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Suffering in silence

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By *jekim OP   Man
over a year ago

Wigan

Not enough people do things to try help those who are secretly crying out for help

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Everyone suffers at one point or another. It’s not anyone else’s responsibility

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By *jekim OP   Man
over a year ago

Wigan

I agree with you not saying it is just if you know someone is would you do more to help

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes of course but It’s not anyone’s business apart from ours

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By *xydadbodMan
over a year ago

Milton keynes


"Everyone suffers at one point or another. It’s not anyone else’s responsibility "

Not saying its anyone's responsibility but if you have the opportunity to help out, then why not?

Doesn't even have to be full n help.. even a simple "how are you doing?" May just get them to realised they are not alone and someone does care. Most of the time, people may say they are fine even though they are not but just maybe that could be the turning point they needed. You just never know really

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By *ld StrumpetWoman
over a year ago

Telford


"Not enough people do things to try help those who are secretly crying out for help "

If there secretly crying out for help how are you supposed to know.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Not enough people do things to try help those who are secretly crying out for help

If there secretly crying out for help how are you supposed to know. "

.

I think we usually just know

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By *asilyled1Man
over a year ago

ogmore valley

I’d like to think we’d all help someone if we knew they was suffering or starting to go downhill,especially if they were a mate. We’d be a pretty shitty mate if we didn’t

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By *ld StrumpetWoman
over a year ago

Telford


"Not enough people do things to try help those who are secretly crying out for help

If there secretly crying out for help how are you supposed to know. .

I think we usually just know "

I beg to differ because some people can hold that mask very well

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Not enough people do things to try help those who are secretly crying out for help

If there secretly crying out for help how are you supposed to know. .

I think we usually just know

I beg to differ because some people can hold that mask very well "

.

That’s usually why I can tell, it’s a generic mask we see someone wearing it if we used too

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT


"Not enough people do things to try help those who are secretly crying out for help "

Xxx hugs

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By *inky Biscuit DunkerMan
over a year ago

Gloucestershire


"Everyone suffers at one point or another. It’s not anyone else’s responsibility "

Perhaps this isn’t the thread for you to be commenting on.

OP sorry to hear you’re having a tough time. Sending positive vibes and hope you now feel able to open up more about your problems

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Not enough people do things to try help those who are secretly crying out for help "

Because sometimes you can't help those who don't want to be helped. That might be the reason.

Are you talking about yourself OP?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Not enough people do things to try help those who are secretly crying out for help "

Maybe they are going through things themselves so can't.

If you ask for help many people will try to help if they can.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It would be nice if people felt they could talk about problems here, without feeling like someone's gonna jump on you (no, not in that way ) and make you feel even worse.

There seems to be a lot of caring people on here and a feeling of a semi-anonymous community would be really helpful for people who are feeling down, and who knows, maybe someone would have the solution to your problems without them even realising they could make someone happy.

The world's gone to shit. This place could do something to make a little bit of the world a better place.

Hope things get better for you OP :/

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)


"Not enough people do things to try help those who are secretly crying out for help "

If someone is secretly crying for help, how would someone know?

I think that this line of thinking puts the emphasis on other people to save the person in pain. Actually the person in pain needs to ask for the help, as hard as that is.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Not enough people do things to try help those who are secretly crying out for help

Maybe they are going through things themselves so can't.

If you ask for help many people will try to help if they can.

"

And they need to make themselves priority.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Everyone suffers at one point or another. It’s not anyone else’s responsibility "

It’s not about responsibility, it’s about care and concern.

We don’t have to feel responsible for someone, to be there for them.

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By *acktar74Man
over a year ago

leeds

I once posted in here not a cry for help or a reach out to any one.

Someone messaged me and we chatted for a long time that evening.

I genuinely believe if someone hadn't asked me how I am I dread to think.

Spotting it and helping is hard.

People are private over mental health

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had someone message me this week asking if I was ok just because of something I'd said on a thread. People will reach out if they have an inkling.

