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Why wouldn't you take your partner out for a night?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

In a past relationship, whenever I wanted a night out it would be nigh on impossible for it to happen and I could never figure out why.

I bought a dress in 2016 but didn't get to wear it out until new years eve 2017. I actually tried the dress on in front of him and asked him what was wrong with it, if I was too past it to wear it, or if I didn't have the figure for it and looked bad in it. He said it looked nice. That was all.

It took me 3 and a half months of asking for a night out to for it to happen. I went from asking nicely to being sarcastic, blatantly having a dig, to bitch mode and finally lost my shit in that 3 and a half months. I then felt like the night out was just to keep me happy and it didn't feel nice. I enjoyed it regardless.

So why wouldn't a partner take you out is what I'd like to know? What would stop you doing it if money and babysitter were sorted? In this case they were. To the guys do you ever feel not confident about taking a woman out? And to all does taking your partner out ever give you anxiety and if so why? Is there any other reason why you wouldn't take someone out?

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By *eardedTattManMan
over a year ago

Elland

This is strange behaviour! Whenever I've had a partner, I've always enjoyed being out with them and proud to have them in my arm.. or I wouldn't be with them!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"This is strange behaviour! Whenever I've had a partner, I've always enjoyed being out with them and proud to have them in my arm.. or I wouldn't be with them! "

I asked him repeatedly if I was embarrassing to take out. It bugs me. I know I'll probably never get the answer. I'm the same as you, I want to be out with them and enjoy them.

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By *eardedTattManMan
over a year ago

Elland


"This is strange behaviour! Whenever I've had a partner, I've always enjoyed being out with them and proud to have them in my arm.. or I wouldn't be with them!

I asked him repeatedly if I was embarrassing to take out. It bugs me. I know I'll probably never get the answer. I'm the same as you, I want to be out with them and enjoy them. "

Without wanting to pry too much.. was he a cheat?? That's the only thing I can think of, in case he was seen by other women

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By *ynecplCouple
over a year ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

There has only ever been one reason when I (Mr) have not wanted to go out for a night with Mrs and that is repetitiveness. Not repetativeness with Mrs but we go out a lot for various reasons and one of her hobbies can see us out three or four times in a month (pre-covid). This can become draining and boring so just occasionally I will duck out and she will go to those events on her own but I always tell her why and she understands.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

because i was only worth two nights a week of his time.

hell, he'd even prefer to fly off on holiday without letting me know, let alone asking if i fancied it too

maybe i smell... that's why no one wants to take me out

Px

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By *eardedTattManMan
over a year ago

Elland


"

maybe i smell... that's why no one wants to take me out

Px"

Well this is embarrassing.. I didnt wanna say anything but..

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"This is strange behaviour! Whenever I've had a partner, I've always enjoyed being out with them and proud to have them in my arm.. or I wouldn't be with them!

I asked him repeatedly if I was embarrassing to take out. It bugs me. I know I'll probably never get the answer. I'm the same as you, I want to be out with them and enjoy them.

Without wanting to pry too much.. was he a cheat?? That's the only thing I can think of, in case he was seen by other women "

He didn't want sex either. And the only time he wasn't home was when he was working. So he'd literally had to have been shagging someone at work and in the building.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"because i was only worth two nights a week of his time.

hell, he'd even prefer to fly off on holiday without letting me know, let alone asking if i fancied it too

maybe i smell... that's why no one wants to take me out

Px"

That is awful and actually saddens me. How can some people be so bloody horrible?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I simply can't be bothered going out most of the time.

I'm going out next weekend to Blackpool with the Mrs but that'll be it for about 6 months

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Because I'm taller than him

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I love a night out with my partner. But it's very rare we get date nights as we have nobody to look after our daughter.

I do think this happens often in relationships though, some people get too comfortable and lazy rather than it being avoided because of shame etc. I have to remind my partner sometimes to make an effort with going out with me, even during the day as he just doesn't think it's important... but making that effort means a great deal to me.

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By *odgerMooreMan
over a year ago

Nowhere

I was always worried about taking my ex out around bonfire night - shouldn’t have been - i got her d*unk - put her in a shopping trolley and made about £80! Which was 50 quid up on the deal!!

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By *ister-mischiefMan
over a year ago

Trafford

Anyone want to borrow our kids for a night so me and Mrs mischief can go out .

We love to go out on the rare occasions we can and i dont understand why your partner wouldn't want to a break from the norm always does you some good

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it's just a matter of people's personal tastes. Some people love social events. Some are outdoorsy and prefer doing something physically active rather than going to a party. Some people just like to sit at home and watch Netflix. This mostly has got nothing to do with you.

