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Depression

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Next door neighbour has it really badly to the point of the mental health crisis team are visiting her to help improve her mental health.

In the morning when its quiet you can hear her crying no no no . Its so bad now she cant be left on her own her partner isnt working and her son and daughter are hear regularly helping out.

Spoke to one of other neighbours and we dont know what we can do to help out in anyway.

Its so hard to see her a shadow of her former self . When I've seen them walking up the street we all still say hello and act like we normally do and speak directly to her rather then ignore.

By the end of the day she does seem to get better ( his words) but as he said it must be terrible going to bed knowing its back to square one the next day.

How can you help someone who is that bad ?

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By *yron69Man
over a year ago

Fareham

Always show a happy face. Try to listen or even offer to go for a walk with the patient. It’s always worse in the morning and in the dark evening.

I personally believe daylight, trees and fresh air help alleviate the more biting feelings of depression.

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

It’s really hard to know what to do sometimes it can make you feel so powerless , professional help can be really hard to access and many people are not even ready for talking based therapy , even with friends and family because the pain is too much.

Just check in on them , listen and follow your instincts , try to understand & put yourself in their position , don’t try to fix them, you can’t. Small practical things , supporting a healthy lifestyle/routine and talking / listening.

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By *esSir99Woman
over a year ago

Norwich

It’s extremely challenging and emotionally draining caring for a loved one who is unwell. If there is a way you can offer support to her husband in anyway this would in turn help her.

Happy to pm if you’d like some other advice. I am a MH crisis worker x

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Your most welcome to message me we just want our neighbour back.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Your most welcome to message me we just want our neighbour back. "

Accept that you can't save her

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

It's difficult, incredibly difficult at that severity.

I'm speaking as a sufferer, although I've not been that low in a long time.

Just be there. Be kind. Just a background positive force.

Reasoning or trying to help directly is probably not useful - beyond a certain level, that isn't easy even if you're trained.

If the family are amenable and you might be willing to, maybe ask how you can help them rather than her directly. They're more able to have a direct effect on her - and their burden is monumental right now.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The worst feeling in the world is waking up looking in the mirror and your first thought is

'today im ending the pain'

This has been a ritual for me for the plast 4 years, recently ive been 'better'.

The only advise i can give is show you care, anyone close must show they care, include them in doing things even if its a brew and some biccys for 20 mins. Walks help, fresh air and excercise helps and releases feelgood endorphins.

Crying is fine its good, again releases feel good endorphins.. i cry every morning it helps. feeling emotion is a good sign. Good luck op. Theres no right or wrong way but be there and include them. Dont mollycoddle because she may feel a burden

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The worst feeling in the world is waking up looking in the mirror and your first thought is

'today im ending the pain'

This has been a ritual for me for the plast 4 years, recently ive been 'better'.

The only advise i can give is show you care, anyone close must show they care, include them in doing things even if its a brew and some biccys for 20 mins. Walks help, fresh air and excercise helps and releases feelgood endorphins.

Crying is fine its good, again releases feel good endorphins.. i cry every morning it helps. feeling emotion is a good sign. Good luck op. Theres no right or wrong way but be there and include them. Dont mollycoddle because she may feel a burden

"

You sound such a lovely man. X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Next door neighbour has it really badly to the point of the mental health crisis team are visiting her to help improve her mental health.

In the morning when its quiet you can hear her crying no no no . Its so bad now she cant be left on her own her partner isnt working and her son and daughter are hear regularly helping out.

Spoke to one of other neighbours and we dont know what we can do to help out in anyway.

Its so hard to see her a shadow of her former self . *** When I've seen them walking up the street we all still say hello and act like we normally do and speak directly to her rather then ignore. ***

By the end of the day she does seem to get better ( his words) but as he said it must be terrible going to bed knowing its back to square one the next day.

How can you help someone who is that bad ?

"

***

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Next door neighbour has it really badly to the point of the mental health crisis team are visiting her to help improve her mental health.

In the morning when its quiet you can hear her crying no no no . Its so bad now she cant be left on her own her partner isnt working and her son and daughter are hear regularly helping out.

Spoke to one of other neighbours and we dont know what we can do to help out in anyway.

Its so hard to see her a shadow of her former self . When I've seen them walking up the street we all still say hello and act like we normally do and speak directly to her rather then ignore.

By the end of the day she does seem to get better ( his words) but as he said it must be terrible going to bed knowing its back to square one the next day.

How can you help someone who is that bad ?

"

Id say for your part keep doing what you're doing. You don't know how much of an effect it's having on her, just by talking to her normally and directly to her. Theres so much shit in the world and thats all you might see when you're suffering like that. Why get better at all? Is what she may be thinking too.