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By *iss LovelyWoman
over a year ago

Here and There


"Not enough people do things to try help those who are secretly crying out for help

If there secretly crying out for help how are you supposed to know. .

I think we usually just know

I beg to differ because some people can hold that mask very well .

That’s usually why I can tell, it’s a generic mask we see someone wearing it if we used too "

If you didn’t think so done is hiding that they need help, do you help them?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Not enough people do things to try help those who are secretly crying out for help

If there secretly crying out for help how are you supposed to know. .

I think we usually just know

I beg to differ because some people can hold that mask very well .

That’s usually why I can tell, it’s a generic mask we see someone wearing it if we used too

If you didn’t think so done is hiding that they need help, do you help them?"

Sometimes helping someone else helps me as it allows me to realise that I matter. Life is complicated

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By *rMojoRisinMan
over a year ago

Sheffield

If you, or anyone else, needs to talk, I’m here.

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By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

w


"Not enough people do things to try help those who are secretly crying out for help "

If they are secretly crying for help, how are we meant to do something?

If you suffer in silence you can’t blame others for not helping

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Not enough people do things to try help those who are secretly crying out for help "

How do you help someone if they’re keeping their problems a secret?

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By *rostgiantMan
over a year ago

Chippenham

I don't like to burden others with my problems. I want help but I struggle to ask for it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Yes of course but It’s not anyone’s business apart from ours "

Is that because OP used the word 'secretly'?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Not enough people do things to try help those who are secretly crying out for help "

All we can do OP is be kind, check in on people, listen to what they are saying, and make space for them when they need it and never try to fix someone

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By *rMojoRisinMan
over a year ago

Sheffield


"I don't like to burden others with my problems. I want help but I struggle to ask for it"

Isn’t that what you’re doing now?

If you carry your own burden for too long, it will break you. I get paid to help people, it’s my job, you wouldn’t be burdening a professional, it’s what they’re there for!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Yes of course but It’s not anyone’s business apart from ours

Is that because OP used the word 'secretly'?"

It’s because talking to people is between the people talking. So the Op is obviously wanting to talk and not realising we all need to talk and many of us are behind closed doors

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch


"Not enough people do things to try help those who are secretly crying out for help

If there secretly crying out for help how are you supposed to know. .

I think we usually just know

I beg to differ because some people can hold that mask very well "

They can but sometimes things show in small ways, something some of us were trained to look out for in others in the work place in my last job and employees had people they could reach out to in confidence. One of the good things our company did.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Yes of course but It’s not anyone’s business apart from ours

Is that because OP used the word 'secretly'?

It’s because talking to people is between the people talking. So the Op is obviously wanting to talk and not realising we all need to talk and many of us are behind closed doors "

Ahh I see what you mean now

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT


"Yes of course but It’s not anyone’s business apart from ours

Is that because OP used the word 'secretly'?

It’s because talking to people is between the people talking. So the Op is obviously wanting to talk and not realising we all need to talk and many of us are behind closed doors "

How do you know?

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By *rostgiantMan
over a year ago

Chippenham


"I don't like to burden others with my problems. I want help but I struggle to ask for it

Isn’t that what you’re doing now?

If you carry your own burden for too long, it will break you. I get paid to help people, it’s my job, you wouldn’t be burdening a professional, it’s what they’re there for! "

I'd tell you I'm having problems but I won't elaborate on it...it's difficult to explain. Waiting on IAPT but its 7 months

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Not enough people do things to try help those who are secretly crying out for help

If there secretly crying out for help how are you supposed to know. .

I think we usually just know

I beg to differ because some people can hold that mask very well "

agreed! Many have taken there own lives

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If they are silent, you won't know. More usually they are cryptic, and you know.

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By *iger4uWoman
over a year ago

In my happy place

It depends. I never give advice in case it goes wrong fir the other person.

I listen and suggest options for them to look into.

But people have forgotten to check in one one another. I think we are all worn out with kindness at some point and self preservation should kick in.

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By *ose and her beastCouple
over a year ago

Watford

The main thing is you need to say something just getting it out there is a good start

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By *jekim OP   Man
over a year ago

Wigan

Thanks for all the comments people

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Not enough people do things to try help those who are secretly crying out for help

If they are secretly crying for help, how are we meant to do something?

If you suffer in silence you can’t blame others for not helping "

The thing is, the people are around you should pick up signals. It’s outstanding how some people go… I had no idea so and so…

No, you just weren’t paying enough attention! This is especially directed to the closest ones like spouses / partners / family members…

How can you not realise that mum (for example) is crying everyday and is just trying to cover up because she needs to be strong?

Pick the fucking signals , guys! X

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By *tarflyLouWoman
over a year ago

Preston

Many times people don’t want advice or help, they literally just need somebody to listen without judgement. I once saw a quote from somebody who was saying that they’d started to ask if they wanted a solution or just somebody to listen when somebody came to him. Most of the time all they wanted was somebody to listen.

The Samaritans do a really good book on how to listen effectively, it’s a real skill and most of us aren’t good at it. Even if somebody is going through something you’ve been through, resist the urge to share that as it’s unlikely to be helpful, everybody experiences things differently x

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon


"Not enough people do things to try help those who are secretly crying out for help

If they are secretly crying for help, how are we meant to do something?

If you suffer in silence you can’t blame others for not helping

The thing is, the people are around you should pick up signals. It’s outstanding how some people go… I had no idea so and so…

No, you just weren’t paying enough attention! This is especially directed to the closest ones like spouses / partners / family members…

How can you not realise that mum (for example) is crying everyday and is just trying to cover up because she needs to be strong?

Pick the fucking signals , guys! X "

Because some people are really good at hiding it and leave no signals.

Saying that spouses / partners / family members should be paying more attention is not fair (in many cases).

As humans, all we can go onon onset the information we are given, whether that is verbally or non verbally. And we should all try and be better at caring enough to look for that information, and acting on it, but not be made to feel guilty when we just don't see it.

We also need to be better at putting our own lifejacket on first in many cases as well.

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon


"Not enough people do things to try help those who are secretly crying out for help

If they are secretly crying for help, how are we meant to do something?

If you suffer in silence you can’t blame others for not helping

The thing is, the people are around you should pick up signals. It’s outstanding how some people go… I had no idea so and so…

No, you just weren’t paying enough attention! This is especially directed to the closest ones like spouses / partners / family members…

How can you not realise that mum (for example) is crying everyday and is just trying to cover up because she needs to be strong?

Pick the fucking signals , guys! X

Because some people are really good at hiding it and leave no signals.

Saying that spouses / partners / family members should be paying more attention is not fair (in many cases).

As humans, all we can go on is* the information we are given, whether that is verbally or non verbally. And we should all try and be better at caring enough to look for that information, and acting on it, but not be made to feel guilty when we just don't see it.

We also need to be better at putting our own lifejacket on first in many cases as well.

"

*dammit. Didn't check it. That's better.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Not enough people do things to try help those who are secretly crying out for help

If they are secretly crying for help, how are we meant to do something?

If you suffer in silence you can’t blame others for not helping

The thing is, the people are around you should pick up signals. It’s outstanding how some people go… I had no idea so and so…

No, you just weren’t paying enough attention! This is especially directed to the closest ones like spouses / partners / family members…

How can you not realise that mum (for example) is crying everyday and is just trying to cover up because she needs to be strong?

Pick the fucking signals , guys! X

Because some people are really good at hiding it and leave no signals.

Saying that spouses / partners / family members should be paying more attention is not fair (in many cases).

As humans, all we can go onon onset the information we are given, whether that is verbally or non verbally. And we should all try and be better at caring enough to look for that information, and acting on it, but not be made to feel guilty when we just don't see it.

