FabSwingers.com forum: When you take it off fab.....

By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

A Sunday pondering from my bathtub (and not aimed at anyone at all, just a musing)....

So. You know when there's someone you like.... and they like you.... and you have a private conversation on here about meeting then get all excited and move it "off fab"

And you talk. And talk. Do you find that you've talked your way into the friendzone? That actually meeting for the potential sexy times is absolutely not on the cards any more?

I've had this happen a few times now, and actually it has been really, really good. My best mate started out as a potential sexy times meet and yet.... never happened. Never going to happen. I've slept with him more than any other man on fab and we've never even sniffed at sex with each other (and he's all sexy n shiz but just

I've also had it where the frustration and sexual tension has built and built to the point of "I must have you now". So swings and roundabouts I guess.

Is there a way of stopping that happening? Are you happy with it happening? Do you avoid it by just chatting a little then leaping into the sexy times? Is it just a lockdown and post lockdown thing where we couldn't and now we can we don't?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I seem to talk everything into friends zone

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By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

wokingham

This is why I hate planning meets too far ahead.

There’s a delicate balance between ghosting eachother and talking too much that the meet is either boring or expectations are too high.

Short notice social are better. Everyone has time for a 30 minute drink, and if you don’t. Message when you do. I’ll learn more about someone in a 30 minute drink than I will in weeks of txting. So let’s not fool eachother

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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"I seem to talk everything into friends zone

I sent you boobs. You ain't there yet.

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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"This is why I hate planning meets too far ahead.

There’s a delicate balance between ghosting eachother and talking too much that the meet is either boring or expectations are too high.

That's fair. I don't necessarily agree, because sometimes not everyone has time for a 30 minute drink.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I seem to talk everything into friends zone

I sent you boobs. You ain't there yet."

Keep the sexy times rolling

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By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

wokingham

"This is why I hate planning meets too far ahead.

There’s a delicate balance between ghosting eachother and talking too much that the meet is either boring or expectations are too high.

That's fair. I don't necessarily agree, because sometimes not everyone has time for a 30 minute drink."

Everyone does, or they aren’t meeting.

I don’t mean right now. But just eventually. Don’t bore eachother with messages until that eventually turns up

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I prefer being friends. If anything ever happens you are more comfortable with each other.

For me there has to be a real connection

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By *inger_SnapWoman
over a year ago

Hampshire/Dorset

I think you have to get down to it pretty quickly, to avoid that... I find I just lose interest, but I have a short attention span.

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By *xydadbodMan
over a year ago

Milton keynes

I don't think so. Not all talks can be about sex all the time. Think I tried that and sometimes just chatting about everything and anything can reveal some connections too. I was quite surprised to find we had quite a lot in common so it made that wait for a meet that much more worthwhile. Hope that makes sense

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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"I seem to talk everything into friends zone

I sent you boobs. You ain't there yet.

Keep the sexy times rolling

Yeah baby

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By *ily WhiteWoman
over a year ago

I think I'm too blunt for that...if I've been interested in meeting then I've always made it very plain early on. It's scared some people off because apparently I'm "too forward" though

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By *oveGiving44Man
over a year ago

Bristol

This happened to me once. We couldn't quite settle on a date to meet. It went on for a few weeks and by the time we could arrange something it was too late: friend zone!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Only once so far and that wasn’t even taking it off here

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By *olly_chromaticTV/TS
over a year ago

Stockport

Happens to me lots, some of my very best friends are people that I've first chatted to here on the forums, and it's gone to friendship without sex ever happening. Maybe it's just the way I am, maybe it's because I fit into a difficult sexual dynamic. But I value genuine friendship much more highly than a quick shag (though yes, sometimes I do feel that the chance would be a fine thing).

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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"This is why I hate planning meets too far ahead.

There’s a delicate balance between ghosting eachother and talking too much that the meet is either boring or expectations are too high.

That's fair. I don't necessarily agree, because sometimes not everyone has time for a 30 minute drink.