It seems to me you're a very caring person dude. Don't lose that, we need you!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I mean we as in the world

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By *oncupiscent_dreamMan
over a year ago

City

Id leave it to the pros. I have no concept of what depression even is and me saying "cheer up" probably just make things worse.

The worst I have ever felt in my whole life is "meh/bored".

I can literally just "cheer up", I'm likely to be nothing but insensitive to them.

I'm not sure if how I am is rare but I assume everytime someone gets annoyed and says "oh just cheer up" that they are like me and generally don't have a problem with it and struggle to understand how it's a problem for others.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd say it depends on how close you are? If it's just a neighbour you don't know well then I'd leave them to it but always give a friendly smile and hello when you pass by each other. If you know her well and your intentions are pure, just let her know you're there for her and ask if there's anything she needs.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Your most welcome to message me we just want our neighbour back.

Accept that you can't save her"

I wasnt trying to save her we just want as neighbours not just next door but across the street to try and help in any little way we can.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Id leave it to the pros. I have no concept of what depression even is and me saying "cheer up" probably just make things worse.

The worst I have ever felt in my whole life is "meh/bored".

I can literally just "cheer up", I'm likely to be nothing but insensitive to them.

I'm not sure if how I am is rare but I assume everytime someone gets annoyed and says "oh just cheer up" that they are like me and generally don't have a problem with it and struggle to understand how it's a problem for others."

That used to be me too.

Mr

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By *riendly BiMan
over a year ago

h

As someone who suffers from depression from time to time (thankfully the last few months have been good) the hardest part is to accept any help from anyone. Be it professional, friends or family.

Just let them know that you’re there every day and I really hope she gets through this horrible dark time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sometimes a polite good morning and a smile can make a hell of a difference!

Even a ‘how are you’ or compliment can help.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your neighbour has to find her own strength

Only she can help herself.

Deep depression like hers isolates her from people. She might not have the energy needed to do anything or interact with people. And that's the real horror of it. She needs interaction and as suggested above walks in nature or an outlet for mindfulness. But as I said. Depression robs you of the ability to interact

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"Your neighbour has to find her own strength

Only she can help herself.

Deep depression like hers isolates her from people. She might not have the energy needed to do anything or interact with people. And that's the real horror of it. She needs interaction and as suggested above walks in nature or an outlet for mindfulness. But as I said. Depression robs you of the ability to interact "

My suggestion has this as the background

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham


"Id leave it to the pros. I have no concept of what depression even is and me saying "cheer up" probably just make things worse.

The worst I have ever felt in my whole life is "meh/bored".

I can literally just "cheer up", I'm likely to be nothing but insensitive to them.

I'm not sure if how I am is rare but I assume everytime someone gets annoyed and says "oh just cheer up" that they are like me and generally don't have a problem with it and struggle to understand how it's a problem for others.

That used to be me too.

Mr"

I’m sure you didn't mean it be offensive but it’s like telling someone with cancer to just pull them self together or eat something healthy. It reflects many peoples views still that mental illness isn’t real

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By *oncupiscent_dreamMan
over a year ago

City


"I’m sure you didn't mean it be offensive but it’s like telling someone with cancer to just pull them self together or eat something healthy. It reflects many peoples views still that mental illness isn’t real "

Nope what I said was exactly the opposite. I said leave it to the pros and I would not attempt to treat it myself. Exactly like I would not try treat a cancer patient I would leave it to the pros.

In no way did my response even imply depression is not real, just that I am not equipped to treat it, educated how to treat it, or even understand it on a personal level.

Although eating healthy should be done by everyone by default. So I'd probably suggest that if they were not. But not cause of depression or cancer just cause in general I'd say it.

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

One way to show you care, without making it obvious you're actively trying to help or are concerned (coz that may actually embarrass her and heighten anxiety if she thinks people are talking about her) is to take some food round. A pie or something that's homemade, that way you could say you've made too much or was practicing a recipe so thought you'd share coz you'll never eat it all

X

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

People are very guarded nowadays but I would go round with some fruit x

Just to check

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know exactly how she feels. Im the same. Depression hits me and I feel the only escape is to end it all. Maybe this is my cry foe help. A a kind word would go a long way x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As someone who suffers from mental health I feel the best thing you can do is if you see her treat her normally and nicely and let her know that if she needs anything you are there. Yes she may not accept it as depression is a very isolating illness but deep down knowing people are there or even a simple joke or smile could make all the difference to her. A lot of people don't realise that such things can be potential life savers.

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