FabSwingers.com forum: Single guys stand no chance

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I’m new to this swinger world and trying to get involved but as a single guy it seems impossible, women are swamped with 100’s of messages a day so how am I going to recognised or stand out? Women help! Any advise please?

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Keep trying

Your very handsome x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You’re not alone!

Pardon the paradox

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By *rsandBooMan
over a year ago

Reading

"I’m new to this swinger world and trying to get involved but as a single guy it seems impossible, women are swamped with 100’s of messages a day so how am I going to recognised or stand out? Women help! Any advise please? "

Always read profiles properly and try and engage from their. No htes but will enhance your chances

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By *heVonMatterhornsCouple
over a year ago

Lincoln

I would ask yourself, what makes me stand out from the sea of single guys on here?

It's not as hard as you might think.

LvM

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By *rsandBooMan
over a year ago

Reading

Always read profiles properly and try and engage from their. No htes but will enhance your chances "

No guarantees I meant lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I’m naturally comfortable “in person” I think that’s where I stand out, I guess I’ve gotta get used to “text” style start ups

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By *quaman87Man
over a year ago

Colchester

Trouble is most think they are gonna join and think there gonna getbfucked daily!!! Don't work like that. This ain't tinder my man!! You actually have to make the effort and talk to other humans!! Yes we all like sex here and are looking for new experiences, but that don't mean everyone on here just gets fucked by anyone!! Patience, a little bit of effort, a conversation, as hard as that is for some Is essential, people have standards and are looking for more than a quickie. Build a connection and make friends instead of being the usual thirsty male!

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By *heVonMatterhornsCouple
over a year ago

Lincoln

"Trouble is most think they are gonna join and think there gonna getbfucked daily!!! Don't work like that. This ain't tinder my man!! You actually have to make the effort and talk to other humans!! Yes we all like sex here and are looking for new experiences, but that don't mean everyone on here just gets fucked by anyone!! Patience, a little bit of effort, a conversation, as hard as that is for some Is essential, people have standards and are looking for more than a quickie. Build a connection and make friends instead of being the usual thirsty male!

It may also be worth starting a thread asking for some profile advice

LvM

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

It may also be worth starting a thread asking for some profile advice

LvM"
.he been here 2 weeks only

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By *oneyCPL8484Couple
over a year ago

Gosport

We totally agree!

The social side is just as fun if you connect with right people and only makes meets even better x

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By *heVonMatterhornsCouple
over a year ago

Lincoln

It may also be worth starting a thread asking for some profile advice

LvM.

he been here 2 weeks only

Sorry, what's the standard Fab probation period now?

LvM

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yeah it’s hard work but if ya keep it up you’ll get the messages back

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By *olourpurpleMan
over a year ago

Waterford

Two weeks isn’t long. Just keep at it for a while and you should meet some people who match what you’re looking for.

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

It may also be worth starting a thread asking for some profile advice

LvM.

he been here 2 weeks only

Sorry, what's the standard Fab probation period now?

LvM"

5 years

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Mate I’m fully with what your saying! Believe me when I say I ain’t on here thinking I’m going to be fucking 7 days a week, that ain’t the reason I joined lol, I think my question is getting twisted a bit, I’m old school, I’ve always met people in real life, pubs and bars etc, where people are face 2 face and personalities connect, when 100 bloke are messaging 1 girl a day, how do you show yourself and stand out on that? Impossible no?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not true, a bit of patience and you'll see results.

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By *quaman87Man
over a year ago

Colchester

We totally agree!

The social side is just as fun if you connect with right people and only makes meets even better x"

See this type of subject posted all the time.!

Yes I am male and yes I like sex, but to old in to tooth for a quickie and meaningless sex. It's all.about a little effort and actually making the effort to woo a women. It's not a dating site! Little bit of graft guys that's all

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By *quaman87Man
over a year ago

Colchester

"Mate I’m fully with what your saying! Believe me when I say I ain’t on here thinking I’m going to be fucking 7 days a week, that ain’t the reason I joined lol, I think my question is getting twisted a bit, I’m old school, I’ve always met people in real life, pubs and bars etc, where people are face 2 face and personalities connect, when 100 bloke are messaging 1 girl a day, how do you show yourself and stand out on that? Impossible no? "
exactly,how do you stand out from the rest?? That a question only you can answere! Look at your pf, does that stand out?? Isit the same as the next guys?? What's your first message to a women?? Etc. Make yourself standout!

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"Mate I’m fully with what your saying! Believe me when I say I ain’t on here thinking I’m going to be fucking 7 days a week, that ain’t the reason I joined lol, I think my question is getting twisted a bit, I’m old school, I’ve always met people in real life, pubs and bars etc, where people are face 2 face and personalities connect, when 100 bloke are messaging 1 girl a day, how do you show yourself and stand out on that? Impossible no? exactly,how do you stand out from the rest?? That a question only you can answere! Look at your pf, does that stand out?? Isit the same as the next guys?? What's your first message to a women?? Etc. Make yourself standout! "
this is it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Patient is a virtue on here

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"Patient is a virtue on here

Yep

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Fair play and a decent answer! My profile is probably boring as fuck lol, but again that’s cause I ain’t into that “bigging myself” up bollocks, I’m not in any rush or thinking I’m not getting enough attention, I was just curious for advice

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By *quaman87Man
over a year ago

Colchester

"Fair play and a decent answer! My profile is probably boring as fuck lol, but again that’s cause I ain’t into that “bigging myself” up bollocks, I’m not in any rush or thinking I’m not getting enough attention, I was just curious for advice "
wasn't even a dig at ya mate, just iv been on here long enough now! My profile ain't great and I couldn't give a fuck if I meet anyone or not. Made some great friends while being on here and a few future meets etc. It's a experience on Fab to day the least but patience is key send trust me the waits worth it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

you get out what you put in, try a few socials and /or clubs, as a single guy im not sure how much luck you will have on fab, god its hard enough for couples, dont forget its not instashag, swinging is more about friends with benifits, so make an effort, its very boring , the amount of single guys who moan they cant get a meet, yet have put no effort in, not saying you havnt, but you vastly out number any other demographic, so you need to put in more effort, if a quick shag is what you are after then this isnt the place for you, you will have more luck in a night club or somewhere

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By *ames-77Man
over a year ago

milton keynes

This statement makes no sense

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

It’s not a statement, it’s a question, a conversation starter

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By *ittleMissCaliWoman
over a year ago

all loved up

I mostly only meet single guys... but some of the messages I get are ridiculous.

Make sure you read profiles and good luck. It's hard work on here

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By *tew008Man
over a year ago

edinburgh

"Patient is a virtue on here

riga mortis is a feature as well

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By *r easy1981Man
over a year ago

leeds

This is definitely true

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By *ck BasswardsMan
over a year ago

Newcastle

Tinder is a guarantee of dating, sex is not necessarily a guarantee, this is a sex site for swingers but that does not equate to a guarantee of sex, its like when i speak to guys in clubs, if they come in with a sense of entitlement, and a pre determined assumption that just by being there they are “owed” a sexual interaction sort of “well im here, i paid to get in”….

*claps* “good for you mate”

they have come in with the wrong attitude, they need to be social, have a laugh, chillout, and you will be suprised at the amount of benefit you will get from this mentality, sure be cheeky, be flirty, be filthy, but be able to hold a convo…. You could do worse than adopt the same mentality for this site

The standard advice you will hear is read the profiles, cater a message to specifically what they say, comment on interests etc, this can admittedly be a more time consuming approach, and depressing IF not read or no reply is received, but you Really DO get out what you put in…. Despite being aware this is the case i still take this action, personal preference…. They will spot a copy/paste message….

Its worth mentally preparing yourself if you decide to adopt the approach i prefer, that a lot of these wont be replied to, some wont be read, certainly some will be deleted, (some will reply tho) try not to let it get to you…. Or think less of the individual…. Never ever be the guy that gets abusive, no one likes that guy, worth noting…

A) people have lives/work/families

B) A non reply is a polite no, when read (unless they havent even seen it in which case it will be unread)

C) Women on here are inundated with msgs

D) its also worth mentally noting, not all “deleted” messages are actually deleted by the person you sent it to…. Mailbox only holds a certain amount of messages for certain amount of time, if by default they receive messages in bulk quicker than they can read them, it will delete them due to newer messages received (i had a female friend get 2000 msgs in one night)

I have been on here for over 7yrs. I didnt have the balls to go to clubs during the first 3/4 yrs, this makes it hard to be verified/trusted, etc, hard, not impossible…. But going to clubs helped greatly, just a thought, again up to you to decide if this is any good to you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's almost like looking for work.

