xxx hugs | |||
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"Everyone suffers at one point or another. It’s not anyone else’s responsibility " Perhaps this isn’t the thread for you to be commenting on. OP sorry to hear you’re having a tough time. Sending positive vibes and hope you now feel able to open up more about your problems | |||
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"Not enough people do things to try help those who are secretly crying out for help "Because sometimes you can't help those who don't want to be helped. That might be the reason. Are you talking about yourself OP? | |||
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"Not enough people do things to try help those who are secretly crying out for help "Maybe they are going through things themselves so can't. If you ask for help many people will try to help if they can.  | |||
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 ) and make you feel even worse.
There seems to be a lot of caring people on here and a feeling of a semi-anonymous community would be really helpful for people who are feeling down, and who knows, maybe someone would have the solution to your problems without them even realising they could make someone happy.
The world's gone to shit. This place could do something to make a little bit of the world a better place.
Hope things get better for you OP :/ | |||
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"Not enough people do things to try help those who are secretly crying out for help "If someone is secretly crying for help, how would someone know? I think that this line of thinking puts the emphasis on other people to save the person in pain. Actually the person in pain needs to ask for the help, as hard as that is. | |||
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"Not enough people do things to try help those who are secretly crying out for help
Maybe they are going through things themselves so can't.
If you ask for help many people will try to help if they can.
"And they need to make themselves priority. | |||
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"Everyone suffers at one point or another. It’s not anyone else’s responsibility " It’s not about responsibility, it’s about care and concern. We don’t have to feel responsible for someone, to be there for them. | |||
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"Not enough people do things to try help those who are secretly crying out for help
If there secretly crying out for help how are you supposed to know. .
I think we usually just know
I beg to differ because some people can hold that mask very well .
That’s usually why I can tell, it’s a generic mask we see someone wearing it if we used too "If you didn’t think so done is hiding that they need help, do you help them? | |||
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"Not enough people do things to try help those who are secretly crying out for help
If there secretly crying out for help how are you supposed to know. .
I think we usually just know
I beg to differ because some people can hold that mask very well .
That’s usually why I can tell, it’s a generic mask we see someone wearing it if we used too
If you didn’t think so done is hiding that they need help, do you help them?"Sometimes helping someone else helps me as it allows me to realise that I matter. Life is complicated | |||
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"Not enough people do things to try help those who are secretly crying out for help "If they are secretly crying for help, how are we meant to do something? If you suffer in silence you can’t blame others for not helping | |||
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"Not enough people do things to try help those who are secretly crying out for help "How do you help someone if they’re keeping their problems a secret? | |||
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"Yes of course but It’s not anyone’s business apart from ours " Is that because OP used the word 'secretly'? | |||
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"Not enough people do things to try help those who are secretly crying out for help "All we can do OP is be kind, check in on people, listen to what they are saying, and make space for them when they need it and never try to fix someone | |||
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"I don't like to burden others with my problems. I want help but I struggle to ask for it" Isn’t that what you’re doing now? If you carry your own burden for too long, it will break you. I get paid to help people, it’s my job, you wouldn’t be burdening a professional, it’s what they’re there for! | |||
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"Yes of course but It’s not anyone’s business apart from ours Is that because OP used the word 'secretly'?" It’s because talking to people is between the people talking. So the Op is obviously wanting to talk and not realising we all need to talk and many of us are behind closed doors | |||
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"Not enough people do things to try help those who are secretly crying out for help
If there secretly crying out for help how are you supposed to know. .
