FabSwingers.com forum: What is the most useless talent you have.

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I pick up a little things and often know my friends are pregnant before they announce it but it's a pretty useless talent. What's yours?

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By *ensuallover1000Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

I am a veritable mine of useless information if that counts?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can hold 6 doughnuts without using my hands

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By *riar BelisseWoman
over a year ago

Delightful Bliss

I can fit 3 creme eggs in my mouth at once

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

I can eat about 25 pancakes on pancake day

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I am a veritable mine of useless information if that counts?"

That doesn't count because its useful when someone wants to know useless information.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can sniff like a dog .. woof

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I can hold 6 doughnuts without using my hands

Do you pick them up with your toes?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I can fit 3 creme eggs in my mouth at once"

Thats impressive!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can knit woolly hats. That's only useful if you need a hat.

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

I’m pretty good at recognising pop songs from a few seconds of the intro.

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By *mily36CWoman
over a year ago

Bedford (or anywhere beginning with B..!?)

Doing the 'Spock' hand sign with either hand... absolutely no use whatsoever

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I can eat about 25 pancakes on pancake day

I would not say that was useless I would say that is a life skill.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Can sniff like a dog .. woof "

Can you sniff like any other animal?

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By *EAT..85Woman
over a year ago

Nottingham

I can create and launch spit bubbles off my tongue.

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By *ardyBumMan
over a year ago

Leeds

I have double jointed fingers and can pick up glasses/bottles with the back of my hand

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I can knit woolly hats. That's only useful if you need a hat. "

Everybody wants a warm head though.

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By *ean counterMan
over a year ago

Market Harborough/ Kettering

I can give a woman an orgasm just by looking at them, honest!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I can hold 6 doughnuts without using my hands

Do you pick them up with your toes?

Balance them on my forehead

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can drink a pint in 2 seconds. I have never found anyone to beat me

Or a 2 litre of cider in 32 seconds. The last bit is a killer

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By *mily36CWoman
over a year ago

Bedford (or anywhere beginning with B..!?)

"I can give a woman an orgasm just by looking at them, honest!

...we need proof

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can sniff like a dog .. woof

Can you sniff like any other animal?"
any requests lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I can hold 6 doughnuts without using my hands

Do you pick them up with your toes?

Balance them on my forehead

That if you are not using your hands then surely you have to pick them up with your feet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can neck a pint really fast. Really fast

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I’m pretty good at recognising pop songs from a few seconds of the intro.

That is very useful especially in the music round at a quiz.

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By *ean counterMan
over a year ago

Market Harborough/ Kettering

"I can give a woman an orgasm just by looking at them, honest!

...we need proof

Ok, you pop round to mine and let me look at you

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By *ld StrumpetWoman
over a year ago

Telford

I can say the better bought some butter tongue twisters really fast

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 06/10/21 19:47:28]

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By *BWBI2019Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

I only fart like once a day if that...

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Doing the 'Spock' hand sign with either hand... absolutely no use whatsoever

I've never been able to do that so that is rather impressive.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I can create and launch spit bubbles off my tongue. "

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By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

wokingham

Rubix cube in about 90

Seconds

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

"I am a veritable mine of useless information if that counts?"

You need to join my useless information department, it's been short staffed since I founded it about 8 years ago

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By *anilla switchWoman
over a year ago

Hampshire

Wiggle my eyebrows, looks like a caterpillar. Very, sexy indeed!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I have double jointed fingers and can pick up glasses/bottles with the back of my hand "

impressive but useless.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I can give a woman an orgasm just by looking at them, honest!

Better keep my eyes closed.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I can drink a pint in 2 seconds. I have never found anyone to beat me

Or a 2 litre of cider in 32 seconds. The last bit is a killer"

I could give you a run for your money.

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By *mily36CWoman
over a year ago

Bedford (or anywhere beginning with B..!?)

"I can give a woman an orgasm just by looking at them, honest!

...we need proof

Ok, you pop round to mine and let me look at you

...I know I put the car keys somewhere ...be right there

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By *azylivingMan
over a year ago

random location

I can move my ears independently

As in one at a time (a lot)

I enjoy doing to during meetings to look at people’s reactions

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By *heMightySpud69Man
over a year ago

Milton keynes

My thumbs bend back to about 90°. Almost useful when you need a set square

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By *ean counterMan
over a year ago

Market Harborough/ Kettering

"I can give a woman an orgasm just by looking at them, honest!

...we need proof

Ok I'll put the kettle on unless you want wine? If you do you will need to call in Asda on your way and get some

Ok, you pop round to mine and let me look at you

...I know I put the car keys somewhere ...be right there

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I can drink a pint in 2 seconds. I have never found anyone to beat me

Or a 2 litre of cider in 32 seconds. The last bit is a killer

I could give you a run for your money. "

Oh my. If I find myself in your neck of the woods we could have a race.

Does Ash roll his eyes excessively when you do it?

Mrs does when I do

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By *mily36CWoman
over a year ago

Bedford (or anywhere beginning with B..!?)

Doing the 'Spock' hand sign with either hand... absolutely no use whatsoever

I've never been able to do that so that is rather impressive.

I think the single one raised eyebrow thing is rather impressive

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By *ean counterMan
over a year ago

Market Harborough/ Kettering

I can do magic! I just made the contents of a Peroni bottle dissappear

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can ride my bike with no handlebars

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When I yawn a jet of water comes out of my mouth

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Flipping coins off my elbow into my hand.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I can ride my bike with no handlebars "

Tune

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I can say the better bought some butter tongue twisters really fast

I'm rubbish at tounge twisters.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I only fart like once a day if that..."

Where does all the wind go then?

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By *mily36CWoman
over a year ago

Bedford (or anywhere beginning with B..!?)

"I can ride my bike with no handlebars "

Oooo I've always wanted to be able to do that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I only fart like once a day if that...

Where does all the wind go then?

It might be one big one. Get it all out in one go

My wife wishes I only had one big fart.

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By *iaisonseekerMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

I can turn my eyelids inside out

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By *anilla switchWoman
over a year ago

Hampshire

"I can turn my eyelids inside out

Even reading this comment makes me panic!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Rubix cube in about 90

Seconds "

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Wiggle my eyebrows, looks like a caterpillar. Very, sexy indeed! "

I can do that too.

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By *ex HolesMan
over a year ago

Up North

I can store £1.52 in 2p’s down my foreskin

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I can move my ears independently

As in one at a time (a lot)

I enjoy doing to during meetings to look at people’s reactions

Good party trick.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"My thumbs bend back to about 90°. Almost useful when you need a set square"

good skill.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I can store £1.52 in 2p’s down my foreskin

That's impressive

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By *iaisonseekerMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

"I can turn my eyelids inside out

Even reading this comment makes me panic! "

To reassure you, I haven't lost an eyeball yet

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I pick up a little things and often know my friends are pregnant before they announce it but it's a pretty useless talent. What's yours?"

At the moment I feel like it’s drag make up haha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have a talent for attracting males

but it's pretty useless not being gay

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

Growing an insane amount of hair incredibly quickly

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By *iaisonseekerMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

"Growing an insane amount of hair incredibly quickly "

Localised or all over?

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By *idsCouple1Couple
over a year ago

Tamworth

I can raise one eyebrow..

Also, I can fit 8 Jaffa cakes in my mouth at one time and close my mouth

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can eat 6 creme eggs in one sitting.

And I'm not sick afterwards.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can cook clean drive mow lawn love gardening apart from that about as useful as fart in wind tunnel

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By *ickyRoosterMan
over a year ago

Uppendown

"I can turn my eyelids inside out

Damn. That's my useless talent too.

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By *ickyRoosterMan
over a year ago

Uppendown

"I can store £1.52 in 2p’s down my foreskin

Got to be ex forces

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By *mily36CWoman
over a year ago

Bedford (or anywhere beginning with B..!?)

"I can turn my eyelids inside out

Even reading this comment makes me panic!

To reassure you, I haven't lost an eyeball yet

Just don't sneeze at the same time?!!

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

[Removed by poster at 06/10/21 20:56:55]

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

"Growing an insane amount of hair incredibly quickly

Localised or all over?"

I'll beat you in a 5 o'clock shadow contest put it that way

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By *uddy laneMan
over a year ago

dudley

I put my fork in my right hand.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can write backwards in cursive.

I can drink fizzy pop and never burp. Like ever.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I can write backwards in cursive.

I can drink fizzy pop and never burp. Like ever. "

Even Tizer?????

I call bullshit.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I can write backwards in cursive.

I can drink fizzy pop and never burp. Like ever. "

You win twice ... either would be enough but both is almost overkill

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I can eat about 25 pancakes on pancake day

You and me both!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

An excellent memory for things others would like you to forget

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By *eeBee67Man
over a year ago

Masked and Distant

Forgetting things at the drop of a ..

You know that head warm cover up thing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"An excellent memory for things others would like you to forget

When I noticed you’d posted on here I was so sure you’d said chasing your tail.

The disappointment is real.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All my talents are useless as I'm not using them..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"An excellent memory for things others would like you to forget

When I noticed you’d posted on here I was so sure you’d said chasing your tail.

The disappointment is real."

