FabSwingers.com forum: Cafe cooked breakfast drama

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Ffs. Stop putting the beans next to the fried eggs. Please for Gods sake sacrifice the sausages to create a barrier to protect my beloved eggs from the wet saucy beans. Or better still, serve the beans in a separate dish. Rant over.

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By *yron69Man
over a year ago

Fareham

Not mush-room on the plate then..?

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

Jeeeeeeeezus ! Tell me about it. Best thing ever was when they started putting the beans in a little bowl!

Keep the fookin' bean jizz off my stuff !!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Not mush-room on the plate then..?"

Yea but they put the mushrooms on the fried bread. Which is ok.

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By *ealthy_and_HungMan
over a year ago

Princes Risborough, Luasanne, Alderney

cafes. please just don't bother even buying any eggs in the first place ... problem solved

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By *yron69Man
over a year ago

Fareham

I prefer tinned tomatoes

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By *ustme34Man
over a year ago

Bingley

Just leave the beans off all together , keep them. and the soggy tomatoes in sauce i want proper tomatoes fried

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Jeeeeeeeezus ! Tell me about it. Best thing ever was when they started putting the beans in a little bowl!

Keep the fookin' bean jizz off my stuff !!"

Is right!!! I save the beans till last then dump them on my toast, it’s like two meals then, cooked breakky then beans on toast.

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By *ealthy_and_HungMan
over a year ago

Princes Risborough, Luasanne, Alderney

use butter on the toast not margerine ... then put the beans on the toast; it's what toast was designed for

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ffs. Stop putting the beans next to the fried eggs. Please for Gods sake sacrifice the sausages to create a barrier to protect my beloved eggs from the wet saucy beans. Or better still, serve the beans in a separate dish. Rant over. "

I feel your pain. Never go to that establishment again, like ever

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This isn't a euphamism, but I drain my beans before they go anywhere near a plate

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not fussy, just bring me breakfast *shrugs*

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"use butter on the toast not margerine ... then put the beans on the toast; it's what toast was designed for

No. I never have beans on toast. I have beans in bowl and toast on plate.

Hot juicy beans and crisp toast.... perfect.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I prefer tinned tomatoes "

That’s cool but fook why do they let my once crispy hash browns swim in the tinned tomato’s juice? Another travesty of cooked breakfast delight.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Segregate the beans!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"use butter on the toast not margerine ... then put the beans on the toast; it's what toast was designed for

Sorry. Dry toast only here. Oh and yea. Stop overcooking the black pudding. Ffs its already cooked. Stop burning it you cafe staffed luddites !!!!

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By *ustme34Man
over a year ago

Bingley

Should everything be lumped together in one big bowl as these days its all about inclusion. Maybe the eggs want bean juice and the hash browns want to swim in tomato juice

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Should everything be lumped together in one big bowl as these days its all about inclusion. Maybe the eggs want bean juice and the hash browns want to swim in tomato juice"

#FreeTheBeans

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By *ealthy_and_HungMan
over a year ago

Princes Risborough, Luasanne, Alderney

tinned tomato should be puntured to allow the juice to escape, strained and then gently warmed without stirring so as not to break them up. the juice should then be poured into a glass and served with a good few dashes of worcester sauce, tobasco and a good layer of freshly ground black pepper corns.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Jeeeeeeeezus ! Tell me about it. Best thing ever was when they started putting the beans in a little bowl!

Keep the fookin' bean jizz off my stuff !!"

bean jizz

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"use butter on the toast not margerine ... then put the beans on the toast; it's what toast was designed for

Sorry. Dry toast only here. Oh and yea. Stop overcooking the black pudding. Ffs its already cooked. Stop burning it you cafe staffed luddites !!!! "

I steam mine Michele ? Bob ? Bob ? Michele ?

I'd say Bob the amount of moaning..... Bob ?

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By *gent CoulsonMan
over a year ago

Secret hideaway in the pennines

Stop picking on that lovely bean juice.

Baked beans rock

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"use butter on the toast not margerine ... then put the beans on the toast; it's what toast was designed for

Sorry. Dry toast only here. Oh and yea. Stop overcooking the black pudding. Ffs its already cooked. Stop burning it you cafe staffed luddites !!!!

I steam mine Michele ? Bob ? Bob ? Michele ?

I'd say Bob the amount of moaning..... Bob ?"

Yea it’s Bob xxx. It’s not really a moan. Bean juice on eggs!! Come on.

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By *ealthy_and_HungMan
over a year ago

Princes Risborough, Luasanne, Alderney

pints of bean juice make excellent protein drinks for gym crazed spice bois

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"use butter on the toast not margerine ... then put the beans on the toast; it's what toast was designed for

Sorry. Dry toast only here. Oh and yea. Stop overcooking the black pudding. Ffs its already cooked. Stop burning it you cafe staffed luddites !!!!