I think we usually just know
I beg to differ because some people can hold that mask very well "They can but sometimes things show in small ways, something some of us were trained to look out for in others in the work place in my last job and employees had people they could reach out to in confidence. One of the good things our company did. | |||
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"Yes of course but It’s not anyone’s business apart from ours Is that because OP used the word 'secretly'? It’s because talking to people is between the people talking. So the Op is obviously wanting to talk and not realising we all need to talk and many of us are behind closed doors " Ahh I see what you mean now  | |||
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"Yes of course but It’s not anyone’s business apart from ours Is that because OP used the word 'secretly'? It’s because talking to people is between the people talking. So the Op is obviously wanting to talk and not realising we all need to talk and many of us are behind closed doors " How do you know? | |||
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"I don't like to burden others with my problems. I want help but I struggle to ask for it Isn’t that what you’re doing now? If you carry your own burden for too long, it will break you. I get paid to help people, it’s my job, you wouldn’t be burdening a professional, it’s what they’re there for! " I'd tell you I'm having problems but I won't elaborate on it...it's difficult to explain. Waiting on IAPT but its 7 months | |||
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"Not enough people do things to try help those who are secretly crying out for help
If there secretly crying out for help how are you supposed to know. .
I think we usually just know
I beg to differ because some people can hold that mask very well "agreed! Many have taken there own lives | |||
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"Not enough people do things to try help those who are secretly crying out for help
If they are secretly crying for help, how are we meant to do something?
If you suffer in silence you can’t blame others for not helping "The thing is, the people are around you should pick up signals. It’s outstanding how some people go… I had no idea so and so… No, you just weren’t paying enough attention! This is especially directed to the closest ones like spouses / partners / family members… How can you not realise that mum (for example) is crying everyday and is just trying to cover up because she needs to be strong? Pick the fucking signals , guys! X | |||
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"Not enough people do things to try help those who are secretly crying out for help
If they are secretly crying for help, how are we meant to do something?
If you suffer in silence you can’t blame others for not helping
The thing is, the people are around you should pick up signals. It’s outstanding how some people go… I had no idea so and so…
No, you just weren’t paying enough attention! This is especially directed to the closest ones like spouses / partners / family members…
How can you not realise that mum (for example) is crying everyday and is just trying to cover up because she needs to be strong?
Pick the fucking signals , guys! X "Because some people are really good at hiding it and leave no signals. Saying that spouses / partners / family members should be paying more attention is not fair (in many cases). As humans, all we can go onon onset the information we are given, whether that is verbally or non verbally. And we should all try and be better at caring enough to look for that information, and acting on it, but not be made to feel guilty when we just don't see it. We also need to be better at putting our own lifejacket on first in many cases as well. | |||
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"Not enough people do things to try help those who are secretly crying out for help
If they are secretly crying for help, how are we meant to do something?
If you suffer in silence you can’t blame others for not helping
The thing is, the people are around you should pick up signals. It’s outstanding how some people go… I had no idea so and so…
No, you just weren’t paying enough attention! This is especially directed to the closest ones like spouses / partners / family members…
How can you not realise that mum (for example) is crying everyday and is just trying to cover up because she needs to be strong?
Pick the fucking signals , guys! X
Because some people are really good at hiding it and leave no signals.
Saying that spouses / partners / family members should be paying more attention is not fair (in many cases).
As humans, all we can go on is* the information we are given, whether that is verbally or non verbally. And we should all try and be better at caring enough to look for that information, and acting on it, but not be made to feel guilty when we just don't see it.
We also need to be better at putting our own lifejacket on first in many cases as well.
"*dammit. Didn't check it. That's better. | |||
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"Not enough people do things to try help those who are secretly crying out for help
If they are secretly crying for help, how are we meant to do something?
If you suffer in silence you can’t blame others for not helping
The thing is, the people are around you should pick up signals. It’s outstanding how some people go… I had no idea so and so…
No, you just weren’t paying enough attention! This is especially directed to the closest ones like spouses / partners / family members…
How can you not realise that mum (for example) is crying everyday and is just trying to cover up because she needs to be strong?
Pick the fucking signals , guys! X
Because some people are really good at hiding it and leave no signals.
Saying that spouses / partners / family members should be paying more attention is not fair (in many cases).
As humans, all we can go onon onset the information we are given, whether that is verbally or non verbally. And we should all try and be better at caring enough to look for that information, and acting on it, but not be made to feel guilty when we just don't see it.
We also need to be better at putting our own lifejacket on first in many cases as well.
"
Nobody in their senses would say that to someone who just lost a dear one to a suicide for example. Shifting responsibility is never the answer. | |||
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"Not enough people do things to try help those who are secretly crying out for help
If they are secretly crying for help, how are we meant to do something?
If you suffer in silence you can’t blame others for not helping
The thing is, the people are around you should pick up signals. It’s outstanding how some people go… I had no idea so and so…
No, you just weren’t paying enough attention! This is especially directed to the closest ones like spouses / partners / family members…
How can you not realise that mum (for example) is crying everyday and is just trying to cover up because she needs to be strong?
Pick the fucking signals , guys! X "If only it were that easy. | |||
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"Not enough people do things to try help those who are secretly crying out for help
If they are secretly crying for help, how are we meant to do something?
If you suffer in silence you can’t blame others for not helping
The thing is, the people are around you should pick up signals. It’s outstanding how some people go… I had no idea so and so…
No, you just weren’t paying enough attention! This is especially directed to the closest ones like spouses / partners / family members…
How can you not realise that mum (for example) is crying everyday and is just trying to cover up because she needs to be strong?
Pick the fucking signals , guys! X
If only it were that easy. "Robin Williams, Caroline flack, chris Cornell chester Bennington, Kate spade..all famous, all had depression, all committed suicide. Shame you weren't there to enlighten their families who were around them all the time. Live with them, eat with them, speak with them. People hide bulemia, gambling, drug addiction, self harming. I for 1 did not know my daughter was self harming for ages. THERE WERE NO FUCKING SIGNSLS TO PICK UP ON!! Instead I get to made to feel like its now somehow my fault ? My fault i didn't check her arms every day in winter even thi I didn't I had a reason I should, my fault i didn't notice the extra loo roll or plasters go missing? Tell me please ..what sighs should 8 of picked up on? | |||
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"Not enough people do things to try help those who are secretly crying out for help
If there secretly crying out for help how are you supposed to know. .
I think we usually just know
I beg to differ because some people can hold that mask very well "Agreed, and hide it too well... I have lost a few people to suicide and in my experience there were no signals, no indications A lot of advice centres around the sufferer and what they should/could do, sometimes you just haven't got the strength to see it ir act because sometimes getting through the day unscathed is a battle enough. And when you are in that position caring for someone suffering MH day in day out it is draining, People underestimate how much energy it does take, but it's ok, you are being strong for them but who is strong for you? I'd always get asked "how is.....?" "Do you know he is as fine as he can be but you know what? I feel like breaking today, I don't have much to give" To hear people say "read the signals" and "could do better" what if you have given all you can anyway and you are at breakpoint yourself? So let's avoid telling people 'they can do better' | |||
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"Not enough people do things to try help those who are secretly crying out for help
If they are secretly crying for help, how are we meant to do something?
If you suffer in silence you can’t blame others for not helping
The thing is, the people are around you should pick up signals. It’s outstanding how some people go… I had no idea so and so…
No, you just weren’t paying enough attention! This is especially directed to the closest ones like spouses / partners / family members…
How can you not realise that mum (for example) is crying everyday and is just trying to cover up because she needs to be strong?
Pick the fucking signals , guys! X
If only it were that easy.
Robin Williams, Caroline flack, chris Cornell chester Bennington, Kate spade..all famous, all had depression, all committed suicide. Shame you weren't there to enlighten their families who were around them all the time. Live with them, eat with them, speak with them. People hide bulemia, gambling, drug addiction, self harming. I for 1 did not know my daughter was self harming for ages. THERE WERE NO FUCKING SIGNSLS TO PICK UP ON!! Instead I get to made to feel like its now somehow my fault ? My fault i didn't check her arms every day in winter even thi I didn't I had a reason I should, my fault i didn't notice the extra loo roll or plasters go missing? Tell me please ..what sighs should 8 of picked up on? "
I hope your daughter is doing better now. | |||
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"Not enough people do things to try help those who are secretly crying out for help
If someone is secretly crying for help, how would someone know?
I think that this line of thinking puts the emphasis on other people to save the person in pain. Actually the person in pain needs to ask for the help, as hard as that is.
