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Mutual needs

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By *tressfree OP   Man
over a year ago

Northampton

Does anyone else find that they are considered time wasters because they think they should have some say in a meet?

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By *luebell888Woman
over a year ago

Glasgowish

No

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

I'm considered a time waster because I want to have some say in whether I'm meeting or not.... does that count?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I dont understand what you mean to be honest.

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By *ustfortheforumsWoman
over a year ago

no

It depends....

For me a time waster is someone who arranges a meet then cancels at short notice or after I have gotten ready, if they are relying on you to set anything, then that’s kinda stupid

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

What do you mean?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Eh

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Does anyone else find that they are considered time wasters because they think they should have some say in a meet? "

Let me guess. A couple or woman made demands on what they want from you. You said that's not what you want (as is your right)

.. they got huffy and called you a timewaster.

Just ignore them.

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By *tressfree OP   Man
over a year ago

Northampton

I've been given the opportunity to meet someone. They suggested a meeting place. I said I prefer not. And asked for an alternative. I was told I was a time waster and to forget it! Its the "my way or no way" I object to!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've been given the opportunity to meet someone. They suggested a meeting place. I said I prefer not. And asked for an alternative. I was told I was a time waster and to forget it! Its the "my way or no way" I object to!

"

If it is a single woman there may be a very valid reason as to why she wanted to meet at a specific place rather then somewhere you suggest.

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By *imbobaMan
over a year ago

Glasgow


"Does anyone else find that they are considered time wasters because they think they should have some say in a meet? "

Yes if you keep changing your mind about when, where or the nature of the meet. That constant shifting of goal posts could be considered time wasting if the meet is no longer appealing to the other party.

Is that what you mean OP?

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford


"I've been given the opportunity to meet someone. They suggested a meeting place. I said I prefer not. And asked for an alternative. I was told I was a time waster and to forget it! Its the "my way or no way" I object to!

"

Seems bit unfair! It has to b a mutual agreement for both parties x

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By *tressfree OP   Man
over a year ago

Northampton


"Does anyone else find that they are considered time wasters because they think they should have some say in a meet?

Yes if you keep changing your mind about when, where or the nature of the meet. That constant shifting of goal posts could be considered time wasting if the meet is no longer appealing to the other party.

Is that what you mean OP?"

Not what I said at all. Actually it was they who moved the goalposts on previous occasions. I'm not sure where you got your interpretation from?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes , unfortunately you'll find quite a bit of that on here, nevermind just be glad you dodged a (needy) bullet and move on

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By *izzy.miss.lizzyCouple
over a year ago

Pembrokeshire


"It depends....

For me a time waster is someone who arranges a meet then cancels at short notice or after I have gotten ready, if they are relying on you to set anything, then that’s kinda stupid "

we have to cancel meets at short notice sometimes but it's never intended to cause offense, life is like that sometimes, health matters or transport issues happen, harsh to judge when you can't always understand the challenges.

As to the OP, not sure what you mean, but if I am going to a meet I like to make sure it will be ok so I smooth out the details first... can't see anything wrong with trying to do that? Or have I got hold of the wrong end of your stick???

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've been given the opportunity to meet someone. They suggested a meeting place. I said I prefer not. And asked for an alternative. I was told I was a time waster and to forget it! Its the "my way or no way" I object to!

Seems bit unfair! It has to b a mutual agreement for both parties x"

Have you considered it is safer to meet where you decide rather than where the man decides? so no it doesn't have to be beneficial it has to feel safe.

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By *tressfree OP   Man
over a year ago

Northampton


"I've been given the opportunity to meet someone. They suggested a meeting place. I said I prefer not. And asked for an alternative. I was told I was a time waster and to forget it! Its the "my way or no way" I object to!

Seems bit unfair! It has to b a mutual agreement for both parties x"

Exactly

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By *tressfree OP   Man
over a year ago

Northampton


"I've been given the opportunity to meet someone. They suggested a meeting place. I said I prefer not. And asked for an alternative. I was told I was a time waster and to forget it! Its the "my way or no way" I object to!

Seems bit unfair! It has to b a mutual agreement for both parties x

Have you considered it is safer to meet where you decide rather than where the man decides? so no it doesn't have to be beneficial it has to feel safe. "

I totally agree, safety is paramount. Many on here swing secretly. Not everywhere is ideal to secure that for them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've been given the opportunity to meet someone. They suggested a meeting place. I said I prefer not. And asked for an alternative. I was told I was a time waster and to forget it! Its the "my way or no way" I object to!

