FabSwingers.com forum: Does attractiveness shape the type of person that you are?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

This is only my experience so I’m not saying this is the truth with no exceptions.

But there has to be some kind of link between how someone looks and the kind of people they are.

I’ve known guys romantically, sexually and just on a friendship level and I’ve found that the best looking guys are complete fuck boys, they’re the type to never have a girlfriend or if they do they cheat on them so why is this? There’s probably a low percentage of guys that are super good looking and decent people but the majority are fuckboys or bad boy types or whatever other term you’d use for these people.

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By *partharmonyCouple
over a year ago

Ruislip

It's hard to say because I don't know how I'd be if I looked any different.

I consider myself somewhere in the middle looks-wise. I had terrible success with women until I was approaching 30 when things picked a bit (but not enormously). That led be to be super-nice, endlessly understanding, accepting, and respectful (not that I always got it right, but that was always my aim). My intention was to make sure nothing I did could possibly be the cause friction which might cause problems in any relationship that may come. That was because of my experience rather than my looks, although I'm sure my looks affected my experience somewhat.

Unfortunately, as a result of my attitude, I ended up taking the role of a carpet in my marriage, which was a total disaster. Ho-hum. I'm in a way better relationship now. Luke

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By *otMe66Man
over a year ago

Terra Firma

"This is only my experience so I’m not saying this is the truth with no exceptions.

But there has to be some kind of link between how someone looks and the kind of people they are.

I think it says more about the type of men

you are attracted to. You appear to be mixing up the look, the style and attitude that you go for and then painting everyone else with that brush.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

It’s not even guys I’m attracted to or have been with. Like I have men in my circle of friends who I would never even cross that line with because they are such terrible people, good FRIENDS but terrible to women they’ve slept with.

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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

No, personality, experience and upbringing all contribute to the type of person you are.

Attractiveness is just a factor that can make certain behaviour easier, just like wealth and influence.

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By *urvySub87Woman
over a year ago

Near Wellingborough

My mum's friend has 4 sons. All very very good looking and they treat their girlfriends/wives like Queens. I don't know if it's because they were basically raised by a single mother but they are respectful, lovely lads

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By *otMe66Man
over a year ago

Terra Firma

"It’s not even guys I’m attracted to or have been with. Like I have men in my circle of friends who I would never even cross that line with because they are such terrible people, good FRIENDS but terrible to women they’ve slept with. "

They are in your circle of friends so you you must have something you like about them?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I believe growing up, all the shallow minded people we have been surrounded by (could even be family). That dont even realise they treated you different because of how you look/ed.

Plays apart in shaping our personalities.

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By *inger_SnapWoman
over a year ago

Hampshire/Dorset

I don't think looks have anything to do with it, there's a few groups on FB that chat about guys who are pricks/cheats, and believe me, most of them are nothing to look at. They just have the chat and tell women what they want to hear.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 30/09/21 13:18:44]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If a person is choosing a sex partner on looks alone and subsequently gets hurt, I’m sorry but that’s poor decision making on their part.

I’m always fascinated how some people detail their preferences: height, weight, ethnicity, and seem to end up being hurt.

For some, time to be more open minded.

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

I think that personality is a mix of many different factors, for some there may be a link between what society ‘allows’ and their physical attractiveness.

I’ve often seen (on here and in general life) attractive people ‘get away with’ some things that others may not, just by virtue of their looks. I don’t think that there’s a direct correlation though as morals are a contributing factor too.

My point is that someone would need to be disposed towards being a ‘fuck boy’ before discovering that they could act that way and get away with it

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Yes perceived attractiveness does shape the kind of person you are. Very attractive people are treated differently to less attractive, therefore their life experiences will be different and their personality will reflect that.

Basic personality traits such as kindness, empathy etc are not based on looks in my opinion. I know good looking people and not so good looking who possess good qualities.

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By *hilloutMan
over a year ago

All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest

People who are generally considered attractive well above the average will invariably attract more attention and interest; certainly a case can be made that the sheer amount of offer doesn't provide them with an incentive to settle. This cuts both ways for men and women.

How they choose to act towards others depends on their upbringing , morals and outlook. There's nothing wrong with someone attractive being a fuck boy / girl so long as they"re upfront about it. It's then up to the ones attracted to act on their desires or move on to someone else.

In answer to your question yes, I believe your level of attractiveness can play a role in shaping you as a person...for better or worse.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think there’s something in this, I’ve always thought this, a mate of mine who’s a really good looking bloke, has been told lots of times by women they are surprised how nice he is, I think there’s the assumption because he’s good looking he’s going to be a complete asshole.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Physical appearance does affect one's personality. But as with most matters on people's behaviour, the extent to which it affects varies a lot depending on the environment they grew up in.

Most good looking people are used to have plenty of options in life. It makes them fuzzy. But will it always make them fuckboys or whatever the female version of it? No. That depends on other aspects.

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

Ugly people cheat and lie too.

It's not just good looking men who are "fuck bois", in my experience.

