FabSwingers.com forum: What 3 items would you buy to make the cashier give you a funny look

By *usman 199 OP Man
over a year ago

Stockport

Good morning all

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

Custard pie, red rubber nose, plastic rose that squirts water

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *elle xWoman
over a year ago

Doire Theas

Three mushrooms individually bagged

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ebjonnsonMan
over a year ago

Maldon

Cucumber, lube, tissues.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *indergirlWoman
over a year ago

somewhere, someplace

Duct tape, marrow and vaseline

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *j321Man
over a year ago

Huddersfield

Duck tape cable ties and lube lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *tue555Man
over a year ago

Passed Beyond Reach

"Good morning all

Depends on the shop but here's three

Hair Products

Skinny Jeans

Guide to healthy eating

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Carrot condoms baby oil

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Cucumber, Vaseline and a packet of nuts

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Three mushrooms individually bagged

This has made me giggle belle

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *usman 199 OP Man
over a year ago

Stockport

"Carrot condoms baby oil"
Morning my friend

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *he Regina PhalangeWoman
over a year ago

Lanarkshire

Big kitchen knife, bin bags, bleach

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lube, a screw driver and a fish slice (egg flipper)

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Carrot condoms baby oilMorning my friend

Good morning

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Condoms vibe from Ann summers lady’s thong

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iger4uWoman
over a year ago

In my happy place

Cucumber

Duct tape

Cooking oil

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *elle xWoman
over a year ago

Doire Theas

"Three mushrooms individually bagged

This has made me giggle belle

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Drop sheet

Duct Tape

Chloroform

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *isspurplechesterWoman
over a year ago

Chester

Tractor monthly magazine, a box of tissues and a banana

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *nliveneTV/TS
over a year ago

Selby

One pineapple one aubergine and a three sim phone card

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ack688Man
over a year ago

abruzzo Italy (and UK)

Rope, duct tape, feather duster

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lube, rubber gloves and duct tape

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Going dark(er) here

Pregnancy test

Coat hangers

Bottle of whiskey

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Birthday card

Birthday cake mix

Rat poison

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *riar BelisseWoman
over a year ago

On Holibobs

Studded dog collar, spatula, baby oil

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *nliveneTV/TS
over a year ago

Selby

"Studded dog collar, spatula, baby oil"

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *stbury DavenportMan
over a year ago

Nottingham

I get funny looks whatever I buy. At least with online shopping the only person I have to take it from is the postman.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I get funny looks whatever I buy. At least with online shopping the only person I have to take it from is the postman. "

Postperson please

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A balaclava some rope & lube

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *stbury DavenportMan
over a year ago

Nottingham

"I get funny looks whatever I buy. At least with online shopping the only person I have to take it from is the postman.

Postperson please

Interestingly, the Royal Mail website seems to use "postman or postwoman", and occasionally "postal worker". I agree "postperson" would be better, but I think we should use "deliverer" as it sounds more appealingly dramatic. Certainly the Royal Mail has done far more for me than religion ever has.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *each69Woman
over a year ago

doncaster

"Duct tape, marrow and vaseline "

Now that’s funny Could’ve gone for a cucumber but had to go for the biggest thing a marrow lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Deep heat

A leek

And a 24 pack of toilet rolls

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *usman 199 OP Man
over a year ago

Stockport

"Deep heat

A leek

And a 24 pack of toilet rolls "

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

I did this once with a meet! I love a joke! We met at local tesco that has coffee shop It was the tesco I used to work at so was very well known I said will u play a joke with me he was well up for it! We got sqirty cream and choc sauce and condoms I chose the cashier bless her and I said to him see if she keeps a straight face! He played along well and said stuff like u think that b enough cream? Anyways she said I'm not even gonna ask jack! She knew me to well! Shd have chose a different cashier pmsl! X

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Nowt I don't like funny looks

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lube

More Lube

Wet Wipes

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *xhib12Man
over a year ago

Blyth

Toy gun, balaclava and a bag.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *orraine999Woman
over a year ago

Somewhere

Chocolate, a bottle of wine and a cucumber

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ack688Man
over a year ago

abruzzo Italy (and UK)

"Duct tape, marrow and vaseline

Now that’s funny Could’ve gone for a cucumber but had to go for the biggest thing a marrow lol

Everything is a dildo if you’re brave enough

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *r.SJMan
over a year ago

Wellingborough

Cucumber, KY and a copy Mens Health...

We used to request that from anyone at school that wanted to join our cigar club

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Barry White Greatest Hits on CD

A cucumber

Baby wipes

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *aucy tiggerWoman
over a year ago

Back where I belong

Condoms, pile cream and a cucumber!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *uietly_KinkyMan
over a year ago

High Wycombe

Lube, chilli oil and a cheese grater.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *andy_tomMan
over a year ago

wolverhampton

Duck tape cable ties and condoms.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Paracetamol covonia dry cough and a thermostat throw in a few coughs and sneezes she/he will be freaking out underneath

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ememberTheNameMan
over a year ago

barnsley

"Good morning all

A banana

Lube and condoms

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ememberTheNameMan
over a year ago

barnsley

"Tractor monthly magazine, a box of tissues and a banana

Tractor monthly always gives me the urge for a good nanaring

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

WD40, some latex gloves and a copy of good housekeeping

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ememberTheNameMan
over a year ago

barnsley

"Three mushrooms individually bagged

This is odd !

If I was queuing behind you I’d be sure you was a psycho

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

50 shades books

Giant cucumber

Large bottle of lube

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Cling film

Viagra

Sellotape

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *usman 199 OP Man
over a year ago

Stockport

"Cling film

Viagra

Sellotape"

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I recently went to the shop and ended up buying 3 phallic-resembling vegetables. Had no bag with me, so carried them home. I was oblivious until hearing the sniggers in the street

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *enny PR9TV/TS
over a year ago

Southport

A case of Stella.

Baby's nappies.

Baby milk formula.

Let the cashier scan the items, when she lets you know the total tell her you haven't got enough money and you'll have to leave the baby stuff. Add "The kid will have to wait till next week."

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *elle xWoman
over a year ago

Doire Theas

"Three mushrooms individually bagged

This is odd !

If I was queuing behind you I’d be sure you was a psycho

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Three mushrooms individually bagged

This is odd !

If I was queuing behind you I’d be sure you was a psycho

"
3 build a bears

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *mily36CWoman
over a year ago

Bedford (or anywhere beginning with B..!?)

Ski mask, duct tape ... tub of Veet

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *oubleswing2019Man
over a year ago

Colchester

"Nowt I don't like funny looks"

Agreed.

I also think cashiers have a hard enough job as it is, without making them uncomfortable or having a joke at their expense/misfortune. They're just trying to do a job when the general public have been even more toxic since Covid hit. They're not there for amusement.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ools and the brainCouple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

A huge bottle of laxative.

A extra large packet of imodium

And two dozen eggs.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ools and the brainCouple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

"Nowt I don't like funny looks

Agreed.

Crikey it's just a bit of fun no-one is actually going to do it.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Garden ornament, condoms and lube ….return the next day and purchase killer, monster energy drink and a pregnancy test

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *elle xWoman
over a year ago

Doire Theas

"Three mushrooms individually bagged

This is odd !

If I was queuing behind you I’d be sure you was a psycho

3 build a bears

Awww I’d love that

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *oubleswing2019Man
over a year ago

Colchester

Crikey it's just a bit of fun no-one is actually going to do it."

Phew, for my "pretend 3 items to take up to the checkout operator", I will have

3 copies of the Daily Mail.

When the operators asks if I'd like them bagged up I'll reply, "No thank you. Just put them straight in the bin".

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ools and the brainCouple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

Crikey it's just a bit of fun no-one is actually going to do it.

Phew, for my "pretend 3 items to take up to the checkout operator", I will have

3 copies of the Daily Mail.

When the operators asks if I'd like them bagged up I'll reply, "No thank you. Just put them straight in the bin"."

Badoomching

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ayjay218Man
over a year ago

Aberdeen

Saw, shovel and bag of lime

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ools and the brainCouple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

3 copies of 'fly fishing by JR Heartly'

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m torn between:

Pac-a-Mac

Polyethylene sheets

Axe

Duct tape

Spade

Ordinance Survey Map

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *usman 199 OP Man
over a year ago

Stockport

"I’m torn between:

Pac-a-Mac

Polyethylene sheets

Axe

Duct tape

Spade

Ordinance Survey Map"
have em all.I will say nothing

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rben112Man
over a year ago

worcester

Duct tape, cable ties and a spade

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rben112Man
over a year ago

worcester

But I guess any 3 items from the Aldi middle aisle

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Pack of knickers, tuna fish and zip lock bags

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *egasus NobMan
over a year ago

Wandsworth

Condom, Cucumber, lotion

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ayjay218Man
over a year ago

Aberdeen

Toilet roll, pasta & rice

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Got a funny look when I went through the till at Tesco with a large blow up paddling pool, 12 tins of custards and a tube of KY

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *mily36CWoman
over a year ago

Bedford (or anywhere beginning with B..!?)

Full camouflage suit, ladders and binoculars

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ooo wet tight hornyWoman
over a year ago

lancashire

Porn mag'..Durex vibe'..batteries...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Red wine, paracetamol and razor blades.

Didn't even card me.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *mily36CWoman
over a year ago

Bedford (or anywhere beginning with B..!?)

Cake mix, rat poison and 'with deepest sympathy' card

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

Cake mix, rat poison and 'with deepest sympathy' card

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry but I actually did this to a very young lady at Tesco.. Lube, cucumber and a cheesegrater.. Poor girl didn't know where to look.. Alcohol and mates dares are terrible things

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *mily36CWoman
over a year ago

Bedford (or anywhere beginning with B..!?)

"Sorry but I actually did this to a very young lady at Tesco.. Lube, cucumber and a cheesegrater.. Poor girl didn't know where to look.. Alcohol and mates dares are terrible things "

Cheesegrater is sounding painful

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *uvery30Woman
over a year ago

Gloucestershire

Depending on what way we going

1. Humor

2. Dark Humor

3. Dark Dark Humor

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Cheesegrater is sounding painful

I know but couldn't find any porn mags in tesco at 3am! lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *orthern StarsCouple
over a year ago

Durham

Balaclava, pair of gloves and a shovel

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *mily36CWoman
over a year ago

Bedford (or anywhere beginning with B..!?)

Cheesegrater is sounding painful

I know but couldn't find any porn mags in tesco at 3am! lol "

Oh no, talking about porn mags ...

...what about:

Porn mag, peanut butter and dog lead

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ham, snorkel and cricket glove

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *JB1954Man
over a year ago

Reading

Hand mixer with attachments

Enemas

Baby wipes

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *odgerMooreMan
over a year ago

Nowhere

Duct tape

Paper overalls

Spade

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *mily36CWoman
over a year ago

Bedford (or anywhere beginning with B..!?)

Gerbil, gerbil food and lube

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *alking HeadMan
over a year ago

Bolton

Cable ties, funnel, oven cleaner.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread