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Send help. Send chocolate. Please  | |||
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"Set up a crowd funding page, I’m sure the guys of fab will help out! " You have the best ideas  | |||
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"2 yr warranty if bought online... Eat ice cream...x" I haven't even got any ice cream | |||
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"A moment of silence for a fallen hero. Get a new one with next-day delivery. I always have a spare rabbit because I burn through them very quickly and won't be without one! Better safe than sorry." I am currently without the ability to even do that.... my bank card vanished on Saturday and I'm awaiting a new one dammit!! | |||
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"This is why we have credit cards. Unless you want us to try and fix it remotely by hive mind troubleshooting?" Do you think that'll work? No credit card here. That way leads to madness  | |||
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"My wand.... the thing that has kept me going throughout these last 18 months.... She's dead
Send help. Send chocolate. Please "I'm sure you could find a few tongues to satisfy you until you get a new one.  | |||
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"Are you gonna try and convince us all that you only own one ?? "I do!! | |||
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"Are you gonna try and convince us all that you only own one ??
I do!! "  | |||
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 xxxx | |||
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"My wand.... the thing that has kept me going throughout these last 18 months.... She's dead
Send help. Send chocolate. Please
I'm sure you could find a few tongues to satisfy you until you get a new one. "There is not a single tongue here though. Well.... there's mine. But I'm not that flexible. | |||
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"Mid or post play " Mid. I'm frustrated. | |||
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"A moment of silence for a fallen hero. Get a new one with next-day delivery. I always have a spare rabbit because I burn through them very quickly and won't be without one! Better safe than sorry. I am currently without the ability to even do that.... my bank card vanished on Saturday and I'm awaiting a new one dammit!!" Oh bugger! Manual wanks for a few days then | |||
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"My wand.... the thing that has kept me going throughout these last 18 months.... She's dead
Send help. Send chocolate. Please "Friends we gather her today to lay to rest a true hero in these difficult times now if everyone will lower there heads and pray Lo, there do I see my cord. Lo, there do I see my owner, and my plug, and my batteries. Lo, there do I see the line of my products, Back to the beginning! Lo, they do call to me. They bid me take my place among them, In the halls of Valhalla! Where the brave may buzz forever! | |||
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"Oh god no! Next day delivery is your friend, usually I’d suggest a wank in times of stress but I fear this may make you miss your trusty wand more, I can send tits if it helps? xxxx"Always | |||
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"Oh god no! Next day delivery is your friend, usually I’d suggest a wank in times of stress but I fear this may make you miss your trusty wand more, I can send tits if it helps? xxxx
Always "Ive just slipped into your box xx | |||
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"My wand.... the thing that has kept me going throughout these last 18 months.... She's dead
Send help. Send chocolate. Please
Friends we gather her today to lay to rest a true hero in these difficult times now if everyone will lower there heads and pray
Lo, there do I see my cord.
Lo, there do I see my owner,
and my plug, and my batteries.
Lo, there do I see the line of my products,
Back to the beginning!
Lo, they do call to me.
They bid me take my place among them,
In the halls of Valhalla!
Where the brave may buzz forever!"Amen | |||
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"Oh god no! Next day delivery is your friend, usually I’d suggest a wank in times of stress but I fear this may make you miss your trusty wand more, I can send tits if it helps? xxxx
Always
Ive just slipped into your box xx"I've just realized my wand is broken too. (Looks innocent).  | |||
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"I feel your cuntache, mine died at the height of its usage. Luckily they sent a replacement out within 48 hours or I'd have been leaping on any poor sod. If you have a PayPal account you can order one using that, the Doxy website accepts PayPal and you don't need a card for that? #helpingavagout." Ooooh....... my vag is most grateful to you for the suggestion.... | |||
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"Its obviously due to excessive wear and tear "It is. I confess. Excessively excessive. | |||
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"R.I.P "Come stroke me and make it better? | |||
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"Its obviously due to excessive wear and tear
It is. I confess. Excessively excessive."Surely they don't have a fair usage policy though | |||
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"Oh god no! Next day delivery is your friend, usually I’d suggest a wank in times of stress but I fear this may make you miss your trusty wand more, I can send tits if it helps? xxxx
Always
Ive just slipped into your box xx
I've just realized my wand is broken too. (Looks innocent). "You should see a doctor about that | |||
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"R.I.P
Come stroke me and make it better? "Ok, shall I get dressed or not? I'm naked at the moment, I was just applying lotion.. | |||
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"Oh god no! Next day delivery is your friend, usually I’d suggest a wank in times of stress but I fear this may make you miss your trusty wand more, I can send tits if it helps? xxxx
Always
Ive just slipped into your box xx
I've just realized my wand is broken too. (Looks innocent).
