FabSwingers.com forum: Your Best joke ever…

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Here’s mine,

I went to the doctors the other day.

he said “how can I help?”

I said “I feel like I’m a pig.”

Doctor asked me “how long have I felt like this”so I told him,

“About a weeeeeeeeek.”

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By * Sophie xTV/TS
over a year ago

Derby

As told by a gay friend of mine a few years ago,

I've got a great joke....hang on hang on....

Here it comes (while he was in fits of laughter)

MEN!!!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *lbinoGorillaMan
over a year ago

Redditch

My favourite is did you hear about the guy who drowned in a bowl of muesli?

He was dragged under by a strong currant

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do you call a bloke that wears paper trousers ?

Russell

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lionel Messi chats a woman up in a bar, asks her to go back to his place for some fun.

Woman says "ooo...you're a little forward"

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Whats orange and sounds like a parrot?

A carrot!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hewaterMan
over a year ago

Leamington spa

i arranged a surprise bukakke party for my wife.

everyone came

you should have seen her face

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"i arranged a surprise bukakke party for my wife.

everyone came

you should have seen her face "

Bravo sir hahaha!!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ussexualMan
over a year ago

Brighton

I was arranging a meet the other day, they wanted sex in a multi storey car park, but to me it just felt wrong on so many levels

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ack688Man
over a year ago

abruzzo Italy (and UK)

My favourite one liner was by Bob Monkhouse.

People laughed at me when I said I was going to be a comedian! Well they’re not laughing now!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Picked up a girl In my cab last week .. she said just had my eyebrows done what you think.

I said they are a bit high !!

She looked surprised

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *naquest321Man
over a year ago

Carlisle

A guy hooks up with a girl at a party and they start to kiss. Hardly started, when he pulls back and says “ your mouth tastes like the bottom of a bird cage” With which she replies, “well it’s had a Cock-a-too in it”

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *kaythen07Man
over a year ago

Chelmsford

"Give it to me! Give it to me!" she yelled. "I'm so wet, give it to me now!" She could scream all she wanted, but I was keeping the umbrella.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *kaythen07Man
over a year ago

Chelmsford

Why did the sperm cross the road?

Because I put on the wrong sock this morning

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sweet Caroline is a song about gay Germans:

Hanz touching Hanz, reaching Kraut, touching me, touching Uwe.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So a man comes home from work and confronts his wife

“Ive had it on good authority our milkman has had sexual relations with every woman on this street except one”

His wife looks wistfully out of the window and replies

“Yeah, dont worry love, it will be that stuck up cow next door but one”

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *nliveneTV/TS
over a year ago

Selby

I'm boring

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The people in dubai dont know about the flinstones but those in Abu Dhabi do

your welcome ...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ueenbee77Woman
over a year ago

Rotherham

What's the difference between a fridge and a fanny? The fridge doesn't fart when you pull the meat out

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rambuie100Man
over a year ago

essex/suffolk border

Teacher stands in front of a class of 8 year olds

“ Ok children if you can answer this question, you can have monday off. How many litres of water in the English Channel ? “

Little johnnies hand goes straight up “ 8 billion Miss !”, sorry Johnnie not correct.

Next week the same happens “ how many grains of sand in the Sahara “

Whoosh !! Little johnnies hand flies up. “ 55 trillion miss “

Sorry johnnie, wrong again.

He swears revenge !!

Next week the teacher goes to write a question on the blackboard. Quick as a flash, johnny whips out 2 ping pong balls and throws them at the teacher.

She spins round angrily “ who is the comedian with the white balls ??”

Little johnnie calls out “ Mickey Flannigan miss, see you Tuesday “

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ilverjagMan
over a year ago

swansea

The one question where even Alexa gets the answer wrong!

What is the slowest moving creature on the planet?

Alexa replies, "A sloth"

Wrong! The slowest moving creature on the planet is nudist climbing through a barbed wire fence!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have a Muslim friend. He doesn’t eat pork but he loves Islam

(Best said in a Yorkshire accent)

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What’s white and can’t climb tress? A fridge

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *olgateMan
over a year ago

on the road to nowhere in particular

"What’s white and can’t climb tress? A fridge "

What’s a tress?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *immyinreadingMan
over a year ago

henley on thames

"i arranged a surprise bukakke party for my wife.

everyone came

you should have seen her face "

Outstanding!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rAitchMan
over a year ago

Diagonally Parked in a Parallel Universe

I walked into a room one day and caught my grandma sucking my grandad's cock.

"Ugh, that's disgusting", I thought to myself. "It should have been cremated with the rest of him".

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *orksRockerMan
over a year ago

Bradford

Two fish in a tank and one says to the other....

"Do you know how to drive this?"

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By * and M lookingCouple
over a year ago

Worcester

I sat in the queue for fuel for an hour yesterday.

When I finally got to the pump, I got all emotional and started filling up.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Lionel Messi chats a woman up in a bar, asks her to go back to his place for some fun.

Woman says "ooo...you're a little forward""

I like that..

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Picked up a girl In my cab last week .. she said just had my eyebrows done what you think.

I said they are a bit high !!

She looked surprised

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"The people in dubai dont know about the flinstones but those in Abu Dhabi do

your welcome ..."

Get your coat taxi on the way,

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I walked into a room one day and caught my grandma sucking my grandad's cock.

"Ugh, that's disgusting", I thought to myself. "It should have been cremated with the rest of him"."

Haaaahahahaha that’s the kinda joke I like.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I sat in the queue for fuel for an hour yesterday.

When I finally got to the pump, I got all emotional and started filling up.

Topical…..

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Keep em coming,

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never going to an “open mic night “ again

One autopsy is enough

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is it solipsitic in here, or is it just me?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I went to an archeology party last week where everyone was looking for the remains of a lower leg. It was quite the shindig

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread