FabSwingers.com forum: Women and body wishes

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Okay so was speaking to my brother’s girlfriend the other day, and she’s truly gorgeous.

Anyway, She kept going on about how she likes my figure (like why??) and wished she had my ass (wondering how many squats I do, answer is 0 , she couldn’t believe it

) as she feels hers is too big and she’s conscious.

While I genuinely did wish I had her bum, cos her waist to ass ratio was definitely more visible than mine making her have that sexy curvy body… stunner!! I’d have swapped there and then

My question is, I feel like we tend to be in that kinda … I wish my body looked like yours(I mean I have for sure, but noticed it a lot from other women) … and live in this eternal “insatisfaction” with ourselves (btw saying I’m okay with it isn’t truly being at peace imo)

And also, super curious…

do men also feel like they constantly naturally compare to other men and wish they had more of someone else?

How intense is this feeling for men?

Thoughts please

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

Someone said to me the other day. You always go for women with your type of body yet you’re not happy and confident with your own. I thought to myself that’s totally true. It’s strange isn’t it

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By *unkrockcockMan
over a year ago

sheff

Personally i don’t look at other men and thing i which i had his xyz.

I do every now and again see someone wearing an outfit and think well i couldn't pull that off with my body shape.

But then the thought passes and i eat another pie

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Personally I’m happy with the way I look but I know there are improvements I can make and I am.

I don’t compare myself to other men but I can appreciate the effort and time others have put into the appearance that is a driving factor sometime. I can look at a well groomed guy and say to myself he looks good, I need to make more effort.

There are some things we can change about ourselves and some things we can’t.

I’m all about changing the things I’m not happy about and accepting the times I can’t.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Personally i don’t look at other men and thing i which i had his xyz.

I do every now and again see someone wearing an outfit and think well i couldn't pull that off with my body shape.

But then the thought passes and i eat another pie

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Someone said to me the other day. You always go for women with your type of body yet you’re not happy and confident with your own. I thought to myself that’s totally true. It’s strange isn’t it

How strange is this!! I wonder if we (us women) have a very weird perception about ourselves that we just innately tend to put down …. Hmmm

U look stunning btw don’t need me to tell u that Nora x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yeah I think it’s natural to feel like that. I think for me looking at another man in an inspirational sense like in the gym for example, wishing I had arms like him or a chest like that etc

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By *illingVicMan
over a year ago

Sevenoaks

"How intense is this feeling for men?

Thoughts please

I can’t speak for everyone else, obviously, but I am eternally dissatisfied, constantly insecure, plagued by self esteem issues and basically fuelled by self loathing. Like a fatter, uglier, emo version of Phil Mitchel.

It’s a wonder I ever get anything done

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Or at least it seems more common in women as I constantly hear. I wish I had this more like that woman, or I wish that I had less of that like that other woman

Hmmm

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Yeah I think it’s natural to feel like that. I think for me looking at another man in an inspirational sense like in the gym for example, wishing I had arms like him or a chest like that etc

Do u think this topic is taboo tho between guys? X

If my question makes any sense ?

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By *TK421-Man
over a year ago

Cheltenham

I sometimes wish I had more upper body/arm strength. But otherwise I'm feeling a lot more confident in my own skin. Helps that I'm nearly half the man I was 3/4 years ago.

I don't look at other men and think 'i want that 6 pack'...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yeah I think it’s natural to feel like that. I think for me looking at another man in an inspirational sense like in the gym for example, wishing I had arms like him or a chest like that etc

Do u think this topic is taboo tho between guys? X

If my question makes any sense ?"

In a way I suppose it is where we don’t directly say it to each other or talk about it too much, maybe just the odd comment

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

How strange is this!! I wonder if we (us women) have a very weird perception about ourselves that we just innately tend to put down …. Hmmm

U look stunning btw don’t need me to tell u that Nora x

Not sure really. It’s a weight thing with me though definitely. I know I can do something about it so I don’t tend to moan. This time last year I was quite happy with myself. It’s just strange I like really curvy women yet I look at myself at the moment and really don’t like what I see. Like I said though I can do something about it. Just need a kick up the arse!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My nan always said .. never judge but expect to be judged.

Never compare yourself to others,you are who you are.

And my advise never read beauty magazines,they will only make you feel ugly,you are not as fat as you imagine.

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By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

wokingham

"Okay so was speaking to my brother’s girlfriend the other day, and she’s truly gorgeous.

Anyway, She kept going on about how she likes my figure (like why??) and wished she had my ass (wondering how many squats I do, answer is 0 , she couldn’t believe it

) as she feels hers is too big and she’s conscious.

While I genuinely did wish I had her bum, cos her waist to ass ratio was definitely more visible than mine making her have that sexy curvy body… stunner!! I’d have swapped there and then

And also, super curious…

do men also feel like they constantly naturally compare to other men and wish they had more of someone else?

How intense is this feeling for men?

Thoughts please

As a 5’9 guy with an average penis, seeing some of the requirements women set on here, I can tell you the desire for more is fairly intense

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I sometimes wish I had more upper body/arm strength. But otherwise I'm feeling a lot more confident in my own skin. Helps that I'm nearly half the man I was 3/4 years ago.

I don't look at other men and think 'i want that 6 pack'...

I'm perfectly able to appreciate wether someone is attractive and may think, a six pack would be nice, but if I really wanted one, I'd have one. I just can't be arsed

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By *eyond PurityCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

I don’t look enviously at other men, as I’m comfortable with my body, however I see them as inspiration.

‘If they can do then so can I’ type attitude.

I wouldn’t pick out gym fit guys for C to message if I was hung up about it

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Yeah I think it’s natural to feel like that. I think for me looking at another man in an inspirational sense like in the gym for example, wishing I had arms like him or a chest like that etc

Do u think this topic is taboo tho between guys? X

If my question makes any sense ?

In a way I suppose it is where we don’t directly say it to each other or talk about it too much, maybe just the odd comment

I figured it could be that x x

It’d be sooo funny to hear two guys go:

A: Dude, I wish I had ur chiselled jaw

B: Oh thanks bro, i was thinking the same about ur muscly quads

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By *uitednbooted2Man
over a year ago

Berkshire

I think it’s an age / maturity thing OP , when I was a young guy in my twenties I was more insecure about how I looked, now I am totally comfortable with how I look.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Okay so was speaking to my brother’s girlfriend the other day, and she’s truly gorgeous.

Anyway, She kept going on about how she likes my figure (like why??) and wished she had my ass (wondering how many squats I do, answer is 0 , she couldn’t believe it

) as she feels hers is too big and she’s conscious.

While I genuinely did wish I had her bum, cos her waist to ass ratio was definitely more visible than mine making her have that sexy curvy body… stunner!! I’d have swapped there and then

And also, super curious…

do men also feel like they constantly naturally compare to other men and wish they had more of someone else?

How intense is this feeling for men?

Thoughts please

As a 5’9 guy with an average penis, seeing some of the requirements women set on here, I can tell you the desire for more is fairly intense "

But do you feel like you pick pieces from others and wish u kinda could swap?

If this makes any sense …

Lol low key feel personally attacked at ur requirements comment

not intentional btw for most I guess?

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By *luebell888Woman
over a year ago

Glasgowish

"I think it’s an age / maturity thing OP , when I was a young guy in my twenties I was more insecure about how I looked, now I am totally comfortable with how I look. "

Totally agree with this. I have learnt to accept myself over the years. I will never be perfect so embrace what I have.

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By *uitednbooted2Man
over a year ago

Berkshire

"I think it’s an age / maturity thing OP , when I was a young guy in my twenties I was more insecure about how I looked, now I am totally comfortable with how I look.

Totally agree with this. I have learnt to accept myself over the years. I will never be perfect so embrace what I have."

