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Married bi bareback

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

On here we have the benefit of (sometimes) lengthy profiles that give us a fair amount of information about what a person likes etc.

But what about in clubs? Obviously you can look for wedding rings/ white lines on fingers to check for married people. No clues for anything else though.

My question is- when in a club, do you ask a person questions about marital status/ bareback activity/ if they are bi.... Or do you just see someone you like and go have fun??

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By *empting Devil.Woman
over a year ago

Sheffield

Why does them being bi make any difference?

There does seem to be an attitude that bi men are higher risk than any other group.

And yet I am aware of far more couples who choose to indulge in bareback roulette that bi or gay guys. And to top it off many of those couples show disgust at the idea of knowingly playing with bi guys

It does seem that the last bigotry is against bisexual men. People who have no problem watching and joining in with bareback play involving couples (and no, no just playing with their OH) and bi play between women get aggressive and unpleasant when male bi play is suggested or starts to happen.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd only ask a man if he was bi if it was relevant, like I wanted him to play with me and another man, or I wanted to watch men playing together.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I seldom play with anyone I don't already know at clubs.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think this has gone a bit Off Topic

The OP was asking, what, when, how you might ask people in clubs about their personal preferences

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

not played with anyone in a club yet but no wouldn't ask a list. as just like profiles people could lie so safe is only way to go and regular checks thats what we do xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always hand a lengthy questionnaire out first, and ask the adjudicating panel to give the verdict on who gave the best answers to play with.

Wolf

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I always hand a lengthy questionnaire out first, and ask the adjudicating panel to give the verdict on who gave the best answers to play with.

Wolf

"

I haven't been to a club yet but I intend to ask for full cvs and references.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I always hand a lengthy questionnaire out first, and ask the adjudicating panel to give the verdict on who gave the best answers to play with.

Wolf

I haven't been to a club yet but I intend to ask for full cvs and references."

Should get them tattoed on your arm, like a menu

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I'm at a club then unless those things have come up in conversation I don't ask any questions.

I take responsibility for my own health and safety by ensuring condoms are always used whoever I play with regardless of their sexuality or marital status.

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By *adcowWoman
over a year ago

kirkcaldy

at clubs i usually ask if they have a partner (re know then not to dig nails in at any point), condoms a must(for my own safety )if it is their preference to go bareback i suggest they try someone else. ask if they are bi because i enjoy playing with bi fems and bi males too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't think it's necessarily a club thing.

Some people are dishonest. Period.

They will go to lengths to ensure that they get what THEY want.

I know that some people think they put enough protocols in place to ensure they meet a person who meets their profile of an ideal meet.

I do not believe for one minute that all the people I meet are the people they claim to be.

You have to remember that some people will bottle it or do the reveal once they feel they have your confidence.

Others won't.

More to the point, they are very convincing and have an almost 2nd life.

These may be people we meet once, twice or more and either we believe what they say or we don't.

If I let it bother me, I would have virtually zero meets because having been on sites like this for 12 years or so, I am constantly cynical about peoples motives and what they tell me to get what they want.

So I stick to the basics :

- do I fancy them ?

- do they fancy me ? (or at least say they do)

- does their messaging style suggest they are serious about meeting ?

Anything else is filler.

In a club, the last point is kinda invalid, so yeah if I see someone I am attracted to and the feeling is mutual, game on and no questions asked.

On the bareback issue, only we as individuals are responsible for our own sexual health - in a club or out of it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don't think it's necessarily a club thing.

Some people are dishonest. Period.

They will go to lengths to ensure that they get what THEY want.

I know that some people think they put enough protocols in place to ensure they meet a person who meets their profile of an ideal meet.

I do not believe for one minute that all the people I meet are the people they claim to be.

You have to remember that some people will bottle it or do the reveal once they feel they have your confidence.

Others won't.

More to the point, they are very convincing and have an almost 2nd life.

These may be people we meet once, twice or more and either we believe what they say or we don't.

If I let it bother me, I would have virtually zero meets because having been on sites like this for 12 years or so, I am constantly cynical about peoples motives and what they tell me to get what they want.

So I stick to the basics :

- do I fancy them ?

- do they fancy me ? (or at least say they do)

- does their messaging style suggest they are serious about meeting ?

Anything else is filler.

In a club, the last point is kinda invalid, so yeah if I see someone I am attracted to and the feeling is mutual, game on and no questions asked.

On the bareback issue, only we as individuals are responsible for our own sexual health - in a club or out of it."

Spot on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Over the years, we have asked about a persons preferences and watched or kept an eye on the way people have played when we have been out dogging.

We are very selective if and when we play and always play safe too.

As for finding out who is married, I would estimate 95% of the men who go dogging are married.

Finding out who is bi and bareback is anyones guess, very often if asked, the person or people being spoken to will lie their way to trying to get a play and by all accounts are practically monks. Then when they haven't got lucky with couples through the night they turn into '2 o'clock fairies' and can be found hanging out the back of a tranny or will be part of the 'when all is dark, a mouth is a mouth' brigade.

So to sum it all up, swinging, dogging and sex in general is a gamble, nobody truly knows who has been shagging who and how. Intuition is all we have.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Why does them being bi make any difference?

There does seem to be an attitude that bi men are higher risk than any other group.

And yet I am aware of far more couples who choose to indulge in bareback roulette that bi or gay guys. And to top it off many of those couples show disgust at the idea of knowingly playing with bi guys

It does seem that the last bigotry is against bisexual men. People who have no problem watching and joining in with bareback play involving couples (and no, no just playing with their OH) and bi play between women get aggressive and unpleasant when male bi play is suggested or starts to happen. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I always hand a lengthy questionnaire out first, and ask the adjudicating panel to give the verdict on who gave the best answers to play with.

Wolf

"

You also give out satisfaction surveys after don't you? Always improving the service hehe

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Intuition is all we have."

Plus luck. And Naked Gun style full body condoms

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I always hand a lengthy questionnaire out first, and ask the adjudicating panel to give the verdict on who gave the best answers to play with.

Wolf

You also give out satisfaction surveys after don't you? Always improving the service hehe "

I look forward to filling one in J

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Intuition is all we have.

Plus luck. And Naked Gun style full body condoms "

I go for the Hazmat suit in clubs, just in case there is some randomly friendly fire!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I always hand a lengthy questionnaire out first, and ask the adjudicating panel to give the verdict on who gave the best answers to play with.

Wolf

I haven't been to a club yet but I intend to ask for full cvs and references."

CBR checks too?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I always hand a lengthy questionnaire out first, and ask the adjudicating panel to give the verdict on who gave the best answers to play with.

Wolf

I haven't been to a club yet but I intend to ask for full cvs and references.

CBR checks too? "

Is that to ride a motorbike? Or were you meaning CRB lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I always hand a lengthy questionnaire out first, and ask the adjudicating panel to give the verdict on who gave the best answers to play with.

Wolf

You also give out satisfaction surveys after don't you? Always improving the service hehe

I look forward to filling one in J "

Will there be time for that? Best leave it with you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I always hand a lengthy questionnaire out first, and ask the adjudicating panel to give the verdict on who gave the best answers to play with.

Wolf

You also give out satisfaction surveys after don't you? Always improving the service hehe

I look forward to filling one in J

Will there be time for that? Best leave it with you "

As long as you come back to collect it and review my answers...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I always hand a lengthy questionnaire out first, and ask the adjudicating panel to give the verdict on who gave the best answers to play with.

Wolf

You also give out satisfaction surveys after don't you? Always improving the service hehe

I look forward to filling one in J

Will there be time for that? Best leave it with you

As long as you come back to collect it and review my answers... "

Exactly! Hope an excuse would not be needed but its always good to take on the feedback and improve in the required areas!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I always hand a lengthy questionnaire out first, and ask the adjudicating panel to give the verdict on who gave the best answers to play with.

Wolf

You also give out satisfaction surveys after don't you? Always improving the service hehe

I look forward to filling one in J

Will there be time for that? Best leave it with you

As long as you come back to collect it and review my answers...

Exactly! Hope an excuse would not be needed but its always good to take on the feedback and improve in the required areas! "

I am sure it isn't needed, but practice does make perfect LOL

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don't think it's necessarily a club thing.

Some people are dishonest. Period.

They will go to lengths to ensure that they get what THEY want.

I know that some people think they put enough protocols in place to ensure they meet a person who meets their profile of an ideal meet.

I do not believe for one minute that all the people I meet are the people they claim to be.

You have to remember that some people will bottle it or do the reveal once they feel they have your confidence.

Others won't.

More to the point, they are very convincing and have an almost 2nd life.

These may be people we meet once, twice or more and either we believe what they say or we don't.

If I let it bother me, I would have virtually zero meets because having been on sites like this for 12 years or so, I am constantly cynical about peoples motives and what they tell me to get what they want.

So I stick to the basics :

- do I fancy them ?

- do they fancy me ? (or at least say they do)

- does their messaging style suggest they are serious about meeting ?

Anything else is filler.

In a club, the last point is kinda invalid, so yeah if I see someone I am attracted to and the feeling is mutual, game on and no questions asked.

On the bareback issue, only we as individuals are responsible for our own sexual health - in a club or out of it."

I heartily agree with all of this post. Truly one of the best things written on and about this site and sums up what the attitude should really be to all this.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don't think it's necessarily a club thing.