Everyone does, or they aren’t meeting.

I don’t mean right now. But just eventually. Don’t bore eachother with messages until that eventually turns up "

But that 30 minute drink could involve 2 hours of travel potentially. Or more.

So are you saying send the message, know you want each other and then that's it until you've got time?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I friendzone EVERYONE, just happens. I’m fine with it though

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By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

wokingham

"This is why I hate planning meets too far ahead.

There’s a delicate balance between ghosting eachother and talking too much that the meet is either boring or expectations are too high.

That's fair. I don't necessarily agree, because sometimes not everyone has time for a 30 minute drink.

Everyone does, or they aren’t meeting.

I don’t mean right now. But just eventually. Don’t bore eachother with messages until that eventually turns up

But that 30 minute drink could involve 2 hours of travel potentially. Or more.

So are you saying send the message, know you want each other and then that's it until you've got time? "

Yeah basically. I mean personally I wouldn’t travel 2 hours for anyone, but that’s me

But otherwise, I think it’s best to just establish your both interested, then leave it until you can both meet

I’m not overly keen on loads of txting.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This is why I hate planning meets too far ahead.

There’s a delicate balance between ghosting eachother and talking too much that the meet is either boring or expectations are too high.

Agreed. Absolutely.

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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"I prefer being friends. If anything ever happens you are more comfortable with each other.

For me there has to be a real connection "

I do too. But I do wonder at what point it goes from "we are friends who want to be naked and sexy" to "we are friends who don't give a toss if we are naked or wearing pjs as long as we get 8 hours sleep and if you wake up with a morning glory I'm gonna flick it away from me". Y'know?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do this a lot ….. sex talk is only so much but I like to have a connection with someone, then that connection comes to how’s the family and you start talking about life….. then your in the friend zone …. But it’s good as it’s good to talk xxx

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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"I think you have to get down to it pretty quickly, to avoid that... I find I just lose interest, but I have a short attention span."

I think I found patience (and frustration) over lockdown. I used to have a shorter span I think.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I prefer being friends. If anything ever happens you are more comfortable with each other.

For me there has to be a real connection

I find this fascinating. It's happened to me but it's also happened that when the mood hits, it HITS

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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"I don't think so. Not all talks can be about sex all the time. Think I tried that and sometimes just chatting about everything and anything can reveal some connections too. I was quite surprised to find we had quite a lot in common so it made that wait for a meet that much more worthwhile. Hope that makes sense "

It absolutely does. That's the other way it has gone for me... more connection and friendship yet no friendzone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I prefer being friends. If anything ever happens you are more comfortable with each other.

For me there has to be a real connection

It will happen at different times with different people but when it happens you both know. I just enjoy the conversation and expect nothing. If it happens it happens

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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"I think I'm too blunt for that...if I've been interested in meeting then I've always made it very plain early on. It's scared some people off because apparently I'm "too forward" though

Ugh. That fine line.... but at least you know if they can't handle the blunt I guess.

I tend to waver from subtle as a wrecking ball to far too shy to even admit there is an attraction.

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By *inger_SnapWoman
over a year ago

Hampshire/Dorset

"I think you have to get down to it pretty quickly, to avoid that... I find I just lose interest, but I have a short attention span.

I think I found patience (and frustration) over lockdown. I used to have a shorter span I think."

Patience is a virtue... Just not one of mine

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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"This happened to me once. We couldn't quite settle on a date to meet. It went on for a few weeks and by the time we could arrange something it was too late: friend zone!"

Was the chemistry not there when you met?

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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"Only once so far and that wasn’t even taking it off here

You move quickly! That's a positive.... now just move in the opposite direction.....

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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"Happens to me lots, some of my very best friends are people that I've first chatted to here on the forums, and it's gone to friendship without sex ever happening. Maybe it's just the way I am, maybe it's because I fit into a difficult sexual dynamic. But I value genuine friendship much more highly than a quick shag (though yes, sometimes I do feel that the chance would be a fine thing).