You are amazing btw.

And the other thing I’m quite pleased about at my age is that I find women in an around my age the most attractive. I’m so pleased I’m not one of those guys that gets old and is still only attracted to only young women

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes, it's real

My body shape isn't how I'd like it to be, an element of that being true and an element of it being dysmorphic

I look at guys and think you've got the body I'd like

I wonder what it would be like to be taller, would I be more popular, would I be treated differently?

All that said, I can't beat genetics, my family (on the whole) is short and on the heavy side

Years of stress and comfort eating have taken their toll on my body and no amount of dieting or gymming will get my body how I want it to look, no amount of dieting and gymming will take away the feelings I harbour about how I look naked

So, at 51, I am accepting of the fact that I am short, chunky, hairy, have wobbly bits, have no hair on the top of my head, need glasses and have imperfect teeth

And all that is OK

I have made my peace with it

That doesn't mean I have 'given up', it just means that I recognise my looks and build as opposed to them being the definition of me

Life and looks aren't a competition, they're not a part of a race that any of us win

I just wish, and I mean this sincerely, that I had had this epiphany in my teens or early 20's

My experience, I think, would have been a whole lot different

So, if anything, I mourn the loss of a state of mind that I only allowed myself in later life

I know I'm not on my own in feeling this way, it's just that few will be so candid in a Forum where self presentation is given such emphasis

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I think it’s an age / maturity thing OP , when I was a young guy in my twenties I was more insecure about how I looked, now I am totally comfortable with how I look.

Totally agree with this. I have learnt to accept myself over the years. I will never be perfect so embrace what I have."

U have an amazing figure to be fair!! X

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Yes, it's real

My body shape isn't how I'd like it to be, an element of that being true and an element of it being dysmorphic

I look at guys and think you've got the body I'd like

I wonder what it would be like to be taller, would I be more popular, would I be treated differently?

All that said, I can't beat genetics, my family (on the whole) is short and on the heavy side

So, at 51, I am accepting of the fact that I am short, chunky, hairy, have wobbly bits, have no hair on the top of my head, need glasses and have imperfect teeth

And all that is OK

I have made my peace with it

That doesn't mean I have 'given up', it just means that I recognise my looks and build as opposed to them being the definition of me

Life and looks aren't a competition, they're not a part of a race that any of us win

I just wish, and I mean this sincerely, that I had had this epiphany in my teens or early 20's

My experience, I think, would have been a whole lot different

So, if anything, I mourn the loss of a state of mind that I only allowed myself in later life

I know I'm not on my own in feeling this way, it's just that few will be so candid in a Forum where self presentation is given such emphasis

Thanks for sharing this!! And I send you a big hug and tell you that I understand what you mean, completely xx

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By *ockosaurusMan
over a year ago

Warwick

Yes, every Torso Tuesday.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Or at least it seems more common in women as I constantly hear. I wish I had this more like that woman, or I wish that I had less of that like that other woman

Hmmm

It’s very common in men too

I don’t think anyone, man or woman is completely happy with their body (that’s why gyms are so popular)

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By *illingVicMan
over a year ago

Sevenoaks

"Yes, it's real

My body shape isn't how I'd like it to be, an element of that being true and an element of it being dysmorphic

I look at guys and think you've got the body I'd like

I wonder what it would be like to be taller, would I be more popular, would I be treated differently?

All that said, I can't beat genetics, my family (on the whole) is short and on the heavy side

So, at 51, I am accepting of the fact that I am short, chunky, hairy, have wobbly bits, have no hair on the top of my head, need glasses and have imperfect teeth

And all that is OK

I have made my peace with it

That doesn't mean I have 'given up', it just means that I recognise my looks and build as opposed to them being the definition of me

Life and looks aren't a competition, they're not a part of a race that any of us win

I just wish, and I mean this sincerely, that I had had this epiphany in my teens or early 20's

My experience, I think, would have been a whole lot different

So, if anything, I mourn the loss of a state of mind that I only allowed myself in later life

I know I'm not on my own in feeling this way, it's just that few will be so candid in a Forum where self presentation is given such emphasis

Profound and beautiful, mate

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yes, it's real

My body shape isn't how I'd like it to be, an element of that being true and an element of it being dysmorphic

I look at guys and think you've got the body I'd like

I wonder what it would be like to be taller, would I be more popular, would I be treated differently?

