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Struggling

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Hey everyone, I know this isn’t the best Avenue to say this but it’s an Avenue, …. I’m struggling massively in confidence in my general life as well as on here, no matter what I do I struggle for positivity and as I result I have no chance with woman be used in so reserved and paranoid.

I would moce some tips and any general chat

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't be so hard on yourself

Look for one thing a day you feel good about

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By *r.SJMan
over a year ago

Wellingborough


"Don't be so hard on yourself

Look for one thing a day you feel good about "

Definitely this and don't give up hope... rather than setting targets and feeling you've no chance, just work at it and count the small victories like replies on a thread.

I struggle but posted my own thread tonight and got replies... it might not be a date or acquaintance but I got noticed Just as you have here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m sorry to hear that dude have you ever read any self love affirmations? There are lists of them, I think they can really help these are just some

*All I need is within me

*This is temporary

*Everything I need will come into my life at the right time

*I am doing my best

*I will not worry about things I cannot control

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By *ed VoluptaWoman
over a year ago

Wirral.


"I’m sorry to hear that dude have you ever read any self love affirmations? There are lists of them, I think they can really help these are just some

*All I need is within me

*This is temporary

*Everything I need will come into my life at the right time

*I am doing my best

*I will not worry about things I cannot control"

That last one really helps me. X

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By *lenderfoxMan
over a year ago

Leeds

In my experience the best way to improve confidence is to push yourself out of your comfort zone. It's not always easy but it definitely makes a difference. Start with something small and build up from there

If you have a bigger issue, such as anxiety, speak to your local mental health service

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I’m sorry to hear that dude have you ever read any self love affirmations? There are lists of them, I think they can really help these are just some

*All I need is within me

*This is temporary

*Everything I need will come into my life at the right time

*I am doing my best

*I will not worry about things I cannot control

That last one really helps me. X"

Yeah it helps me a little too

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By *lenderfoxMan
over a year ago

Leeds


"I’m sorry to hear that dude have you ever read any self love affirmations? There are lists of them, I think they can really help these are just some

*All I need is within me

*This is temporary

*Everything I need will come into my life at the right time

*I am doing my best

*I will not worry about things I cannot control

That last one really helps me. X

Yeah it helps me a little too "

Agree with you both on that, learning to switch off from such things is definitely beneficial

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By *ed VoluptaWoman
over a year ago

Wirral.


"Hey everyone, I know this isn’t the best Avenue to say this but it’s an Avenue, …. I’m struggling massively in confidence in my general life as well as on here, no matter what I do I struggle for positivity and as I result I have no chance with woman be used in so reserved and paranoid.

I would moce some tips and any general chat "

Sorry to hear this.

Is this something you've always struggled with, or has something happened to cause your dip in confidence?

You seem a nice guy to me, but I appreciate that won't help you in your present state.

But I'm always happy to chat, if it'll help.

It's shite when you feel like that. But you're not on your own. Remember that xx

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By *eady_eddyMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference,

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By *arol321Woman
over a year ago

Poole


"I’m sorry to hear that dude have you ever read any self love affirmations? There are lists of them, I think they can really help these are just some

*All I need is within me

*This is temporary

*Everything I need will come into my life at the right time

*I am doing my best

*I will not worry about things I cannot control"

Another is:

I am enough

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hi OP

I hope you find all the above helpful.

I work in mental health and well-being, happy to drop you a message if you’d like - just let me know.

Trying new things and helping others can be a fantastic distraction from these intrusive thoughts. As can speaking to a professional who will not judge you.

Change or start one small thing every week and maybe come back to us and tell us what you tried.

Maybe a new walk around your neighbourhood. Perhaps try a new restaurant and go by yourself & ask the staff what they recommend. Maybe a new workout on YouTube & make a new playlist of your favourite music. You could Google Wim Hof Cold water showers and maybe try it one morning.

Just remember that every single person on fab has had some insecurity or confidence blip in the last, we’re all human.

Good luck x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hi OP

I hope you find all the above helpful.

I work in mental health and well-being, happy to drop you a message if you’d like - just let me know.

Trying new things and helping others can be a fantastic distraction from these intrusive thoughts. As can speaking to a professional who will not judge you.

Change or start one small thing every week and maybe come back to us and tell us what you tried.

Maybe a new walk around your neighbourhood. Perhaps try a new restaurant and go by yourself & ask the staff what they recommend. Maybe a new workout on YouTube & make a new playlist of your favourite music. You could Google Wim Hof Cold water showers and maybe try it one morning.

