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Have you every fucked your vacuum cleaner

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I did having come across a vid on a porn site. Tej was out at the time and I came twice, once i had it on the bed and me standing on the floor taking it from behind. Got turned on so much then I laid on top of it on bed. Done it a few times since but feel a bit embarrassed afterwards. Do feel embarrassed now but just wanted to know if other blokes and ladies have done this and do it and are married/partners/etc.

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By *ex HolesMan
over a year ago

Up North

I’ve fucked far worse than a vacuum cleaner

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’d a friend who did. Landed him in the hospital Clown

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Only when I didn’t empty the cylinder and burnt the motor out - then it was proper fucked.

Mr HH

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I’ve fucked far worse than a vacuum cleaner "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Poor Henry.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I’d a friend who did. Landed him in the hospital Clown "

Calling me a clown does not make me one.

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

Is your vacuum cleaner fucked now

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By *inky Biscuit DunkerMan
over a year ago

Gloucestershire

I need to stop coming on these forums

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I’d a friend who did. Landed him in the hospital Clown

Calling me a clown does not make me one. "

Not you, my mate

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe I'll approach the housework today in a slightly different way..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not what I expected on a Tuesday morning

Did that not hurt?? Did you cover the end with something?

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By *isspurplechesterWoman
over a year ago

Chester

I once had a few friends around to stay after a night out, I got woken up in the middle of the night by the sound of my hoover, one of the lads was lying on the floor next to the bed fucking it! To be fair it didn’t surprise me at all, he was clearly loving it too! A few weeks later same situation, but this time the hairdryer haha

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By *hySoSerious85Man
over a year ago

Melbourne

haha I have a roombah....wouldnt even dare

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By *ichaelangelaCouple
over a year ago

notts

Fucked the bacon slicer in Tesco's.

Sadly she got the sack and so did I

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not the electrical device, but I did date a girl that could suck chrome off a bumper.

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By *ave1963BarnsleyMan
over a year ago

Barnsley


"Not what I expected on a Tuesday morning

Did that not hurt?? Did you cover the end with something? "

He could've used a condom. Safe sex and all that...

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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago

somewhere

Someone on here has a video of him doing just that with his hoover

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

So is the phrase " sucks like a Dyson " really true then ??

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By *oober698Man
over a year ago

Lincoln

Nothing sucks like an Electrolux!

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By *otMe66Man
over a year ago

Terra Firma

Giving this a second of thought, I am pretty sure the noise would put me off, let alone the fear of attending A&E with a lot of explaining to do...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I once had a few friends around to stay after a night out, I got woken up in the middle of the night by the sound of my hoover, one of the lads was lying on the floor next to the bed fucking it! To be fair it didn’t surprise me at all, he was clearly loving it too! A few weeks later same situation, but this time the hairdryer haha "

He could have got heat stroke

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38


"I’ve fucked far worse than a vacuum cleaner "

I have no doubt

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I broke the handle on my broom by tackling a corner a bit too hard....does that count??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Not what I expected on a Tuesday morning

Did that not hurt?? Did you cover the end with something?

He could've used a condom. Safe sex and all that... "

No I mean because it's hollow and metal. Sounds very... Scrapey

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Not what I expected on a Tuesday morning

Did that not hurt?? Did you cover the end with something?

He could've used a condom. Safe sex and all that...

No I mean because it's hollow and metal. Sounds very... Scrapey "

Yes....I'd rather use a mouth

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nope but I suspect a couple off guys I been with have

They always say I suck like a dyson always wonderd how they new how a dyson sucked like well now I know

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By *igmaMan
over a year ago

Yorkshire

Did you bag up, or go in bagless?

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

. One of funniest threads I ever read on here was similar to this one! Wish I could find it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ve destroyed a couple of Dysons, but not by sticking my dick in them.

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By *oonshadowWoman
over a year ago

COVENTRY

How u doing Henry

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By *ean counterMan
over a year ago

Market Harborough / Kettering

The bottom of that barrel has been well and truely scraped

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By *ixie and adamCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow


"I’d a friend who did. Landed him in the hospital Clown "

This what i’d assume would happen!

- Adam

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By *oonshadowWoman
over a year ago

COVENTRY


"The bottom of that barrel has been well and truely scraped "

I never suck up to anyone

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By *andsome HandMan
over a year ago

roundabout

I said don't disturb me when I'm cleaning my room

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Too funny. This is comedy gold!!!

Budget version; dustpan & brush!

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By *iltopbearMan
over a year ago

Norfolk

Just when you thought you'd heard everything.

Too funny

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The hospital thing is an urban myth.

