FabSwingers.com forum: Male vs Female Confidence on fab profiles

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

So.. just an observation on my part..

But I notice a lot of guys who state in their profiles that they are good looking, handsome, attractive etc..

I’ve not come across many female profiles where they state they are good looking, pretty, beautiful etc..

Is this an arrogance thing on men’s part, is it a lack of confidence, self depreciation on women’s part.

Do men genuinely believe in their looks/attractiveness more than women

Please debate

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By *acksLamentMan
over a year ago

Wales

"So.. just an observation on my part..

But I notice a lot of guys who state in their profiles that they are good looking, handsome, attractive etc..

I’ve not come across many female profiles where they state they are good looking, pretty, beautiful etc..

Is this an arrogance thing on men’s part, is it a lack of confidence, self depreciation on women’s part.

Do men genuinely believe in their looks/attractiveness more than women

Please debate

Confidence is a preference of the habitual voyeur if you take a walk straight through what is known as...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So.. just an observation on my part..

But I notice a lot of guys who state in their profiles that they are good looking, handsome, attractive etc..

I’ve not come across many female profiles where they state they are good looking, pretty, beautiful etc..

Is this an arrogance thing on men’s part, is it a lack of confidence, self depreciation on women’s part.

Do men genuinely believe in their looks/attractiveness more than women

Please debate

I mean, we speak for ourselves really without having to say anything.

You look gorg btw!!!

your latest pic is sexy and it shows.

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By *929Man
over a year ago

newcastle

I haven’t looked at men’s profiles so can only speak for self but I would never have the audacity to write that about myself. Your right though don’t see it much on women’s with the odd exception got a message out the blue once from a woman who stated how stunning she was several times in profile but only had a photo of her foot and she only messaged to accuse me of lying about my age haha

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"So.. just an observation on my part..

But I notice a lot of guys who state in their profiles that they are good looking, handsome, attractive etc..

I’ve not come across many female profiles where they state they are good looking, pretty, beautiful etc..

Is this an arrogance thing on men’s part, is it a lack of confidence, self depreciation on women’s part.

Do men genuinely believe in their looks/attractiveness more than women

Please debate

Confidence is a preference of the habitual voyeur if you take a walk straight through what is known as..."

Park Life!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So.. just an observation on my part..

But I notice a lot of guys who state in their profiles that they are good looking, handsome, attractive etc..

I’ve not come across many female profiles where they state they are good looking, pretty, beautiful etc..

Is this an arrogance thing on men’s part, is it a lack of confidence, self depreciation on women’s part.

Do men genuinely believe in their looks/attractiveness more than women

Please debate

Confidence is a preference of the habitual voyeur if you take a walk straight through what is known as..."

Dirty Pigeons, they love a bit of it.

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By *dam1971Man
over a year ago

Bedford

I don’t think it’s just a Fab thing, if you compare a woman’s CV to a man’s, his will often errr, emphasise any skills.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don’t read men’s profiles, but do men really say this, I mean come on, who says this about themselves, some things are best left unsaid ?!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Plenty of women here calling themselves pretty tho. Narcissism is the disease of the internet and isn't bound by gender.

Not saying men aren't arseholes, we are for sure.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Shit, I haven't got any self adulation in mine, I will edit forthwith;

"I'm alright, in the right light, from the right angle, I guess"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don’t read men’s profiles, but do men really say this, I mean come on, who says this about themselves, some things are best left unsaid ?!"

Yes, they really say this. (Not all men etc)

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By *inkyInkedBiWoman
over a year ago

Can’t say for males but I know for myself that I don’t feel beautiful, so wouldn’t say it.

There are a fair few men who think women are up themselves on here anyway, punching above their weight, dating to have a preference when they’re ‘not all that’ etc, so no doubt some would see it as another chance to have a go

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"So.. just an observation on my part..

But I notice a lot of guys who state in their profiles that they are good looking, handsome, attractive etc..

I’ve not come across many female profiles where they state they are good looking, pretty, beautiful etc..

Is this an arrogance thing on men’s part, is it a lack of confidence, self depreciation on women’s part.

Do men genuinely believe in their looks/attractiveness more than women

Please debate

I mean, we speak for ourselves really without having to say anything.

You look gorg btw!!!

your latest pic is sexy and it shows.

I kinda get that is women display more photos than guys.. and some of us even show our faces..

But I would never dream of describing myself as fit/attractive/pretty etc as surely it’s subjective to the viewer..

But guys be like.. oh I’m handsome/good looking etc (and 9 times out of ten I don’t personally concur) but that’s because we all have our preferences..what’s attractive to one isn’t attractive to another!

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By *acksLamentMan
over a year ago

Wales

"So.. just an observation on my part..

But I notice a lot of guys who state in their profiles that they are good looking, handsome, attractive etc..

I’ve not come across many female profiles where they state they are good looking, pretty, beautiful etc..

Is this an arrogance thing on men’s part, is it a lack of confidence, self depreciation on women’s part.

Do men genuinely believe in their looks/attractiveness more than women

Please debate

Confidence is a preference of the habitual voyeur if you take a walk straight through what is known as...

Park Life!!!!"

If I was to be serious for a change, I think some guys believe their own hype...on a personal level I am not confident at all in my attractiveness to the fairer sex,I actively avoid making any statements about my looks etc...

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By *inkyInkedBiWoman
over a year ago

"Can’t say for males but I know for myself that I don’t feel beautiful, so wouldn’t say it.

*daring

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By *lle82Woman
over a year ago

Ashford

I was in a “women in business” meeting once and they showed statistics on men and women and their behaviour when it came to selling/promoting themselves in the job market. Something like 86% of men will apply for a job even if they only have 1 of 5 “must-have” skills, this is versus 30-odd% of women who have 2-4 of those same skills.

In summary, yeah, confidence...

...

Quick, say something sexy Elle...

Ummm...tits?

Xxx

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

Women who self described as beautiful, attractive etc would garner abuse for being over confident, almost certainly.

It's been shown fairly conclusively that if you take male and female people in supervisory or management roles and use various adjectives to describe them, that the same words are taken very differently based on gender.

https://www.forbes.com/sites/miriamgrobman/2019/06/11/managers-use-different-words-to-describe-female-and-male-leaders/

I'd imagine it's much the same when describing one's appearance, personality etc.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I haven’t looked at men’s profiles so can only speak for self but I would never have the audacity to write that about myself. Your right though don’t see it much on women’s with the odd exception got a message out the blue once from a woman who stated how stunning she was several times in profile but only had a photo of her foot and she only messaged to accuse me of lying about my age haha "

I’m sure there are some women who make a statement about their attractiveness but there are definitely more men then women.

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By *lle82Woman
over a year ago

Ashford

Hear, hear.

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By *acksLamentMan
over a year ago

Wales

"Can’t say for males but I know for myself that I don’t feel beautiful, so wouldn’t say it.

You definitely do it for me...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So.. just an observation on my part..

But I notice a lot of guys who state in their profiles that they are good looking, handsome, attractive etc..

I’ve not come across many female profiles where they state they are good looking, pretty, beautiful etc..

Is this an arrogance thing on men’s part, is it a lack of confidence, self depreciation on women’s part.

Do men genuinely believe in their looks/attractiveness more than women

Please debate

I mean, we speak for ourselves really without having to say anything.

You look gorg btw!!!

your latest pic is sexy and it shows.

