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Lies

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By *ea monkey OP   Man
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

Are they just a sign of cowardice and an inability to own their own feelings? Is lying a self serving act to make them feel better about what they’ve done?

Why would someone lie?

Discuss

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By *ack688Man
over a year ago

abruzzo Italy (and UK)

Depends on the situation, everything from self preservation, to manipulation, cowardice or malicious intent

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By *adyBugsWoman
over a year ago

cognito

No one wants to be seen as a bad person so they lie about the situation while in their head they believe they are saving others from pain. In reality they just cause more.

I’m a grown up, I can handle honesty even if it feels brutal at the time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People lie because they think it will spare people feeling

Like what you don’t know won’t hurt you

But it hurts all that much more when the truth comes out and it will at some point

If people tell the truth from the get go maybe the problem could be worked around

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By *ea monkey OP   Man
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)


"No one wants to be seen as a bad person so they lie about the situation while in their head they believe they are saving others from pain. In reality they just cause more.

I’m a grown up, I can handle honesty even if it feels brutal at the time. "

I’m the same. I’d rather the honesty of a situation than a lie which only hurts more in the long run.

I’m an adult and can handle reality, hence why I think it’s cowardly

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"No one wants to be seen as a bad person so they lie about the situation while in their head they believe they are saving others from pain. In reality they just cause more.

I’m a grown up, I can handle honesty even if it feels brutal at the time. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There are many reasons why people may lie. I really don't believe that there is a single person that is totally honest all the time. What a Saint they must be! Slight twists of truth are often kinder than the cold hard truth. I think.

There are different degrees of lies and certainly isn't a black and white subject.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"No one wants to be seen as a bad person so they lie about the situation while in their head they believe they are saving others from pain. In reality they just cause more.

I’m a grown up, I can handle honesty even if it feels brutal at the time. "

Absolutely as above...lies = pain for someone..i(mrs) would rather have the complete truth even if it hurts to hear it..no ommisions either and no half truths..

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

.

We've all lied at some point, whether it's a white lie, a grey, black one or all the nuances in between.

I'd much rather someone showed me enough basic respect not to - it's often not the truth that upsets me but the fact that a lie has been told - I'd like the ability to decide on things and that's removed isn't it?

I can understand why a person does to some extent; wanting to appear better, uncomfortable with the reality, wanting to save face or feelings. It doesn't always sit right with me though and sometimes it can be very upsetting indeed.

I hope that your musings aren't a reflection of your current situation OP.

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

Depends, I've lied to keep me and my kids safe from an abusive ex. It's not always down to being cowardly.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"No one wants to be seen as a bad person so they lie about the situation while in their head they believe they are saving others from pain. In reality they just cause more.

I’m a grown up, I can handle honesty even if it feels brutal at the time.

Absolutely as above...lies = pain for someone..i(mrs) would rather have the complete truth even if it hurts to hear it..no ommisions either and no half truths.."

How do you know what someone is telling you is the truth? A lot of the time being truthful to yourself is harder than being truthful to others. We mostly only believe what we want to believe. So what's the truth?

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By *ynecplCouple
over a year ago

Newcastle upon Tyne


"Are they just a sign of cowardice and an inability to own their own feelings? Is lying a self serving act to make them feel better about what they’ve done?

Why would someone lie?

Discuss"

All of them depending on the situation.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Some people are unable to tell the truth. I had the misfortune to be briefly married to such a man. I have no idea what the motives were behind his lying although some of it was to cover his gambling habit.

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By *hroatQueen_CATV/TS
over a year ago

Carlisle

A liar doesn't have a conscience! They don't care because they are narcissistic same as cheats. (Unless you are in a relationship that is open and honest etc)

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By *tue555Man
over a year ago

Passed Beyond Reach


"Are they just a sign of cowardice and an inability to own their own feelings? Is lying a self serving act to make them feel better about what they’ve done?

Why would someone lie?

Discuss"

People lie for many different reasons, because they think they are doing the right thing. To deceive to gain, make themselves seem better than they are list could go on.

As I have said on many threads, sites like this pretty much everyone lies. Even if it is simple as age. Generally people are unhappy with who they are here. Reminds me of True Lies. People are here to live a fantasy and part of it is be something your not.

But again have said before, people here would rather believe a lie than truth.

Site like this you expect people to lie, it's in their nature.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We've all lied at some point, whether it's a white lie, a grey, black one or all the nuances in between.

I'd much rather someone showed me enough basic respect not to - it's often not the truth that upsets me but the fact that a lie has been told - I'd like the ability to decide on things and that's removed isn't it?

I can understand why a person does to some extent; wanting to appear better, uncomfortable with the reality, wanting to save face or feelings. It doesn't always sit right with me though and sometimes it can be very upsetting indeed.

I hope that your musings aren't a reflection of your current situation OP."

This. We're all guilty of it to a certain extent.

Lies that hurt other people whether it be directly or lies about others to hinder or ruin a reputation in whatever the context are the dangerous ones.

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By *ea monkey OP   Man
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)


"We've all lied at some point, whether it's a white lie, a grey, black one or all the nuances in between.

I'd much rather someone showed me enough basic respect not to - it's often not the truth that upsets me but the fact that a lie has been told - I'd like the ability to decide on things and that's removed isn't it?

I can understand why a person does to some extent; wanting to appear better, uncomfortable with the reality, wanting to save face or feelings. It doesn't always sit right with me though and sometimes it can be very upsetting indeed.

I hope that your musings aren't a reflection of your current situation OP.

This. We're all guilty of it to a certain extent.

Lies that hurt other people whether it be directly or lies about others to hinder or ruin a reputation in whatever the context are the dangerous ones. "

I’m not quite sure what you mean by the last line about ruining reputations, that sounds very specific?

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By *alandNitaCouple
over a year ago

Scunthorpe


"Are they just a sign of cowardice and an inability to own their own feelings? Is lying a self serving act to make them feel better about what they’ve done?

Why would someone lie?

Discuss"

What about when you lie to save hurting someone's feelings...?

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By *ea monkey OP   Man
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)


"We've all lied at some point, whether it's a white lie, a grey, black one or all the nuances in between.

I'd much rather someone showed me enough basic respect not to - it's often not the truth that upsets me but the fact that a lie has been told - I'd like the ability to decide on things and that's removed isn't it?

I can understand why a person does to some extent; wanting to appear better, uncomfortable with the reality, wanting to save face or feelings. It doesn't always sit right with me though and sometimes it can be very upsetting indeed.

I hope that your musings aren't a reflection of your current situation OP."

I tend to agree with you on your points.

White lies are deemed acceptable leading through the scale of grey where a person’s moral stance takes increasing control. We do all lie to a degree but it’s the big lies, the ones that we know will hurt others that I’m talking more about. It’s those that have the effect as you’ve said.

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By *ea monkey OP   Man
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)


"Are they just a sign of cowardice and an inability to own their own feelings? Is lying a self serving act to make them feel better about what they’ve done?

Why would someone lie?

Discuss

What about when you lie to save hurting someone's feelings...?"

That covers a multitude of things. That can go from ‘your bum doesn’t look big’ to ‘no I didn’t fuck that rugby team’, depending on how you dress it

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By *erfectman122Man
over a year ago

from somewhere nice

If they can tell lies what else are they capable of

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By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester

You know me very well so you understand when I say I struggle with my black and white viewpoints. I believe lies are a lack of respect towards another human being and that bothers me greatly. Whilst I try to empathise with situations not being linear, fundamentally I believe people deserve the truth. Lies destroy people. I’m not ok with that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I despise liars. Just be up front, it comes out in the end anyway and only makes you feel ten times worse.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Depends, I've lied to keep me and my kids safe from an abusive ex. It's not always down to being cowardly. "

Brave.

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By *ea monkey OP   Man
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)


"I despise liars. Just be up front, it comes out in the end anyway and only makes you feel ten times worse.

"

That’s my point, it’s the person being lied to that ends up being hurt by the other persons inability to be honest.

If you care about the other person, then why lie?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I despise liars. Just be up front, it comes out in the end anyway and only makes you feel ten times worse.

That’s my point, it’s the person being lied to that ends up being hurt by the other persons inability to be honest.

If you care about the other person, then why lie? "

Exactly

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

We all have lied in our lives

Sometimes because we feel it's kinder than truth.

The motive behind the lie and the potential harm it can cause are what are important.

Ie on here lies are genrally to get more meets like age, marital status and sexuality. People may think its fine to tell these lies, but it could cause damage to another person and go against their beliefs /wishes.

I think lies that are to save your own skin or get something from another person be it sympathy a meet etc are very disrespectful.

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By *ea monkey OP   Man
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)


"Depends, I've lied to keep me and my kids safe from an abusive ex. It's not always down to being cowardly. "

That’s a fair and valid point

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In my experience people lie for a whole host of reasons, from trying to sparing someone’s feelings to manipulation & control. Personally I just wish people were more honest, it makes life so much easier.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lying is part of your psychological defence system. You need to be able to lie. Everyone lies and those who say they don’t, are liars.

The ethics of lying however, that’s an interesting subject

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By *tue555Man
over a year ago

Passed Beyond Reach


"We've all lied at some point, whether it's a white lie, a grey, black one or all the nuances in between.

I'd much rather someone showed me enough basic respect not to - it's often not the truth that upsets me but the fact that a lie has been told - I'd like the ability to decide on things and that's removed isn't it?

I can understand why a person does to some extent; wanting to appear better, uncomfortable with the reality, wanting to save face or feelings. It doesn't always sit right with me though and sometimes it can be very upsetting indeed.

I hope that your musings aren't a reflection of your current situation OP.

This. We're all guilty of it to a certain extent.

Lies that hurt other people whether it be directly or lies about others to hinder or ruin a reputation in whatever the context are the dangerous ones.

I’m not quite sure what you mean by the last line about ruining reputations, that sounds very specific? "

Looks like referering to a specific instance. I have been subjected to torraids of lies before on more than one occasion. Usually out jealousy or simple rebuttle.

Its not the person who feels the need to start the lies, its the people who perpetuate them which says it all about them, is all too common on sites like this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Are they just a sign of cowardice and an inability to own their own feelings? Is lying a self serving act to make them feel better about what they’ve done?

Why would someone lie?

Discuss"

What do you think OP?

Have you never lied?

Its a big subject, isn't it?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Are they just a sign of cowardice and an inability to own their own feelings? Is lying a self serving act to make them feel better about what they’ve done?

Why would someone lie?

Discuss"

I've been doing all of these for the last 2 years. I am a coward and in denial.

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By *hloevtTV/TS
over a year ago

norwich

Lies , it's an expansive word that covers so many levels .

From an O,J Simpson to "no darling you bum isn't to big" anyone that says they never lie about anything is more than likely telling a lie !! X

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By *izzy.miss.lizzyCouple
over a year ago

Pembrokeshire

emotional immaturity, attempts to manipulate a situation, shame, to spare somebody's feelings, to cover up wrong doings, to pass blame... so many different reasons... I lived 40 years with one so I know these things from life.

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By *ea monkey OP   Man
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)


"Are they just a sign of cowardice and an inability to own their own feelings? Is lying a self serving act to make them feel better about what they’ve done?

Why would someone lie?

Discuss

What do you think OP?

Have you never lied?

Its a big subject, isn't it?"

I’m not saying that I’ve never lied, I’ve lied for all sorts of reasons.

As I said above, there are white lies and grey lies according to our moral calls. Then there are the lies that hurt, break lives and cause unnecessary pain, just to protect self interest and avoid accountability.

Where do you stand on those?

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By *indergirlWoman
over a year ago

somewhere, someplace

For me lies I may have told were for self preservation... My last relationship was awful so I often white lied to keep things stable and definitely lied to my family about the state of the relationship through sheer embarrassment that I had let myself stay in it.

Some people however lie through pure deceit like the.... I missed the train, I got caught on a call, they asked me to work late, going out with the lads... When in fact he was with someone else

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The think the biggest lies are the ones we tell ourselves. Also the hardest to acknowledge.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ridiculously broad subject.

I know someone who ‘lied’ about being ok and died of cancer… didn’t want the attention, didn’t want people worrying… who knows why, but I don’t see that as cowardly.

Each scenario around lies will have contrasting opinions, so to bundle the term ‘lies’ into a single category and discuss just isn’t possible.

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit


"Ridiculously broad subject.

