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Pussy stunting

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I was talking to a friend of mine yesterday about a good friend of hers who slept with a woman who’s trans, She had the operation and her vagina looks absolutely just like one.

This woman passes (meaning, u have no real evident clue that she is trans) and she didn’t tell him for some time that she was trans and the guy wasn’t thinking anything of it apart that she was just like any other woman.

This is definitely not a condoning act as I always like to be honest about who I am (also it avoids problems) . Not with everyone as I can’t shake hands with people and explain myself . I don’t have to. But if I get involved sexually with people I like to tell my story so everyone’s cool about it. Especially now that I haven’t reassigned yet.. and will do even when I’ll have the best looking vag.

This is kinda called pussy stunting which means having an intimate encounter with someone without disclosing she is trans.

Having said that, how do you guys see this thing? Would you feel extremely deceived or could you potentially live with it if it was said very early on in the relationship?

Btw the guy still loved this woman and they stayed together for a bit till she moved back to her country , it only made a bit of sense afterwards when he realised she had problems with not being able to self lube . But apart from that, he had no clue prior being told

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

It's difficult isn't it because once fully transitioned you are anatomically a woman (not to say pre transitioned or those who choose never to transition aren't women, it's difficult to get across in words). As a woman I don't have to tell people that I have always been a woman.

For some it must be a terrible and constant reminder of a traumatic time during which they put their minds and bodies through an awful lot. To relive that each time the get close to someone means they can never move on.

For others I guess it's a story of celebration. Of becoming who they've always knew they were and they want to share that story.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Totally , I’d never want to hide my past because a past is reality. Maybe I don’t want to talk about it all the time obviously but sharing it with people I love means everything and also yes it was difficult yes it was painful. But I’ve been celebrated with love by all my friends and family

So I wouldn’t be able to erase that and pretend …

Having said that, with total strangers I don’t owe anything any explanation because it’s exhausting

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It's difficult isn't it because once fully transitioned you are anatomically a woman (not to say pre transitioned or those who choose never to transition aren't women, it's difficult to get across in words). As a woman I don't have to tell people that I have always been a woman.

For some it must be a terrible and constant reminder of a traumatic time during which they put their minds and bodies through an awful lot. To relive that each time the get close to someone means they can never move on.

For others I guess it's a story of celebration. Of becoming who they've always knew they were and they want to share that story.

"

That’s a very insightful view.

I would love to put my history behind me but I also appreciate some people can’t reconcile that history in their own minds and if I’m not open with them before it goes too far, they may well feel misled. I’m not here to mislead. I’m here for mutual pleasure.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If it's a hookup then nobody should have any expectations. If you're serious with someone then I guess it's something to "disclose", in the same way you'd tell them about other significant life events.

Generally trans women tell people for their own safety; you don't want to find out that your hookup is a violent, transphobic shit-weasel half-way through a meet. Not because they're owed it.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

Forgive my ignorance....but if you have a facsimile of a pussy...what do you get out of having penetrative sex ... can you orgasm...where is the pleasure for you ...

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Yeah that’s kinda what I thought I mean if it’s a night out and it happens and there’s no meeting again , who cares

But if things become serious, the sooner it is said the better to avoid problems or even being hurt because some people can’t handle the idea of it

Hmmmm, luckily those two were fine and the guy was super cool about it cos he really loved the girl x

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Forgive my ignorance....but if you have a facsimile of a pussy...what do you get out of having penetrative sex ... can you orgasm...where is the pleasure for you ... "

She’d be fully functional. It’s not just a hole in the skin…

What doctors can do nowadays aye!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think its more a mental hurdle then anything physical...I guess some men still see trans women as men mentally so thus being with one would make them gay

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend


"Forgive my ignorance....but if you have a facsimile of a pussy...what do you get out of having penetrative sex ... can you orgasm...where is the pleasure for you ...

She’d be fully functional. It’s not just a hole in the skin…

What doctors can do nowadays aye! "
ooo .. that's good

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I think its more a mental hurdle then anything physical...I guess some men still see trans women as men mentally so thus being with one would make them gay"

Which makes me think, if you see a woman complete, in everything. How can you still think of her as a man if there’s no ounce of resemblance .. just because she gave u the information of what she was born as??

We aren’t talking about transvestites who you can still tell they are men on a day to day basis.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *eavenscentitCouple
over a year ago

barnstaple

I guess you are asking men in the main but, as a bi woman. I would hope the person I was meeting felt comfortable enough to tell me whatever they wanted. I've nursed post-op trans people so, have seen fantastic surgery. I've also supported people where some complications have occurred (thankfully not as many). It wouldn't matter to me what gender someone was born, it would be more about the connection.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think its more a mental hurdle then anything physical...I guess some men still see trans women as men mentally so thus being with one would make them gay

Which makes me think, if you see a woman complete, in everything. How can you still think of her as a man if there’s no ounce of resemblance .. just because she gave u the information of what she was born as??

We aren’t talking about transvestites who you can still tell they are men on a day to day basis. "

Sorry my post was if you had told someone

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I guess you are asking men in the main but, as a bi woman. I would hope the person I was meeting felt comfortable enough to tell me whatever they wanted. I've nursed post-op trans people so, have seen fantastic surgery. I've also supported people where some complications have occurred (thankfully not as many). It wouldn't matter to me what gender someone was born, it would be more about the connection. "

I’m only asking more about men because I feel like us women can usually see further… or deeper

While I find men have a bit of a barrier in that regard

But omg, that’s amazing that u nursed some post op women!! Wow!!! X

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I think its more a mental hurdle then anything physical...I guess some men still see trans women as men mentally so thus being with one would make them gay

Which makes me think, if you see a woman complete, in everything. How can you still think of her as a man if there’s no ounce of resemblance .. just because she gave u the information of what she was born as??

We aren’t talking about transvestites who you can still tell they are men on a day to day basis.

Sorry my post was if you had told someone "

Yeah I gathered that but I meant, how can the notion shift so dramatically and think. Wow, u are a man and I see u as a man even tho in front of u there’s a total woman.

I’m trying to understand

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would feel deceived if they didn't tell me but also I understand their need for privacy.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

Either way it is 100% deceptive. There is no question about it.

Regardless of acceptance or bigotry or any other unfavourable view somebody may have towards trans, or those that have fully completed transition to a woman (or a man), if that person for whatever reason does not want any sexual activity with a trans person then it is extremely wrong to have that information withheld from them. Trans is still a bit of a grey and confusing area for a lot of people and when it comes to something as personal as sex (and with how important consent is) the less deception the better - this is sort of a topic in and of its own though.

With that said it is certainly not as simple as just being able to tell somebody about your past and experience. You want to leave that part of your life behind because it never really was who you are inside, but constant reminders etc like having to bring it up in situations.

Personally I'm not sure how I'd view the situation if it were me (on either side). I'd still view them as a woman and not as somebody who transitioned but it's a big thing to have withheld.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think its more a mental hurdle then anything physical...I guess some men still see trans women as men mentally so thus being with one would make them gay

Which makes me think, if you see a woman complete, in everything. How can you still think of her as a man if there’s no ounce of resemblance .. just because she gave u the information of what she was born as??

We aren’t talking about transvestites who you can still tell they are men on a day to day basis.

Sorry my post was if you had told someone

Yeah I gathered that but I meant, how can the notion shift so dramatically and think. Wow, u are a man and I see u as a man even tho in front of u there’s a total woman.

I’m trying to understand "

I dont know if it can be understood....all trans woman i have had knowing contact with have been on here and its says on profile thats what you are...again its a mental thing, I really like the pics of someone on here and she seems cool to chat with so if a mutual connection then no problem for me....but I cant answer for others x

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I mention I’m transitioned in my profile but you’ll see I don’t hit them with it straight away.

I’ve tried the ‘firstly I’m trans….’ approach and they don’t get as far as to read that I’m post op.

If we chat a bit first and then I ask if they read the bit about my having had surgery, they very rarely then have issue.

Being trans is part of my history. I’m not ashamed of it and, as you may know from my threads, I’m happy to talk about it.

Being trans does not define me though. I’m so much more than a series of operations.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Either way it is 100% deceptive. There is no question about it.

Regardless of acceptance or bigotry or any other unfavourable view somebody may have towards trans, or those that have fully completed transition to a woman (or a man), if that person for whatever reason does not want any sexual activity with a trans person then it is extremely wrong to have that information withheld from them. Trans is still a bit of a grey and confusing area for a lot of people and when it comes to something as personal as sex (and with how important consent is) the less deception the better - this is sort of a topic in and of its own though.

With that said it is certainly not as simple as just being able to tell somebody about your past and experience. You want to leave that part of your life behind because it never really was who you are inside, but constant reminders etc like having to bring it up in situations.

Personally I'm not sure how I'd view the situation if it were me (on either side). I'd still view them as a woman and not as somebody who transitioned but it's a big thing to have withheld. "

Totally respect that and I’ve been wondering also and that’s why I’m always trying my best to be honest but I see also why a lot might not want to disclose it even with people they sleep with or engage in a relationship with

Id feel too guilty especially if I really liked the guy, and knowing myself I’d struggle to then bring it up 3 months later and be heart broken cos he can’t accept it…

Thanks for your view btw

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I mention I’m transitioned in my profile but you’ll see I don’t hit them with it straight away.

I’ve tried the ‘firstly I’m trans….’ approach and they don’t get as far as to read that I’m post op.

If we chat a bit first and then I ask if they read the bit about my having had surgery, they very rarely then have issue.

Being trans is part of my history. I’m not ashamed of it and, as you may know from my threads, I’m happy to talk about it.

Being trans does not define me though. I’m so much more than a series of operations. "

But if after telling them then they stop chatting isn't that better because it shows they not for you?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I mention I’m transitioned in my profile but you’ll see I don’t hit them with it straight away.

I’ve tried the ‘firstly I’m trans….’ approach and they don’t get as far as to read that I’m post op.

If we chat a bit first and then I ask if they read the bit about my having had surgery, they very rarely then have issue.

Being trans is part of my history. I’m not ashamed of it and, as you may know from my threads, I’m happy to talk about it.

Being trans does not define me though. I’m so much more than a series of operations. "

Rach, totally I so 150% agree and I’m miles behind u xxx

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I would feel deceived if they didn't tell me but also I understand their need for privacy.

"

I’ve seen some hot as fuck man who are trans!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My last boyfriend. Ok, my only ever boyfriend; wanted me to stop going to pride marches and just be me, rather than trans me.

He really helped me move my mindset forward from transition to just living my life again.

Hi. I’m Rachael. Parent to two daughters and two step kids and I’m one of the best friends you could ever hope to have.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My last boyfriend. Ok, my only ever boyfriend; wanted me to stop going to pride marches and just be me, rather than trans me.

He really helped me move my mindset forward from transition to just living my life again.

Hi. I’m Rachael. Parent to two daughters and two step kids and I’m one of the best friends you could ever hope to have. "

Hi friend lol x

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I mention I’m transitioned in my profile but you’ll see I don’t hit them with it straight away.

I’ve tried the ‘firstly I’m trans….’ approach and they don’t get as far as to read that I’m post op.

If we chat a bit first and then I ask if they read the bit about my having had surgery, they very rarely then have issue.

Being trans is part of my history. I’m not ashamed of it and, as you may know from my threads, I’m happy to talk about it.

Being trans does not define me though. I’m so much more than a series of operations.

But if after telling them then they stop chatting isn't that better because it shows they not for you?"

Definitely, but many people, when told I’m trans too soon, stop listening and assume I have a penis.

If we’ve actually started to chat and like each other, and then they are brought to the realisation that I had surgery to become this vision of perfection ( ) , they usually stay interested enough to further the conversation.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I mention I’m transitioned in my profile but you’ll see I don’t hit them with it straight away.

I’ve tried the ‘firstly I’m trans….’ approach and they don’t get as far as to read that I’m post op.

If we chat a bit first and then I ask if they read the bit about my having had surgery, they very rarely then have issue.