Your profile is your CV

Your pictures are your portfolio

Your message is your cover note

Know what you're applying for, do a little research before contacting, then let them know why you're applying ..... Read their profile

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP, Click the Reply+Quote, that way people know who you're replying to.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not a woman but love being womanly.

Have talked about this often with men & it's really soul destroying. Having to walk on egg shells/ patience of a saint/constantly polite having to make the effort even though meesages aren't read, (proudly stated by many women) treated like dirt. And having to pick yourself up every time to what..not get replies or common courtesy as you see others have a whale of a time. No joke. And then there is the casual sexism shown to men which has become commonplace.

On top of that people are still catching up with people after isolation & there is a bit of a bottleneck.

You're one of the luckier ones in that you are good-looking & have avoided adding terrible pics to make it even harder.

You'll get there but it will take ages.

Fab should organise socials.. there is such a brilliant network on here to tap into.

Good luck !

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By *ikesEmBigMan
over a year ago

Herts

Don't show them your willy. They hate that

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By *ablo minibar123Woman
over a year ago

It's far from impossible, I know a fair few men who do very well on here. They keep their expectations low, and treat the place as a social experience, anything else they get from it is a bonus.

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By *iss LovelyWoman
over a year ago

Here and There

Relying solely on Fab for meets is notoriously difficult for single guys, especially at the start. If you’re better off in person then go to your local club and see if you do better there.

If you’re sticking to using Fab then you have to have a top notch profile and be excellent at communicating in writing. Search the forum for ‘profile advice’ and read some of those threads, you’ll find lots of good advice on how to stand out. If you want people to review your profile and give you specific feedback then you have to ask directly for it, the Forum rules are very specific about that.

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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

If you actually think you're profile is 'boring as fuck' then why would you expect a reply. Your profile is what entices people to answer you.Before I even open a message from anyone new I look at their profile if it doesn't appeal or seems like the person hasn't bothered making an effort then chances are I won't reply or if I do it's a no thank you reply.

A lot of women don't get loads of messages because we have our filters tight because we don't want 100s of messages daily. I personally don't see the point in getting a load of them that I won't read or answer. In saying that it does not mean when I log in I'm going to spend time answering messages from people that don't appeal to me. And a profile where someone has made minimum effort and it tells me nothing really about the person and it doesn't mean bigging yourself up makes me think they can't really be that bothered and thinks minimum effort will equal maximum results.

But that's just me and how I do fab plenty of others do it differently.

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By *estcountryDadBodMan
over a year ago

Exeter

Have a profile that is interesting and true to you, not about selling yourself per se but it’s got to show a bit about you.

Tailored first messages to those you do contact, show you’ve looked and read and understood and maybe a bit about why you’ve approached them.

Forums are great for gaining interest in you and your profile. Also the games and photo challenges are good for a mix of pics

Try not to get butt hurt if people don’t want you, you can’t be everyone’s cup of tea but you will be someone’s.

Have fun, play nice. You’ll be fine

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By *uitedSuitorMan
over a year ago

Halifax / Leeds

Beat advice I've got for you would be to be true. I've sent/received messages in the past that just don't work for me, either there isn't that initial 'spark', or attraction.

I've found that the more time you spend in the Forum's (where the fake profiles seem to stay away from), it builds your profile on here and it becomes easier to talk to new people.

Good luck dude!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Have a profile that is interesting and true to you, not about selling yourself per se but it’s got to show a bit about you.

Tailored first messages to those you do contact, show you’ve looked and read and understood and maybe a bit about why you’ve approached them.

Forums are great for gaining interest in you and your profile. Also the games and photo challenges are good for a mix of pics

Try not to get butt hurt if people don’t want you, you can’t be everyone’s cup of tea but you will be someone’s.

Have fun, play nice. You’ll be fine

This

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Try filters on your pics like this guy ^^^

(Sorry, I couldn’t resist

)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've sent generic messages, I've sent tailored messages according to profiles, I've even included words that are requested in the subject line and 9 out of 10 times, messages don't even get read.

At times, I've exchanged lovely long messages with a lot of banter etc from both sides and all of a sudden, no replies even though the person has read the message. How hard is it to say, "sorry, not interests", or "sorry, I don't find you attractive"

If you're lucky enough to get a reply, more often than not, you'll receive a one worded reply. I just block these members.

Funny old world...

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

"I’m naturally comfortable “in person” I think that’s where I stand out, I guess I’ve gotta get used to “text” style start ups"

Then get off yer arse and meet people in person then. There are plenty of opportunities every single week with organised social events and clubs up and down the country.

