FabSwingers.com forum: My theory on abusive messages.

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I’ve been here 11 years now, that’s quite a long stint and more than enough time and experience to come to this conclusion. As I’m a woman this is based on anyone from men towards women. Also just to add that in 11 years I’ve never had abuse in response to a no thank you message, now that’s not down to just good luck. So, my theory…

Guy starts off looking at pictures and reading the profiles of women he’s attracted to and interested in. Guy sends thoughtful messages tailored to that individuals profile.

Guy gets his message deleted or left on read or told no thank you. Guy does this multiple times, same response or lack of response.

Guy moves onto women who weren’t particularly his first choice but hey it’s just a fuck so messages those women, again no luck. So that’s lots of time constructing good messages, lots of rejection, but frustration is creeping in now. Messages get a bit crapper, maybe a cut and paste job. Guy starts messaging women who in everyday real life situations but would be good for a fuck. Ignored, messages deleted, told not their type. That’s when the old ego gets a knock and the abuse starts, the name calling, the offensive shit.

So there we are.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sounds about right, though until I found the 'block single males' button, I was getting abuse from single males who 'would suck me off for nothing in return' despite stipulating that this does not interest me in my profile.

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

I've defo been on the "downgrade" list, I've had plenty.

I've had more than a few abusive ones as the first contact

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I did a similar post last week about men with frail egos, I mean I even had some guy get aggressive and very shouty on the tube because I didn’t reciprocate his advances and got called a bitch and not that pretty anyway. In person.

I can sort of deal with it online a bit better but in person is just plain uncomfortable and scary sometimes …

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some just gotta learn not to take it so personally I'm the male half of a couples profiles 90% is men want my Mrs and females only want the Mrs still here vibing though haha

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By *aiseiMan
over a year ago

Birmingham

That could cover off a number of the instances reported, but I suspect quite a few have shortcut that process because they are simply angry/entitled/desperate assholes.

Given some of the replies people have cited, the venom behind them speaks to fundamental character flaw(s).

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By *lex46TV/TS
over a year ago

Near Wells

You forgot the final stage.

After having no joy with a lady he would normally ignore, he tries a T girl. After all a blow Job is a blow Job especially if you close your eyes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I agree it's probably an accumulation of rejection for some, plus keyboard warrioring wider issues and frustrations.

I suspect the breaking point varies and some will fly off at the first rejection.

I wonder if "no thanks" causes more issues than no replies... At least to the women in question ... I dunno. I struggle to empathize here ... Just seems such an alien response

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By *r TriomanMan
over a year ago

Chippenham Malmesbury area

"....Guy starts messaging women who in everyday real life situations but would be good for a fuck. Ignored, messages deleted, told not their type. That’s when the old ego gets a knock and the abuse starts... "

I never get to this stage as my main strategy for meeting people is by going to clubs (which works really well for me) but I do understand how sexual frustration can drive people to behave out of character (which is a big part of why I'm on Fab).

Incidentally OP, you said that you haven't received any abusive messages and that it wasn't down to luck; what is it that you do to avoid such unpleasantness?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There is no onestandard on here as evrryone is different. i personally find it annoying to construct a decent message that fits the requirements of the profile I'm looking at only to be ignored. I know the site says no response is not rude but i disagree , its bloody rude.

One other problems is that there is no control over the quality of profiles we need to have minimum standards so we are not misled by profiles with little content or obviously fake.

I realise that this requires more staff and suggest this could be paid for by giving non supporters very little access. Restricted messages, not allowed to block there are too many free loaders on here.

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By *r TriomanMan
over a year ago

Chippenham Malmesbury area

And OP, on a totally unrelated subject, I think your sister's wrong, if that was a little man holding your boobs, he'd have a smile on his face

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By *ockosaurusMan
over a year ago

Warwick

Sounds like.

Which is why I find it odd so many dislike the wink function.

It's a quick and easy way if seeing if both parties are interested in the profiles before the thought and effort goes into that initial message (which otherwise would be a lot of wasted effort)

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

Incidentally OP, you said that you haven't received any abusive messages and that it wasn't down to luck; what is it that you do to avoid such unpleasantness?"

She's in the first choice bracket so not viewed as a downgrade worthy of a "you're a fat ugly bitch anyway" response. They wanna fuck HER, whereas with the ones on the tail end of their lists, they don't want to fuck the person, they just want to fuck a vag.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I get the theory, still, nobody is entitled to anything in life, money, sex, happiness, whatever. We all have to work for what we have..unless of course one is extremely lucky.

I've had to work had for the things I have, if I fail I try again. Its up to me to get what I want. Blaming/abusing other people because I can't get what I want is a defeatist attitude.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't think abuse is ever good really but I can see how folk could get frusrtated. Coming on here could be because that person doesn't really have confidence and maybe a way to develop that. Although knowing it's not like going shopping, maybe they would think they would at least get some interest. I guess despite nice messages and not being a dick if nothing really happens or they get ignored etc, it could kinda knco them back.

I've seen a few posts on the forum about this and some answers aren't really that supportive.

No excuse for the abuse though

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By *r Discreet 75Man
over a year ago

LIVERPOOL

I haven't been on here long I've sent plenty of messages and not received many in return but I'd never give abuse out ... I'm an adult and know I'm either not their type or they've got so many messages that they haven't even read the message ... my philosophy is for every 1000 that don't want to there will be one that does

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

BTW, I've only had one abusive message.

I was called a c*** because I viewed his profile but didn't reply.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Only problem with this theory is it suggests that those who get abusive messages are (at least in the minds of abusive men) not very attractive and while the language of such messages may be unnecessary, the sentiment is basically true.

It also assumes that the reason you haven't had such a message is that you are obviously a man's first choice ....

That's a mighty fine pair of assumptions there Annie.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"BTW, I've only had one abusive message.

I was called a c*** because I viewed his profile but didn't reply. "

I enjoy the abuse its mainly bruised egos about the age gap and me being a chunky boy

they still get a polite response haha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We got called racist and told to die by someone with multiple verifications (so he mustn’t be rejected that much) just for saying they weren’t our type. I’m (Mr) mixed race so the racism bit was laughable but no need to tell us to die. Although your theory might hold some weight I think some people are just arse holes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We got called racist and told to die by someone with multiple verifications (so he mustn’t be rejected that much) just for saying they weren’t our type. I’m (Mr) mixed race so the racism bit was laughable but no need to tell us to die. Although your theory might hold some weight I think some people are just arse holes"

Fucking hell, that's a strong response. I think all theories are probably correct. In your case you've hit the nail on the head too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Everyone knows this site is full of awful men,if the good looking woman of fab don't want awful men messaging them then set filters and do your own search...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've only had one abusive mail from a young couple a while ago - after i said 'thanks, but you are too young for me' to a mail saying the standard, omg you are so sexy, look amazing etc blah blah... The reply was along the lines of we didn't want to meet you anyway, you are an old ugly hag

And then they blocked me. Hilarious

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've only had one abusive mail from a young couple a while ago - after i said 'thanks, but you are too young for me' to a mail saying the standard, omg you are so sexy, look amazing etc blah blah... The reply was along the lines of we didn't want to meet you anyway, you are an old ugly hag

And then they blocked me. Hilarious

51 isn't old...........

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By *an4funMan
over a year ago

london

According to the op's theory, you fall into the lower categories of good looks. Her theory states that the reason she has never received an abusive response is because she places herself at the very top

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By *hroatQueen_CATV/TS
over a year ago

Carlisle

Some guys don't like the word no! You are allowed to say no and still be polite. Some can be damn right nasty and rude! Maybe they have an entitled big ego problem or something? I've had one guy who was horrendous and what he said was sick. To be fair you can say no that goes for both men and women!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And then they blocked me. Hilarious

51 isn't old...........

Haha cheeky.. I nearly took the bait

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fucking hell, that's a strong response. I think all theories are probably correct. In your case you've hit the nail on the head too "

For balance, we always try to reply even if it’s a polite no thank you and can probably count on one hand the amount of abuse we have received so the majority on here are decent human beings.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And then they blocked me. Hilarious

51 isn't old...........

Haha cheeky.. I nearly took the bait

Bait?...moi?....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Best not to fuel the abusers ego by giving them the time of day. Is good in a way since it reveals the true nature of an individuals character (near miss as they say)...

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By *eyond PurityCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

I think it’s also people’s expectations when they join the site. Some join instantly thinking that everyone is on here to meet them for sex. The longer they message and get the same rejections the shorter their fuse.

We only get the odd abusive message and I’d say it’s more to do with peoples skewered perceptions of what they think the site is for.

We also find that me responding to messages pretty much stops any nasty responses. Seems people only want to get nasty if getting rejected by the female

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Best not to fuel the abusers ego by giving them the time of day. Is good in a way since it reveals the true nature of an individuals character (near miss as they say)..."

But but but what if you work nights and its a very slow night at work and you get bored

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There is no onestandard on here as evrryone is different. i personally find it annoying to construct a decent message that fits the requirements of the profile I'm looking at only to be ignored. I know the site says no response is not rude but i disagree , its bloody rude.

One other problems is that there is no control over the quality of profiles we need to have minimum standards so we are not misled by profiles with little content or obviously fake.

Turn it around. I think you are rude, expecting women to spend their time replying to people they aren’t interested in, instead off said women spending their time as they wish. It’s very entitled.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

One other problems is that there is no control over the quality of profiles we need to have minimum standards so we are not misled by profiles with little content or obviously fake.

*of

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I didn’t read it like that. I thought she meant they’d been rejected so much that their ego couldn’t take it and end up sending abuse.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Abusive messages are so unnecessary

Personally I think it is mainly insecurity,and men thinking you are there just for them

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By *ilfCrumpet9Man
over a year ago

Wirral

I have to date never been abusive or nasty to anyone on here or in normal life situations. I have had folk not reply back to a lengthy message and just delete or even blocked without reason. I suppose each one to their own reason for acting that way. I do sympathise with the lady's on here who can get totally swamped with messages must be frustrating, especially if you had to start answering to every single message received. I do get a lot of messages from blokes but I just resort to having a little chat letting them down easy and moving on.

Been on here for nearly a year had one meet but mostly rejected but hey ho tomorrow is another day.

Stay safe fabbers and be nice

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By *ynecplCouple
over a year ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

Sounds about right. You can feel the frustration in some guys messages.

We have never had abuse from a single guy when saying no thank you, think in some cases they are just pleased to get a reply. All abusive messages we get have been from couples and single females.

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By *indergirlWoman
over a year ago

somewhere, someplace

Well damn I must be one of the pity fuck searches then

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Annie - I think what you’ve said is very arrogant. Everyone has different taste, and we can’t all be attracted to the same.

You may think you’re more attractive than the other women, but that doesn’t mean you are in the eyes of everyone.

It’s not very kind to put others down either, or say they are lesser than you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I still don't get why moan about it on the forums? I would guess most people who use the forums are respectful when messaging?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sounds about right. You can feel the frustration in some guys messages.

We have never had abuse from a single guy when saying no thank you, think in some cases they are just pleased to get a reply. All abusive messages we get have been from couples and single females."

From a single female has it been the saying how much better they can please the female part of the couple then when you politely say there not what you are currently looking they hit you comments about looks and they could get better anyway?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Annie - I think what you’ve said is very arrogant. Everyone has different taste, and we can’t all be attracted to the same.

You may think you’re more attractive than the other women, but that doesn’t mean you are in the eyes of everyone.

It’s not very kind to put others down either, or say they are lesser than you. "

Attraction is in the eyes of thee beholders.

This mate of mine years ago at uni, good looking guy and I'm not gay but a handsome guy is just that. He fell for what I percived to be someone who was nowhere near par to him but they hit it off.

Women and men that talk about themseleves looking good are not to my taste. OP, re this comment I'm not referring to you as i don't know you and I'm sure you are stunning like the majority of people here but not me but my wife is.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I still don't get why moan about it on the forums? I would guess most people who use the forums are respectful when messaging?"

Maybe in the hope that someone who would send an abusive message sees this and thinks twice.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I still don't get why moan about it on the forums? I would guess most people who use the forums are respectful when messaging?

Maybe in the hope that someone who would send an abusive message sees this and thinks twice. "

It's helpful and comfortable to talk about things in a community where we're all experiencing the same things. Not moaning.

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

Annie, I kind of understand what you're coming from with men (some before the not all brigade appears) getting increasingly irritated send abusive messages - that I can agree with you on.

The ideas that

a) you're everyone's type/first choice

b) other women who receive abusive messages are just a fuck and thereby placing their value on your measurement of attractiveness

aren't accurate, valid and a bit victim blamey.

I've received two abusive messages from my time on Fab, we've been here a similar amount of time, and both times they were directly linked to forum posts. That's not because I'm a sexual goddess who's always first choice, it's down to my profile management.

It's a slightly inflated ego theory to have to be blunt.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I only get abuse when people want to meet instantly and I’m busy but I’ve only had it from couples. Usually late on a Friday to Saturday night…

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By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

wokingham

11 years to come up with a conclusion most can put together in 5 mins

Time well spent

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Well damn I must be one of the pity fuck searches then

Hardly! You're gorgeous x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ve only had one abusive message in the 11 months I’ve been on as a single female. I suppose that’s I was blessed up until a couple of days ago. I sent a polite no thanks and got a nasty message telling why even respond do I f…ing get off on rejecting people

Far from it

I dislike saying no thank you but we can’t just say yes to everyone

It made me not even want to open mail if the sender was on line (I did block him) doesn’t stop it feeling terrible though unfortunately.

Now I’m not sure if I should say anything anymore

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I only get abuse when people want to meet instantly and I’m busy but I’ve only had it from couples. Usually late on a Friday to Saturday night… "

'soz... I told BB you'd be busy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

One flaw in your theory... I haven't had an abusive message either

My theory is, they've found someone beautiful, sexy and just THEIR type.

They think they've ticked all the boxes they've described.

They get a little excited, fantasize a little.. maybe more.

They send a message, hopeful.

They get a reply!

'No thanks.'

Massive deflation, the only way they think they can regain upper hand in the situation is abuse.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"One flaw in your theory... I haven't had an abusive message either

My theory is, they've found someone beautiful, sexy and just THEIR type.

They think they've ticked all the boxes they've described.

They get a little excited, fantasize a little.. maybe more.

They send a message, hopeful.

They get a reply!

'No thanks.'

Massive deflation, the only way they think they can regain upper hand in the situation is abuse. "

Give me 5 mins to think of something creative then you can reject me and I'll hit you with the abuse

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By *asilyled1Man
over a year ago

ogmore valley

"Annie - I think what you’ve said is very arrogant. Everyone has different taste, and we can’t all be attracted to the same.

You may think you’re more attractive than the other women, but that doesn’t mean you are in the eyes of everyone.

It’s not very kind to put others down either, or say they are lesser than you. "

This. Very arrogant post by the OP

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"One flaw in your theory... I haven't had an abusive message either

My theory is, they've found someone beautiful, sexy and just THEIR type.

They think they've ticked all the boxes they've described.

They get a little excited, fantasize a little.. maybe more.

They send a message, hopeful.

They get a reply!

'No thanks.'

Massive deflation, the only way they think they can regain upper hand in the situation is abuse.

Give me 5 mins to think of something creative then you can reject me and I'll hit you with the abuse

Oooooh you want to be my first time do ya

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By *elle xWoman
over a year ago

Doire Theas

"I only get abuse when people want to meet instantly and I’m busy but I’ve only had it from couples. Usually late on a Friday to Saturday night…

'soz... I told BB you'd be busy

I know you warned me but look at him

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By *oyeur69123Man
over a year ago

Near Uxbridge

A very accurate observation/theory.

In the six weeks since I joined I must have sent out fifty messages to single ladies and couples - each one properly written with correct spelling and grammar, describing myself and how I fit with their interests as described in their profiles. I've received only four or five replies - not one longer than a sentence.

It's pure bad manners - perhaps a London thing; I can't imagine it happening nationwide.

Little wonder my current status message reads: ... "Does anyone on here actually answer messages? You know, write a proper reply..."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"One flaw in your theory... I haven't had an abusive message either

My theory is, they've found someone beautiful, sexy and just THEIR type.

They think they've ticked all the boxes they've described.

They get a little excited, fantasize a little.. maybe more.

They send a message, hopeful.

They get a reply!

'No thanks.'

Massive deflation, the only way they think they can regain upper hand in the situation is abuse.

Give me 5 mins to think of something creative then you can reject me and I'll hit you with the abuse

Oooooh you want to be my first time do ya

I got you

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Had to reread my opening post to see where I wrote that I’m more attractive than every other female and that I am every single guys first choice. Couldn’t see it though

I’m an empath through and through. Whenever I ‘reject’ someone, hate that word by the way, I’m rejecting myself, I never do the standard “not my type” message I send them an explanation I’d be happy to receive myself.

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By *ollydoesWoman
over a year ago

Shangri-La

One other problems is that there is no control over the quality of profiles we need to have minimum standards so we are not misled by profiles with little content or obviously fake.

What would those standards be?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Only problem with this theory is it suggests that those who get abusive messages are (at least in the minds of abusive men) not very attractive and while the language of such messages may be unnecessary, the sentiment is basically true.

It also assumes that the reason you haven't had such a message is that you are obviously a man's first choice ....

That's a mighty fine pair of assumptions there Annie.

Mr"

This with bells on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A very accurate observation/theory.

It's pure bad manners - perhaps a London thing; I can't imagine it happening nationwide.

Little wonder my current status message reads: ... "Does anyone on here actually answer messages? You know, write a proper reply...""

