FabSwingers.com forum: Feeling safe and warning signs

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I have got into a great discussion this morning about women feeling safe around men, walking alone, etc and the main topic was not teaching and education women to be safe as this then restricts what women can do.

The main topic was the education of men and awareness that even the most innocent of actions can lead to a women being scared, especially recent events.

One of the things that I am very aware of walking home late at night, often on my own, and seeing a single woman ahead of me. I always aware that she may feel threatened by my presence so I will always take a different route home so that I am not following her.

This is just one example of what men can do to reduce the threat and anxiety levels.

I would love to hear other serious!! Suggestions of what else men can do to reduce the threat or anxiety so many women are made to feel even when the intention from the male is innocent

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I appreciate your efforts but (and obviously I'm only speaking for myself here) I'm not sure they're entirely necessary? A man walking behind me is not going to make me feel unsafe. A man walking behind me and doing/saying creepy things is. I would also argue that if you're the sort of man who is willing to seek out this kind of advice and education then you're probably not part of the problem.

I really don't expect anyone to inconvenience themselves on my behalf. I just don't want them to attack me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You can't educate those who will attack women....you can only hope to get through to males at a young age,teach them respect and empathy for everyone....sadly these horrific acts will continue but you can try and reduce them

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By *2000ManMan
over a year ago

Worthing

When I worked in an office, I used to park and walk to/from car. I would cross road to overtake a woman on her own in the dark evenings.

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

I was putting my trolley away in the dark, underground tesco car park a few days ago and turned around and didn't hear a man had come up behind me to wait to put his away. He must have realised from my face or something when I turned around that he had slightly startled me because he apologised to me. I found it quite sweet as he really hadn't done anything wrong. He was just a man minding his own business waiting to put his trolley back. I believe he recognised though that for a woman it can be unnerving to find a large man unexpectedly behind you in a dark, secluded place. It was appreciated.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldn't change my route but I would cross over the road, to give some distance.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

Do not take another route home.

Maybe just cross over and walk a bit ahead.

If all the safe blokes take a different route that only leaves someone alone with the unsafe bloke !

Reminds me of pacman.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I appreciate your efforts but (and obviously I'm only speaking for myself here) I'm not sure they're entirely necessary? A man walking behind me is not going to make me feel unsafe. A man walking behind me and doing/saying creepy things is. I would also argue that if you're the sort of man who is willing to seek out this kind of advice and education then you're probably not part of the problem.

I really don't expect anyone to inconvenience themselves on my behalf. I just don't want them to attack me. "

I have had several women in the past approach me for help because they have felt so uneasy walking home from a night out.

In group discussion I’m having also involves many women who have experienced this in some form. Felt like a guy had followed them from a bar etc. You could call it paranoid to some extent but always better safe than sorry

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"I wouldn't change my route but I would cross over the road, to give some distance. "

Correct Balliol Oxford your stater for 10 .........

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I really don't expect anyone to inconvenience themselves on my behalf. I just don't want them to attack me.

I have had several women in the past approach me for help because they have felt so uneasy walking home from a night out.

What made them approach you for help?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I was putting my trolley away in the dark, underground tesco car park a few days ago and turned around and didn't hear a man had come up behind me to wait to put his away. He must have realised from my face or something when I turned around that he had slightly startled me because he apologised to me. I found it quite sweet as he really hadn't done anything wrong. He was just a man minding his own business waiting to put his trolley back. I believe he recognised though that for a woman it can be unnerving to find a large man unexpectedly behind you in a dark, secluded place. It was appreciated. "

This of an awesome story and a great guy who is fully aware

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

I really don't expect anyone to inconvenience themselves on my behalf. I just don't want them to attack me.

I have had several women in the past approach me for help because they have felt so uneasy walking home from a night out.

Yeah ......

Let's call it paranoia.... Those made birds eh ?

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By *dam1971Man
over a year ago

Bedford

"Maybe just cross over and walk a bit ahead. "

I do this sometimes

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I really don't expect anyone to inconvenience themselves on my behalf. I just don't want them to attack me.

I have had several women in the past approach me for help because they have felt so uneasy walking home from a night out.

What made them approach you for help?"

That’s a great question. Maybe it’s my demeanour but people have always felt safe around me some reason. Even strangers.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

Is that you jesus ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I really don't expect anyone to inconvenience themselves on my behalf. I just don't want them to attack me.

I have had several women in the past approach me for help because they have felt so uneasy walking home from a night out.

Fair enough. I've been followed almost to my home before so I know what it feels like, and what the difference is between being followed and just having someone walk behind you. But appreciate that recent events are probably putting people on edge

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I really don't expect anyone to inconvenience themselves on my behalf. I just don't want them to attack me.

I have had several women in the past approach me for help because they have felt so uneasy walking home from a night out.

What made them approach you for help?

That’s a great question. Maybe it’s my demeanour but people have always felt safe around me some reason. Even strangers. "

It seems odd that if a woman is feeling threatened by a male stranger that she'd approach another one for help

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I really don't expect anyone to inconvenience themselves on my behalf. I just don't want them to attack me.

I have had several women in the past approach me for help because they have felt so uneasy walking home from a night out.

Yeah ......

Let's call it paranoia.... Those made birds eh ? "

Paranoid was one of the words they used not me

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I really don't expect anyone to inconvenience themselves on my behalf. I just don't want them to attack me.

I have had several women in the past approach me for help because they have felt so uneasy walking home from a night out.

What made them approach you for help?

That’s a great question. Maybe it’s my demeanour but people have always felt safe around me some reason. Even strangers.

It seems odd that if a woman is feeling threatened by a male stranger that she'd approach another one for help "

Even if the behaviour was very suspicious?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m not sure why you’re getting a hard time op.

It’s a great subject, and one that should be brought out into the open more.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I’m not sure why you’re getting a hard time op.

It’s a great subject, and one that should be brought out into the open more."

Thank you. All I have done is give one example as was hoping that other suggestions can be put forward so I can feed back.

Meeting strangers like we do here places us often in vulnerable situations

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When I worked in an office, I used to park and walk to/from car. I would cross road to overtake a woman on her own in the dark evenings."

This. Crossing the road is not a major inconvenience and I'm happier when I can see a guy in front of me.

Maybe it's cause I'm older but I'm not as threatened or scared as I was when I was younger. Which makes absolutely no sense when you think about it, as the world hasn't got any safer.

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

I really don't expect anyone to inconvenience themselves on my behalf. I just don't want them to attack me.

I have had several women in the past approach me for help because they have felt so uneasy walking home from a night out.

As long as I remember I've felt nervous at times if a man is walking behind me, particularly after dark in a quiet place. If they pass and carry on with their journey I feel bad about being suspicious of them. I think it's more an awareness of my own vulnerability than it is to do with the specific people.

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By *mma29Couple
over a year ago

wirral

I don't feel anxious or scared by men when I'm walking alone, 99.9% are normal so I can't live my life thinking I'm going to be attacked. I just try to be sensible...I don't take the short cuts through quiet back roads to the station etc when it's dark and quiet.

I'd actually prefer a man to also be walking in the vacinity than to be on my own, its off putting to any weirdos, and to the men I'd say just act normal. We're all just out walking home from work or a night out or whatever.

I'd only worry if they changed the speed of their walk to mirror mine. I think that's a sign to run into tesco or something.

There's bad women out there too, it's not just men you need to be aware of.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I don't generally feel unsafe. Statistically I'm far more likely to arrive him in one piece if I walk home via a dark unlit street than if I drive home the same way.

I am not suspicious of all men, I am suspicious of men who display certain behaviours

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I don't generally feel unsafe. Statistically I'm far more likely to arrive him in one piece if I walk home via a dark unlit street than if I drive home the same way.

I am not suspicious of all men, I am suspicious of men who display certain behaviours"

What are those certain behaviours?

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By *ndy64hMan
over a year ago

Plymouth

"I have got into a great discussion this morning about women feeling safe around men, walking alone, etc and the main topic was not teaching and education women to be safe as this then restricts what women can do.

The main topic was the education of men and awareness that even the most innocent of actions can lead to a women being scared, especially recent events.

This is just one example of what men can do to reduce the threat and anxiety levels.

I would love to hear other serious!! Suggestions of what else men can do to reduce the threat or anxiety so many women are made to feel even when the intention from the male is innocent"

Whilst I agree with your sentiment, if you're not a danger to the woman wouldn't it be better to carry on as normal, as your presence may protect her from being attack by someone else. The world is full of evil, and it looks for opportunities to strike when it's safe for them to do so.

Also women aren't the only ones at risk walking home alone at night.

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

I think there are people who get it and people who don't.

When I was in my teens and twenties I used to have to walk a couple miles home alone after work in the pub, in a place I'd been attacked before. And every time I was terrified when a man, or a group of men, were behind me. Or coming towards me on the same side of the road.

These days I live in a hell of a safe place, and I still feel that fear when the same thing happens. Nice times out of ten in this tiny town, I'll even know the person or people. Doesn't stop me being concerned.

That's my issue. Mine. And it's down to personal experiences. I'm also worried about groups of women for similar reasons as it happens. I'm aware it's not all men and not all women that I should be suspicious of, but sometimes you just can't tell. And I'd rather feel bad for being suspicious than feel pain because I've been attacked.

I appreciate when men think through things like you and others do OP, and really appreciate the obvious gesture of crossing the road, or walking away, in order to make us feel safer.

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By *anilla switchWoman
over a year ago

Hampshire

Had an awful experience with a guy who followed and attacked me many years ago, thank fully no lasting injuries or scars. But the mental scars it left still haunt me now.

It’s a horrible feeling to be fearful, have palpitations, hot sweats and like you say, people just happen to be walking behind you.

Kickboxing and getting a big arse dog has helped hugely…. Although neither are appreciated in Tesco

C x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I regularly walk down isolated roads that have few residents and long stretches of secluded, dark, twisty footpaths wearing gym leggings

I've stopped walking at night now it has got dark - it really frustrates me that I've done this

I'm thinking about how i can change ny mindset and perhaps take something with me (a weapon /alarm) to allow me to retain my lifestyle and independence

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"I don't generally feel unsafe. Statistically I'm far more likely to arrive him in one piece if I walk home via a dark unlit street than if I drive home the same way.

I am not suspicious of all men, I am suspicious of men who display certain behaviours

What are those certain behaviours? "

Depends on the circumstances.

In a social/work situation an example is invading personal space. On the street it's shadowing.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

The main topic was the education of men and awareness that even the most innocent of actions can lead to a women being scared, especially recent events.

This is just one example of what men can do to reduce the threat and anxiety levels.

I would love to hear other serious!! Suggestions of what else men can do to reduce the threat or anxiety so many women are made to feel even when the intention from the male is innocent

Also women aren't the only ones at risk walking home alone at night. "

This was just one example but thank you

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By *agneto.Man
over a year ago

Bham

This all reads a bit virtue signally. Attacking people is not on my agenda. So I'm not going to be altering routes so I don't pass a woman in a street taking a longer way home, and increasing my chances of getting mugged.

Of course when I'm passing them, I give them a wide berth, I'm not on top of them so close they can hear or feel my breath. That just common sense and common decency.

I generally walk fast so I'll probably pass them by quickly anyway.

I don't leer, beep or shout comments at women in the street. I just get on with whatever I'm getting on with.

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

"I’m not sure why you’re getting a hard time op.

It’s a great subject, and one that should be brought out into the open more."

I agree.

The topic needs discussion. Sadly if a guy airs it then he’s accused of virtue signalling or white knighting.

It appears that guys can’t do right for doing wrong at times with some people

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I think there are people who get it and people who don't.

I appreciate when men think through things like you and others do OP, and really appreciate the obvious gesture of crossing the road, or walking away, in order to make us feel safer."

Through raised awareness in my life maybe I am just more aware than others and I get that but I wouldn’t ever want anyone to feel unsafe through my presence so I take action to remove myself from any possible situation that can be misunderstood.

You should never feel bad about being suspicious of another persons actions.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"This all reads a bit virtue signally. Attacking people is not on my agenda. So I'm not going to be altering routes so I don't pass a woman in a street taking a longer way home, and increasing my chances of getting mugged.

Of course when I'm passing them, I give them a wide berth, I'm not on top of them so close they can hear or feel my breath. That just common sense and common decency.

I generally walk fast so I'll probably pass them by quickly anyway.

I don't leer, beep or shout comments at women in the street. I just get on with whatever I'm getting on with.

Most men are like you

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By *uliette500Woman
over a year ago

Hull

"Do not take another route home.

Maybe just cross over and walk a bit ahead.

If all the safe blokes take a different route that only leaves someone alone with the unsafe bloke !

Reminds me of pacman. "

I agree.

We need the good guys to stay around don't avoid us as your presence in the area will be a deterrent if there does happen to be a man looking to attack a lone female.

Cross the road so you are not directly behind us if you feel the need to but don't change your route and leave us walking alone.

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

Of course when I'm passing them, I give them a wide berth, I'm not on top of them so close they can hear or feel my breath. That just common sense and common decency.

I generally walk fast so I'll probably pass them by quickly anyway.

I don't leer, beep or shout comments at women in the street. I just get on with whatever I'm getting on with.

Unfortunately it isn't common sense for all. All he's talking about is what you say you already do. Give space and don't linger in their vicinity.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I regularly walk down isolated roads that have few residents and long stretches of secluded, dark, twisty footpaths wearing gym leggings

I've stopped walking at night now it has got dark - it really frustrates me that I've done this

I'm thinking about how i can change ny mindset and perhaps take something with me (a weapon /alarm) to allow me to retain my lifestyle and independence

Thank you for sharing x

This is the point of the discussion really that you shouldn’t have to feel like this if we can educate and inform men of their actions and to take responsibility for them through raising awareness then we can reduce the feelings of the need for you to protect yourself

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By *mma29Couple
over a year ago

wirral

"I regularly walk down isolated roads that have few residents and long stretches of secluded, dark, twisty footpaths wearing gym leggings

I've stopped walking at night now it has got dark - it really frustrates me that I've done this

I'm thinking about how i can change ny mindset and perhaps take something with me (a weapon /alarm) to allow me to retain my lifestyle and independence

Why does it matter what you're wearing?

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By *tue555Man
over a year ago

Passed Beyond Reach

Are we now saying that all men have to take alternative routes to avoid making women feel uneasy, maybe we should curfew men (oh thats been suggested) maybe should castrate all men at 18, like animals.