I steam mine Michele ? Bob ? Bob ? Michele ?

I'd say Bob the amount of moaning..... Bob ?

Yea it’s Bob xxx. It’s not really a moan. Bean juice on eggs!! Come on. "

You're right Bob....... it's insanity!

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

I'd just stop going out for food if I were you, drama everywhere

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"use butter on the toast not margerine ... then put the beans on the toast; it's what toast was designed for

Sorry. Dry toast only here. Oh and yea. Stop overcooking the black pudding. Ffs its already cooked. Stop burning it you cafe staffed luddites !!!!

I steam mine Michele ? Bob ? Bob ? Michele ?

I'd say Bob the amount of moaning..... Bob ?"

I’ll try steaming my own black pudding. Have you tried Lidl’s, it’s black pudding with oats. Really nice btw.

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

Thought I was only one who dont like the beans near the egg x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Should everything be lumped together in one big bowl as these days its all about inclusion. Maybe the eggs want bean juice and the hash browns want to swim in tomato juice"

Michelle mixes all hers together. That’s why I won’t marry her. Fookin animal.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Thought I was only one who dont like the beans near the egg x"

Hey let’s block the motorways. Stop the bean juice touching the eggs, against the world. Come on!!!!!!!

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By *ustme34Man
over a year ago

Bingley

"Should everything be lumped together in one big bowl as these days its all about inclusion. Maybe the eggs want bean juice and the hash browns want to swim in tomato juice

Michelle mixes all hers together. That’s why I won’t marry her. Fookin animal. "
maybe its the future

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By *asilyled1Man
over a year ago

ogmore valley

If I’m having a cooked breakfast just chuck it all on boyo! Beans tinned tomatoes fried tomatoes.

Now I’m hungry

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By *izzy.miss.lizzyCouple
over a year ago

Pembrokeshire

just bacon and mushrooms for me please, with a side of toast and cup of coffee, no drama

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why don’t you just ask for the beans in a separate bowl? Would be a lot less hassle surely.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"use butter on the toast not margerine ... then put the beans on the toast; it's what toast was designed for

Sorry. Dry toast only here. Oh and yea. Stop overcooking the black pudding. Ffs its already cooked. Stop burning it you cafe staffed luddites !!!!

I steam mine Michele ? Bob ? Bob ? Michele ?

I'd say Bob the amount of moaning..... Bob ?

I’ll try steaming my own black pudding. Have you tried Lidl’s, it’s black pudding with oats. Really nice btw. "

Tip. Put the black pud on a plate. Sprinkle some water..... or put one spoon of water on the plate ( not too much ) cover with a bowl or plate or saucer. Micro one min......... bloody lovely.

Nope ...... here comes the best bit Bob....

I'm VEGAN ... about 5 years now.

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

I can't stand things in pots on my plate. Just unecessary faff

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"Why don’t you just ask for the beans in a separate bowl? Would be a lot less hassle surely. "

What would he moan about ?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"use butter on the toast not margerine ... then put the beans on the toast; it's what toast was designed for

Sorry. Dry toast only here. Oh and yea. Stop overcooking the black pudding. Ffs its already cooked. Stop burning it you cafe staffed luddites !!!!

I steam mine Michele ? Bob ? Bob ? Michele ?

I'd say Bob the amount of moaning..... Bob ?

I’ll try steaming my own black pudding. Have you tried Lidl’s, it’s black pudding with oats. Really nice btw.

Tip. Put the black pud on a plate. Sprinkle some water..... or put one spoon of water on the plate ( not too much ) cover with a bowl or plate or saucer. Micro one min......... bloody lovely.

Nope ...... here comes the best bit Bob....

I'm VEGAN ... about 5 years now. "

Well thanks for the cooking tip xxx.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Haha this is funny. I can't stand places that put all the elements into lots of little dishes /bowls. I'm thinking of the poor pot washer in the kitchen!! And it's hard enough to get a hot plate, never mind heating up all the little dishes!!

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By *riar BelisseWoman
over a year ago

On Holibobs

I like my fried egg on top of my beans

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By *ink Panther.Woman
over a year ago

Preston

"Jeeeeeeeezus ! Tell me about it. Best thing ever was when they started putting the beans in a little bowl!

Keep the fookin' bean jizz off my stuff !!"

Bean jizz

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We use little ramekins now and saves all issues

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I like my fried egg on top of my beans"

That almost deserves a profile block.

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By *yron69Man
over a year ago

Fareham

Cooked breakfasts can get too gooey what with ketchup, mustard, brown sauce, black pudding…

And toast served with rock hard butter straight out of the fridge!

Get back to basics. Good rashers, eggs… for me best with fried new potatoes. Dash of sauce.

