FabSwingers.com mobile

Join us FREE, we're FREE to use

Web's largest swingers site since 2006.

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to The Lounge

Over and Over again

Jump to newest
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Does anyone else feel like they keep doing the same mistakes over and over and over and over again? Recidivism at the purest form

Or is this just me ? A friend of mine is just as bad as me so we confort each other but we need to know we ain’t the only ones

It could be about anything and how do you deal with it?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

Insanity is repeating the same mistakes and expecting different results

Hold hands up to this*

I do repeat certain things knowing that I will at some point have to 'pay the piper' but at the time I enjoy it.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

Didn't we go over this last month?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do

Cock overules brain time and again

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ucka39Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

I did but learned not to and still learning

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Repeating patterns, no matter how much they hurt, is because we are comfortable with them. We know the outcome and do it anyway.

Only way out is to shift the comfort zone and intentionally create new patterns

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Didn't we go over this last month? "

Did we? Am I certified crazy?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Insanity is repeating the same mistakes and expecting different results

Hold hands up to this*

I do repeat certain things knowing that I will at some point have to 'pay the piper' but at the time I enjoy it."

Literally so relatable are you conscious about the fact that u do the same mistakes over and over?

As I know some people aren’t or they say they aren’t

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

I have repeated the same mistake twice unfortunately but thankfully not quite over and over (yet...)

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Try not to

But my dynamic makes it a lot easier

As stuck in the middle I don’t really date guys in such a sense or never meet a guy I would think to date in such a manner

So make it’s easier knowing it’s just sex it is what it is sort off thing

My dateing and relationship premis is normally woman

That’s not to say that a Fb or fwb for a guy wouldn’t be on the table but not full on relationship

Witch means I don’t tend to run in to the fuckboys as much or maybe I do

But because we just after the same thing don’t tend to notice it as much

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I mean it doesn’t necessarily mean these mistakes boil down to men. it can be totally general to other things like friendships or life choices in general

I’m speaking very broadly

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

wokingham

Repeated mistakes often have a pattern before then you can take steps to break.

Find the pattern and take steps to break it

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Repeated mistakes often have a pattern before then you can take steps to break.

Find the pattern and take steps to break it "

Isn’t that the hardest part? Realising and breaking them?

I think I need to call my therapist (on speed dial already ) - yet again

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *JBezantMan
over a year ago

Manchester


"Repeating patterns, no matter how much they hurt, is because we are comfortable with them. We know the outcome and do it anyway.

Only way out is to shift the comfort zone and intentionally create new patterns"

Your a wise man, maybe the power lies in the beard perhaps not. What came first the wise man or the beard?

Don’t be too hard on yourself either way, we’re all imperfect.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

wokingham


"Repeated mistakes often have a pattern before then you can take steps to break.

Find the pattern and take steps to break it

Isn’t that the hardest part? Realising and breaking them?

I think I need to call my therapist (on speed dial already ) - yet again "

The idea is that most people get stuck on “don’t do this”

But “this” is already too late because the pattern has already started

You don’t stop cheating on your diet by letting yourself get the ice cream out the freezer then saying no

You stop by realising there’s a pattern way before that. Maybe you skipped lunch which leads to an in controllable hunger later? Or maybe you forgot to meal prep so you didn’t have something easy to grab and eat? Or maybe you bought the ice cream when you know you shouldn’t

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Repeating patterns, no matter how much they hurt, is because we are comfortable with them. We know the outcome and do it anyway.

Only way out is to shift the comfort zone and intentionally create new patterns

Your a wise man, maybe the power lies in the beard perhaps not. What came first the wise man or the beard?

Don’t be too hard on yourself either way, we’re all imperfect."

The power is in the beard being hard on ourselves will only drive us further away from making the change because it lowers self worth

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Repeated mistakes often have a pattern before then you can take steps to break.

Find the pattern and take steps to break it

Isn’t that the hardest part? Realising and breaking them?

I think I need to call my therapist (on speed dial already ) - yet again

The idea is that most people get stuck on “don’t do this”

But “this” is already too late because the pattern has already started

You don’t stop cheating on your diet by letting yourself get the ice cream out the freezer then saying no

You stop by realising there’s a pattern way before that. Maybe you skipped lunch which leads to an in controllable hunger later? Or maybe you forgot to meal prep so you didn’t have something easy to grab and eat? Or maybe you bought the ice cream when you know you shouldn’t "

I’m mind blown! So true tho, you do come with some good stuff every now and again thick , I’ll give u that

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

Great! Now I have that Nelly ft Tim McGraw song stuck in my head...

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough


"Didn't we go over this last month?

