FabSwingers.com forum: Post meet blues….

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Do you get them? How do you deal with them?

I only get them if it’s been a mind blowingly good time, but id forgotten what the downer was like when the endorphins wear off. What do you do to pick yourself up?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I get them, especially if its after my regular. I take comfort in telling myself that it's not the last time and just have to wait.

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By *llaboutthewifeCouple
over a year ago

Cardiff

Been so long I can't remember

Jo x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Do you get them? How do you deal with them?

I only get them if it’s been a mind blowingly good time, but id forgotten what the downer was like when the endorphins wear off. What do you do to pick yourself up? "

Book another straight after problem solve something to look forward to

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I get them, especially if its after my regular. I take comfort in telling myself that it's not the last time and just have to wait."

I think that’s the problem, someone regular so your more fond of them as a person.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Do you get them? How do you deal with them?

I only get them if it’s been a mind blowingly good time, but id forgotten what the downer was like when the endorphins wear off. What do you do to pick yourself up?

Book another straight after problem solve something to look forward to

I tried to plan a social and then just felt bad

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

I keep busy

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Been so long I can't remember

Jo x"

Be glad, the blues suck xx

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

Just keep quiet for a few hours

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By *iamondCougarWoman
over a year ago

Norfuck! / Lincolnshire

I wouldn’t say it’s post meet blues but if it’s been a great anticipation build up before hand then yes, the day after is a tad flat

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

I don’t really get them to be honest. Just look forward to the next time

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yeah I do get them I think it’s natural especially when you’ve had such an amazing time BUT … what gets me out of that is looking forward to the next time and future meets

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I get them...i was high when i left him, but been low for a couple of weeks

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By *herry OnatopWoman
over a year ago

Just over there

I try to think of it practically. It's an endorphin drop combined with tiredness and a delicious sore ache

I pamper and sleep when I can after a meet and know that a few days later there'll be another familiar ache to replace it with

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By *urvySub87Woman
over a year ago

Near Wellingborough

3sum with Ben and Jerry's sometimes help with the blues

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I get them...i was high when i left him, but been low for a couple of weeks

Weeks? My lovely that’s longer than usual surely?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I try to think of it practically. It's an endorphin drop combined with tiredness and a delicious sore ache

I pamper and sleep when I can after a meet and know that a few days later there'll be another familiar ache to replace it with

Oh it’s absolutely endorphins, I like your way of handling it

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By *rsPricklePantsWoman
over a year ago

Room 237 at The Overlook Hotel, Suffolk

If it's with someone I've been looking forward to meeting with then I may feel the blues after but when it's been a good meet they don't last long

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When I get them I try to distract my mind with something else and knowing it's only a few days wait usually helps too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I get them, especially if its after my regular. I take comfort in telling myself that it's not the last time and just have to wait.

I think that’s the problem, someone regular so your more fond of them as a person. "

So yours is from a regular too ?

It is difficult, I got to the point of calling it off with her but then told myself I would be worse without seeing her. I do feel for you on this x

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

I used to, but if I started meeting again I'd tell myself that's not who they are, not really. That was them giving me their version of their best self that they thought I wanted.

That just like going to a gig I get bummed out when it's over after and this is no different.

Take it factually, not feeling-ly but at the same time allow myself the space to sit with those feelings and probably hate myself afterwards for allowing someone to make me feel good instead of feeling good for simply being me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I get them...i was high when i left him, but been low for a couple of weeks

Weeks? My lovely that’s longer than usual surely? "

I've been ill as well.. So just generally moping around and feeling sorry for myself

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Do you get them? How do you deal with them?

I only get them if it’s been a mind blowingly good time, but id forgotten what the downer was like when the endorphins wear off. What do you do to pick yourself up? "

Drink

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can you talk to him/her? The only way I cope is to talk to him, he lifts me out of it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do something else, create new memories so they don't matter.

Bye,.............

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

Not something I can say I’ve experienced. Every day life takes over and you just look forward to the next time, but I’m quite good at filing feelings / thoughts things away and locking the door on them so they don’t consume me.

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By *igmaMan
over a year ago

Yorkshire

More of a Skiffle kinda guy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Do you get them? How do you deal with them?

I only get them if it’s been a mind blowingly good time, but id forgotten what the downer was like when the endorphins wear off. What do you do to pick yourself up? "

Message the person again and exchange some hot text about how good it was and then if it gets particularly steamy, then we may end up exchanging pics or vids and have a play thinking about it. Then arrange the next meet

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Had them before if I get them normally go on the hunt for a instashag normal not a good cure but ooo well 2 in the one night

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By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester

Very much so and that’s very typical of the dynamic, which is why one regular person works for me that communicates well. It’s a tough one.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I imagine I’m Bridget Jones, put a dressing gown on, curl up on the sofa and eat ice cream from a tub

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

"I imagine I’m Bridget Jones, put a dressing gown on, curl up on the sofa and eat ice cream from a tub"

I do that anyway

. In fact I’m doing that now !

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By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester

"I imagine I’m Bridget Jones, put a dressing gown on, curl up on the sofa and eat ice cream from a tub

I do that anyway

. In fact I’m doing that now !"