So my point stands actually I will always say where we're meeting if the guy doesn't like it when he doesn't meet me it's as simple as that I dont see how that is being demanding.

Seems bit unfair! It has to b a mutual agreement for both parties x

Have you considered it is safer to meet where you decide rather than where the man decides? so no it doesn't have to be beneficial it has to feel safe.

I totally agree, safety is paramount. Many on here swing secretly. Not everywhere is ideal to secure that for them. "

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By *tressfree OP   Man
over a year ago

Northampton

I guess what I'm saying is, that I come across people who embark on a chat giving the indication that I am what they are looking for. Give me a lot of terms and more or less say" want to meet us/me that's it. Sod your needs .

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By *ustfortheforumsWoman
over a year ago

no


"It depends....

For me a time waster is someone who arranges a meet then cancels at short notice or after I have gotten ready, if they are relying on you to set anything, then that’s kinda stupid

we have to cancel meets at short notice sometimes but it's never intended to cause offense, life is like that sometimes, health matters or transport issues happen, harsh to judge when you can't always understand the challenges.

As to the OP, not sure what you mean, but if I am going to a meet I like to make sure it will be ok so I smooth out the details first... can't see anything wrong with trying to do that? Or have I got hold of the wrong end of your stick???

"

I understand life gets in the way, but when I have been talking to them for months and months, and then I message them in the morning saying still up for it, and either get no reply, or I’m blocked. Not really fair is it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I guess what I'm saying is, that I come across people who embark on a chat giving the indication that I am what they are looking for. Give me a lot of terms and more or less say" want to meet us/me that's it. Sod your needs . "

But then if they make it clear what they are looking for and you aren't happy with that then surely you wouldn't take it any further, Because that would make it clear to me that they are not what I was looking for.

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By *tressfree OP   Man
over a year ago

Northampton


"It depends....

For me a time waster is someone who arranges a meet then cancels at short notice or after I have gotten ready, if they are relying on you to set anything, then that’s kinda stupid

we have to cancel meets at short notice sometimes but it's never intended to cause offense, life is like that sometimes, health matters or transport issues happen, harsh to judge when you can't always understand the challenges.

As to the OP, not sure what you mean, but if I am going to a meet I like to make sure it will be ok so I smooth out the details first... can't see anything wrong with trying to do that? Or have I got hold of the wrong end of your stick???

I understand life gets in the way, but when I have been talking to them for months and months, and then I message them in the morning saying still up for it, and either get no reply, or I’m blocked. Not really fair is it"

No it's not but we accept it. We have to.

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By *imbobaMan
over a year ago

Glasgow


"Does anyone else find that they are considered time wasters because they think they should have some say in a meet?

Yes if you keep changing your mind about when, where or the nature of the meet. That constant shifting of goal posts could be considered time wasting if the meet is no longer appealing to the other party.

Is that what you mean OP?

Not what I said at all. Actually it was they who moved the goalposts on previous occasions. I'm not sure where you got your interpretation from? "

You have clarified that since the first post which was ambiguous to me and others on the thread.

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

I have no qualms about reinforcing what it says clearly on my profile about mutual experiences.

That includes travelling.

If I'm chatting to someone who lives 2 hours away and we agree to meet I expect them to make a similar effort and we meet halfway unless I happen to be going their direction anyway.

As the first meet and possibly second meet will always without exception be a social meet its quite easy to agree on a coffee shop so safety is never an issue.

Anyone reading my profile and thinking it's all just lip service and that I will be happy to do it their way will be disappointed so does that make me a timewaster or have they wasted their own time by not reading my profile?

I've been called a timewaster because I wouldn't respond to meet me now requests and told I should be grateful as men don't really have the option of choosing on here.

I've been called one because I don't meet very often and therefore I'm just taking up valuable server space on here.

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford


"I've been given the opportunity to meet someone. They suggested a meeting place. I said I prefer not. And asked for an alternative. I was told I was a time waster and to forget it! Its the "my way or no way" I object to!

Seems bit unfair! It has to b a mutual agreement for both parties x

Have you considered it is safer to meet where you decide rather than where the man decides? so no it doesn't have to be beneficial it has to feel safe. "

Didnt suggest an unsafe place I said a mutual agreement that feels ok for both parties! X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've been given the opportunity to meet someone. They suggested a meeting place. I said I prefer not. And asked for an alternative. I was told I was a time waster and to forget it! Its the "my way or no way" I object to!

Seems bit unfair! It has to b a mutual agreement for both parties x

Have you considered it is safer to meet where you decide rather than where the man decides? so no it doesn't have to be beneficial it has to feel safe.