I'm not going to avoid women, cross the road or take altenative routes. I have worked with women all my working life and always treated them with decency and respect, even when they have been nasty and spiteful to me for no reason

So we im not going to be brow beaten and made to feel guilty about going about my normal business just because of a few sad events, and bad apples

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I regularly walk down isolated roads that have few residents and long stretches of secluded, dark, twisty footpaths wearing gym leggings

I've stopped walking at night now it has got dark - it really frustrates me that I've done this

I'm thinking about how i can change ny mindset and perhaps take something with me (a weapon /alarm) to allow me to retain my lifestyle and independence

Why does it matter what you're wearing?

Oh.. If i was wearing jeans I don't think I'd feel as vulnerable

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would hate to think that a man should feel that he would have to change his route or change his behaviours because of how I might perceive his actions...I refuse to be suspicious of anyone unless they give me reason too.

That said I feel safer walking around Edinburgh late night than I do my home town....The city doesn't sleep.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just be normal, if you are changing your behaviour and acting "twitchy" worrying about how you may be perceived it might trigger alarm bells. Most women that are around late at night do not view others as a threat. Its the ones that are not around that worry on their behalf. Men are at much greater risk of attack. People don't seen to realise that. Serial killers Dahmer, Nelson and Gacy all murdered men. Young men are at threat by other men in London because of Postcodes. Many men are r@p3d but not reported because of the stigma attached to it. There are probably loads of men that have been r@p3d and murdered but no one is looking for them because they were sleeping rough of vulnerable adults. The media loves to feed us fear. London is safer now then it ever was because of CCTV. All the low level sex offenders have moved on from flashing at bus stops to sending dick picks on fab. Any attack on a woman is one too many but they are still relatively rare.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Of course when I'm passing them, I give them a wide berth, I'm not on top of them so close they can hear or feel my breath. That just common sense and common decency.

I generally walk fast so I'll probably pass them by quickly anyway.

I don't leer, beep or shout comments at women in the street. I just get on with whatever I'm getting on with.

The discussion was started by women and I have just brought it to a platform where vulnerability is often talked about.

Your intentions are absolutely innocent and you are aware already which is awesome.

But how common is common sense?

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By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

wokingham

Why should I inconvenience myself for someone else?

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Are we now saying that all men have to take alternative routes to avoid making women feel uneasy, maybe we should curfew men (oh thats been suggested) maybe should castrate all men at 18, like animals.

So we im not going to be brow beaten and made to feel guilty about going about my normal business just because of a few sad events, and bad apples"

Nope, well I'm not anyway.

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"I’m not sure why you’re getting a hard time op.

It’s a great subject, and one that should be brought out into the open more.

I agree.

The topic needs discussion. Sadly if a guy airs it then he’s accused of virtue signalling or white knighting.

It appears that guys can’t do right for doing wrong at times with some people "

Absolutely this. It's not quite knighting or virtue signalling to want to have a discussion or to just be a good person.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I regularly walk down isolated roads that have few residents and long stretches of secluded, dark, twisty footpaths wearing gym leggings

I've stopped walking at night now it has got dark - it really frustrates me that I've done this

I'm thinking about how i can change ny mindset and perhaps take something with me (a weapon /alarm) to allow me to retain my lifestyle and independence

Thank you for sharing x

Mostly its pressure from horrified friends /family TELLING me i will be attacked if i go to these places on my own in the dark (like I'm asking to be attacked - almost giving permission by being there?) .. And then you start to believe the hype

I think i need to woman up... and get a good torch and perhaps walk with just one ear bud in, not two

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

So we im not going to be brow beaten and made to feel guilty about going about my normal business just because of a few sad events, and bad apples"

I haven’t said that at all so I’m not sure where you have got that from.

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

So we im not going to be brow beaten and made to feel guilty about going about my normal business just because of a few sad events, and bad apples"

Nobody is saying you HAVE to do anything. The same way you don't HAVE to hold doors open for people, let people go before you, give your parking ticket with leftover time on to someone, say please and thank you, etc. Nobody is forcing you but it's nice and it's appreciated.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've seen something about a self defense keychain, has an alarm, a UK version of pepper spray and other safety devices.

Looks quite helpful for those who have to walk at night or just feel uneasy at the moment

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its pointless a man coming on here and saying they do this and that....these men are not the problem, just because you don't scare women you don't get a badge

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Its pointless a man coming on here and saying they do this and that....these men are not the problem, just because you don't scare women you don't get a badge"

But it might help raise awareness.

Maybe someone does something they aren’t aware of?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not my concern and I couldn't care less however a lady walking home alone isn't asking for it at night but she's vulnerable.

If a lady goes out and walks home she should be with someone or inna taxi with the reg noted or you know what can happen worst case .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Its pointless a man coming on here and saying they do this and that....these men are not the problem, just because you don't scare women you don't get a badge

But it might help raise awareness.

Maybe someone does something they aren’t aware of?"

I'm all for raising awareness.. minus the opportunity to say 'I'm a good guy'

Let others decide that instead of telling them you are

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Not my concern and I couldn't care less however a lady walking home alone isn't asking for it at night but she's vulnerable.

If a lady goes out and walks home she should be with someone or inna taxi with the reg noted or you know what can happen worst case .

You couldn’t care less about what?

Also, it sounds a little like victim blaming.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Its pointless a man coming on here and saying they do this and that....these men are not the problem, just because you don't scare women you don't get a badge"

It is about awareness. It’s about asking men to take responsibility for their actions even if those actions don’t need to change. It’s about men educating other men rather than about asking women to change their behaviours so men can do what they like.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Not my concern and I couldn't care less however a lady walking home alone isn't asking for it at night but she's vulnerable.

If a lady goes out and walks home she should be with someone or inna taxi with the reg noted or you know what can happen worst case .

What if you don't have, or don't want a chaperone? Do you really mean i shouldn't be out on my own because I'm female

See this response pushes my buttons and makes me thimk, yeah, lets ban men from the streets so they experience what privilege is really like

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Not my concern and I couldn't care less however a lady walking home alone isn't asking for it at night but she's vulnerable.

If a lady goes out and walks home she should be with someone or inna taxi with the reg noted or you know what can happen worst case .

You couldn’t care less about what?

Also, it sounds a little like victim blaming.

Can you explain why a women should have to take extra steps to ensure her safety when as a man you feel no need to?

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By *riar BelisseWoman
over a year ago

Delightful Bliss

If I don't like being followed by anyone then I stop and let them pass me. tbf I'm not paying any attention to single males, as I'm more concerned with gangs of kids on the street

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When out walking in the street, I always cross over the road , if I see A lady walking alone in front of me , even in daylight ,I’m a fast Walker so could be scary if I walk fast up to someone

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"Not my concern and I couldn't care less however a lady walking home alone isn't asking for it at night but she's vulnerable.

If a lady goes out and walks home she should be with someone or inna taxi with the reg noted or you know what can happen worst case .

The point is that no one, male or female, should feel like they have to "know what can happen".

Round here chances are I'm not going to be going home in the same direction as the people I'm with. And a taxi is hard to come by.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If I don't like being followed by anyone then I stop and let them pass me. tbf I'm not paying any attention to single males, as I'm more concerned with gangs of kids on the street"

Yup, this is me too.. Actually I've found with covid people naturally give you a wider berth or wait for you to pass

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

[Removed by poster at 02/10/21 11:54:17]

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

"Its pointless a man coming on here and saying they do this and that....these men are not the problem, just because you don't scare women you don't get a badge"

Maybe and maybe there are guys on here that are the problem, maybe some people around here are abusers.

Just because people post, that doesn’t make them good people

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Not my concern and I couldn't care less however a lady walking home alone isn't asking for it at night but she's vulnerable.

If a lady goes out and walks home she should be with someone or inna taxi with the reg noted or you know what can happen worst case .

The point is that no one, male or female, should feel like they have to "know what can happen".

Round here chances are I'm not going to be going home in the same direction as the people I'm with. And a taxi is hard to come by.

And look at the guy who was drugging /r*ping women in his cab

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By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

wokingham

"Not my concern and I couldn't care less however a lady walking home alone isn't asking for it at night but she's vulnerable.

If a lady goes out and walks home she should be with someone or inna taxi with the reg noted or you know what can happen worst case .

You couldn’t care less about what?

Also, it sounds a little like victim blaming.

Can you explain why a women should have to take extra steps to ensure her safety when as a man you feel no need to? "

They don’t need to because they are safer than men

Men take extra steps to feel safer. I get a taxi or ask for a lift in rough areas. Women are free to do the same

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

For those who don’t understand or are questioning why, I found this song to be quite a handy way to explain how many women feel

https://youtu.be/FnNfEi-7evw

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"Not my concern and I couldn't care less however a lady walking home alone isn't asking for it at night but she's vulnerable.

If a lady goes out and walks home she should be with someone or inna taxi with the reg noted or you know what can happen worst case .

The point is that no one, male or female, should feel like they have to "know what can happen".

Round here chances are I'm not going to be going home in the same direction as the people I'm with. And a taxi is hard to come by.

And look at the guy who was drugging /r*ping women in his cab

Exactly!

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

"Not my concern and I couldn't care less however a lady walking home alone isn't asking for it at night but she's vulnerable.

If a lady goes out and walks home she should be with someone or inna taxi with the reg noted or you know what can happen worst case .

You couldn’t care less about what?

Also, it sounds a little like victim blaming.

Can you explain why a women should have to take extra steps to ensure her safety when as a man you feel no need to?

They don’t need to because they are safer than men

Men take extra steps to feel safer. I get a taxi or ask for a lift in rough areas. Women are free to do the same "

I’m sorry but you’re talking absolute rubbish.

I do find it amusing how you talk about equality and parity in one thread but then argue the difference between genders in another.

I think that you just enjoy being contrary

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

I've seen other threads on here asking if fathers with daughters have changed the way they speak to women or if it has given them a greater understanding of what women have to deal with?

As the father of 3 daughters I haven't changed a single thing.

I've always been aware of my behaviour and as well as treating everyone as an equal I've never done or said anything that could be perceived as threatening.

As others have said, the type of people who attack others are not open to education. As far as educating the general public that won't come from public awareness schemes or political statements. It comes from their upbringing and how they have been taught at a young age to act around others.

The biggest thing to come from a conversation with my daughters in regards to all this is that they are fed up with people, both men and women, who continuously claim that all women are victims when they obviously aren't. That belief makes them feel inferior and angry.

The eldest is almost 30 and in her opinion the only times she had ever felt unsafe or wary was in the company of other women.

Of course everyone should be aware of their actions but as can be seen in this thread when a man asks questions or tries to have a better understanding some people feel the need to tar and feather.

You can't say that education is the way forward if you dismiss those asking to be educated.

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

Taxi’s are not always as safe as you think. I was locked in a taxi in my late teens and not allowed to exit until I had kissed the taxi driver.

This was before mobile phones.

I’m just glad I was sat in the back.

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By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

wokingham

"Not my concern and I couldn't care less however a lady walking home alone isn't asking for it at night but she's vulnerable.

If a lady goes out and walks home she should be with someone or inna taxi with the reg noted or you know what can happen worst case .

You couldn’t care less about what?

Also, it sounds a little like victim blaming.

Can you explain why a women should have to take extra steps to ensure her safety when as a man you feel no need to?

They don’t need to because they are safer than men

Men take extra steps to feel safer. I get a taxi or ask for a lift in rough areas. Women are free to do the same

I’m sorry but you’re talking absolute rubbish.

I do find it amusing how you talk about equality and parity in one thread but then argue the difference between genders in another.

I think that you just enjoy being contrary "

The question was why men don’t need to take steps to be safer and women do

Men aren’t safe

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Its pointless a man coming on here and saying they do this and that....these men are not the problem, just because you don't scare women you don't get a badge

Exactly, I think if everyone made a conscious effort to look out for each other as well it may help.

You hear of examples of where people don't want to get involved in situations they see because 'it's not my business' well it should be.

How many times do we drive past someone who's car has broken down? How many people stop? Fwiw, I always do regardless of whether it is a male or female (ooh virtue signalling, get me hey) we have to look out for each other because how else can we move forward.

I have always taught my sons about respect and empathy

[Warning- Virtue signalling]Proud I had succeeded at this was one night my teenage son was coming home on the bus, he had alighted and there was a girl who didn't have enough for her fare, the driver refused to let her on it was raining and dark my boy was concerned for her welfare paid her fare for her [/end of Warning]

People looked on.....let's stop looking on.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

"Not my concern and I couldn't care less however a lady walking home alone isn't asking for it at night but she's vulnerable.

If a lady goes out and walks home she should be with someone or inna taxi with the reg noted or you know what can happen worst case .

You couldn’t care less about what?

Also, it sounds a little like victim blaming.

Can you explain why a women should have to take extra steps to ensure her safety when as a man you feel no need to?

They don’t need to because they are safer than men

Men take extra steps to feel safer. I get a taxi or ask for a lift in rough areas. Women are free to do the same

I’m sorry but you’re talking absolute rubbish.

I do find it amusing how you talk about equality and parity in one thread but then argue the difference between genders in another.

I think that you just enjoy being contrary

The question was why men don’t need to take steps to be safer and women do

Men aren’t safe "

That wasn’t your statement though.

You stated that women are safer than men.

When 98% of women have been sexually harassed or assaulted, that’s a hard figure to claim men are worse off by

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP, I think the fact you want to help is very sweet and reminds me that most guys are decent and lovely. Thank you x

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"Not my concern and I couldn't care less however a lady walking home alone isn't asking for it at night but she's vulnerable.

If a lady goes out and walks home she should be with someone or inna taxi with the reg noted or you know what can happen worst case .

You couldn’t care less about what?

Also, it sounds a little like victim blaming.

Can you explain why a women should have to take extra steps to ensure her safety when as a man you feel no need to?

They don’t need to because they are safer than men

Men take extra steps to feel safer. I get a taxi or ask for a lift in rough areas. Women are free to do the same

I’m sorry but you’re talking absolute rubbish.

I do find it amusing how you talk about equality and parity in one thread but then argue the difference between genders in another.

I think that you just enjoy being contrary

The question was why men don’t need to take steps to be safer and women do

Men aren’t safe "

That wasn't actually the question. And it was directed at someone who had suggested women should take extra steps.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

wokingham

"Not my concern and I couldn't care less however a lady walking home alone isn't asking for it at night but she's vulnerable.

If a lady goes out and walks home she should be with someone or inna taxi with the reg noted or you know what can happen worst case .

You couldn’t care less about what?

Also, it sounds a little like victim blaming.

Can you explain why a women should have to take extra steps to ensure her safety when as a man you feel no need to?

They don’t need to because they are safer than men

Men take extra steps to feel safer. I get a taxi or ask for a lift in rough areas. Women are free to do the same

I’m sorry but you’re talking absolute rubbish.

I do find it amusing how you talk about equality and parity in one thread but then argue the difference between genders in another.

I think that you just enjoy being contrary

The question was why men don’t need to take steps to be safer and women do

Men aren’t safe

That wasn’t your statement though.

You stated that women are safer than men.

When 98% of women have been sexually harassed or assaulted, that’s a hard figure to claim men are worse off by"

Go read that survey. They surveyed just over 1000 women and hearing a sexual joke counted as sexual harassment. It’s a sham

No go look up the murder and violent crimes committed based on gender

Women are far safer than men on the streets

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Not my concern and I couldn't care less however a lady walking home alone isn't asking for it at night but she's vulnerable.

If a lady goes out and walks home she should be with someone or inna taxi with the reg noted or you know what can happen worst case .

You couldn’t care less about what?

Also, it sounds a little like victim blaming.

Can you explain why a women should have to take extra steps to ensure her safety when as a man you feel no need to?

They don’t need to because they are safer than men

Men take extra steps to feel safer. I get a taxi or ask for a lift in rough areas. Women are free to do the same

I’m sorry but you’re talking absolute rubbish.

I do find it amusing how you talk about equality and parity in one thread but then argue the difference between genders in another.

I think that you just enjoy being contrary

The question was why men don’t need to take steps to be safer and women do

Men aren’t safe

That wasn’t your statement though.

You stated that women are safer than men.

When 98% of women have been sexually harassed or assaulted, that’s a hard figure to claim men are worse off by"

A women is killed by a man every 3 days in the UK

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Not my concern and I couldn't care less however a lady walking home alone isn't asking for it at night but she's vulnerable.

If a lady goes out and walks home she should be with someone or inna taxi with the reg noted or you know what can happen worst case .

You couldn’t care less about what?

Also, it sounds a little like victim blaming.

Can you explain why a women should have to take extra steps to ensure her safety when as a man you feel no need to?

They don’t need to because they are safer than men

Men take extra steps to feel safer. I get a taxi or ask for a lift in rough areas. Women are free to do the same

I’m sorry but you’re talking absolute rubbish.

I do find it amusing how you talk about equality and parity in one thread but then argue the difference between genders in another.

I think that you just enjoy being contrary

The question was why men don’t need to take steps to be safer and women do

Men aren’t safe

That wasn’t your statement though.

You stated that women are safer than men.

When 98% of women have been sexually harassed or assaulted, that’s a hard figure to claim men are worse off by

Go read that survey. They surveyed just over 1000 women and hearing a sexual joke counted as sexual harassment. It’s a sham

No go look up the murder and violent crimes committed based on gender

Women are far safer than men on the streets"

But this thread is specifically about women.. Why not make one about mens safety

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"OP, I think the fact you want to help is very sweet and reminds me that most guys are decent and lovely. Thank you x"

Thank you x

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"Not my concern and I couldn't care less however a lady walking home alone isn't asking for it at night but she's vulnerable.

If a lady goes out and walks home she should be with someone or inna taxi with the reg noted or you know what can happen worst case .

You couldn’t care less about what?

Also, it sounds a little like victim blaming.

Can you explain why a women should have to take extra steps to ensure her safety when as a man you feel no need to?

They don’t need to because they are safer than men

Men take extra steps to feel safer. I get a taxi or ask for a lift in rough areas. Women are free to do the same

I’m sorry but you’re talking absolute rubbish.

I do find it amusing how you talk about equality and parity in one thread but then argue the difference between genders in another.

I think that you just enjoy being contrary

The question was why men don’t need to take steps to be safer and women do

Men aren’t safe

That wasn’t your statement though.

You stated that women are safer than men.

When 98% of women have been sexually harassed or assaulted, that’s a hard figure to claim men are worse off by

Go read that survey. They surveyed just over 1000 women and hearing a sexual joke counted as sexual harassment. It’s a sham

No go look up the murder and violent crimes committed based on gender

Women are far safer than men on the streets"

That last statement is bullshit.

Women are attacked every damn day on the streets. And more often than not don't report it, even now. I wonder why that could possibly be.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

wokingham

"Not my concern and I couldn't care less however a lady walking home alone isn't asking for it at night but she's vulnerable.

If a lady goes out and walks home she should be with someone or inna taxi with the reg noted or you know what can happen worst case .

You couldn’t care less about what?

Also, it sounds a little like victim blaming.

Can you explain why a women should have to take extra steps to ensure her safety when as a man you feel no need to?

They don’t need to because they are safer than men

Men take extra steps to feel safer. I get a taxi or ask for a lift in rough areas. Women are free to do the same

I’m sorry but you’re talking absolute rubbish.

I do find it amusing how you talk about equality and parity in one thread but then argue the difference between genders in another.

I think that you just enjoy being contrary

The question was why men don’t need to take steps to be safer and women do

Men aren’t safe

That wasn’t your statement though.

You stated that women are safer than men.

When 98% of women have been sexually harassed or assaulted, that’s a hard figure to claim men are worse off by

Go read that survey. They surveyed just over 1000 women and hearing a sexual joke counted as sexual harassment. It’s a sham

No go look up the murder and violent crimes committed based on gender

Women are far safer than men on the streets

But this thread is specifically about women.. Why not make one about mens safety "

I just saw a question asking why men don’t have to rage steps to feel safer when women fo

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Taxi’s are not always as safe as you think. I was locked in a taxi in my late teens and not allowed to exit until I had kissed the taxi driver.

This was before mobile phones.

I’m just glad I was sat in the back."

I had to kiss a taxi driver when I was 19..i was terrified.. He wanted sex. I was so young and inexperienced

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

wokingham

"Not my concern and I couldn't care less however a lady walking home alone isn't asking for it at night but she's vulnerable.

If a lady goes out and walks home she should be with someone or inna taxi with the reg noted or you know what can happen worst case .

You couldn’t care less about what?

Also, it sounds a little like victim blaming.

Can you explain why a women should have to take extra steps to ensure her safety when as a man you feel no need to?

They don’t need to because they are safer than men

Men take extra steps to feel safer. I get a taxi or ask for a lift in rough areas. Women are free to do the same

I’m sorry but you’re talking absolute rubbish.

I do find it amusing how you talk about equality and parity in one thread but then argue the difference between genders in another.

I think that you just enjoy being contrary

The question was why men don’t need to take steps to be safer and women do

Men aren’t safe

That wasn’t your statement though.

You stated that women are safer than men.

When 98% of women have been sexually harassed or assaulted, that’s a hard figure to claim men are worse off by

Go read that survey. They surveyed just over 1000 women and hearing a sexual joke counted as sexual harassment. It’s a sham

No go look up the murder and violent crimes committed based on gender

Women are far safer than men on the streets

That last statement is bullshit.

Women are attacked every damn day on the streets. And more often than not don't report it, even now. I wonder why that could possibly be."

I jus don’t believe you

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Not my concern and I couldn't care less however a lady walking home alone isn't asking for it at night but she's vulnerable.

If a lady goes out and walks home she should be with someone or inna taxi with the reg noted or you know what can happen worst case .