You're the person holding you back.

An awful lot of women only meet in clubs for safety reasons and use the site as a tool to keep in touch with those they connect with there and keep up to date with club nights and events so by not going, you're already limiting yourself massively

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By *ausage1970Man
over a year ago

Shrewsbury

Engage with the scene try clubs and be yourself. Be nice too as if someone says no or doesn't message back don't throw your toys out.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The first thing to do is drop the myth that it is impossible for single guys to meet. As soon as you start thinking this way you will naturally look for the evidence that supports this theory.

You need to network, without the need for every exchange to be a potential meet. Remain current but uploading a new pic often, chat in the forums in a positive way, and write a bio that will want people to know more about you.

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By *sBlueWoman
over a year ago

Up North

"I’m naturally comfortable “in person” I think that’s where I stand out, I guess I’ve gotta get used to “text” style start ups

Then get off yer arse and meet people in person then. There are plenty of opportunities every single week with organised social events and clubs up and down the country.

You're the person holding you back.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’m naturally comfortable “in person” I think that’s where I stand out, I guess I’ve gotta get used to “text” style start ups"

Go to clubs/parties if you shine better in person take advantage of that and be seen in person

Doughnut

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm a single guy and get daily messages offering to meet and suck my cock.

It's very flattering, but unfortunately, they're all offers from other single men and I'm not gay.

I kind of wish I was as I'd get a lot of sex

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lol....I do alright...and im a fat ugly old dude

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By *ockosaurusMan
over a year ago

Warwick

It's not impossible as those woman are meeting people.

Just don't expect anything, be respectful and ensure your profile sells you and your messages are individual to those you send them to.

If you put in effort, you will get responses.

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By *eardybobMan
over a year ago

the Goldilocks Zone

"The first thing to do is drop the myth that it is impossible for single guys to meet. As soon as you start thinking this way you will naturally look for the evidence that supports this theory.

^ this!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Heres the thing, it's not a numbers game. Messages aren't lottery tickets.

But fab is something different again to tinder etc.

On fab, people often describe exactly what they are looking for. Much more than tinder etc.

So our job is to find those we match really well with and show them that.

Sure, this can really reduce the numbers potential meets by a lot. But the truth is, all those you filter out, were never going to meet you.

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By *olarbear73Man
over a year ago

Glasgow

I’m not sure I agree with your OP. I’ve seen plenty of single guys, myself included, have plenty of success.

Having a decent profile with decent pics and having a decent attitude and sense of humour, you will be just as successful

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’m not sure I agree with your OP. I’ve seen plenty of single guys, myself included, have plenty of success.

Having a decent profile with decent pics and having a decent attitude and sense of humour, you will be just as successful

"
Definitely agree with this chap

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was a single guy on here then met Danish and have lived happily ever after

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By *arker secrets 321Man
over a year ago

West Bromwich

Give it time m8

Get involved in forums great place 2 get noticed.

Maybe ad few more pics on ur profile

Av fun and don't take it 2 heart if u don't always get reply x

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

If I can get meets then any guy can.

My tip - don't try too hard.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some really good tips for a relative newbie . Thanks .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 14/10/21 09:37:32]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The problem you are having is that there are many ‘single’ guys on here who have no idea what this life is. They view this site as a sex site. And are shocked when they are rejected. But still complain and continue to act in that manner.

As a swingle chap I have been here for a long time.

Participate in the forums. Message politely. If a profile has the no single guy filter move on. It may be temporary to limit their overflowing inbox.

Your profile is a good starter for 10 but flesh it out with more of you, what you are looking for. Add more pictures - with decorum.

Finally, you have only been here 2 weeks. Fab isn’t the way in really. It’s a vehicle for keeping in touch. It takes time to get into this world and make friends. Attend a local club or better still find a social. These are great ways to get your personality across and we all know pictures are only as good as the photographer and most of us are better in the flesh.

Stick with it though OP if it’s a lifestyle you want to experience it will happen.

Hope this helps.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yep your profile looks fine. Handsome enough. Few more pictures would help. You’re 5’7 which wouldn’t be an issue for me or shouldn’t be for any other woman that’s 5’5 and under BUT there’s a lot of heightists on here. *Some* women have this notion that guys have gotta be 6ft or over.