Being trans is part of my history. I’m not ashamed of it and, as you may know from my threads, I’m happy to talk about it.

Being trans does not define me though. I’m so much more than a series of operations.

But if after telling them then they stop chatting isn't that better because it shows they not for you?

Definitely, but many people, when told I’m trans too soon, stop listening and assume I have a penis.

If we’ve actually started to chat and like each other, and then they are brought to the realisation that I had surgery to become this vision of perfection ( ) , they usually stay interested enough to further the conversation. "

Aren't we supposed to be more then a penis or pussy?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I mention I’m transitioned in my profile but you’ll see I don’t hit them with it straight away.

I’ve tried the ‘firstly I’m trans….’ approach and they don’t get as far as to read that I’m post op.

If we chat a bit first and then I ask if they read the bit about my having had surgery, they very rarely then have issue.

Being trans is part of my history. I’m not ashamed of it and, as you may know from my threads, I’m happy to talk about it.

Being trans does not define me though. I’m so much more than a series of operations.

But if after telling them then they stop chatting isn't that better because it shows they not for you?

Definitely, but many people, when told I’m trans too soon, stop listening and assume I have a penis.

If we’ve actually started to chat and like each other, and then they are brought to the realisation that I had surgery to become this vision of perfection ( ) , they usually stay interested enough to further the conversation.

Aren't we supposed to be more then a penis or pussy?"

Apparently, but not everyone sees it like that the minute you say you’re trans.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *adyBugsWoman
over a year ago

cognito

Personally I don’t think anyone needs to know your history unless it relates to medical needs that might be impacted by your transition (like prostate cancer & or ovarian cancer - please correct me if this wouldn’t impact a trans person I’m still learning) or if you are planning a future with someone where transparency about children/fertility may come up (all issues that can be overcome with patience, love and today’s science) otherwise there’s no reason at all to tell people unless you want them to know.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *adyBugsWoman
over a year ago

cognito

Oh and if they are not open minded enough to stay by your side when you do disclose it then they are jerks and not worthy of your time - I know that will hurt for a while if you get emotionally invested but you are worth far more than settling for someone who doesn’t deserve you

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Liverpool


"I mention I’m transitioned in my profile but you’ll see I don’t hit them with it straight away.

I’ve tried the ‘firstly I’m trans….’ approach and they don’t get as far as to read that I’m post op.

If we chat a bit first and then I ask if they read the bit about my having had surgery, they very rarely then have issue.

Being trans is part of my history. I’m not ashamed of it and, as you may know from my threads, I’m happy to talk about it.

Being trans does not define me though. I’m so much more than a series of operations.

But if after telling them then they stop chatting isn't that better because it shows they not for you?

Definitely, but many people, when told I’m trans too soon, stop listening and assume I have a penis.

If we’ve actually started to chat and like each other, and then they are brought to the realisation that I had surgery to become this vision of perfection ( ) , they usually stay interested enough to further the conversation.

Aren't we supposed to be more then a penis or pussy?

Apparently, but not everyone sees it like that the minute you say you’re trans. "

It is all still a learning curve. The acceptance of trans and LGBTQ+ is still a bit of a new frontier. Just as there are those transitioning and becoming themselves, the rest of the world needs to be allowed to make this transition too. Some will be able to do it faster and more peacefully than others. Some will never be able to unfortunately.

Huge change is never smooth. It needs both sides to accept the way the other sides goes about it (within reason of course! Abuse and violence should never be accepted - both sides!)

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I mention I’m transitioned in my profile but you’ll see I don’t hit them with it straight away.

I’ve tried the ‘firstly I’m trans….’ approach and they don’t get as far as to read that I’m post op.

If we chat a bit first and then I ask if they read the bit about my having had surgery, they very rarely then have issue.

Being trans is part of my history. I’m not ashamed of it and, as you may know from my threads, I’m happy to talk about it.

Being trans does not define me though. I’m so much more than a series of operations.

But if after telling them then they stop chatting isn't that better because it shows they not for you?

Definitely, but many people, when told I’m trans too soon, stop listening and assume I have a penis.

If we’ve actually started to chat and like each other, and then they are brought to the realisation that I had surgery to become this vision of perfection ( ) , they usually stay interested enough to further the conversation.

Aren't we supposed to be more then a penis or pussy?

Apparently, but not everyone sees it like that the minute you say you’re trans.

It is all still a learning curve. The acceptance of trans and LGBTQ+ is still a bit of a new frontier. Just as there are those transitioning and becoming themselves, the rest of the world needs to be allowed to make this transition too. Some will be able to do it faster and more peacefully than others. Some will never be able to unfortunately.

Huge change is never smooth. It needs both sides to accept the way the other sides goes about it (within reason of course! Abuse and violence should never be accepted - both sides!) "

Absolutely.

One point I bang on about on a trans group on a well known social media site, is that transition is multi faceted.

Ignoring everything the trans person themselves goes through, everyone around them has a transition too. They get their heads around this person changing before their eyes.

Perhaps mourn the loss of the person they thought they knew.

Lots of little clues from the past suddenly make sense, or perhaps they don’t.

We’re taught from the moment people first speak to us as babies what is expected of us as female or male. That varies between families but there are many similarities.

Suddenly we’re faced with people who don’t necessarily conform to the gender indicators we have always recognised unconsciously and are asked to adjust our thinking.

Some people simply won’t.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Liverpool


"Personally I don’t think anyone needs to know your history unless it relates to medical needs that might be impacted by your transition (like prostate cancer & or ovarian cancer - please correct me if this wouldn’t impact a trans person I’m still learning) or if you are planning a future with someone where transparency about children/fertility may come up (all issues that can be overcome with patience, love and today’s science) otherwise there’s no reason at all to tell people unless you want them to know. "

Consent especially when it comes to sex is a big deal though, but the grey area is that where is the line of deception?

It COULD by some be viewed as they were tricked in to having sex with another man. Even a fully transitioned post op woman could be viewed this way unfortunately.

Regardless of view of man, woman, still trans, deception surrounding sex is wrong.

On the other side of that, lieing about being married or being in a relationship. That is still deception, that is used to engage in sex but gets brushed off as "you should have checked" or something along those lines.

I'm not saying every little detail needs to be presented so there is a 100% fully informed consensual decision, but that is exactly where the dilemma and discussion comes from. What things should or should not be considered important when asking for somebody to consider giving their consent.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Personally I don’t think anyone needs to know your history unless it relates to medical needs that might be impacted by your transition (like prostate cancer & or ovarian cancer - please correct me if this wouldn’t impact a trans person I’m still learning) or if you are planning a future with someone where transparency about children/fertility may come up (all issues that can be overcome with patience, love and today’s science) otherwise there’s no reason at all to tell people unless you want them to know.

Consent especially when it comes to sex is a big deal though, but the grey area is that where is the line of deception?

It COULD by some be viewed as they were tricked in to having sex with another man. Even a fully transitioned post op woman could be viewed this way unfortunately.

Regardless of view of man, woman, still trans, deception surrounding sex is wrong.

On the other side of that, lieing about being married or being in a relationship. That is still deception, that is used to engage in sex but gets brushed off as "you should have checked" or something along those lines.

I'm not saying every little detail needs to be presented so there is a 100% fully informed consensual decision, but that is exactly where the dilemma and discussion comes from. What things should or should not be considered important when asking for somebody to consider giving their consent. "

If a potential lover sees me as a man, he won’t be someone I would want to even talk to.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Liverpool


" It is all still a learning curve. The acceptance of trans and LGBTQ+ is still a bit of a new frontier. Just as there are those transitioning and becoming themselves, the rest of the world needs to be allowed to make this transition too. Some will be able to do it faster and more peacefully than others. Some will never be able to unfortunately.

Huge change is never smooth. It needs both sides to accept the way the other sides goes about it (within reason of course! Abuse and violence should never be accepted - both sides!)

Absolutely.

One point I bang on about on a trans group on a well known social media site, is that transition is multi faceted.

Ignoring everything the trans person themselves goes through, everyone around them has a transition too. They get their heads around this person changing before their eyes.

Perhaps mourn the loss of the person they thought they knew.

Lots of little clues from the past suddenly make sense, or perhaps they don’t.

We’re taught from the moment people first speak to us as babies what is expected of us as female or male. That varies between families but there are many similarities.

Suddenly we’re faced with people who don’t necessarily conform to the gender indicators we have always recognised unconsciously and are asked to adjust our thinking.

Some people simply won’t. "

Indeed.

I have witnessed some very aggressive and abusive behaviour towards somebody who none intentionally used the incorrect wording and pronouns towards somebody. No ofense was intended, it was just a natural/habitual slip up all part of the learning curve.

I will call you whatever you want to be called and accept you for what or whomever you are, but you must also accept I might slip up, I might forget, I might wrongfully assume along the way to it becoming the normal. Please accept that I'm on my own journey along side yours.

I will add that I'm not comparing the journy of accepting trans with the struggles and difficulties of actually living it as a life. Just that both happen alongside the other.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *urulovesnylonMan
over a year ago

Harrow

It’sa tough one, it’s best to be open with it from the start. Personally it wouldn’t bother me as I’m more of a the connecting with someone even if it’s nsa

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" It is all still a learning curve. The acceptance of trans and LGBTQ+ is still a bit of a new frontier. Just as there are those transitioning and becoming themselves, the rest of the world needs to be allowed to make this transition too. Some will be able to do it faster and more peacefully than others. Some will never be able to unfortunately.

Huge change is never smooth. It needs both sides to accept the way the other sides goes about it (within reason of course! Abuse and violence should never be accepted - both sides!)

Absolutely.

One point I bang on about on a trans group on a well known social media site, is that transition is multi faceted.

Ignoring everything the trans person themselves goes through, everyone around them has a transition too. They get their heads around this person changing before their eyes.

Perhaps mourn the loss of the person they thought they knew.

Lots of little clues from the past suddenly make sense, or perhaps they don’t.

We’re taught from the moment people first speak to us as babies what is expected of us as female or male. That varies between families but there are many similarities.

Suddenly we’re faced with people who don’t necessarily conform to the gender indicators we have always recognised unconsciously and are asked to adjust our thinking.

Some people simply won’t.

Indeed.

I have witnessed some very aggressive and abusive behaviour towards somebody who none intentionally used the incorrect wording and pronouns towards somebody. No ofense was intended, it was just a natural/habitual slip up all part of the learning curve.

I will call you whatever you want to be called and accept you for what or whomever you are, but you must also accept I might slip up, I might forget, I might wrongfully assume along the way to it becoming the normal. Please accept that I'm on my own journey along side yours.

I will add that I'm not comparing the journy of accepting trans with the struggles and difficulties of actually living it as a life. Just that both happen alongside the other. "

I despair when I see a few trans people who jump on every slip or seemingly deliberately set other people up to fail.

If someone slipped up early on and corrected themselves I was fine with that. A few insisted on misgendering me or worse; using my old name.

I wouldn’t call someone by their maiden name on purpose and if I see your lovely dog and ask her name, for you to say he’s called Bruno, I’ll apologise straight away to you and the dog.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Anyone who’s messaged me who I’ve shown an interest in will confirm I’ve not hidden my past from them

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By *00STERMan
over a year ago

nearby

Personally I would feel utterly deceived and lied to. From my point of view just because someone has had an operation and believes them self a woman does not mean I see it that way. I’m quite happy for them to believe that of themselves but don’t expect me to believe the same thing.

In the end of the day the only fair way is to have all the cards on the table and let the other person make the informed choice.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So, as a thought: should we expect trans people to disclose that they are trans, or should we expect people that care to ask?

This is what we expect with other things that people are picky about.