Just remember that every single person on fab has had some insecurity or confidence blip in the last, we’re all human.

Good luck x "

From someone who has had to avail of such services thank you for all you do

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By *adyBugsWoman
over a year ago

cognito


"Hi OP

I hope you find all the above helpful.

I work in mental health and well-being, happy to drop you a message if you’d like - just let me know.

Trying new things and helping others can be a fantastic distraction from these intrusive thoughts. As can speaking to a professional who will not judge you.

Change or start one small thing every week and maybe come back to us and tell us what you tried.

Maybe a new walk around your neighbourhood. Perhaps try a new restaurant and go by yourself & ask the staff what they recommend. Maybe a new workout on YouTube & make a new playlist of your favourite music. You could Google Wim Hof Cold water showers and maybe try it one morning.

Just remember that every single person on fab has had some insecurity or confidence blip in the last, we’re all human.

Good luck x "

This is such a lovely message

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hi OP

I hope you find all the above helpful.

I work in mental health and well-being, happy to drop you a message if you’d like - just let me know.

Trying new things and helping others can be a fantastic distraction from these intrusive thoughts. As can speaking to a professional who will not judge you.

Change or start one small thing every week and maybe come back to us and tell us what you tried.

Maybe a new walk around your neighbourhood. Perhaps try a new restaurant and go by yourself & ask the staff what they recommend. Maybe a new workout on YouTube & make a new playlist of your favourite music. You could Google Wim Hof Cold water showers and maybe try it one morning.

Just remember that every single person on fab has had some insecurity or confidence blip in the last, we’re all human.

Good luck x

From someone who has had to avail of such services thank you for all you do "

That’s very kind. I’d like to say a lot of us get into the line of work due to personal experience and wanting to ensure that, no one ever feels as low as we have done, in the past! Helping others is the big one!

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By *km1Man
over a year ago

Swansea

Hey Op

You can play guitar? That’s awesome man! Whatever the problem pulling you down. Feel free to pm me to chat.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You say you're struggling in general life. Is it something more specific you can point out?job, family, friends, appearance etc?

I'm only asking as not so long ago I used to suffer from anorexia. I was in a very very dark place and saw no light at the end of a tunnel. It wasn't easy but over time I realised that nobody in this world is responsible for my happiness than myself. I treated all my problems like an elephant, one teaspoon at a time. See your struggles like thousand mile journey and that each step, even though steps are small, you will be getting closer to that final mile.

Through the 24 hours, there will be at least that split second where you probably will not be thinking about your lack of confidence or negativity. Use those moments and ponder upon why..

It's all the little steps you make in your life which may seem or insignificant but has a massive positive impact later on.

Think about this very carefully, "you are one thought away from happiness".

None of us are happy 247. We all have struggles and our own demons in different ways. We have to plan how we minimise those struggles.

Don't let negativity love rent free on your head.

As for women, there is somewhere out there who will think the world of you... Just need to find her

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By *anuel ducatiMan
over a year ago

leyburn


"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference,

"

That is so profound and re-assuring, wonderful.

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By *issVanillaWoman
over a year ago

.

You play bass.. you must have some confidence to do that, I couldn't stand up & play in public.. women love men with talent, don't pull yourself down!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I’m sorry to hear that dude have you ever read any self love affirmations? There are lists of them, I think they can really help these are just some

*All I need is within me

*This is temporary

*Everything I need will come into my life at the right time

*I am doing my best

*I will not worry about things I cannot control"

I'd actually rephrase the last one. So it doesn't have word not or no in it. Positive statements are slightly better

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Trying new things and helping others can be a fantastic distraction from these intrusive thoughts. (...)

Change or start one small thing every week and maybe come back to us and tell us what you tried.

"

These two things helped me massively in the past.

Sometimes too much self focus isn't helping, but when you realise you have a lot to give to others and they start recognising it, that can be the fix to see yourself through others eyes, those acknowledging your worth and potential.

And small steps towards new approaches.. new good habits. Not everything at once.. not too much pressure but keep trying. Brave it, whatever it is. If you stay in same place, you just see world passing by, but you can be part of it too. You can get that inner kick, even if it feels bit forced and unnatural to you to start with. Happy hormones will be your best feedback.

Journaling, positive diary - write three things that made you smile that day, write anything what will challenge your usual low thoughts. That's in your control.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thank you everybody for responding it really does mean a lot to me.