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By *esthetic21Man
over a year ago

Birmingham/Bristol

Just be yourself dint go jumping through hoops for people on here 99% of them don't appreciate it anyway. The right person will come along

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I suggest going to a social or club then because that’s where you will meet swingers face to face…

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By *den-Valley-coupleCouple
over a year ago

Cumbria

To break into the lifestyle really should go to clubs.

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By *ebjonnsonMan
over a year ago

Maldon

I’ve done quite well over the years. Took time and a few club visits, also helped that I had a lovely secluded apartment at the time. It was a real refuge for some lovely women that just wanted an uncomplicated escape from the drudgery of daily life. Miss those days and really just lurk and occasionally comment here in the forum now.

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By *hrough the looking gla55Couple
over a year ago

Epsom

Best advice for us personally is to read and understand a profile .. as a single guy it's always going to be tough because to be honest there a re a minority of guys that completely ruin it for the good ones ... We've had messages asking to " rent her" out .. antagonist attacking me in a bid to win her over somehow ?? .. if you message then try and showcase yourself and not make it about your wants and needs ..most of the good guys we've spoken to have interested us with an off the wall kinda message ..good luck in your search

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By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

Think of your profile as a shop window...Does it entice women to want to see/know more?

My advice for what it's worth is get yourself to some clubs or socials, they are a great way to meet people. Good luck OP x

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By *good-being-badMan
over a year ago

mis-types and auto corrects leads cock leeds

You say youre comfortable in person.. get out from behind the keyboard, go to a club, go to a social, effort in rewards out.

or keep doing what youre doing and see if things change, einstein suggested that was a definition of insanity though

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

"Think of your profile as a shop window...Does it entice women to want to see/know more?

My advice for what it's worth is get yourself to some clubs or socials, they are a great way to meet people. Good luck OP x"

I tried that - the windows steamed up.

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By *inglerubixMan
over a year ago

Huddersfield

Stick at it mate, don’t take it to heart your time will come.

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By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

"Think of your profile as a shop window...Does it entice women to want to see/know more?

My advice for what it's worth is get yourself to some clubs or socials, they are a great way to meet people. Good luck OP x

I tried that - the windows steamed up.

I had too many licking mine

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There is a MASSIVE issue in trying to stand out from the crowd as it becomes almost like CV writing and you become disingenuous. If you get challenged about a belief that you've aligned to another profile and it's not a value you hold true, people will see through it and you won't get anywhere.

Basically, be yourself and only message those that are compatible, not just the stunners or the 'cum sluts' , lol.

You're a good looking dude and I'm sure you're a nice guy, so stick with that

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By *eyond PurityCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

"I’m naturally comfortable “in person” I think that’s where I stand out, I guess I’ve gotta get used to “text” style start ups"

You only have one pic on your profile. Your profile text is generic - nothing jumps out and makes you stand out from the thousands of other guys.

Your profile is your opportunity to sell yourself. Do you think you are selling yourself to the best of your ability? If not, then change it so it does.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 14/10/21 11:08:00]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Living proof here that they do (stand a chance), OP. Stay positive and write well thought out messages. Also remember that you won't be for everyone and vice versa. And the last piece of advice ... don't be an arse.

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

"Think of your profile as a shop window...Does it entice women to want to see/know more?

My advice for what it's worth is get yourself to some clubs or socials, they are a great way to meet people. Good luck OP x

I tried that - the windows steamed up.

I had too many licking mine

And what about the windows?

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By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

"Think of your profile as a shop window...Does it entice women to want to see/know more?

My advice for what it's worth is get yourself to some clubs or socials, they are a great way to meet people. Good luck OP x

I tried that - the windows steamed up.

I had too many licking mine

And what about the windows?

They have so much dust and cobwebs on them now

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 14/10/21 11:12:37]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People aren't as open minded as they let on, then there is the jumping through hoops to get even a response, if it's not insta deleted.

I've been on here 2-3 years and had 2 meets...2

so saying "make an effort" isn't worth whatever end of the stick you grab.

You message people and make an effort and you still get ignored, you switch it up by trying different ways to relate and give them "more than a hi, how are you?"...and it fizzles out.

You put paragraphs, they go..."yeah I'm alright, you?"

This place can really rub you the wrong way as a solo guy. And no I don't want to go to clubs, I'm a 1on1.

I dunno, needed to get that out

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

"Think of your profile as a shop window...Does it entice women to want to see/know more?