There will be very good looking men in the world who are honest and faithful.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ugly people cheat and lie too.

It's not just good looking men who are "fuck bois", in my experience.

There will be very good looking men in the world who are honest and faithful. "

I've been told I'm good looking and I'm also kind, honest, compassionate and caring. It does exist!

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By *ose and her beastCouple
over a year ago

Watford

There's a percentage in every body type that lets the side down but yes from my experience men who get their personalities from the gym are all massive dickheads

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Away for Christmas

[Removed by poster at 30/09/21 14:39:28]

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Away for Christmas

Attractiveness opens up far more opportunities, this allows the confidence and arrogance that fuels the horrible behaviour in some. They know they can either get away with shit, or if they get caught out there will easily be somebody new who will want them just waiting in line.

Is this type of behaviour exclusive to "attractive" people?

No, not at all. Horrible attitudes and behaviours exist regardless, but the opportunity is often more numerous for those who are "attractive".

Men, women, trans. Straight, gay, bi etc

It is not exclusive to any single sex or gender.

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By *stbury DavenportMan
over a year ago

Nottingham

I would be a lot happier, more confident and more wealthy if I was more attractive, so yes, it absolutely does change the sort of person that you are.

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By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

wokingham

Being attractive has proven benefits in almost all aspects of life.

Does that make you into a certain person? Not entirely, but it’ll definitely play a role.

Take a very tall, very good looking guy. He’s probably had all sorts of advantages through life because of his attractiveness that increase the chances he’s confident too. This lets him have his pick of the litter with women.

Does that mean he’s a fuck boy? No. But if you have almost any girl you want, they are easily replaced, the novelty of a new girl. All these things lend themselves to an increased chance your gonna be a fuck boy

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By *lectrumMan
over a year ago

south shields

"I would be a lot happier, more confident and more wealthy if I was more attractive, so yes, it absolutely does change the sort of person that you are. "

How do you reach that conclusion pal

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By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester

I think all generalisations are dangerous.. I know beautiful people who are just gorgeous humans through and through.. and beautiful people who are just dicks.

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By *stbury DavenportMan
over a year ago

Nottingham

"I would be a lot happier, more confident and more wealthy if I was more attractive, so yes, it absolutely does change the sort of person that you are.

How do you reach that conclusion pal"

Being more attractive leads to more sex, and therefore more happiness and confidence.

Being more attractive also leads to people liking you more and believing you to be more competent, which leads to greater employment opportunities and more money.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I would be a lot happier, more confident and more wealthy if I was more attractive, so yes, it absolutely does change the sort of person that you are.

How do you reach that conclusion pal

Being more attractive leads to more sex, and therefore more happiness and confidence.

Being more attractive also leads to people liking you more and believing you to be more competent, which leads to greater employment opportunities and more money. "

I find it hard to disagree with this point.

The downside is that a lot of attractive people who are self aware tend to have their personality shaped by it - and not in a positive way.

I have known few really facially attractive people who are really nice and down to earth.

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By *lectrumMan
over a year ago

south shields

[Removed by poster at 30/09/21 15:26:38]

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By *lectrumMan
over a year ago

south shields

"I would be a lot happier, more confident and more wealthy if I was more attractive, so yes, it absolutely does change the sort of person that you are.

How do you reach that conclusion pal

Being more attractive leads to more sex, and therefore more happiness and confidence.

Being more attractive also leads to people liking you more and believing you to be more competent, which leads to greater employment opportunities and more money. "

Really! I think your analogy is pure waffle. No offence

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By *gent CoulsonMan
over a year ago

Secret hideaway in the pennines

I know and accepted that I am not attractive in a handsome way, but it doesn't dictate who or how I am

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By *host63Man
over a year ago

Bedfont Feltham

"This is only my experience so I’m not saying this is the truth with no exceptions.

But there has to be some kind of link between how someone looks and the kind of people they are.

I think its a factor. Men and women who are really standing out good looking find people want them so do not have to try.

Two examples There is a guy I know at dancing. He is a popular DJ and a dancer and what is termed a silverfox. He had a whole flock of women after him including a friend of mine who he had to work at to get but was pretty brutal to her later when she diddnt want to hook up with him.

Saw him recently and really noticed how easy it was for him.

A flip side and my own personal experience is that I knew a girl who was a miss United kingdom candidate. I did fancy her and yes I got turned down which was fair enough. What I diddnt expect was how absolutely ugly she was inside very nasty and tried humiliating me in public, which disdnt work and showed up no one but herself.

Taught me a life lesson to never mistake outer beauty for inner.

But being nice or decent matters little to these beautiful people. They know that they will always be wanted and desired.

The rest have to work at it and have to try using personalty or a talent to get that attraction.

I found that since I took up dancing And found I was really good at it on the dancefloor I literally have loads of women after me and I was told that by a female friend.