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By *elshkinkyMan
over a year ago

south wales

I’m not sure there’s a need to disclose if fully transitioned…but if it’s a longer term relationship then I’m sure most would if you haven’t fully transitioned you may not need to say anything at all and it will be a surprise for him

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I’m not sure there’s a need to disclose if fully transitioned…but if it’s a longer term relationship then I’m sure most would if you haven’t fully transitioned you may not need to say anything at all and it will be a surprise for him "

We consider ourselves to be very open-minded but on a swinging site we'd still expect people to disclose an unexpected willy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So, as a thought: should we expect trans people to disclose that they are trans, or should we expect people that care to ask?

This is what we expect with other things that people are picky about."

This is an excellent way of seeing it and, I’ll admit, not a take on it that I’d considered before.

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By *traight_no_iceMan
over a year ago

Stoke

I would like to know beforehand, irrespective of whether it is a hook up or has a potential to lead to something more. Even if you are the sexiest woman alive, I would like to know beforehand. To some people what you prefer not to disclose beforehand is a very important detail that would imfluence their decision.

In the same respect some people would like to know beforehand whether a hook up or someone with potential is married. Because to some people if the person is married but separated, is immaterial. Even if this person feels totally separated and lives a very independent life, to some people this does not matter.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Personally I would feel utterly deceived and lied to. From my point of view just because someone has had an operation and believes them self a woman does not mean I see it that way. I’m quite happy for them to believe that of themselves but don’t expect me to believe the same thing.

In the end of the day the only fair way is to have all the cards on the table and let the other person make the informed choice. "

I feel you should tell every woman you show an interest in that you feel this way so she can make an informed choice as to if she wants to get to know you any further, be she cis or trans.

Personally, if I knew someone I was considering getting intimate with was a racist, for example, I wouldn’t want to know them.

I think it only fair the cards are in the table.

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By *agan_PairCouple
over a year ago

portchester

[Removed by poster at 01/10/21 11:43:24]

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Personally I don’t think anyone needs to know your history unless it relates to medical needs that might be impacted by your transition (like prostate cancer & or ovarian cancer - please correct me if this wouldn’t impact a trans person I’m still learning) or if you are planning a future with someone where transparency about children/fertility may come up (all issues that can be overcome with patience, love and today’s science) otherwise there’s no reason at all to tell people unless you want them to know.

Consent especially when it comes to sex is a big deal though, but the grey area is that where is the line of deception?

It COULD by some be viewed as they were tricked in to having sex with another man. Even a fully transitioned post op woman could be viewed this way unfortunately.

Regardless of view of man, woman, still trans, deception surrounding sex is wrong.

On the other side of that, lieing about being married or being in a relationship. That is still deception, that is used to engage in sex but gets brushed off as "you should have checked" or something along those lines.

I'm not saying every little detail needs to be presented so there is a 100% fully informed consensual decision, but that is exactly where the dilemma and discussion comes from. What things should or should not be considered important when asking for somebody to consider giving their consent.

If a potential lover sees me as a man, he won’t be someone I would want to even talk to. "

Totally 100% agree with this !!!

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT


"Forgive my ignorance....but if you have a facsimile of a pussy...what do you get out of having penetrative sex ... can you orgasm...where is the pleasure for you ... "

You can orgasm

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By *00STERMan
over a year ago

nearby


"Personally I would feel utterly deceived and lied to. From my point of view just because someone has had an operation and believes them self a woman does not mean I see it that way. I’m quite happy for them to believe that of themselves but don’t expect me to believe the same thing.

In the end of the day the only fair way is to have all the cards on the table and let the other person make the informed choice.

I feel you should tell every woman you show an interest in that you feel this way so she can make an informed choice as to if she wants to get to know you any further, be she cis or trans.

Personally, if I knew someone I was considering getting intimate with was a racist, for example, I wouldn’t want to know them.

I think it only fair the cards are in the table. "

And therein lays my point, it’s a facet about a person that you don’t like and would not want to become intimate with them. Everyone has their own personal views on many subjects and not having all the facts to hand may lead some of these people to feel deceived or lied to.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Personally I would feel utterly deceived and lied to. From my point of view just because someone has had an operation and believes them self a woman does not mean I see it that way. I’m quite happy for them to believe that of themselves but don’t expect me to believe the same thing.

In the end of the day the only fair way is to have all the cards on the table and let the other person make the informed choice. "

Jesus it’s not believe it’s just how it is. If you get “deceived” to the point you didn’t realise , how can you say don’t expect me to believe ur not a woman. U would only come to the realisation once the info is presented to you…. But until that point u would have seen a woman. Which is the reality of aligning the in with the out

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

It's all about choice never heard pussy stunting before sounds like chasing a cat

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I’m not sure there’s a need to disclose if fully transitioned…but if it’s a longer term relationship then I’m sure most would if you haven’t fully transitioned you may not need to say anything at all and it will be a surprise for him

We consider ourselves to be very open-minded but on a swinging site we'd still expect people to disclose an unexpected willy "

Talking about post op women, who have a vagina and are fully aligned with their inside and outside

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Anyone who’s messaged me who I’ve shown an interest in will confirm I’ve not hidden my past from them "

oh AND shown an interest.....lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Personally I would feel utterly deceived and lied to. From my point of view just because someone has had an operation and believes them self a woman does not mean I see it that way. I’m quite happy for them to believe that of themselves but don’t expect me to believe the same thing.

In the end of the day the only fair way is to have all the cards on the table and let the other person make the informed choice.

I feel you should tell every woman you show an interest in that you feel this way so she can make an informed choice as to if she wants to get to know you any further, be she cis or trans.

Personally, if I knew someone I was considering getting intimate with was a racist, for example, I wouldn’t want to know them.

I think it only fair the cards are in the table. "

Why are you always so fucking smart? X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Personally I would feel utterly deceived and lied to. From my point of view just because someone has had an operation and believes them self a woman does not mean I see it that way. I’m quite happy for them to believe that of themselves but don’t expect me to believe the same thing.

In the end of the day the only fair way is to have all the cards on the table and let the other person make the informed choice.

I feel you should tell every woman you show an interest in that you feel this way so she can make an informed choice as to if she wants to get to know you any further, be she cis or trans.

Personally, if I knew someone I was considering getting intimate with was a racist, for example, I wouldn’t want to know them.

I think it only fair the cards are in the table.

And therein lays my point, it’s a facet about a person that you don’t like and would not want to become intimate with them. Everyone has their own personal views on many subjects and not having all the facts to hand may lead some of these people to feel deceived or lied to."

So, like I say, as someone with strong views on trans identity, I think you should make that clear to everyone you meet so they can avoid you if they find your ‘views’ offensive.

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT


"I’m not sure there’s a need to disclose if fully transitioned…but if it’s a longer term relationship then I’m sure most would if you haven’t fully transitioned you may not need to say anything at all and it will be a surprise for him

We consider ourselves to be very open-minded but on a swinging site we'd still expect people to disclose an unexpected willy "

I'm sure they would tell you

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Personally I would feel utterly deceived and lied to. From my point of view just because someone has had an operation and believes them self a woman does not mean I see it that way. I’m quite happy for them to believe that of themselves but don’t expect me to believe the same thing.

In the end of the day the only fair way is to have all the cards on the table and let the other person make the informed choice.

I feel you should tell every woman you show an interest in that you feel this way so she can make an informed choice as to if she wants to get to know you any further, be she cis or trans.

Personally, if I knew someone I was considering getting intimate with was a racist, for example, I wouldn’t want to know them.

I think it only fair the cards are in the table.

And therein lays my point, it’s a facet about a person that you don’t like and would not want to become intimate with them. Everyone has their own personal views on many subjects and not having all the facts to hand may lead some of these people to feel deceived or lied to."

But don’t we all lie or deceive eventually at some point? When people cheat, or they show their true colours after years of a relationship and they turn out to be totes racist and concealed it at first…men who have a visoctomy because they don’t want kids and don’t disclose it to women that might want to get kids… I mean, it could be about anything

Not condoning but you know, it’s life.. it happens

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Did anyone see the whole super straight sexuality movement on tik Tok?

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Liverpool


"So, as a thought: should we expect trans people to disclose that they are trans, or should we expect people that care to ask?

This is what we expect with other things that people are picky about."

True. But some people (even those that are trans) may get offended that you asked. So is it then not better for the person disclosing the information to share and choose when to bring up?

Which then leaves us back where we started going around in circles. ?

Again, great big unexplored new frontier grey area that there won't ever be a correct answer for because there isn't one. Largely because there are people (on every side of everything) that are unable to discuss and tolerate.

Note: I am a massive devil's advocate. I encourage and try to provoke discussion, and a view of things from outside of any single perspective.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"It's all about choice never heard pussy stunting before sounds like chasing a cat

"

I HOWLED at this!!!!

It’s been created by women on YouTube who did the “he didn’t know I was trans” type story times x

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT


"It's all about choice never heard pussy stunting before sounds like chasing a cat

I HOWLED at this!!!!

It’s been created by women on YouTube who did the “he didn’t know I was trans” type story times x "

Ahhh xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Personally I would feel utterly deceived and lied to. From my point of view just because someone has had an operation and believes them self a woman does not mean I see it that way. I’m quite happy for them to believe that of themselves but don’t expect me to believe the same thing.

In the end of the day the only fair way is to have all the cards on the table and let the other person make the informed choice.

I feel you should tell every woman you show an interest in that you feel this way so she can make an informed choice as to if she wants to get to know you any further, be she cis or trans.

Personally, if I knew someone I was considering getting intimate with was a racist, for example, I wouldn’t want to know them.

I think it only fair the cards are in the table.

Why are you always so fucking smart? X "

Well Kylie, I’m glad you asked.

I liken it to anyone with a life changing or life limiting disease. You tend to become an expert on your condition or, in our case, simply being trans.

I’ve asked myself ‘why am I like this?’ So many times and, as someone with a modicum of intelligence, I’ve researched and continued to learn, about what makes me trans. I wanted to know what made me so sure I was female when my chromosomes showed me as otherwise.

If you specialise in a subject, you tend to become pretty ‘fucking smart’ on it. particularly when you have first hand experience spread over more than 50 years.

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By *00STERMan
over a year ago

nearby


"

Jesus it’s not believe it’s just how it is. If you get “deceived” to the point you didn’t realise , how can you say don’t expect me to believe ur not a woman. U would only come to the realisation once the info is presented to you…. But until that point u would have seen a woman. Which is the reality of aligning the in with the out "

To me it’s not just a case of “that’s just how it is” my feeling and opinions on the subject are also not coming from a place of complete ignorance. Growing up my father went a long way along the road to transitioning, during that process he also spent time with a psychiatrist, this in the end was the solution not transitioning. This may not be the solution to all, but obviously it is for some. It is an important variable in the decision to get intimate for some. For some it will not be a problem and for others it will, but to remove that choice from someone would not be fair.

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By *inky Biscuit DunkerMan
over a year ago

Gloucestershire

It's tricky to give an honest answer as I've never been in that situation before. I don't think I'd feel deceived as such because they are living full time as a woman, more hurt that they didn't feel comfortable enough telling me about their past.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Personally I would feel utterly deceived and lied to. From my point of view just because someone has had an operation and believes them self a woman does not mean I see it that way. I’m quite happy for them to believe that of themselves but don’t expect me to believe the same thing.

In the end of the day the only fair way is to have all the cards on the table and let the other person make the informed choice.

I feel you should tell every woman you show an interest in that you feel this way so she can make an informed choice as to if she wants to get to know you any further, be she cis or trans.

Personally, if I knew someone I was considering getting intimate with was a racist, for example, I wouldn’t want to know them.

I think it only fair the cards are in the table.

Why are you always so fucking smart? X

Well Kylie, I’m glad you asked.

I liken it to anyone with a life changing or life limiting disease. You tend to become an expert on your condition or, in our case, simply being trans.

I’ve asked myself ‘why am I like this?’ So many times and, as someone with a modicum of intelligence, I’ve researched and continued to learn, about what makes me trans. I wanted to know what made me so sure I was female when my chromosomes showed me as otherwise.