All that said, I can't beat genetics, my family (on the whole) is short and on the heavy side

So, at 51, I am accepting of the fact that I am short, chunky, hairy, have wobbly bits, have no hair on the top of my head, need glasses and have imperfect teeth

And all that is OK

I have made my peace with it

That doesn't mean I have 'given up', it just means that I recognise my looks and build as opposed to them being the definition of me

Life and looks aren't a competition, they're not a part of a race that any of us win

I just wish, and I mean this sincerely, that I had had this epiphany in my teens or early 20's

My experience, I think, would have been a whole lot different

So, if anything, I mourn the loss of a state of mind that I only allowed myself in later life

I know I'm not on my own in feeling this way, it's just that few will be so candid in a Forum where self presentation is given such emphasis

Great answer

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By * Sophie xTV/TS
over a year ago

Derby

I get it on both fronts Kylie, when I'm just a regular guy I sometimes wish inwas a bit more in shape and not your average dad bid although I wouldn't want to be ripped either as I just wouldn't want to bother with all the gym work and upkeep.

The other side of it is I wish I had curvier hips, arse and thighs sometimes too.

It's a balancing act but I don't think it bothers me enough to put the effort in to achieve either as it would change how I feel about the flip side.

I am however a lot more at ease with how I look either way after spending time in clubs both as Sophie and as a guy dressed down, you see alsorts of people and they look happy so I have learned to accept myself as I am.

Also learning that they likely judge me as much as I judge them is freeing for yourself too as I know that I and they most likely don't give a toss as long as they're all nice people living happy lives

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By *isspurplechesterWoman
over a year ago

Chester

I realised this last night funnily enough too! I was scrolling through a local search for ladies and stopped when I saw my picture, I was just about to click on the profile then realised it was me! Yes I felt a bit of an idiot after haha, bizarre considering how critical I am of my own body!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yeah I think it’s natural to feel like that. I think for me looking at another man in an inspirational sense like in the gym for example, wishing I had arms like him or a chest like that etc

Do u think this topic is taboo tho between guys? X

If my question makes any sense ?

In a way I suppose it is where we don’t directly say it to each other or talk about it too much, maybe just the odd comment

I figured it could be that x x

It’d be sooo funny to hear two guys go:

A: Dude, I wish I had ur chiselled jaw

B: Oh thanks bro, i was thinking the same about ur muscly quads

Hahahaha that made me laugh!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Okay so was speaking to my brother’s girlfriend the other day, and she’s truly gorgeous.

Anyway, She kept going on about how she likes my figure (like why??) and wished she had my ass (wondering how many squats I do, answer is 0 , she couldn’t believe it

) as she feels hers is too big and she’s conscious.

While I genuinely did wish I had her bum, cos her waist to ass ratio was definitely more visible than mine making her have that sexy curvy body… stunner!! I’d have swapped there and then

And also, super curious…

do men also feel like they constantly naturally compare to other men and wish they had more of someone else?

How intense is this feeling for men?

Thoughts please

For me I do wish I had a flat stomach like other men. I probably spend more time looking at women wishing I was them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Okay so was speaking to my brother’s girlfriend the other day, and she’s truly gorgeous.

Anyway, She kept going on about how she likes my figure (like why??) and wished she had my ass (wondering how many squats I do, answer is 0 , she couldn’t believe it

) as she feels hers is too big and she’s conscious.

While I genuinely did wish I had her bum, cos her waist to ass ratio was definitely more visible than mine making her have that sexy curvy body… stunner!! I’d have swapped there and then

And also, super curious…

do men also feel like they constantly naturally compare to other men and wish they had more of someone else?

How intense is this feeling for men?

Thoughts please

I’m personally not happy with the way I look and I see other guys who are more well built or toned more and I think I can get there just need to motivate and diet myself better.

Also you have a great bum

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By *elshkinkyMan
over a year ago

south wales

I don’t tend to compare and I feel I’m in decent shape for my age… I was having this conversation recently about having bad carpets in your house (yes I’m that exciting) …. For me we look at ourselves and our possessions sometimes with a critical eye… while others will see the whole package and don’t concentrate on specific points…. If that makes sense… we all have thing we don’t like about ourselves

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I don’t tend to compare and I feel I’m in decent shape for my age… I was having this conversation recently about having bad carpets in your house (yes I’m that exciting) …. For me we look at ourselves and our possessions sometimes with a critical eye… while others will see the whole package and don’t concentrate on specific points…. If that makes sense… we all have thing we don’t like about ourselves

I totally agree about the critical eye … I’m my worst critic for sure

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By *wisted999Man
over a year ago

North Bucks

I admire a good hairline.

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By *host63Man
over a year ago

Bedfont Feltham

"Okay so was speaking to my brother’s girlfriend the other day, and she’s truly gorgeous.

Anyway, She kept going on about how she likes my figure (like why??) and wished she had my ass (wondering how many squats I do, answer is 0 , she couldn’t believe it

) as she feels hers is too big and she’s conscious.

While I genuinely did wish I had her bum, cos her waist to ass ratio was definitely more visible than mine making her have that sexy curvy body… stunner!! I’d have swapped there and then

And also, super curious…

do men also feel like they constantly naturally compare to other men and wish they had more of someone else?

How intense is this feeling for men?

Thoughts please

Personally I don't get a negative body image though I do wish atbthe moment I was a little bit fitter. I did sports most of my life so I havnt sufferd to badly.

However I am profoundly deaf and wear cochlear implants and I do get stared at sometimes. Also finds it puts a lot of women off on here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do think this is a bit of a woman problem wish it wasn’t but that’s my observation over the years. I know my wife, who I think is gorgeous and I see men chat her up. Well she thinks she is bigger than she actually is and doesn’t like to see herself naked, big frustration for me. Mind you I do get cock envy when I see a nude guy on the beach with a cock bigger than mine.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I read recently that GenX people (41-56) are much more critical of their bodies than younger generations. I'm quite astounded at the body positivity I come across at times. The acceptance and ability to find bodies of all sizes and types beautiful. I love when I come across it and wish that I could feel that way.

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By *ily WhiteWoman
over a year ago

The thing is, nobody is perfect.

I'm lucky that I have a natural hourglass figure. Could I be slimmer and firmer? Absolutely...but I have been in the past and I really don't like how being slim makes my face look, I just think my face looks better when I carry a bit more weight. I accept and embrace my body as it is...if I was that bothered I'd change the parts that I'm capable of changing, but there are certain things that just are and can't be changed, and embracing them is the best way for me.

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By *lectrumMan
over a year ago

south shields

Never compared myself with anyone I am who I am and I’m happy in my own skin.what makes me cringe is blokes going through cosmetic surgery to change parts of themselves like penis enlargement,six pack implants pec implants etc that’s just wrong wrong wrong

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

I don't find myself envious of other women's bodies. I can appreciate them but yes, there's not a single woman on here or outside of Fab where I think, I wish I looked like her or have that feature of hers (bar hair, I definitely have hair envy and wish I had more European locks than the mixed race 'fro I have!). I think people, not just women, compare themselves and are hard on who they are. It's not surprising given that women (and men) are taught it's a competition.

I do wish I was slimmer and that's something I'm working on. Not because I want to look like others but because I want to be healthier, more comfortable and confident than I am currently. In my head if I get down to a perfect 14 than I'll be desirable, attractive etc. Not if I look like another.

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