I do too. Genuine friendship is so important and I've been lucky like you. Very lucky.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Only once so far and that wasn’t even taking it off here

You move quickly! That's a positive.... now just move in the opposite direction....."

Most don’t even get to the point where it can be friendzone

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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"I friendzone EVERYONE, just happens. I’m fine with it though "

I'm completely fine with it too.... just musing lol.

Do you think the friendzone can ever be "escaped"?

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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"I do this a lot ….. sex talk is only so much but I like to have a connection with someone, then that connection comes to how’s the family and you start talking about life….. then your in the friend zone …. But it’s good as it’s good to talk xxx"

I don't think that connection always leads to friendzone. I've got a friend who I've got that connection with and we talk about life a lot. But we also fully intend to have naked sexy times when we can.

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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"I prefer being friends. If anything ever happens you are more comfortable with each other.

For me there has to be a real connection

I find this fascinating. It's happened to me but it's also happened that when the mood hits, it HITS"

Oh jesus. I do hope it doesn't hit with him and me. That would be weird. And awkward

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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"I prefer being friends. If anything ever happens you are more comfortable with each other.

For me there has to be a real connection

It will happen at different times with different people but when it happens you both know. I just enjoy the conversation and expect nothing. If it happens it happens "

What if you don't both know? That would be awkward....

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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"I think you have to get down to it pretty quickly, to avoid that... I find I just lose interest, but I have a short attention span.

I think I found patience (and frustration) over lockdown. I used to have a shorter span I think.

Patience is a virtue... Just not one of mine

Not gonna beat around the bush here.... it wouldn't be one of mine if it didn't need to be

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ve had meets like that and the only thing that I must say was the big pressure I felt before meeting but a lot of the times I say that knowing that somehow we vibed, was a good indication that we’d have get on as people even when sexy time was over and wanted to go grab breakfast in the morning , say. Or take them round the city for a night tour (this has happened) x x

We’d have had the best laughs cos of I knew already a lot about them and what they liked

I have fond memories of meets like that to be fair.

So yeah, I don’t know what my point is

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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"Only once so far and that wasn’t even taking it off here

You move quickly! That's a positive.... now just move in the opposite direction.....

Most don’t even get to the point where it can be friendzone

So send messages! Get into the friendzone

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By *riar BelisseWoman
over a year ago

On Holibobs

If I have feelings that I want to keep him then I push him into the friendzone but this one comes with benefits

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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"I’ve had meets like that and the only thing that I must say was the big pressure I felt before meeting but a lot of the times I say that knowing that somehow we vibed, was a good indication that we’d have get on as people even when sexy time was over and wanted to go grab breakfast in the morning , say. Or take them round the city for a night tour (this has happened) x x

We’d have had the best laughs cos of I knew already a lot about them and what they liked

I have fond memories of meets like that to be fair.

So yeah, I don’t know what my point is

So were these meets where sexy time didn't happen?

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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"If I have feelings that I want to keep him then I push him into the friendzone but this one comes with benefits

That's my favourite friendzone.... but I mean the no benefit kind of zone.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This is why I hate planning meets too far ahead.

There’s a delicate balance between ghosting eachother and talking too much that the meet is either boring or expectations are too high.

Same. I won't do sex chat with someone I haven't met in person.

Also no harm in meeting someone as a friend.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Only once so far and that wasn’t even taking it off here

You move quickly! That's a positive.... now just move in the opposite direction.....

Most don’t even get to the point where it can be friendzone

So send messages! Get into the friendzone

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

Not into the friend zone as such but I lose the excitement that I’ve built up in my head around them. It feels a bit flat.

Then when we meet it’s either magic or meh.

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By *riar BelisseWoman
over a year ago

On Holibobs

"If I have feelings that I want to keep him then I push him into the friendzone but this one comes with benefits

That's my favourite friendzone.... but I mean the no benefit kind of zone....."

