FabSwingers.com forum: Baby Loss Awareness Week

By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

It's halfway through Baby Loss Awareness Week.

If you,or a loved one, have lost a baby to miscarriage, stillbirth or neonatal death I hope you are treating yourself kindly this week. It can be hard hearing people tell their stories.

If your loss is recent do contact SANDS for help. The befrienders are people like you and me with experience of loss.

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By *ex HolesMan
over a year ago

Up North

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By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

It's something no woman ever gets over. I find this week so hard and will definitely be lighting a candle for my little one who grew her wings far to early x

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By *ooo wet tight hornyWoman
over a year ago

lancashire

I don't have the heart emoji...but I send all my heart felt wishes to all parents feeling this pain..

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By *rs mischiefWoman
over a year ago

Manchester

Thank you, OP for your kind words, 3 heavenly angels of mine, I was lucky enough to carry for a short time, they may have been tiny but they still left a big hole in my heart.

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

Lost my wee boy 30 years ago this week! Seems like yesterday x

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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"It's something no woman ever gets over. I find this week so hard and will definitely be lighting a candle for my little one who grew her wings far to early x"

I am sorry for your loss.

'Get over' is never the right phrase. We learn to live with the grief and grow around it.

I met a Buddhist several years after my son died. What she said gave me great comfort, and still does. She said he had come into my life to teach me something I would need for the rest of my life.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sending love and support to everyone who has lost an Angel

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By *rs mischiefWoman
over a year ago

Manchester

"It's something no woman ever gets over. I find this week so hard and will definitely be lighting a candle for my little one who grew her wings far to early x

I am sorry for your loss.

'Get over' is never the right phrase. We learn to live with the grief and grow around it.

I met a Buddhist several years after my son died. What she said gave me great comfort, and still does. She said he had come into my life to teach me something I would need for the rest of my life."

I have great respect for Buddhists, I think they talk an awful lot of sense.

My losses definitely taught me a few things. X

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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"Thank you, OP for your kind words, 3 heavenly angels of mine, I was lucky enough to carry for a short time, they may have been tiny but they still left a big hole in my heart.

I am sorry for your loss. Miscarriage is so rarely spoken of yet so many of us experience it.

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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"Lost my wee boy 30 years ago this week! Seems like yesterday x"

I am so sorry. I will light a candle for your son, alongside the one for mine, who would have been 30 next March.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

my son would have been 7 last monday.

blaw is always tough.

sending my love to any body that needs it right now.

you aren't alone

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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"I don't have the heart emoji...but I send all my heart felt wishes to all parents feeling this pain..

Thank you.

= (l o v e) without the spaces.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No words love to you all x

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

"Lost my wee boy 30 years ago this week! Seems like yesterday x

I am so sorry. I will light a candle for your son, alongside the one for mine, who would have been 30 next March.

Xxxx

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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"my son would have been 7 last monday.

blaw is always tough.

sending my love to any body that needs it right now.

you aren't alone

Px "

I'm sorry for your loss. Remember that you aren't alone, either. Your experience is unique to you, your pain may not be the same as mine but we share the knowledge of such pain.

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By *asilyled1Man
over a year ago

ogmore valley

Love to you all who’ve gone through this,can’t even begin to imagine how devastating it is.big cwtch x

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By *indergirlWoman
over a year ago

somewhere, someplace

Tomorrow is bitter sweet for me.... My youngest turns nine and her twin is an angel sadly lost early in the pregnancy. And her original due date was also the due date of my first angel. I'm lucky to have both of my rainbows

SANDS were great helping my through my losses and I donate whenever I can

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By *heVonMatterhornsCouple
over a year ago

Lincoln

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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"No words love to you all x"

Thank you.

Love to all the men who have lost a baby. Your loss is important too.

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

"It's something no woman ever gets over. I find this week so hard and will definitely be lighting a candle for my little one who grew her wings far to early x

I am sorry for your loss.

'Get over' is never the right phrase. We learn to live with the grief and grow around it.

I met a Buddhist several years after my son died. What she said gave me great comfort, and still does. She said he had come into my life to teach me something I would need for the rest of my life."

I like this, thank you OP seen things this week that have triggered more than comforted. But having it teach me something does thank you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My son would have been 15. There isn't a day in the last 15 and a half years he hasn't been in my mind as well as my heart.

for everyone who has gone through this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Love and hugs to all (dads as well as mums) who have been through this, myself included. No matter how many years pass, it still hurts on those particular days of the year. Thank you for creating this post OP

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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"Tomorrow is bitter sweet for me.... My youngest turns nine and her twin is an angel sadly lost early in the pregnancy. And her original due date was also the due date of my first angel. I'm lucky to have both of my rainbows

SANDS were great helping my through my losses and I donate whenever I can

I am so sorry. I will remember your lost twin.

I'm glad SANDS helped you. They rarely get the sort of attention that other national charities get.

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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago

London

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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"It's something no woman ever gets over. I find this week so hard and will definitely be lighting a candle for my little one who grew her wings far to early x

I am sorry for your loss.

'Get over' is never the right phrase. We learn to live with the grief and grow around it.

I met a Buddhist several years after my son died. What she said gave me great comfort, and still does. She said he had come into my life to teach me something I would need for the rest of my life.

I like this, thank you OP seen things this week that have triggered more than comforted. But having it teach me something does thank you "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"My son would have been 15. There isn't a day in the last 15 and a half years he hasn't been in my mind as well as my heart.

for everyone who has gone through this "

I am sorry for your loss. This is the poem I chose for my son's funeral and one I return to often. Our loss is the loss of our dreams and they recur every day.

Had I the heavens’ embroidered cloths,

Enwrought with golden and silver light,

The blue and the dim and the dark cloths

Of night and light and the half-light,

I would spread the cloths under your feet:

But I, being poor, have only my dreams;

I have spread my dreams under your feet;

Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.

WB Yeats

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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"Love and hugs to all (dads as well as mums) who have been through this, myself included. No matter how many years pass, it still hurts on those particular days of the year. Thank you for creating this post OP

Be kind to yourself on those days.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Seeing this thread reminded me of my sister miscarrying about 12 years ago. She was only 7 and half weeks gone too. She's never spoken about it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My son would have been 15. There isn't a day in the last 15 and a half years he hasn't been in my mind as well as my heart.

for everyone who has gone through this

I am sorry for your loss. This is the poem I chose for my son's funeral and one I return to often. Our loss is the loss of our dreams and they recur every day.

Had I the heavens’ embroidered cloths,

Enwrought with golden and silver light,

The blue and the dim and the dark cloths

Of night and light and the half-light,

I would spread the cloths under your feet:

But I, being poor, have only my dreams;

I have spread my dreams under your feet;

Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.

WB Yeats"

Ah this just made me well up.... this was read at my sons funeral too.

I'm sorry for your loss too. Much love x

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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"Seeing this thread reminded me of my sister miscarrying about 12 years ago. She was only 7 and half weeks gone too. She's never spoken about it

My sister never speaks of her 3 miscarriages. Most of us don't. We are told unhelpful things like, It was probably for the best or, It was so early you'll get over it. We stay quiet as it embarrasses others or we risk hearing something enraging unhelpful.

You also lost your potential status as aunt. I am sorry.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hard to imagine both my daughters would be in their early 20's now

Sadly, it wasn't meant to be

I would have made a good parent

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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"Hard to imagine both my daughters would be in their early 20's now

Sadly, it wasn't meant to be

I would have made a good parent "

I'm sorry for your loss, Bussy. After all these years I have just learnt you were a dad. You would have been a brilliant parent.

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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago

hiding from cock pics.

Sending love and healing to all

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By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

"It's something no woman ever gets over. I find this week so hard and will definitely be lighting a candle for my little one who grew her wings far to early x

I am sorry for your loss.

'Get over' is never the right phrase. We learn to live with the grief and grow around it.

I met a Buddhist several years after my son died. What she said gave me great comfort, and still does. She said he had come into my life to teach me something I would need for the rest of my life."

So sorry to hear of your loss too xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Seeing this thread reminded me of my sister miscarrying about 12 years ago. She was only 7 and half weeks gone too. She's never spoken about it

You also lost your potential status as aunt. I am sorry."

I come from a family who don't talk to each other which doesn't help. I was so happy at the thought of being an aunt, then I was just devastated. It was really going to be the closest thing to having my own child as I don't have kids and I never will now. The worst thing about my sister losing her baby was the fact that my mum always said she never wanted to be a grandma anyway

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By *ookie46Woman
over a year ago

Deepest darkest Peru

I haven't lost a child but I did my grandson. Born 16 weeks premature and lived for the most amazing 24 days. It was like grieving twice over, for my grandson and watching my heartbroken daughter

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I haven't lost a child but I did my grandson. Born 16 weeks premature and lived for the most amazing 24 days. It was like grieving twice over, for my grandson and watching my heartbroken daughter "

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By *gent CoulsonMan
over a year ago

Secret hideaway in the pennines

It has happened to me twice, I wear the ribbon, and my tattoo is a reminder, although I don't need a reminder.

To all the ladies who have been through this, you have my love, stay strong

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By *indergirlWoman
over a year ago

somewhere, someplace

I have new candles ready to be lit on Friday x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

8 losses. I know the heartache. My heart goes out to every woman and man that experience loss. And to those that never get to become parents. And to those who have had to make a decision when faced with a prognosis of their unborn child or their own life that is just utterly unbearable to make.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's something no woman ever gets over. I find this week so hard and will definitely be lighting a candle for my little one who grew her wings far to early x"

No father either.

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

Can I also add to this those terminated due to foetal abnormalities? Such a devastating experience for those women wrapped up in an additional element of shame even when those abnormalities are incredibly severe and incompatible with life outside the uterus.

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By *killsMan
over a year ago

Never Never Land

My heart felt love goes out to everyone. Our little angels are with us in our hearts always.

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

To anyone that this has affected, sending heart felt best wishes x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can I also add to this those terminated due to foetal abnormalities? Such a devastating experience for those women wrapped up in an additional element of shame even when those abnormalities are incredibly severe and incompatible with life outside the uterus. "

I would say so.

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By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

"It's something no woman ever gets over. I find this week so hard and will definitely be lighting a candle for my little one who grew her wings far to early x

No father either."

Definitely. I've seen some absolutely devastated fathers. People forget that they carry the heartache too x

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By *opilotMan
over a year ago

Heathrow

21 years ago now, the heartache never goes away.

My heartfelt condolences go out to each and every parent who has lost their child.

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By *cplsMan
over a year ago

Nr Waltham

I saw something on breakfast TV today, made a nice change. Dads sometimes suffer in silence too. I lost 2 babies and still think about them 30 and 28 years ago. My heart goes out to any woman losing a baby, it is devastating; but spare a thought for the men too.

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By *emma HoldenTV/TS
over a year ago

Ramsey

"It's something no woman ever gets over. I find this week so hard and will definitely be lighting a candle for my little one who grew her wings far to early x

No father either.

Definitely. I've seen some absolutely devastated fathers. People forget that they carry the heartache too x"

This for me. Behind the female facade on here lives a guy who endures the loss of a little one who would have become a teenager this year. You never get over it, you learn to exist another way. I'm lucky my eldest & youngest made it ok & are great kids. It's hard when anyone ever asks how many kids I have & you answer two automatically when you should really say three but you don't want to be drawn into talking & explaining. One cos of fearing getting upset & two for not wanting to make the other person asking feel bad. Hugs to everyone on the thread.

I thought for a while after that I was being punished for being Gemma & sort of not normal but over time I grew to learn the escapism of Gemma helped me find a happy place even if only for short periods of time that normal life allows. It's the only time I feel truly alive & I built a coping mechanism around it & grew to love both sides of me without fighting it anymore.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can I just point out this is not about either gender suffering more than another. This is simply for anybody who has lost a child or baby.

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By *izzy.miss.lizzyCouple
over a year ago

Pembrokeshire

R.I.P. my Emmilene Rose and my Janine Leigh xxx Sleeping angels.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"R.I.P. my Emmilene Rose and my Janine Leigh xxx Sleeping angels.

Sorry for the loss of your angles. X

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By *LiamMan
over a year ago

Midlands

I am sorry if anyone has gone through this, blessings come and go stay strong. X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can I just point out this is not about either gender suffering more than another. This is simply for anybody who has lost a child or baby. "

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By *uvery30Woman
over a year ago

Gloucestershire

I lost my angel baby 14years ago last week. I do think about it often and the what ifs.

Bugs hugs to all the mummy's and daddy's who have lost xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have experienced the heartbreak of a miscarriage, it was over 15 years ago.

Sending love to everyone, the mums and the dad's who suffer these heartbreaking moments.

NBVN x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Massive hugs to everyone mothers, fathers, grandparents and other members of families who have gone through this. Heartbreaking xx

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By *LiamMan
over a year ago

Midlands

"Can I just point out this is not about either gender suffering more than another. This is simply for anybody who has lost a child or baby. "
100%

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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

I'm sorry I haven't responded to each of individually. Your posts are sad and beautiful. I think if we could see all the candles most homes would be alight on Friday.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Got my candle ready, 23 years ago due to ectopic pregnancy. The tree I planted is growing strong in your memory x

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By *eyond PurityCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

I don't think anyone who has lost in this way, needs a week labelled to remember. It stays with you always.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had an ectopic pregnancy 22 years ago and it still cuts deeply all these years later.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't think anyone who has lost in this way, needs a week labelled to remember. It stays with you always.

Totally get that but it's awareness week so it's more about raising awareness of child and baby loss rather that suggesting it's a week in which people remember who they have lost.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thank you for posting this. Painful reminder of the 4 little angels I’ve lost.

I’ve just restarted fertility treatment after 3 years of not trying due to grief.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My little bean would be 4 on feb 8th. It’s so hard but days like these and awareness weeks remind me that I am not alone. So many women struggle. 1:4 women experience miscarriage or still birth.

We can support eachother.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My little bean would be 4 on feb 8th. It’s so hard but days like these and awareness weeks remind me that I am not alone. So many women struggle. 1:4 women experience miscarriage or still birth.

We can support eachother.

. "

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By *uxomBoobs195Woman
over a year ago

Rotherham

My little one should have been turning 8 next month and not a day has passed where he hasn't been on my mind.

My 4 year old has started school this September and that's brought on a different layer of grief I wasn't expecting- another big milestone I didn't get to enjoy with my first boy.

Will have my candle lit at 7pm on Friday xx

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By *emma HoldenTV/TS
over a year ago

Ramsey

You think you're on your own at first, like the only person it's ever happened to. It's only once you talk to people you find out how many people it affects. We lock the hurt away & clam up because we don't want to get upset in front of others.

But there can be bright spots. In frank terms my nutty funny 10 year old daughter wouldn't be with me now had my 2nd son lived. We only ever planned 2 kids. If you can summon the strength to try again it's scary & traumatic but I'm thankful everyday I have her here.

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