If you specialise in a subject, you tend to become pretty ‘fucking smart’ on it. particularly when you have first hand experience spread over more than 50 years. "

Totally I think I’ve learnt so much for myself and from girls like us and researching and doctors and professors. It’s actually amazing

But I mean generally, u are just a smart woman xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"

Jesus it’s not believe it’s just how it is. If you get “deceived” to the point you didn’t realise , how can you say don’t expect me to believe ur not a woman. U would only come to the realisation once the info is presented to you…. But until that point u would have seen a woman. Which is the reality of aligning the in with the out

To me it’s not just a case of “that’s just how it is” my feeling and opinions on the subject are also not coming from a place of complete ignorance. Growing up my father went a long way along the road to transitioning, during that process he also spent time with a psychiatrist, this in the end was the solution not transitioning. This may not be the solution to all, but obviously it is for some. It is an important variable in the decision to get intimate for some. For some it will not be a problem and for others it will, but to remove that choice from someone would not be fair. "

Absolutely and that’s why I like to be transparent to avoid complications , having said that imagine if you had to fully disclose parts of you. For example the fact that u might be (I’m not saying you are) closed minded and don’t understand trans people. Or that you don’t want to support someone who has a medical condition

I see it’s something that needs to be discussed for sure, having said that, it’s not something I have to justify to every single person UNLESS I get romantic with them.

I’ve snogged guys out at clubs and I didn’t say anything. Did they ask me if I was trans ? No, did I say I was ? No.

Do I feel guilty for a cheeky snog? No I don’t, never saw them again. So who’s right , who’s wrong?

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Liverpool


"Personally I would feel utterly deceived and lied to. From my point of view just because someone has had an operation and believes them self a woman does not mean I see it that way. I’m quite happy for them to believe that of themselves but don’t expect me to believe the same thing.

In the end of the day the only fair way is to have all the cards on the table and let the other person make the informed choice.

I feel you should tell every woman you show an interest in that you feel this way so she can make an informed choice as to if she wants to get to know you any further, be she cis or trans.

Personally, if I knew someone I was considering getting intimate with was a racist, for example, I wouldn’t want to know them.

I think it only fair the cards are in the table.

And therein lays my point, it’s a facet about a person that you don’t like and would not want to become intimate with them. Everyone has their own personal views on many subjects and not having all the facts to hand may lead some of these people to feel deceived or lied to.

But don’t we all lie or deceive eventually at some point? When people cheat, or they show their true colours after years of a relationship and they turn out to be totes racist and concealed it at first…men who have a visoctomy because they don’t want kids and don’t disclose it to women that might want to get kids… I mean, it could be about anything

Not condoning but you know, it’s life.. it happens "

It is indeed. But where does the line get drawn?

Using your examples there, surely the elephant in the room is children.

Obviously we are talking long term on this one, if the guy you are with wants children, then surely he needs to be told about being trans. That in itself will cause issues regardless of anything else.

This may have gone slightly off topic from feeling deceived about sex to should somebody be told early.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"True. But some people (even those that are trans) may get offended that you asked. So is it then not better for the person disclosing the information to share and choose when to bring up?

Which then leaves us back where we started going around in circles. ?"

I think to see my point you need to consider the disclosure being "a prejudice against trans people" rather than "being a trans person". I don't mean that in an offensive way - prejudice is just the correct word to use here. Especially with regards to a hookup (yes, relationships can be different) - functionally, there's no difference that's bigger than any other variation between people of the same gender, when it comes to fucking.

It may well be uncomfortable navigating having to disclose that! But I think the onus is on the right person to be making the disclosure.

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By *jorkishMan
over a year ago

Seaforth


"

Jesus it’s not believe it’s just how it is. If you get “deceived” to the point you didn’t realise , how can you say don’t expect me to believe ur not a woman. U would only come to the realisation once the info is presented to you…. But until that point u would have seen a woman. Which is the reality of aligning the in with the out

To me it’s not just a case of “that’s just how it is” my feeling and opinions on the subject are also not coming from a place of complete ignorance. Growing up my father went a long way along the road to transitioning, during that process he also spent time with a psychiatrist, this in the end was the solution not transitioning. This may not be the solution to all, but obviously it is for some. It is an important variable in the decision to get intimate for some. For some it will not be a problem and for others it will, but to remove that choice from someone would not be fair.

Absolutely and that’s why I like to be transparent to avoid complications , having said that imagine if you had to fully disclose parts of you. For example the fact that u might be (I’m not saying you are) closed minded and don’t understand trans people. Or that you don’t want to support someone who has a medical condition

I see it’s something that needs to be discussed for sure, having said that, it’s not something I have to justify to every single person UNLESS I get romantic with them.

I’ve snogged guys out at clubs and I didn’t say anything. Did they ask me if I was trans ? No, did I say I was ? No.

Do I feel guilty for a cheeky snog? No I don’t, never saw them again. So who’s right , who’s wrong? "

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Personally I would feel utterly deceived and lied to. From my point of view just because someone has had an operation and believes them self a woman does not mean I see it that way. I’m quite happy for them to believe that of themselves but don’t expect me to believe the same thing.

In the end of the day the only fair way is to have all the cards on the table and let the other person make the informed choice.

I feel you should tell every woman you show an interest in that you feel this way so she can make an informed choice as to if she wants to get to know you any further, be she cis or trans.

Personally, if I knew someone I was considering getting intimate with was a racist, for example, I wouldn’t want to know them.

I think it only fair the cards are in the table.

And therein lays my point, it’s a facet about a person that you don’t like and would not want to become intimate with them. Everyone has their own personal views on many subjects and not having all the facts to hand may lead some of these people to feel deceived or lied to.

But don’t we all lie or deceive eventually at some point? When people cheat, or they show their true colours after years of a relationship and they turn out to be totes racist and concealed it at first…men who have a visoctomy because they don’t want kids and don’t disclose it to women that might want to get kids… I mean, it could be about anything

Not condoning but you know, it’s life.. it happens

It is indeed. But where does the line get drawn?

Using your examples there, surely the elephant in the room is children.

Obviously we are talking long term on this one, if the guy you are with wants children, then surely he needs to be told about being trans. That in itself will cause issues regardless of anything else.

This may have gone slightly off topic from feeling deceived about sex to should somebody be told early. "

I assume it depends how transparent we are generally as people

I’m certainly conflicted when it comes to people that might generally scrape the surface like hook ups

I see both points

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By *00STERMan
over a year ago

nearby


"

Jesus it’s not believe it’s just how it is. If you get “deceived” to the point you didn’t realise , how can you say don’t expect me to believe ur not a woman. U would only come to the realisation once the info is presented to you…. But until that point u would have seen a woman. Which is the reality of aligning the in with the out

To me it’s not just a case of “that’s just how it is” my feeling and opinions on the subject are also not coming from a place of complete ignorance. Growing up my father went a long way along the road to transitioning, during that process he also spent time with a psychiatrist, this in the end was the solution not transitioning. This may not be the solution to all, but obviously it is for some. It is an important variable in the decision to get intimate for some. For some it will not be a problem and for others it will, but to remove that choice from someone would not be fair.

Absolutely and that’s why I like to be transparent to avoid complications , having said that imagine if you had to fully disclose parts of you. For example the fact that u might be (I’m not saying you are) closed minded and don’t understand trans people. Or that you don’t want to support someone who has a medical condition

I see it’s something that needs to be discussed for sure, having said that, it’s not something I have to justify to every single person UNLESS I get romantic with them.

I’ve snogged guys out at clubs and I didn’t say anything. Did they ask me if I was trans ? No, did I say I was ? No.

Do I feel guilty for a cheeky snog? No I don’t, never saw them again. So who’s right , who’s wrong? "

So there are things I always disclose before getting intimate as they can have a bearing on the situation, I make sure the fact I get cold sores is out there. It’s very rare that I do and obviously when I get an attack I’m not getting out there and putting it about, but I think it’s only fair that someone I’m going to kiss is fully aware of the situation. I’m not the sort to just kiss a stranger in a club (especially not these days) but at some point in the discussions leading up to something I’ll make sure it’s out there… obviously at a non weird moment … most people would never know and there is no risk when not having an attack. I’d just not feel right

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By *adyBugsWoman
over a year ago

cognito


"So, as a thought: should we expect trans people to disclose that they are trans, or should we expect people that care to ask?

This is what we expect with other things that people are picky about.

This is an excellent way of seeing it and, I’ll admit, not a take on it that I’d considered before. "

This is the ultimate answer in my opinion. If you are going to be bothered about being with a trans person and feel like you’ll be deceived if you found out later then ask about sexual history before your pants hit your ankles and you still have time to pull them up and walk away. You should already be asking about sexual health status and contraception options before you get to that point anyway so open honest dialogue should already be there.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"

Jesus it’s not believe it’s just how it is. If you get “deceived” to the point you didn’t realise , how can you say don’t expect me to believe ur not a woman. U would only come to the realisation once the info is presented to you…. But until that point u would have seen a woman. Which is the reality of aligning the in with the out

To me it’s not just a case of “that’s just how it is” my feeling and opinions on the subject are also not coming from a place of complete ignorance. Growing up my father went a long way along the road to transitioning, during that process he also spent time with a psychiatrist, this in the end was the solution not transitioning. This may not be the solution to all, but obviously it is for some. It is an important variable in the decision to get intimate for some. For some it will not be a problem and for others it will, but to remove that choice from someone would not be fair.

Absolutely and that’s why I like to be transparent to avoid complications , having said that imagine if you had to fully disclose parts of you. For example the fact that u might be (I’m not saying you are) closed minded and don’t understand trans people. Or that you don’t want to support someone who has a medical condition

I see it’s something that needs to be discussed for sure, having said that, it’s not something I have to justify to every single person UNLESS I get romantic with them.

I’ve snogged guys out at clubs and I didn’t say anything. Did they ask me if I was trans ? No, did I say I was ? No.

Do I feel guilty for a cheeky snog? No I don’t, never saw them again. So who’s right , who’s wrong?

So there are things I always disclose before getting intimate as they can have a bearing on the situation, I make sure the fact I get cold sores is out there. It’s very rare that I do and obviously when I get an attack I’m not getting out there and putting it about, but I think it’s only fair that someone I’m going to kiss is fully aware of the situation. I’m not the sort to just kiss a stranger in a club (especially not these days) but at some point in the discussions leading up to something I’ll make sure it’s out there… obviously at a non weird moment … most people would never know and there is no risk when not having an attack. I’d just not feel right "

Well kudos to you that at clubs you stop girls u might kiss to let them know u have cold sores so they can sign a written agreement of consent

But I bet loads don’t, and they maybe shouldn’t have to unless u have breaks, like u probably

Wouldn’t want to kiss then anyway..

I’m not justifying either behaviours, I’m just

Pointing out facts

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

My point of transparency is also a way to be able to protect myself from disappointment and the potential of being hurt if I get too invested. Or build my hopes.

I had some guys saying I see u as a woman and I find you very attractive , there’s no doubt but I can’t go past the information of how u were born and it fucks with my brain atm. Which I totally understand (but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t disappointed slightly that we are still at that point)

So Yeah, I see all sides, who knows maybe one day society will see is as more common and totally normal that we don’t have to always feel this way

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham


"

Jesus it’s not believe it’s just how it is. If you get “deceived” to the point you didn’t realise , how can you say don’t expect me to believe ur not a woman. U would only come to the realisation once the info is presented to you…. But until that point u would have seen a woman. Which is the reality of aligning the in with the out

To me it’s not just a case of “that’s just how it is” my feeling and opinions on the subject are also not coming from a place of complete ignorance. Growing up my father went a long way along the road to transitioning, during that process he also spent time with a psychiatrist, this in the end was the solution not transitioning. This may not be the solution to all, but obviously it is for some. It is an important variable in the decision to get intimate for some. For some it will not be a problem and for others it will, but to remove that choice from someone would not be fair.