You should see a doctor about that "They said I need a mechanic. | |||
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"A moment of silence for a fallen hero. Get a new one with next-day delivery. I always have a spare rabbit because I burn through them very quickly and won't be without one! Better safe than sorry. I am currently without the ability to even do that.... my bank card vanished on Saturday and I'm awaiting a new one dammit!! Oh bugger! Manual wanks for a few days then "I know..... | |||
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"My wand.... the thing that has kept me going throughout these last 18 months.... She's dead
Send help. Send chocolate. Please
Friends we gather her today to lay to rest a true hero in these difficult times now if everyone will lower there heads and pray
Lo, there do I see my cord.
Lo, there do I see my owner,
and my plug, and my batteries.
Lo, there do I see the line of my products,
Back to the beginning!
Lo, they do call to me.
They bid me take my place among them,
In the halls of Valhalla!
Where the brave may buzz forever!"That's beautiful | |||
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"Oh god no! Next day delivery is your friend, usually I’d suggest a wank in times of stress but I fear this may make you miss your trusty wand more, I can send tits if it helps? xxxx
Always
Ive just slipped into your box xx"That was what that was? Ooooh | |||
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"Its obviously due to excessive wear and tear
It is. I confess. Excessively excessive.
Surely they don't have a fair usage policy though"I don't even know! I should have read the small print | |||
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"My wand.... the thing that has kept me going throughout these last 18 months.... She's dead
Send penises. Send chocolate. Please "Edited for accuracy…. | |||
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"My wand.... the thing that has kept me going throughout these last 18 months.... She's dead
Send penises. Send chocolate. Please
Edited for accuracy…."You forgot tongues.  | |||
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"R.I.P
Come stroke me and make it better?
Ok, shall I get dressed or not? I'm naked at the moment, I was just applying lotion.."Definitely not. Don't want lotion on the clothes. | |||
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x | |||
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"R.I.P
Come stroke me and make it better?
Ok, shall I get dressed or not? I'm naked at the moment, I was just applying lotion..
Definitely not. Don't want lotion on the clothes."Ok Sugartits jumping in the car now | |||
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"I have a new, unused, in the box 'spare' rabbit that i am extremely unlikely to open /use... I can post it to you?!? "
How have you a spare that you are unlikely to use??
And are you actually this much of an angel? How am I even asking.... I know you are! | |||
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"12 gun salute to the fallen hero, the hero that enjoyed the calling that was 'thrust' upon him. He died smiling I bet "Definitely | |||
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"Okay. It’s wasp season so get a dome shaped plastic pot and smear the inside with jam. Put this near a seaside little bin and wait until you have a fair number of the little blighters stuck on the jam inside. Carefully (note word usage) put a cap on the other end. Next grab your self a rolling pin and glue plastic dome (with wasps inside) onto one end (dome side up). Now when you are in need of relief give the rolling pin a damn good shake to annoy the little buggers in the dome and place against waffle. You’re welcome (still don’t understand why I failed the audition for Blue Peter) " You're a bloody genius you are! They should never have rejected you..... the world is a sadder place because of it. How about a YouTube channel? | |||
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"Debbie McGee might have one of Paul Daniels' spare ones "Can you ask her next time you see her? | |||
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"Is it still up there? " Dear God man..... that's not where it goes.... it's an outside kinda deal. | |||
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"My wand.... the thing that has kept me going throughout these last 18 months.... She's dead
Send penises. Send chocolate. Please
Edited for accuracy…."You are just too good to me. And.... erm.... you say it yet you don't do it? | |||
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"Are you going to bury it in the back garden? " I may have to..... | |||
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"My wand.... the thing that has kept me going throughout these last 18 months.... She's dead
Send penises. Send chocolate. Please
Edited for accuracy….