If I push them into that Friendzone then I do not find any attraction to them, when we meet if there is also no chemistry then in they go and there is no coming out

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We’d have had the best laughs cos of I knew already a lot about them and what they liked

I have fond memories of meets like that to be fair.

So yeah, I don’t know what my point is

So were these meets where sexy time didn't happen?"

It was more like… don’t push for sexy time because it might spoil things , but yeah sexy times happens always … some-fucking-how

Even when refraining x

But I didn’t promise it at all, it just happened

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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"This is why I hate planning meets too far ahead.

There’s a delicate balance between ghosting eachother and talking too much that the meet is either boring or expectations are too high.

Same. I won't do sex chat with someone I haven't met in person.

Also no harm in meeting someone as a friend. "

Absolutely no harm.... we need to have a coffee when the stars align!

Doesn't even need to be sex chat... although actually that's sent people into the friendzone on occasion

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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"Not into the friend zone as such but I lose the excitement that I’ve built up in my head around them. It feels a bit flat.

Then when we meet it’s either magic or meh."

I get that totally!

I always go in with no promises or expectations. Just hopes

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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"If I have feelings that I want to keep him then I push him into the friendzone but this one comes with benefits

That's my favourite friendzone.... but I mean the no benefit kind of zone.....

If I push them into that Friendzone then I do not find any attraction to them, when we meet if there is also no chemistry then in they go and there is no coming out "

You're still my hero. I can't wait for Northampton!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Also I find sometimes talking lots, sometimes makes you more invested in people if you vibe, you know that dynamite feeling? X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Depends on the chat direction

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By *heGateKeeperMan
over a year ago

Stratford

Show me your tits x

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

Erm not really. I'm not sure how much I believe in the friend zone (but I don't want to derail the thread!).

I don't know if I do things the wrong way but I need to be friends in order to find someone more sexually attractive in more than a bit of a quick fap way (like Hiddleston). So people can't be "friendzoned" because that's where they start, if that makes sense. Sometimes it changes (I almost typed goes further but relationship anarchy!) and has a sexual element but that only happens if I have a sort of "connection" with them through shared things and conversations.

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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

If you’ve talked yourself into the friendzone you were likely always going to end up there and thats not always a bad thing. It just means that the conversation turned from sexy sexy talk to more meaningful conversation.

Id rather have a friend than a one off meet, as that friend will bring me more happiness than a few hours of play.

There are plenty of people on here I have no desire to get dirty with, but would relish the opportunity to chew the fat over dinner with.

As well as a few that I’d enjoy getting dirty with during dinner!

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By *indergirlWoman
over a year ago

somewhere, someplace

"A Sunday pondering from my bathtub (and not aimed at anyone at all, just a musing)....

So. You know when there's someone you like.... and they like you.... and you have a private conversation on here about meeting then get all excited and move it "off fab"

And you talk. And talk. Do you find that you've talked your way into the friendzone? That actually meeting for the potential sexy times is absolutely not on the cards any more?

I've also had it where the frustration and sexual tension has built and built to the point of "I must have you now". So swings and roundabouts I guess.

You know my answer to that

pretty much all the time

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By *inky Biscuit DunkerMan
over a year ago

Gloucestershire

It’s a tricky one. Talking is good and I love to know I can have a laugh with that person. That’s a big part of fab for me. Knowing that after the (for example) bent over the desk action, you can still have a good laugh too. Basically friends with benefits.

Sure there’s the danger that constant nattering causes the sexual side of things to diminish but, still a friend gained though

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By *uriousscouserWoman
over a year ago

Wirral

"Also I find sometimes talking lots, sometimes makes you more invested in people if you vibe, you know that dynamite feeling? X"

This is it for me. The person I'm closest to on here I have a lot of love for, even though we've not met. The better I know him the more I like him and the more I'd like to jump his bones. We might never meet, but if we do I'd still fancy the arse off him (whether he would feel the same way is subject to considerable doubt though!).

I do get the friendzone thing, and it's something I mentioned at a social last week. I've been having socials for well over 12 months with one guy and I wondered if it would feel awkward at this point to push it further than a social.

I'm not sure whether FWB in our case will work after spending so long on the friendship without even mentioning the benefits!

We will give it a bash at some point, but at least there's enough of a friendship there that if it does feel awkward I think we'll be able to laugh about it and move past it to retain the friendship rather than finding it mortifying and cutting contact.

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

I very rarely take it off fab these days. A few people I’ve met and trust have my WhatsApp. Used to have loads on kik but changed my kik last year and only have a few people now really. I’ve made more friends than anything else on here which I didn’t really expect. Like Meli said I have to be friends first before anything else happens anyway. The only time it’s stayed as friends is if we’ve met and not really felt it. I don’t tend to take it off here if I don’t intend to meet someone x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Also I find sometimes talking lots, sometimes makes you more invested in people if you vibe, you know that dynamite feeling? X

I'm not sure whether FWB in our case will work after spending so long on the friendship without even mentioning the benefits!

Totes agree!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like to build a connection with someone that isn't just based on sex, however I like to keep the chat flirty to avoid ending up thinking of him as a mate only

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By * Sophie xTV/TS
over a year ago

Derby

Mine always end up in the friendzone even though I often fancy the pants off them

I'm too much if a friendly chatty twit instead of being all sex talk as I'm shut at that hahaa

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

I think I'm probably the most unsexy person in the world. I'm rubbish at flirting and all that. So if I didn't speak as a friend I wouldn't speak at all.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can so relate to this!

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By *heOriginalLoisWoman
over a year ago

London

I have got to the point where I don't even chat on here with men let alone take it off elsewhere

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By *EAT..85Woman
over a year ago

Nottingham

I generally only take it off here if a meet is set. I have casual short lived conversations with people (usually off the back of threads), and I have conversations where I'll push for a meet or the conversation dies through my lack of investment.

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By *ose and her beastCouple
over a year ago

Watford

I don't think so if your already swinging surely sex with friends is even more of a benefit I don't think you can get too friendly unless it's just leading no where

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I seem to talk everything into friends zone

Yep, the only ladies I talk to on here, that's how it's gone.....

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By *xydadbodMan
over a year ago

Milton keynes

"Mine always end up in the friendzone even though I often fancy the pants off them

I'm too much if a friendly chatty twit instead of being all sex talk as I'm shut at that hahaa"

Nothing wrong with being chatty though. I chat crap most of the time as it is.. its the shutting up bit I need to work on haha

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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"Also I find sometimes talking lots, sometimes makes you more invested in people if you vibe, you know that dynamite feeling? X"

It can do. It does often. But that's not the question.... it's the other end of the scale.

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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"Depends on the chat direction"

Can you not have all kinds of chat and still want to rip clothes off each other then?

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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"Show me your tits x"

Again? Fine

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Depends on the chat direction

Can you not have all kinds of chat and still want to rip clothes off each other then?"
until you start talking grans medical needs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Depends on the chat direction

Can you not have all kinds of chat and still want to rip clothes off each other then?"

I'd rip the clothes off all of them given the opportunity, all except one who I could never contemplate sex with now. It would be too weird.

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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"Erm not really. I'm not sure how much I believe in the friend zone (but I don't want to derail the thread!).

That's exactly how I see it. The initial "aren't you attractive" moment of looking either builds with the friendship into more than an appreciation of the looks or doesn't. But even when there is a sexual desire built, sometimes I find the friendzone develops more.

As for whether that exists or not, I firmly believe it does. I just don't think there is always no way back. People change after all.

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By *odgerMooreMan
over a year ago

Nowhere

Can go either way - either sexual tension or meh just a mate. Again its timing and chemistry xx

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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"If you’ve talked yourself into the friendzone you were likely always going to end up there and thats not always a bad thing. It just means that the conversation turned from sexy sexy talk to more meaningful conversation.

Id rather have a friend than a one off meet, as that friend will bring me more happiness than a few hours of play.

There are plenty of people on here I have no desire to get dirty with, but would relish the opportunity to chew the fat over dinner with.

As well as a few that I’d enjoy getting dirty with during dinner!

I never expected to be a person with a lot of friends. But I seem to have gathered more than I ever hoped for from here. From those I'd originally thought I'd have sexy time with and won't be, to those who are amazing friends with (or likely to be with or have been with) benefits, tonthose who have never been anything but friends. And I'd keep all of them over a quick squelch and a squeeze any day.

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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"A Sunday pondering from my bathtub (and not aimed at anyone at all, just a musing)....

So. You know when there's someone you like.... and they like you.... and you have a private conversation on here about meeting then get all excited and move it "off fab"

And you talk. And talk. Do you find that you've talked your way into the friendzone? That actually meeting for the potential sexy times is absolutely not on the cards any more?

I've also had it where the frustration and sexual tension has built and built to the point of "I must have you now". So swings and roundabouts I guess.

You know my answer to that

pretty much all the time "

*PRETTY MUCH* being the important part gorgeous xx

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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"It’s a tricky one. Talking is good and I love to know I can have a laugh with that person. That’s a big part of fab for me. Knowing that after the (for example) bent over the desk action, you can still have a good laugh too. Basically friends with benefits.

Sure there’s the danger that constant nattering causes the sexual side of things to diminish but, still a friend gained though

Do you think the odd pervy comment during constant battering keeps that at bay?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I agree with that quick, unexpected meets are better. You know where you stand if they don't show up.

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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"Also I find sometimes talking lots, sometimes makes you more invested in people if you vibe, you know that dynamite feeling? X

I'm not sure whether FWB in our case will work after spending so long on the friendship without even mentioning the benefits!

That's the type of thing I mean.... you've got the one where the attraction has grown, but also the possible "might not work out".

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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"I very rarely take it off fab these days. A few people I’ve met and trust have my WhatsApp. Used to have loads on kik but changed my kik last year and only have a few people now really. I’ve made more friends than anything else on here which I didn’t really expect. Like Meli said I have to be friends first before anything else happens anyway. The only time it’s stayed as friends is if we’ve met and not really felt it. I don’t tend to take it off here if I don’t intend to meet someone x"

Is that meet, or meet with the potential for more than a social though? I chat to several people off here who I've no intention of any more than a social with after all....

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

"Erm not really. I'm not sure how much I believe in the friend zone (but I don't want to derail the thread!).

As for whether that exists or not, I firmly believe it does. I just don't think there is always no way back. People change after all."

It's not quite what I said, we see it differently. Friendship first for me, then I might have the aren't you attractive moments (unless you're Loki and it's just undeniable). I don't find the friendship zone develops more because for me that's got to be the foundation. The sexual attraction is an erection plonked on. Nora and Saff are two who I know see it in the same way as me.

I never said there is no way back - my closest friend on here, we've flirted with possibility of more, swung sideways to friendship, flirted a bit etc. People do change and I'm a firm believer in that but I don't believe in a friendship zone.

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By *ptowncoupleCouple
over a year ago

Sutton

"I think you have to get down to it pretty quickly, to avoid that... I find I just lose interest, but I have a short attention span."

We are straight to it. Few messages, cam chat to see if we want to arrange a meet. Then quick drink and down to it, otherwise it doesn't happen as feels like a friendship.

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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"I like to build a connection with someone that isn't just based on sex, however I like to keep the chat flirty to avoid ending up thinking of him as a mate only"

That's the thing I mean.... the connection not based on sex. But the flirty chat keeps the spark alive. Unless it doesn't.

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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"Mine always end up in the friendzone even though I often fancy the pants off them

I'm too much if a friendly chatty twit instead of being all sex talk as I'm shut at that hahaa"

You're not though! You do both very well!

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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"I think I'm probably the most unsexy person in the world. I'm rubbish at flirting and all that. So if I didn't speak as a friend I wouldn't speak at all.

So how do you stop from losing the attraction? The attraction you have for the other person I mean.

Plus... not bad at flirting!

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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"I have got to the point where I don't even chat on here with men let alone take it off elsewhere

You could if you wanted to though

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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"I generally only take it off here if a meet is set. I have casual short lived conversations with people (usually off the back of threads), and I have conversations where I'll push for a meet or the conversation dies through my lack of investment. "

Just a potential sexy times meet?

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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"I don't think so if your already swinging surely sex with friends is even more of a benefit I don't think you can get too friendly unless it's just leading no where"

Well yes. But I mean the ones where the sex spark dies and the friendship is remaining

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By *EAT..85Woman
over a year ago

Nottingham

Just a potential sexy times meet?"

Nope. I do lots of social only meets too. I like meeting new people. But I dont need an endless list of pen pals.

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By *heOriginalLoisWoman
over a year ago

London

"I have got to the point where I don't even chat on here with men let alone take it off elsewhere

You could if you wanted to though

I have lost the mojo and too many other things outside of fab that need my time more.

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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"Depends on the chat direction

Can you not have all kinds of chat and still want to rip clothes off each other then?until you start talking grans medical needs "

I don't know. Recently my dad had a heart attack and a friend of mine has put me through the wringer with his mental health. I've talked to a friend about all of it in some depth. And we still want to rip each others clothes off. Yet another friend and I rarely talk about anything other than sex and will never be doing that with each other, despite the fact there always has been a spark and likely always will be. We just stopped thinking of each other like that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't think I believe there is such a thing as ending up in the friendzone if there's a true sexual connection with someone. I've fairly recently met someone who I'd been chatting to for about 4 years. For various reasons we just never quite made it to meeting but when we did... wow! Definitely no friendzoning

If I feel like it's moving into friendship territory then I guess we weren't that into each other and sexy times wouldn't have been that great, so I move on.

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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"Depends on the chat direction

Can you not have all kinds of chat and still want to rip clothes off each other then?

I'd rip the clothes off all of them given the opportunity, all except one who I could never contemplate sex with now. It would be too weird."

That's the thing I'm talking about.... that switch in the brain that just says "no, not now"

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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"Can go either way - either sexual tension or meh just a mate. Again its timing and chemistry xx "

Maybe that's it. The timing.

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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"I agree with that quick, unexpected meets are better. You know where you stand if they don't show up."

Fair enough!

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By *amie HantsWoman
over a year ago

Atlantis

I’m too unsociable to take it off fab. I have one person on telegram but that’s not X rated, that’s chatting about anything and everything and I adore it!

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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

Just a potential sexy times meet?

Nope. I do lots of social only meets too. I like meeting new people. But I dont need an endless list of pen pals. "

I didn't mean that in any way to offend btw Heat.... was just clarifying. As "meet" can mean one thing to some and another to others...

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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"I don't think I believe there is such a thing as ending up in the friendzone if there's a true sexual connection with someone. I've fairly recently met someone who I'd been chatting to for about 4 years. For various reasons we just never quite made it to meeting but when we did... wow! Definitely no friendzoning

If I feel like it's moving into friendship territory then I guess we weren't that into each other and sexy times wouldn't have been that great, so I move on. "

That's pretty darn wonderful.... 4 years! Wow!

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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"I’m too unsociable to take it off fab. I have one person on telegram but that’s not X rated, that’s chatting about anything and everything and I adore it! "

That's perfect then

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By *izandpaulCouple
over a year ago

merseyside

We tend to meet asap for a social, then meet for fun or not, as the case maybe.

Don't really go for drawn out exchanges.

That's why parties, clubs and swingers holidays suit us best.

But, as always, each to his or her own.