Absolutely and that’s why I like to be transparent to avoid complications , having said that imagine if you had to fully disclose parts of you. For example the fact that u might be (I’m not saying you are) closed minded and don’t understand trans people. Or that you don’t want to support someone who has a medical condition

I see it’s something that needs to be discussed for sure, having said that, it’s not something I have to justify to every single person UNLESS I get romantic with them.

I’ve snogged guys out at clubs and I didn’t say anything. Did they ask me if I was trans ? No, did I say I was ? No.

Do I feel guilty for a cheeky snog? No I don’t, never saw them again. So who’s right , who’s wrong?

So there are things I always disclose before getting intimate as they can have a bearing on the situation, I make sure the fact I get cold sores is out there. It’s very rare that I do and obviously when I get an attack I’m not getting out there and putting it about, but I think it’s only fair that someone I’m going to kiss is fully aware of the situation. I’m not the sort to just kiss a stranger in a club (especially not these days) but at some point in the discussions leading up to something I’ll make sure it’s out there… obviously at a non weird moment … most people would never know and there is no risk when not having an attack. I’d just not feel right "

Are you actually comparing trans issues with communicable diseases?! Is that what I'm reading here?!

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By *00STERMan
over a year ago

nearby


"

Are you actually comparing trans issues with communicable diseases?! Is that what I'm reading here?! "

Congratulations for completely missing my point. No it was not a direct comparison other than to suggest it was something that may effect someone’s decision (it never has so far) that I do not need to disclose but choose to.

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By *ovebjsMan
over a year ago

Bristol

If you are going to engage in sexual activity or embark on a relationship then you owe it to the other person to be honest and upfront

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *just.meMan
over a year ago

hartlepool

Wouldn't bother me

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"If you are going to engage in sexual activity or embark on a relationship then you owe it to the other person to be honest and upfront "

Where do we draw the line? A hug? A kiss? A hook up? A friends with benefit situation? A relationship ? A marriage?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I felt really comfortable with someone and everything was going great sexually then I'd rather know. Not because they owe it to me to tell me but because I would be really disappointed to think that they couldn't talk to me about it. I think the reaction of the person being told would spreak volumes about their own mentality.

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


" "

Pussy stunting?

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT


"

Pussy stunting? "

Ya a shocked

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"If I felt really comfortable with someone and everything was going great sexually then I'd rather know. Not because they owe it to me to tell me but because I would be really disappointed to think that they couldn't talk to me about it. I think the reaction of the person being told would spreak volumes about their own mentality. "

I totally agree with that reasoning to feel hurt by the “deceit” and I’d accept this more than the “ I can’t because ur chromosomes are and u were born as”

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By *oncupiscent_dreamMan
over a year ago

City

I think if you lie about anything. Your job, where you live, your relationship status the you have not really got consent for sex.

I personally think if someone lies for sex they should be sent to jail.

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT


"I think if you lie about anything. Your job, where you live, your relationship status the you have not really got consent for sex.

I personally think if someone lies for sex they should be sent to jail."

So you should be sent to prison for not disclosing your job

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I think if you lie about anything. Your job, where you live, your relationship status the you have not really got consent for sex.

I personally think if someone lies for sex they should be sent to jail."

Jeez, I mean… they barely send people to jail for stalking people … seems a bit exaggerated

U are a big boy I’m sure u would handle it if it happened to you…

Ps: that’s why some of us end up getting killed btw

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By *uckandbunnyCouple
over a year ago

In your bed

I think it depends on the scenario.

For example let's say a guy enters a room in a swinging club were a gangbang is taking place.

Now he decides to join in because he is attracted and wants to participate.

Are they being deceived?

(ideally there would be talk, but sometimes group fun is more organic and people just ask is it OK to join in)

In a relationship you do share your past and future hopes and dreams.

So in that situation it would be deceptive to me.

So the question is where does the line cross.

I don't think there is a single point that you can say, you should have told them.

Different subject but I think I knew bunny was bi by the second or 3rd date.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts


"I think if you lie about anything. Your job, where you live, your relationship status the you have not really got consent for sex.

I personally think if someone lies for sex they should be sent to jail."

Bloody hell I should be serving a life sentence then!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think if you lie about anything. Your job, where you live, your relationship status the you have not really got consent for sex.

I personally think if someone lies for sex they should be sent to jail.

Jeez, I mean… they barely send people to jail for stalking people … seems a bit exaggerated

U are a big boy I’m sure u would handle it if it happened to you…

Ps: that’s why some of us end up getting killed btw "

Yep.

I’ve heard of girls being approached by a a guy who’s out with his friends. When they’re told ‘by the way, did you realise I’m trans?’ in the first few lines of conversation the guy has been so offended that she’s ‘tricked’ him, it’s got nasty.

This is a very real dilemma for a trans woman on a night out.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think it depends on the scenario.

For example let's say a guy enters a room in a swinging club were a gangbang is taking place.

Now he decides to join in because he is attracted and wants to participate.

Are they being deceived?

(ideally there would be talk, but sometimes group fun is more organic and people just ask is it OK to join in)

In a relationship you do share your past and future hopes and dreams.

So in that situation it would be deceptive to me.

So the question is where does the line cross.

I don't think there is a single point that you can say, you should have told them.

Different subject but I think I knew bunny was bi by the second or 3rd date. "

I’ve mentioned this incident on here before: I was face between the legs of someone in a swing club in a group play session with my ass in the air wearing a short skirt.

A guy came up behind me, asked if he could fuck me, to which I said yes.

He suited up and went to draw my knickers to one side and I guess he spotted my pre op condition!

He quickly apologised and said he hadn’t realised I was trans.

In those days, it never occurred to me anyone wouldn’t be able to spot me as trans at a 1000 yards.

What should I have done apart from say yes or no when I was already busy orally pleasuring someone else?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I think if you lie about anything. Your job, where you live, your relationship status the you have not really got consent for sex.

I personally think if someone lies for sex they should be sent to jail.

Bloody hell I should be serving a life sentence then! "

Noraaaaa!!! What did you doooo time to fess up

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think if you lie about anything. Your job, where you live, your relationship status the you have not really got consent for sex.

I personally think if someone lies for sex they should be sent to jail.

Bloody hell I should be serving a life sentence then!

Noraaaaa!!! What did you doooo time to fess up "

I’ve had plenty of guys lie about their job, their marital status, their intentions towards me….. the jails are going to be full.

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts


"I think if you lie about anything. Your job, where you live, your relationship status the you have not really got consent for sex.

I personally think if someone lies for sex they should be sent to jail.

Bloody hell I should be serving a life sentence then!

Noraaaaa!!! What did you doooo time to fess up "

I don’t tell anyone my job or where I live! Although I don’t lie to people, I just don’t tell people much. That’s not the same

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"

What should I have done apart from say yes or no when I was already busy orally pleasuring someone else? "

Dirty mareeeee

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By *ecadent_DevonMan
over a year ago

Okehampton

I think that is about our choice of partners and how we allow informed consent. If someone that has transitioned feels that this information would be poorly received by a potential partner then they should probably not have selected that partner.

As someone that has transitioned or is transitioning you will have to acknowledge that this will limit your choice of partners to the more open minded of society. I have heard rumour that some lesbians consider the act of omission by a transitioned M2F as (a word I cannot use), should they have sex and I can see their perspective there.

However bi-sexuality is much more common these days (or at least more openly acknowledged) and therefore it is here that the potential for least harm exists.

It is a “now” problem. What the future will make of it who knows but what I do feel is that the more open we are about our sexuality and any genders we have been/might be in the future the less stigma will be attached to relationships. Communication as always, positive communication that allows informed choice, will, over time, open up new possibilities and societal norms.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts


"I think if you lie about anything. Your job, where you live, your relationship status the you have not really got consent for sex.

I personally think if someone lies for sex they should be sent to jail.

Bloody hell I should be serving a life sentence then!

Noraaaaa!!! What did you doooo time to fess up

I’ve had plenty of guys lie about their job, their marital status, their intentions towards me….. the jails are going to be full. "

Of fabbers!! Should be a fun jail

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *inky Biscuit DunkerMan
over a year ago

Gloucestershire


"I think if you lie about anything. Your job, where you live, your relationship status the you have not really got consent for sex.

I personally think if someone lies for sex they should be sent to jail.

Bloody hell I should be serving a life sentence then!

Noraaaaa!!! What did you doooo time to fess up

I’ve had plenty of guys lie about their job, their marital status, their intentions towards me….. the jails are going to be full. "

Maybe I ought to lie about Jaffa cakes…oh God I love them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think it depends on the scenario.

For example let's say a guy enters a room in a swinging club were a gangbang is taking place.

Now he decides to join in because he is attracted and wants to participate.

Are they being deceived?

(ideally there would be talk, but sometimes group fun is more organic and people just ask is it OK to join in)

In a relationship you do share your past and future hopes and dreams.

So in that situation it would be deceptive to me.

So the question is where does the line cross.

I don't think there is a single point that you can say, you should have told them.

Different subject but I think I knew bunny was bi by the second or 3rd date.

I’ve mentioned this incident on here before: I was face between the legs of someone in a swing club in a group play session with my ass in the air wearing a short skirt.

A guy came up behind me, asked if he could fuck me, to which I said yes.

He suited up and went to draw my knickers to one side and I guess he spotted my pre op condition!

He quickly apologised and said he hadn’t realised I was trans.

In those days, it never occurred to me anyone wouldn’t be able to spot me as trans at a 1000 yards.

What should I have done apart from say yes or no when I was already busy orally pleasuring someone else? "

Let's hear some more about this please.....

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I think if you lie about anything. Your job, where you live, your relationship status the you have not really got consent for sex.

I personally think if someone lies for sex they should be sent to jail.

Bloody hell I should be serving a life sentence then!

Noraaaaa!!! What did you doooo time to fess up

I’ve had plenty of guys lie about their job, their marital status, their intentions towards me….. the jails are going to be full.

Of fabbers!! Should be a fun jail "

Can the 3 of us bung up together in the same cell? we’d have so many giggles

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts


"I think if you lie about anything. Your job, where you live, your relationship status the you have not really got consent for sex.

I personally think if someone lies for sex they should be sent to jail.

Bloody hell I should be serving a life sentence then!

Noraaaaa!!! What did you doooo time to fess up

I’ve had plenty of guys lie about their job, their marital status, their intentions towards me….. the jails are going to be full.

Of fabbers!! Should be a fun jail

Can the 3 of us bung up together in the same cell? we’d have so many giggles "

Omg. Can you imagine!!!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *oncupiscent_dreamMan
over a year ago

City


"I think if you lie about anything. Your job, where you live, your relationship status the you have not really got consent for sex.

I personally think if someone lies for sex they should be sent to jail.

Jeez, I mean… they barely send people to jail for stalking people … seems a bit exaggerated

U are a big boy I’m sure u would handle it if it happened to you…

Ps: that’s why some of us end up getting killed btw "

I'd have no problem handling her preop.

My point stands, people who lie to get sex should be sent to jail. It's a crime in some countries and nearly all the cases are men telling lies about having wives. If you think lying for sex is okay, that's up to you. Me thinking it's wrong doesn't mean I am anti trans or anti gay, or racist. Just means I think lying for sex is wrong.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I think if you lie about anything. Your job, where you live, your relationship status the you have not really got consent for sex.

I personally think if someone lies for sex they should be sent to jail.

Bloody hell I should be serving a life sentence then!

Noraaaaa!!! What did you doooo time to fess up

I’ve had plenty of guys lie about their job, their marital status, their intentions towards me….. the jails are going to be full.

Maybe I ought to lie about Jaffa cakes…oh God I love them "

Didn’t you love them??? I thought u did love biscuits!!!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *oncupiscent_dreamMan
over a year ago

City


"I’ve had plenty of guys lie about their job, their marital status, their intentions towards me….. the jails are going to be full. "

Exactly, you never consented fully to be with them men, they manipulated you. If it was illegal then people would have to stop doing it. Unless you enjoy being made a fool I guess.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I think if you lie about anything. Your job, where you live, your relationship status the you have not really got consent for sex.