We also need to be better at putting our own lifejacket on first in many cases as well.

"

Nobody in their senses would say that to someone who just lost a dear one to a suicide for example. Shifting responsibility is never the answer.

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By *ollydoesWoman
over a year ago

Shangri-La


"Not enough people do things to try help those who are secretly crying out for help

If they are secretly crying for help, how are we meant to do something?

If you suffer in silence you can’t blame others for not helping

The thing is, the people are around you should pick up signals. It’s outstanding how some people go… I had no idea so and so…

No, you just weren’t paying enough attention! This is especially directed to the closest ones like spouses / partners / family members…

How can you not realise that mum (for example) is crying everyday and is just trying to cover up because she needs to be strong?

Pick the fucking signals , guys! X "

If only it were that easy.

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By *ollydoesWoman
over a year ago

Shangri-La


"Not enough people do things to try help those who are secretly crying out for help

If they are secretly crying for help, how are we meant to do something?

If you suffer in silence you can’t blame others for not helping

The thing is, the people are around you should pick up signals. It’s outstanding how some people go… I had no idea so and so…

No, you just weren’t paying enough attention! This is especially directed to the closest ones like spouses / partners / family members…

How can you not realise that mum (for example) is crying everyday and is just trying to cover up because she needs to be strong?

Pick the fucking signals , guys! X

If only it were that easy. "

Robin Williams, Caroline flack, chris Cornell chester Bennington, Kate spade..all famous, all had depression, all committed suicide. Shame you weren't there to enlighten their families who were around them all the time. Live with them, eat with them, speak with them. People hide bulemia, gambling, drug addiction, self harming. I for 1 did not know my daughter was self harming for ages. THERE WERE NO FUCKING SIGNSLS TO PICK UP ON!! Instead I get to made to feel like its now somehow my fault ? My fault i didn't check her arms every day in winter even thi I didn't I had a reason I should, my fault i didn't notice the extra loo roll or plasters go missing? Tell me please ..what sighs should 8 of picked up on?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Not enough people do things to try help those who are secretly crying out for help

If there secretly crying out for help how are you supposed to know. .

I think we usually just know

I beg to differ because some people can hold that mask very well "

Agreed, and hide it too well... I have lost a few people to suicide and in my experience there were no signals, no indications

A lot of advice centres around the sufferer and what they should/could do, sometimes you just haven't got the strength to see it ir act because sometimes getting through the day unscathed is a battle enough.

And when you are in that position caring for someone suffering MH day in day out it is draining,

People underestimate how much energy it does take, but it's ok, you are being strong for them but who is strong for you? I'd always get asked "how is.....?" "Do you know he is as fine as he can be but you know what? I feel like breaking today, I don't have much to give"

To hear people say "read the signals" and "could do better" what if you have given all you can anyway and you are at breakpoint yourself? So let's avoid telling people 'they can do better'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Not enough people do things to try help those who are secretly crying out for help

If they are secretly crying for help, how are we meant to do something?

If you suffer in silence you can’t blame others for not helping

The thing is, the people are around you should pick up signals. It’s outstanding how some people go… I had no idea so and so…

No, you just weren’t paying enough attention! This is especially directed to the closest ones like spouses / partners / family members…

How can you not realise that mum (for example) is crying everyday and is just trying to cover up because she needs to be strong?

Pick the fucking signals , guys! X

If only it were that easy.

Robin Williams, Caroline flack, chris Cornell chester Bennington, Kate spade..all famous, all had depression, all committed suicide. Shame you weren't there to enlighten their families who were around them all the time. Live with them, eat with them, speak with them. People hide bulemia, gambling, drug addiction, self harming. I for 1 did not know my daughter was self harming for ages. THERE WERE NO FUCKING SIGNSLS TO PICK UP ON!! Instead I get to made to feel like its now somehow my fault ? My fault i didn't check her arms every day in winter even thi I didn't I had a reason I should, my fault i didn't notice the extra loo roll or plasters go missing? Tell me please ..what sighs should 8 of picked up on? "

I hope your daughter is doing better now.

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By *ollydoesWoman
over a year ago

Shangri-La

Living her best life at last x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Not enough people do things to try help those who are secretly crying out for help

If someone is secretly crying for help, how would someone know?

I think that this line of thinking puts the emphasis on other people to save the person in pain. Actually the person in pain needs to ask for the help, as hard as that is.

"

I actually agree with this ^^^ taking responsibility for oneself is a good starting point

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Many times people don’t want advice or help, they literally just need somebody to listen without judgement. I once saw a quote from somebody who was saying that they’d started to ask if they wanted a solution or just somebody to listen when somebody came to him. Most of the time all they wanted was somebody to listen.

The Samaritans do a really good book on how to listen effectively, it’s a real skill and most of us aren’t good at it. Even if somebody is going through something you’ve been through, resist the urge to share that as it’s unlikely to be helpful, everybody experiences things differently x

"

This is really good advice..

The listening skill...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I will listen if someone wants to talk, but that only helps in the moment, it doesn't address the cause of the issue.

My ex struggled with PTSD and suicidal thoughts, it took its toll on me, he wouldn't see a therapist and preferred to talk to me. It was too much. I hope he has the proper help he needs now.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Not enough people do things to try help those who are secretly crying out for help

If they are secretly crying for help, how are we meant to do something?

If you suffer in silence you can’t blame others for not helping

The thing is, the people are around you should pick up signals. It’s outstanding how some people go… I had no idea so and so…

No, you just weren’t paying enough attention! This is especially directed to the closest ones like spouses / partners / family members…

How can you not realise that mum (for example) is crying everyday and is just trying to cover up because she needs to be strong?

Pick the fucking signals , guys! X

Because some people are really good at hiding it and leave no signals.

Saying that spouses / partners / family members should be paying more attention is not fair (in many cases).

As humans, all we can go onon onset the information we are given, whether that is verbally or non verbally. And we should all try and be better at caring enough to look for that information, and acting on it, but not be made to feel guilty when we just don't see it.

We also need to be better at putting our own lifejacket on first in many cases as well.

"

Well said Posh

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By *orksRockerMan
over a year ago

Bradford

"Hello darkness my old friend

I've come to talk to you again"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Many times people don’t want advice or help, they literally just need somebody to listen without judgement. I once saw a quote from somebody who was saying that they’d started to ask if they wanted a solution or just somebody to listen when somebody came to him. Most of the time all they wanted was somebody to listen.

The Samaritans do a really good book on how to listen effectively, it’s a real skill and most of us aren’t good at it. Even if somebody is going through something you’ve been through, resist the urge to share that as it’s unlikely to be helpful, everybody experiences things differently x

This is really good advice..

The listening skill..."

Absolutely. Listening to hear and not to reply. It takes cultivating, but it’s such a great thing to be able to give someone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Not enough people do things to try help those who are secretly crying out for help

If they are secretly crying for help, how are we meant to do something?

If you suffer in silence you can’t blame others for not helping

The thing is, the people are around you should pick up signals. It’s outstanding how some people go… I had no idea so and so…

No, you just weren’t paying enough attention! This is especially directed to the closest ones like spouses / partners / family members…

How can you not realise that mum (for example) is crying everyday and is just trying to cover up because she needs to be strong?

Pick the fucking signals , guys! X "

This seems like a niave answer and quite insensitive.

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By *not123Couple
over a year ago

sp1

It is hard to see at times. I'm down had enough of so much shit piling up on me.but never burden anyone with how I feel.to everyone on the outside I'm the caring one who would does anything for anyone with the biggest smile to hide the fact that on my own I cry my eyes out most days so for some it's hard to spot. But because of that I see it in my friends and know when they are dealing with issues so always there.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Not enough people do things to try help those who are secretly crying out for help

If there secretly crying out for help how are you supposed to know. .