Stick your dick in where the rotary brushes are ... sure, you're going to do some damage.

Stick your dick in a suitably lubed extension hose, where there's suck but nothing more, and just for the sake of hygiene, when you're wearing a condom, and it's no big deal.

Don't believe me?

Try putting your hand over the end of a Hoover hose. Does your skin get ripped off? No.

So as long as your dick isn't going to meet anything more than suction, you'll be fine.

I certainly was.

With both a hand held Dyson and an upright Dyson.

Actually, it wasn't at all unpleasant.

(Try this at your own risk.)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well I had the reverse happen to me..I cradled it lovingly took it to the check out and when I heard the price...yes I was fucked! Jeeze some places you could buy a car for the same price as a dyson

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38


"The hospital thing is an urban myth.

Stick your dick in where the rotary brushes are ... sure, you're going to do some damage.

Stick your dick in a suitably lubed extension hose, where there's suck but nothing more, and just for the sake of hygiene, when you're wearing a condom, and it's no big deal.

Don't believe me?

Try putting your hand over the end of a Hoover hose. Does your skin get ripped off? No.

So as long as your dick isn't going to meet anything more than suction, you'll be fine.

I certainly was.

With both a hand held Dyson and an upright Dyson.

Actually, it wasn't at all unpleasant.

(Try this at your own risk.)"

I say whatever turns you on...go for it!

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By *ex HolesMan
over a year ago

Up North


"The hospital thing is an urban myth.

Stick your dick in where the rotary brushes are ... sure, you're going to do some damage.

Stick your dick in a suitably lubed extension hose, where there's suck but nothing more, and just for the sake of hygiene, when you're wearing a condom, and it's no big deal.

Don't believe me?

Try putting your hand over the end of a Hoover hose. Does your skin get ripped off? No.

So as long as your dick isn't going to meet anything more than suction, you'll be fine.

I certainly was.

With both a hand held Dyson and an upright Dyson.

Actually, it wasn't at all unpleasant.

(Try this at your own risk.)"

Follow your dreams

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By *ynecplCouple
over a year ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

No it has never crossed my mind. I have never looked at a home appliance and though wonder what would happen if I stuck my dick in it

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

[Removed by poster at 14/09/21 22:00:12]

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

I’m starting to think this isn’t actually a joke thread

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38


"Poor Henry. "

Could've been Hetty

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 14/09/21 22:01:47]

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By *ex HolesMan
over a year ago

Up North

I’m worried that my shark might actually bite my knob off

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By *ed-monkeyCouple
over a year ago

Hailsham

After 6 years of cleaning up dog hair from 2 spaniels ... it was pretty fucked ... so bought a new one

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I say whatever turns you on...go for it!"

I'm sure if I had a pussy, when making a salad, I just might have given a cucumber a second glance.

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38


"I say whatever turns you on...go for it!

I'm sure if I had a pussy, when making a salad, I just might have given a cucumber a second glance."

Best try them chilled

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By *ooo wet tight hornyWoman
over a year ago

lancashire


"I once had a few friends around to stay after a night out, I got woken up in the middle of the night by the sound of my hoover, one of the lads was lying on the floor next to the bed fucking it! To be fair it didn’t surprise me at all, he was clearly loving it too! A few weeks later same situation, but this time the hairdryer haha

He could have got heat stroke "

Well it just get's better...hahahaha...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The hospital thing is an urban myth.

Stick your dick in where the rotary brushes are ... sure, you're going to do some damage.

Stick your dick in a suitably lubed extension hose, where there's suck but nothing more, and just for the sake of hygiene, when you're wearing a condom, and it's no big deal.

Don't believe me?

Try putting your hand over the end of a Hoover hose. Does your skin get ripped off? No.

So as long as your dick isn't going to meet anything more than suction, you'll be fine.

I certainly was.

With both a hand held Dyson and an upright Dyson.

Actually, it wasn't at all unpleasant.

(Try this at your own risk.)"

I’ll just make my friend aware his hospital trip was a myth

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

why would you do that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Im sure this will reduce the life of your fillter.

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By *artinsexMan
over a year ago

Arundel

Yes , it was a Henry type,I had to take the hose off after putting a clean bag inside turned it on and fed my cock into the hole. Not all the way in as it would block the hole,just enough for the suction to cause a vibration around my cock.

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By *elle xWoman
over a year ago

Doire Theas

No hetty would not approve

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By *ntrigued32Couple
over a year ago

Nottingham

Henry is a boss!!

But good lord, No!!

Jo.Xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Im currently glaring at my Roomba and wondering how, just how?!!

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By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich

I used to fuck my eastern european cleaner. She used to take 4 hours to hoover a one bedroom flat.

She was a Slo-vac

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By *2000ManMan
over a year ago

Worthing

No o/p but been with a few decent 'suckers'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I used to fuck my eastern european cleaner. She used to take 4 hours to hoover a one bedroom flat.

She was a Slo-vac"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All I wanna do is do it, big girl big girl, All I wanna do is do it, big girl big girl

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The bottom of that barrel has been well and truely scraped "

They need a dust bag

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hope dust bag survived and OP you are not heavy cummer?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Vacum cleaner salesmen are really selling a dream - 24 hr cock sucking

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By *aturegentdurhamMan
over a year ago

Stanley

No but i once smashed a toaster with a hammer

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross


"I need to stop coming on these forums "

Especially on my profile pic..... filth !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So when a guy says how a woman sucks like a hoover, are we to assume that he has first hand experience for comparison?

Viv x

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By *immyinreadingMan
over a year ago

henley on thames

I fucked the cleaner once, does that count?

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By *ust PeachyWoman
over a year ago

Prestonish


"I say whatever turns you on...go for it!

I'm sure if I had a pussy, when making a salad, I just might have given a cucumber a second glance."

Never used fruit or veg for this - but I’d argue a courgette would be better. Ribbed for extra pleasure!

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By *immyinreadingMan
over a year ago

henley on thames


"I used to fuck my eastern european cleaner. She used to take 4 hours to hoover a one bedroom flat.

She was a Slo-vac"

I think I worked with her brother, slo-vac Ian

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By *immyinreadingMan
over a year ago

henley on thames


"Im sure this will reduce the life of your fillter."

May invalidate the warranty

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I really hope my partner doesn't fuck the vacuum when I'm not home.

Do you cum in it? What if you got an electric shock? Or it sucked your cock off?

I'm into some weird freaky shit but not sure about a vacuum.

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By *r DiverseMan
over a year ago

Binfield

Did you use a particular brand or will you be looking to test other makes?

Comparison between Dyson and other leading manufacturers on the cards?

Did you go for the brush or pipe?

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By *erfectman122Man
over a year ago

from somewhere nice

Op why would people fuck there vacuum cleaner

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hetty doesn't look pleased with herself for no reason

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I knew vacum cleaners were dirty

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Only once, when the vcr got mysteriously jammed.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The hospital thing is an urban myth.

Stick your dick in where the rotary brushes are ... sure, you're going to do some damage.

Stick your dick in a suitably lubed extension hose, where there's suck but nothing more, and just for the sake of hygiene, when you're wearing a condom, and it's no big deal.

Don't believe me?

Try putting your hand over the end of a Hoover hose. Does your skin get ripped off? No.

So as long as your dick isn't going to meet anything more than suction, you'll be fine.

I certainly was.

With both a hand held Dyson and an upright Dyson.

Actually, it wasn't at all unpleasant.

(Try this at your own risk.)

I’ll just make my friend aware his hospital trip was a myth "

So what was the actual injury he sustained??

Just curious...!

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By *atherjackhackettMan
over a year ago

Tipperary

Yes. I fucked it into the skip when it stopped working

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

I’ve watched porn of it, but never indulged myself personally. I don’t want my clit sucked to oblivion unless it’s by someone called Dave who has tattoos and big heavy full balls.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I really hope my partner doesn't fuck the vacuum when I'm not home.

Do you cum in it? What if you got an electric shock? Or it sucked your cock off?

I'm into some weird freaky shit but not sure about a vacuum. "

Start vacuuming around him and see if he gets a boner..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I’ve watched porn of it, but never indulged myself personally. I don’t want my clit sucked to oblivion unless it’s by someone called Dave who has tattoos and big heavy full balls."

Do you have to be so specific - Im not called Dave, dont have any tattoo's but can provide the last bit ....sometimes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I really hope my partner doesn't fuck the vacuum when I'm not home.

Do you cum in it? What if you got an electric shock? Or it sucked your cock off?

I'm into some weird freaky shit but not sure about a vacuum.

Start vacuuming around him and see if he gets a boner.. "

Or looks a bit sheepish.....sorry thats something else

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hmm I’d think that would be Quite painful possibly

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Goodness no, I have seen where that pipe goes... the filth I use it for is not going anywhere near my foof.

I was de-cobwebbing the other day and that's not a euphemism peeps

NBVN x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can see the advantages behind it but personally no! I'd be worried that I'd end up in A&E

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have been known to enjoy the suction and sensation of a vacuum cleaner in some very horny moments in years past . Of course now there are now cock stroking toys that produce good suction and a tighter fit and are easier to clean; I love mine

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