I personally think if someone lies for sex they should be sent to jail.

Bloody hell I should be serving a life sentence then!

Noraaaaa!!! What did you doooo time to fess up

I’ve had plenty of guys lie about their job, their marital status, their intentions towards me….. the jails are going to be full.

Of fabbers!! Should be a fun jail

Can the 3 of us bung up together in the same cell? we’d have so many giggles

Omg. Can you imagine!!! "

So long as I still get to have some sort of pics sent in of Jack, I’m happy

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By *avidagainMan
over a year ago

st.leonards on sea

i love my trans friend m to f and they havent even transed yet wouldnt have a problem at all its the person not the label x

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT


"I’ve had plenty of guys lie about their job, their marital status, their intentions towards me….. the jails are going to be full.

Exactly, you never consented fully to be with them men, they manipulated you. If it was illegal then people would have to stop doing it. Unless you enjoy being made a fool I guess."

Nora's no fool

Dont be so rude

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts


"I’ve had plenty of guys lie about their job, their marital status, their intentions towards me….. the jails are going to be full.

Exactly, you never consented fully to be with them men, they manipulated you. If it was illegal then people would have to stop doing it. Unless you enjoy being made a fool I guess."

What gives someone the right to know where you live or your job?!! I had some nutter trace me through one of my websites. No chance I’d ever do that again.

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT


"I think if you lie about anything. Your job, where you live, your relationship status the you have not really got consent for sex.

I personally think if someone lies for sex they should be sent to jail.

Jeez, I mean… they barely send people to jail for stalking people … seems a bit exaggerated

U are a big boy I’m sure u would handle it if it happened to you…

Ps: that’s why some of us end up getting killed btw

I'd have no problem handling her preop.

My point stands, people who lie to get sex should be sent to jail. It's a crime in some countries and nearly all the cases are men telling lies about having wives. If you think lying for sex is okay, that's up to you. Me thinking it's wrong doesn't mean I am anti trans or anti gay, or racist. Just means I think lying for sex is wrong."

Sent to jail

Haha omg

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts


"I’ve had plenty of guys lie about their job, their marital status, their intentions towards me….. the jails are going to be full.

Exactly, you never consented fully to be with them men, they manipulated you. If it was illegal then people would have to stop doing it. Unless you enjoy being made a fool I guess.

Nora's no fool

Dont be so rude"

Haha that was to Rachael. But I don’t reckon she’s no fool either!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I’ve had plenty of guys lie about their job, their marital status, their intentions towards me….. the jails are going to be full.

Exactly, you never consented fully to be with them men, they manipulated you. If it was illegal then people would have to stop doing it. Unless you enjoy being made a fool I guess."

It can disappointing of course, criminal offence seems quite extreme … I did sleep with a guy a few times, who I found out later on he was convicted for manslaughter … I see why he hasn’t said and he was a good guy to me back then, so I didn’t feel like judge him. I’m not angry he didn’t fess up right away as I bet it’s not an easy thing to say.

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By *inky Biscuit DunkerMan
over a year ago

Gloucestershire


"I think if you lie about anything. Your job, where you live, your relationship status the you have not really got consent for sex.

I personally think if someone lies for sex they should be sent to jail.

Bloody hell I should be serving a life sentence then!

Noraaaaa!!! What did you doooo time to fess up

I’ve had plenty of guys lie about their job, their marital status, their intentions towards me….. the jails are going to be full.

Maybe I ought to lie about Jaffa cakes…oh God I love them

Didn’t you love them??? I thought u did love biscuits!!! "

I see what you did there!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT


"I’ve had plenty of guys lie about their job, their marital status, their intentions towards me….. the jails are going to be full.

Exactly, you never consented fully to be with them men, they manipulated you. If it was illegal then people would have to stop doing it. Unless you enjoy being made a fool I guess.

Nora's no fool

Dont be so rude

Haha that was to Rachael. But I don’t reckon she’s no fool either!"

Oops xx

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts


"I’ve had plenty of guys lie about their job, their marital status, their intentions towards me….. the jails are going to be full.

Exactly, you never consented fully to be with them men, they manipulated you. If it was illegal then people would have to stop doing it. Unless you enjoy being made a fool I guess.

What gives someone the right to know where you live or your job?!! I had some nutter trace me through one of my websites. No chance I’d ever do that again. "

And my location on here is miles from where I live. Get ya handcuffs

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I’ve had plenty of guys lie about their job, their marital status, their intentions towards me….. the jails are going to be full.

Exactly, you never consented fully to be with them men, they manipulated you. If it was illegal then people would have to stop doing it. Unless you enjoy being made a fool I guess.

It can disappointing of course, criminal offence seems quite extreme … I did sleep with a guy a few times, who I found out later on he was convicted for manslaughter … I see why he hasn’t said and he was a good guy to me back then, so I didn’t feel like judge him. I’m not angry he didn’t fess up right away as I bet it’s not an easy thing to say. "

Also let me point out we turn out to have a situationship and I disregarded every red flag on that guy cos I’m a stupid bitch

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I’ve had plenty of guys lie about their job, their marital status, their intentions towards me….. the jails are going to be full.

Exactly, you never consented fully to be with them men, they manipulated you. If it was illegal then people would have to stop doing it. Unless you enjoy being made a fool I guess.

Nora's no fool

Dont be so rude"

He was replying to me.

I’m still no fool. I usually eke out the truth.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I mention I’m transitioned in my profile but you’ll see I don’t hit them with it straight away.

I’ve tried the ‘firstly I’m trans….’ approach and they don’t get as far as to read that I’m post op.

If we chat a bit first and then I ask if they read the bit about my having had surgery, they very rarely then have issue.

Being trans is part of my history. I’m not ashamed of it and, as you may know from my threads, I’m happy to talk about it.

Being trans does not define me though. I’m so much more than a series of operations. "
exactly x

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT


"I’ve had plenty of guys lie about their job, their marital status, their intentions towards me….. the jails are going to be full.

Exactly, you never consented fully to be with them men, they manipulated you. If it was illegal then people would have to stop doing it. Unless you enjoy being made a fool I guess.

Nora's no fool

Dont be so rude

He was replying to me.

I’m still no fool. I usually eke out the truth. "

I gathered scroll up

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I think if you lie about anything. Your job, where you live, your relationship status the you have not really got consent for sex.

I personally think if someone lies for sex they should be sent to jail.

Bloody hell I should be serving a life sentence then!

Noraaaaa!!! What did you doooo time to fess up

I’ve had plenty of guys lie about their job, their marital status, their intentions towards me….. the jails are going to be full.

Maybe I ought to lie about Jaffa cakes…oh God I love them

Didn’t you love them??? I thought u did love biscuits!!!

I see what you did there! "

Whattt did I do I don’t understand sir

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Speak the truth

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think if you lie about anything. Your job, where you live, your relationship status the you have not really got consent for sex.

I personally think if someone lies for sex they should be sent to jail.

Jeez, I mean… they barely send people to jail for stalking people … seems a bit exaggerated

U are a big boy I’m sure u would handle it if it happened to you…

Ps: that’s why some of us end up getting killed btw

I'd have no problem handling her preop.

My point stands, people who lie to get sex should be sent to jail. It's a crime in some countries and nearly all the cases are men telling lies about having wives. If you think lying for sex is okay, that's up to you. Me thinking it's wrong doesn't mean I am anti trans or anti gay, or racist. Just means I think lying for sex is wrong."

For the record; I also think lying to get sex is wrong.

I don’t lie when I say I’m female. I don’t lie by my appearance.

As I’ve said earlier; I do make it clear early on in the conversation that I’m trans to out those who would have issue with my history.

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By *oncupiscent_dreamMan
over a year ago

City

Being made a fool of does not mean you're a fool, it means you're being made a fool.

Look I'll retract my statement, and reverse it, people should be encouraged to lie for sex, can you all leave me alone now?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I’ve had plenty of guys lie about their job, their marital status, their intentions towards me….. the jails are going to be full.

Exactly, you never consented fully to be with them men, they manipulated you. If it was illegal then people would have to stop doing it. Unless you enjoy being made a fool I guess.

Nora's no fool

Dont be so rude

He was replying to me.

I’m still no fool. I usually eke out the truth.

I gathered scroll up"

I was typing as you posted.

I’m old. I type slower than you!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Just read the

OP

The woman should have told him about being trans

Things can turn well

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT


"I’ve had plenty of guys lie about their job, their marital status, their intentions towards me….. the jails are going to be full.

Exactly, you never consented fully to be with them men, they manipulated you. If it was illegal then people would have to stop doing it. Unless you enjoy being made a fool I guess.

Nora's no fool

Dont be so rude

He was replying to me.

I’m still no fool. I usually eke out the truth.

I gathered scroll up

I was typing as you posted.

I’m old. I type slower than you! "

Your stunning xxx

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT


"Being made a fool of does not mean you're a fool, it means you're being made a fool.

Look I'll retract my statement, and reverse it, people should be encouraged to lie for sex, can you all leave me alone now?"

Deal so behave xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Being made a fool of does not mean you're a fool, it means you're being made a fool.

Look I'll retract my statement, and reverse it, people should be encouraged to lie for sex, can you all leave me alone now?"

I agreed that people shouldn’t lie to get sex.

I got what you meant when you posted regarding being made a fool of and didn’t read it as you calling me a fool.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just read the

OP

The woman should have told him about being trans

Things can turn well

"

Yes. I agree: she should have told him a long time before it got to sex.

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT


"Just read the

OP

The woman should have told him about being trans

Things can turn well

Yes. I agree: she should have told him a long time before it got to sex. "

Yes xxxxx

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Being made a fool of does not mean you're a fool, it means you're being made a fool.

Look I'll retract my statement, and reverse it, people should be encouraged to lie for sex, can you all leave me alone now?"

We aren’t attacking you dude, we just say that people should be transparent but sadly a lot aren’t.

Saying not transparent people should go to jail or risk jail is extreme, unless there’s an actual harm. Like people having HIV going out infecting people on purpose or the guy who brought back home d*unk guys in Manchester and had non sensual with them as they were pass ed out.

If guys want to sleep with me it’s because they find me attractive . I am transparent obviously cos I like to be and have to be. But I see also the other coin of those who might not fully disclose it for whatever reason.

But the attraction is real . And is undeniable

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Just read the

OP

The woman should have told him about being trans

Things can turn well

"

She should have for her safety. Luckily the other party was so in love with her he didn’t mind at all.

But In an ideal world, she shouldnt have the need to explain herself every single time.

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By *olly_chromaticTV/TS
over a year ago

Stockport


"I think if you lie about anything. Your job, where you live, your relationship status the you have not really got consent for sex.

I personally think if someone lies for sex they should be sent to jail.

Jeez, I mean… they barely send people to jail for stalking people … seems a bit exaggerated

U are a big boy I’m sure u would handle it if it happened to you…

Ps: that’s why some of us end up getting killed btw

Yep.

I’ve heard of girls being approached by a a guy who’s out with his friends. When they’re told ‘by the way, did you realise I’m trans?’ in the first few lines of conversation the guy has been so offended that she’s ‘tricked’ him, it’s got nasty.

This is a very real dilemma for a trans woman on a night out. "

The unfortunate truth is that some men get aggressive to trans women because we "trick them" just by our very existence. They see you in the street at a distance and invest a few milliseconds in lustful thoughts because "Oh look, a woman". Then as they get closer their face changes as it dawns "What, it's a man! How dare he waste my time, tricking me into using my valuable store of horniness, I'm furious, they were trying to make me gay!". At which point some men will start shouting insults and even commit assault. Because you owe them, you deceived them, you made them less of a man.

And this can occur in the middle of the day on the high street full of people shopping.

So there is no wonder that those who can "pass" so often just want to go into stealth, to hide their history, to just be ordinary women, to not have to continually out themselves in a way that can put them in very real danger of violence.

I don't have any magic solution to all this, maybe there isn't one. In a way I'm glad that I don't pass, I still get the aggression from random nutters on the street, but at least nobody can claim that I've lied about my gender to get them into bed...