Some people are dishonest. Period.

They will go to lengths to ensure that they get what THEY want.

I know that some people think they put enough protocols in place to ensure they meet a person who meets their profile of an ideal meet.

I do not believe for one minute that all the people I meet are the people they claim to be.

You have to remember that some people will bottle it or do the reveal once they feel they have your confidence.

Others won't.

More to the point, they are very convincing and have an almost 2nd life.

These may be people we meet once, twice or more and either we believe what they say or we don't.

If I let it bother me, I would have virtually zero meets because having been on sites like this for 12 years or so, I am constantly cynical about peoples motives and what they tell me to get what they want.

So I stick to the basics :

- do I fancy them ?

- do they fancy me ? (or at least say they do)

- does their messaging style suggest they are serious about meeting ?

Anything else is filler.

In a club, the last point is kinda invalid, so yeah if I see someone I am attracted to and the feeling is mutual, game on and no questions asked.

On the bareback issue, only we as individuals are responsible for our own sexual health - in a club or out of it."

Couldn't agree more.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I agree. My point is not about whether people will meet bi men or people that do bareback etc. My point is that I don't understand why people seem to get so uptight about profiles on here and sometimes quite abusive.... And yet they may play with strangers at clubs that they haven't 'checked out'.

So I was wondering if people do reel off a load of questions at clubs.

Love the tattoo menu idea.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What really irritates me more than anything is the double standards in society regarding bisexual men. It is bigoted to abuse someone for their sexuality in much the same way as it's bigoted to abuse someone for the colour of their skin, yet one type of bigotry is vehemently prosecuted (racism) and the other (homophobia) is largely ignored.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"What really irritates me more than anything is the double standards in society regarding bisexual men. It is bigoted to abuse someone for their sexuality in much the same way as it's bigoted to abuse someone for the colour of their skin, yet one type of bigotry is vehemently prosecuted (racism) and the other (homophobia) is largely ignored. "

I agree that there's no need for abuse of anyone, no matter whether it's skin colour or sexuality or whatever.

However I do think that people have the right to choose who they play with.

I disagree with the attitude of some people when they are very abusive about it on the forums.

I don't know if they are homophobic, closet bi themselves, downright ignorant or what. Probably just unpleasant in general and not people I'd want to know anyway.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People should always and will always have a choice who they play with! But on the flip side there is no need to abuse people over race or sexuality! And lets face it, half those listed as straight on here are actually bi! lol

Anyway, there are better ways to abuse someone! Tied to a bed, blindfolded........ mmmmmmm

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"People should always and will always have a choice who they play with! But on the flip side there is no need to abuse people over race or sexuality! And lets face it, half those listed as straight on here are actually bi! lol

Anyway, there are better ways to abuse someone! Tied to a bed, blindfolded........ mmmmmmm "

I wonder if people get the same level of abuse in a club as on here. I'm sure people wouldn't be so fiery face to face.

Ooooh well that kind of abuse is always welcome! Lie down while I get the cuffs....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"People should always and will always have a choice who they play with! But on the flip side there is no need to abuse people over race or sexuality! And lets face it, half those listed as straight on here are actually bi! lol

Anyway, there are better ways to abuse someone! Tied to a bed, blindfolded........ mmmmmmm

I wonder if people get the same level of abuse in a club as on here. I'm sure people wouldn't be so fiery face to face.

Ooooh well that kind of abuse is always welcome! Lie down while I get the cuffs.... "

Dum di dum di dum! hurry up chook!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

My question is- when in a club, do you ask a person questions about marital status/ bareback activity/ if they are bi.... Or do you just see someone you like and go have fun??"

no I don't but neither do I ask the sexy chick in ASDA if she fucks. I tend to prefer to get to know someone a little before I put my cock in them as I am pretty fussy about where I put my tongue or cock.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Interesting thread, not for the first time exposing the rich vein of hypocrisy running through this scene.

Women and couples with profiles containing never-ending lists of dos and don'ts, likes and dislikes. And yet come the weekend, the same people waltz into their local swinging club and play with any and everybody! Age? Married? Bi?

Most peculiar, but that's just my opinion!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldnt dream if giving someone the 3rd degree about their private life in a club and if anyone did that to me id tell them to naff off

When i go into a play room first thing i always do it get a couple of condoms out and put them on the side making it clear without having to say anything they are to be used

Anything alse about then is nothing to do with me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Whether in a club or not I don't really concern myself with the state of someone else's marriage. If someone has reached the point where their marriage is stale (but they can't/won't/haven't left for reasons of their own) then I feel they are prefectly entitled to seek sex outside of it. Just because one partner in a marriage prefers to live a life of celibacy it doesn't mean the other partner has to live it too.

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