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By *otsossieMan
over a year ago

Chesterfield

"I think all generalisations are dangerous.. I know beautiful people who are just gorgeous humans through and through.. and beautiful people who are just dicks. "

This. And the flip side.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I would be a lot happier, more confident and more wealthy if I was more attractive, so yes, it absolutely does change the sort of person that you are.

How do you reach that conclusion pal

Being more attractive leads to more sex, and therefore more happiness and confidence.

Being more attractive also leads to people liking you more and believing you to be more competent, which leads to greater employment opportunities and more money.

Really! I think your analogy is pure waffle. No offence

Apart from the more sex leading to more happiness, I think he has a point. It's a psychological bias called The Halo Effect which is pretty interesting

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By *stbury DavenportMan
over a year ago

Nottingham

"I would be a lot happier, more confident and more wealthy if I was more attractive, so yes, it absolutely does change the sort of person that you are.

How do you reach that conclusion pal

Being more attractive leads to more sex, and therefore more happiness and confidence.

Being more attractive also leads to people liking you more and believing you to be more competent, which leads to greater employment opportunities and more money.

Really! I think your analogy is pure waffle. No offence

Apart from the more sex leading to more happiness, I think he has a point. It's a psychological bias called The Halo Effect which is pretty interesting"

Came here to say exactly this. The halo effect is real and documented.

Obviously I can't speak for anyone else, but for me personally, my happiness is very strongly linked to the amount of sex I'm having, and it was me personally I was referring to in my first post in this thread.

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By *ily WhiteWoman
over a year ago

As others have said, being good looking presents you with more opportunities to be a "fuck boy". But it's someone's morals and integrity (or lack of) that will lead them down that path, not their looks...some people will do things just because they can get away with it, some just for the buzz of being desirable, there are countless reasons, but their looks isn't reason in itself.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think there’s something in this, I’ve always thought this, a mate of mine who’s a really good looking bloke, has been told lots of times by women they are surprised how nice he is, I think there’s the assumption because he’s good looking he’s going to be a complete asshole.

Maaaaate!

The fact that you think of me as a mate has made my existence worthwhile.

You’re a handsome fucker yourself too

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Away for Christmas

"I would be a lot happier, more confident and more wealthy if I was more attractive, so yes, it absolutely does change the sort of person that you are.

How do you reach that conclusion pal

Being more attractive leads to more sex, and therefore more happiness and confidence.

Being more attractive also leads to people liking you more and believing you to be more competent, which leads to greater employment opportunities and more money.

Really! I think your analogy is pure waffle. No offence

Apart from the more sex leading to more happiness, I think he has a point. It's a psychological bias called The Halo Effect which is pretty interesting

Came here to say exactly this. The halo effect is real and documented.

Yet it is also entirely possible that if you were good looking, that certain things in your life would have gone different ways, resulting in you being unhappy and maybe even miserable with your life because of things that happened as a result of your "new different" life. Might be having large amounts of sex but through the course of this new life you may end up viewing things entirely differently as a whole. Or maybe it would be the spark that ignites the perfect life we all dream of.

Which I think is the point being made. Being good looking is not the sole catalyst for being a fuck boy, for happiness, or for anything. It is nothing more than a large factor in potential for opportunity and can tip the scales one way or another when combined with... Everything else.

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By *stbury DavenportMan
over a year ago

Nottingham

"I would be a lot happier, more confident and more wealthy if I was more attractive, so yes, it absolutely does change the sort of person that you are.

How do you reach that conclusion pal

Being more attractive leads to more sex, and therefore more happiness and confidence.

Being more attractive also leads to people liking you more and believing you to be more competent, which leads to greater employment opportunities and more money.

Really! I think your analogy is pure waffle. No offence

Apart from the more sex leading to more happiness, I think he has a point. It's a psychological bias called The Halo Effect which is pretty interesting

Came here to say exactly this. The halo effect is real and documented.

Possibly. But I know me and my life an awful lot better than you do, and as such my opinion will be remaining unchanged.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

This is what I feel like I’ve encountered my whole life. I’ve only been with exceptionally good looking men. I do feel like there’s connections with everything, right I DON’T CARE about a guys height or penis size anymore I just don’t but I know that guys that are taller have a bit more confidence, add that to them having a big penis as well, extra confidence knowing they have that in the tank. Add that to them being extremely good looking as well with a gym fit physique and you’ve just got this recipe for someone to be just not good people, that’s the only way I can describe it. They do have lots of options you can’t argue against that point because they’re the typical guys that you would do a double take if you saw them. It’s bound to shape them. They know that they have options, lots and lots of options.

These are the kind of guys that I’ve had all my encounters with. I hate that it’s these guys I’m attracted to, I wish I could pull the shallowness out of myself and just fucking grow up.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

beauty is confidence

I know quite a few people of both sexes that you would call physically attractive but for whatever reason lack confidence and in my world there beauty goes as soon as you start to talk to them. Confident positive people have a beauty and a desirability that no amount of phyiscal attractiveness can overcome.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think I had to hone my personality to overcome my looks.

I'm a charming mother fucker now

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