"I actually agree with this ^^^ taking responsibility for oneself is a good starting point | |||
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"Many times people don’t want advice or help, they literally just need somebody to listen without judgement. I once saw a quote from somebody who was saying that they’d started to ask if they wanted a solution or just somebody to listen when somebody came to him. Most of the time all they wanted was somebody to listen. The Samaritans do a really good book on how to listen effectively, it’s a real skill and most of us aren’t good at it. Even if somebody is going through something you’ve been through, resist the urge to share that as it’s unlikely to be helpful, everybody experiences things differently x " This is really good advice.. The listening skill... | |||
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"Not enough people do things to try help those who are secretly crying out for help
If they are secretly crying for help, how are we meant to do something?
If you suffer in silence you can’t blame others for not helping
The thing is, the people are around you should pick up signals. It’s outstanding how some people go… I had no idea so and so…
No, you just weren’t paying enough attention! This is especially directed to the closest ones like spouses / partners / family members…
How can you not realise that mum (for example) is crying everyday and is just trying to cover up because she needs to be strong?
Pick the fucking signals , guys! X
Because some people are really good at hiding it and leave no signals.
Saying that spouses / partners / family members should be paying more attention is not fair (in many cases).
As humans, all we can go onon onset the information we are given, whether that is verbally or non verbally. And we should all try and be better at caring enough to look for that information, and acting on it, but not be made to feel guilty when we just don't see it.
We also need to be better at putting our own lifejacket on first in many cases as well.
"Well said Posh | |||
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"Many times people don’t want advice or help, they literally just need somebody to listen without judgement. I once saw a quote from somebody who was saying that they’d started to ask if they wanted a solution or just somebody to listen when somebody came to him. Most of the time all they wanted was somebody to listen. The Samaritans do a really good book on how to listen effectively, it’s a real skill and most of us aren’t good at it. Even if somebody is going through something you’ve been through, resist the urge to share that as it’s unlikely to be helpful, everybody experiences things differently x This is really good advice.. The listening skill..." Absolutely. Listening to hear and not to reply. It takes cultivating, but it’s such a great thing to be able to give someone. | |||
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"Not enough people do things to try help those who are secretly crying out for help
If they are secretly crying for help, how are we meant to do something?
If you suffer in silence you can’t blame others for not helping
The thing is, the people are around you should pick up signals. It’s outstanding how some people go… I had no idea so and so…
No, you just weren’t paying enough attention! This is especially directed to the closest ones like spouses / partners / family members…
How can you not realise that mum (for example) is crying everyday and is just trying to cover up because she needs to be strong?
Pick the fucking signals , guys! X "This seems like a niave answer and quite insensitive. | |||
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"Not enough people do things to try help those who are secretly crying out for help
If there secretly crying out for help how are you supposed to know. .
I think we usually just know
I beg to differ because some people can hold that mask very well "Indeed, they can mask it very well. Some can't show it yet can't live with it. That is the "secretly crying out for help" that the OP means. Some talk about it and are told they are weak. | |||
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"Not enough people do things to try help those who are secretly crying out for help
If there secretly crying out for help how are you supposed to know. .
I think we usually just know
I beg to differ because some people can hold that mask very well
Indeed, they can mask it very well.
Some can't show it yet can't live with it. That is the "secretly crying out for help" that the OP means.
Some talk about it and are told they are weak."Yes. | |||
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"Not enough people do things to try help those who are secretly crying out for help
If there secretly crying out for help how are you supposed to know. .
I think we usually just know
I beg to differ because some people can hold that mask very well
Indeed, they can mask it very well.
Some can't show it yet can't live with it. That is the "secretly crying out for help" that the OP means.
Some talk about it and are told they are weak."Agree if I was to tell my mother that I was really down , she would reply what have you got to be down over, as I keep my personal issues away from the family.My partner would give a shit doesn't notice me 90% of the time anyway | |||
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"I will listen if someone wants to talk, but that only helps in the moment, it doesn't address the cause of the issue. My ex struggled with PTSD and suicidal thoughts, it took its toll on me, he wouldn't see a therapist and preferred to talk to me. It was too much. I hope he has the proper help he needs now. " I can only imagine what that must of been like for you. | |||
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"Not enough people do things to try help those who are secretly crying out for help "I know and it's a shame especially people with mental health issues | |||
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"It is hard to see at times. I'm down had enough of so much shit piling up on me.but never burden anyone with how I feel.to everyone on the outside I'm the caring one who would does anything for anyone with the biggest smile to hide the fact that on my own I cry my eyes out most days so for some it's hard to spot. But because of that I see it in my friends and know when they are dealing with issues so always there." It's hard to be the pillar for others if you don't build yourself strong first. I hope you find time and energy to look after yourself too. May better times come. | |||
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"Not enough people do things to try help those who are secretly crying out for help
If there secretly crying out for help how are you supposed to know. .
I think we usually just know
I beg to differ because some people can hold that mask very well
Indeed, they can mask it very well.
Some can't show it yet can't live with it. That is the "secretly crying out for help" that the OP means.
Some talk about it and are told they are weak.
Agree if I was to tell my mother that I was really down , she would reply what have you got to be down over, as I keep my personal issues away from the family.My partner would give a shit doesn't notice me 90% of the time anyway "Hear your loneliness and hope you start rocking boats…you deserve to be heard xx | |||
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"Again thanks everyone for the support" Take care OP. Please post again whenever you need support. | |||
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"Again thanks everyone for the support Take care OP. Please post again whenever you need support." I'm doing my best to keep a float thanks very much pal | |||
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"Like when you want a blowjob" Rude | |||
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"Like when you want a blowjob Rude " haha oh well it's all good an let's be honest what man doesn't like them | |||
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"Like when you want a blowjob Rude " haha oh well it's all good an let's be honest what man doesn't like them | |||
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"Not enough people do things to try help those who are secretly crying out for help
If they are secretly crying for help, how are we meant to do something?
If you suffer in silence you can’t blame others for not helping
The thing is, the people are around you should pick up signals. It’s outstanding how some people go… I had no idea so and so…
No, you just weren’t paying enough attention! This is especially directed to the closest ones like spouses / partners / family members…
How can you not realise that mum (for example) is crying everyday and is just trying to cover up because she needs to be strong?
Pick the fucking signals , guys! X
This seems like a niave answer and quite insensitive. "It may be an insensitive answer but I’ve seen my mum struggle and battle with some bad depression and the signals were there. They weren’t clear but you know your own people around you best. I also never said people should feel responsible if they don’t get them. And it wasn’t implied either. But you know who’s around you and When things start to change and shift. We know deep down. On the other hand, I had some bad moments myself due to my situation and again, only a few people (my older sister) sensed my incredible deep unhappiness (but she’s very good at picking emotions as well) to the point I resorted to put myself into hospital rather than go about my day at school. So, don’t you guys come for me because I stated that people should try and open their eyes a little bit more and up their senses whenever possible.. | |||
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"Not enough people do things to try help those who are secretly crying out for help
If there secretly crying out for help how are you supposed to know. .
I think we usually just know
I beg to differ because some people can hold that mask very well
Indeed, they can mask it very well.
Some can't show it yet can't live with it. That is the "secretly crying out for help" that the OP means.
Some talk about it and are told they are weak.
Agree if I was to tell my mother that I was really down , she would reply what have you got to be down over, as I keep my personal issues away from the family.My partner would give a shit doesn't notice me 90% of the time anyway "Im sorry to hear that! Definitely not something someone should every say, especially your mother! | |||
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"Not enough people do things to try help those who are secretly crying out for help
If they are secretly crying for help, how are we meant to do something?
If you suffer in silence you can’t blame others for not helping
The thing is, the people are around you should pick up signals. It’s outstanding how some people go… I had no idea so and so…
No, you just weren’t paying enough attention! This is especially directed to the closest ones like spouses / partners / family members…
How can you not realise that mum (for example) is crying everyday and is just trying to cover up because she needs to be strong?
Pick the fucking signals , guys! X
This seems like a niave answer and quite insensitive.
It may be an insensitive answer but I’ve seen my mum struggle and battle with some bad depression and the signals were there. They weren’t clear but you know your own people around you best. I also never said people should feel responsible if they don’t get them. And it wasn’t implied either. But you know who’s around you and When things start to change and shift. We know deep down.
On the other hand, I had some bad moments myself due to my situation and again, only a few people (my older sister) sensed my incredible deep unhappiness (but she’s very good at picking emotions as well) to the point I resorted to put myself into hospital rather than go about my day at school.
So, don’t you guys come for me because I stated that people should try and open their eyes a little bit more and up their senses whenever possible.."Good for you Kylie, you tell 'em | |||
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"Not enough people do things to try help those who are secretly crying out for help
If there secretly crying out for help how are you supposed to know. .
I think we usually just know
I beg to differ because some people can hold that mask very well " | |||
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"Again thanks everyone for the support" Better days will come. And there are some sensitive, good listeners around here  | |||
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"It's hard to reach out when you can't find the words/don't know where to start/your story is long. " Or if afraid you won't be believed esp at times when you don't believe yourself | |||
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"It's hard to reach out when you can't find the words/don't know where to start/your story is long. Or if afraid you won't be believed esp at times when you don't believe yourself " this is the problems iv been having x | |||
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"It's hard to reach out when you can't find the words/don't know where to start/your story is long. Or if afraid you won't be believed esp at times when you don't believe yourself this is the problems iv been having x" Don't be scared you won't be believed. Waiting lists are long for gp but really worth getting one. They will understand. They will believe you. | |||
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"This sort of subject is a bit too serious for me on this site but I will put my little bit in.. people will probably hate what I say and judge.. but I don't get the crying for help part.. I was once in a real bad time in my life was for about a year.. I didn't want help I just knew I needed to come to terms with what had happened and try to continue.. I am different to others though I don't like help or sympathy there's always far worse off than myself.. I just switched everything off until I felt nothing then cracked on " What happened to you x | |||
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"This sort of subject is a bit too serious for me on this site but I will put my little bit in.. people will probably hate what I say and judge.. but I don't get the crying for help part.. I was once in a real bad time in my life was for about a year.. I didn't want help I just knew I needed to come to terms with what had happened and try to continue.. I am different to others though I don't like help or sympathy there's always far worse off than myself.. I just switched everything off until I felt nothing then cracked on What happened to you x" Would never share that on here.. I will say this though if you can manage to switch everything off it's hard to switch it back on.. | |||
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"This sort of subject is a bit too serious for me on this site but I will put my little bit in.. people will probably hate what I say and judge.. but I don't get the crying for help part.. I was once in a real bad time in my life was for about a year.. I didn't want help I just knew I needed to come to terms with what had happened and try to continue.. I am different to others though I don't like help or sympathy there's always far worse off than myself.. I just switched everything off until I felt nothing then cracked on What happened to you x Would never share that on here.. I will say this though if you can manage to switch everything off it's hard to switch it back on.. " Well I hope your ok xx thing's can eat away at you if you need a mate to listen look me up x | |||
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"Back in the day people used to be responsible for their actions, these days everything is always someone else's fault, people need to learn to take responsibility for their own shit seriously." Yeah you do | |||
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"Back in the day people used to be responsible for their actions, these days everything is always someone else's fault, people need to learn to take responsibility for their own shit seriously." I agree ?? | |||
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"Back in the day people used to be responsible for their actions, these days everything is always someone else's fault, people need to learn to take responsibility for their own shit seriously. I agree ?? " The ?? Was supposed to be 100% | |||
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"Not enough people do things to try help those who are secretly crying out for help "Maybe it’s because we’re not necessarily all qualified to do so, knowing that the wrong advise can do more harm than good. At best, we can simply lend an ear and listen to their problems and steer them in the right direction, which is to seek professional help; all of which is readily available on-line. | |||
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"Not enough people do things to try help those who are secretly crying out for help
Maybe it’s because we’re not necessarily all qualified to do so, knowing that the wrong advise can do more harm than good. At best, we can simply lend an ear and listen to their problems and steer them in the right direction, which is to seek professional help; all of which is readily available on-line."Depends what this "cry for help is for" | |||
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