I kinda get that is women display more photos than guys.. and some of us even show our faces..

But I would never dream of describing myself as fit/attractive/pretty etc as surely it’s subjective to the viewer..

I don’t trust those men who blatantly call themselves handsome/good looking… like literally who said that? Their mums when they were 5 yrs old?

It’s confusing and also as you said, it’d be totally subjective and I did bump into some and thought to myself

“Good looking according to who?”

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By *ormorantMan
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

It’s a sales pitch, an advert…. It’s what the consumer thinks that matters though…

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So.. just an observation on my part..

But I notice a lot of guys who state in their profiles that they are good looking, handsome, attractive etc..

I’ve not come across many female profiles where they state they are good looking, pretty, beautiful etc..

Is this an arrogance thing on men’s part, is it a lack of confidence, self depreciation on women’s part.

Do men genuinely believe in their looks/attractiveness more than women

Please debate

I mean, we speak for ourselves really without having to say anything.

You look gorg btw!!!

your latest pic is sexy and it shows.

I kinda get that is women display more photos than guys.. and some of us even show our faces..

But I would never dream of describing myself as fit/attractive/pretty etc as surely it’s subjective to the viewer..

I’d never describe myself as handsome, good looking etc (regardless of if I am or not) it just sends the wrong signals I think.. just seems unattractive.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I don’t read men’s profiles, but do men really say this, I mean come on, who says this about themselves, some things are best left unsaid ?!"

Many many men do indeed state I’m good looking, handsome, attractive guy etc.. more often than not I don’t concur.. not because they are not just not in my eyes it’s subjective so why make a blanket statement!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think as a man on this site it is very competitive. Without a confident profile it would be very difficult to stand out so maybe that’s why it comes across as it does? Could be completely wrong but sounds like it could be true

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"So.. just an observation on my part..

But I notice a lot of guys who state in their profiles that they are good looking, handsome, attractive etc..

I’ve not come across many female profiles where they state they are good looking, pretty, beautiful etc..

Is this an arrogance thing on men’s part, is it a lack of confidence, self depreciation on women’s part.

Do men genuinely believe in their looks/attractiveness more than women

Please debate

I mean, we speak for ourselves really without having to say anything.

You look gorg btw!!!

your latest pic is sexy and it shows.

I kinda get that is women display more photos than guys.. and some of us even show our faces..

But I would never dream of describing myself as fit/attractive/pretty etc as surely it’s subjective to the viewer..

I’d never describe myself as handsome, good looking etc (regardless of if I am or not) it just sends the wrong signals I think.. just seems unattractive."

Exactly.. we may be happy in ourselves & nothing wrong with that but to make a public statement is arrogance as far as I’m concerned.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So.. just an observation on my part..

But I notice a lot of guys who state in their profiles that they are good looking, handsome, attractive etc..

I’ve not come across many female profiles where they state they are good looking, pretty, beautiful etc..

Is this an arrogance thing on men’s part, is it a lack of confidence, self depreciation on women’s part.

Do men genuinely believe in their looks/attractiveness more than women

Please debate

I mean, we speak for ourselves really without having to say anything.

You look gorg btw!!!

your latest pic is sexy and it shows.

I kinda get that is women display more photos than guys.. and some of us even show our faces..

But I would never dream of describing myself as fit/attractive/pretty etc as surely it’s subjective to the viewer..

I’d never describe myself as handsome, good looking etc (regardless of if I am or not) it just sends the wrong signals I think.. just seems unattractive.

Exactly.. we may be happy in ourselves & nothing wrong with that but to make a public statement is arrogance as far as I’m concerned."

I agree.. it’s not the most attractive trait by either sex xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I think as a man on this site it is very competitive. Without a confident profile it would be very difficult to stand out so maybe that’s why it comes across as it does? Could be completely wrong but sounds like it could be true

I agree to an extent but if you felt that you were genuinely handsome you would at least show a face pic! I get the reason for being discreet but if you’re going to state you are handsome etc back it up so we can decide.

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By *imi_RougeWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

Yeah, because their mum/man said they were!

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. So it's irrelevant really

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Shit, I haven't got any self adulation in mine, I will edit forthwith;

"I'm alright, in the right light, from the right angle, I guess"

I do that totally.. I get a compliment & go.. yeah it’s clever lighting

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

An equally good point! I guess some guys just have more confidence than the rest of us, and some of probably pure arrogance as you said

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Men think with their tools

Most women don't

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Yeah, because their mum/man said they were!

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. So it's irrelevant really "

Exactly.. we ate all beautiful to someone.. you just don’t need to state it because one person does!

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

I'm not a handsome guy, but no Munter either.

I'd prefer someone to get to know me a little and then decide for themselves if I'm worth knowing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yeah, because their mum/man said they were!

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. So it's irrelevant really

Exactly.. we ate all beautiful to someone.. you just don’t need to state it because one person does!

In the words of gok wan..

“It’s all about the confidence”

Lol

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By *etwifeandhim69Couple
over a year ago

Darlington

I say zip about my looks on my single profile. Theres a picture up. My hot take is ladies either like the look of me or they dont. Zero point me making any claims about anything. Just because my wife says I'm gorgeous dosent mean other ladies will. I accept that reality. Cant please everyone so dont try. Hopefully it's my personality that shines anyway as lady is either going to enjoy my company for all the right reasons or shes not.

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By *ersey GirlCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow

You only have to go by the amount of filtered pictures to see that woman are less confident in general

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I'm not a handsome guy, but no Munter either.

I'd prefer someone to get to know me a little and then decide for themselves if I'm worth knowing. "

Exactly.. you’re not going to state your handsome, neither will you say you’re not..

But…. Many a guy states he’s handsome/good looking… just why?

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By *929Man
over a year ago

newcastle

I’m sure there are some women who make a statement about their attractiveness but there are definitely more men then women."

I wasn’t disagreeing, I believe what you say to be correct going off what a lot of blokes are like in real life I imagine it translates to on here in a similar ratio

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By *indergirlWoman
over a year ago

somewhere, someplace

"So.. just an observation on my part..

But I notice a lot of guys who state in their profiles that they are good looking, handsome, attractive etc..

I’ve not come across many female profiles where they state they are good looking, pretty, beautiful etc..

Is this an arrogance thing on men’s part, is it a lack of confidence, self depreciation on women’s part.

Do men genuinely believe in their looks/attractiveness more than women

Please debate

On a personal note it's a confidence things as I dont see myself as any of those, just average, there are far more people in the world better looking

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

"I'm not a handsome guy, but no Munter either.

I'd prefer someone to get to know me a little and then decide for themselves if I'm worth knowing.

Exactly.. you’re not going to state your handsome, neither will you say you’re not..

But…. Many a guy states he’s handsome/good looking… just why?"

Maybe because 'we' are told our profiles ahoukdstabd out from the crowd and this is how they interpret that suggestion.

Me - I do it my way.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I say zip about my looks on my single profile. Theres a picture up. My hot take is ladies either like the look of me or they dont. Zero point me making any claims about anything. Just because my wife says I'm gorgeous dosent mean other ladies will. I accept that reality. Cant please everyone so dont try. Hopefully it's my personality that shines anyway as lady is either going to enjoy my company for all the right reasons or shes not. "

Exactly & that’s spot on.. you are you, present yourself as you & make no assumptions or claims about how others should perceive you!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Exactly & that’s spot on.. you are you, present yourself as you & make no assumptions or claims about how others should perceive you!"