You forgot tongues. "Outrageous. | |||
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"Bet it’s the size of an Argos pen now "
Aside.... do they still have pens in Argos? | |||
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"Are you going to bury it in the back garden? I may have to....." Unless that’s what killed it | |||
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"I have a new, unused, in the box 'spare' rabbit that i am extremely unlikely to open /use... I can post it to you?!?
How have you a spare that you are unlikely to use??
And are you actually this much of an angel? How am I even asking.... I know you are!"
It's a long story haha... DM me if you want me to post xx | |||
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"Oh PoshPants! I feel for you x"I'm struggling, Red. I'm really struggling | |||
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"R.I.P
Come stroke me and make it better?
Ok, shall I get dressed or not? I'm naked at the moment, I was just applying lotion..
Definitely not. Don't want lotion on the clothes.
Ok Sugartits jumping in the car now"You're too good to me treacle | |||
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"What a sad day for me to return "Aww it is. But welcome back | |||
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"Unless that’s what killed it "Underrated comment | |||
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"Are you going to bury it in the back garden? I may have to..... Unless that’s what killed it "
I can't even get it in the front garden ffs | |||
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"I have a new, unused, in the box 'spare' rabbit that i am extremely unlikely to open /use... I can post it to you?!?
How have you a spare that you are unlikely to use??
And are you actually this much of an angel? How am I even asking.... I know you are!
It's a long story haha... DM me if you want me to post xx"I adore you. See you in your box in a bit xx | |||
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"have you tried changing the battery,,, even the duracell bunny will snuff it eventually,,, lol" Tis a plug in one.....  | |||
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"Mid or post play Mid. I'm frustrated." Oh no xx | |||
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"Are you going to bury it in the back garden? I may have to..... Unless that’s what killed it
I can't even get it in the front garden ffs"Does it need mowing? | |||
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"Set up a crowd funding page, I’m sure the guys of fab will help out! You have the best ideas "Might I suggest you sell your old one on a popular auction site ........ yes I'm sure some would ! | |||
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Mind, a friend of mine “crushed” her expanding rabbit | |||
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"Debbie McGee might have one of Paul Daniels' spare ones
Can you ask her next time you see her? "Yeah, I've got her on speed dial  | |||
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Time for a more up to date ‘all singing all orgasm’ model me thinks | |||
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"Are you going to bury it in the back garden? I may have to....." My commiserations Posh. No wonder the sun had buried its head behind the clouds, as it takes pity on your predicament and laments your woes and feeling the world has become a sadder place for your loss. May it rest in peace xx Regard burying it though... can you imagine a future Tony Robinson uncovering it on a dig and narrating the history of what this historic item may have been used for
And finally... I'd offer to make you a new one (I make wands) but fear you'd get splinters  though would send it with the assurance and guarantee that I'd help recover any damage | |||
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"Mid or post play Mid. I'm frustrated. Oh no xx" It was inopportune to say the least | |||
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"Are you going to bury it in the back garden? I may have to..... Unless that’s what killed it
I can't even get it in the front garden ffs
Does it need mowing?"It does. But it's not that bloody big! | |||
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"Sorry Posh buy I've eaten all the chocolate but let me suggest putting a brick in your washing machine, sticking a suction dildo to it either on top or to the front and then plonking yourself onto said dildo. Who cares if your washer is fucked as long as you will be sated and happy "You're a clever sausage Sophie! | |||
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"Set up a crowd funding page, I’m sure the guys of fab will help out! You have the best ideas
Might I suggest you sell your old one on a popular auction site ........ yes I'm sure some would !"That both makes me feel a bit and also makes me wonder if that's true..... | |||
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"I think if you’re crumping mains-powered sex toys then you maybe need to ask yourself a few questions
Mind, a friend of mine “crushed” her expanding rabbit "I completely confess I've overused it..... this is what happens when your requirement for orgasms outstrips your ability to have someone to help! | |||
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"Debbie McGee might have one of Paul Daniels' spare ones
Can you ask her next time you see her?
Yeah, I've got her on speed dial "Knew you'd come through for me | |||
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"Youve over used it! That’s what you’ve done! You over used it!