I know someone who ‘lied’ about being ok and died of cancer… didn’t want the attention, didn’t want people worrying… who knows why, but I don’t see that as cowardly.

Each scenario around lies will have contrasting opinions, so to bundle the term ‘lies’ into a single category and discuss just isn’t possible. "

Aww that's so sad,

In contrast I knew of someone who lied about having cancer to cover up something else.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The think the biggest lies are the ones we tell ourselves. Also the hardest to acknowledge."

"I'm ok"

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land


"Depends, I've lied to keep me and my kids safe from an abusive ex. It's not always down to being cowardly.

That’s a fair and valid point"

And I'll keep lying to my kids about what happened to protect them from the reality of the abuse, which at their ages they cannot comprehend.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it depends on the nature of the lie.

If for example I make dinner and it tastes awful then the person i was was cooking fir said this is lovely because they Dont want hurt my feelings then I think is understandable because it's coming from a good place. If the is to deliberately tried to deceive or cover something up then thats completely different so it just depends on the contact's like with mosy things.

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

All sorts of reasons I suppose but I hate liars x

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By *ea monkey OP   Man
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)


"Depends, I've lied to keep me and my kids safe from an abusive ex. It's not always down to being cowardly.

That’s a fair and valid point

And I'll keep lying to my kids about what happened to protect them from the reality of the abuse, which at their ages they cannot comprehend.

"

Will you tell them when they’re old enough to understand?

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By *ea monkey OP   Man
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)


"I think it depends on the nature of the lie.

If for example I make dinner and it tastes awful then the person i was was cooking fir said this is lovely because they Dont want hurt my feelings then I think is understandable because it's coming from a good place. If the is to deliberately tried to deceive or cover something up then thats completely different so it just depends on the contact's like with mosy things. "

Is lying about cheating about protecting the other person?

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land


"Depends, I've lied to keep me and my kids safe from an abusive ex. It's not always down to being cowardly.

That’s a fair and valid point

And I'll keep lying to my kids about what happened to protect them from the reality of the abuse, which at their ages they cannot comprehend.

Will you tell them when they’re old enough to understand? "

I'm unsure to be honest. Depends on their relationship with him. Would it be fair to tell them how he sexually assaulted me when they got on with him? Do I shatter their illusions of who he is as a person? I genuinely do not know what the solution will be long term.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The think the biggest lies are the ones we tell ourselves. Also the hardest to acknowledge.

"I'm ok""

Yes.

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

Lies are absolutely the most destructive thing to any relationship, be it a friendship or more.

Even when someone lies to seemingly make the other person feel better, or to protect them, that's still a selfish act designed to stop themselves from having to have a hard conversation and feel like the bad guy.

Once trust has been broken I'm not convinced it can ever be put back together.

However, it isn't black and white. Sometimes a lie is necessary and is actually the kindest or safest path to take. Is it the right one? The only person who can answer that is the person who is telling the lie. If it is the right path for them in that situation, and they have considered the consequences and can make peace with them, then that is what they should do.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

It depends. People lie to themselves. The conservatives and Trump, follow the rules of repeating the lie often, so that it becomes the new truth.

It will be for emotional/psychological comfort. It may be to assume power over others. A lie can be an invisible shield that prevents true intimacy, as the liar is not engaging themselves with another, but a proxy substitute

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think it depends on the nature of the lie.

If for example I make dinner and it tastes awful then the person i was was cooking fir said this is lovely because they Dont want hurt my feelings then I think is understandable because it's coming from a good place. If the is to deliberately tried to deceive or cover something up then thats completely different so it just depends on the contact's like with mosy things.

Is lying about cheating about protecting the other person? "

For me that comes under the category of trying to deceive and cover up rather than being polite with good intentions. That's the difference from a its the context and the reason behind the lie.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Ridiculously broad subject.

I know someone who ‘lied’ about being ok and died of cancer… didn’t want the attention, didn’t want people worrying… who knows why, but I don’t see that as cowardly.

Each scenario around lies will have contrasting opinions, so to bundle the term ‘lies’ into a single category and discuss just isn’t possible. "

And equally people with depression may say 'fine/great' when asked how they are.. Actually probably lots of us auto reply 'fine' - either not to burden the other person , or they don't have time /energy /inclination to go onto further detail.. Or don't want to be truthful - for the judgement that comes with it.