Didnt suggest an unsafe place I said a mutual agreement that feels ok for both parties! X"

But that's the point it's not mutual if one person doesn't want to do it which is what the person he was meeting told him.

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford


"I've been given the opportunity to meet someone. They suggested a meeting place. I said I prefer not. And asked for an alternative. I was told I was a time waster and to forget it! Its the "my way or no way" I object to!

Seems bit unfair! It has to b a mutual agreement for both parties x

Have you considered it is safer to meet where you decide rather than where the man decides? so no it doesn't have to be beneficial it has to feel safe.

Didnt suggest an unsafe place I said a mutual agreement that feels ok for both parties! X

But that's the point it's not mutual if one person doesn't want to do it which is what the person he was meeting told him. "

Doh! Face palm! I give up!

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By *inger_SnapWoman
over a year ago

Hampshire/Dorset

So what was the issue with the meeting place?

I always prefer that men come to somewhere near me, to be safe, and usually for coffee as I don't drink and don't want anyone what getting d*unk.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've been given the opportunity to meet someone. They suggested a meeting place. I said I prefer not. And asked for an alternative. I was told I was a time waster and to forget it! Its the "my way or no way" I object to!

Seems bit unfair! It has to b a mutual agreement for both parties x

Have you considered it is safer to meet where you decide rather than where the man decides? so no it doesn't have to be beneficial it has to feel safe.

Didnt suggest an unsafe place I said a mutual agreement that feels ok for both parties! X

But that's the point it's not mutual if one person doesn't want to do it which is what the person he was meeting told him.

Doh! Face palm! I give up! "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So what was the issue with the meeting place?

I always prefer that men come to somewhere near me, to be safe, and usually for coffee as I don't drink and don't want anyone what getting d*unk."

Same here. It sounds to me he was upset that she/they wouldn't do what he wanted.

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By *tressfree OP   Man
over a year ago

Northampton


"So what was the issue with the meeting place?

I always prefer that men come to somewhere near me, to be safe, and usually for coffee as I don't drink and don't want anyone what getting d*unk.

Same here. It sounds to me he was upset that she/they wouldn't do what he wanted. "

Where do you get me being upset about her not doing what I wanted? I was expecting her to do what we BOTH wanted. Is that unreasonable?

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

Timewaster gets thrown round LOADS..

I'm a timewaster for being on a site like this when I have no intention of meeting or giving people wank fodder (apparently)

Basically a 'slur' that people use because they don't get their own way.

To me a timewaster is someone who doesn't show up for a meet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some people expect people to be sitting around all day with a face full off slap in sexy lingerie and a nice dress and heels all day long just waiting on they messages oooo and they also expect to be only person that day

Done a little expement couple off years go with this

Decided I was going to be a right 4 letter world for the day

So got up ready

First meet not a problem after that it starts becoming tubbles some

When I sed yip free for a quicky but your guy number xx to day

Some took the offer the majority were like emmm no We meet a another day when your greasy so you speak

So basically the majority what you to sit around all day ready and they’d being the only one

Sorry but if I am sitting around all day ready then you definitely not be the only one

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Yes , unfortunately you'll find quite a bit of that on here, nevermind just be glad you dodged a (needy) bullet and move on"

a needy bullet!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 28/09/21 11:32:31]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ve been called a timewasters when saying they aren’t for me, guess us guys are in expected not to have standards and just accept what offered.

I’d rather shit in my hands and clap than have a meet with somebody with a mindset and manners like that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Some people expect people to be sitting around all day with a face full off slap in sexy lingerie and a nice dress and heels all day long just waiting on they messages oooo and they also expect to be only person that day

Done a little expement couple off years go with this

Decided I was going to be a right 4 letter world for the day

So got up ready

First meet not a problem after that it starts becoming tubbles some

When I sed yip free for a quicky but your guy number xx to day

Some took the offer the majority were like emmm no We meet a another day when your greasy so you speak

So basically the majority what you to sit around all day ready and they’d being the only one

Sorry but if I am sitting around all day ready then you definitely not be the only one "

All greased up ready for the next one.

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford


"So what was the issue with the meeting place?

I always prefer that men come to somewhere near me, to be safe, and usually for coffee as I don't drink and don't want anyone what getting d*unk.

Same here. It sounds to me he was upset that she/they wouldn't do what he wanted.

Where do you get me being upset about her not doing what I wanted? I was expecting her to do what we BOTH wanted. Is that unreasonable? "

Nope that's totally acceptable and reasonable! Women shouldn't expect to call the shots as u say what suits u both! X

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