My advice for what it's worth is get yourself to some clubs or socials, they are a great way to meet people. Good luck OP x

I tried that - the windows steamed up.

I had too many licking mine

And what about the windows?

They have so much dust and cobwebs on them now

Chunky's window cleaning services are available.

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By *onathan14Man
over a year ago

Liverpool

I think there's a bit of self promotion here, " look at me"

I'm single, I've done ok oh here over the years when I'm actively looking. I'm friendly but definitely not the best looking guy on here.

Sometimes it's just about making a lot of noise and being friendly.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Patience and effort HAH

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By *ickDastardlyMan
over a year ago

North East

You have to put yourself out there and you have to comfortable with rejection.

It is hard as single man to gain traction, but if its the lifestyle you are interested in, not just getting your rocks off, it'll come.

I'd recommend trying a club/social. Meet people, talk to people. Put yourself out there.

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By *aunchy RaccoonsCouple
over a year ago

Exeter

You've only been on here for 2 weeks so you've obviously expected it to be something like T1nder or Fish and fab is completely different.

Too many people have joined thinking it's a tap for sex mad people (well...it is a bit) and get surprised when they don't get instant results. Swinging isn't quite the same as a Saturday night out on the pull!

We'd say get working on your profile to try and stand out because as it is it's no different than thousands of single guys on here.

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By *izzy.Woman
over a year ago

Stoke area

"People aren't as open minded as they let on, then there is the jumping through hoops to get even a response, if it's not insta deleted.

I've been on here 2-3 years and had 2 meets...2

so saying "make an effort" isn't worth whatever end of the stick you grab.

You message people and make an effort and you still get ignored, you switch it up by trying different ways to relate and give them "more than a hi, how are you?"...and it fizzles out.

You put paragraphs, they go..."yeah I'm alright, you?"

This place can really rub you the wrong way as a solo guy. And no I don't want to go to clubs, I'm a 1on1.

I dunno, needed to get that out

Can I just point out that at a club you get to meet 40, 60 or 100 + new people in one evening, and then if you hit it off, you can head for a private room or swap details to meet up another time.

It's not an orgy with a pile of bodies. ( well not always

). But meeting that many face to face is a lot easier than sending out loads of messages.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Think of your profile as a shop window...Does it entice women to want to see/know more?

My advice for what it's worth is get yourself to some clubs or socials, they are a great way to meet people. Good luck OP x

I tried that - the windows steamed up.

I had too many licking mine

Windowlene is an aphrodisiac

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Think of your profile as a shop window...Does it entice women to want to see/know more?

My advice for what it's worth is get yourself to some clubs or socials, they are a great way to meet people. Good luck OP x

I tried that - the windows steamed up.

I had too many licking mine

And what about the windows?

They have so much dust and cobwebs on them now

I'll be over in ten!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"People aren't as open minded as they let on, then there is the jumping through hoops to get even a response, if it's not insta deleted.

I've been on here 2-3 years and had 2 meets...2

so saying "make an effort" isn't worth whatever end of the stick you grab.

You message people and make an effort and you still get ignored, you switch it up by trying different ways to relate and give them "more than a hi, how are you?"...and it fizzles out.

You put paragraphs, they go..."yeah I'm alright, you?"

This place can really rub you the wrong way as a solo guy. And no I don't want to go to clubs, I'm a 1on1.

I dunno, needed to get that out

Can I just point out that at a club you get to meet 40, 60 or 100 + new people in one evening, and then if you hit it off, you can head for a private room or swap details to meet up another time.

It's not an orgy with a pile of bodies. ( well not always

). But meeting that many faces to face is a lot easier than sending out loads of messages. "

Yeah, this is spot on. Most of my meets on this profile and my previous one occurred through clubs, where people can talk to me, engage and see that I am not an unadulterated sociopath and vice versa.

The club isn't swimming with model good looks and plastic bodies, it is just a bunch of ordinary people looking to socialise primarily, and hook up secondary (in the most part)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just try and engage be genuine original and decent

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 14/10/21 12:29:57]

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By *ust PeachyWoman
over a year ago

Prestonish

Ok - I need to get my arse in the shower - but my initial observation is that you’ve put just as much effort into this OP as you have into your profile - and yet this will be seen by a fraction of the site.

I’d go back and post a LOT more pictures (ones that have taken some thought - not just random pics of your penis from every angle).

Your profile content - whilst definitely not the worst I’ve seen - doesn’t say a lot.

For single guys I’d suggest three paragraphs.

The first should tell people a little about you.

The second should say what you’re looking for.

The third should say what you offer in return.

Check for spelling and grammar mistakes and add a little humour if possible.

When you have a profile you’re happy with don’t just rely on messages alone.

If you’re brave enough and there are some local to you - get to a few clubs and socials.

The forums and chat rooms(though I don’t use them) are a good way to start a rapport with people too.

Good luck

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Single guys stand every chance, if they up their game.

Target the right people. Use the site to greatest potential, including having great profiles that sell them well, using fab socials to get to know others in person. Plus going to swinging clubs.

Have you helped others or just wanted to take?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Patience and effort HAH"

I’m not sure what the hah is because it’s exactly that patience and effort

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By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

"Think of your profile as a shop window...Does it entice women to want to see/know more?

My advice for what it's worth is get yourself to some clubs or socials, they are a great way to meet people. Good luck OP x

I tried that - the windows steamed up.

I had too many licking mine

And what about the windows?

They have so much dust and cobwebs on them now

I'll be over in ten!"

Thats been a long 10 mins

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Plenty of single guys are successful on here which shows the site works.

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By *wingsnroundabouts82Couple
over a year ago

Fucksville

Patience and humour. End of.

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By *tanXXXMan
over a year ago

North east

4 years and not a meet plus 51 zero chance

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think a lot of guys have too many expectations. Also most women can smell bullshit from a mile away, so just be yourself, be honest and take it from there.

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By *wingsnroundabouts82Couple
over a year ago

Fucksville

"4 years and not a meet plus 51 zero chance"

You're profile is more bare than my lady bits lol x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"4 years and not a meet plus 51 zero chance"

Change your profile up a little…. Just a suggestion!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"4 years and not a meet plus 51 zero chance"

Your profile isn't one to leave anyone wanting to learn more, though.

It's like 'fill this in later' is either a catfish or a prostitute

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By *good-being-badMan
over a year ago

mis-types and auto corrects leads cock leeds

"4 years and not a meet plus 51 zero chance"

With such a pessimistic attitude you'd likely spill the half empty glass.

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By *ewrocksWoman
over a year ago

button moon

Some of us don't get anywhere near that volume of messages, filters can be very effective.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Read there profile and mention something that shows you've read it.

Try and include something funny.

Finally add a pic.

I've been on here for close to 3 months and not even had a social,things take time.

Be patient and polite.

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

"Patience and humour. End of. "

Taxi to Dudley booked for next month.

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By *rcool67Man
over a year ago

London

Don't rely too much on messaging women on here. Your best bet is to go out to clubs and parties and socialise and you will be amazed at how much fun you will have. Enjoy

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By *tephTV67TV/TS
over a year ago

Cheshire

The swinging lifestyle didn’t always have the internet. It would have house parties and I’m guessing some clubs or events in public spaces. So this is just one area (the website) for you to dip your toes in.

However it’s also the easiest, you don’t even have to get up off your sofa to try and meet others within the lifestyle. Due to that the site will have different levels of investment for some on here.

Those that go to clubs or parties it’s a site to make new connections and plan future fun in the real world.

But for the majority, it’ll be a place to send or receive endless messages that may or may not be answered.

Clubs are no guarantee of anything but one thing, those that attend got off the sofa.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've sent generic messages, I've sent tailored messages according to profiles, I've even included words that are requested in the subject line and 9 out of 10 times, messages don't even get read.

If you're lucky enough to get a reply, more often than not, you'll receive a one worded reply. I just block these members.

Funny old world...

This . It's really hurtful. People are cowards.

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By *rad670Man
over a year ago

South Lakes

The statement of single men don't stand a chance is a fail from the start in attitude, think smart, use the forums to figure what is liked and what is hated, be different, put more than a sentence together each time you send a message. You only get out what you put in, positive attitude goes a long way too.

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By *iscean_dreamMan
over a year ago

Llanelli

It's not impossible to get meets as a single guy here, I've had meets and a relationship through this site.

You just have to be patient, communicate and talk about things other than just sex and eventually you will get talking to someone that wants to meet.

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By *dalisqueWoman
over a year ago

land of make believe

The people I enjoy speaking to the most and want to meet are ones from the forums even though I'm not a prolific poster, I join in a little,mainly I am a lurker but that is a confidence thing.

Focus on making friends and having fun,there are some amazing people on here

Enjoy xx

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