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Wank fodder......

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By *aFemmeCoquette OP   Woman
over a year ago

somewhere, someplace

No it's not a thread about what you think its about.

Yes I know putting yourself on here you're subject to becoming that...... But when chats become private, personal and intimate and are ongoing for a long time then suddenly poof you're cut off, you can't help thinking did any of those words or conversations actually have any truth to them or were they lies to have a private wank bank addition.

Why do people feel this is ok and not consider how the other person may be left feeling....

Just my musing for the day.

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

I think we're all like this... single guys are just extra cocks...and the girls are treated like holes ... it's nicer to try to have a connection

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's not ok but not uncommon.

Unfortunately a % of people see online chats as an extension of their fantasy world and never have a serious intention of moving beyond that.

Since lockdown ended I've felt that long chats on Fab without meeting are not a good idea, in most cases.

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By *oachman 9CoolMan
over a year ago

derby


"I think we're all like this... single guys are just extra cocks...and the girls are treated like holes ... it's nicer to try to have a connection "
For me to find a connection is 50% of what I'm looking for that itself is a scarce to rare thing to find on any website the other 50% depends on what your looking for and for me that's just as hard to find putting them both together but not Impossible I believe given time perhaps a lot in my case..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"No it's not a thread about what you think its about.

Yes I know putting yourself on here you're subject to becoming that...... But when chats become private, personal and intimate and are ongoing for a long time then suddenly poof you're cut off, you can't help thinking did any of those words or conversations actually have any truth to them or were they lies to have a private wank bank addition.

Why do people feel this is ok and not consider how the other person may be left feeling....

Just my musing for the day."

People are fickle; when they don’t have to deal with any consequences face-to-face, they can be even more so.

Fab’s rules even support it to an extent, if taken literally….’no reply is a reply’.

It sucks, but that’s how it is.

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By *ily WhiteWoman
over a year ago

?

If I've ever been really interested in someone then I've always asked to meet early on...granted the main reason is because I get really bored of chatting, but it also stops this from happening

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By *acDreamyMan
over a year ago

Wirral

It goes both ways Tind. There are lots of girls on here who chat, flirt and then disappear without explanation.

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts


"No it's not a thread about what you think its about.

Yes I know putting yourself on here you're subject to becoming that...... But when chats become private, personal and intimate and are ongoing for a long time then suddenly poof you're cut off, you can't help thinking did any of those words or conversations actually have any truth to them or were they lies to have a private wank bank addition.

Why do people feel this is ok and not consider how the other person may be left feeling....

Just my musing for the day."

That’s why I won’t do that anymore unless we’ve met. x

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By *ink Panther.Woman
over a year ago

Preston

I’ve been banging on about this since I joined Fab. Guys are predominantly visual and they’ll do anything for their next ‘fix’. If females are going to show their bodies then they’ll attract a certain type of male. It’s the chance you take.

On the flip side women are equally as guilty of wanting attention and leading guys to believe there is a potential meet in the future. When in fact they just want a confidence boost.

Women are the only ones wronged on this site

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People think it's ok because they are wankers and couldn't care less about hurting someone else.

It's one thing I hate, especially if you connect really well with that person but circumstances make it difficult to meet. I don't think you really ever know someone until you've spent loads of time one or one in real time. But you've got to put your trust in people sometimes if you believe they are worth it and hope for the best and that what they say is genuine.

I get why some people completely close off sometimes and want to meet straight away etc, it saves a little sadness somewhere down the line.

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By *tephTV67TV/TS
over a year ago

Cheshire


"If I've ever been really interested in someone then I've always asked to meet early on...granted the main reason is because I get really bored of chatting, but it also stops this from happening "

This

I find online chatting boring, even when I’m browsing the forums I’m often doing something else.

So I prefer to meet in the flesh and as I’m only meeting in clubs or venues I generally find the conversation doesn’t last long after that.

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By *aFemmeCoquette OP   Woman
over a year ago

somewhere, someplace


"It goes both ways Tind. There are lots of girls on here who chat, flirt and then disappear without explanation. "

It was a universal musing over all the sexes x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

After a fair few really upsetting inhumane ways of being let down, led on, stood up and ghosted/ignored on here I came to realise that the ones genuinely interested in meeting don't want excessive chat, pics, vids etc. I got really strict about it and nip it in the bud soon as it happens. A bold one liner usually sorts the wheat from the chaf stating clearly that youre not into dreamers and wankers, ask them to get back to you when they can be certain about meeting

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By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester

I don’t chat intimate to anyone so not an issue. That’s purely for someone I’m meeting.

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By *acDreamyMan
over a year ago

Wirral


"It goes both ways Tind. There are lots of girls on here who chat, flirt and then disappear without explanation.

It was a universal musing over all the sexes x"

I was not suggesting either was OK. I was sharing your frustration.

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By *ack688Man
over a year ago

abruzzo Italy (and UK)

I think a large part of the problem is that any sort of virtual meetings happen with a barrier between you, the barrier of anonymity, or distance, or whatever it happens to be, and the normal social rules in terms of expectations of behaviour become irrelevant in some people’s minds. It’s almost as though this is an entertainment medium in some ways, like a chat room version of a tv show, if that makes sense, it dehumanises the person on the other side of the screen, or the other end of the message, and like a tv show, when they have had enough of that particular type of entertainment, they feel there nothing wrong with just switching it off, or turning it over looking for a new show to be entertained by.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"People think it's ok because they are wankers and couldn't care less about hurting someone else.

It's one thing I hate, especially if you connect really well with that person but circumstances make it difficult to meet. I don't think you really ever know someone until you've spent loads of time one or one in real time. But you've got to put your trust in people sometimes if you believe they are worth it and hope for the best and that what they say is genuine.

I get why some people completely close off sometimes and want to meet straight away etc, it saves a little sadness somewhere down the line. "

Beautifully put!

And tindergirl, my inbox is open. Been through similar. X

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By *tue555Man
over a year ago

Passed Beyond Reach


"No it's not a thread about what you think its about.

Yes I know putting yourself on here you're subject to becoming that...... But when chats become private, personal and intimate and are ongoing for a long time then suddenly poof you're cut off, you can't help thinking did any of those words or conversations actually have any truth to them or were they lies to have a private wank bank addition.

Why do people feel this is ok and not consider how the other person may be left feeling....

Just my musing for the day."

We live in a self important, self gratifying, self absorbed society. Created by media, industry social pressures etc. Get rich quick culture which are exploitative.

Past 18 months have shown that we are a broken society, with no social conscience or consideration for anyone but ourselves.

I saw an advertisement for dogs on one of the pet sites. "Price Reduced to get rid of" says it all

What has this to do with OP, well it shows just how far we have sunk and this site is becoming a reflection of this self important disregarding attitudes.

Steps off soap bix

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There seems to be an increase in people ghosting for no reason.

If conversations are already "dying" due to the sometimes weirdness that it only talking via message it can be somewhat understandable but if convos are hot af and die just after a wank sesh.... Just sounds like they wanted to wank while knowing they're interacting with someone, without really caring about them.

It's the issue with the online world, since everyone is behind a screen people tend to be more desensitized to others being real people and having their own feelings but hey, here's to hoping that becomes less and less of an issue and everyone becomes more aware of this as time goes on.

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

I can see your point exactly but I will also say that in reference to opposing genders, if it were a woman who dropped and disappeared, then the assumption would be that the guy did something wrong.

I’m not saying that you did something wrong or that your assessment isn’t correct, just that people break contact for any reason at any time and we rarely get an explanation, in fact looking or asking for one is often a negative.

It sucks, it’s awful and it can sting our self esteem, especially if you feel that you’ve been taken advantage of.

It’s a sad part of fab that we all deal with at some point unfortunately

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By *aFemmeCoquette OP   Woman
over a year ago

somewhere, someplace


"I can see your point exactly but I will also say that in reference to opposing genders, if it were a woman who dropped and disappeared, then the assumption would be that the guy did something wrong.

I’m not saying that you did something wrong or that your assessment isn’t correct, just that people break contact for any reason at any time and we rarely get an explanation, in fact looking or asking for one is often a negative.

It sucks, it’s awful and it can sting our self esteem, especially if you feel that you’ve been taken advantage of.

It’s a sad part of fab that we all deal with at some point unfortunately "

Oh I get your point completely, thing is if I did do anything wrong in their eyes I'm a grown up and can take it on the chin of they told me,or even if they felt things had died off and didn't want to continue talking, it's the not knowing that nags in the back of my mind.

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By *aFemmeCoquette OP   Woman
over a year ago

somewhere, someplace


"I can see your point exactly but I will also say that in reference to opposing genders, if it were a woman who dropped and disappeared, then the assumption would be that the guy did something wrong.

I’m not saying that you did something wrong or that your assessment isn’t correct, just that people break contact for any reason at any time and we rarely get an explanation, in fact looking or asking for one is often a negative.

It sucks, it’s awful and it can sting our self esteem, especially if you feel that you’ve been taken advantage of.

It’s a sad part of fab that we all deal with at some point unfortunately

Oh I get your point completely, thing is if I did do anything wrong in their eyes I'm a grown up and can take it on the chin of they told me,or even if they felt things had died off and didn't want to continue talking, it's the not knowing that nags in the back of my mind."

It's when you have months of daily talk then nothing it throws some confusion and doubts

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)


"I can see your point exactly but I will also say that in reference to opposing genders, if it were a woman who dropped and disappeared, then the assumption would be that the guy did something wrong.

I’m not saying that you did something wrong or that your assessment isn’t correct, just that people break contact for any reason at any time and we rarely get an explanation, in fact looking or asking for one is often a negative.

It sucks, it’s awful and it can sting our self esteem, especially if you feel that you’ve been taken advantage of.

It’s a sad part of fab that we all deal with at some point unfortunately

Oh I get your point completely, thing is if I did do anything wrong in their eyes I'm a grown up and can take it on the chin of they told me,or even if they felt things had died off and didn't want to continue talking, it's the not knowing that nags in the back of my mind.

It's when you have months of daily talk then nothing it throws some confusion and doubts "

Absolutely! I can completely understand. I’ve had similar happen at various points of conversations and even relationships, it really messes with your head

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