Time for a more up to date ‘all singing all orgasm’ model me thinks "I have. Totally overused it! I confess. May have to save for a new one.... | |||
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"18 months is a really good going. That's the longest any of my pet wands lived "I am so glad it isn't just me!! | |||
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"Check the fuse or check you haven’t taken the power down in the whole area "There was a pop.... and a spark.... but the power in the area is ok thank goodness! | |||
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"Are you going to bury it in the back garden? I may have to..... My commiserations Posh. No wonder the sun had buried its head behind the clouds, as it takes pity on your predicament and laments your woes and feeling the world has become a sadder place for your loss. May it rest in peace xx Regard burying it though... can you imagine a future Tony Robinson uncovering it on a dig and narrating the history of what this historic item may have been used for
And finally... I'd offer to make you a new one (I make wands) but fear you'd get splinters though would send it with the assurance and guarantee that I'd help recover any damage "That would be awesome! I do wonder how often that kind of thing happens.... Make it a really smooth one would you | |||
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"Argh this would be my biggest nightmare! Especially now I have more alone time to fill!! I've had one break in past its so upsetting. Especially when you replace it but the model or settings have changed!! Hope yours is replaced ASAP. X" Thank you for sharing the sorrow. Me too | |||
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"I've been doing some research for ya Posh .. Good deals online at ... M.Olivander.com.. Thank me later "You're a twat | |||
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"My wand.... the thing that has kept me going throughout these last 18 months.... She's dead
Send help. Send chocolate. Please "By help you mean turn up with another wand? | |||
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"My wand.... the thing that has kept me going throughout these last 18 months.... She's dead
Send help. Send chocolate. Please "The wand chooses the wizard. | |||
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"18 months is a really good going. That's the longest any of my pet wands lived
I am so glad it isn't just me!!
You might remember my RIP wand post in a similar tone lol
I severed its head " | |||
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"Are you going to bury it in the back garden? I may have to..... My commiserations Posh. No wonder the sun had buried its head behind the clouds, as it takes pity on your predicament and laments your woes and feeling the world has become a sadder place for your loss. May it rest in peace xx Regard burying it though... can you imagine a future Tony Robinson uncovering it on a dig and narrating the history of what this historic item may have been used for
And finally... I'd offer to make you a new one (I make wands) but fear you'd get splinters though would send it with the assurance and guarantee that I'd help recover any damage
That would be awesome! I do wonder how often that kind of thing happens....
Make it a really smooth one would you "Dimensions? I fancy playing with my wood and be good to try something different  | |||
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"Are you going to bury it in the back garden? I may have to....." A short but moving ceremony? | |||
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"Oh god no! Next day delivery is your friend, usually I’d suggest a wank in times of stress but I fear this may make you miss your trusty wand more, I can send tits if it helps? xxxx
Always
Ive just slipped into your box xx
I've just realized my wand is broken too. (Looks innocent).
You should see a doctor about that
They said I need a mechanic. "Ouch | |||
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"I've been doing some research for ya Posh .. Good deals online at ... M.Olivander.com.. Thank me later " | |||
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 I feel your pain mine has died too | |||
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"I've been doing some research for ya Posh .. Good deals online at ... M.Olivander.com.. Thank me later
You're a twat "I know | |||
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" I feel your pain mine has died too "I'm sure that you could both find something to do together instead. | |||
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"Debbie McGee might have one of Paul Daniels' spare ones
Can you ask her next time you see her?
Yeah, I've got her on speed dial
Knew you'd come through for me "She said that she's preoccupied, but will send Jim along as a replacement | |||
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"My wand.... the thing that has kept me going throughout these last 18 months.... She's dead
Send help. Send chocolate. Please
By help you mean turn up with another wand?
"That absolutely works | |||
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"18 months is a really good going. That's the longest any of my pet wands lived
I am so glad it isn't just me!!
You might remember my RIP wand post in a similar tone lol
I severed its head "I do recall.... that's impressive | |||
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"Are you going to bury it in the back garden? I may have to..... My commiserations Posh. No wonder the sun had buried its head behind the clouds, as it takes pity on your predicament and laments your woes and feeling the world has become a sadder place for your loss. May it rest in peace xx Regard burying it though... can you imagine a future Tony Robinson uncovering it on a dig and narrating the history of what this historic item may have been used for
And finally... I'd offer to make you a new one (I make wands) but fear you'd get splinters though would send it with the assurance and guarantee that I'd help recover any damage
That would be awesome! I do wonder how often that kind of thing happens....
Make it a really smooth one would you
Dimensions? I fancy playing with my wood and be good to try something different "Dealers choice I say | |||
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"Are you going to bury it in the back garden? I may have to..... A short but moving ceremony?" Sadly unmoving I imagine | |||
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"I've been doing some research for ya Posh .. Good deals online at ... M.Olivander.com.. Thank me later
"Don't encourage him! | |||
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"You don't need help btw. I challenge you to upcycle it creatively . "Wall art maybe.... | |||
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"Use your toothbrush "I was gonna use yours again | |||
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"Ah no Posh.... Gone to the big "Dildo" in the sky! (sounded better than vibrator (ahaem,)???? "
It has. I'm in mourning | |||
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" I feel your pain mine has died too "Shall we comfort each other? | |||
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"So not so posh time for a new wand but remember "it's not the wizard the choices the wand it's the wand that choices the wizard"" I'd like it to hurry.... | |||
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"My wand.... the thing that has kept me going throughout these last 18 months.... She's dead
Send help. Send chocolate. Please "I'm no expert on wands, but I'm pretty sure chocolate isn't gonna help you fix it. Super glue or duct tape, yes, but chocolate? What were you thinking..? | |||
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"Debbie McGee might have one of Paul Daniels' spare ones
Can you ask her next time you see her?
Yeah, I've got her on speed dial
Knew you'd come through for me
She said that she's preoccupied, but will send Jim along as a replacement "Well now... that works | |||
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"You poor thing! " I know! Sad day | |||
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"My wand.... the thing that has kept me going throughout these last 18 months.... She's dead
Send help. Send chocolate. Please
I'm no expert on wands, but I'm pretty sure chocolate isn't gonna help you fix it. Super glue or duct tape, yes, but chocolate? What were you thinking..? "Not as a replacement!! | |||
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"My wand.... the thing that has kept me going throughout these last 18 months.... She's dead
Send help. Send chocolate. Please "I like fixing stuff...did it let the magic smoke out? | |||
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"My wand.... the thing that has kept me going throughout these last 18 months.... She's dead
Send help. Send chocolate. Please "Just use your satisfier pro for a while | |||
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"My wand.... the thing that has kept me going throughout these last 18 months.... She's dead
Send help. Send chocolate. Please
I like fixing stuff...did it let the magic smoke out? "It went pop and sparked.... | |||
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"Try changing the fuse before throwing out "We are way beyond fuses... | |||
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"My wand.... the thing that has kept me going throughout these last 18 months.... She's dead
Send help. Send chocolate. Please
Just use your satisfier pro for a while "I'm totally on it | |||
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"Posh..you've worn out your wand! Don't know how tonfix them. Back to Old skool wanking now then!. Better warm those fingers up "I did | |||
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"Try changing the fuse before throwing out
We are way beyond fuses..." oh no, that bad? | |||
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"My wand.... the thing that has kept me going throughout these last 18 months.... She's dead
Send help. Send chocolate. Please
I like fixing stuff...did it let the magic smoke out?
It went pop and sparked...."oh dear ... that's fairly terminal....my sanding mouse did that the other day....sounds like it's permanently fuckered | |||
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"Try changing the fuse before throwing out
We are way beyond fuses...
oh no, that bad? "Funeral time | |||
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"My wand.... the thing that has kept me going throughout these last 18 months.... She's dead
Send help. Send chocolate. Please "I appreciate that this doesn't help in the short term but sign up to a adult toy site to be a tester, that way you can get some for free. Saves your money to leave you to buy more in the long run. Hope your Monday improves! | |||
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"My wand.... the thing that has kept me going throughout these last 18 months.... She's dead
Send help. Send chocolate. Please
I like fixing stuff...did it let the magic smoke out?
It went pop and sparked....oh dear ... that's fairly terminal....my sanding mouse did that the other day....sounds like it's permanently fuckered "It very much is.... | |||
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"My wand.... the thing that has kept me going throughout these last 18 months.... She's dead
Send help. Send chocolate. Please
I appreciate that this doesn't help in the short term but sign up to a adult toy site to be a tester, that way you can get some for free. Saves your money to leave you to buy more in the long run.
Hope your Monday improves! "Ooooh I'm going to look into that.... | |||
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"Use the dildo in the picture " I was..... | |||
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"Oh no posh!! Munchies and buttons OK? X" Yes please Miss M xx | |||
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