FabSwingers.com forum: What 3 items would you buy to make the cashier give you a funny look

By *usman 199 OP Man
over a year ago

Stockport

Good morning all

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

Custard pie, red rubber nose, plastic rose that squirts water

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By *elle xWoman
over a year ago

Doire Theas

Three mushrooms individually bagged

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By *ebjonnsonMan
over a year ago

Maldon

Cucumber, lube, tissues.

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By *indergirlWoman
over a year ago

somewhere, someplace

Duct tape, marrow and vaseline

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By *j321Man
over a year ago

Huddersfield

Duck tape cable ties and lube lol

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By *tue555Man
over a year ago

Passed Beyond Reach

"Good morning all

Depends on the shop but here's three

Hair Products

Skinny Jeans

Guide to healthy eating

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Carrot condoms baby oil

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Cucumber, Vaseline and a packet of nuts

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Three mushrooms individually bagged

This has made me giggle belle

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By *usman 199 OP Man
over a year ago

Stockport

"Carrot condoms baby oil"
Morning my friend

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By *he Regina PhalangeWoman
over a year ago

Lanarkshire

Big kitchen knife, bin bags, bleach

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lube, a screw driver and a fish slice (egg flipper)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Carrot condoms baby oilMorning my friend

Good morning

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Condoms vibe from Ann summers lady’s thong

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By *iger4uWoman
over a year ago

In my happy place

Cucumber

Duct tape

Cooking oil

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By *elle xWoman
over a year ago

Doire Theas

"Three mushrooms individually bagged

This has made me giggle belle

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Drop sheet

Duct Tape

Chloroform

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By *isspurplechesterWoman
over a year ago

Chester

Tractor monthly magazine, a box of tissues and a banana

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By *nliveneTV/TS
over a year ago

Selby

One pineapple one aubergine and a three sim phone card

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By *ack688Man
over a year ago

abruzzo Italy (and UK)

Rope, duct tape, feather duster

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lube, rubber gloves and duct tape

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Going dark(er) here

Pregnancy test

Coat hangers

Bottle of whiskey

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Birthday card

Birthday cake mix

Rat poison

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By *riar BelisseWoman
over a year ago

Delightful Bliss

Studded dog collar, spatula, baby oil

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By *nliveneTV/TS
over a year ago

Selby

"Studded dog collar, spatula, baby oil"

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By *stbury DavenportMan
over a year ago

Nottingham

I get funny looks whatever I buy. At least with online shopping the only person I have to take it from is the postman.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I get funny looks whatever I buy. At least with online shopping the only person I have to take it from is the postman. "

Postperson please

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A balaclava some rope & lube

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By *stbury DavenportMan
over a year ago

Nottingham

"I get funny looks whatever I buy. At least with online shopping the only person I have to take it from is the postman.

Postperson please

Interestingly, the Royal Mail website seems to use "postman or postwoman", and occasionally "postal worker". I agree "postperson" would be better, but I think we should use "deliverer" as it sounds more appealingly dramatic. Certainly the Royal Mail has done far more for me than religion ever has.

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By *each69Woman
over a year ago

doncaster

"Duct tape, marrow and vaseline "

Now that’s funny Could’ve gone for a cucumber but had to go for the biggest thing a marrow lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Deep heat

A leek

And a 24 pack of toilet rolls

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By *usman 199 OP Man
over a year ago

Stockport

"Deep heat

A leek

And a 24 pack of toilet rolls "

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

I did this once with a meet! I love a joke! We met at local tesco that has coffee shop It was the tesco I used to work at so was very well known I said will u play a joke with me he was well up for it! We got sqirty cream and choc sauce and condoms I chose the cashier bless her and I said to him see if she keeps a straight face! He played along well and said stuff like u think that b enough cream? Anyways she said I'm not even gonna ask jack! She knew me to well! Shd have chose a different cashier pmsl! X

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Nowt I don't like funny looks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lube

More Lube

Wet Wipes

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By *xhib12Man
over a year ago

Blyth

Toy gun, balaclava and a bag.

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By *orraine999Woman
over a year ago

Somewhere

Chocolate, a bottle of wine and a cucumber

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By *ack688Man
over a year ago

abruzzo Italy (and UK)

"Duct tape, marrow and vaseline

Now that’s funny Could’ve gone for a cucumber but had to go for the biggest thing a marrow lol

Everything is a dildo if you’re brave enough

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By *r.SJMan
over a year ago

Wellingborough

Cucumber, KY and a copy Mens Health...

We used to request that from anyone at school that wanted to join our cigar club

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Barry White Greatest Hits on CD

A cucumber

Baby wipes

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By *aucy tiggerWoman
over a year ago

Back where I belong

Condoms, pile cream and a cucumber!

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By *uietly_KinkyMan
over a year ago

High Wycombe

Lube, chilli oil and a cheese grater.

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By *andy_tomMan
over a year ago

wolverhampton

Duck tape cable ties and condoms.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Paracetamol covonia dry cough and a thermostat throw in a few coughs and sneezes she/he will be freaking out underneath

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By *ememberTheNameMan
over a year ago

barnsley

"Good morning all

A banana

Lube and condoms

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By *ememberTheNameMan
over a year ago

barnsley

"Tractor monthly magazine, a box of tissues and a banana

Tractor monthly always gives me the urge for a good nanaring

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

WD40, some latex gloves and a copy of good housekeeping

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By *ememberTheNameMan
over a year ago

barnsley

"Three mushrooms individually bagged

This is odd !