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I think if you lie about anything. Your job, where you live, your relationship status the you have not really got consent for sex.

I personally think if someone lies for sex they should be sent to jail.

Jeez, I mean… they barely send people to jail for stalking people … seems a bit exaggerated

U are a big boy I’m sure u would handle it if it happened to you…

Ps: that’s why some of us end up getting killed btw

Yep.

I’ve heard of girls being approached by a a guy who’s out with his friends. When they’re told ‘by the way, did you realise I’m trans?’ in the first few lines of conversation the guy has been so offended that she’s ‘tricked’ him, it’s got nasty.

This is a very real dilemma for a trans woman on a night out.

The unfortunate truth is that some men get aggressive to trans women because we "trick them" just by our very existence. They see you in the street at a distance and invest a few milliseconds in lustful thoughts because "Oh look, a woman". Then as they get closer their face changes as it dawns "What, it's a man! How dare he waste my time, tricking me into using my valuable store of horniness, I'm furious, they were trying to make me gay!". At which point some men will start shouting insults and even commit assault. Because you owe them, you deceived them, you made them less of a man.

And this can occur in the middle of the day on the high street full of people shopping.

So there is no wonder that those who can "pass" so often just want to go into stealth, to hide their history, to just be ordinary women, to not have to continually out themselves in a way that can put them in very real danger of violence.

I don't have any magic solution to all this, maybe there isn't one. In a way I'm glad that I don't pass, I still get the aggression from random nutters on the street, but at least nobody can claim that I've lied about my gender to get them into bed..."

Polssss

U made me emotional reading that x

I don’t really know what to add on top x

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38


"I think if you lie about anything. Your job, where you live, your relationship status the you have not really got consent for sex.

I personally think if someone lies for sex they should be sent to jail.

Jeez, I mean… they barely send people to jail for stalking people … seems a bit exaggerated

U are a big boy I’m sure u would handle it if it happened to you…

Ps: that’s why some of us end up getting killed btw

Yep.

I’ve heard of girls being approached by a a guy who’s out with his friends. When they’re told ‘by the way, did you realise I’m trans?’ in the first few lines of conversation the guy has been so offended that she’s ‘tricked’ him, it’s got nasty.

This is a very real dilemma for a trans woman on a night out.

The unfortunate truth is that some men get aggressive to trans women because we "trick them" just by our very existence. They see you in the street at a distance and invest a few milliseconds in lustful thoughts because "Oh look, a woman". Then as they get closer their face changes as it dawns "What, it's a man! How dare he waste my time, tricking me into using my valuable store of horniness, I'm furious, they were trying to make me gay!". At which point some men will start shouting insults and even commit assault. Because you owe them, you deceived them, you made them less of a man.

And this can occur in the middle of the day on the high street full of people shopping.

So there is no wonder that those who can "pass" so often just want to go into stealth, to hide their history, to just be ordinary women, to not have to continually out themselves in a way that can put them in very real danger of violence.

I don't have any magic solution to all this, maybe there isn't one. In a way I'm glad that I don't pass, I still get the aggression from random nutters on the street, but at least nobody can claim that I've lied about my gender to get them into bed..."

I hate that there are those with this attitude, and that they feel that they can subject others to such vitriol.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think if you lie about anything. Your job, where you live, your relationship status the you have not really got consent for sex.

I personally think if someone lies for sex they should be sent to jail.

Jeez, I mean… they barely send people to jail for stalking people … seems a bit exaggerated

U are a big boy I’m sure u would handle it if it happened to you…

Ps: that’s why some of us end up getting killed btw

Yep.

I’ve heard of girls being approached by a a guy who’s out with his friends. When they’re told ‘by the way, did you realise I’m trans?’ in the first few lines of conversation the guy has been so offended that she’s ‘tricked’ him, it’s got nasty.

This is a very real dilemma for a trans woman on a night out.

The unfortunate truth is that some men get aggressive to trans women because we "trick them" just by our very existence. They see you in the street at a distance and invest a few milliseconds in lustful thoughts because "Oh look, a woman". Then as they get closer their face changes as it dawns "What, it's a man! How dare he waste my time, tricking me into using my valuable store of horniness, I'm furious, they were trying to make me gay!". At which point some men will start shouting insults and even commit assault. Because you owe them, you deceived them, you made them less of a man.

And this can occur in the middle of the day on the high street full of people shopping.

So there is no wonder that those who can "pass" so often just want to go into stealth, to hide their history, to just be ordinary women, to not have to continually out themselves in a way that can put them in very real danger of violence.

I don't have any magic solution to all this, maybe there isn't one. In a way I'm glad that I don't pass, I still get the aggression from random nutters on the street, but at least nobody can claim that I've lied about my gender to get them into bed...

Polssss

U made me emotional reading that x

I don’t really know what to add on top x"

The only thing I’ll add is that I’ve known Polly personally for several years now and know her to be an intelligent, sensitive, caring and very honest person.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Forgive my ignorance....but if you have a facsimile of a pussy...what do you get out of having penetrative sex ... can you orgasm...where is the pleasure for you ... "

I didn't know either, so thank you for asking!

It's the only way to learn Sir...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is such an interesting question. I personally would prefer everyone to be honest, because only with full information can anyone truly give consent. Not everyone will be ok with sleeping with a trans woman and that's their right to have a preference. So to hide it might be considered a deceit and therefore a lack of proper consent.

Also, if you're starting a relationship I think you should be honest as it might affect how and if you can have children one day, which again should possibly be discussed fairly early in a relationship.

Just my thoughts.

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By *olly_chromaticTV/TS
over a year ago

Stockport


"I think if you lie about anything. Your job, where you live, your relationship status the you have not really got consent for sex.

I personally think if someone lies for sex they should be sent to jail.

Jeez, I mean… they barely send people to jail for stalking people … seems a bit exaggerated

U are a big boy I’m sure u would handle it if it happened to you…

Ps: that’s why some of us end up getting killed btw

Yep.

I’ve heard of girls being approached by a a guy who’s out with his friends. When they’re told ‘by the way, did you realise I’m trans?’ in the first few lines of conversation the guy has been so offended that she’s ‘tricked’ him, it’s got nasty.

This is a very real dilemma for a trans woman on a night out.

The unfortunate truth is that some men get aggressive to trans women because we "trick them" just by our very existence. They see you in the street at a distance and invest a few milliseconds in lustful thoughts because "Oh look, a woman". Then as they get closer their face changes as it dawns "What, it's a man! How dare he waste my time, tricking me into using my valuable store of horniness, I'm furious, they were trying to make me gay!". At which point some men will start shouting insults and even commit assault. Because you owe them, you deceived them, you made them less of a man.

And this can occur in the middle of the day on the high street full of people shopping.

So there is no wonder that those who can "pass" so often just want to go into stealth, to hide their history, to just be ordinary women, to not have to continually out themselves in a way that can put them in very real danger of violence.

I don't have any magic solution to all this, maybe there isn't one. In a way I'm glad that I don't pass, I still get the aggression from random nutters on the street, but at least nobody can claim that I've lied about my gender to get them into bed...

Polssss

U made me emotional reading that x

I don’t really know what to add on top x

The only thing I’ll add is that I’ve known Polly personally for several years now and know her to be an intelligent, sensitive, caring and very honest person.

"

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"This is such an interesting question. I personally would prefer everyone to be honest, because only with full information can anyone truly give consent. Not everyone will be ok with sleeping with a trans woman and that's their right to have a preference. So to hide it might be considered a deceit and therefore a lack of proper consent.

Also, if you're starting a relationship I think you should be honest as it might affect how and if you can have children one day, which again should possibly be discussed fairly early in a relationship.

Just my thoughts."

I think everyone agrees that honesty is clearly the right way. But yeah it’s a difficult subject that is real for sure!!

And the unlucky ones ended up being hurt or worst, killed

Btw it isn’t that easy for everyone to say look this is the case. Because as you can imagine it isn’t talking about whether we have a dog or a cat at home

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The journey we take as ‘trans’ is individual to each of us as much as we are individuals in our own right.

The option of transition isn’t for everyone nor is it available to everyone who wants it for a variety of reasons, not least that the nhs option is an unbelievably difficult one to access.

The world has a long way to go in understanding what is gender.

Science is unraveling the truth. Proving it’s more than just someone deciding to identify as something other people don’t see.

Some people are gay. Some are left handed. Some are trans.

It seems it’s easier to accept a trans person as they present if they are classically feminine or masculine

If you look female but you’re a trans man it is as frustrating as it is for a masculine looking trans woman.

Transition is just that: it takes time to undo as much of the first puberty you suffered. It’s not instant.

If you transition younger, you’re more likely to ‘pass’.

If you’re older, time has etched your birth gender into your bones literally.

To begin medical transition you must first spend years facing the world as you with no help, interventions or support.

Choose to be kind.

There’s no need to be nasty.

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek


"I think if you lie about anything. Your job, where you live, your relationship status the you have not really got consent for sex.

I personally think if someone lies for sex they should be sent to jail.

Jeez, I mean… they barely send people to jail for stalking people … seems a bit exaggerated

U are a big boy I’m sure u would handle it if it happened to you…

Ps: that’s why some of us end up getting killed btw

Yep.

I’ve heard of girls being approached by a a guy who’s out with his friends. When they’re told ‘by the way, did you realise I’m trans?’ in the first few lines of conversation the guy has been so offended that she’s ‘tricked’ him, it’s got nasty.

This is a very real dilemma for a trans woman on a night out.

The unfortunate truth is that some men get aggressive to trans women because we "trick them" just by our very existence. They see you in the street at a distance and invest a few milliseconds in lustful thoughts because "Oh look, a woman". Then as they get closer their face changes as it dawns "What, it's a man! How dare he waste my time, tricking me into using my valuable store of horniness, I'm furious, they were trying to make me gay!". At which point some men will start shouting insults and even commit assault. Because you owe them, you deceived them, you made them less of a man.

And this can occur in the middle of the day on the high street full of people shopping.

So there is no wonder that those who can "pass" so often just want to go into stealth, to hide their history, to just be ordinary women, to not have to continually out themselves in a way that can put them in very real danger of violence.

I don't have any magic solution to all this, maybe there isn't one. In a way I'm glad that I don't pass, I still get the aggression from random nutters on the street, but at least nobody can claim that I've lied about my gender to get them into bed...

I hate that there are those with this attitude, and that they feel that they can subject others to such vitriol.

"

They're likely to be the same guys that themselves lie to get women into bed!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This is such an interesting question. I personally would prefer everyone to be honest, because only with full information can anyone truly give consent. Not everyone will be ok with sleeping with a trans woman and that's their right to have a preference. So to hide it might be considered a deceit and therefore a lack of proper consent.

Also, if you're starting a relationship I think you should be honest as it might affect how and if you can have children one day, which again should possibly be discussed fairly early in a relationship.

Just my thoughts.

I think everyone agrees that honesty is clearly the right way. But yeah it’s a difficult subject that is real for sure!!

And the unlucky ones ended up being hurt or worst, killed

Btw it isn’t that easy for everyone to say look this is the case. Because as you can imagine it isn’t talking about whether we have a dog or a cat at home "

No but it's similar to sharing anything difficult. I have a trauma from my past which I have to share with most sexual partners because certain things will trigger me and I need them to know what to do if that happens and what to avoid to try and prevent it. It's incredibly difficult sharing it, but I still do because they have a right to know in advance so we go into the bedroom together fully informed.

It's one of the reasons I don't sleep with a lot of people actually and I'm picky about who I trust enough with that information.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Forgive my ignorance....but if you have a facsimile of a pussy...what do you get out of having penetrative sex ... can you orgasm...where is the pleasure for you ...

I didn't know either, so thank you for asking!

It's the only way to learn Sir..."

I have a surgically created vagina.

They used all the nerves I had before so I can be stimulated like any other woman.