I’ve just copied the reply I wrote earlier

‘Turn it around. I think you are rude, expecting women to spend their time replying to people they aren’t interested in, instead off said women spending their time as they wish. It’s very entitled.’

Do you reply to every takeaway restaurant that puts a flyer through your door, to tell them you don’t like that particular good, or that you aren’t in the mood for it atm?

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By *cottish..1234Man
over a year ago

annan

I would say the person or persons would think just cause you are on this site then why are you say no etc.

Clearly a narcissist.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I only get abuse when people want to meet instantly and I’m busy but I’ve only had it from couples. Usually late on a Friday to Saturday night…

'soz... I told BB you'd be busy

I know you warned me but look at him

Maybe we need to go week night when he's not so 'busy'

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By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

wokingham

This thread

“I’ve never had an abusive message”

“Also, only the uggos get abusive messages”

“Also, also, I’m totally an empath”

It’s like a train wreck you can’t not watch

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This thread

“I’ve never had an abusive message”

“Also, only the uggos get abusive messages”

“Also, also, I’m totally an empath”

It’s like a train wreck you can’t not watch "

Yep

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By *good-being-badMan
over a year ago

mis-types and auto corrects leads cock leeds

I've been on the site longer than the op.. in that time I've had many no thanks messages, lots more of my messages went without a response deleted or maybe unread I don't look at the sent bin... in all of those years I've not sent an abusive message..

Would your theory be applicable to others , maybe who knows you'd need to ask the people who sent the abuse to find out their motive.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Had to reread my opening post to see where I wrote that I’m more attractive than every other female and that I am every single guys first choice. Couldn’t see it though

I kinda read it that you were refering to the messenger and their first and second choices etc. Not that you are everyones first choice, just the poster's.

Things can be misread and such I guess.

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By *tew008Man
over a year ago

edinburgh

"This thread

“I’ve never had an abusive message”

“Also, only the uggos get abusive messages”

“Also, also, I’m totally an empath”

It’s like a train wreck you can’t not watch "

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By *elle xWoman
over a year ago

Doire Theas

"I only get abuse when people want to meet instantly and I’m busy but I’ve only had it from couples. Usually late on a Friday to Saturday night…

'soz... I told BB you'd be busy

I know you warned me but look at him

Maybe we need to go week night when he's not so 'busy'

It’s definitely worth a try

how can we butter him up

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By *ollydoesWoman
over a year ago

Shangri-La

So the nastier the messages the uglier we are

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This thread

“I’ve never had an abusive message”

“Also, only the uggos get abusive messages”

“Also, also, I’m totally an empath”

It’s like a train wreck you can’t not watch "

I'm an uggo and a BOBFOC and old! And I never get abuse for turning someone down....so there goes that theory

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By *indergirlWoman
over a year ago

somewhere, someplace

"So the nastier the messages the uglier we are

Apparently so

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I love how this discussion is based on replies, I'd kill for a reply!

I don't descend into nastiness though. I just choose to put it down to me being too dark and sexy for them and it has nothing to do with my irritating sense of humour.

Then I just retire to my coffin stroking my dead cat laughing maniacally

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By *tew008Man
over a year ago

edinburgh

Everyone’s different and perception is not congruous. Been on a little while as well but haven’t attempted to surmise fab’s zeitgeist.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This thread

“I’ve never had an abusive message”

“Also, only the uggos get abusive messages”

“Also, also, I’m totally an empath”

It’s like a train wreck you can’t not watch

I'm an uggo and a BOBFOC and old! And I never get abuse for turning someone down....so there goes that theory

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA!!!!! Are you fucking kidding me??

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By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

wokingham

"This thread

“I’ve never had an abusive message”

“Also, only the uggos get abusive messages”

“Also, also, I’m totally an empath”

It’s like a train wreck you can’t not watch

I'm an uggo and a BOBFOC and old! And I never get abuse for turning someone down....so there goes that theory

Or… maybe the theory stands true and your actually the perfect 10?

Well, a 9.9

Well all know the OP is the only true 10. We’re all peasants next to her

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Had to reread my opening post to see where I wrote that I’m more attractive than every other female and that I am every single guys first choice. Couldn’t see it though

I kinda read it that you were refering to the messenger and their first and second choices etc. Not that you are everyones first choice, just the poster's.

Things can be misread and such I guess. "

Annie said - 'Also just to add that in 11 years I’ve never had abuse in response to a no thank you message, now that’s not down to just good luck. So, my theory…'

To shorten it -

Men start off messaging women who they're interested in.

Men then start to message women who aren't his first choice. Copy and paste message/half arsed. After all this rejection he sends abuse.

Therefore the bottom of the pile gets abuse. The last choice.

That is how I have read this thread.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A lot of the times we’ve ‘rejected’ someone it hasn’t been anything to do with their looks or pictures. Sometimes it can be the wording of their message/profile (or lack of). So people shouldn’t automatically think it’s because they’re less desirable. One time was even because they had the same bedding as our son

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Away for Christmas

I honestly think that the abusive message claims are exaggerated quantity.

I'm not saying they don't happen, fuck no. Knowing how men can be and how some are very short fused and immature it is almost a given that some will respond that way.

But it is often made out that it is a constant flow of abusive messages, or at least appears to be that way.

I think if somebody (regardless of gender) is really getting that many abusive messages they need to take a look at their profile, what attitude they are projecting out in to the world and do they themselves rub the senders up the wrong way. Example. There is somebody local and all I see of their status is horrible attitude that makes me think why would anyone bother in the first place. No wonder some people will turn the same kind of attitude back on you.

I'm talking about actual abusive messages, not weak effort or graphic and vile first messages.

Nor am I "victim" blaming, just that context and consistency must play its part if Y is getting none while Z is getting them all the time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Had to reread my opening post to see where I wrote that I’m more attractive than every other female and that I am every single guys first choice. Couldn’t see it though

I kinda read it that you were refering to the messenger and their first and second choices etc. Not that you are everyones first choice, just the poster's.