I think we usually just know

I beg to differ because some people can hold that mask very well "

Indeed, they can mask it very well.

Some can't show it yet can't live with it. That is the "secretly crying out for help" that the OP means.

Some talk about it and are told they are weak.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Not enough people do things to try help those who are secretly crying out for help

If there secretly crying out for help how are you supposed to know. .

I think we usually just know

I beg to differ because some people can hold that mask very well

Indeed, they can mask it very well.

Some can't show it yet can't live with it. That is the "secretly crying out for help" that the OP means.

Some talk about it and are told they are weak."

Yes.

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By *not123Couple
over a year ago

sp1


"Not enough people do things to try help those who are secretly crying out for help

If there secretly crying out for help how are you supposed to know. .

I think we usually just know

I beg to differ because some people can hold that mask very well

Indeed, they can mask it very well.

Some can't show it yet can't live with it. That is the "secretly crying out for help" that the OP means.

Some talk about it and are told they are weak."

Agree if I was to tell my mother that I was really down , she would reply what have you got to be down over, as I keep my personal issues away from the family.My partner would give a shit doesn't notice me 90% of the time anyway

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By *ollydoesWoman
over a year ago

Shangri-La


"I will listen if someone wants to talk, but that only helps in the moment, it doesn't address the cause of the issue.

My ex struggled with PTSD and suicidal thoughts, it took its toll on me, he wouldn't see a therapist and preferred to talk to me. It was too much. I hope he has the proper help he needs now. "

I can only imagine what that must of been like for you.

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By *r-8-BBCMan
over a year ago

LONDON


"Not enough people do things to try help those who are secretly crying out for help "

I know and it's a shame especially people with mental health issues

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It is hard to see at times. I'm down had enough of so much shit piling up on me.but never burden anyone with how I feel.to everyone on the outside I'm the caring one who would does anything for anyone with the biggest smile to hide the fact that on my own I cry my eyes out most days so for some it's hard to spot. But because of that I see it in my friends and know when they are dealing with issues so always there."

It's hard to be the pillar for others if you don't build yourself strong first. I hope you find time and energy to look after yourself too. May better times come.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Not enough people do things to try help those who are secretly crying out for help

If there secretly crying out for help how are you supposed to know. .

I think we usually just know

I beg to differ because some people can hold that mask very well

Indeed, they can mask it very well.

Some can't show it yet can't live with it. That is the "secretly crying out for help" that the OP means.

Some talk about it and are told they are weak.

Agree if I was to tell my mother that I was really down , she would reply what have you got to be down over, as I keep my personal issues away from the family.My partner would give a shit doesn't notice me 90% of the time anyway "

Hear your loneliness and hope you start rocking boats…you deserve to be heard xx

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By *jekim OP   Man
over a year ago

Wigan

Again thanks everyone for the support

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Again thanks everyone for the support"

Take care OP. Please post again whenever you need support.

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By *jekim OP   Man
over a year ago

Wigan


"Again thanks everyone for the support

Take care OP. Please post again whenever you need support."

I'm doing my best to keep a float thanks very much pal

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By *ames-77Man
over a year ago

milton keynes

Like when you want a blowjob

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT


"Like when you want a blowjob"

Rude

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By *jekim OP   Man
over a year ago

Wigan


"Like when you want a blowjob

Rude "

haha oh well it's all good an let's be honest what man doesn't like them

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By *jekim OP   Man
over a year ago

Wigan


"Like when you want a blowjob

Rude "

haha oh well it's all good an let's be honest what man doesn't like them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Not enough people do things to try help those who are secretly crying out for help

If they are secretly crying for help, how are we meant to do something?