Let me tickle you with the said tail for some cheering up purposes

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By *melia DominaTV/TS
over a year ago

Edinburgh (She/Her)

"What is the most useless talent you have. "

That is easy... I annoy the shit out of people on a general day to day bases just for being me!!

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By *ld StrumpetWoman
over a year ago

Telford

Tut how can I forget… I can hold a litre bottle of rum under my belly entering events

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I can drink a pint in 2 seconds. I have never found anyone to beat me

Or a 2 litre of cider in 32 seconds. The last bit is a killer

I could give you a run for your money.

Oh my. If I find myself in your neck of the woods we could have a race.

Does Ash roll his eyes excessively when you do it?

Mrs does when I do"

I will take you up on that.

No there is only enough room for one eye roller in this house!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I can do magic! I just made the contents of a Peroni bottle dissappear

Clever.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I can ride my bike with no handlebars "

It not called a unicycle?

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By *ustdaveHantsMan
over a year ago

chippenham

I can navigate my way through a minefield of lego in the dark, when left by my darling nephew

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can forget I have a cup of tea and come to it hours later stone cold.

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By *eardedTattManMan
over a year ago

Elland

"I can forget I have a cup of tea and come to it hours later stone cold. "

This is me.. on the hour, every hour!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"An excellent memory for things others would like you to forget

When I noticed you’d posted on here I was so sure you’d said chasing your tail.

The disappointment is real.

Let me tickle you with the said tail for some cheering up purposes

I’m only ticklish under my chin

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I can forget I have a cup of tea and come to it hours later stone cold.

This is me.. on the hour, every hour! "
I have beard and hair envy now

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"When I yawn a jet of water comes out of my mouth "

How?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Flipping coins off my elbow into my hand."

Oh I want to see this.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I can turn my eyelids inside out

Does it hurt?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I can store £1.52 in 2p’s down my foreskin

How does one even discover they can do this?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I pick up a little things and often know my friends are pregnant before they announce it but it's a pretty useless talent. What's yours?

At the moment I feel like it’s drag make up haha "

Thats a very good skill to have.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Speaking.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When I yawn a jet of water comes out of my mouth "

It's called Gleeking

I can do it but not on command. Its just the pressure from your tongue on a gland

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can circular breathe.

Although very occasionally it has its uses, so not an entirely useless skill.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I have a talent for attracting males

but it's pretty useless not being gay"

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Growing an insane amount of hair incredibly quickly "

You have a very impressive head of hair.

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By *inda May SimmonsTV/TS
over a year ago

hexham

I can walk twenty yards with ten fifty pence coins clenched in my bum cheeks then accurately dro p them from a standing position into a pint glass! (I say walk, it is more of a mincy style waddle))

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m an amazing mime, I can say all sorts of shit without moving my lips and best thing, there’s no sound either.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can tap my cock on my belly like a drumstick to music

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can play the recorder with my nose!

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By *mily36CWoman
over a year ago

Bedford (or anywhere beginning with B..!?)

"I can tap my cock on my belly like a drumstick to music

Even less useful than being used as a towel holder??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I can walk twenty yards with ten fifty pence coins clenched in my bum cheeks then accurately dro p them from a standing position into a pint glass! (I say walk, it is more of a mincy style waddle))"

This, I’m impressed with!

I can complete a rubies cube in under 2 minutes, every time

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

I can list all the books of the Bible in order

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I can list all the books of the Bible in order

Luke at you!

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By *heOriginalLoisWoman
over a year ago

London

"I can list all the books of the Bible in order

Luke at you!

Paul the other one

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can kick off my fake foot and smash a dinner plate from 5 metres away.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I can list all the books of the Bible in order

Luke at you!

Paul the other one"

It's a tough Job but someone has to do it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can do a pretty good eyeliner flick in 10seconds flat

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By *ookingfun82Man
over a year ago

Enniskillen

I can move my eyebrows independently and wiggle my ears.

(Without my hands before anyone says)

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

"I can list all the books of the Bible in order

Luke at you!

Paul the other one

It's a tough Job but someone has to do it."

*Mass Exodus from the thread*

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By *ames-77Man
over a year ago

milton keynes

"I pick up a little things and often know my friends are pregnant before they announce it but it's a pretty useless talent. What's yours?"

Legs behind my head

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I can list all the books of the Bible in order

Luke at you!

Paul the other one

It's a tough Job but someone has to do it.

*Mass Exodus from the thread*"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I can do a pretty good eyeliner flick in 10seconds flat

Which is the sexiest look ever to grace this earth!

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By *JB1954Man
over a year ago

Reading

I am able to wire electrical plugs correctly, with correct size cable for appliance. I was qualified electrical technician before I retired. Has not been any use. Appliances all supplied with moulded plugs and correct cable. Now very difficult to replace if even lead breaks etc.