This is probably one of the most important traits two people have to match in order for them to have a happy relationship.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think it's just a matter of people's personal tastes. Some people love social events. Some are outdoorsy and prefer doing something physically active rather than going to a party. Some people just like to sit at home and watch Netflix. This mostly has got nothing to do with you.

This is probably one of the most important traits two people have to match in order for them to have a happy relationship. "

Yes this is very true. I know that my partner is happiest at home and has little interest in days out, socialising etc so I try not to take it personally. But equally I do think you need to make an effort and compromise occasionally to keep everyone happy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As an introvert, sometimes the idea of going out just feels draining... Especially if I'm being asked to organise and make plans. I've spent all my energy and decision making thinking at work.

That said, given my HW tendencies, I like going out and people watching others watch us.... But could see a jealous type go the other way ... Especially if he knows you have swung ....

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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

If I didn’t enjoy or found their company to be some how undesirable

If they wanted to do things I didn’t like or want to and we were unwilling to come to a compromise

They were a cunt

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My husband never wanted to take me out either.

So in the end, I used to go out without him.

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By *ack688Man
over a year ago

abruzzo Italy (and UK)

Did he go out by himself or with any of his friends? Was it that he didn’t want to take you out, or that he just didn’t want to go out at all?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A few bad experiences in younger years with partners expecting money to be thrown about on a night out & at the time I didn’t have the money do it so that put me off. It dented my confidence for a lot years as I felt womens expectations would be greater than I could offer.

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By *ockosaurusMan
over a year ago

Warwick

Was he suffering depression?

That can kill your libido and boost social anxieties, so things like going out become a mental struggle.

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

I’m quite introverted so prefer nights in rather than nights out at pubs and restaurants. I’d rather do stuff in the day/afternoon then Cosy up in the evening.

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales


"My husband never wanted to take me out either.

So in the end, I used to go out without him. "

This is what my mum did with my step dad. She went on holidays without him too.

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By *odgerMooreMan
over a year ago

Nowhere


"I’m quite introverted so prefer nights in rather than nights out at pubs and restaurants. I’d rather do stuff in the day/afternoon then Cosy up in the evening.

"

This!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I never used to mainly due to associating nights out with being on the pull so if im with someone it kind of didnt make sense

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My wife hates eating in front of other people, so meals are off the list. We have done in the past, but she’s never comfortable with it.

She’d rather watch films at home than a cinema.

In terms of just general pub nights, apart from one couple we have totally separate friend groups; hers are all kink, mine are all vanilla and unaware of our lifestyle (plus mine never go out anymore).

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By *ave-and-LouiseCouple
over a year ago

Torquay

It's sad to hear that. We don't often get the chance due to work and kids, but I'm always proud to be out with Louise. X

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

I would.. and often have

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My husband never wanted to take me out either.

So in the end, I used to go out without him. "
and why not, if everyone is happy with that !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think it's just a matter of people's personal tastes. Some people love social events. Some are outdoorsy and prefer doing something physically active rather than going to a party. Some people just like to sit at home and watch Netflix. This mostly has got nothing to do with you.

This is probably one of the most important traits two people have to match in order for them to have a happy relationship.

Yes this is very true. I know that my partner is happiest at home and has little interest in days out, socialising etc so I try not to take it personally. But equally I do think you need to make an effort and compromise occasionally to keep everyone happy."

Yes. It's hard to find that perfect match for anyone. In matters where people differ, there must be some compromise.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I was always worried about taking my ex out around bonfire night - shouldn’t have been - i got her d*unk - put her in a shopping trolley and made about £80! Which was 50 quid up on the deal!! "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This is strange behaviour! Whenever I've had a partner, I've always enjoyed being out with them and proud to have them in my arm.. or I wouldn't be with them!

I asked him repeatedly if I was embarrassing to take out. It bugs me. I know I'll probably never get the answer. I'm the same as you, I want to be out with them and enjoy them. "

Did he ever go out with you?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You've said this about an ex, Petite? Presumably this wasn't the only issue. I totally understand that some people don't enjoy going out as much and that it can be stressful etc etc. But for 3 months you asked and he didn't/wouldn't. You weren't asking for two nights a week. Just a rare treat. My ex was like this. Funnily enough the things I wanted to do never happened but the things he enjoyed did. Being a couple means sometimes you do what makes the other person happy even if it's not your thing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My ex husband told me (once we had split up) that I was an embarrassment and that's why he never took me out...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

After we married my husband took me out for a meal twice … once on my 40th birthday and once on my 50th birthday …

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My ex husband told me (once we had split up) that I was an embarrassment and that's why he never took me out... "

Hope you laughed in his face.

Sounds like the men on here who call us names when we reject them.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

We struggle for nights out (childcare) and Mr KC isn't always up for busy-ness, other people and noise. I've had to learn not to push that and accept it (there's reasons). We do try and do stuff together if we get days off work in the week etc.

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)


"because i was only worth two nights a week of his time.

hell, he'd even prefer to fly off on holiday without letting me know, let alone asking if i fancied it too

maybe i smell... that's why no one wants to take me out

Px"

That’s bloody awful.

Just remember, you’re value isn’t diminished by another’s failure to see it.

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By *ablo minibar123Woman
over a year ago

.

One ex just genuinely never liked going out anywhere, was just petrified of big social events and drinking places

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

I’m really not sure what the answer is as to why but I do know that we can send ourselves mad trying to work out the motives behind others actions or choices regarding us.

Finding a way of knowing that we will never know the reasons but that it doesn’t reflect on us, instead that it’s a statement of them, is the only way that I can see of reconciling these things.

If you can find a way, then be glad that you’re not in that situation and that your worth is far higher than the regard that they held you in.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"We struggle for nights out (childcare) and Mr KC isn't always up for busy-ness, other people and noise. I've had to learn not to push that and accept it (there's reasons). We do try and do stuff together if we get days off work in the week etc."

I'm a lot like Mr KC in that regard. I do do it occasionally, but I'd much rather have a "special" night in.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West


"We struggle for nights out (childcare) and Mr KC isn't always up for busy-ness, other people and noise. I've had to learn not to push that and accept it (there's reasons). We do try and do stuff together if we get days off work in the week etc.

I'm a lot like Mr KC in that regard. I do do it occasionally, but I'd much rather have a "special" night in."

Mr KC totally understands (as I try very hard to)

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"We struggle for nights out (childcare) and Mr KC isn't always up for busy-ness, other people and noise. I've had to learn not to push that and accept it (there's reasons). We do try and do stuff together if we get days off work in the week etc.

I'm a lot like Mr KC in that regard. I do do it occasionally, but I'd much rather have a "special" night in.

Mr KC totally understands (as I try very hard to) "

Absolutely

Give and take, hey?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My ex husband told me (once we had split up) that I was an embarrassment and that's why he never took me out...

Hope you laughed in his face.

Sounds like the men on here who call us names when we reject them. "

Yup... If a bloke, he didn't know, spoke to me, he got very jealous... If I was that bad, why would anyone else be interested?! Sad

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By * and R cple4Couple
over a year ago

swansea

We’ve been together 27 years and we still love our date nights ..I think it’s a important part of a relationship..

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

I was too fat and ugly to be worth taking anywhere.

Oh... except if he wanted to go out and do something that required driving. Then it would be all "please come, I'd love you to be there". And it took me a long time to realise I'd be sat on my own with a soft drink whenever we did go out, and he would be hammered.

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By *viatrixWoman
over a year ago

Redhill


"This is strange behaviour! Whenever I've had a partner, I've always enjoyed being out with them and proud to have them in my arm.. or I wouldn't be with them!

I asked him repeatedly if I was embarrassing to take out. It bugs me. I know I'll probably never get the answer. I'm the same as you, I want to be out with them and enjoy them.

Without wanting to pry too much.. was he a cheat?? That's the only thing I can think of, in case he was seen by other women

He didn't want sex either. And the only time he wasn't home was when he was working. So he'd literally had to have been shagging someone at work and in the building. "

You’re pretty much describing my marriage.

I love going out, restaurants, bars... I am a social butterfly! He hates every minute of it. If we do go out, it is because I organise it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe he was suffering.

Depression for one example.

Maybe it wasn't you but how he felt about himself.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Maybe he was suffering.

Depression for one example.

Maybe it wasn't you but how he felt about himself.

"

This was definitely the reason behind my husband not wanting to go out with me

Depression and social anxiety, we never went anywhere...If I went anywhere that required a +1 my son would come. Otherwise I would go alone.

It was upsetting, my Graduation and parties and gatherings where everyone was with their partner was the worst.

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

Maybe he has social anxiety or doesn't enjoy going out for other reasons? It might not have been about taking you out but going out at all.

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By *entleman JayMan
over a year ago

Wakefield


"This is strange behaviour! Whenever I've had a partner, I've always enjoyed being out with them and proud to have them in my arm.. or I wouldn't be with them!

I asked him repeatedly if I was embarrassing to take out. It bugs me. I know I'll probably never get the answer. I'm the same as you, I want to be out with them and enjoy them. "

Maybe he wasn’t that into you. My ex wife and I had a date night. It was another reason that confirmed to me that it was time to separate.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Did you ever ask him?

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