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By *uriousscouserWoman
over a year ago

Wirral

"I like to build a connection with someone that isn't just based on sex, however I like to keep the chat flirty to avoid ending up thinking of him as a mate only

That's the thing I mean.... the connection not based on sex. But the flirty chat keeps the spark alive. Unless it doesn't."

I'm a bear of little brain this afternoon and I'm not expressing myself well at all.

I'm shit at sex talk and flirty chat, but I'm great at general inanity and bizarre conversational diversions. I'm happy to chat to the people I'm meeting (it's hard to escape my wittering away at times!) but it's never going to be flirty chat.

For me it all starts with getting to know someone well enough to want to see them naked, which tends to entail some sort of friendship. Sometimes the friendship is relatively superficial and turns quickly to sex, occasionally it's a much deeper friendship with real love and care behind it. Either way, the friendship for me is what keeps the spark there.

If that ends up too close a friendship for sex to be comfortable then I don't think there's any way to resolve the situation as such, other than laughing it off and continuing to value the friendship.

In general though the better I get to know someone and the closer the friendship I have with them, the more I want to have sex with them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My friends are people I don't want to have sex with

I'm not keen on the idea of being just friends with someone I'd really like to have sex with

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you send a dick pic every week, it saves you from the friend zone...

(Although you may not end up in ten zone you want to be in

)

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

"I think I'm probably the most unsexy person in the world. I'm rubbish at flirting and all that. So if I didn't speak as a friend I wouldn't speak at all.

So how do you stop from losing the attraction? The attraction you have for the other person I mean.

Plus... not bad at flirting!"

Lol I am, and that kind of who I am. I'm far too literal I drive M mad sometimes.

But to me if it's supposed to be it'll be I guess. I was mates with M long before we got together but there was a spark. Think maybe some sparks burn for brighter and longer than others. And there isn't a hard and fast rule for it all.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think I'm probably the most unsexy person in the world. I'm rubbish at flirting and all that. So if I didn't speak as a friend I wouldn't speak at all.

So how do you stop from losing the attraction? The attraction you have for the other person I mean.

Plus... not bad at flirting!

Lol I am, and that kind of who I am. I'm far too literal I drive M mad sometimes.

You are not bad at flirting

At least I think you're not.

Subtle (or I read too much into comments )

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By *indergirlWoman
over a year ago

somewhere, someplace

"A Sunday pondering from my bathtub (and not aimed at anyone at all, just a musing)....

So. You know when there's someone you like.... and they like you.... and you have a private conversation on here about meeting then get all excited and move it "off fab"

And you talk. And talk. Do you find that you've talked your way into the friendzone? That actually meeting for the potential sexy times is absolutely not on the cards any more?

I've also had it where the frustration and sexual tension has built and built to the point of "I must have you now". So swings and roundabouts I guess.

You know my answer to that

pretty much all the time

*PRETTY MUCH* being the important part gorgeous xx"

Oh I know! But the ones that friend zone and you down right kick yourself for doing it... But also makes me question did they actually look at you in any other way than as a friend

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By *oveGiving44Man
over a year ago

Bristol

"This happened to me once. We couldn't quite settle on a date to meet. It went on for a few weeks and by the time we could arrange something it was too late: friend zone!

Was the chemistry not there when you met?"

We'd gone from sexy chat to the sort of chat you have with platonic friends. By the time we met it felt weird being anything other than friends. I guess that does mean the initial chemistry had gone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I seem to talk everything into friends zone

Do you have a ‘Friends With Benefits’ zone….?

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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

Id rather have a friend than a one off meet, as that friend will bring me more happiness than a few hours of play.

There are plenty of people on here I have no desire to get dirty with, but would relish the opportunity to chew the fat over dinner with.

As well as a few that I’d enjoy getting dirty with during dinner!

And to me thats how you win at fab. You can fuck your way through fab and have nothing to show for it (hopefully no burning when you pee), or you can expand your circle of friends and get a lot more satisfaction, meaningful chats and people who care.

With that being said, friends can sometimes bump uglies and not affect their relationship, as long as everyone is on the same page.

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