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By *BWBI2019Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

"I only fart like once a day if that...

Where does all the wind go then?

Honestly, no idea!

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

If you want useless - I can give you useless:

I can make my throat bulge like a frog.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I can turn my eyelids inside out

Damn. That's my useless talent too.

Yeap, can I join the club?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i can fit my entire fist in my mouth

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"An excellent memory for things others would like you to forget

When I noticed you’d posted on here I was so sure you’d said chasing your tail.

The disappointment is real.

Let me tickle you with the said tail for some cheering up purposes

I’m only ticklish under my chin"

I'm still trying to work out logistics of it. I guess you'd need to willingly surrender on your knees

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By *ld StrumpetWoman
over a year ago

Telford

"I only fart like once a day if that...

Where does all the wind go then?

Honestly, no idea!

Straight to the brain .. it’s where our shut ideas come from lol

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By *aughty Couple ABCCouple
over a year ago

West Bromwich

"I pick up a little things and often know my friends are pregnant before they announce it but it's a pretty useless talent. What's yours?"

I can generally tell if the baby is going to be a boy or girl. Mrs D

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have the ability to turn invisible here on fab even if I don't hide my profile...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can si g 'how much is that doggy in the window' backwards in Greek

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By *iaisonseekerMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

[Removed by poster at 07/10/21 14:55:39]

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By *iaisonseekerMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

"Growing an insane amount of hair incredibly quickly

Localised or all over?

I'll beat you in a 5 o'clock shadow contest put it that way"

This has the feel of a sexy bet

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By *iaisonseekerMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

"I can turn my eyelids inside out

Does it hurt?"

It's oddly pleasurable

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I used to be able to predict the lotto balls just before they were drawn (literally, as they were spinning). Unfortunately I could never predict them further in advance.

However whenever we put the lotto on I am always only a number or two out from each ball drawn which is infuriating. Obviously it's not meant to be.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can name all 50 US states in alphabetical order in under 30 seconds!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I pick up a little things and often know my friends are pregnant before they announce it but it's a pretty useless talent. What's yours?"

Since lockdown last year I learned how to complete the Rubiks cube

Not especially quick like some who do it in seconds but 3 and a half minutes is my best.

I'm expert at fiddling with things alone

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By *ames-77Man
over a year ago

milton keynes

"i can fit my entire fist in my mouth

Px "

Would be useful if a bell end was the size of a fist I suppose.. not much length to a fist though lol

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By *inda May SimmonsTV/TS
over a year ago

hexham

Goodness!

That is not useless, that is employable !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can kick my self in the head

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By *untime5Man
over a year ago

Cornwall

I can make a cloud in my mouth

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I can write backwards in cursive.

I can drink fizzy pop and never burp. Like ever.

Even Tizer?????

I call bullshit.

Any fizzy pop yes, I can't burp. Its a thing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When I was a kid, I was always very good at picking who was going to win Miss World

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By *ools and the brainCouple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

I have no talent, nothing only thing I can bring to the party is honesty.

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By *elshcouple18Couple
over a year ago

Cardiff

I can tel if I'm going to get laid tonight..... Yes I am.

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By *lymanMan
over a year ago

PLYMOUTH

I can lick my elbow

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can type with my eyes closed on the phone as well as on the laptop without making mistakes, in fact that’s what I’m doing right now

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By *uenevereWoman
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

I can wiggle my nose like Samantha and role my tongue.

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By *entleman JayMan
over a year ago

Wakefield

I’m quite good at playing the triangle!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Getting pished and enjoying myself and listening to great music but cant mind going to bed

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By *educedWoman
over a year ago

Birmingham

I'm useless in bed.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I only fart like once a day if that..."

Does it feel good when you do though?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm useless in bed. "

I'm not. I can fall asleep like that (clicky fingers)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm useless in bed.

I'm not. I can fall asleep like that (clicky fingers)

I need that talent. I would love to get into bed and fall straight to sleep.

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By *mily36CWoman
over a year ago

Bedford (or anywhere beginning with B..!?)

"I'm useless in bed.

I'm not. I can fall asleep like that (clicky fingers)

I need that talent. I would love to get into bed and fall straight to sleep. "

...whale music??? Some say it works wonders

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm useless in bed.

I'm not. I can fall asleep like that (clicky fingers)

I need that talent. I would love to get into bed and fall straight to sleep.

...whale music??? Some say it works wonders

That would bug me. I used to use a sleep hypn0sis podcast but it doesn't have the same effect anymore

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Axe throwing, there’s no better feeling that hearing the thunk as it sticks in a log round

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