If I was queuing behind you I’d be sure you was a psycho

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

50 shades books

Giant cucumber

Large bottle of lube

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Cling film

Viagra

Sellotape

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By *usman 199 OP Man
over a year ago

Stockport

"Cling film

Viagra

Sellotape"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I recently went to the shop and ended up buying 3 phallic-resembling vegetables. Had no bag with me, so carried them home. I was oblivious until hearing the sniggers in the street

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By *enny PR9TV/TS
over a year ago

Southport

A case of Stella.

Baby's nappies.

Baby milk formula.

Let the cashier scan the items, when she lets you know the total tell her you haven't got enough money and you'll have to leave the baby stuff. Add "The kid will have to wait till next week."

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By *elle xWoman
over a year ago

Doire Theas

"Three mushrooms individually bagged

This is odd !

If I was queuing behind you I’d be sure you was a psycho

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Three mushrooms individually bagged

This is odd !

If I was queuing behind you I’d be sure you was a psycho

"
3 build a bears

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By *mily36CWoman
over a year ago

Bedford (or anywhere beginning with B..!?)

Ski mask, duct tape ... tub of Veet

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By *oubleswing2019Man
over a year ago

Colchester

"Nowt I don't like funny looks"

Agreed.

I also think cashiers have a hard enough job as it is, without making them uncomfortable or having a joke at their expense/misfortune. They're just trying to do a job when the general public have been even more toxic since Covid hit. They're not there for amusement.

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By *ools and the brainCouple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

A huge bottle of laxative.

A extra large packet of imodium

And two dozen eggs.

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By *ools and the brainCouple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

"Nowt I don't like funny looks

Agreed.

Crikey it's just a bit of fun no-one is actually going to do it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Garden ornament, condoms and lube ….return the next day and purchase killer, monster energy drink and a pregnancy test

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By *elle xWoman
over a year ago

Doire Theas

"Three mushrooms individually bagged

This is odd !

If I was queuing behind you I’d be sure you was a psycho

3 build a bears

Awww I’d love that

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By *oubleswing2019Man
over a year ago

Colchester

Crikey it's just a bit of fun no-one is actually going to do it."

Phew, for my "pretend 3 items to take up to the checkout operator", I will have

3 copies of the Daily Mail.

When the operators asks if I'd like them bagged up I'll reply, "No thank you. Just put them straight in the bin".

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By *ools and the brainCouple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

Crikey it's just a bit of fun no-one is actually going to do it.

Phew, for my "pretend 3 items to take up to the checkout operator", I will have

3 copies of the Daily Mail.

When the operators asks if I'd like them bagged up I'll reply, "No thank you. Just put them straight in the bin"."

Badoomching

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By *ayjay218Man
over a year ago

Aberdeen

Saw, shovel and bag of lime

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By *ools and the brainCouple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

3 copies of 'fly fishing by JR Heartly'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m torn between:

Pac-a-Mac

Polyethylene sheets

Axe

Duct tape

Spade

Ordinance Survey Map

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By *usman 199 OP Man
over a year ago

Stockport

"I’m torn between:

Pac-a-Mac

Polyethylene sheets

Axe

Duct tape

Spade

Ordinance Survey Map"
have em all.I will say nothing

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By *rben112Man
over a year ago

worcester

Duct tape, cable ties and a spade

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By *rben112Man
over a year ago

worcester

But I guess any 3 items from the Aldi middle aisle

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Pack of knickers, tuna fish and zip lock bags

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By *egasus NobMan
over a year ago

Wandsworth

Condom, Cucumber, lotion

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By *ayjay218Man
over a year ago

Aberdeen

Toilet roll, pasta & rice

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Got a funny look when I went through the till at Tesco with a large blow up paddling pool, 12 tins of custards and a tube of KY

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By *mily36CWoman
over a year ago

Bedford (or anywhere beginning with B..!?)

Full camouflage suit, ladders and binoculars

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By *ooo wet tight hornyWoman
over a year ago

lancashire

Porn mag'..Durex vibe'..batteries...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Red wine, paracetamol and razor blades.

Didn't even card me.

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By *mily36CWoman
over a year ago

Bedford (or anywhere beginning with B..!?)

Cake mix, rat poison and 'with deepest sympathy' card

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

Cake mix, rat poison and 'with deepest sympathy' card

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry but I actually did this to a very young lady at Tesco.. Lube, cucumber and a cheesegrater.. Poor girl didn't know where to look.. Alcohol and mates dares are terrible things

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By *mily36CWoman
over a year ago

Bedford (or anywhere beginning with B..!?)

"Sorry but I actually did this to a very young lady at Tesco.. Lube, cucumber and a cheesegrater.. Poor girl didn't know where to look.. Alcohol and mates dares are terrible things "

Cheesegrater is sounding painful

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By *uvery30Woman
over a year ago

Gloucestershire

Depending on what way we going

1. Humor

2. Dark Humor

3. Dark Dark Humor

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Cheesegrater is sounding painful

I know but couldn't find any porn mags in tesco at 3am! lol

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By *orthern StarsCouple
over a year ago

Durham

Balaclava, pair of gloves and a shovel

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By *mily36CWoman
over a year ago

Bedford (or anywhere beginning with B..!?)

Cheesegrater is sounding painful

I know but couldn't find any porn mags in tesco at 3am! lol "

Oh no, talking about porn mags ...

...what about:

Porn mag, peanut butter and dog lead

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ham, snorkel and cricket glove

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By *JB1954Man
over a year ago

Reading

Hand mixer with attachments

Enemas

Baby wipes

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By *odgerMooreMan
over a year ago

Nowhere

Duct tape

Paper overalls

Spade

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By *mily36CWoman
over a year ago

Bedford (or anywhere beginning with B..!?)

Gerbil, gerbil food and lube

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By *alking HeadMan
over a year ago

Bolton

Cable ties, funnel, oven cleaner.

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