You couldn’t care less about what?

Also, it sounds a little like victim blaming.

Can you explain why a women should have to take extra steps to ensure her safety when as a man you feel no need to?

They don’t need to because they are safer than men

Men take extra steps to feel safer. I get a taxi or ask for a lift in rough areas. Women are free to do the same

I’m sorry but you’re talking absolute rubbish.

I do find it amusing how you talk about equality and parity in one thread but then argue the difference between genders in another.

I think that you just enjoy being contrary

The question was why men don’t need to take steps to be safer and women do

Men aren’t safe

That wasn’t your statement though.

You stated that women are safer than men.

When 98% of women have been sexually harassed or assaulted, that’s a hard figure to claim men are worse off by

A women is killed by a man every 3 days in the UK"

And more likely to be harmed by someone they know

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Not my concern and I couldn't care less however a lady walking home alone isn't asking for it at night but she's vulnerable.

If a lady goes out and walks home she should be with someone or inna taxi with the reg noted or you know what can happen worst case .

You couldn’t care less about what?

Also, it sounds a little like victim blaming.

Can you explain why a women should have to take extra steps to ensure her safety when as a man you feel no need to?

They don’t need to because they are safer than men

Men take extra steps to feel safer. I get a taxi or ask for a lift in rough areas. Women are free to do the same

I’m sorry but you’re talking absolute rubbish.

I do find it amusing how you talk about equality and parity in one thread but then argue the difference between genders in another.

I think that you just enjoy being contrary

The question was why men don’t need to take steps to be safer and women do

Men aren’t safe

That wasn’t your statement though.

You stated that women are safer than men.

When 98% of women have been sexually harassed or assaulted, that’s a hard figure to claim men are worse off by

Go read that survey. They surveyed just over 1000 women and hearing a sexual joke counted as sexual harassment. It’s a sham

No go look up the murder and violent crimes committed based on gender

Women are far safer than men on the streets

That last statement is bullshit.

Women are attacked every damn day on the streets. And more often than not don't report it, even now. I wonder why that could possibly be.

I jus don’t believe you "

Once again, you’re going to derail a thread, and make it hard to read through.

This is a massively important issue. You don’t agree, fine, that’s your prerogative, but why do you need to argue for men, when this is about women!

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've seen other threads on here asking if fathers with daughters have changed the way they speak to women or if it has given them a greater understanding of what women have to deal with?

As the father of 3 daughters I haven't changed a single thing.

I've always been aware of my behaviour and as well as treating everyone as an equal I've never done or said anything that could be perceived as threatening.

The eldest is almost 30 and in her opinion the only times she had ever felt unsafe or wary was in the company of other women.

Of course everyone should be aware of their actions but as can be seen in this thread when a man asks questions or tries to have a better understanding some people feel the need to tar and feather.

You can't say that education is the way forward if you dismiss those asking to be educated. "

Actually it is sons that parents should be talking to and educating, not daughters

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

wokingham

"Not my concern and I couldn't care less however a lady walking home alone isn't asking for it at night but she's vulnerable.

If a lady goes out and walks home she should be with someone or inna taxi with the reg noted or you know what can happen worst case .

You couldn’t care less about what?

Also, it sounds a little like victim blaming.

Can you explain why a women should have to take extra steps to ensure her safety when as a man you feel no need to?

They don’t need to because they are safer than men

Men take extra steps to feel safer. I get a taxi or ask for a lift in rough areas. Women are free to do the same

I’m sorry but you’re talking absolute rubbish.

I do find it amusing how you talk about equality and parity in one thread but then argue the difference between genders in another.

I think that you just enjoy being contrary

The question was why men don’t need to take steps to be safer and women do

Men aren’t safe

That wasn’t your statement though.

You stated that women are safer than men.

When 98% of women have been sexually harassed or assaulted, that’s a hard figure to claim men are worse off by

Go read that survey. They surveyed just over 1000 women and hearing a sexual joke counted as sexual harassment. It’s a sham

No go look up the murder and violent crimes committed based on gender

Women are far safer than men on the streets

That last statement is bullshit.

Women are attacked every damn day on the streets. And more often than not don't report it, even now. I wonder why that could possibly be.

I jus don’t believe you

Once again, you’re going to derail a thread, and make it hard to read through.

This is a massively important issue. You don’t agree, fine, that’s your prerogative, but why do you need to argue for men, when this is about women!"

Responding to this

“ Can you explain why a women should have to take extra steps to ensure her safety when as a man you feel no need to?”

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *ily WhiteWoman
over a year ago

"Not my concern and I couldn't care less however a lady walking home alone isn't asking for it at night but she's vulnerable.

If a lady goes out and walks home she should be with someone or inna taxi with the reg noted or you know what can happen worst case .

You couldn’t care less about what?

Also, it sounds a little like victim blaming.

Can you explain why a women should have to take extra steps to ensure her safety when as a man you feel no need to?

They don’t need to because they are safer than men

Men take extra steps to feel safer. I get a taxi or ask for a lift in rough areas. Women are free to do the same

I’m sorry but you’re talking absolute rubbish.

I do find it amusing how you talk about equality and parity in one thread but then argue the difference between genders in another.

I think that you just enjoy being contrary

The question was why men don’t need to take steps to be safer and women do

Men aren’t safe "

I actually agree, men are just as vulnerable as women.

Yes, in an ideal world, nobody would be vulnerable because there wouldn't be anyone out there that wanted to attack anyone else...but those people are out there, so to me the sensible thing is for everyone to be aware of their surroundings and to take steps to put themselves in the least vulnerable situation possible.

I'm far more wary of gangs of kids than I am of lone men...and this from someone who had a stalker when I was younger (creepy phone call telling me details about what I'd been doing, police involved, who were actually brilliant).

I know how to defend myself. Should I have to? No, not in an ideal world, but I do anyway. Why? Probably for the same reason that I put my seat belt on every time I get in the car...there's a chance that it will save me in the small probability of the worst case scenario happening.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *.R.MMan
over a year ago

Norfolk

When on a run I can see anyone ahead of me I cross the road as to not startle them (men or women) if it’s not possible to cross I try to make sure they can hear me coming by either a little cough or making feet hit the ground harder. A couple of times it’s not worked and I’ve apologised but there wasn’t much else I could do. A couple of times I’ve seen broken down cars one was a younger woman I didn’t approach her but I asked from a distance if she had someone coming to help her she did, this was in a reasonably busy place. If I’d have hung around this could have made her uncomfortable. It can be difficult to do the right thing as it can be perceived by others as unsettling.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

Of course when I'm passing them, I give them a wide berth, I'm not on top of them so close they can hear or feel my breath. That just common sense and common decency.

I generally walk fast so I'll probably pass them by quickly anyway.

I don't leer, beep or shout comments at women in the street. I just get on with whatever I'm getting on with.

The discussion was started by women and I have just brought it to a platform where vulnerability is often talked about.

Your intentions are absolutely innocent and you are aware already which is awesome.

But how common is common sense? "

It's very common

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"Not my concern and I couldn't care less however a lady walking home alone isn't asking for it at night but she's vulnerable.

If a lady goes out and walks home she should be with someone or inna taxi with the reg noted or you know what can happen worst case .

You couldn’t care less about what?

Also, it sounds a little like victim blaming.

Can you explain why a women should have to take extra steps to ensure her safety when as a man you feel no need to?

They don’t need to because they are safer than men

Men take extra steps to feel safer. I get a taxi or ask for a lift in rough areas. Women are free to do the same

I’m sorry but you’re talking absolute rubbish.

I do find it amusing how you talk about equality and parity in one thread but then argue the difference between genders in another.

I think that you just enjoy being contrary

The question was why men don’t need to take steps to be safer and women do

Men aren’t safe

That wasn’t your statement though.

You stated that women are safer than men.

When 98% of women have been sexually harassed or assaulted, that’s a hard figure to claim men are worse off by

Go read that survey. They surveyed just over 1000 women and hearing a sexual joke counted as sexual harassment. It’s a sham

No go look up the murder and violent crimes committed based on gender

Women are far safer than men on the streets

That last statement is bullshit.

Women are attacked every damn day on the streets. And more often than not don't report it, even now. I wonder why that could possibly be.

I jus don’t believe you "

Then you are part of the problem

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Not my concern and I couldn't care less however a lady walking home alone isn't asking for it at night but she's vulnerable.

If a lady goes out and walks home she should be with someone or inna taxi with the reg noted or you know what can happen worst case .

You couldn’t care less about what?

Also, it sounds a little like victim blaming.

Can you explain why a women should have to take extra steps to ensure her safety when as a man you feel no need to?

They don’t need to because they are safer than men

Men take extra steps to feel safer. I get a taxi or ask for a lift in rough areas. Women are free to do the same

I’m sorry but you’re talking absolute rubbish.

I do find it amusing how you talk about equality and parity in one thread but then argue the difference between genders in another.

I think that you just enjoy being contrary

The question was why men don’t need to take steps to be safer and women do

Men aren’t safe

That wasn’t your statement though.

You stated that women are safer than men.

When 98% of women have been sexually harassed or assaulted, that’s a hard figure to claim men are worse off by

Go read that survey. They surveyed just over 1000 women and hearing a sexual joke counted as sexual harassment. It’s a sham

No go look up the murder and violent crimes committed based on gender

Women are far safer than men on the streets

That last statement is bullshit.

Women are attacked every damn day on the streets. And more often than not don't report it, even now. I wonder why that could possibly be.

I jus don’t believe you

Once again, you’re going to derail a thread, and make it hard to read through.

This is a massively important issue. You don’t agree, fine, that’s your prerogative, but why do you need to argue for men, when this is about women!

Responding to this

“ Can you explain why a women should have to take extra steps to ensure her safety when as a man you feel no need to?”"

The comment that came from what steps women should take to ensure their safety rather than all of us should. Do me take down the registration of a taxi? Or make sure they don’t travel home alone?

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

wokingham

"Not my concern and I couldn't care less however a lady walking home alone isn't asking for it at night but she's vulnerable.

If a lady goes out and walks home she should be with someone or inna taxi with the reg noted or you know what can happen worst case .

You couldn’t care less about what?

Also, it sounds a little like victim blaming.

Can you explain why a women should have to take extra steps to ensure her safety when as a man you feel no need to?

They don’t need to because they are safer than men

Men take extra steps to feel safer. I get a taxi or ask for a lift in rough areas. Women are free to do the same

I’m sorry but you’re talking absolute rubbish.

I do find it amusing how you talk about equality and parity in one thread but then argue the difference between genders in another.

I think that you just enjoy being contrary

The question was why men don’t need to take steps to be safer and women do

Men aren’t safe

That wasn’t your statement though.

You stated that women are safer than men.

When 98% of women have been sexually harassed or assaulted, that’s a hard figure to claim men are worse off by

Go read that survey. They surveyed just over 1000 women and hearing a sexual joke counted as sexual harassment. It’s a sham

No go look up the murder and violent crimes committed based on gender

Women are far safer than men on the streets

That last statement is bullshit.

Women are attacked every damn day on the streets. And more often than not don't report it, even now. I wonder why that could possibly be.

I jus don’t believe you

Then you are part of the problem "

Aren’t the women not reporting these attacks and murders you talk about part of the problem.

If they reported it, the statistics would suppprt your idea that women are less safer than men on the streets

But that’s not what the numbers show. Men are far more likely to be the victim of random acts of violence and murder.

And while I’d like to believe you, I can’t when the statistics just don’t show that. I can’t believe something when there’s clear evidence showing the opposite.

If you don’t report it, your part of the problem, because your helping paint a fake narrative that people then use to base their views on. Your also allowing a potentially dangerous person stay free to strike again

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Not my concern and I couldn't care less however a lady walking home alone isn't asking for it at night but she's vulnerable.

If a lady goes out and walks home she should be with someone or inna taxi with the reg noted or you know what can happen worst case .

You couldn’t care less about what?

Also, it sounds a little like victim blaming.

Can you explain why a women should have to take extra steps to ensure her safety when as a man you feel no need to?

They don’t need to because they are safer than men

Men take extra steps to feel safer. I get a taxi or ask for a lift in rough areas. Women are free to do the same

I’m sorry but you’re talking absolute rubbish.

I do find it amusing how you talk about equality and parity in one thread but then argue the difference between genders in another.

I think that you just enjoy being contrary

The question was why men don’t need to take steps to be safer and women do

Men aren’t safe

That wasn’t your statement though.

You stated that women are safer than men.

When 98% of women have been sexually harassed or assaulted, that’s a hard figure to claim men are worse off by

Go read that survey. They surveyed just over 1000 women and hearing a sexual joke counted as sexual harassment. It’s a sham

No go look up the murder and violent crimes committed based on gender

Women are far safer than men on the streets

That last statement is bullshit.

Women are attacked every damn day on the streets. And more often than not don't report it, even now. I wonder why that could possibly be.

I jus don’t believe you

Then you are part of the problem "

Yes, he is. This is not the first thread about male violence against women he has derailed.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Not my concern and I couldn't care less however a lady walking home alone isn't asking for it at night but she's vulnerable.

If a lady goes out and walks home she should be with someone or inna taxi with the reg noted or you know what can happen worst case .

You couldn’t care less about what?

Also, it sounds a little like victim blaming.

Can you explain why a women should have to take extra steps to ensure her safety when as a man you feel no need to?

They don’t need to because they are safer than men

Men take extra steps to feel safer. I get a taxi or ask for a lift in rough areas. Women are free to do the same

I’m sorry but you’re talking absolute rubbish.

I do find it amusing how you talk about equality and parity in one thread but then argue the difference between genders in another.

I think that you just enjoy being contrary

The question was why men don’t need to take steps to be safer and women do

Men aren’t safe

That wasn’t your statement though.

You stated that women are safer than men.

When 98% of women have been sexually harassed or assaulted, that’s a hard figure to claim men are worse off by

Go read that survey. They surveyed just over 1000 women and hearing a sexual joke counted as sexual harassment. It’s a sham

No go look up the murder and violent crimes committed based on gender

Women are far safer than men on the streets

That last statement is bullshit.

Women are attacked every damn day on the streets. And more often than not don't report it, even now. I wonder why that could possibly be.

I jus don’t believe you

Then you are part of the problem

Aren’t the women not reporting these attacks and murders you talk about part of the problem.

If they reported it, the statistics would suppprt your idea that women are less safer than men on the streets

But that’s not what the numbers show. Men are far more likely to be the victim of random acts of violence and murder.