Things can be misread and such I guess.

Annie said - 'Also just to add that in 11 years I’ve never had abuse in response to a no thank you message, now that’s not down to just good luck. So, my theory…'

To shorten it -

Men start off messaging women who they're interested in.

Men then start to message women who aren't his first choice. Copy and paste message/half arsed. After all this rejection he sends abuse.

Therefore the bottom of the pile gets abuse. The last choice.

That is how I have read this thread.

That's exactly what was said. No idea how it can possibly be read any other way tbh.

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By *partharmonyCouple
over a year ago

Ruislip

I think a lot of guys skip the first part about sending decent messages, and then they condense the rest into writing crap messages straight away. Some then follow it up with abuse.

Fortunately we very rarely get abused (only two examples I can think of), but almost all the messages we get from men are crap.

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By *itty9899Man
over a year ago

Craggy Island

I don't bother anymore, not that I'm annoyed with no response I just let you ladies get on with if per chance we meet at a club then and you recognise my ugly mug feel free to say hello, other then that I wish you all the best.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Had to reread my opening post to see where I wrote that I’m more attractive than every other female and that I am every single guys first choice. Couldn’t see it though

I kinda read it that you were refering to the messenger and their first and second choices etc. Not that you are everyones first choice, just the poster's.

Things can be misread and such I guess.

Annie said - 'Also just to add that in 11 years I’ve never had abuse in response to a no thank you message, now that’s not down to just good luck. So, my theory…'

To shorten it -

Men start off messaging women who they're interested in.

Men then start to message women who aren't his first choice. Copy and paste message/half arsed. After all this rejection he sends abuse.

Therefore the bottom of the pile gets abuse. The last choice.

That is how I have read this thread.

That's exactly what was said. No idea how it can possibly be read any other way tbh.

Mr"

Fair enough

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Had to reread my opening post to see where I wrote that I’m more attractive than every other female and that I am every single guys first choice. Couldn’t see it though

I kinda read it that you were refering to the messenger and their first and second choices etc. Not that you are everyones first choice, just the poster's.

Things can be misread and such I guess.

Annie said - 'Also just to add that in 11 years I’ve never had abuse in response to a no thank you message, now that’s not down to just good luck. So, my theory…'

To shorten it -

Men start off messaging women who they're interested in.

Men then start to message women who aren't his first choice. Copy and paste message/half arsed. After all this rejection he sends abuse.

Therefore the bottom of the pile gets abuse. The last choice.

That is how I have read this thread.

That’s how it reads to me too.

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

Incidentally OP, you said that you haven't received any abusive messages and that it wasn't down to luck; what is it that you do to avoid such unpleasantness?

I haven't received any either and I'm definitely not in the first choice bracket.

I've been wondering why some women get abusive first messages or replies to a no thank you, and some don't, for years and am still none the wiser.

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By *ustdaveHantsMan
over a year ago

chippenham

I'm one of those guys that you could say.... Has had a rough paper round lol.

So when on fab I always send a face picture and accept the rejection well.

I don't understand these keyboard warriors that feel it necessary to send disgusting messages it's just wrong.

Just move along there's plenty more fish in the sea

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To the ones who haven't received there first abuse message slide into the dm's I got you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think a lot of guys skip the first part about sending decent messages, and then they condense the rest into writing crap messages straight away. Some then follow it up with abuse.

Fortunately we very rarely get abused (only two examples I can think of), but almost all the messages we get from men are crap. "

Although we have received a couple of abusive messages I think couples are less likely to receive them than single women. The sort of people that send abusive messages don’t strike me as the type that would it when there’s a man present as well

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

Incidentally OP, you said that you haven't received any abusive messages and that it wasn't down to luck; what is it that you do to avoid such unpleasantness?

I haven't received any either and I'm definitely not in the first choice bracket.

I've been wondering why some women get abusive first messages or replies to a no thank you, and some don't, for years and am still none the wiser."

I honestly think some of the abusive first messages are desperate attempts at a bite. Communication in any form rather than no form at all. A bit like a schoolkid throwing a chair in class out of frustration and just wanting to be heard.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think a lot of guys skip the first part about sending decent messages, and then they condense the rest into writing crap messages straight away. Some then follow it up with abuse.

Fortunately we very rarely get abused (only two examples I can think of), but almost all the messages we get from men are crap.

You would be quite surprised

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think a lot of guys skip the first part about sending decent messages, and then they condense the rest into writing crap messages straight away. Some then follow it up with abuse.

Fortunately we very rarely get abused (only two examples I can think of), but almost all the messages we get from men are crap.

You would be quite surprised

No doubt it happens but I bet single women get it a lot more

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think a lot of guys skip the first part about sending decent messages, and then they condense the rest into writing crap messages straight away. Some then follow it up with abuse.

Fortunately we very rarely get abused (only two examples I can think of), but almost all the messages we get from men are crap.

You would be quite surprised

No doubt it happens but I bet single women get it a lot more"

Most think this is a single woman's profile anyway

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think a lot of guys skip the first part about sending decent messages, and then they condense the rest into writing crap messages straight away. Some then follow it up with abuse.

Fortunately we very rarely get abused (only two examples I can think of), but almost all the messages we get from men are crap. "

In our experience we are as a likely to get a poor message off couples as we are single men which given the ratio of both suggests that for us at least the single guys make more effort. We've also had no abusive messages that I recall. I was starting to feel left out but now I know what it really means is we are on the hot as fuck list I'm quite chuffed

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

Incidentally OP, you said that you haven't received any abusive messages and that it wasn't down to luck; what is it that you do to avoid such unpleasantness?

I haven't received any either and I'm definitely not in the first choice bracket.

I've been wondering why some women get abusive first messages or replies to a no thank you, and some don't, for years and am still none the wiser.

Possibly, but hardly likely to end up meeting them.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I just blew something out of my nose that looked like it should have a pulse

Looking at the inside of my tissue is more interesting than some of these comments.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think a lot of guys skip the first part about sending decent messages, and then they condense the rest into writing crap messages straight away. Some then follow it up with abuse.

Fortunately we very rarely get abused (only two examples I can think of), but almost all the messages we get from men are crap.

You would be quite surprised

No doubt it happens but I bet single women get it a lot more

Most think this is a single woman's profile anyway

Yeah. We get that a lot. “Nice tits”. I (Mr) know I’m still carrying a bit of lockdown weight but no need to comment on my man boobs

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

Incidentally OP, you said that you haven't received any abusive messages and that it wasn't down to luck; what is it that you do to avoid such unpleasantness?

I haven't received any either and I'm definitely not in the first choice bracket.

I've been wondering why some women get abusive first messages or replies to a no thank you, and some don't, for years and am still none the wiser.

Possibly, but hardly likely to end up meeting them.

Absolutely, but for a brief moment they're no longer as invisible as they probably feel.

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By *olly_chromaticTV/TS
over a year ago

Stockport

"You forgot the final stage.

After having no joy with a lady he would normally ignore, he tries a T girl. After all a blow Job is a blow Job especially if you close your eyes. "

And eventually after being told enough times that at best we're a poor substitute for a wank, we start to believe it ourselves...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think a lot of guys skip the first part about sending decent messages, and then they condense the rest into writing crap messages straight away. Some then follow it up with abuse.

Fortunately we very rarely get abused (only two examples I can think of), but almost all the messages we get from men are crap.

You would be quite surprised

No doubt it happens but I bet single women get it a lot more

Most think this is a single woman's profile anyway

Yeah. We get that a lot. “Nice tits”. I (Mr) know I’m still carrying a bit of lockdown weight but no need to comment on my man boobs

They ways compliment the females tits but always leave my moons out haha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

One other problems is that there is no control over the quality of profiles we need to have minimum standards so we are not misled by profiles with little content or obviously fake.

Thats why a good profile is so important

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By *irthandgirthMan
over a year ago

Camberley occasionally doncaster

"I’ve been here 11 years now, that’s quite a long stint and more than enough time and experience to come to this conclusion. As I’m a woman this is based on anyone from men towards women. Also just to add that in 11 years I’ve never had abuse in response to a no thank you message, now that’s not down to just good luck. So, my theory…

Guy starts off looking at pictures and reading the profiles of women he’s attracted to and interested in. Guy sends thoughtful messages tailored to that individuals profile.

Guy gets his message deleted or left on read or told no thank you. Guy does this multiple times, same response or lack of response.

So there we are. "

I think one of the problems is that little 3 x 5 inch screen which people treat as a shield of invulnerability. There is no way 99% of the crude/rude/abusive messages would be said aloud to a potential partners face. The sense of power that this disconnect brings is quite disturbing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think a lot of guys skip the first part about sending decent messages, and then they condense the rest into writing crap messages straight away. Some then follow it up with abuse.

Fortunately we very rarely get abused (only two examples I can think of), but almost all the messages we get from men are crap.

You would be quite surprised

No doubt it happens but I bet single women get it a lot more

Most think this is a single woman's profile anyway

Yeah. We get that a lot. “Nice tits”. I (Mr) know I’m still carrying a bit of lockdown weight but no need to comment on my man boobs

They ways compliment the females tits but always leave my moons out haha"

Moobs need loving too

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Incidentally OP, you said that you haven't received any abusive messages and that it wasn't down to luck; what is it that you do to avoid such unpleasantness?

I haven't received any either and I'm definitely not in the first choice bracket.

I've been wondering why some women get abusive first messages or replies to a no thank you, and some don't, for years and am still none the wiser.

Yeah I’ve had abusive openers but not abusive responses. I used to bite back but then realised it was a tactic to get a response.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I only get abuse when people want to meet instantly and I’m busy but I’ve only had it from couples. Usually late on a Friday to Saturday night…

'soz... I told BB you'd be busy

I know you warned me but look at him

Maybe we need to go week night when he's not so 'busy'

It’s definitely worth a try

how can we butter him up

Uhm

however you like

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By *indergirlWoman
over a year ago

somewhere, someplace

"Had to reread my opening post to see where I wrote that I’m more attractive than every other female and that I am every single guys first choice. Couldn’t see it though

I kinda read it that you were refering to the messenger and their first and second choices etc. Not that you are everyones first choice, just the poster's.

Things can be misread and such I guess.

Annie said - 'Also just to add that in 11 years I’ve never had abuse in response to a no thank you message, now that’s not down to just good luck. So, my theory…'

To shorten it -

Men start off messaging women who they're interested in.

Men then start to message women who aren't his first choice. Copy and paste message/half arsed. After all this rejection he sends abuse.

Therefore the bottom of the pile gets abuse. The last choice.

That is how I have read this thread.

Me too!

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By *elle xWoman
over a year ago

Doire Theas

"I only get abuse when people want to meet instantly and I’m busy but I’ve only had it from couples. Usually late on a Friday to Saturday night…

'soz... I told BB you'd be busy

I know you warned me but look at him

Maybe we need to go week night when he's not so 'busy'

It’s definitely worth a try

how can we butter him up

Uhm

however you like

I can think of a few things that will work

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I only get abuse when people want to meet instantly and I’m busy but I’ve only had it from couples. Usually late on a Friday to Saturday night…

'soz... I told BB you'd be busy

I know you warned me but look at him

Maybe we need to go week night when he's not so 'busy'

It’s definitely worth a try

how can we butter him up

Uhm

however you like

I can think of a few things that will work

I think its almost time to spritz you with the holy water

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I’m gonna sound arrogant saying this but curious to know peoples theories as to why I’ve never received a single abusive message in response to telling someone I wasn’t interested.

I’ve been here 11 years, that’s a lot of mail to deal with on its own, factor in that during that time I’ve been top of page one on hot pics 100’s of times, thats an extra shit tonne of messages. The volume of traffic my profile has had in my time, it wouldn’t be an exaggeration to say it’s probably hundreds of thousands of messages over 11 years, yet not one abusive response. How so?

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By *elle xWoman
over a year ago

Doire Theas

"I only get abuse when people want to meet instantly and I’m busy but I’ve only had it from couples. Usually late on a Friday to Saturday night…

'soz... I told BB you'd be busy

I know you warned me but look at him

Maybe we need to go week night when he's not so 'busy'

It’s definitely worth a try

how can we butter him up

Uhm

however you like

I can think of a few things that will work

I think its almost time to spritz you with the holy water

I think I’m way beyond intervention at this stage

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’m gonna sound arrogant saying this but curious to know peoples theories as to why I’ve never received a single abusive message in response to telling someone I wasn’t interested.

The kickboxing T-shirt in your pics. I don’t think I’d have the balls to abuse a kick-boxer

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By *ollydoesWoman
over a year ago

Shangri-La

Incidentally OP, you said that you haven't received any abusive messages and that it wasn't down to luck; what is it that you do to avoid such unpleasantness?

I haven't received any either and I'm definitely not in the first choice bracket.

I've been wondering why some women get abusive first messages or replies to a no thank you, and some don't, for years and am still none the wiser.

Throwing their toys out the pram. I do think the context of some messeges can get lost in translation to though and maybe sometimes we like to think they being an arse because it suits the mood your in at the time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’m gonna sound arrogant saying this but curious to know peoples theories as to why I’ve never received a single abusive message in response to telling someone I wasn’t interested.

Maybe cause you're hotter and better than us?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’m gonna sound arrogant saying this but curious to know peoples theories as to why I’ve never received a single abusive message in response to telling someone I wasn’t interested.

It's because you're so hot. Men are never abusive to hot women. Ever. Well known fact. In fact if the world wasn't so full of ugly women there would be a lot less abuse. Basically, if we downed ugly girls at birth the whole "me too" movement would have been unnecessary....

*for those of you who are incapable of recognising it, this is sarcasm*

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

Well it made me laugh .......

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By *ollydoesWoman
over a year ago

Shangri-La

"I’m gonna sound arrogant saying this but curious to know peoples theories as to why I’ve never received a single abusive message in response to telling someone I wasn’t interested.

*for those of you who are incapable of recognising it, this is sarcasm*"

Or maybe they just wernt that bothered in the first place? I like it when they get all pissy when i say no. Shows how upset they are when i turn them down

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

I've only read the first and last post - so apols if i'm repeating.

The O.P. is a possibility. In some cases it will be a strong probability but the 'theory' is based on pure assumption.

Pretty unpleasant assumption ( if I was a man) but i'm not so fuck it.

So many such 'theories' about women are plentiful too.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"Everyone knows this site is full of awful men,if the good looking woman of fab don't want awful men messaging them then set filters and do your own search..."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’m gonna sound arrogant saying this but curious to know peoples theories as to why I’ve never received a single abusive message in response to telling someone I wasn’t interested.

Yes, you do sound arrogant.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

Fucking hell, that's a strong response. I think all theories are probably correct. In your case you've hit the nail on the head too

For balance, we always try to reply even if it’s a polite no thank you and can probably count on one hand the amount of abuse we have received so the majority on here are decent human beings."

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By *rwHottMan
over a year ago

Norwich

I agree with the first comment although I have and wouldn't ever send abuse, it is frustrating. I am a good looking young(ISH) male who has never struggles to meet people. In fact I have never even been to a bar and asked a girl if she wants a drink but regularly get offered myself, on here it is a different world and no one seems to write back which is pretty sole destroying! I don't know how some guys do it's maybe I'm just to polite for my own good ??!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’m gonna sound arrogant saying this but curious to know peoples theories as to why I’ve never received a single abusive message in response to telling someone I wasn’t interested.

*for those of you who are incapable of recognising it, this is sarcasm*"

*fact*

*end of*

#rantover

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I agree with the first comment although I have and wouldn't ever send abuse, it is frustrating. I am a good looking young(ISH) male who has never struggles to meet people. In fact I have never even been to a bar and asked a girl if she wants a drink but regularly get offered myself, on here it is a different world and no one seems to write back which is pretty sole destroying! I don't know how some guys do it's maybe I'm just to polite for my own good ??! "

Think you need stronger footwear.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Think you need stronger footwear. "

I think I'm happy about being an ugly cunt with worthwhile filling rather than a good looking shell with fuck all inside

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By *rwHottMan
over a year ago

Norwich

Haha maybe I do! As we are on the topic ??

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"I love how this discussion is based on replies, I'd kill for a reply!

I don't descend into nastiness though. I just choose to put it down to me being too dark and sexy for them and it has nothing to do with my irritating sense of humour.

Then I just retire to my coffin stroking my dead cat laughing maniacally "

It's not even based on replies. It's based on hypotheticals

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I love how this discussion is based on replies, I'd kill for a reply!

I don't descend into nastiness though. I just choose to put it down to me being too dark and sexy for them and it has nothing to do with my irritating sense of humour.

Then I just retire to my coffin stroking my dead cat laughing maniacally

It's not even based on replies. It's based on hypotheticals "

Aye,I was trying to lighten the mood

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By *iger4uWoman
over a year ago

In my happy place

Incidentally OP, you said that you haven't received any abusive messages and that it wasn't down to luck; what is it that you do to avoid such unpleasantness?"

She thinks she is elite on here so in the first category

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"I love how this discussion is based on replies, I'd kill for a reply!

I don't descend into nastiness though. I just choose to put it down to me being too dark and sexy for them and it has nothing to do with my irritating sense of humour.

Then I just retire to my coffin stroking my dead cat laughing maniacally

It's not even based on replies. It's based on hypotheticals

Aye,I was trying to lighten the mood "

I blame my sense of humour by pass.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This thread

“I’ve never had an abusive message”

“Also, only the uggos get abusive messages”

“Also, also, I’m totally an empath”

It’s like a train wreck you can’t not watch

I'm an uggo and a BOBFOC and old! And I never get abuse for turning someone down....so there goes that theory

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA!!!!! Are you fucking kidding me??"