Bollocks… rumbled. Me too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I imagine I’m Bridget Jones, put a dressing gown on, curl up on the sofa and eat ice cream from a tub

I do that anyway

. In fact I’m doing that now !"

Budge up, ffs!

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By *ink Panther.Woman
over a year ago

Preston

I’ve seen this term a lot on the forum but I struggle to understand it. If you’re a swinger surely post meet blues shouldn’t be a thing? It’s something I’d associate with a non swinger because they’re experiencing sex outside of a relationship. It could be compared to a relationship ended. I’m curious as to why a swinger would experience it.

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By *inkyInkedBiWoman
over a year ago

Yeah I sometimes get it. Then I think well we can meet again for more fun, or plan a meet with someone else I’ve chatted to, but more often than not I get ignored, used or dropped, so it makes me not want to meet at all tbh

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yeah I sometimes get it. Then I think well we can meet again for more fun, or plan a meet with someone else I’ve chatted to, but more often than not I get ignored, used or dropped, so it makes me not want to meet at all tbh "

What’s post meet?? Haha

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By *ecadent_DevonMan
over a year ago

Okehampton

I drink alcohol and pretend my life isn’t hollow

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By *indergirlWoman
over a year ago

somewhere, someplace

Talking and planning the next one helps stop it for me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’ve seen this term a lot on the forum but I struggle to understand it. If you’re a swinger surely post meet blues shouldn’t be a thing? It’s something I’d associate with a non swinger because they’re experiencing sex outside of a relationship. It could be compared to a relationship ended. I’m curious as to why a swinger would experience it."

Sub drop

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Do you get them? How do you deal with them?

I only get them if it’s been a mind blowingly good time, but id forgotten what the downer was like when the endorphins wear off. What do you do to pick yourself up? "

I never get them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think perhaps it's more common with D /s relationships - they can be quite intense

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By *TK421-Man
over a year ago

Cheltenham

It's a natural feeling. Peaks and troughs.

When you've had a good time with someone obviously you crave the endorphins again. Why wouldn't you. It's fun, exciting and all the rest....

But you have to get on with the normal grind now and put a pin in it.

Till next time

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

When I had my own place and used to see my then FWB I would always feel a bit bleurgh when he went home.

It wasn’t him I missed so much, more his presence, his energy. The house felt so still and quiet after he’d gone. That would leave me feeling a bit lonely. After a good sleep the feeling would pass.

I don’t get that these days when I meet (hotel meets), so I’m not sure what the answer is, but you’re not alone.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Do some good, nourishing things

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By *ubmissiveman2uMan
over a year ago

Cheshire

I get whats known as 'sub drop' if i have had a good meet or play.

I just look forward to the next one..

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By *ink Panther.Woman
over a year ago

Preston

Sub drop"

That I get but most aren’t a sub

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By *ockosaurusMan
over a year ago

Warwick

I feel more of a glow afterwards tbh.

A happy, warm feeling that keeps a little smile on my face for a good while.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sub drop

That I get but most aren’t a sub"

Same kind of thing though. Like having a brilliant holiday then everything feeling really shit when you get home.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sub drop

That I get but most aren’t a sub"

You go from the thrill, the excitement, the butterflies of planning and anticipating, to done, and back in the room.

It’s an anti climax I guess.

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By *olarbear73Man
over a year ago

Glasgow

I guess I deal with the downer by looking forward to the next one.

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By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet

The holiday analogy is a good one.

For me it's the acknowledgement that even after the best meet in the world it's back to the daily, mundane grind.

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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

Sub drop

That I get but most aren’t a sub"

Sub drop, Dom drop or just plain old drop can happen to anyone who experiences intense meets. It can manifest itself in several ways, and you can be someone who consistently gets it, gets it occasionally or never experiences it!

In my experience drop can appear like a persons has a hangover or is suffering from a lack of sleep. It can affect their mental health and emotional well being. They can appear off, snappy or angry for no explainable reason, and may feel alone or abandoned (especially if you don’t live with or talk to them).

During the build up to and during your meet the body's pleasure response (and pain if you are engaging in some BDSM activities) triggers a sympathetic nerve response causing a release of endorphins, enkephalins and epinephrine. These chemicals have a morphine like effect on the body, leading to a happy place that some call sub space.

These chemicals are normally released in a controlled way by your body, but if you have a sudden flood of them then as you can only replace them in a fixed rate you suffer a bit of a crash. Its the same type of response that leads addicts to finding other stimulus to keep up the happy place feeling

This lack of chemicals within the body is what leads to the drop, and its only when your body gets back to equilibrium that the feelings tend to go away.

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By *viatrixWoman
over a year ago

Redhill

"I get them...i was high when i left him, but been low for a couple of weeks

My fwb is like that now. Thing is that he doesn’t realise that lack of contact (because of being sad etc) is damaging...

We’ve been established fwbs for a couple of years, but long distance and spent a weekend together for the first time, so it’s not like it’s no contact because it was a NSA one night stand.

I’ve somehow ‘trained’ myself to not have the post meet blues ... there’s a lot heartache if you don’t.

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