Just be yourself.. even if you don’t..

People will or won’t take to you either way.

Be yourself and just understand not everyone is everyone else’s cuppa tea x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I'm not a handsome guy, but no Munter either.

I'd prefer someone to get to know me a little and then decide for themselves if I'm worth knowing.

Exactly.. you’re not going to state your handsome, neither will you say you’re not..

But…. Many a guy states he’s handsome/good looking… just why?

Maybe because 'we' are told our profiles ahoukdstabd out from the crowd and this is how they interpret that suggestion.

Me - I do it my way.

And this is the crux of it.. do us women have less self confidence.. is it biological or conditioned? Because to me you look amazing but it’s not about me saying it you it’s about how you feel..

Why do men feel more confident in singing their own praises?

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Beauty is In the eye of the beholder

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By *ingsmanMan
over a year ago

Portsmouth

Judging by my empty inbox I must be rats

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By *ily WhiteWoman
over a year ago

We don't need to say it because we all get dozens of messages every day telling us that we're the most breathtakingly gorgeous creature to ever grace this earth...even when we have no face pics up, and often when our profiles are hidden

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

"I'm not a handsome guy, but no Munter either.

I'd prefer someone to get to know me a little and then decide for themselves if I'm worth knowing.

Exactly.. you’re not going to state your handsome, neither will you say you’re not..

But…. Many a guy states he’s handsome/good looking… just why?

Maybe because 'we' are told our profiles ahoukdstabd out from the crowd and this is how they interpret that suggestion.

Me - I do it my way.

And this is the crux of it.. do us women have less self confidence.. is it biological or conditioned? Because to me you look amazing but it’s not about me saying it you it’s about how you feel..

Why do men feel more confident in singing their own praises?"

I get what you're saying. I read into people and see their inner beauty and tell them so, but it seems hard for a lady to accept genuine compliments these days.

But we will give up. We shall forever continue to spread love into the world.

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"Judging by my empty inbox I must be rats

Rats what

Uncle

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Beauty is In the eye of the beholder "

Indeed it is.. which is why it’s perfectly ok to say you are amazing & lovely gorgeous..

But.. you don’t say that as a statement about yourself!

But many men do!

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By *ingsmanMan
over a year ago

Portsmouth

Rats = hideous

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"Rats = hideous

Your gorgeous

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"We don't need to say it because we all get dozens of messages every day telling us that we're the most breathtakingly gorgeous creature to ever grace this earth...even when we have no face pics up, and often when our profiles are hidden

Well that’s just because we are

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"Beauty is In the eye of the beholder

Indeed it is.. which is why it’s perfectly ok to say you are amazing & lovely gorgeous..

But.. you don’t say that as a statement about yourself!

But many men do!"

Men do it to compete with other men

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I prefer not to encourage men in any way that will increase the amount of Mail that I already don’t have time to reply to. Lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Absolutely I do !

It’s when I talk is where the problems start !

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By *ingsmanMan
over a year ago

Portsmouth

"Rats = hideous

Your gorgeous "

Why thank you x

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

"I prefer not to encourage men in any way that will increase the amount of Mail that I already don’t have time to reply to. Lol "

No Christmas card for you then.

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"Rats = hideous

Your gorgeous

Why thank you x"

True x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don’t need to say it

As according to my mail box I am hot

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"Don’t need to say it

As according to my mail box I am hot "

True

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By *ockosaurusMan
over a year ago

Warwick

I honestly don't think it's actually to do with any real level of confidence.

I think it's more that women on here don't really need to as they will likely get messages and offers from guys, just by posting a blank profile (even if 99% of the attention will be unwanted) .

But for guys to get any attention, we need to be confident, sell ourselves and make ourselves stand out from the crowd.

So for many men, I believe stating how great they are or how good they look is there way of doing that.

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By *mily36CWoman
over a year ago

Beds (or anywhere beginning with B..!?)

"Absolutely I do !

It’s when I talk is where the problems start !

Ssshhh

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I honestly don't think it's actually to do with any real level of confidence.

I think it's more that women on here don't really need to as they will likely get messages and offers from guys, just by posting a blank profile (even if 99% of the attention will be unwanted) .

But for guys to get any attention, we need to be confident, sell ourselves and make ourselves stand out from the crowd.

So for many men, I believe stating how great they are or how good they look is there way of doing that."

What he said

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Absolutely I do !

It’s when I talk is where the problems start !

Ssshhh

Think you should PM me this every time you see me pop up on the threads

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

I think hold yer horses sunshine, I'll be the judge of whether you're attractive..... to me.

Subjective ain't it rather than fact. Yeah you'll be good looking to some folks and to others you won't, so don't be stating it as fact rather than yer own opinion.

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By *mily36CWoman
over a year ago

Beds (or anywhere beginning with B..!?)

"Absolutely I do !

It’s when I talk is where the problems start !

Ssshhh

Think you should PM me this every time you see me pop up on the threads

Heck, how busy would I be?!?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Don’t need to say it

As according to my mail box I am hot

True "

Awww thanks you so much sis so are you xxx

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"Absolutely I do !

It’s when I talk is where the problems start !

Ssshhh

Think you should PM me this every time you see me pop up on the threads

Heck, how busy would I be?!?

Very

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"Don’t need to say it

As according to my mail box I am hot

True

Awww thanks you so much sis so are you xxx"

Xxx

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By *mily36CWoman
over a year ago

Beds (or anywhere beginning with B..!?)

"Absolutely I do !

It’s when I talk is where the problems start !

Ssshhh

Think you should PM me this every time you see me pop up on the threads

Heck, how busy would I be?!?

Very

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Does the ratio of men:women create a false sense of confidence here?

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

"Absolutely I do !

It’s when I talk is where the problems start !

Ssshhh

Think you should PM me this every time you see me pop up on the threads

But that might spoil the fun

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just be yourself and hope for the best xx

We are what we are and we’ll be accepted for what we are by the people who see us for not what we arnt but for what we are.

How may are’s was that btw lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just be yourself and hope for the best xx

We are what we are and we’ll be accepted for what we are by the people who see us for not what we arnt but for what we are.

How may are’s was that btw lol "

*many

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I think hold yer horses sunshine, I'll be the judge of whether you're attractive..... to me.

Subjective ain't it rather than fact. Yeah you'll be good looking to some folks and to others you won't, so don't be stating it as fact rather than yer own opinion."

And that is exactly the point!

Yes I get guys feel they need to sell themselves but the statement of I’m handsome/good looking is a bit arrogant as far as I’m concerned. It’s totally subjective!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think hold yer horses sunshine, I'll be the judge of whether you're attractive..... to me.

Subjective ain't it rather than fact. Yeah you'll be good looking to some folks and to others you won't, so don't be stating it as fact rather than yer own opinion.

And that is exactly the point!

Yes I get guys feel they need to sell themselves but the statement of I’m handsome/good looking is a bit arrogant as far as I’m concerned. It’s totally subjective!"

True but have you seen my pics tho ?

Tell that women up top it’s going to be a hectic night

Na I’m kidding

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Does the ratio of men:women create a false sense of confidence here? "

But if that was the case women would be stating I’m beautiful, one of a kind, gorgeous etc..

Men outnumber women 100 to one.. you’d think it would be the women with false confidence based on the number of messages but it isn’t! The women are way more self deprecating and the men are like …’ I’m the most handsome best looking dude you’re ever going to meet’

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's not self confidence, it's a selling technique.

As a man you have to try ANYthing to get a women to view your profile.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Does the ratio of men:women create a false sense of confidence here?

But if that was the case women would be stating I’m beautiful, one of a kind, gorgeous etc..

The women feel it so don’t have to display it. The guys get zero attention so therefore feel they have to state it.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

"Just be yourself and hope for the best xx

We are what we are and we’ll be accepted for what we are by the people who see us for not what we arnt but for what we are.

How may are’s was that btw lol

*many"

5 are

1 aren't

Yes, I'm bored

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

"Does the ratio of men:women create a false sense of confidence here?

But if that was the case women would be stating I’m beautiful, one of a kind, gorgeous etc..

The women feel it so don’t have to display it. The guys get zero attention so therefore feel they have to state it. "

Not all women "feel" gorgeous etc. Some of us feel like walruses (the male sort) with the mobility of an octogenarian

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's not self confidence, it's a selling technique.

As a man you have to try ANYthing to get a women to view your profile. "

This lad gets it

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Does the ratio of men:women create a false sense of confidence here?

But if that was the case women would be stating I’m beautiful, one of a kind, gorgeous etc..

The women feel it so don’t have to display it. The guys get zero attention so therefore feel they have to state it. "

But I don’t think that the majority of women feel it. I’m pretty certain that most of us do not wake up in the morning and say I’m gorgeous & continue to repeat that throughout the day!

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By *lle82Woman
over a year ago

Ashford

At the end of the day, confidence is sexy on men and women.

Although...I do find I like bold confidence in a guy and subtle confidence in a woman.

So maybe that’s some kind of subconscious bias?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Does the ratio of men:women create a false sense of confidence here?

But if that was the case women would be stating I’m beautiful, one of a kind, gorgeous etc..

The women feel it so don’t have to display it. The guys get zero attention so therefore feel they have to state it.

But I don’t think that the majority of women feel it. I’m pretty certain that most of us do not wake up in the morning and say I’m gorgeous & continue to repeat that throughout the day!"

I've dated a few women that do amd they're right, but the world tends to beat confident women down so it def isn't the norm.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Does the ratio of men:women create a false sense of confidence here?

But if that was the case women would be stating I’m beautiful, one of a kind, gorgeous etc..

The women feel it so don’t have to display it. The guys get zero attention so therefore feel they have to state it.

But I don’t think that the majority of women feel it. I’m pretty certain that most of us do not wake up in the morning and say I’m gorgeous & continue to repeat that throughout the day!"

I’ve always said and thought that anyone who praises the way they look has some sort of underlying need ..

Could be wrong but I can’t understand why anyone is so “full of themselves” in that way

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

I think men are generally fairly restricted in how they talk themselves up. It's that or option 2, having cock pics or option 3. telling you to 'just ask' what you may want to know, for most of them.

Another guy did mention his Coutts bank account cheque book, on a thread yesterday, using the ploy of wealth, status or something

It can be harsh for men's self confidence here, so it's perhaps not too surprising that they resort to classic claims of good looks, putting a partners' needs first etc

What do most men do, who are average looking?

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

"Does the ratio of men:women create a false sense of confidence here?

But if that was the case women would be stating I’m beautiful, one of a kind, gorgeous etc..

The women feel it so don’t have to display it. The guys get zero attention so therefore feel they have to state it.

But I don’t think that the majority of women feel it. I’m pretty certain that most of us do not wake up in the morning and say I’m gorgeous & continue to repeat that throughout the day!

I've dated a few women that do amd they're right, but the world tends to beat confident women down so it def isn't the norm. "

I'm not confident about my looks, but I don't show it out and about. I'm confident about who I am and what I can do. I don't put much value on appearances.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd say that the majority of messages I get, he usually says he's handsome/attractive either in the message or on their profile. Unfortunately, I've found this not to be the case on the vast majority of times. Dunno if society or social media have women playing down their opinions of themselves or if we're just more modest.

At the end of the day "beauty is in the eye of the beholder"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s an interesting thread!

I felt the need to write a disclaimer on my profile - I’m short and plus size! For fear of abuse or the look of disappointment when meeting someone for the first time. You’re right - I never see women describing themselves as beautiful, pretty etc.

I have noticed men describing themselves as FUN and then sending a message with a miserable mug shot though

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I'd say that the majority of messages I get, he usually says he's handsome/attractive either in the message or on their profile. Unfortunately, I've found this not to be the case on the vast majority of times. Dunno if society or social media have women playing down their opinions of themselves or if we're just more modest.

At the end of the day "beauty is in the eye of the beholder"

I concur 110% it’s the ones who often state they are attractive are the ones I don’t find so much do.. not necessarily because they aren’t just they are not attractive/handsome to me.

Maybe I find it a hollow statement that just doesn’t need announcing..

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"It’s an interesting thread!

I have noticed men describing themselves as FUN and then sending a message with a miserable mug shot though

And that’s the thing.. many times us ladies who are wonderful, downplay ourselves (not because we should in any way shape or form)

Yet many man who are actually not all that big themselves up

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Does the ratio of men:women create a false sense of confidence here?

But if that was the case women would be stating I’m beautiful, one of a kind, gorgeous etc..

The women feel it so don’t have to display it. The guys get zero attention so therefore feel they have to state it.

Not all women "feel" gorgeous etc. Some of us feel like walruses (the male sort) with the mobility of an octogenarian

Am I the only one on here that wakes up fresh and stays that way consistently through the day ???

We already had this walrus discussion it’s hilarious it’s been brought up again here !!!

You look smashing !!

Pity that cock is covering your face tho

But I’m just nit picking now

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By *rjamesMan
over a year ago

Sheffield

I've seen plenty of couples profiles that state that both people are attractive. From this discussion it seems that these profiles were written by the male partner of the couple

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

I'm the best woman I'll be but don't broadcast it, as other women will be viewed as more of a woman than I am, by many. Ive always liked to be quietly competent in what I do in life but never bigging myself up. Most of us just get on with it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I feel that people get a bit overwhelmed when it comes to making their profile and put what they believe people will want to see, rather than being themselves.

From the way a lot of profiles are , you’d think a lot of people on fab are confident insatiable singles and couples that will tick all your boxes and clean up after

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

"Does the ratio of men:women create a false sense of confidence here?

But if that was the case women would be stating I’m beautiful, one of a kind, gorgeous etc..

The women feel it so don’t have to display it. The guys get zero attention so therefore feel they have to state it.

Not all women "feel" gorgeous etc. Some of us feel like walruses (the male sort) with the mobility of an octogenarian

Am I the only one on here that wakes up fresh and stays that way consistently through the day ???

We already had this walrus discussion it’s hilarious it’s been brought up again here !!!

You look smashing !!

Pity that cock is covering your face tho

But I’m just nit picking now "

I think you stay fresh because of the liberal application of Old Spice

Unfortunately, the doctor says that the cock over my face is a big growth and it'll take a while for the swelling to go down

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Does the ratio of men:women create a false sense of confidence here?

But if that was the case women would be stating I’m beautiful, one of a kind, gorgeous etc..

The women feel it so don’t have to display it. The guys get zero attention so therefore feel they have to state it.

Not all women "feel" gorgeous etc. Some of us feel like walruses (the male sort) with the mobility of an octogenarian

Am I the only one on here that wakes up fresh and stays that way consistently through the day ???

We already had this walrus discussion it’s hilarious it’s been brought up again here !!!

You look smashing !!

Pity that cock is covering your face tho

But I’m just nit picking now

I think you stay fresh because of the liberal application of Old Spice

Unfortunately, the doctor says that the cock over my face is a big growth and it'll take a while for the swelling to go down

Oh you cut deep !!!

“Old spice “ well played!

Na I usually just crush elderberry leafs and dollop that on !

Smells atrocious ! But compared to old spice it has to be a step up

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

more blokes than birds on fab so blokes gotta do the impressing to standout like a peacock haha

its totally different on twitter facebook insta where its the birds that do selfies day in day out not a day without another duckface selfie haha you gotta be full of yourself to that everyday i think everyone is full of themselfs to be honest these days blokes and birds different generation brought up thinking looks are everything

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By *ibonacciMan
over a year ago

hidden location

"So.. just an observation on my part..

But I notice a lot of guys who state in their profiles that they are good looking, handsome, attractive etc..

I’ve not come across many female profiles where they state they are good looking, pretty, beautiful etc..

Is this an arrogance thing on men’s part, is it a lack of confidence, self depreciation on women’s part.

Do men genuinely believe in their looks/attractiveness more than women

Please debate

I'd say that it mainly breaks down into two categories; those who are actually handsome and have the confidence and that little bit of arrogance to declare it and those with low self awareness bordering on delusion.

I'd hazard a guess that fab gets a lot of the second category

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fine line between confidence and arrogance. Those that genuinely are usually don't feel the need to brag about it.

Personally I'd rather be pleasantly surprised than disappointed.

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By *ibonacciMan
over a year ago

hidden location

"Fine line between confidence and arrogance. Those that genuinely are usually don't feel the need to brag about it.

Personally I'd rather be pleasantly surprised than disappointed.

Too much arrogance leads to ego. Ego leads to delusion. Delusion leads to the Dark Side.

Bang on though about being pleasantly surprised rather than disappointed.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Shit, I haven't got any self adulation in mine, I will edit forthwith;

"I'm alright, in the right light, from the right angle, I guess"

This describes me!!

I'm skinny and all it takes is a few push-ups to make my 'muscles' bulge. I have all of 10 minutes to snap the photos in the right light and angle before they subside!!

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By *undayTarkaMan
over a year ago

North Devon,

"So.. just an observation on my part..

But I notice a lot of guys who state in their profiles that they are good looking, handsome, attractive etc..

I’ve not come across many female profiles where they state they are good looking, pretty, beautiful etc..

Is this an arrogance thing on men’s part, is it a lack of confidence, self depreciation on women’s part.

Do men genuinely believe in their looks/attractiveness more than women

Please debate

I'd say it's the same in both genders, I've seen a lot of arrogance within female profiles, each to their own I suppose

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By *ittycenMan
over a year ago

south west

There is similar on verifications- “I fed her my massive cock” etc, always emphasising how big they are when in reality, they are strictly average.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it's more a case that Men realise they are going to struggle with the shear amount of them here, then assuming Women are likely to seek a good looking guy, they try to sell themselves.

With the popularity in Women (generally) and the huge competition for Men, it's a different game.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've also seen several couples profiles state the lady is good looking and the guy average.

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By *ermite12ukMan
over a year ago

Solihull and Brentwood

Two schools of thought for me on this:

If at least, you as bloke, don't at least think your attractive. Then who else will?

My thoughts on me: I couldn't be that fecking vain. I'm just average at best, and prefer a fun personality in a lady, over looks tbh.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe most of us, women, true to our learnt nature, years of fitting into what we are meant to be, are supposed to sit quietly waiting for compliments and validation from the gods of testosterone. Otherwise you might be accused of thousand things. You know like being a full of yourself slut why he is just cocky boy we all should forgive because that's his thing. Maybe they are just better at patting themselves on the back.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Maybe most of us, women, true to our learnt nature, years of fitting into what we are meant to be, are supposed to sit quietly waiting for compliments and validation from the gods of testosterone. Otherwise you might be accused of thousand things. You know like being a full of yourself slut why he is just cocky boy we all should forgive because that's his thing. Maybe they are just better at patting themselves on the back.

You touch on a good point and the reverse to this is Men are far less likely to be complimented, therefore they have to speak up for themselves

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You touch on a good point and the reverse to this is Men are far less likely to be complimented, therefore they have to speak up for themselves"

It's a sarcastic and exaggerated point - on purpose. To highlight stereotypes.. archetypes.. all these things hanging onto us..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think hold yer horses sunshine, I'll be the judge of whether you're attractive..... to me.

Subjective ain't it rather than fact. Yeah you'll be good looking to some folks and to others you won't, so don't be stating it as fact rather than yer own opinion.

And that is exactly the point!

Yes I get guys feel they need to sell themselves but the statement of I’m handsome/good looking is a bit arrogant as far as I’m concerned. It’s totally subjective!"

Really interesting thread. I agree with you too, I’m always a bit

when someone describes themselves as good looking/handsome. I’m very fussy about who I find good looking, so it’s very subjective.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This was interesting to read. Yes I've seen the same trend actually. Not all men of course, but quite a few profiles calling themselves good looking. Maybe it's because it's harder for guys on this site though? Like in a job interview, you have to go in and state your strengths but without looking arrogant.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This was interesting to read. Yes I've seen the same trend actually. Not all men of course, but quite a few profiles calling themselves good looking. Maybe it's because it's harder for guys on this site though? Like in a job interview, you have to go in and state your strengths but without looking arrogant. "

Tipping point on here isn't as subtle!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I feel that people get a bit overwhelmed when it comes to making their profile and put what they believe people will want to see, rather than being themselves.

From the way a lot of profiles are , you’d think a lot of people on fab are confident insatiable singles and couples that will tick all your boxes and clean up after

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm so pretty, oh so pretty, vacant ;p

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

hit the nail on the head there.. years of societal conditioning at play.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So.. just an observation on my part..

But I notice a lot of guys who state in their profiles that they are good looking, handsome, attractive etc..

I’ve not come across many female profiles where they state they are good looking, pretty, beautiful etc..

Is this an arrogance thing on men’s part, is it a lack of confidence, self depreciation on women’s part.

Do men genuinely believe in their looks/attractiveness more than women

Please debate

Not me.

I know I don't have a good body or looks, it states that fact on my profile, dad bod and average looking.

Why lie and make yourself look a fool on the rare chance you may get a meet? Be honest, it is the best policy.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I think this site is quite unusual in that men for once in their life aren’t the driving force/in control. The balance of power is not in their favour.But you would think that because of that they may actually be less arrogant.

But they do say that men are better at getting promotions & payrises.. even when they are less skilled than female colleagues. Purely because they ask and are more confident in their skills and stating so.. whilst many women are leapfrogged by guys who are not as competent because we are waiting for recognition & praise and generally possess more self doubt..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've noticed quite a few women and couples do it actually. I take it with a pinch of salt as everyone has their own preferences on what "attractive" is. It shows they're confident anyway and confidence is key.