And while I’d like to believe you, I can’t when the statistics just don’t show that. I can’t believe something when there’s clear evidence showing the opposite.

Do you think maybe you could just stop this train of conversation now? Because that comment is actually really bloody triggering and upsetting. So please just stop.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

"Not my concern and I couldn't care less however a lady walking home alone isn't asking for it at night but she's vulnerable.

If a lady goes out and walks home she should be with someone or inna taxi with the reg noted or you know what can happen worst case .

You couldn’t care less about what?

Also, it sounds a little like victim blaming.

Can you explain why a women should have to take extra steps to ensure her safety when as a man you feel no need to?

They don’t need to because they are safer than men

Men take extra steps to feel safer. I get a taxi or ask for a lift in rough areas. Women are free to do the same

I’m sorry but you’re talking absolute rubbish.

I do find it amusing how you talk about equality and parity in one thread but then argue the difference between genders in another.

I think that you just enjoy being contrary

The question was why men don’t need to take steps to be safer and women do

Men aren’t safe

That wasn’t your statement though.

You stated that women are safer than men.

When 98% of women have been sexually harassed or assaulted, that’s a hard figure to claim men are worse off by

Go read that survey. They surveyed just over 1000 women and hearing a sexual joke counted as sexual harassment. It’s a sham

No go look up the murder and violent crimes committed based on gender

Women are far safer than men on the streets"

So you disagree about what constitutes sexual harassment? That’s part of the problem, it’s not about what you define as being worthy of being harassment, it’s about what *is* harassment.

You don’t get to decide a persons level of comfort or tell them what to experience.

This thread isn’t about men feeling unsafe, it’s not about guys being attacked, although that is vastly done by other guys, so it’s still men who are the issue here. This thread is about women being made to feel safer, not for you to grind your anti feminist stance axe and derailing tactics.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

"Not my concern and I couldn't care less however a lady walking home alone isn't asking for it at night but she's vulnerable.

If a lady goes out and walks home she should be with someone or inna taxi with the reg noted or you know what can happen worst case .

You couldn’t care less about what?

Also, it sounds a little like victim blaming.

Can you explain why a women should have to take extra steps to ensure her safety when as a man you feel no need to?

They don’t need to because they are safer than men

Men take extra steps to feel safer. I get a taxi or ask for a lift in rough areas. Women are free to do the same

I’m sorry but you’re talking absolute rubbish.

I do find it amusing how you talk about equality and parity in one thread but then argue the difference between genders in another.

I think that you just enjoy being contrary

The question was why men don’t need to take steps to be safer and women do

Men aren’t safe

That wasn’t your statement though.

You stated that women are safer than men.

When 98% of women have been sexually harassed or assaulted, that’s a hard figure to claim men are worse off by

Go read that survey. They surveyed just over 1000 women and hearing a sexual joke counted as sexual harassment. It’s a sham

No go look up the murder and violent crimes committed based on gender

Women are far safer than men on the streets

That last statement is bullshit.

Women are attacked every damn day on the streets. And more often than not don't report it, even now. I wonder why that could possibly be.

I jus don’t believe you

Then you are part of the problem

Aren’t the women not reporting these attacks and murders you talk about part of the problem.

If they reported it, the statistics would suppprt your idea that women are less safer than men on the streets

But that’s not what the numbers show. Men are far more likely to be the victim of random acts of violence and murder.

And while I’d like to believe you, I can’t when the statistics just don’t show that. I can’t believe something when there’s clear evidence showing the opposite.

So you’re victim shaming now?

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

wokingham

"Not my concern and I couldn't care less however a lady walking home alone isn't asking for it at night but she's vulnerable.

If a lady goes out and walks home she should be with someone or inna taxi with the reg noted or you know what can happen worst case .

You couldn’t care less about what?

Also, it sounds a little like victim blaming.

Can you explain why a women should have to take extra steps to ensure her safety when as a man you feel no need to?

They don’t need to because they are safer than men

Men take extra steps to feel safer. I get a taxi or ask for a lift in rough areas. Women are free to do the same

I’m sorry but you’re talking absolute rubbish.

I do find it amusing how you talk about equality and parity in one thread but then argue the difference between genders in another.

I think that you just enjoy being contrary

The question was why men don’t need to take steps to be safer and women do

Men aren’t safe

That wasn’t your statement though.

You stated that women are safer than men.

When 98% of women have been sexually harassed or assaulted, that’s a hard figure to claim men are worse off by

Go read that survey. They surveyed just over 1000 women and hearing a sexual joke counted as sexual harassment. It’s a sham

No go look up the murder and violent crimes committed based on gender

Women are far safer than men on the streets

So you disagree about what constitutes sexual harassment? That’s part of the problem, it’s not about what you define as being worthy of being harassment, it’s about what *is* harassment.

You don’t get to decide a persons level of comfort or tell them what to experience.

I do when it waters down the results of a survey which is then used to make points about the world we live in.

Do the same survey on 1000 men and you’ll find 100% have been sexually harassed because we’ve all heard a small dick joke.

How are we gonna deal with that? 100% of men have been sexually harassed in their life according to that survey, should we now use that statistic to push an agenda?

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"Not my concern and I couldn't care less however a lady walking home alone isn't asking for it at night but she's vulnerable.

If a lady goes out and walks home she should be with someone or inna taxi with the reg noted or you know what can happen worst case .

You couldn’t care less about what?

Also, it sounds a little like victim blaming.

Can you explain why a women should have to take extra steps to ensure her safety when as a man you feel no need to?

They don’t need to because they are safer than men

Men take extra steps to feel safer. I get a taxi or ask for a lift in rough areas. Women are free to do the same

I’m sorry but you’re talking absolute rubbish.

I do find it amusing how you talk about equality and parity in one thread but then argue the difference between genders in another.

I think that you just enjoy being contrary

The question was why men don’t need to take steps to be safer and women do

Men aren’t safe

That wasn’t your statement though.

You stated that women are safer than men.

When 98% of women have been sexually harassed or assaulted, that’s a hard figure to claim men are worse off by

Go read that survey. They surveyed just over 1000 women and hearing a sexual joke counted as sexual harassment. It’s a sham

No go look up the murder and violent crimes committed based on gender

Women are far safer than men on the streets

That last statement is bullshit.

Women are attacked every damn day on the streets. And more often than not don't report it, even now. I wonder why that could possibly be.

I jus don’t believe you

Then you are part of the problem

Aren’t the women not reporting these attacks and murders you talk about part of the problem.

If they reported it, the statistics would suppprt your idea that women are less safer than men on the streets

But that’s not what the numbers show. Men are far more likely to be the victim of random acts of violence and murder.

And while I’d like to believe you, I can’t when the statistics just don’t show that. I can’t believe something when there’s clear evidence showing the opposite.

Have you ever been attacked and been told "it's your fault"?

Have you ever been told "you shouldn't have been there"? And by the way, "there" was a bus stop on a brightly lit, relatively busy street.

Have you ever been told "you shouldn't have been wearing that"? When "that" was less revealing than your school uniform ffs.

Have you ever been kicked down the stairs at 5 months pregnant and been told "well, if you hadn't argued"?

Because if you had, and by the police or medical "professionals", then you wouldn't have the faith or balls or confidence to trust them and report shit either.

All you do when you argue against people's actual experiences.... and these are experiences that many have had.... is show your true colours.