There’s a lot that’s getting me down at the minute, work, home, finances and loneliness at the top of the pile. I’ve always thought I was a reasonably good looking guy but the rejections I’ve had lately has knocked me down somewhat. Been single for over 4 years now and it gets to me which is why confidence is very low.

I’ll try and utilise a lot of this advice and see if I can improve things.

Thank you all again x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Thank you everybody for responding it really does mean a lot to me.

There’s a lot that’s getting me down at the minute, work, home, finances and loneliness at the top of the pile. I’ve always thought I was a reasonably good looking guy but the rejections I’ve had lately has knocked me down somewhat. Been single for over 4 years now and it gets to me which is why confidence is very low.

I’ll try and utilise a lot of this advice and see if I can improve things.

Thank you all again x"

Everything you listed above can be looked at one step at a time - I’ve found your local resource - all the best

https://www.nhsinform.scot/scotlands-service-directory/health-and-wellbeing-services/10097%201sla1116

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Thank you everybody for responding it really does mean a lot to me.

There’s a lot that’s getting me down at the minute, work, home, finances and loneliness at the top of the pile. I’ve always thought I was a reasonably good looking guy but the rejections I’ve had lately has knocked me down somewhat. Been single for over 4 years now and it gets to me which is why confidence is very low.

I’ll try and utilise a lot of this advice and see if I can improve things.

Thank you all again x

Everything you listed above can be looked at one step at a time - I’ve found your local resource - all the best

https://www.nhsinform.scot/scotlands-service-directory/health-and-wellbeing-services/10097%201sla1116

"

Thank you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Thank you everybody for responding it really does mean a lot to me.

There’s a lot that’s getting me down at the minute, work, home, finances and loneliness at the top of the pile. I’ve always thought I was a reasonably good looking guy but the rejections I’ve had lately has knocked me down somewhat. Been single for over 4 years now and it gets to me which is why confidence is very low.

I’ll try and utilise a lot of this advice and see if I can improve things.

Thank you all again x

Everything you listed above can be looked at one step at a time - I’ve found your local resource - all the best

https://www.nhsinform.scot/scotlands-service-directory/health-and-wellbeing-services/10097%201sla1116

Thank you "

You never know OP - you could be working in a position to help others with their mental health and wellbeing in 12 months time. How would you feel if your money worries were in control, you had a new job and started a new local social group with other musicians? Maybe volunteering at a local youth centre and passing on your music knowledge? The possibilities are endless. When you are truly happy in yourself, you will attract happiness into your life. Sounds cheesy but it’s true! Please come back to us next weekend and let us know what one small thing you do this week! I look forward to hearing about it!

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By *Just meMan
over a year ago

Basingstoke


"Hi OP

I hope you find all the above helpful.

I work in mental health and well-being, happy to drop you a message if you’d like - just let me know.

Trying new things and helping others can be a fantastic distraction from these intrusive thoughts. As can speaking to a professional who will not judge you.

Change or start one small thing every week and maybe come back to us and tell us what you tried.

Maybe a new walk around your neighbourhood. Perhaps try a new restaurant and go by yourself & ask the staff what they recommend. Maybe a new workout on YouTube & make a new playlist of your favourite music. You could Google Wim Hof Cold water showers and maybe try it one morning.

Just remember that every single person on fab has had some insecurity or confidence blip in the last, we’re all human.

Good luck x "

This was nice of you to support here. Thankyou.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP, please feel free to PM me if you'd like any help in regards to maybe a new job search. I've helped a few people with CV and interview Prep who are now in better jobs.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Chin up son. Another day in paradise here.

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By *essie.Woman
over a year ago

Serendipity

OP sorry to hear you’re struggling. One piece of advice, my late Mum gave me that I often use, is that no-one else can see what is going on in your head. So, even if you’re really anxious , others don’t know that and that’s helped me to overcome it in the past.

Have you tried mindfulness apps, as they can be really useful to help you relax and refocus.

