FabSwingers.com forum: Getting my Fetish needs met.

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I have been playing a lot over the last couple of months in a Domme role, and while it has been fun,& I have plenty of sub playmates, I realise how I have been neglecting my own needs.

I am a switch, and I desperately need to let someone else take control for a while. I miss this. A LOT.

but finding a new Dom on here, or the other popular Fet websites is incredibly difficult.

I need a deep connection with someone to be really able to let myself go, and fully immerse myself into the play scene.

Trust in the B.D.S.M lifestyle takes time to build.

I have found myself recently playing back in my mind the past incredible experiences I have been fortunate enough to have experienced with my ex.

& Wondering if I will ever get to enjoy similar things again.

Not sure what I am hoping to get out of this forum post, but just felt the need to put the words down to say how I feel.

Happy to chat with any other kinksters who can understand my situation.

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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

I can appreciate that.

While it can be fun to help others get what they want while still managing to have some fun yourself, there is something about finally getting to experience what you want/need.

I hadn’t had a good impact play session for a wee while until I met my sub in April.

Sure I managed to have some fun showing people new to the scene a few bits between lockdowns last year, but it was no substitute for what I wanted to do. Thankfully she seems to be enjoying it almost if not more than me!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you've had it before, chances are there is someone out there for you again. It is a dynamic worth the wait I suppose, just a frustrating wait.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I can appreciate that.

While it can be fun to help others get what they want while still managing to have some fun yourself, there is something about finally getting to experience what you want/need.

I hadn’t had a good impact play session for a wee while until I met my sub in April.

Exactly this, I have been trying to fill a void in my kink life, but the void I need to fill is on the other side of the dynamic.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"If you've had it before, chances are there is someone out there for you again. It is a dynamic worth the wait I suppose, just a frustrating wait. "

Thank you. Wise words

I will wait. And rejoice once I am in that wonderful situation once again.

All good things come to those who wait they say.

It is trying my patience though.

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By *dam1971Man
over a year ago

Bedford

It’s good that you’re aware of your own needs and are taking steps to get them fulfilled. Whether that’s because you’ve changed or you miss something from the past doesn’t matter; it’s only important that you get the sexual relationship that’s important to you.

I hope you get there x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If only these things were so easy...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Like with most things in life needs change

I used to love crewing and help others make their first steps in the scene but soon realised I was putting most of my energy into enabling others fun and not having much personal fun

Hope you find the balance you need

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"It’s good that you’re aware of your own needs and are taking steps to get them fulfilled. Whether that’s because you’ve changed or you miss something from the past doesn’t matter; it’s only important that you get the sexual relationship that’s important to you.

I hope you get there x"

Thanks, I hope so too.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"If only these things were so easy..."

Indeed. I realise I may never find what I am looking for again and that's a sad realisation.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Like with most things in life needs change

I used to love crewing and help others make their first steps in the scene but soon realised I was putting most of my energy into enabling others fun and not having much personal fun

Hope you find the balance you need "

Yeah, that sounds exactly where I am at the moment. An enabler for others. Which is o.k. in some respects, but it isn't scratching MY itch.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I understand your need for deep connection. Did you try attending munches or kink events? Nothing beats real face to face meets when it comes to building connection with someone. By definition, it s out all time wasters. It's easy to gauge if you can connect with someone when you are seeing the person in real.

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By *dam1971Man
over a year ago

Bedford

"If only these things were so easy...

Indeed. I realise I may never find what I am looking for again and that's a sad realisation."

I’ve been there, it’s the hope but knowing you’re likely to lose that’s a killer.

Having said that, I changed things a lot and got what I needed, or at least one of the things I needed.

Can you do something differently to get a different result?

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By *adyJayneWoman
over a year ago

Burnleyish (She/They)

"I have been playing a lot over the last couple of months in a Domme role, and while it has been fun,& I have plenty of sub playmates, I realise how I have been neglecting my own needs.

I am a switch, and I desperately need to let someone else take control for a while. I miss this. A LOT.

but finding a new Dom on here, or the other popular Fet websites is incredibly difficult.

I need a deep connection with someone to be really able to let myself go, and fully immerse myself into the play scene.

Trust in the B.D.S.M lifestyle takes time to build.

I have found myself recently playing back in my mind the past incredible experiences I have been fortunate enough to have experienced with my ex.

& Wondering if I will ever get to enjoy similar things again.

Not sure what I am hoping to get out of this forum post, but just felt the need to put the words down to say how I feel.

Happy to chat with any other kinksters who can understand my situation.

I'm right there with you myself. I've got a great big itch that needs scratching, but finding the right person with the right attitude and experience is so hard...

No advice, just mutual understanding

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I understand your need for deep connection. Did you try attending munches or kink events? Nothing beats real face to face meets when it comes to building connection with someone. By definition, it s out all time wasters. It's easy to gauge if you can connect with someone when you are seeing the person in real."

I regularly attend munches and fetish events, I am aware of the need to meet people in person face to face to guage them. I just haven't found the connection or attraction I desire yet.

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By *otPrinceHarryMan
over a year ago

Glasgow

"If you've had it before, chances are there is someone out there for you again. It is a dynamic worth the wait I suppose, just a frustrating wait. "

Definitely this. I just reconnected with a friend of twenty years over the weekend, and we discover some of our kinks overlap beautifully. We'll be exploring a lot of scenarios in the coming months.

So you never know- maybe you've already met your perfect Dom? I already knew my perfect sub!

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