FabSwingers.com forum: LGBT problems

By *rhuges OP Man
over a year ago

Cardiff

I had a friend who trans'ed from male to female in his 50s.

I was very surprised as he was married with school aged children, but I still accepted that that was their choose.

Unfortunately we have now fallen out big time and I'm getting really insulting messages them his/ her friends.

The reason for the fall out ,I dared to say what I thought.

She showed me her birth cert, which has the gender changed from male to female.

I said I didn't agree with it as when they were born they were male and you can't change that how ever much you want to. The birth cert is s legal document that should reflect the truth .

I still stand by this , you don't have to agree with everything a friend does.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

Thing is you actually can change it. Depends how good friends you were. I’d support my good friends in however they chose to live their lives. (Legally of course).

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *wisted999Man
over a year ago

North Bucks

They can change it and did.

Irrespective of my feeling on gender it does not override my sensibility’s in order to hurt someone’s feelings for no benefit or cost to me.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I agree OP, you don't have to agree on everything. It may have been best to keep some thoughts to yourself but it is what it is.

If their friends are being abusive just ignore them.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There is a big difference between your biological sex (which actually can't be changed) and your gender (which can change and is however you identify). I find when people have these conversations, it's good if they educate themselves first on the difference between the two, as it will result in a more informed conversation and might lead to less upset.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can you imagine applying for a mortgage or loan where birth certificate is an identifier?

You write Mrs Smith on the form but the certificate says Mr Smith?

Causes all sorts of unnecessary problems and upset.

It can legally be done and takes a lot of hoops to do. I’m not surprised you got some comments

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *atricia ParnelWoman
over a year ago

In a town full of colours

Stand by your beliefs, no-one should be made to change their beliefs for another person's benefit. (Just because its legal, isn't a reason for you to agree with it)

If you wish to renew your friendship the a compromise will potentially have to be made...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *entleman JayMan
over a year ago

Wakefield

I have a very good old friend. I’ve known her 30 years. I have to bite my lip every time we meet, (actually meeting tonight) because I don’t agree with many of the things she says. But I like her company and she’s a great mate.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *entleman JayMan
over a year ago

Wakefield

"They can change it and did.

Irrespective of my feeling on gender it does not override my sensibility’s in order to hurt someone’s feelings for no benefit or cost to me.

This.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

You’ve made your feelings clear. Legally they can do and have changed it, so I’m not sure what you hoped for in this thread.

Friendships are based on mutual respect, the fact that you used the he/she term shows your thoughts and lack of respect for them.

As harsh as it sounds, you’re better off being away from each other if you can’t respect them when they want and need your support.

Transitioning is hard enough without people throwing out uneducated and bigoted views.

Maybe you should do some reading and educate yourself properly about genders vs sex rather than relying on a limited view of biology based in high school.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have a very good friend who I guess you would say she is 'woke'

I'm the opposite really. We both agree on the subjects but not the approach and just tease each other lots. I wouldn't be without her.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I mean, it’s a fat lie to say that I’m biologically born female, and never in my dreams I’d make the claim. I can’t give birth in the way most women do, and I have to take hormones to be in the range that women are hormonally.

No matter how much I change the birth certificate.. I do agree tho In being able to change documents like passports etc as it’s important … it’s a nightmare to explain why you look like a woman but the passport says otherwise. And triggering for most.

Do I say I’m a woman? Of course I do, because what makes me a woman isn’t how much I might pass as one, or if I act female enough, or if I’ve got a surgically made vagina or if my hormonal levels are on female range

I mean those help to reaffirm

But what makes me a woman and made me all long was my brain (the inner self conciousness of one self)

Again, would I ever make a claim to be born biologically as one? Of course not, sadly. Maybe in another life, but for now, this will do x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

"I had a friend who trans'ed from male to female in his 50s.

I was very surprised as he was married with school aged children, but I still accepted that that was their choose.

Unfortunately we have now fallen out big time and I'm getting really insulting messages them his/ her friends.

The reason for the fall out ,I dared to say what I thought.

She showed me her birth cert, which has the gender changed from male to female.

I said I didn't agree with it as when they were born they were male and you can't change that how ever much you want to. The birth cert is s legal document that should reflect the truth .

I still stand by this , you don't have to agree with everything a friend does. "

True you don't but then you don't have to voice your opinion when you know it could be hurtful to them. The fact you are still referring to them as he/her shows that perhaps you are not as accepting of their journey as you like to think you are.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread