FabSwingers.com forum: Surrogacy

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Ladies

Would you ever become a surrogate for a friend if they needed it? If so why? Also if not why? Interested to hear both sides.

I knew of a lady who did it for her best friend and I think it’s amazing. I am struggling with fertility and would definitely consider using a surrogate if the right one was found.

Or would you consider using the services of a surrogate yourself? I watched an amazing documentary about it recently. Sadly there’s those who exploit people and charge stupid amounts. It’s sad really.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't think it's something I could do but I fully admire people who are able to do this.

I saw a post from a lady a little while ago on the forums saying she had done this and I was so full of admiration for her.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I don't think it's something I could do but I fully admire people who are able to do this.

I saw a post from a lady a little while ago on the forums saying she had done this and I was so full of admiration for her. "

It takes a very special person. I can’t imagine doing it myself (I can’t anyway) but those who do are incredible it’s so selfless. I think I’d be more keen to use my own egg if possible so the baby was biologically related to me else I’d worry my child might want to know her etc. Its a minefield.

I’ve just re started my own fertility journey after a long time of grief.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

I wouldn't - I don't think my gynaecological health would make me an appropriate candidate. But I would be as supportive as I could in any other way.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I wouldn't - I don't think my gynaecological health would make me an appropriate candidate. But I would be as supportive as I could in any other way."

Ditto. Unfortunately I battle PCOS and endometriosis hence wondering if surrogacy is an option. Not giving up yet.

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By *nigmatic_AngelWoman
over a year ago

The place where fairies live

"I wouldn't - I don't think my gynaecological health would make me an appropriate candidate. But I would be as supportive as I could in any other way."

I can't.. Well I couldn't.

I have 2 children and nearly died at both births so was told to have no more ...

. Had a hysterectomy now so no chance anyway. X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have looked into this a little bit and spoken to my husband about it.

I absolutely would love to be a surrogate for someone (GS not TS) however my husband can't give me his 100% support which is absolutely fine. He doesn't know what feelings he'd have towards "the bump" even though it's not our baby. I love babies, but I know my body would only be an incubator for someone else's life. I can detach myself from those emotions and feelings.

I hope maybe in the future he'd come round to the idea.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Absolutely! it's the main reason my husband got a vasectomy instead of me going down the sterilisation route.

If and When my best friend wants to start a family, I'd be a surrogate for him and his husband.

And to be honest, if anyone in my family or friends had the heartache of not being able to carry themselves, I would do it for them.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I have looked into this a little bit and spoken to my husband about it.

I hope maybe in the future he'd come round to the idea."

Oh bless that’s so hard , I get his reservations. It’s the most beautiful gift you can give a family. I hope he comes round too because it’s rare to find someone who has the mindset you do and you could change someone’s life. What an Angel.

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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago

London

I’d love to be able to gift someone my body in that way, yes.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Absolutely! it's the main reason my husband got a vasectomy instead of me going down the sterilisation route.

If and When my best friend wants to start a family, I'd be a surrogate for him and his husband.

And to be honest, if anyone in my family or friends had the heartache of not being able to carry themselves, I would do it for them.

How beautiful. That’s amazing.

. You’re a special person. X

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I think if I could have my own children first and was definitely done with having my own then I might consider it but sadly as mentioned previously I can’t

but I’d fully support anyone in their choice to do it. It’s a gift as lots of us ladies have said.

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By *ames-77Man
over a year ago

milton keynes

I know it's not on topic but Huge respect for bone marrow donors.. not asking anyone if they are or Would that should be private.. these subjects are lovely though some amazing people in the world

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I know it's not on topic but Huge respect for bone marrow donors.. not asking anyone if they are or Would that should be private.. these subjects are lovely though some amazing people in the world "

I registered as bone marrow and stem cell donor for delete blood cancer, never got a call but sadly had to come off the donor list due to my own Ill health, else I’d have happily done it. I’ve seen what a difference it can make.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldent but only because I almost died giving birth to both my children, I was told after the first I shouldent have any more so feel like I've pushed my body enough. If I was all healthy and whatnot then I'd consider doing it for somone I loved but I don't think I could do it for a stranger, it's a lot to sacrafice for somone

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By *luebell888Woman
over a year ago

Glasgowish

I offered to be a surrogate for my friend. She was a childrens nurse and loved children but her cancer treatment had left her unable to have any. My partner was not happy with me as he thought he should have a say in this. I would have done anything for my lovely friend but sadly her cancer returned and she died at aged 32.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would have liked to have fostered or adopted, but the opportunity didn't arise

I might have considered surrogacy for a friend if I'd been asked (and it wasn't my egg) (I've no idea if i could even get pregnant)