Did we? Am I certified crazy? "

That makes 2 of us - at least.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *izzy.miss.lizzyCouple
over a year ago

Pembrokeshire

yes I have done

wish I knew how to avoid it but life isn't so easy sometimes

being a creature of (bad) habits isn't all fine and dandy and I have to suck up the consequences sometimes such is life!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Being too trusting of people and letting myself be walked over endlessly.

Believing people when they say they're interested, only to keep meeting others and never commit to any plans with me.

Don’t blow smoke up my arse if you’ve no intention of acting on what you’re telling me.

Actions speak a hell of a lot louder than words and I am beyond tired of listening to the bullshit I’m fed

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I went to therapy to help break my negative cycles.

I know now what triggers me but I still put myself into situations where I end up being disappointed in people and it triggers a negative emotion spiral in me.

It feeds my low self esteem and I end up in a confirmation bias spiral.

It's why swinging has been tough on my mental health.

We can get out of these behaviours. It just takes time and strong self care

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Being too trusting of people and letting myself be walked over endlessly.

Believing people when they say they're interested, only to keep meeting others and never commit to any plans with me.

Don’t blow smoke up my arse if you’ve no intention of acting on what you’re telling me.

Actions speak a hell of a lot louder than words and I am beyond tired of listening to the bullshit I’m fed "
I never chatted to you but you seem a really lovely person.

I hope it gets better for you

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I try to steer from making the same mistakes….. 50% of the time I’m good at it

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

Yeah I seem to enjoy making the same mistake over and over again

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *abs..Woman
over a year ago

..


"Didn't we go over this last month? "

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Being too trusting of people and letting myself be walked over endlessly.

Believing people when they say they're interested, only to keep meeting others and never commit to any plans with me.

Don’t blow smoke up my arse if you’ve no intention of acting on what you’re telling me.

Actions speak a hell of a lot louder than words and I am beyond tired of listening to the bullshit I’m fed "

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 04/10/21 18:26:58]

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *uriousscouserWoman
over a year ago

Wirral

I try to find patterns so I can avoid getting stuck in the cycle of making the same mistakes over and over.

There are millions of mistakes I can be making, no need to limit myself to the same ones!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I seem to keep attracting emotionally unstable women that then break up with me with the excuse that I'm too good for them and they don't want the heartbreak down the line (4 times in 3 months).

Why pretend you're fine to later admit your not? And why cut yourself if from decent people that might not actually be bad for you?

But no doubt I'll find another 1 or 2 more in the next month. Same mistakes over and over

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I try to find patterns so I can avoid getting stuck in the cycle of making the same mistakes over and over.

There are millions of mistakes I can be making, no need to limit myself to the same ones!"

It’d be nice to make different mistakes for a change

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I seem to keep attracting emotionally unstable women that then break up with me with the excuse that I'm too good for them and they don't want the heartbreak down the line (4 times in 3 months).

Why pretend you're fine to later admit your not? And why cut yourself if from decent people that might not actually be bad for you?

But no doubt I'll find another 1 or 2 more in the next month. Same mistakes over and over "

Awessss pablo hugs…

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I seem to keep attracting emotionally unstable women that then break up with me with the excuse that I'm too good for them and they don't want the heartbreak down the line (4 times in 3 months).

Why pretend you're fine to later admit your not? And why cut yourself if from decent people that might not actually be bad for you?

But no doubt I'll find another 1 or 2 more in the next month. Same mistakes over and over

Awessss pablo hugs… "

Thanks Kylie . Been feeling a bit drained with it all tbh

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Being too trusting of people and letting myself be walked over endlessly.

Believing people when they say they're interested, only to keep meeting others and never commit to any plans with me.

Don’t blow smoke up my arse if you’ve no intention of acting on what you’re telling me.

Actions speak a hell of a lot louder than words and I am beyond tired of listening to the bullshit I’m fed I never chatted to you but you seem a really lovely person.

I hope it gets better for you"

Thank you. It won’t though

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *inger_SnapWoman
over a year ago

Hampshire/Dorset

All the time.

But I'm getting better at recognising it, so therefore it doesn't happen every single time.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 
 

By *inger_SnapWoman
over a year ago

Hampshire/Dorset


"I seem to keep attracting emotionally unstable women that then break up with me with the excuse that I'm too good for them and they don't want the heartbreak down the line (4 times in 3 months).

Why pretend you're fine to later admit your not? And why cut yourself if from decent people that might not actually be bad for you?

But no doubt I'll find another 1 or 2 more in the next month. Same mistakes over and over "

It's not that you attract them, it's that they're drawn to you. If you're the one that's strong/stable/together. They probably think that you can fix them, but what they really need is therapy.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
Post new Message to Thread
back to top