If you suffer in silence you can’t blame others for not helping

The thing is, the people are around you should pick up signals. It’s outstanding how some people go… I had no idea so and so…

No, you just weren’t paying enough attention! This is especially directed to the closest ones like spouses / partners / family members…

How can you not realise that mum (for example) is crying everyday and is just trying to cover up because she needs to be strong?

Pick the fucking signals , guys! X

This seems like a niave answer and quite insensitive. "

It may be an insensitive answer but I’ve seen my mum struggle and battle with some bad depression and the signals were there. They weren’t clear but you know your own people around you best. I also never said people should feel responsible if they don’t get them. And it wasn’t implied either. But you know who’s around you and When things start to change and shift. We know deep down.

On the other hand, I had some bad moments myself due to my situation and again, only a few people (my older sister) sensed my incredible deep unhappiness (but she’s very good at picking emotions as well) to the point I resorted to put myself into hospital rather than go about my day at school.

So, don’t you guys come for me because I stated that people should try and open their eyes a little bit more and up their senses whenever possible..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Not enough people do things to try help those who are secretly crying out for help

If there secretly crying out for help how are you supposed to know. .

I think we usually just know

I beg to differ because some people can hold that mask very well

Indeed, they can mask it very well.

Some can't show it yet can't live with it. That is the "secretly crying out for help" that the OP means.

Some talk about it and are told they are weak.

Agree if I was to tell my mother that I was really down , she would reply what have you got to be down over, as I keep my personal issues away from the family.My partner would give a shit doesn't notice me 90% of the time anyway "

Im sorry to hear that! Definitely not something someone should every say, especially your mother!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Not enough people do things to try help those who are secretly crying out for help

If they are secretly crying for help, how are we meant to do something?

If you suffer in silence you can’t blame others for not helping

The thing is, the people are around you should pick up signals. It’s outstanding how some people go… I had no idea so and so…

No, you just weren’t paying enough attention! This is especially directed to the closest ones like spouses / partners / family members…

How can you not realise that mum (for example) is crying everyday and is just trying to cover up because she needs to be strong?

Pick the fucking signals , guys! X

This seems like a niave answer and quite insensitive.

It may be an insensitive answer but I’ve seen my mum struggle and battle with some bad depression and the signals were there. They weren’t clear but you know your own people around you best. I also never said people should feel responsible if they don’t get them. And it wasn’t implied either. But you know who’s around you and When things start to change and shift. We know deep down.

On the other hand, I had some bad moments myself due to my situation and again, only a few people (my older sister) sensed my incredible deep unhappiness (but she’s very good at picking emotions as well) to the point I resorted to put myself into hospital rather than go about my day at school.

So, don’t you guys come for me because I stated that people should try and open their eyes a little bit more and up their senses whenever possible.."

Good for you Kylie, you tell 'em

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By *othicslaveCouple
over a year ago

Norfolk


"Not enough people do things to try help those who are secretly crying out for help

If there secretly crying out for help how are you supposed to know. .

I think we usually just know

I beg to differ because some people can hold that mask very well "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Again thanks everyone for the support"

Better days will come. And there are some sensitive, good listeners around here

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By *inkySeeKinkyDoWoman
over a year ago

'tween PontyCarlo & CasVegas in West Yorks

I've always found it extremely difficult to open up to my friends and family and I can mask my depression extremely well. I find it much easier to open up online to relative strangers and always have done. I have no idea why it works this way for me but it does.

You are not alone OP, and having the strength to reach out like this can only be a positive thing. We might not have all the answers but even the smallest exchange can be a life saver xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's hard to reach out when you can't find the words/don't know where to start/your story is long.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It's hard to reach out when you can't find the words/don't know where to start/your story is long. "

Or if afraid you won't be believed esp at times when you don't believe yourself

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By *jekim OP   Man
over a year ago

Wigan


"It's hard to reach out when you can't find the words/don't know where to start/your story is long.

Or if afraid you won't be believed esp at times when you don't believe yourself "

this is the problems iv been having x

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By *ollydoesWoman
over a year ago

Shangri-La


"It's hard to reach out when you can't find the words/don't know where to start/your story is long.

