FabSwingers.com forum: Would you….

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Would you give yourself over totally during a first meet, after only having met socially once? I’m talking blindfold, restraints and the use of toys? Or would you rather this kind of meet happen 2,3 or 4 meets down the line?

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

Trust is everything in that type of scenario.

Some people like to play with the danger aspect, such as with the ‘stranger’ dynamic but to my mind it takes a strong connection to do that straight at the start

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By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

No, not a chance.

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By *adyBugsWoman
over a year ago

cognito

Nope I tried it once and it only led to a toxic dynamic that took years to heal from.

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

Possibly a bit old fashioned in my thinking! But I’ve rather be made to wait , more likely to develop something good over time

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By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester

I have done once and it was incredible. But that was a total exception I doubt id repeat.

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

Not a chance on a first meet nooooooooo

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

You can do that meet one if it is what you are both looking for, but inclusion of restraints comes with trust and not something I’d agree to in early meets. Sitting on your hands works just as well

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"Would you give yourself over totally during a first meet, after only having met socially once? I’m talking blindfold, restraints and the use of toys? Or would you rather this kind of meet happen 2,3 or 4 meets down the line?

No. And what is more........ I have double standards cos Pervy Pete wouldn't let me tie his ankles to the makeshift stuff i'd made in the loft with broom poles...

( true story )

There's no way I'd let a bloke restrain me if I didn't know him well.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

or even if I knew him very well......

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

2,3 or 4 years maybe

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

Probably not. I do get/understand why it could be appealing for some but I wouldn't find it arousing so early on, I'd feel uncomfortable and unable to relax.

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By *ily WhiteWoman
over a year ago

It completely depends on the dynamics. I have once, but that was a meet for a particular kind of scene, had been discussed thoroughly beforehand, and discussed even further in person at the start of the meet.

Ordinarily when I was meeting, not a hope in hells chance...but then it wouldn't have happened at any point with a "normal" meet because it's not generally my thing.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"No, not a chance."

Build up to it with someone ?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Nope I tried it once and it only led to a toxic dynamic that took years to heal from. "

Was that due to abuse of trust?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I have done once and it was incredible. But that was a total exception I doubt id repeat. "

Leave on a high rather than risk the second time not living up to expectations?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"You can do that meet one if it is what you are both looking for, but inclusion of restraints comes with trust and not something I’d agree to in early meets. Sitting on your hands works just as well "

All about the trust

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I couldn't do that, even with a long term partner

I freak out at the merest thought of being under someone elses control

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By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

"No, not a chance.

Build up to it with someone ? "

Absolutely. I would need to feel and have complete trust in someone to allow it to happen.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Do you feel it’s something for a regular who you build up to?

No. And what is more........ I have double standards cos Pervy Pete wouldn't let me tie his ankles to the makeshift stuff i'd made in the loft with broom poles...

( true story )

There's no way I'd let a bloke restrain me if I didn't know him well. "

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Probably not. I do get/understand why it could be appealing for some but I wouldn't find it arousing so early on, I'd feel uncomfortable and unable to relax."

And relaxing & comfortable is how it should be

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"It completely depends on the dynamics. I have once, but that was a meet for a particular kind of scene, had been discussed thoroughly beforehand, and discussed even further in person at the start of the meet.

Ordinarily when I was meeting, not a hope in hells chance...but then it wouldn't have happened at any point with a "normal" meet because it's not generally my thing. "

Again it’s down to the understanding and trust

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"No, not a chance.

Build up to it with someone ?

Absolutely. I would need to feel and have complete trust in someone to allow it to happen."

Makes total sense…. I assume you wouldn’t ever feel that comfortable so early on?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Are there levels on a first meet that you set? Cut off points?

No "

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By *gent CoulsonMan
over a year ago

Secret hideaway in the pennines

Absolutely not on a first meet, I have only done it twice, and that was after a couple of months of regular meets, it's all about trust and respect

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By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester

"I have done once and it was incredible. But that was a total exception I doubt id repeat.

Leave on a high rather than risk the second time not living up to expectations? "

It was someone I ended up spending over a year with.. but he was an exception in terms of knowledge and trust

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I have done once and it was incredible. But that was a total exception I doubt id repeat.

Leave on a high rather than risk the second time not living up to expectations?

It was someone I ended up spending over a year with.. but he was an exception in terms of knowledge and trust

Makes total sense

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By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

"No, not a chance.

Build up to it with someone ?

Absolutely. I would need to feel and have complete trust in someone to allow it to happen.

Makes total sense…. I assume you wouldn’t ever feel that comfortable so early on? "

It takes a while to earn my trust x

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By *riar BelisseWoman
over a year ago

Delightful Bliss

No way hosè my risk taking years ended when I had kids...

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

No chance. But I never “give myself over” anyway.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not a cat in hells chance, I have to trust a person totally to even try some of that x

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By *sBlueWoman
over a year ago

Up North

No way

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have this after a social meet and on first meet too. But texting daily for weeks and phone calls. A LOT of talking.

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By *adyBugsWoman
over a year ago

cognito

"Nope I tried it once and it only led to a toxic dynamic that took years to heal from.

Was that due to abuse of trust? "

Yes. You can’t have that level of trust in a person without building a proper relationship dynamic. I was naive, keen to experiment and not knowledgable in the red flags of abusive relationships at the time as I think many people a. I learned it all the hard way.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"No chance. But I never “give myself over” anyway. "

I don’t mean in a sub/Dom way I just meant in a let go

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

This is exactly what I meant

I have this after a social meet and on first meet too. But texting daily for weeks and phone calls. A LOT of talking. "

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By *ilverjagMan
over a year ago

swansea

It did happen once! And for a change I was the one who was nervous because, I didn't really know what I was letting myself in for. We are still in contact, and the lady pops up on here between relationships, and I verify her. She told me afterwards though that it only happened because, my name had cropped up as being a very safe guy to play with, at an all girls social.

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By *indergirlWoman
over a year ago

somewhere, someplace

I've done it before, but a huge amount of trust was built before hand and it was something that was agreed on that would happen. So there was no unexpected surprise.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I've done it before, but a huge amount of trust was built before hand and it was something that was agreed on that would happen. So there was no unexpected surprise."

Makes sense to talk it through

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

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