I have a clitoris that seeks when I’m aroused and a g spot. I can use my pelvic muscles on a man.

My hormone levels match those of an ovulating woman and the bacteria inside my vagina are very similar to a cis one. The result is a vulva that looks perfect and smells just right. I’ve been to bed with someone who used to identify only as lesbian and was told they couldn’t tell the difference.

I don’t self lubricant but that doesn’t mean I’m not moist and slippy inside already.

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

I think this is a bit of of a mine field!

Do I disclose..when should I disclose?

Should they have asked?

I don't think that this is a question I'd even think of asking.

I think if I was trans I'd disclose it pretty quickly. On here I'd definitely have it on my profile. I'd want to talk, become invested in people who knew and accepted me for the woman than I now am.

In saying that I wouldn't disclose it at the cheeky kiss stage in a club.

I'd like to think that anyone that I was to become intimate with would be able to tell me and I'd probably feel hurt if I found out after.

*A quick fuck and go...that maybe different.

I think if we've been in conversation then it should come up.

To sum up...I think on the whole it should be disclosed.

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By *ollydoesWoman
over a year ago

Shangri-La

[Removed by poster at 01/10/21 15:29:30]

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By *ollydoesWoman
over a year ago

Shangri-La

I think its something best got out in the open as the last thing I would want is to find out by accident or be told by some else. I would probably be more upset that thay didnt feel able to share that with me. For the right person it wont matter. What would be worse would be someone living with a "secret" like that. The emotional burden of keeping it from them and not even being able to discuss what must of been a very, traumatic seems the wrong word, time. Id want to know what made the person infront of me into the person they are today.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Most of us assume we don’t ‘pass’ well enough for people not to know.

The times I’ve said ‘ I assume you’ve realised in trans’ for people to say ‘yes of course’.

Then I’ll not say anything, assuming the person I’m talking to knows, to mention something that then makes them look astonished and say ‘hang on…. You’re saying you’re trans?’ In utter disbelief.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

On the flip side; at what point can we just get on with life rather than being introduced as the trans person?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Forgive my ignorance....but if you have a facsimile of a pussy...what do you get out of having penetrative sex ... can you orgasm...where is the pleasure for you ...

I didn't know either, so thank you for asking!

It's the only way to learn Sir...

I have a surgically created vagina.

They used all the nerves I had before so I can be stimulated like any other woman.

I have a clitoris that seeks when I’m aroused and a g spot. I can use my pelvic muscles on a man.

My hormone levels match those of an ovulating woman and the bacteria inside my vagina are very similar to a cis one. The result is a vulva that looks perfect and smells just right. I’ve been to bed with someone who used to identify only as lesbian and was told they couldn’t tell the difference.

I don’t self lubricant but that doesn’t mean I’m not moist and slippy inside already. "

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38


"On the flip side; at what point can we just get on with life rather than being introduced as the trans person? "

I don't think you be introduced in that way.

But, if that introduction leads to something more intimate, then it may be the time.

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By *uriousscouserWoman
over a year ago

Wirral

I apologise in advance if this is clumsily worded. Until this thread it's not something I'd given any thought to - it's been a really interesting one so thanks for posting it!

I've had sex with a fair number of guys, never once has it occurred to me to ask whether they were trans men. As far as I am concerned they were men. Different if they were in the process of transitioning as it would have to be disclosed, but as far as I'm concerned I was having sex with men, whether cis or trans. I had penis-in-vagina sex with someone who had a penis. I genuinely don't need to know further than that (although I am very nosy so I'd be hugely interested if they did tell me!).

If I was in a relationship with someone I'd be hurt if they didn't disclose as it's a massive part of their life to have no idea about, but I don't think I'd feel particularly deceived per se if I found out a hookup or fuck buddy was born female. I've never been in the situation so I can't say for sure, but the idea doesn't horrify me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"On the flip side; at what point can we just get on with life rather than being introduced as the trans person?

I don't think you be introduced in that way.

But, if that introduction leads to something more intimate, then it may be the time."

Oh believe me; people often have a pride that their friend is trans and doesn’t look like a bloke in a micro skirt.

I’ve had to ask several friends to stop prewarning new people that I’m trans. Also to stop them saying after I’ve left ‘did you realise?’

I get it. I’m amazing

I’m just Me though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Forgive my ignorance....but if you have a facsimile of a pussy...what do you get out of having penetrative sex ... can you orgasm...where is the pleasure for you ...

I didn't know either, so thank you for asking!

It's the only way to learn Sir...

I have a surgically created vagina.

They used all the nerves I had before so I can be stimulated like any other woman.

I have a clitoris that seeks when I’m aroused and a g spot. I can use my pelvic muscles on a man.

My hormone levels match those of an ovulating woman and the bacteria inside my vagina are very similar to a cis one. The result is a vulva that looks perfect and smells just right. I’ve been to bed with someone who used to identify only as lesbian and was told they couldn’t tell the difference.

I don’t self lubricant but that doesn’t mean I’m not moist and slippy inside already. "

Thank you ??

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38


"On the flip side; at what point can we just get on with life rather than being introduced as the trans person?

I don't think you be introduced in that way.

But, if that introduction leads to something more intimate, then it may be the time.

Oh believe me; people often have a pride that their friend is trans and doesn’t look like a bloke in a micro skirt.

I’ve had to ask several friends to stop prewarning new people that I’m trans. Also to stop them saying after I’ve left ‘did you realise?’

I get it. I’m amazing

I’m just Me though. "

I can't disagree with that Rachel...you are pretty amazing, and not because you're trans

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"On the flip side; at what point can we just get on with life rather than being introduced as the trans person?

I don't think you be introduced in that way.

But, if that introduction leads to something more intimate, then it may be the time.

Oh believe me; people often have a pride that their friend is trans and doesn’t look like a bloke in a micro skirt.

I’ve had to ask several friends to stop prewarning new people that I’m trans. Also to stop them saying after I’ve left ‘did you realise?’

I get it. I’m amazing

I’m just Me though. "

I think your amazing too x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"On the flip side; at what point can we just get on with life rather than being introduced as the trans person?

I don't think you be introduced in that way.

But, if that introduction leads to something more intimate, then it may be the time.

Oh believe me; people often have a pride that their friend is trans and doesn’t look like a bloke in a micro skirt.

I’ve had to ask several friends to stop prewarning new people that I’m trans. Also to stop them saying after I’ve left ‘did you realise?’

I get it. I’m amazing

I’m just Me though.

I can't disagree with that Rachel...you are pretty amazing, and not because you're trans "

Lol. I was joking xx

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38


"On the flip side; at what point can we just get on with life rather than being introduced as the trans person?

I don't think you be introduced in that way.

But, if that introduction leads to something more intimate, then it may be the time.

Oh believe me; people often have a pride that their friend is trans and doesn’t look like a bloke in a micro skirt.

I’ve had to ask several friends to stop prewarning new people that I’m trans. Also to stop them saying after I’ve left ‘did you realise?’

I get it. I’m amazing

I’m just Me though.

I can't disagree with that Rachel...you are pretty amazing, and not because you're trans

Lol. I was joking xx"

I know that were

But, I'm not xx

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford


"On the flip side; at what point can we just get on with life rather than being introduced as the trans person? "

Agree with this I used to tell people one of my daughters is transgender! Now I just say I have 4 daughters and 2 sons! Obviously I talk about her to others if it comes up but if people ask how many children do u have and are they boys girls then I just say that! At first for some reason I dont know why I felt the need to point it out ! X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"On the flip side; at what point can we just get on with life rather than being introduced as the trans person?

Agree with this I used to tell people one of my daughters is transgender! Now I just say I have 4 daughters and 2 sons! Obviously I talk about her to others if it comes up but if people ask how many children do u have and are they boys girls then I just say that! At first for some reason I dont know why I felt the need to point it out ! X"

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

Also I dont know if there are other parents here of transgender children? Do u miss the child they was? I love sophie more than I can explain I really do! And to see her happy is phenomenal! She has truly blossemed! But some times I panic if I cant remember michael!in some ways I see them as 2 different people ! Praps I'm just weird x

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38


"Also I dont know if there are other parents here of transgender children? Do u miss the child they was? I love sophie more than I can explain I really do! And to see her happy is phenomenal! She has truly blossemed! But some times I panic if I cant remember michael!in some ways I see them as 2 different people ! Praps I'm just weird x"

I have no experience of this but it kinda makes sense to me xx

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By *ecadent_DevonMan
over a year ago

Okehampton


"Also I dont know if there are other parents here of transgender children? Do u miss the child they was? I love sophie more than I can explain I really do! And to see her happy is phenomenal! She has truly blossemed! But some times I panic if I cant remember michael!in some ways I see them as 2 different people ! Praps I'm just weird x"

That’s so sadly powerful, like a form of grief. I had never imagine that this would happen but I can see why it has. Don’t really know what else to say really, just felt a rush of empathy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Also I dont know if there are other parents here of transgender children? Do u miss the child they was? I love sophie more than I can explain I really do! And to see her happy is phenomenal! She has truly blossemed! But some times I panic if I cant remember michael!in some ways I see them as 2 different people ! Praps I'm just weird x"

I have spoken to several other parents of trans children from here so you’re not alone.

I see the person I was as ‘him’ now. I have so many lovely memories of my kids, especially when we were a single parent family, but I remember myself as genderless. I was very much in limbo back then.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Also I dont know if there are other parents here of transgender children? Do u miss the child they was? I love sophie more than I can explain I really do! And to see her happy is phenomenal! She has truly blossemed! But some times I panic if I cant remember michael!in some ways I see them as 2 different people ! Praps I'm just weird x

That’s so sadly powerful, like a form of grief. I had never imagine that this would happen but I can see why it has. Don’t really know what else to say really, just felt a rush of empathy "

There is a certain degree of grief and mourning involved in transition. I mentioned this earlier on. Even we, the person transitioning, can mourn the loss of the person we’d tried to be.

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford


"Also I dont know if there are other parents here of transgender children? Do u miss the child they was? I love sophie more than I can explain I really do! And to see her happy is phenomenal! She has truly blossemed! But some times I panic if I cant remember michael!in some ways I see them as 2 different people ! Praps I'm just weird x

I have spoken to several other parents of trans children from here so you’re not alone.

I see the person I was as ‘him’ now. I have so many lovely memories of my kids, especially when we were a single parent family, but I remember myself as genderless. I was very much in limbo back then. "

Ohh absoulutley! Think sophie definitely felt the same! Was not a happy child at all! But I still kinda miss that child sometimes x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's been a great thread to learn from.

Thank you for posting.

Sorry if it's a pain to ask questions!

I'm genuinely interested.

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

I'm a lady

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm a lady "

I so want to say ‘you ain’t no lady’ in a way to insinuate you’re a naughty girl

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT


"I'm a lady

I so want to say ‘you ain’t no lady’ in a way to insinuate you’re a naughty girl "

Well ok

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It's been a great thread to learn from.

Thank you for posting.

Sorry if it's a pain to ask questions!

I'm genuinely interested.

"

I, for one, am always happy to answer questions. If people understand more then it makes transition less of a mystery.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm a lady

I so want to say ‘you ain’t no lady’ in a way to insinuate you’re a naughty girl

Well ok

"

Love you Yasmeen xx

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT


"I'm a lady

I so want to say ‘you ain’t no lady’ in a way to insinuate you’re a naughty girl

Well ok

Love you Yasmeen xx"

Love you too xxxx

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT


"I'm a lady

I so want to say ‘you ain’t no lady’ in a way to insinuate you’re a naughty girl

Well ok

Love you Yasmeen xx

Love you too xxxx

"

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By *ex HolesMan
over a year ago

Up North

I was so hoping this was going to be about a stunt pussy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I liked the person and we connected emotionally and were into each other wouldnt b a problem for me at all wouldn't matter if I was told up front or later on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I was so hoping this was going to be about a stunt pussy "

Mine’s a little new to be doing stunts just yet.

She’s pretty stunning though

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