Or if afraid you won't be believed esp at times when you don't believe yourself this is the problems iv been having x"

Don't be scared you won't be believed. Waiting lists are long for gp but really worth getting one. They will understand. They will believe you.

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By *ames-77Man
over a year ago

milton keynes

This sort of subject is a bit too serious for me on this site but I will put my little bit in.. people will probably hate what I say and judge.. but I don't get the crying for help part.. I was once in a real bad time in my life was for about a year.. I didn't want help I just knew I needed to come to terms with what had happened and try to continue.. I am different to others though I don't like help or sympathy there's always far worse off than myself.. I just switched everything off until I felt nothing then cracked on

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT


"This sort of subject is a bit too serious for me on this site but I will put my little bit in.. people will probably hate what I say and judge.. but I don't get the crying for help part.. I was once in a real bad time in my life was for about a year.. I didn't want help I just knew I needed to come to terms with what had happened and try to continue.. I am different to others though I don't like help or sympathy there's always far worse off than myself.. I just switched everything off until I felt nothing then cracked on "

What happened to you x

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By *ames-77Man
over a year ago

milton keynes


"This sort of subject is a bit too serious for me on this site but I will put my little bit in.. people will probably hate what I say and judge.. but I don't get the crying for help part.. I was once in a real bad time in my life was for about a year.. I didn't want help I just knew I needed to come to terms with what had happened and try to continue.. I am different to others though I don't like help or sympathy there's always far worse off than myself.. I just switched everything off until I felt nothing then cracked on

What happened to you x"

Would never share that on here.. I will say this though if you can manage to switch everything off it's hard to switch it back on..

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT


"This sort of subject is a bit too serious for me on this site but I will put my little bit in.. people will probably hate what I say and judge.. but I don't get the crying for help part.. I was once in a real bad time in my life was for about a year.. I didn't want help I just knew I needed to come to terms with what had happened and try to continue.. I am different to others though I don't like help or sympathy there's always far worse off than myself.. I just switched everything off until I felt nothing then cracked on

What happened to you x

Would never share that on here.. I will say this though if you can manage to switch everything off it's hard to switch it back on.. "

Well I hope your ok xx thing's can eat away at you if you need a mate to listen look me up x

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By *ob08Man
over a year ago

Macclesfield

Back in the day people used to be responsible for their actions, these days everything is always someone else's fault, people need to learn to take responsibility for their own shit seriously.

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT


"Back in the day people used to be responsible for their actions, these days everything is always someone else's fault, people need to learn to take responsibility for their own shit seriously."

Yeah you do

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By *ames-77Man
over a year ago

milton keynes

[Removed by poster at 18/10/21 00:42:33]

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By *ames-77Man
over a year ago

milton keynes


"Back in the day people used to be responsible for their actions, these days everything is always someone else's fault, people need to learn to take responsibility for their own shit seriously."

I agree ??

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By *ames-77Man
over a year ago

milton keynes


"Back in the day people used to be responsible for their actions, these days everything is always someone else's fault, people need to learn to take responsibility for their own shit seriously.

I agree ?? "

The ?? Was supposed to be 100%

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Not enough people do things to try help those who are secretly crying out for help "

Maybe it’s because we’re not necessarily all qualified to do so, knowing that the wrong advise can do more harm than good. At best, we can simply lend an ear and listen to their problems and steer them in the right direction, which is to seek professional help; all of which is readily available on-line.

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By *ames-77Man
over a year ago

milton keynes


"Not enough people do things to try help those who are secretly crying out for help

Maybe it’s because we’re not necessarily all qualified to do so, knowing that the wrong advise can do more harm than good. At best, we can simply lend an ear and listen to their problems and steer them in the right direction, which is to seek professional help; all of which is readily available on-line."

Depends what this "cry for help is for"

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