So where do you draw the line on a 'lie'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Are they just a sign of cowardice and an inability to own their own feelings? Is lying a self serving act to make them feel better about what they’ve done?

Why would someone lie?

Discuss

What do you think OP?

Have you never lied?

Its a big subject, isn't it?

I’m not saying that I’ve never lied, I’ve lied for all sorts of reasons.

As I said above, there are white lies and grey lies according to our moral calls. Then there are the lies that hurt, break lives and cause unnecessary pain, just to protect self interest and avoid accountability.

Where do you stand on those? "

I prize honesty very highly.

The worst person to lie to though is yourself.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hmm. I think a little lie is harmless really. If someone has got me a present I don't like, I'd rather lie and accept it than tell them it's awful. I don't think that makes me a coward or a bad person. And what if you lie to keep yourself safe? Does that make you a coward?

I guess we all draw the line at different points. I would say for me that point come when your lies are harmful and could hurt someone or you lie over pointless stuff for no reason at all.

It's not something that I look at as black and white to be honest.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Honesty is a very valuable asset as far as I’m concerned.

Rather be hurt by truth than a lie any day

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By *tue555Man
over a year ago

Passed Beyond Reach

I lie to myself constantly. I keep telling myself people like me. I guess im lying to myself to protect my own feelings how cowardly

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By *ea monkey OP   Man
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)


"Honesty is a very valuable asset as far as I’m concerned.

Rather be hurt by truth than a lie any day "

I absolutely agree

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was brought up not to lie how ever bad the truth is.

I absolutely hate lies and liars.

In my working life all the liars get promoted to higher positions.

Funny that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Are they just a sign of cowardice and an inability to own their own feelings? Is lying a self serving act to make them feel better about what they’ve done?

Why would someone lie?

Discuss

What do you think OP?

Have you never lied?

Its a big subject, isn't it?

I’m not saying that I’ve never lied, I’ve lied for all sorts of reasons.

As I said above, there are white lies and grey lies according to our moral calls. Then there are the lies that hurt, break lives and cause unnecessary pain, just to protect self interest and avoid accountability.

Where do you stand on those?

I prize honesty very highly.

The worst person to lie to though is yourself."

I fully agree.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"As I have said on many threads, sites like this pretty much everyone lies. Even if it is simple as age. Generally people are unhappy with who they are here. Reminds me of True Lies. People are here to live a fantasy and part of it is be something your not.

But again have said before, people here would rather believe a lie than truth.

Site like this you expect people to lie, it's in their nature.

"

No. There will always be those who are cheating and on here as with any adult site. But I strongly disagree that everyone here is lying and are unhappy with who they are.

I find those who tell the kind of lies that would hurt others do it out of self-preservation and cowardice.

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By *hroatQueen_CATV/TS
over a year ago

Carlisle


"It depends. People lie to themselves. The conservatives and Trump, follow the rules of repeating the lie often, so that it becomes the new truth.

It will be for emotional/psychological comfort. It may be to assume power over others. A lie can be an invisible shield that prevents true intimacy, as the liar is not engaging themselves with another, but a proxy substitute "
Trump was a cockwomble and bigot! Our government are clueless. Hahaha

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By *esparate danMan
over a year ago

glasgow


"I think it depends on the nature of the lie.

If for example I make dinner and it tastes awful then the person i was was cooking fir said this is lovely because they Dont want hurt my feelings then I think is understandable because it's coming from a good place. If the is to deliberately tried to deceive or cover something up then thats completely different so it just depends on the contact's like with mosy things.

Is lying about cheating about protecting the other person? "

If they cared for the person and wanted to protect what they had with them ..after a mistake for instance ... admitting to it could sometimes be weaponized ... that can often feel harder to take

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By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet


"I was brought up not to lie how ever bad the truth is.

I absolutely hate lies and liars.

In my working life all the liars get promoted to higher positions.

Funny that. "

So if the Nazis had come to you and said is Anne Frank in your attic you'd have said yes she is?

Thete are different levels and reasons for lying,depending on the situation, same as there are for telling the truth.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think it depends on the nature of the lie.

If for example I make dinner and it tastes awful then the person i was was cooking fir said this is lovely because they Dont want hurt my feelings then I think is understandable because it's coming from a good place. If the is to deliberately tried to deceive or cover something up then thats completely different so it just depends on the contact's like with mosy things.

Is lying about cheating about protecting the other person? "

No they are just protecting themselves.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross


"Are they just a sign of cowardice and an inability to own their own feelings? Is lying a self serving act to make them feel better about what they’ve done?

Why would someone lie?

Discuss"

This is huge man. Huge.

No it's not always cowardice. No it's not always an inability to own their own feelings. It's not necessarily a self serving act either .......

People lie for very many reasons both positive and negative......

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

There are so many reasons for mendacity. It's often the easier way out of a situation.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Whatever the reason is for someone lying it's the sheer fact the have no respect for who they are lying to and that is the hurting factor. If someone lies to me then they don't value me or respect me and I would question their sense of morals, common decency and deem them as selfish and looking out for themselves only.

I like the truth, no matter how brutal, no matter how harsh. It's sometimes hard to swallow, but swallowing the fact someone didn't respect you enough or care enough to not lie is harder to swallow at times, but it's far easier to cut them off with the scissors they've ultimately handed you.

It's how you react to being lied to though that is the killer. If someone lies, you should be able to walk away knowing they are no good for you. If you let it drag you down and don't get caught up in how they didn't care or respect you it's you in the pain while they aren't. They will just carry on and move on. So you shouldn't let them have that hold on you. Don't pause your life in hurt because of their lie. It's them that should feel something negative about what they done. Don't let them project it onto you.

I know it's not easy. I've been there.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Whatever the reason is for someone lying it's the sheer fact the have no respect for who they are lying to and that is the hurting factor. If someone lies to me then they don't value me or respect me and I would question their sense of morals, common decency and deem them as selfish and looking out for themselves only.

I like the truth, no matter how brutal, no matter how harsh. It's sometimes hard to swallow, but swallowing the fact someone didn't respect you enough or care enough to not lie is harder to swallow at times, but it's far easier to cut them off with the scissors they've ultimately handed you.

It's how you react to being lied to though that is the killer. If someone lies, you should be able to walk away knowing they are no good for you. If you let it drag you down and don't get caught up in how they didn't care or respect you it's you in the pain while they aren't. They will just carry on and move on. So you shouldn't let them have that hold on you. Don't pause your life in hurt because of their lie. It's them that should feel something negative about what they done. Don't let them project it onto you.

I know it's not easy. I've been there. "

I feel the same. Because once you know someone has been lying to you, the trust is gone and everything that went before is tainted. I can handle brutal honesty better than that.

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By *uddy laneMan
over a year ago

dudley

I have to say I have been lied to more by women.

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By *orthern StarsCouple
over a year ago

Durham

It depends what the lies are about. Every single person tells more of some sort, some are just larger than others. Some lies are totally acceptable, some aren't.

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By *erfectman122Man
over a year ago

from somewhere nice


"I have to say I have been lied to more by women."
how do you come to that assumption

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By *uddy laneMan
over a year ago

dudley


"I have to say I have been lied to more by women. how do you come to that assumption "

OK I have caught more women out lieing to me.

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By *iamondCougarWoman
over a year ago

Norfuck! / Lincolnshire

For some it’s about kidding themselves, they don’t necessarily compute that they are lying to YOU!

Agree…. We all tell little white lies at times, not necessarily to harm anyone. But some will blatantly lie and think it’s ok …. Errr nope, it’s not ok, at all

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By *iamondCougarWoman
over a year ago

Norfuck! / Lincolnshire


"I have to say I have been lied to more by women."

It’s not just women ….

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By *uddy laneMan
over a year ago

dudley

Agreed women are lied to more by men, my memory is crap so I tend not to say too much.

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By *wist my nipplesCouple
over a year ago

North East Scotland, mostly

An enormous and emotive subject, OP!

I think being honest with ourselves is one of the hardest things to do as human being. Really, genuinely, truly honest. Until we can do that - and it's not a once and for all time thing, it's ongoing - I think it's impossible to be truly honest with others.

Mrs TMN x

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By *quaman87Man
over a year ago

colchester

People lie for many reasons, like to cover up something bad, or to make themselves out to be something there not or to try and prevent hurting someone else's feeling and so on. Everyone does it, ain't a person on here that hasn't.

We do it for our own reasons and yes maybe it's wrong and will be worse when the truth is found out but you can't judge somebody cause of a lie. At the time it might be bad but there's always a reason for a lie. Getting to that reason might not be such a bad thing sometimes.

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By *quaman87Man
over a year ago

colchester


"I have to say I have been lied to more by women."
that's the biggest lie ever!! Can't belive what I read sometimes

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon


"Agreed women are lied to more by men, my memory is crap so I tend not to say too much."

I disagree entirely. Women aren't lied to more by men at all.... this isn't something that is determined by what sex you are. People lie to people.

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By *ir SupremacyMan
over a year ago

Bolton

Politicians make a living out of it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What is the definition of a lie?

If a group of people are sat in a circle with a ball in the middle with writing on it and each drew a picture of what they see, each would have different letters of what they see from their position/viewpoints.

Those blatant liars are just lost ones who, as all, will reap what they sew.

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By *onb21Woman
over a year ago

Cardiff

The only thing I lie about is that my cat has a special diet. It's on a tag on her collar so that well meaning but misguided neighbours won't feed her.

Other lies are not acceptable.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have to say I have been lied to more by women. that's the biggest lie ever!! Can't belive what I read sometimes "

? That's his experience - how can you claim that's a lie?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People do things and then they try to justify it. Everyone does it. Most people are smart enough to admit to their mistakes and apologise when it reaches a stage where they cannot justify their actions anymore or they just feel guilty. But the ones who don't have that guilt consciousness and also assume that others will believe everything they say, tell lies.

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By *quaman87Man
over a year ago

colchester


"I have to say I have been lied to more by women. that's the biggest lie ever!! Can't belive what I read sometimes

? That's his experience - how can you claim that's a lie? "
oh come on, its human nature to lie. Might be a lie over the disappearance of a biscuit or cheating in a relationship. Dont matter how trivial or how big of a lie. There lies. And no man on the planet can say they have never lied to a women.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have to say I have been lied to more by women. that's the biggest lie ever!! Can't belive what I read sometimes

? That's his experience - how can you claim that's a lie? oh come on, its human nature to lie. Might be a lie over the disappearance of a biscuit or cheating in a relationship. Dont matter how trivial or how big of a lie. There lies. And no man on the planet can say they have never lied to a women. "

But he never said that men do not lie to women. He just said he had been lied to more often by women which is totally feasible.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have to say I have been lied to more by women. that's the biggest lie ever!! Can't belive what I read sometimes

? That's his experience - how can you claim that's a lie? oh come on, its human nature to lie. Might be a lie over the disappearance of a biscuit or cheating in a relationship. Dont matter how trivial or how big of a lie. There lies. And no man on the planet can say they have never lied to a women. "

You've got the wrong end of the stick. He didn't say that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Because the truth does not serve their interests.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"An enormous and emotive subject, OP!

I think being honest with ourselves is one of the hardest things to do as human being. Really, genuinely, truly honest. Until we can do that - and it's not a once and for all time thing, it's ongoing - I think it's impossible to be truly honest with others.

Mrs TMN x"

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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny


"Are they just a sign of cowardice and an inability to own their own feelings? Is lying a self serving act to make them feel better about what they’ve done?

Why would someone lie?

Discuss"

To justify/hide their actions/behaviour

Because they feel it is the right thing to do such as to protect someone/someones feelings

To gain an advantage

To obtain a desired thing

Ultimately they lie because it serves their own purposes and people believe them.

People claim honesty is the best policy, but they are lying to themselves. People cannot take 100% honesty without it becoming personal or triggering an emotional response. So we lie.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

'The faintest of all human passions is the love of truth'

The poet AE Houseman.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I lied and lied and lied for years and would get myself into so much trouble (not enormous awful lies) but after counselling it was determined I have a nature to want to please people and if the truth was to disappoint someone I would lie rather than let the truth hurt them and that would lead to another and another….. I now live by “the truth will set you free” and it’s not always easy sailing but my conscience is clearer than ever

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