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By *ames-77Man
over a year ago

milton keynes

"I know it's not on topic but Huge respect for bone marrow donors.. not asking anyone if they are or Would that should be private.. these subjects are lovely though some amazing people in the world

There are a lot of specifications involved the person has to be ?? well and healthy.. it's not for everyone it's not easy but full respect to those who can and are

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I offered to be a surrogate for my friend. She was a childrens nurse and loved children but her cancer treatment had left her unable to have any. My partner was not happy with me as he thought he should have a say in this. I would have done anything for my lovely friend but sadly her cancer returned and she died at aged 32. "

So sorry for your loss. What a lovely friend you were though I’m sure she’d have been grateful just for your kind offer. Xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I wouldn't - I don't think my gynaecological health would make me an appropriate candidate. But I would be as supportive as I could in any other way.

Ditto. Unfortunately I battle PCOS and endometriosis hence wondering if surrogacy is an option. Not giving up yet.

I have Endo if you wanted someone to talk to. I don't have PCOS or fertility issues but I know how isolating Endo is. Noone truly understands unless they have the diagnosis infront of them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Personally I would not Be a surrogate and there are many reasons for that.

I would support any of my friends having fertility issues in any way possible but giving them a baby is not a gift I could give.

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

A few years back I'd have considered surrogacy for one of my friends.

Now I just don't think my body would handle it. I was terribly unwell when I had my son but, I'd have put myself through it again for my friend up until recently.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I wouldn't - I don't think my gynaecological health would make me an appropriate candidate. But I would be as supportive as I could in any other way.

Ditto. Unfortunately I battle PCOS and endometriosis hence wondering if surrogacy is an option. Not giving up yet.

I have Endo if you wanted someone to talk to. I don't have PCOS or fertility issues but I know how isolating Endo is. Noone truly understands unless they have the diagnosis infront of them. "

Thank you that’s so nice of you. I’m so lucky in that my endometriosis is so mild it’s just my peritoneum that’s affected the PCOS is the bitch which is causing all my trouble. I’ve been in and out of hospital so many times with bleeding and pain. You’re right no one gets it. Not even doctors. Hideous illness xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Personally I would not Be a surrogate and there are many reasons for that.

I would support any of my friends having fertility issues in any way possible but giving them a baby is not a gift I could give. "

That’s understandable and fair enough. It’s a huge choice to make. I think I’d be too emotionally attached that would be my issue x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Personally I would not Be a surrogate and there are many reasons for that.

I would support any of my friends having fertility issues in any way possible but giving them a baby is not a gift I could give.

That’s understandable and fair enough. It’s a huge choice to make. I think I’d be too emotionally attached that would be my issue x "

I think there are just so many issues to consider particularly the legal issue and I would be terrified that I couldn't give the baby up.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know everyone's health is unique. So I'm not saying yours is the same as mine. I don't have endometriosis. But I do have PCOS after a lot of tests and scans I was told chances were slim. 3 years later I had my first and 2 years later I had my 2nd.

And I honestly think contraception made my PCOS a lot worse.

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By *indergirlWoman
over a year ago

somewhere, someplace

I can't carry babies to term so as much I would love to for someone I care about I wouldn't want to risk it x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I know everyone's health is unique. So I'm not saying yours is the same as mine. I don't have endometriosis. But I do have PCOS after a lot of tests and scans I was told chances were slim. 3 years later I had my first and 2 years later I had my 2nd.

And I honestly think contraception made my PCOS a lot worse. "

Yeah the use of the pill can actually lead to PCOS. I’ve just been started on metformin.

I’m having bleeds but every 31-33 days so irregular and heavy and not ovulating. All very annoying. It’s been a battle for years but I’m not giving up hope x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ladies

Would you ever become a surrogate for a friend if they needed it? If so why? Also if not why? Interested to hear both sides.

I knew of a lady who did it for her best friend and I think it’s amazing. I am struggling with fertility and would definitely consider using a surrogate if the right one was found.

If i had a sister I would. I have had very straight forward pregnancies and births and recovery so I'd be a good candidate. Best friend possibly. Just one I'd trust that it wouldn't put a shadow over any future interactions. I'm 41 now so I guess not exactly a first choice but I think it is amazing and selfless thing to do

. I have watched a documentary about exploitation of women for this purpose and it was really daunting.

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By *indergirlWoman
over a year ago

somewhere, someplace

"I wouldn't - I don't think my gynaecological health would make me an appropriate candidate. But I would be as supportive as I could in any other way.

Ditto. Unfortunately I battle PCOS and endometriosis hence wondering if surrogacy is an option. Not giving up yet.

I have Endo if you wanted someone to talk to. I don't have PCOS or fertility issues but I know how isolating Endo is. Noone truly understands unless they have the diagnosis infront of them.

Don't give up hope, I was fortunate to have all three pregnancies without fertility treatment per se, I was placed on Metformin to regulate everything and balance my t levels and such. Do your research and give them the evidence of what can help, a lot of doctors aren't up to speed with the condition and I found a lot of things online from America that helped me push my diagnosis and help x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And I honestly think contraception made my PCOS a lot worse.

Yeah the use of the pill can actually lead to PCOS. I’ve just been started on metformin.

I’m having bleeds but every 31-33 days so irregular and heavy and not ovulating. All very annoying. It’s been a battle for years but I’m not giving up hope x"

Sending the hope and love to you!! I hope Metformin works for you xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd definitely do it if I wasn't using my own egg but I can't have any more now as I had three traumatic cesareans so I got sterilised after the last one.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Awwh you’re all amazing women.

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By *ames-77Man
over a year ago

milton keynes

What about the couples where the woman is all good but the fella is firing blanks.. do you reckon they'd ever ask someone they know like a friend.. serious question by the way

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By *luebell888Woman
over a year ago

Glasgowish

"What about the couples where the woman is all good but the fella is firing blanks.. do you reckon they'd ever ask someone they know like a friend.. serious question by the way "

I would like to think this happens

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What about the couples where the woman is all good but the fella is firing blanks.. do you reckon they'd ever ask someone they know like a friend.. serious question by the way "

This does happen and I know people that have used a friend's sperm mainly lesbian couples.

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By *ames-77Man
over a year ago

milton keynes

"What about the couples where the woman is all good but the fella is firing blanks.. do you reckon they'd ever ask someone they know like a friend.. serious question by the way

This does happen and I know people that have used a friend's sperm mainly lesbian couples. "

Fair play to him for stepping up

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What about the couples where the woman is all good but the fella is firing blanks.. do you reckon they'd ever ask someone they know like a friend.. serious question by the way

This does happen and I know people that have used a friend's sperm mainly lesbian couples.

Fair play to him for stepping up

I know of at least 4 men that have done this either people I know personally or friends of friends. The situations and whether there is contact after are all very different but they all seem to have worked out very well.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

I would have said yes some years ago, but with the state my last pregnancy left me in, it's unfortunately a no from me now. I'd donate an egg or three to a friend in need, if they wanted them. A bit over-ripe now, but probably still functional.

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

Why would you use a friend ? I think I would rather not know the mother and keep it purely business

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd be a surrogate if I hadn't been so ill during pregnancy. My son was conceived with donor sperm so I owe a lot to the altruistic donor, and if I could help friends in anyway I would.

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By *urls and DressesWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere near here

I was a surrogate for my best friends only a few months ago, I think someone mentioned above they’d seen me post.

It’s an amazing journey to be on but I completely understand how it isn’t for everyone. I was unsure how I’d feel after birth and got a support network set up around me. But in reality I didn’t need it. I was just extreme babysitting. The baby never felt like my baby and still doesn’t now despite seeing them regularly, just my best friend’s baby and I’m an awesome Aunty.

And questions I’m more than happy to answer

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By *luebell888Woman
over a year ago

Glasgowish

"I was a surrogate for my best friends only a few months ago, I think someone mentioned above they’d seen me post.

And questions I’m more than happy to answer"

That is wonderful. We'll done to you.x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I was a surrogate for my best friends only a few months ago, I think someone mentioned above they’d seen me post.

And questions I’m more than happy to answer"

Love this

wish I had a best friend like you.

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By *urls and DressesWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere near here

To add, exploiting is rare here in the uk, surrogates can only legally claim for expenses and this is looked at by courts when processing for the parental order. Countries where surrogate can earn from it like the US exploitation is definitely a thing

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By *urls and DressesWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere near here

"I was a surrogate for my best friends only a few months ago, I think someone mentioned above they’d seen me post.

And questions I’m more than happy to answer

Love this

wish I had a best friend like you. "

Thank you. I could bare the thought of watching them meet a surrogate and go through it all when my body does pregnancy and birth well. It did take 18+ months of discussion though, but it was something that was on my mind for a few years before knowing they’d one day want a family

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By *ittleMissCaliWoman
over a year ago

trouble most likely, or creating it :)

"Ladies

Would you ever become a surrogate for a friend if they needed it? If so why? Also if not why? Interested to hear both sides.

I knew of a lady who did it for her best friend and I think it’s amazing. I am struggling with fertility and would definitely consider using a surrogate if the right one was found.

"
I couldn't but had considered it before. I was told if I got pregnant again it would be a risk of dying. So hence I could not now.. but yes I'd have loved to have done so as I loved being pregnant x

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