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By *elle xWoman
over a year ago

Doire Theas

I’m so sorry t hear that OP I think the biggest thing I realised while trying to gain more confidence is that it comes from within you and not from how others see you. Take time to yourself and do things that make you happy. If something bad happens and it will we all have bad days try to look for a positive in every situation and most importantly do not punish yourself for feeling this way

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By *elshkinkyMan
over a year ago

south wales

Small steps… it won’t happen over night… try and move forward a little each day… you’ll have set backs but understand this won’t be forever…

Stay strong brother

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By *elshkinkyMan
over a year ago

south wales

And learn to love yourself and you’ll invite people into your life on your terms…

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

So many nice comments and support here thanks folks! You’re all awesome

I’ve already started to try make a difference been out a good walk already this morning and got 14000 steps in, definitely helped clear my head a little

Onwards and upwards

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So many nice comments and support here thanks folks! You’re all awesome

I’ve already started to try make a difference been out a good walk already this morning and got 14000 steps in, definitely helped clear my head a little

Onwards and upwards "

Well done

Don't think ever done 14000 in a day

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So many nice comments and support here thanks folks! You’re all awesome

I’ve already started to try make a difference been out a good walk already this morning and got 14000 steps in, definitely helped clear my head a little

Onwards and upwards "

Great stuff, OP. Small steps to big change. And don't be afraid to take a Fab break when needed - we'll still be here when you return. Have a good weekend

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So many nice comments and support here thanks folks! You’re all awesome

I’ve already started to try make a difference been out a good walk already this morning and got 14000 steps in, definitely helped clear my head a little

Onwards and upwards "

That’s fab 1,400 steps would still be fab! You sound like me - all or nothing ha! Do you enjoy reading books? I don’t! But I did read Matt Haig’s Reasons to stay alive - let me know if you read it!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So many nice comments and support here thanks folks! You’re all awesome

I’ve already started to try make a difference been out a good walk already this morning and got 14000 steps in, definitely helped clear my head a little

Onwards and upwards

That’s fab 1,400 steps would still be fab! You sound like me - all or nothing ha! Do you enjoy reading books? I don’t! But I did read Matt Haig’s Reasons to stay alive - let me know if you read it!"

My brother sent me that to read

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So many nice comments and support here thanks folks! You’re all awesome

I’ve already started to try make a difference been out a good walk already this morning and got 14000 steps in, definitely helped clear my head a little

Onwards and upwards

That’s fab 1,400 steps would still be fab! You sound like me - all or nothing ha! Do you enjoy reading books? I don’t! But I did read Matt Haig’s Reasons to stay alive - let me know if you read it!

My brother sent me that to read "

Have you read it yet? I hope you enjoyed it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Always remember this...

We only have control over 2 things in life

1 what we put inside ourselves

2 what we think of ourselves

The rest we have no control so dont let that control you x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So many nice comments and support here thanks folks! You’re all awesome

I’ve already started to try make a difference been out a good walk already this morning and got 14000 steps in, definitely helped clear my head a little

Onwards and upwards

That’s fab 1,400 steps would still be fab! You sound like me - all or nothing ha! Do you enjoy reading books? I don’t! But I did read Matt Haig’s Reasons to stay alive - let me know if you read it!

My brother sent me that to read

Have you read it yet? I hope you enjoyed it. "

Did read and need to reread

Could relate to some of it

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By *entleman JayMan
over a year ago

Wakefield

Fab is not a place to improve you confidence. If you are not strong Fab will erode it.

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By *otsossieMan
over a year ago

Chesterfield


"Fab is not a place to improve you confidence. If you are not strong Fab will erode it. "

Sadly I think there is a degree of truth in this.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Fab is not a place to improve you confidence. If you are not strong Fab will erode it.

Sadly I think there is a degree of truth in this. "

I agree. Sometimes telling your closest friends you’re taking time off your phone and completing switching off all messaging & social media, including fab - even just for an afternoon or overnight, really does help your mental health. Fab’s great when you’re feeling at your best x

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By *idsCouple1Couple
over a year ago

Tamworth


"I’m sorry to hear that dude have you ever read any self love affirmations? There are lists of them, I think they can really help these are just some

*All I need is within me

*This is temporary

*Everything I need will come into my life at the right time

*I am doing my best

*I will not worry about things I cannot control"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

One step at a time, perhaps one thing at a time.

Loneliness: Work on this first and everything usually follows. The loneliness comes from within you. If you can find joy in simple brief exchanges with people, it can help.

Smile at the cashier, say good morning with a smile to strangers who give you eye contact, that sort of thing. It can bring out more smile within you and that helps. Take a deep breath and muster what positivity you can to project it outwards. You will see it begin to reflect back on you.

Don't do things with big steps. Take small ones first. Fix yourself for yourself first.

Don't look for it to work instantly. Give it a little time and be prepared for small set backs, like when someone doesn't say good morning back. That's all right. Think of the ones that smiled back. You made them smile and that's a good feeling.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How are you doing OP?

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By *hesblokeMan
over a year ago

Derbyshire village

Hope you're alright, OP - that's a sweet bass btw - what music do you play?

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