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By *elvet RopeMan
over a year ago

by the big field

Don't stay in a Premier inn, you have to cook your own toast and then somehow shoehorn it on to the loaded plate...then scoop your scrambled eggs and beans on to it- meh!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Once I ordered a sausage sandwich. When it arrived I had two sausages on a plate with two slices of bread and a foul wrapped rock hard lump of lurpack. When I asked "what the fuck is this" they replied its our policy because of allergies. The bread ripped into pieces as I tried to spread the butter over it.

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By *arkus1812Man
over a year ago

Finedon ,

When it was 5 am in a winter morning and I have spent 3 hrs trying to persuade someone at Covent Garden/Billingsgate/Smithfield Markets to buy a new refrigerated vehicle I would not give two hoots about how the big breakfast plate is laid out.

Happily long retired now but do miss my London markets breakfasts.

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By *urplechesterCouple
over a year ago

chester

I would personally prefer mine served tapas style, just give me lots of little bowls and then I can chose what I’d like the wet stuff to contaminate! Can I also add, oh the disappointment when they fill the hp bottle with none hp! Just wrong haha

Miss pc

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

"Don't stay in a Premier inn, you have to cook your own toast and then somehow shoehorn it on to the loaded plate...then scoop your scrambled eggs and beans on to it- meh!!!!

Cook toast first then go butter it then load up plate. Pretty simple.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

"Once I ordered a sausage sandwich. When it arrived I had two sausages on a plate with two slices of bread and a foul wrapped rock hard lump of lurpack. When I asked "what the fuck is this" they replied its our policy because of allergies. The bread ripped into pieces as I tried to spread the butter over it."

Place the rocks of Lurpak on the toast (or anything warm). Leave briefly. Unwrap and spread. Works with the butter for your scones too, just use your brew mug to do the warming. You're welcome

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always put my eggs right on top of the beans... I'll see myself out

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I prefer the beans to be separate on a little jar as I usually don’t have them and if I do, I’d like to get some as I never am able to finish them anyway so … yes , I agree!!

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By *izzpopperMan
over a year ago

lewisham

I feel I must interject into this lively debate... However my first comment to some above posts might be; is where the fuck do some of you lot eat in 'cafes'...

Secondly who even dares mention Premier Inn with cardboard strips painted pink, butter that has similar consistency to cement... I shan't go on..

And not that I have a direct problem with beans or egg, lest we forget the fried egg usually laces the plate in fat! #justsaying

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By *iger4uWoman
over a year ago

In my happy place

Beans dont belong

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By *elvet RopeMan
over a year ago

by the big field

"Don't stay in a Premier inn, you have to cook your own toast and then somehow shoehorn it on to the loaded plate...then scoop your scrambled eggs and beans on to it- meh!!!!

Cook toast first then go butter it then load up plate. Pretty simple. "

You cook your toast, they cook your breakfast and bring it to you on a separate plate

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By *oubleswing2019Man
over a year ago

Colchester

"Beans dont belong"

I find beans a very good indicator as to the type of establishment.

For example, if they serve Heinz Beans, which you can certainly learn to recognise, you can infer with some confidence that if they are not scrimping on the pennies with the beans, they are not likely to do the same with the other ingredients. A better class establishment, in other words.

If they're serving something else, then their margins mean more than the quality they serve.

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By *iger4uWoman
over a year ago

In my happy place

"Beans dont belong

I find beans a very good indicator as to the type of establishment.

If they're serving something else, then their margins mean more than the quality they serve."

I dont eat Heinz beans. Branston all the way.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Beans dont belong

I find beans a very good indicator as to the type of establishment.

If they're serving something else, then their margins mean more than the quality they serve.

I dont eat Heinz beans. Branston all the way. "

What about hienz beans and the little sausages? Surely the ultimate food of kings?

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By *ussexualMan
over a year ago

Brighton

Jesus, if everybody on this thread secretly Alan Partridge?

"Alan Partridge : [about Sonja's full English breakfast] I've made a few notes. Yes, uh... Bacon, 10 on 10. Button mushrooms, bingo. Black pudding, snap. Minor criticism, more distance between the eggs and the beans. I may want to mix them but I want that to be my decision. Use a sausage as a breakwater. But I'm nit-picking, on the whole, a very good effort - 7 on 10. Let's make love. "

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By *ussexualMan
over a year ago

Brighton

"Beans dont belong

I find beans a very good indicator as to the type of establishment.

If they're serving something else, then their margins mean more than the quality they serve.

I dont eat Heinz beans. Branston all the way. "

Yes, yes, yes - once you've had Branston you'll never be satisfied with Heinz

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By *iger4uWoman
over a year ago

In my happy place

"Beans dont belong

I find beans a very good indicator as to the type of establishment.

If they're serving something else, then their margins mean more than the quality they serve.

I dont eat Heinz beans. Branston all the way.

What about hienz beans and the little sausages? Surely the ultimate food of kings? "

Yuk no. Child food

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just wish they would not heat the beans

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