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By *elle xWoman
over a year ago

Doire Theas

I don’t know about anyone else but most of the time I do not feel beautiful or sexy so it’s definitely not something I would ever describe myself as. Says her with the name Belle but that’s another story

To me beauty is not something that can be seen

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think this is very true. Personally I won't go for promotion until I'm confident i have the skills to do the job well, whereas a lot of my male colleagues would go for it early and say they'll learn the skills needed on the job.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 21/09/21 08:22:53]

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

I agree with what you’re saying about the balance of power but there’s also the need to stand out and for some, that means talking themselves up in every way possible. Hence the ‘I can go for hours’ and ‘I can breathe through my ears’ claims.

As most others have said; attraction is a very subjective thing but sometimes the need to be seen and talking about yourself in a positive manner can gain the attention anyway

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it’s easier for guys to be called handsome, rugged charm ect… I love to see a woman made up for a night out looking beautiful in a dress, but I’m happiest when I’ve been lying in bed with a woman, when her hairs a mess with no make up just looking into her eyes and seeing that smile thats all I need to see. To say “morning beautiful”

But maybe I’m just weird

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

"I think it’s easier for guys to be called handsome, rugged charm ect… I love to see a woman made up for a night out looking beautiful in a dress, but I’m happiest when I’ve been lying in bed with a woman, when her hairs a mess with no make up just looking into her eyes and seeing that smile thats all I need to see. To say “morning beautiful”

But maybe I’m just weird

I don’t think you’re weird at all

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So.. just an observation on my part..

But I notice a lot of guys who state in their profiles that they are good looking, handsome, attractive etc..

I’ve not come across many female profiles where they state they are good looking, pretty, beautiful etc..

Is this an arrogance thing on men’s part, is it a lack of confidence, self depreciation on women’s part.

Do men genuinely believe in their looks/attractiveness more than women

Please debate

I think the issue with an assessment like this is that we are taking a small cross-section and strata of society and assuming that it represents all men (or women).

A lot of female profiles I read on here say things along the lines of “I know I’m attractive and I can select any man I want, so I will be picky, deal with it” and similar. But I don’t presume that such a level of arrogance represents all women on FAB, nor women in general.

There’s one thing for sure - the world has plenty of egos in it, male and female alike! And it’s highly unattractive

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

But maybe I’m just weird

I don’t think you’re weird at all"

Thank you Tea

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you only ever go for a job that you’re already fully skilled to do, then what are you learning? Are you challenging yourself? Whenever I have left a job for something new, it’s usually because I’ve become too comfortable with the job I’m in and am not challenging myself any longer. In itself, this means that new challenges means new things to learn and skills to develop? I’m currently in line for a succession into my bosses role, and that role will require a heap of new skills (people oriented, commercially, technical, operationally) that I will have to master. I can’t do that job today, the day I start that role (if ever I do!) I won’t be competent at it - I could be called “unqualified” - but I know I have the ability to develop and grow.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

But maybe I’m just weird

In my humble oppinion, that is the ultimate goal.

To have someone you care for lying at the side of you and sharing that time together.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

At my work, people have to do the more senior job for a few years under their same job title, same pay, with no recognition before they will be considered for a promotion. Even then someone else (boss's mate) usually gets the job.

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By *uriousscouserWoman
over a year ago

Wirral

"So.. just an observation on my part..

But I notice a lot of guys who state in their profiles that they are good looking, handsome, attractive etc..

I’ve not come across many female profiles where they state they are good looking, pretty, beautiful etc..

Is this an arrogance thing on men’s part, is it a lack of confidence, self depreciation on women’s part.

Do men genuinely believe in their looks/attractiveness more than women

Please debate

Its not written into my profile but I absolutely am fucking gorgeous and in no way resemble a potato in drag. Not at all.

I have seen women whose profiles state how attractive they are and that they're looking for elite men only.

I think due to the disparity in numbers between the sexes we don't need to sell ourselves anything like as hard as men do on here though.

Whether I say I'm gorgeous or tell the truth I'm still going to be messaged, there will still be someone willing to meet up. If a bloke says that he's deeply unattractive but very good company he's going to find it tough to drum up much interest.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Think it’s do (as previous post says) with men having to sell themselves on here.

The men to women ratio seems to be like 100:1 so it’s definitely a women’s market so to speak…

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

But maybe I’m just weird

In my humble oppinion, that is the ultimate goal.

To have someone you care for lying at the side of you and sharing that time together."

That’s the ultimate goal and from day one and only carrying on getting stronger x

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

"So.. just an observation on my part..

But I notice a lot of guys who state in their profiles that they are good looking, handsome, attractive etc..

I’ve not come across many female profiles where they state they are good looking, pretty, beautiful etc..

Is this an arrogance thing on men’s part, is it a lack of confidence, self depreciation on women’s part.

Do men genuinely believe in their looks/attractiveness more than women

Please debate

Its not written into my profile but I absolutely am fucking gorgeous and in no way resemble a potato in drag. Not at all.

I have seen women whose profiles state how attractive they are and that they're looking for elite men only.

I think due to the disparity in numbers between the sexes we don't need to sell ourselves anything like as hard as men do on here though.

But again, that attractiveness is subjective even if he says it's in the negative quota.

I think I'm funny, I laugh at myself all the time, I make other people laugh too BUT to some I'm cringe or gross and I hit a nerve instead of tickling their ribs. I'd not state I'm funny as a fact because it's subjective and I have awareness, I don't think I have the right to tell someone what I "should be to them". I will state that I'm 4'11 as a fact coz it is one.

To me selling yourself is BEING yourself.

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By *imi_RougeWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

"Rats = hideous

Your gorgeous "

You should see him in real life, he's very handsome

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By *hilloutMan
over a year ago

All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest

I've a confident and assertive personality by default so I have included it in profile text in the past so people can get a general idea of how I am.

As for attractiveness, I have described myself as attractive in the past mainly based on consistent feminine feedback; being fully aware of course that this is very subjective.

One person's eye candy can be another's eye sore

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By *indergirlWoman
over a year ago

somewhere, someplace

But maybe I’m just weird

Not weird at all x

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By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

wokingham

It’s probably easier for men to say they are physically attractive because women aren’t as picky on male physical attractiveness, so technically they aren’t lying.

Plus, men aren’t as often judged on their physical appearance, so it feels like arrogant to suggest it.

When a woman says she knows she’s attractive or whatever, I get a really strong sense of arrogance and entitlement from them. Probably because being physically attractive is the biggest advantage a woman can have, so it almost feels like they’re saying “I’m above you all”.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Out of interest, what does the second 'B' in the acronym 'BBW' stands for.

I see that on a lot of female profiles.

And nope, I wouldn't ever use the word handsome or attractive to describe myself, I find it a bit narcissistic.

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By *ty31Man
over a year ago

NW London

I think it's morto do with the ratio of guys to women. Any woman will get lots of attention and messages whereas I think guys need to do more to stand out from the crowd.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

May have been said, but I wonder if men are obvious with their self confidence (I am attractive) whereas women will more often be a bit more subtle (after gym fit VWE etc etc). While I get that's a preference there is a undder tone of "and I'm hot enough to demand that"

I also suspect that we write ads for ourselves. Men are visual and so play up their visual features .... Even tho women may want something more around behaviour.

I may review a few female profiles to see if it feels like they are writing through a female filter (harder to tell as a guy).

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

I don't really know how I feel about this one. I feel that too often we are discouraged from being confident in our appearances. People seem to want the whole "she doesn't know she's beautiful" thing. However, attractiveness is subjective so I don't really think it's a blanket statement you can put on a profile.

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By *rs mischiefWoman
over a year ago

Manchester

My confidence is shocking!

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

"It’s probably easier for men to say they are physically attractive because women aren’t as picky on male physical attractiveness, so technically they aren’t lying.

Women aren't as picky? I'm very fucking picky! My definition of someone physically attractive to me seems to be very narrow.......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It’s probably easier for men to say they are physically attractive because women aren’t as picky on male physical attractiveness, so technically they aren’t lying.

Plus, men aren’t as often judged on their physical appearance, so it feels like arrogant to suggest it.

I don’t know where you get that from, I’m really picky, and I find that an odd remark.

In addition, everything you’ve said above, it’s your perception.

If a women says she’s attractive, she’s arrogant and entitled? I’m not saying it’s a good or bad thing, just that you’re giving us ‘your’ perception.

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By *istretchMan
over a year ago

leeds

There are countless cpls who call themselves a hot cpl or hot wife , in the list of must haves it says must be handsome must be fit so if its not on their profile will it even be read ?

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

Numerous women refer to themselves as milfs which doesn't work if you have to use the acronym to describe yourself.

Lots of others claim to be hot, stunning or beautiful either in their profile name or bio so it's not unique to men.

It's not for me to say how I expect others to see me because it's subjective.

It's not about confidence for me so while I can look in the mirror and feel reasonably confident in my appearance I'm not going to tell others that or use it as my usp.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think it's morto do with the ratio of guys to women. Any woman will get lots of attention and messages whereas I think guys need to do more to stand out from the crowd."

But it would seem that saying "I'm very handsome" etc is less likely to achieve that with a lot of women...I find the list of "ways in which I am wonderful" messages just put me off.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

But maybe I’m just weird

Not weird at all x"

Awww thank you gorgeous xx

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

"There are countless cpls who call themselves a hot cpl or hot wife , in the list of must haves it says must be handsome must be fit so if its not on their profile will it even be read ? "

Hot wife is a term for a married woman who plays away, alone, consensually and is usually NOT a cuckold dynamic. It's not specifically a description of their appearance. Ditto "hot couple" and "hot husband".

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I guess I find describing yourself as attractive whether you are male or female off putting and rather arrogant, and less to do with confidence.

There is nothing wrong with feeling attractive and happy with the way you look in fact that’s how we should feel about ourselves.

However to make a statement to the wider audience like it’s a fact feels wrong to me as it is totally subjective.

Describing yourself as gym fit, curvy, petite etc is something that is evidenced and obvious to all, attractiveness however is not.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I think it's morto do with the ratio of guys to women. Any woman will get lots of attention and messages whereas I think guys need to do more to stand out from the crowd.

But it would seem that saying "I'm very handsome" etc is less likely to achieve that with a lot of women...I find the list of "ways in which I am wonderful" messages just put me off."

I agree.. saying it’s a way to sell yourself feels like a bit of a cop out in my opinion.. I don’t want someone to tell me how wonderful they are I want them to show me how they are through their actions so I can make my own judgement.

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By *wan64Woman
over a year ago

Glasgow

I think it's a man thing where as women are always quite so vain

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By *eah BabyCouple
over a year ago

Cheshire, Windermere ,Cumbria

Just looked at the guys on our hotlist, although there’s not many on there non state about being attractive, a couple say gym fit or in good shape. I’m guessing those that say about being handsome/attractive are trying to stand out with there being so many male profiles on here. It’s rare I find a guy attractive just by sight if I’m honest and I don’t really have a type, so they can put their attractive if they like but I’m more than likely to disagree haha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There are countless cpls who call themselves a hot cpl or hot wife , in the list of must haves it says must be handsome must be fit so if its not on their profile will it even be read ? "

I guess this is where sending a face pic with initial message helps for a lady to decide on whether or not she finds attraction.

Rather than it typed out on a profile

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think it's morto do with the ratio of guys to women. Any woman will get lots of attention and messages whereas I think guys need to do more to stand out from the crowd.

But it would seem that saying "I'm very handsome" etc is less likely to achieve that with a lot of women...I find the list of "ways in which I am wonderful" messages just put me off.

Although with some men who write that kind of thing - it often doesn't seem like vanity. It's more what they think they need to write or what they think women want to read. Lack of confidence can also lead people to write that kind of thing. It's not always arrogance.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So.. just an observation on my part..

But I notice a lot of guys who state in their profiles that they are good looking, handsome, attractive etc..

I’ve not come across many female profiles where they state they are good looking, pretty, beautiful etc..

Is this an arrogance thing on men’s part, is it a lack of confidence, self depreciation on women’s part.

Do men genuinely believe in their looks/attractiveness more than women

Please debate

Its a bit sad but I think that women generally are much more likely to receive hate/jealousy for proclaiming their attractiveness out loud.

I personally don’t have a problem with anyone being comfortable enough with themselves to own it and believe it.

I do agree that if it’s really laid on thick in their profile I probably wouldn’t message someone though… or maybe I would, depending on how much I agree with their statements and whether I can read some interesting personality in their writing.

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By *ty31Man
over a year ago

NW London

"I think it's morto do with the ratio of guys to women. Any woman will get lots of attention and messages whereas I think guys need to do more to stand out from the crowd.

But it would seem that saying "I'm very handsome" etc is less likely to achieve that with a lot of women...I find the list of "ways in which I am wonderful" messages just put me off.

But would you give a guy a chance if his profile was self deprecating or just said how average and un-unique he was?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"So.. just an observation on my part..

But I notice a lot of guys who state in their profiles that they are good looking, handsome, attractive etc..

I’ve not come across many female profiles where they state they are good looking, pretty, beautiful etc..

Is this an arrogance thing on men’s part, is it a lack of confidence, self depreciation on women’s part.

Do men genuinely believe in their looks/attractiveness more than women

Please debate

Its a bit sad but I think that women generally are much more likely to receive hate/jealousy for proclaiming their attractiveness out loud.

I personally don’t have a problem with anyone being comfortable enough with themselves to own it and believe it.

Nothing wrong at all with believing in your own attractiveness.. but writing it down as fact.. not sure that’s necessary.

But I think women who do state it probably do get more of a hard time than guys who do the same... as to why.. that’s a whole other debate.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I think it's morto do with the ratio of guys to women. Any woman will get lots of attention and messages whereas I think guys need to do more to stand out from the crowd.

But it would seem that saying "I'm very handsome" etc is less likely to achieve that with a lot of women...I find the list of "ways in which I am wonderful" messages just put me off.

But would you give a guy a chance if his profile was self deprecating or just said how average and un-unique he was?"

I think if it was done with humour rather than a woe is me.. I’m nothing special vibe it would stand out.. but then there is also the shallow side.. I have to be physically attracted to someone in order to consider meeting them for under the sheets action, so make a lot of my decisions (on here) from visuals rather than words. Certainly at the beginning of interactions..how it then progresses is more down to personality.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nothing wrong at all with believing in your own attractiveness.. but writing it down as fact.. not sure that’s necessary.

But I think women who do state it probably do get more of a hard time than guys who do the same... as to why.. that’s a whole other debate."

Whether it’s necessary or not is really immaterial, if you believe in your own attractiveness then I don’t particularly see a problem with saying so.

I’ll still make my own mind up if you’re attractive to me.

It’s no different than proclaiming yourself to be fun or have a great sense of humour really.

It’s all very subjective.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So.. just an observation on my part..

But I notice a lot of guys who state in their profiles that they are good looking, handsome, attractive etc..

I’ve not come across many female profiles where they state they are good looking, pretty, beautiful etc..

Is this an arrogance thing on men’s part, is it a lack of confidence, self depreciation on women’s part.

Do men genuinely believe in their looks/attractiveness more than women

Please debate

"
I am a superb specimen of manhood with the body of a famous statue and what more do you need to know in a place like this?

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By *harisajidanWoman
over a year ago

london

"So.. just an observation on my part..

But I notice a lot of guys who state in their profiles that they are good looking, handsome, attractive etc..

I’ve not come across many female profiles where they state they are good looking, pretty, beautiful etc..

Is this an arrogance thing on men’s part, is it a lack of confidence, self depreciation on women’s part.

Do men genuinely believe in their looks/attractiveness more than women

Please debate

Most men, at least on fab, are delusional, as you know Virginiagirl!

And half the women on here lack confidence— they damn near are apologizing in their profile for their body types and “wobbly bits”. It’s a mess.

Instead of Fab, a lot of these people need some damn therapists/therapy.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"So.. just an observation on my part..

But I notice a lot of guys who state in their profiles that they are good looking, handsome, attractive etc..

I’ve not come across many female profiles where they state they are good looking, pretty, beautiful etc..

Is this an arrogance thing on men’s part, is it a lack of confidence, self depreciation on women’s part.

Do men genuinely believe in their looks/attractiveness more than women

Please debate

Most men, at least on fab, are delusional, as you know Virginiagirl!

And half the women on here lack confidence— they damn near are apologizing in their profile for their body types and “wobbly bits”. It’s a mess.

Instead of Fab, a lot of these people need some damn therapists/therapy. "

Straight to the point and true in many ways

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"So.. just an observation on my part..

But I notice a lot of guys who state in their profiles that they are good looking, handsome, attractive etc..

I’ve not come across many female profiles where they state they are good looking, pretty, beautiful etc..

Is this an arrogance thing on men’s part, is it a lack of confidence, self depreciation on women’s part.

Do men genuinely believe in their looks/attractiveness more than women

Please debate

I am a superb specimen of manhood with the body of a famous statue and what more do you need to know in a place like this?"

And oh so modest with it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So.. just an observation on my part..

But I notice a lot of guys who state in their profiles that they are good looking, handsome, attractive etc..

I’ve not come across many female profiles where they state they are good looking, pretty, beautiful etc..

Is this an arrogance thing on men’s part, is it a lack of confidence, self depreciation on women’s part.

Do men genuinely believe in their looks/attractiveness more than women

Please debate

I am a superb specimen of manhood with the body of a famous statue and what more do you need to know in a place like this?

And oh so modest with it.

Thanks.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Out of interest, what does the second 'B' in the acronym 'BBW' stands for.

I see that on a lot of female profiles.

And nope, I wouldn't ever use the word handsome or attractive to describe myself, I find it a bit narcissistic.

No-one gonna take me up on that one then or is it not allowed to question the usage in many instances?

In which case mods can you please add FHM to your list of body choices as I would like to be referred to as Fat Handsome Man from here on in.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So.. just an observation on my part..

But I notice a lot of guys who state in their profiles that they are good looking, handsome, attractive etc..

I’ve not come across many female profiles where they state they are good looking, pretty, beautiful etc..

Is this an arrogance thing on men’s part, is it a lack of confidence, self depreciation on women’s part.

Do men genuinely believe in their looks/attractiveness more than women

Please debate

I’m sure that men fall into the trap more than women by describing what they think women are after. It also is to do with primal instincts to that men should be talk/handsome/attractive etc from the male perspective. Competition for the head of the herd so to speak.

More men are arrogant and delusional too.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Out of interest, what does the second 'B' in the acronym 'BBW' stands for.

I see that on a lot of female profiles.

And nope, I wouldn't ever use the word handsome or attractive to describe myself, I find it a bit narcissistic.

No-one gonna take me up on that one then or is it not allowed to question the usage in many instances?

In which case mods can you please add FHM to your list of body choices as I would like to be referred to as Fat Handsome Man from here on in.

Ha ha.. yes BBW is an acronym used by many women.. but it’s a term that has been coined (by whom I’m not sure) to fight the stereotype that fuller figures ladies are not seen as desirable as the media stereotype of beauty.. it’s not quite the same as describing yourself a beautiful/pretty hot etc

It’s making a statement that fuller figured women are beautiful as well (and rightly so) it’s a collective. Feel free to take ownership of FHM if you want

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Out of interest, what does the second 'B' in the acronym 'BBW' stands for.

I see that on a lot of female profiles.

And nope, I wouldn't ever use the word handsome or attractive to describe myself, I find it a bit narcissistic.

No-one gonna take me up on that one then or is it not allowed to question the usage in many instances?

In which case mods can you please add FHM to your list of body choices as I would like to be referred to as Fat Handsome Man from here on in.

It’s making a statement that fuller figured women are beautiful as well (and rightly so) it’s a collective. Feel free to take ownership of FHM if you want

Copyrighted and waiting for the royalties to come flooding in.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As a guy I find it difficult to take good pics because we'll we don't have many flattering poses

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Nearing the end but thank you for all of your input.. it’s been a great discussion xx

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

As the profile is your shop window it's best to present yourself as glorious ...why not? No one else will

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By *neeyedwillieMan
over a year ago

Darlington

So this was me writing this (via our couples account) Thought I'd add more to this (since the thread has grown) and use my single

profile as it's information worth sharing imo.

Unless someone is an outright delusional narcissist, i suspect everyone has self doubt about some aspect of themselves on here, even if they dont admit it. Fact is, we live in a society where through advertising and pop culture, we are force fed a diet of what others think attractive or sexy should be. All of it is ultimetly there to sell us crap we mostly dont need and set us unobtainable standards we will never reach.

So just be as happy as you can be in your own skin. If someone isnt interested because you have a wobbly bit, are to short, to old or whatever, they where never worth your time to begin with. Loke i said, you cant please everyone. I/ we get shot down plenty but I / we dont let it get to us and honestly, it makes us more attentive to those who do wish to meet me / us.

It really does break my heart so many ladies do have have self image issues on here (have a few fab freinds who have their moments of self doubt) and its often induced by the shitty attitudes of others on and off fab. We all know how easy it is for some assholes to hurl insults when you turn them down but just remember that its weird how you where so desirable till you said no. In my eyes it's about their own issues and the fact all they can do is lash out.

As far as I'm concerned, sexy women come in all shapes, sizes and colours but the sexiest thing of all is a positive attitude.

So to put it all in context, as a guy i'm quite happy to say "I am not all that" physically speaking. My wife thinks I'm sexy and that's the only opinion that matters to me. Beyond that, I'd say im pretty average I guess. But I really couldnt care less what otjer people think about my physical appearance.

But I know how to talk to and connect with people, know how to have a good time, would rather make freinds than go out of my way to upset people and I have faith in my...other abilities shall we say.

And because of that, the people that have met me through fab (be it on my own or with my wife) all seem to have had a good time be it socially or physically. So I must be doing something right if people want to see more than once..right?

So to anyone with any self doubts, just focus on having fun, stop worrying about what others may or may not think about your physical appearance and just enjoy the positive attention and ignore the negatives...but most of all, just treat others how you want to be treated.

You're all sexy ladies..so deal with it

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