That is a lot of HHHHHHh and AAAAAAAA's

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This thread

“I’ve never had an abusive message”

“Also, only the uggos get abusive messages”

“Also, also, I’m totally an empath”

It’s like a train wreck you can’t not watch

I'm an uggo and a BOBFOC and old! And I never get abuse for turning someone down....so there goes that theory

Or… maybe the theory stands true and your actually the perfect 10?

Well, a 9.9

Well all know the OP is the only true 10. We’re all peasants next to her "

Oh of course a 9.9.... one must know her place

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

"I’m gonna sound arrogant saying this but curious to know peoples theories as to why I’ve never received a single abusive message in response to telling someone I wasn’t interested.

Me neither, except when I was tired and sent a sarcastic reply.

I've probably had hundreds of thousands if messages too.

We'll never know as it doesn't matter what you look like, or what's on your profile.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This thread

“I’ve never had an abusive message”

“Also, only the uggos get abusive messages”

“Also, also, I’m totally an empath”

It’s like a train wreck you can’t not watch

I'm an uggo and a BOBFOC and old! And I never get abuse for turning someone down....so there goes that theory

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA!!!!! Are you fucking kidding me??

That is a lot of HHHHHHh and AAAAAAAA's "

Cause you're hot

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Incidentally OP, you said that you haven't received any abusive messages and that it wasn't down to luck; what is it that you do to avoid such unpleasantness?

She thinks she is elite on here so in the first category"

That’s untrue. I’ve never referred to myself as elite only the men I’m attracted to.

Anyone can be attracted to anyone, I could say I’m attracted to very tall ginger men with beards, doesn’t mean I think I’m very tall and ginger with a beard. Check your facts before posting untrue statements.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I cannot understand why someone would want to send someone an abusive message just because they were declined. Get over it, show some respect and move on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This thread

“I’ve never had an abusive message”

“Also, only the uggos get abusive messages”

“Also, also, I’m totally an empath”

It’s like a train wreck you can’t not watch

I'm an uggo and a BOBFOC and old! And I never get abuse for turning someone down....so there goes that theory

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA!!!!! Are you fucking kidding me??

That is a lot of HHHHHHh and AAAAAAAA's

Cause you're hot"

Hot hot hot! Or just hot?

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By *JB1954Man
over a year ago

Reading

"I cannot understand why someone would want to send someone an abusive message just because they were declined. Get over it, show some respect and move on. "

I have had twice now from same person, a female. Had a message to meet them . Early hours of morning while on forums etc. This as their RFB , a no show. Turned down due to never meeting them in person. Note had traceable veris. Plus over dd limit. Would never go out at that time anyway. Both times got told , time waster etc. Also should be grateful at my age to get offer

. Now blocked

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By *adyBugsWoman
over a year ago

cognito

I’ve skimmed through this and may have missed the numbers but I saw OP say they have had 100’s of thousands of messages over 11 years but they didn’t say how many they actually responded to out of approximate 100,000 and how many are no thanks which could statistically skew the data in a big way to explain why they’ve never had a rude response.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I’ve skimmed through this and may have missed the numbers but I saw OP say they have had 100’s of thousands of messages over 11 years but they didn’t say how many they actually responded to out of approximate 100,000 and how many are no thanks which could statistically skew the data in a big way to explain why they’ve never had a rude response. "

I honestly couldn’t say. The majority would’ve been deletes but I’ve heard people get abuse from deleting a message too. I’d say it’s still in the thousands though who I have replies to. I know for the first few years I used to reply to everyone but then the volume of messages became too much. For years I either have my age range set at 99 so no one can message or I state on my profile I’m not looking to meet. Easier to reiterate that I’m not meeting than turn someone down.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

We've had completely unsolicited abuse for me being disabled. Mr KC has been described in all sorts of unpleasant terms, making reference to the fact his wife is a wheelchair user. Fuck knows how this fits into the theory but there we go.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Get that feeling all the time next best thing fuck when I get a message off a guy and his profile read only looking for woman and couples

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Had to reread my opening post to see where I wrote that I’m more attractive than every other female and that I am every single guys first choice. Couldn’t see it though

I kinda read it that you were refering to the messenger and their first and second choices etc. Not that you are everyones first choice, just the poster's.

Things can be misread and such I guess.

Annie said - 'Also just to add that in 11 years I’ve never had abuse in response to a no thank you message, now that’s not down to just good luck. So, my theory…'

To shorten it -

Men start off messaging women who they're interested in.

Men then start to message women who aren't his first choice. Copy and paste message/half arsed. After all this rejection he sends abuse.

Therefore the bottom of the pile gets abuse. The last choice.

That is how I have read this thread.

That's how i read it too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We've had completely unsolicited abuse for me being disabled. Mr KC has been described in all sorts of unpleasant terms, making reference to the fact his wife is a wheelchair user. Fuck knows how this fits into the theory but there we go. "

Gosh that is appalling

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"BTW, I've only had one abusive message.

I was called a c*** because I viewed his profile but didn't reply. "

This is why we have ninja mode

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"BTW, I've only had one abusive message.

I was called a c*** because I viewed his profile but didn't reply.

This is why we have ninja mode"

Can you imagine the amount of messages if there was no stealth mode. “I see you’ve looked at my profile”

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"BTW, I've only had one abusive message.

I was called a c*** because I viewed his profile but didn't reply.

This is why we have ninja mode

Can you imagine the amount of messages if there was no stealth mode. “I see you’ve looked at my profile”

I've been guilty of that in the past as a single man I'll be honest, but I always took no response or no thank you as a "oh well, worth a try attitude"

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By *o new WinksMan
over a year ago

BSE

"BTW, I've only had one abusive message.

I was called a c*** because I viewed his profile but didn't reply.

This is why we have ninja mode

Can you imagine the amount of messages if there was no stealth mode. “I see you’ve looked at my profile”

If they look and don't fab, wink or message, I just assume they didn't like what they saw and ignore.

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